Hahaha, so you're essentially turning it into a Skithiryx deck with more colours? You probably want some more Swords then, as Doran suffers from having 5 'power' and needs 5 swings to win. Feast and Famine/Body and Mind. Also Batterskull and Stoneforge Mystic are really very good together, so probably Batterskull would be good. Also Murmuring Bosk as a good sort of tri-land.
Nah, Oblation's better in Commander, isn't it?
Troll Ascetic is usually kinda underwhelming, but it seems somewhat more so in this deck. A 2/2 for 1GG with trollshroud and regenerate is pretty dreadful.
Also, you should definitely be playing Tarmogoyf over Grizzled Leotau, and a Lignify/Nameless Inversion for the Harbinger, as currently it seems to only get Indomitable Ancients (which also seems janky).
Journey isn't necessary, and Beast Within should be the better Maelstrom Pulse, and Karmic Guide is a must with Reivallark/Saffi.
TITANS!! Both Primeval and Sun seem good, as do some utility lands, (Bojuka Bog, Kor Haven, a Maze of your choice)
So are you trying to combo or are you trying to beatdown/quick ramp? Because if you're running Sword, that tends to look like your looking for consistent and redundant combo, and if so you might as well run Umbra, although I agree it would be the worst card in the deck.
Also, I'm not an expert in green commander decks, but I thought that Eternal Witness and Avenger of Zendikar were staples. And the manabase seems like it could support a lot more duals/lands that do stuff.
Sword of Feast and Famine seems underwhelming - pretty much just a Bear Umbra in disguise. Light and Shadow or Fire and Ice both just seem better. Also, Harrow always makes me nervous - why not Khalni Heart Expedition, or even Seedborn Muse? Both seem better, and less chance of being blown out by a counterspell.
Ooh, that's my bad, I forget there's two Rhys'. Yeah, I'd look at some of the more powerful artifacts out there - definitely Skullclamp, sol ring etc.
But really, Rhys is a pretty underpowered general. You'd probably be better off with someone like Gaddock Teeg or Captain Sisay, and build around them instead.
You're missing some of the great green and white staples as well. Krosan Tusker, Eternal Witness, Yavimaya Elder, Acidic Slime, Woodfall Primus, Reivellark, Karmic Guide, and Condemn.
I'm confused. Is this a Rhys the Exiled or a Teneb deck? If it's a Rhys deck, you can't play white, just green and black.
If it's Teneb, Wing Shards needs to go. It's awful. As do Battle Screech, Nuisance Engine, Quest for Renewal, Elixer of Immortality, Ghostly Prison and Soul Warden/
Soul's Attendant. Life gain is cute, but winning is better.
I'd recommend Primeval Titan, Seedborn Muse, Sheoldred, Whispering One, Geth, Lord of the Vault and definitely SOL RING! It's so good!
Truth or Tale should really be Fact or Fiction - its just straight up better.
No Sol Ring? They're really cheap price-wise now, and so much better than Palladium Myr.
Duplicant, Solemn Simulacrum and Mimic Vat are all staples, and for good reason. Phyrexian Metamorph is better than Clone, and Future Sight is better than Magus of the Future.
Some amount of counterspells is probably needed as well, as people tend to dislike losing, and will target you fairly early because you play such a broken General.
Also, the mana base is pretty bad, but I'm sure you realise this
But seriously, Jhoira is so insanely broken as a general that even the worst lists still win, and this is far from the worst I've seen.
Troll Ascetic is usually kinda underwhelming, but it seems somewhat more so in this deck. A 2/2 for 1GG with trollshroud and regenerate is pretty dreadful.
Also, you should definitely be playing Tarmogoyf over Grizzled Leotau, and a Lignify/Nameless Inversion for the Harbinger, as currently it seems to only get Indomitable Ancients (which also seems janky).
Journey isn't necessary, and Beast Within should be the better Maelstrom Pulse, and Karmic Guide is a must with Reivallark/Saffi.
TITANS!! Both Primeval and Sun seem good, as do some utility lands, (Bojuka Bog, Kor Haven, a Maze of your choice)
Also, I'm not an expert in green commander decks, but I thought that Eternal Witness and Avenger of Zendikar were staples. And the manabase seems like it could support a lot more duals/lands that do stuff.
Quest for Renewal
Soul's Attendant
Soul Warden
Essence Warden
Precursor Golem
World Queller
Battle Screech
Wing Shards
But really, Rhys is a pretty underpowered general. You'd probably be better off with someone like Gaddock Teeg or Captain Sisay, and build around them instead.
You're missing some of the great green and white staples as well. Krosan Tusker, Eternal Witness, Yavimaya Elder, Acidic Slime, Woodfall Primus, Reivellark, Karmic Guide, and Condemn.
If it's Teneb, Wing Shards needs to go. It's awful. As do Battle Screech, Nuisance Engine, Quest for Renewal, Elixer of Immortality, Ghostly Prison and Soul Warden/
Soul's Attendant. Life gain is cute, but winning is better.
I'd recommend Primeval Titan, Seedborn Muse, Sheoldred, Whispering One, Geth, Lord of the Vault and definitely SOL RING! It's so good!
No Sol Ring? They're really cheap price-wise now, and so much better than Palladium Myr.
Duplicant, Solemn Simulacrum and Mimic Vat are all staples, and for good reason. Phyrexian Metamorph is better than Clone, and Future Sight is better than Magus of the Future.
Some amount of counterspells is probably needed as well, as people tend to dislike losing, and will target you fairly early because you play such a broken General.
Also, the mana base is pretty bad, but I'm sure you realise this
But seriously, Jhoira is so insanely broken as a general that even the worst lists still win, and this is far from the worst I've seen.