MTG Salvation

You know, woman ***** about their "time of the month." Every month. Hell, every week. They ***** about it when it's happening, they ***** about how bad it was after the fact, and they ***** about how bad it's going to be before it happens. Maybe all this *****ing is why women are called *****es...

But I digress. I'm sure the pain women go through really is bad enough to warrant all the complaining, and honestly, I'm not going to hold it against you. I would even suffer through it just to be able to sympathize so when you go, "You don't know what this is like!" I can say, "Shut the **** up, I do, too." But in the scope of things, is it really that bad? I mean, consider another well known group of people that have a far worse time of month.

I'm sure you all know of who I am talking by now. These people are, of course, werewolves. Sure, you have to go through cramps and bleeding and having to clean up after yourself for a week each month, and at times it can be debilitating, but stop for a minute and think what werewolves go through. Their "time of the month" entails a complete transformation of who they are. They don't just get crankier, they become something completely different.

Now, I'm sure all you women are going to try and argue that werewolves only go through a night of this transformation. But no matter how much you want to kill someone when you're bleeding, they actually do kill people. They lose all control of who they are and ACTUALLY kill people. What do you think that does to them? The guilt and anguish you have to go through, knowing you can't stop this has to be terrible.

And don't tell me they don't deal with a ton of pain, too. Their entire body grows and becomes a, well, werewolf. The simple transformation of your bone and muscular structure is probably one of the most excruciating things a person could ever endure. Yes, even worse than childbirth. You're having your ****** stretched out. They're having their very physical make up stretched out; broken, healed, broken, and healed again just to grow a few feet and become a monster.

A woman's cycle has become an accepted part of our culture, something that must be dealt with, so you get pampered during that time, treated like a queen. Sure, that's mostly because we don't want to have to deal with the backlash, but you still get special treatment. You know what a werewolf gets? Banishment. People hate them for what they are and what they do, even though they didn't want this and don't want to kill people. They don't have a choice, and people hate them for this. They are shunned. They have to live in constant fear of everyone around them hating them.

So the next time you want to start *****ing about your "time of the month," just stop for a minute and think... is it really that bad? -Jack