MTG Salvation

The Bazaars of Ashif are one of the few places in the multiverse where planeswalkers openly gather. The planar natives buy, sell and collect paraphenalia from across the multiverse. From trinkets to secrets, everything has a price on Ashif. But now a planeswalker has been murdered, and the plane is locked down until the culprit is found.


Token 1 of 1.

Clue
Token artifact - Clue
2, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.
"Aether traces suggest the culprit planeswalked to Ashif within in the past two days."
-Dovin Baan

Hound
• Token creature - Hound
Haste
2/2

We've got a decent amount of entries already, so I'll get my judgments in by tonight!

Borrowed Time 2RR
Sorcery (Mythic Rare)
Take an extra turn after this one. At the beginning of that turn's end step, skip your next turn. Exile Borrowed Time.
Time always collects its due.

Votes: Cardz5000, Raptorchan

Thirteen + Old Keyword with a twist

Cemetery Rising 2BB
Enchantment (Mythic Rare)
Cumulative Upkeep - Put the top card of your library into your graveyard. (At the beginning of your upkeep, put an age counter on this permanent, then sacrifice it unless you pay its upkeep cost for each age counter on it.)
At the beginning of your upkeep, if there are exactly thirteen creature cards in your graveyard, sacrifice Cemetery Rising and return each of those creatures to the battlefield under your control.

NC for yesterday: Extra Steps/Turnz
NC for tomorrow: Sacrifice

On a world of Hazunda, there are two countries in conflict. Continental and island dwellers never liked each other too much, but somehow managed to live in peace until the day when mysterious otherworldly merchant appeared and started to sell completely new yet different technologies (especially alchemy secrets) to both of them. Being armed to the level of tanks, airplanes and chemical warfare, two factions started an inevitable war and, of course, plunderer of worlds can't wait to maximize his profits from it...
Common 1 of 10

Hazban Smuggler 1U
Creature - Merfolk Pirate (C)
Skulk (This creature can't be blocked by creatures with greater power.
U: Hazban Smuggler gets -1/+1 until end of turn.
2/1

Azra Stonebreaker 2R
Creature - Azra Shaman (C)
Whenever Azra Stonewarden enters the battlefield, destroy target artifact.
"If the cliffsides are too steep for our landing ships, we're usually here to oblige."
2/2

Bitterbite Blessing 1G
Sorcery (C)
Target creature gets +2/+2 until end of turn.
Enlighten - If the top card of your library shares a color with Bitterbite Blessing, that creature gains deathtouch until end of turn.
"Bitterbite flowers were nothing more than a common weed, until we were shown how to truly exploit it."
-Tora, Bajig Alchemist

Massive apologies to everyone for the late judgements. Last week was very hectic.

Ulka: This is a very odd card and definitely an interesting one. Very good for a go-wide strategy as you could use that in the end step to get rid of all blockers. I like the nod to toughness-matters in the flavour text, but I feel like I don't know where this goes in rarity. Either a janky rare or a very strong uncommon.

VolraththeRisen: I like the flavour of this card. It's a drunk guy who somehow sobers up in time for the killing move. I like the fact that it has to survive attacking for it to use its ability, but I wonder if having the ability at instant speed would make it too good for a limited environment (I like thinking about limited it seems). It's a very cool design and it's probably a strong uncommon power-level wise.

Cardz5000: I feel like if this card was either in a set with little to no artifacts or costed one more R I would let you keep the artifact instead of it being lost at the end of turn. It would fit more in the flavour of a train job I feel. It's a solid design however and could definitely see print.

Flatline: I'm not too sure how I feel about any of these if I can be honest. Wrangler's Lariat is ridiculously good for limited and should probably have a mana activation cost. Horsemanship has been out of the loop for so long I feel that you're more likely to see a new take on it instead of it being reintroduced. Backroad Bandit is a nice card but it doesn't offer much new in terms of design space. Circle the Wagons is a version of Riot Control that hasn't been done before, but the card lacks much needed flavour to help it out. Quickdraw Duelist is a very interesting card, it reminds me of Izzet Staticaster and I feel like you could have made your card a bit more akin to this one's power level - perhaps by making it ping every attacking or blocking creature?

