MTG Salvation

Quote from MandersHex

Personally, I will never claim my wincon again. It's pointless and I will simply refuse to do it.

Just so you all know.

Quote from Seppel

Reposted for ease:

Seppel's rules for winning as scum:
1) Always believe you're town.
2) Do not jump on bad wagons.
3) Do not overreact to one vote. Don't even acknowledge it.
4) Do not overreact to two votes.
5) Be truthful in your reads.
6) Talk to your mafia team in thread, but don't bus them unless they've severely screwed up.
7) Review your posts and think, "Would I say this as town?" If not, then don't post it.
8) Kill information roles and good players first.

Quote from MandersHex

Oh, Seppel, I got you a Christmas present!

Here, open it:

Vote Seppel

Quote from Seppel

Hi Manders!

Quote from MandersHex

Hi!

What did you think about your present?

Quote from Seppel

My... present?

I didn't get anything from you. D:

When did you send it?

brb checking mail

Quote from MandersHex

Goofy, we had this discussion. I don't think Leslie or r_0 would appreciate presents exchanging.

No, your present is right here!

Quote from MandersHex

Oh, Seppel, I got you a Christmas present!

Here, open it:

Vote Seppel

You like it?

Quote from Seppel

nothing, I even double-checked the pile of presents D:

Quote from Seppel

Oh that is a terrible present.

Prepare your mouth.

Quote from Azrael

Mandershex is another of my favorite people. She's sassy, selfless, and full of heart.

Quote from kpaca

Also SA is pretty much the largest, wealthiest, highest respected and best run Islamic country on the planet, so acting an ass to them if you're Iran seems like a good way to get a regional ***** slap.

Quote from kpaca

I might start getting a boner when I eat oreos now.

Quote from Iso

Oh, guess you guys already touched ****.

Quote from Guardman

The lack of Seppel in this game will kill me. Though I fear that having Seppel in this game will lead to my death as well. Hmm... Seppel I believe you are a lifetime supply of Ice Cream.

Quote from tordeck

Oh for ****s sake Niv, cant you roleplay someone that speaks English for once.

Quote from Iso

I thought we were talking about tampons and sticks, not condoms.

Quote from Cyan

Cyan slams tordeck up against a nearby pillar. With a look that is a cross of both predator and prey, he leans in until his face is only inches away from tordeck's. "Why are you being so cagey, Tordeck? WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO HIDE FROM ME?"

Quote from Iso

Hey Cyan, was the Holocaust a cover-up for aliens landing in Germany?

Quote from Cyan

"FINALLY, SOMEONE ELSE THAT UNDERSTANDS", Cyan proclaims as he gives Iso a jovial pat on the back.

Quote from Macius

The only thing I remember about that game is that Manders was running a bus service and I was the first passenger on it.

Quote from tordeck

Im ****ingbdrunk. And have bgeen foe hrsnill deal in thuwmorn

Quote from Niv

I prefer to be refered to as Niv, as in Vote Niv. Pronouns are unnecessary in this game for me. if Niv is too long for you and would rather only have to type the two letters in he, i would like photographic proof that you are playing this game without fingers.

Quote from Niv

I'm required by the laws of the universe to post like Niv. that is not a Fake Posting restriction, but one that I have to deal with in every game I play.

Quote from Iso

Quote from SciSolaris

Iso you are my new favorite person, please make out with me.

Have you the girly parts?

Quote from MandersHex

spammin all day long
who's that on the horizon
coming to rescue?

Quote from MandersHex

Manders, but of course
Who else is brave enough to
Show Clock King the light?

Quote from MandersHex

None will stop Manders
From doing what she thinks is
Right for the people

Quote from MandersHex

Good luck to you, sir
In your endeavors next day
You will persevere.

Quote from MandersHex

Harkius, I fear
Is not worth the time it takes
To create haikus

Quote from MandersHex

Capitan is gone
Atop a high mountain peak
Observing his peeps

Quote from MandersHex

The stories I've shared
Were of a high quality
That you must have missed

Quote from MandersHex

Flamingo's a bird
Of flaming pink feathers
Thus forced to dislike.

Quote from MandersHex

The shaved pusseh tale
I provided earlier
today was pure gold

Quote from MandersHex

I bequeath of he
Who is the light of my life
To SAVE ME THESE LINKS

Quote from MandersHex

Ah, ria, my friend
Your approval of my tome
Like milk and cookies.

Quote from MandersHex

Shall I find for you
Amidst the long Great Sorrow
The shaved pusseh tale?

Quote from MandersHex

Twas also the sad tale
Of the bunny who is gone
Through no fault of mine?

Quote from MandersHex

First on the list, man
To abolish that old foe
Accursed flood control!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quote from MandersHex

Alas, my new friend
Ahead of you I will stay
For eternity

Quote from MandersHex

Arcadic, young one
Rewriting songs, regaling
Of the cousin lost

Quote from kpaca

best haiku i've ever read.

