MTG Salvation

I know I haven't posted in a while, but I warned you I hardly would. Anyway, not much has happened recently. Well, there has been something, but aside from that I got my hair straightened.. kinda. It's still a little too short to, but I did it somewhat and the fact that it's tamed now and not wild and curly means my parents will stay off my back in terms of cutting it. But it feels great waking up and my hair not looking like a retarded chicken or nothin', it's just.. calm. Like white emo-boy hair. I love it. I feel like Leon Kennedy from RE4, which players know feels awesome. *Jumps through a two story window glass and lands safely and unscathed, kicks down doors and shatters barrels with a single knife swipe* Awesome.

Anyway, so a long time ago I had this friend, and to cut through this somewhat quickly, our friendship ended, but it wasn't quite mutual. I wanted to continue the friendship, but she didn't. Honestly she had called me, I apologized, offered to make it up to her, and she was like "**** you." and hung up. What had happened? Well, she'd say my girlfriend got between us. I'd say that she wanted to be as important as my girlfriend. Sorry, but I'm not obligated to you like I am to her. Moving on, weeks and weeks later tension inside of me built up, and I grew to hate her more and more, until finally I exploded and wrote her a really nasty letter (I mean personal attacks here, everything I wanted to say, but nothing having to do with race, her sexuality, gender or anything legally binding to the extent of my knowledge). I left it on her door, rang the bell and left. It was cowardly, but so was she, so I thought I'd return the favor. I'm not above it anyway and I have no qualms about that.

So weeks go by. I heard her boyfriend showed up at my dorm looking for blood, but I wasn't there to shed it. I come back to the dorms and there's a letter slipped under my door. It's a notice that I've been charged with Harassment under the school's student conduct code and I had a hearing. I'll speed up the story from here- I pulled up the legal definition for Harassment in California and the relevant rule for the school and printed them out, brought them to the hearing. I said that the letter was in no way continuous or systematic, and thus it was not Harassment. He said that the attack was detrimental to her mental and emotional health, but then I argued that I had the freedom of speech, which, whether you like it or not, includes the freedom to write things that may be deemed offensive. In the end, I refused to accept responsibility for it, and I was still charged with probation and I can't talk to her. Big deal.

It may have cost me though, I won't be getting that job I applied for as an RA, but.. I'd rather not have admitted harassment on my record. I probably would have lost the job anyway with that.

Have you ever felt hated by someone? It's just not a good feeling. I get that by just being myself though, just by doing my day-to-day thing. When I used to walk into my English class last semester, I got that feeling. There were almost no grounds for it, other than me being a know-it-all or whatever, but to be hated? It's just uncalled for! I felt generally disliked, but sometimes on these boards I feel hated. The other week I came in on that IRC chat where everyone was sending questions to MaRo, and when I walked in, someone said something along the lines of "Zyrakris [end], I hate that guy. [end]" Wtf? What did I ever do to deserve to be hated? Maybe you might not like me, but then tell me you don't like me, say why. I don't know, I guess I just want a reason.

And then there was that thread in Speculation talking about the 6th Color. I admit that I got really into it, really heated, and someone told me just to calm down and step back. I appreciated that, it made sense, I was jumping over the line, but sometimes don't you feel that if you're outnumbered you just have to speak as loud as everyone else in opposition to you speaks combined? That's kind of how I got. So someone responded with:

"I hope they come out with Purple cards just so you quit."

Maybe to admit that this got to me is to admit defeat, but if it means that everyone else knows that what you say, no matter if it's in voice or in a forum, has an effect on you and your day. I've said this to someone else before in some form (though not quoting them individually) and I apologize, because now I know what it's like when being on the receiving end. Though this game isn't the world to me, and doesn't mean anything like my girlfriend does or whatever, but it's still a lot to me and I think a lot of people on this site can agree with that. It's why I have the friends I do, the life I do, the experiences I do. To say "I hope X happens just so you quit." is just like saying "I hope you die." 'cause Magic is our lives, you know? As you much as you wanna say, "Step back, take a breather." (which I do a lot, especially after bad runs and running into jerks on MWS) you still have to come back to it. Even if you quit, you come back, you look back, time and time again. It's the addictive ink, I tell you!

Jokes aside, quitting Magic is like killing off a big piece of who you are. Magic is part of who I am, whether you like it or not, whether you think it's stupid or not, whether you want me to quit or not and most of all, regardless of what you think of me. Nothing you say can change that. I probably won't ever quit, but anyone with half-a-grip on reality and any semblance of human understanding or compassion would be able to tell that people will overreact, and I probably will say it again. That doesn't mean I mean it, that doesn't mean I deserve that kind of response, that doesn't mean I deserve to be hated.

So I've returned to my dorm room, where I share a small apartment with three other irritating roommates, but thankfully the worst one has left and I can finally play my music in peace to, as usual, a pretty sunset. Though I'm left without any particularly interesting topic, I figure it's fine to talk about my day and my life in general, especially since hardly anyone is reading anyway.

I got a kick ass schedule for this semester (in College) and I have Mondays and Fridays off, with all my classes crammed into Tuesday and Thursday, one being on Wednesday. Not bad, especially since they all start in the afternoon basically. That means that in the mornings I get to enjoy the peace and capability of playing videogames and my music as loud as I like without bothering anyone, I don't have to share a bathroom, and most importantly I don't have to wake up early. But moving on...

I figure I should really get posting on the Clan thread that I belong to, since my friend Shin' says we really need activity. I just have consistency issues with things, falling out of old habits and making new ones, though thankfully that doesn't apply to my relationship with my girlfriend. That, and I'm waiting for the next round of the FCC to start, but I haven't checked if it has yet. I can't wait, I got knocked out of the first round last time! Not this time though... though.. I'll see who my opponent is, and then I can attempt to attain certainty. >_> Speaking of strange words, who here has Firefox? Everyone has to get that plug-in that allows you to look-up highlighted words. It's done me so much good.

So aside from that, my dad gave me a bunch of money before sending me back to the dorms. I'm saving it and I'm going to spend it on things me and my girlfriend need, like the adorable mice we got, an extra cage for the nine babies they had, and more mouse food. I guess it was a mistake to tell my girlfriend about the money though, she's already plotting how to spend it on herself. She's not selfish though, she just likes shopping.

Wow, we have Blogging technology now! How ironic that I just deleted my MySpace account too. Too bad that I don't have many personal friends on this site though, but I still know people, so.. that's cool. Some people are talking about this replacing Extendo sigs, which is also ironic because I just started on one. So much for that though.. so long as I can put kooky quotes on here and pictures and stuff. Hmm.. maybe I'll still need that Extendo sig.

With Ravnica, Guildpact, and Dissension, Wizards has introduced to us a new world full of multicolor goodness, allowing us to enhance our mono-color decks, create new ones out of intriguing new mechanics, creatures, and spells, and add or splash as many colors as we like as easily as we can. With the introduction of the latest block, we have seen the most varied Standard format since Invasion. As each day passes, we discover new, intriguing, powerful, but above all expensive decks.