Spelldreamer: Interesting design space and worth exploring its potential as a commander as well as other formats, I'm just not too sure what the trope here is (Lone Ranger I guess?) I think hexproof might be a bit too annoying as people would likely try and damage it to hit its controller somehow as well.

TotallyHaywire: I like the flavour of this card, but I feel it should make the creature tap rather than the equipment as that's not something they've done before. I do understand the decision as it would mean you don't get to fire the gun twice in a turn, but I don't think the card itself is strong enough to justify needing that drawback. The design is really interesting though!

Winner: VolrathTheRisen

Next: Justifiably flavourful uses of Q.

Cardz5000, Infinitydie

Waystop Constable 1W
Creature - Human Soldier (Uncommon)
Vigilance
When Waystop Constable enters the battlefield, you become the sheriff.
Whenever a nontoken creature you control dies, investigate.
"Used to have decent folk pass through here. Now it's all bandits and metal-armed strangers."
2/2

The Sheriff is a bit like the Monarch/City's Blessing, only like this:

The Sheriff
At the beginning of your end step, Investigate.
At the beginning of each player's upkeep, if that player controls more creatures than you, that player becomes the sheriff.

IIW: Emblems

Vessel of Will 4
Artifact creature - Golem (Rare)
1W: If Vessel of Will becomes a 4/4 Golem Artificer.
2GB: If Vessel of Will is an artificer, put two +1/+1 counters on it and it becomes a Human Golem Artificer.
3RU: If Vessel of Will is a Human Golem, create two tokens that are a copy of it and it becomes a Human Artificer creature with lifelink and "This creature gets +1/+0 for each artifact you control." (It's no longer an artifact)
3/3

Enemy Umbra + Retribution of the Meek

Gladiator's Knell 5WBR
Sorcery (Rare)
Gain control of all creatures with 4 power or greater.
"Hero or not, you are my property."

Raincloud Shaman + Fellwar Stone

Farsight Watcher 3GW
Creature - Giant Druid
When Farsight Watcher enters the battlefield, each player may put a land card from their hand or graveyard onto the battlefield.
T: Add X mana of any one color that a land an opponent controls could produce, where X is the number of Giants you control.
"There nothing you can hide that my brethren do not see."
3/5

Aw yes, the glass spike eyebrow tiger. The wolf's greatest nemesis.

Thoughtmonger 2U
Creature- Illusion Monger (U)
2,T: Target player draws a card. any player may activate this ability, but only any time they could cast a sorcery (and only if Thoughtmonger is untapped).
2,Q: Draw a card. Activate this ability only once each turn.
"We need a plan, and I know a guy as sells 'em."
2/2

IIW: Commander 2019. Design a face card and another card on theme for the deck.

At this point, I'm pretty sure club precedent dictates that Sephon19 must both win this challenge & be disqualified.

void_nothing, Subject16

Marred Recluse GG
Creature — Human Druid {C}
Transmorphic (At the beginning of your end step you may transform this.)
T: Add G.
The Tasslewood is home to more than just beasts...
1/1
////
Runescarred Wumpus
(G) Creature — Beast Druid {C}
Transmorphic (At the beginning of your end step you may transform this.)
...But they do their best to not let on.
3/3

IIW: Card names that are anagrams of existing card names.

I have to respectfully but completely disagree.

-The Elder Dragon War was't just one of many conflicts that ravaged Dominaria. It was the first world war, and by far the longest-lasting conflict that we know of. We're talking a planar war that emerged from out of Dominaria's most ancient history and lasted for centuries, probably millennia. We're talking countless generations of primeval human beings who knew existence only as chattel to be sacrificed at the whims of immortal tyrants, generations in which the entire purpose of being was waging war for one's winged overlords. This is far and beyond the cold war on Tarkir-this was mass devastation and nonstop global conflict. Consider the implications of that all, and the horror of it for a moment. Whenever such things as "civilized values" and "human dignity" finally took lasting hold among humanoids, it was only after the dragons were done using them as pawns. No wonder Bolas scorns such concepts as meaningless--it's not (just) because he's evil, but also because he predates such things as law, justice, civilization, and "rights." Arcades Sabboth trafficked in these ideas early on, but he was far ahead of his time.