Quote from Seppel »

You've missed one quantifiable variable that she wants, that without, makes Magic so infuriating to play at times: Social value.

She has been invited to play FNM with friends.

I've had to deal with many jerks who think that playing to win is the only thing that matters in a tournament. They come in all forms. There's the kind that threaten you with disqualification if you try to answer a cell phone call from your mother. There's the kind of people that grind in MMORPGs and ostracize their supposed "friends" because their friends' characters are not optimal. I had to deal with one of them at the Alara release tournament. He had a Carrion Thrash in play and I killed another one of his creatures. He tapped two mana and put the card back in his hand:

Me: "How did you do that?"

Him: "Carrion Thrash. Finish your turn."

Me: "Wait, I don't think that's how that card works."

Him: "Whenever a creature goes to the graveyard, I can pay 2."

I lean in to look at the card, politely giving him the benefit of the doubt, even though I know he's wrong.

Me: "Are you sure that's what the card says?"

He then tosses the card at me.

Him: "Read the ******* card!"

So I read the card out loud. He immediately snatches it back from me and reads it himself, as if I was lying. He then puts the creature back from his hand to his graveyard.

Him: "Finish your turn."

Me: "I would appreciate it if you didn't swear at me in the future."

Him: "Finish your turn or I'll call you out on slow-playing."

I didn't want to make it an issue, so I finished my turn. At this point I just wanted the game to end as fast as possible. With people like him and you playing Magic, it's no wonder all my friends who attend tournaments for the social value (5 or 6 of them) have quit Magic.

Do you understand what you're telling her?

You're telling her to sit in her room, alone, grinding, and playing catch-upuntil she can make an appearance not based on her urge to be social (a natural need in normal humans), but based on the quality of her deck.

Do you understand what you're telling her to tell her friends?

"Sorry, I'm not going to visit and play with you guys because it would just be a waste of money."

Yeah.

You know who says something like that?

Social rejects.

Congratulations, social rejects, you've won the game, but you're still losers in the real world.

Quote from Ace

Ninja Edit:

Quote from mystery meat of doom

Just end all your sentences with "you know?" and "you ho".

So, someone gave me a posting restriction, you ho. All of my posts have to rhyme, you know?. I get 3 strikes a day you mod ho, after which I lose my vote for the day, you know?

Example:

Pretty sure I'll just end up not having a vote today you know, because I despise posting restrictions you ho and don't think that they have any place in the game of mafia you know?

It seems likely that the person that did this to me, you ho, is one of the people that has posted in the thread already you know? Though I suppose it's possible that someone just snuck in you know, submitted an action against me, and didn't actually post to the thread you ho.(this doesn't seem likely to me you know, but it is at least possible you ho).

Anyway. Obviously this post was Strike 1 you know. Either I'll be voteless today you ho, or, I'll post almost none you know. What an exciting choice for me, you ho.

Cyan the rapper strikes back.

Quote from ced395

Dagger, mon ami, you are malheureux, non? Why, come to France, ze land of :sunny:, unlike horrible rainy Angleterre?

Quote from Seppel

I LOVE Cyan! He is very fun to play with.

Quote from StormBlind to Cyan

There are scum tells in the way you stir your coffee.

Quote from Cyan

Even WoD is agreeing with me, sheesh.

Quote from {mikeyG}

Dear people who say I suck dick,

Yes. Yes I do. And very well. Thank you.

Sincerely,
{mikeyG}, ☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺er extraordinaire

Quote from kpaca

He wasn't lying either.

Extraordinaire.

Quote from From Ogre Mason Chat »

Quote from MH »

I'm sad Cantripmancer replaced out. I really wanted to win a bet with him.

Quote from Seppel"s Ghost »

What are you talking about, loca? Bet for what?

Quote from MH »

I want to know his real name, which he's not ready to tell me. He's decided to make me earn it. That won't happen if we don't play more games together, though.

Quote from Seppel"s Ghost »

Oh, I can tell you that. It's Brian.

Quote from MH »

How on Earth do you know that?

Quote from Seppel"s Ghost »

Because I'm Seppel and you have to believe everything I say.

Quote from Seppel

Your mom is a legit wagon to pursue.

Quote from Kraj

So I think if vez is the SK Jobie should keep it in his pants and if vez is mafia he should blow his load.

Quote from Seppel

hello hello hello


echo echo echo

Quote from Cyan

Edit: I see creampuffeater viewing this thread. I bet he doesn't post in it. Just like a mafia game!

[22:14] Cyan: you know what I really like about RL though?
[22:14] MandersHex: What's that?
[22:14] Cyan: not getting infractions for using 'retarded' as slang.

