Good poem, but there are a lot of grammar issues. I'll go line-by-line, I guess.
First line: I think the use of the word "thing" is somewhat un-lyrical. You should rack your brain and come up with a better word, even though "thing" works fine.
I like the second line a lot, though I think it would be better as "The sting and blur of my perception."
Third line: What's a twickle? I think you mean trickle.
Fourth line: Do you mean "an" instead of "and?"
Fifth line: There's one to many "an" particles.
Tenth line: This doesn't work grammatically--"I'd promised I wouldn't cry" is the correct structure.
Well, that's that. Good job. My personal favorite line is the second.
Dostoevsky, James Joyce, and Garcia Marquez would be my personal picks in terms of novels. Shakespeare can basically replace either of those three, and Dostoevsky could be opted out for Nabokov or Tolstoy. If you want to throw some American writers in there, Twain, Faulkner, and/or Hemingway are always good choices. Virginia Woolf was really influential, too, though you don't see much discussion about her these days. You might want to go the African-American route, too, and Ellison, Wright, Hurston, and Baldwin are top-notch.
If we're talking poetry, Shakespeare, Milton, and Dante usually top that list. However, you could mix it up and throw Yeats or Eliot (my personal favorite poet) in there. Maybe ee cummings, but I think whether he was that influential or not could be debated. There's lots of options.
Either way, Shakespeare's probably going to be in there, and the other two are up to you.
You could write in dialect, like Twain or Hurtson. That's really difficult/annoying to read, though. Like Shaharazad said, there are soft v's along with z's replacing t's (zhis would be this).
In terms of the topic at hand, the quote doesn't do much for me--I revel in this world (my sins, if you prefer) as much as I can. I really dislike the classical theist view of the world as a sort of mudhole for sinners. It really isn't as bad as it's made out to be--people aren't intrinsically evil and they aren't always sinning. They do have the capacity for good (as defined by their moral codes, but that's tricky stuff to discuss). Overall, I respect a theist who believes in God because of this world and its intrinsic beauty. That just makes more sense to me.
I define consciousness--or life, even, as the awareness of being aware (which is why, based on the information given, I believe Terri Schiavo and people with that condition weren't alive). What that means, to me, is that consciousness is literally the actions that we go about on a daily basis. So what happens when we die? Nothing. We stop being alive, and therefore we stop being conscious. Consciousness isn't the soul; it's not some immutable, intangible force. It's life. I've never heard the term Horshoe_Hermit used, but I agree strongly with his position.
Well, then you aren't really a Johnny, then are you? You're a Johnny-Spike, at the very least. I too, like to win (who doesn't?), but I'm quite fine with losing to superior skill, as opposed to just a superior deck, that they ripped from the net.
(I'm sorry if this is off-topic) A Johnny-Spike I am, but more Johnny. While I play to win, I can accept a loss and not have to be on the crutch of "my deck is original, he won by luck" or some sort of bullocks. And if I lose to a netdecker, I'm also fine with that.
Magnus Raven- many casual players are like this because they think that since their decks are "innovative" (an umbrella term housing every deck with 4 chimney imps, among other things), they can sacrafice winning for "creativity." While I am a casual player and a Johnny, I play MtG to win, whether there is a monetary prize involved or not (why yes, I do love to gloat). Many casual players also dislike spikes because believe or not, they have more skill. I can't speak for everyone, but many of the new kids who tried to win in my playgroup expect to be good just by snapping their fingers and making an offbeat prismatic affinity-hoser homelands deck, or the like. I really hate it when people think that Magic is a game you can pick up on like Yu-Gi-Oh; Magic revolves around practice and only from practice does one gain skill. I feel like I've gotten off-topic, so I'm going to stop typing now.
I dont like rap
Becouse
1.Repetitive
2.Lyrics dont empress me
3.I will admit I have fallen prey to the if its popular dont like it.
4.Rap is hypocritacle to me.
1. You obviously haven't heard enough rap
2. Neither does bad spelling. But if rap's lyrics don't impress you, something is definitely wrong. This is the genre with the best lyrics, and the most wide selection of lyricists. Rock lyrics pale in comparison to rap lyrics, but that's my opinion.
3. You're a total backpacker. That means you discriminate good music if it's popular.
4. Not only does this not make sense, but you spelled hypocritical wrong. But I'd like you to elaborate more on this one and on number 2, I'm interested in seeing why you think these 2 things. Thank you.
First line: I think the use of the word "thing" is somewhat un-lyrical. You should rack your brain and come up with a better word, even though "thing" works fine.
I like the second line a lot, though I think it would be better as "The sting and blur of my perception."
Third line: What's a twickle? I think you mean trickle.
Fourth line: Do you mean "an" instead of "and?"
Fifth line: There's one to many "an" particles.
Tenth line: This doesn't work grammatically--"I'd promised I wouldn't cry" is the correct structure.
Well, that's that. Good job. My personal favorite line is the second.
If we're talking poetry, Shakespeare, Milton, and Dante usually top that list. However, you could mix it up and throw Yeats or Eliot (my personal favorite poet) in there. Maybe ee cummings, but I think whether he was that influential or not could be debated. There's lots of options.
Either way, Shakespeare's probably going to be in there, and the other two are up to you.
That's my two cents, I guess.
Warning for necroing!
- Craven
My guess is society--that is, ourselves and the people around us.
And this is necroing.
Funny and intelligent. Good job.
In terms of the topic at hand, the quote doesn't do much for me--I revel in this world (my sins, if you prefer) as much as I can. I really dislike the classical theist view of the world as a sort of mudhole for sinners. It really isn't as bad as it's made out to be--people aren't intrinsically evil and they aren't always sinning. They do have the capacity for good (as defined by their moral codes, but that's tricky stuff to discuss). Overall, I respect a theist who believes in God because of this world and its intrinsic beauty. That just makes more sense to me.
Capitalism gets way too much flak these days. Since when is everyone a bleeding-heart socialist?
Which aspects, though?
(I'm sorry if this is off-topic) A Johnny-Spike I am, but more Johnny. While I play to win, I can accept a loss and not have to be on the crutch of "my deck is original, he won by luck" or some sort of bullocks. And if I lose to a netdecker, I'm also fine with that.
1. You obviously haven't heard enough rap
2. Neither does bad spelling. But if rap's lyrics don't impress you, something is definitely wrong. This is the genre with the best lyrics, and the most wide selection of lyricists. Rock lyrics pale in comparison to rap lyrics, but that's my opinion.
3. You're a total backpacker.
4. Not only does this not make sense, but you spelled hypocritical wrong. But I'd like you to elaborate more on this one and on number 2, I'm interested in seeing why you think these 2 things. Thank you.