This is what I took away from reading about the Elder Dragon War: the human element. What must the human experience have been like in such an era? No written history predates the war - war was the only history humans had. What values, what norms, what beliefs, philosophies, and morals did these chattel civilizations develop to find meaning in their existence? It must have been very alien to us, nothing at all resembling, say, Judeo-Christian morals or Confucian ethics. Generation after generation, humans were inferior lifeforms who existed solely to feed the jaws of a global, neverending war.

To me, this is far more horrifying and interesting than Superdragons brawling across the Multiverse. That's fun in concept of course, but to me the idea carried all the emotional and dramatic weight of a kaiju battle or a Michael Bay robot fight. Dominaria is a world I care about, and its people and cultures matter to me. Seeing how its early civilizations were born in the clutches of dragon tyranny was a fascinating choice, and I honestly much prefer this more localized version of the Elder Dragon War, involving victimized human kingdoms, to the multiverse-wide monster brawl I'd pictured before.

This month was the eight year anniversary of this thread. Eight years! It's honestly incredible to me that this thread has kept chugging along for this long.

While I may have left Club Flamingo, Club Flamingo hasn't left me. This thread, and what came out of it, continues to have influence on my life. Just ask my friends, who give me flamingo-themed gifts every year for Christmas. Or look at my household's semi-regular celebrations of "Flamingo Time," an impromptu holiday based on the time shown on a broken flamingo clock I have hanging above the entrance to my kitchen. This strange corner of the internet was a huge part of my life back in the day, and it makes me happy to see that it's still going in some form eight years later. Maybe if it's still around two years from now we can do something special for the ten year anniversary.

With all of that said, here's another Statistics update:

Club Flamingo Statistics Update — November 2018

Thread Rating: ☆☆☆☆☆. Thread ratings don't exist anymore, but I'm grandfathering this rating in. You are all worth five stars to me.

Thread Size: Unsurprisingly, we're still #1 with 61,261 posts. As of the last update three years ago we had 59,150 posts. That's only 2,111 posts over three years (as compared to the 17,600 reported in the two year period covered by the last statistics post), but from what I understand about overall forum traffic this isn't that surprising to me. Still, the glory days of nonstop spam appear to have ended.

Thread Views: First, with 2,324,835 views! Three years ago we were at 2,008,742 views. Crazy. Is anybody even looking at any other threads? You know, if everybody who looked at the thread posted we might have better stats for next time.

Posts per Day Lifetime: 20.61. This is a significant drop from the 34.19 we had three years ago. The thread has now been alive for 2,972 days, which I may remind you again is eight years.

Posts per Day since last update: 1.69. Last time I checked this the average was 24.42. This represents 2,111 posts over 1,243 days. If you scroll back through past statistics updates you'll see our highest-ever PPD rate was 99.35 over a single month period. So... it's been higher.

Thanks Count: 66. Maybe people have forgotten about this feature? Go thank the OP if you haven't, if only so that in 2025 when I come back here I'll get to say we kept that going up.

Top Ten Most Prolific Posters, Lifetime:
Chemtrails – 3496 (+62)
Megiddo – 3276 (+45)
Cythare – 2848 (+11)
admirableadmiral – 2581 (+66)
AsianInvasion – 2572 (-)
void_nothing – 1706 (+133)
Oculus – 1675 (+2)
avatarz – 1476 (+14)
Winterspring – 1409 (+67)
MDenham – 1355 (-)

No changes to the top 10 (other than some change in position)... and I'm not sure whether there ever really will be. void_nothing is has made the biggest gains lately but still has a long way to go to crack the top 5.

Previous Update

Votes: Raptorchan, void_nothing

Union of Flesh and Spirit 3W
Legendary Sorcery {R}
(You may cast a legendary sorcery only if you control a legendary creature or planeswalker.)
Exile all legendary creatures you don't control. Put a divinity counter on each legendary creature you control and it gains indestructible.
Without hesitation, Michiko opened her arms and flowed into Kyodai. Their bodies mingled like a river flowing into the sea, swirling currents of Michiko's will mixing with the rising tide of Kyodai's power.

IIW: Plane cards for Theros, Fiora (Conspiracy plane), Tarkir, Kaladesh, Amonkhet, Ixalan, Bablovia (Unstable plane), or Kylem (Battlebond plane)

Art by Terese Nielsen.

Laboratory Maniac is super interesting as an Uncommon.