Quote from ZDS explaining how to change a custom title to Toastboy »

You go to top of page. You see big MTGS logo? You look a little below that. A little further below now. You see Post Reply? You looked to far down. You look just a little above. Damn you Toastboy, I said LITTLE! That's the URL bar! Ahem, forgive me. Look below. Keep looking below but stop before Post Reply. There, User Control Panel. It is there. You click. Now do you see column on left? You search for Edit Profile. I would guide you step by step but knowing you you must be searching through the Start menu by now. NO DON'T CLICK HERE THERE'S A MINE NOOOOOO !! I told you there was a mine, you never listen. Anyway, just keep looking for Edit Profile. You will find it at some point. No, you cannot write down "Edit Profile" in a Wordpad document. It doesn't work that way. Keep searching, I'm sure you will find it eventually.

Quote from ZeDorkSlipeur

DJ Catchem is actually the ghost of Michael Jackson. He can only move by moonwalking, forever backtracking further and further away...

Quote from Seppel

The next person to mention an ongoing game will be modkilled.

Quote from ZeDorkSlipeur

We'd better return to Amistaria before it is too late, or we'll never learn the secrets of Grim Batol. I heard it was Greek mythology's final fantasy.

Quote from InfinityAlarm

The Godfather. As I said in the thread about genres you just can't get into, I've never cared for mob movies. I found this movie to be long and boring.

Quote from PeterGriffin

It insists upon itself.

Quote from Azrael

That's a six point infraction for spam, Manders. Don't let me catch you again.

EDIT: Warning for misusing mod-text. - Azrael

EDIT EDIT: I'm considering posting in nothing but bold-red from now on. Because I can. This seems like an excellent idea and I'm sure no one would have any problem with that. Absolutely no one. - Azrael

Quote from Blinking Spirit, on why it"s okay to eat meat »

Try this instead:

A) Most animals are not participants or potential participants in human society.

B) Most animals are not self-aware.

C) Most vegetarians are so obnoxious that it gives me pleasure to eat meat out of sheer spite. OM NOM NOM

Quote from Seppel

* Seppel points and giggles at poggydude's tiny scumteam

Quote from Ace

Lies. Rhyming + Australians = win.

For example:

I love you in blue. I love you in red
but most of all. I love you in bed.

giggity.

Quote from loran16

You continue to discuss things, but seem to have come to an impasse regarding one of your number.

Finally Manders yells out "I've had enough of this" and grabs the blaster left by Captain Loran before anyone can stop him. He points the blaster at Shalako and you all wait for the sound of the blaster firing as he pulls the trigger.....

but it never comes. The blaster doesn't even make a sound. Manders takes a closer look at it only to discover that it was simply a children's toy.

"But....But...How? I saw this blaster fire a stun blast earlier!"

"And that's why we can't let you guys have nice things," says Captain Loran, suddenly standing in the door with the real blaster he fired earlier. "Not an impressive display there missus."

He walks out, bemused.

Quote from Ace

Refuse me and you refuse humanity!

CAN YOU LIVE WITH THAT SORT OF PANCAKE ON YOUR CRANIUM?

Well?

:jug::jug::jug::jug::jug::jug::jug:

roundandround
roundandround
roundandround
roundandround
roundandround

Quote from AIM Chat »

MandersHex: Since Cyan has officially retired now, lol
Weaver: Really??? The train with no brakes is RETIRED???
MandersHex: Yup. Sad day in mafia.
Weaver: LYNCH THE SCUM!
Weaver: FOS: Azreal
Weaver: For letting that happen

Quote from ZeDorkSlipeur

It's okay. It's already over in Europe, I'm posting this from a cybercafé in the second circle of Hell.

Quote from Emo_Pinata

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Quote from DYH

Ah, the fresh smell of a new game. That must mean it's time to Vote: Cya- (whispers) uhh, well that's embarrassing, what do you mean he's not here? (/whispers)

Well, OK then, let's go with another classic, Vote: Lora- (whispers) Are you serious? Jeesh.(/whispers)

YOU KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN!

Quote from DigicoolDad

If anyone knows anything about me, they would know I value two things above all else. My family, and my country. That being said...
In the name of my family and country, I am being honest about this.

Quote from Seppel

TERRORIST

Quote from Guardman

Obviously we have a Seppel Troll problem.

Quote from Cantripmancer

kpaca is...an interesting player. I first had the pleasure in my very first game of mafia, and I had a hard time seeing past what I perceived as an extreme, abrupt, egotistical nature. It took several games to realize that he just has a different playstyle, one on the opposite end of the spectrum from my own. My point is that saying that kpaca seems to be rushing is like saying that Seppel seems to be random, or that Nakamura seems to be a troll.

Quote from MandersHex

Or that Manders is cute ~and~ deadly. SAY IT!!

Quote from Cantripmancer

Or that Manders is cute ~and~ deadly.

Quote from Seppel

* Seppel cries and quits mafia forever.

Quote from FB discussion on Deathclaws from Fallout 3 and NV »

Dagger: sniper shots to the head works for me.
Manders: Tried it. Died.
Dagger: lob grenades like mad?
Manders: They're too dang fast! I get one, maybe two thrown (which do very little damage) then they're on me.
Dagger: well, dang. lower the difficulty settings? lol
Manders: Haha, I don't wanna play it on Easy! I'm trying to be a big girl
Dagger: sadist... >_>
Manders: Uh, that would make me a masochist, dear. They're the ones that enjoy receiving pain.
Dagger: the one enjoying dealing pain to oneself?
Manders: Sadists enjoy giving pain and masochists enjoy receiving it. Not sure what you'd call one that enjoys dealing pain to oneself, but probably still a masochist.

Quote from Azrael

*makes chicken noises and flaps his arms at PJ*

Quote from kpaca

I am the fullest vig.

Quote from AsianInvasion

Full of something.

Quote from kpaca

Freshness and straight dope swag.

Quote from Pale Mage

You completely ducked my question as to why you hadn't been voting JTM.

Here, hold on to this for me:

Vote: DeathJoey

Quote from Seppel

Okay yeah, I am a little impatient. But it's hard to keep it in my pants when I've just nailed him so hard.

Quote from linvala

(and wow I'm agreeing with rabbitshoes)

Quote from GI Joe

And knowing is half the battle.

Quote from poggydude

and yet, when you are in a bad mood you are still one of the nicest people on these forums...

Quote from loran16

Screw it, you're scum. Even you normally aren't this stupid/ignorant.

Quote from Seppel

You're so dreamy. But you'll never fill Cyan's shoes.

Quote from Seppel

Your points are basically something like "Iso is ignoring Roja because Roja doesn't have a vote," which isn't even true.

Iso tells you to be productive and he'll listen, and in response you say he's going to call everything you say invalid.

You ignore the part where he has the newb town thought process of "anyone who doesn't agree with me is scum."

Also you put a lot of stock in Loran's read, which currently has Iso as town. And you make Iso up to be scum because of it.

And you don't invalidate any of my arguments that show how obvtown he is. You just say one of them is suspect.

In conclusion, the game actions that you attempted to perform do not comply with my perceived notion of best practices to execute within this game of forum-based mafia.

Quote from Seppel

YOU HAVE NOT YET APPEASED SEPPEL

DID YOU LIGHT THE INCENSE BEFORE YOUR GOOD NIGHT RITUAL TO SEPPEL?

HAVE YOU TREKKED UP SEPPEL MOUNTAIN TO BEG THE SEPPEL GURU FOR FORGIVENESS?

IN WHAT ORDER DID YOU BURN YOUR LINKIN PARK CDs?

Quote from ZeDorkSlipeur

I understand, Macius. You are a clever one. You are feeding the babies because they are not fat enough to be eaten yet, right?

In that case, welcome home.

Quote from Seppel

GOOD NIGHT AND YOU'RE WELCOME

Quote from Yanni

AND ALL THE CHILDREN SNUGGLED IN BED WHILST VISIONS OF SEPPEL DANCED IN THERE HEADS

Quote from Seppel

AND THEN THE NEXT MORNING I HAD AN AWKWARD CONVERSATION WITH THE POLICE

Quote from Sir Mu

Not just every gimmick, Yanni. Every poster except for you. Azrael is Manders. I am Manders, Derpsmith is Manders. This entire forum is one giant result of Manders talking to Manders through gimmicks, pretending to be everyone.

I feel like I can say this because you won't believe me.

Quote from Artifice 101

Agreed. Nixon all the way: "I am not a scum *waves peace signs with jowls swinging*"

Quote from Pale Mage

Who are you killing tonight, btw?

Quote from Seppel

Your mom, softly.

Quote from Pale Mage

Hawt.

Quote from Seppel

"Sorta miller" means "lynch me I have too many dongs in my mouth to handle it"

Quote from Seppel

Add up the replacements and spectators and you have 55 interested people.

Quote from Seppel

During Hurricane Irene earlier this year, our power went out, so we played D&D 2e. We also drank heavily.

Niko GM'd and somehow we all agreed to play a Jurassic Park scenario. Callista was a Pirate who was there to pillage dinosaur artifacts, Soap was a Jew who was there for lucrative business deals, and I was a Bear whose old rich owner misunderstood me roaring "I'm hungry" for "I want to go to Jurassic Park," so he paid millions to have me sent there.

It took us two hours of roleplaying just to get from the beach into electric cars that took us to the visitors' center. The Jew was looking for money everywhere and arguing with the Pirate about who was going to drive. The Bear got frightened due to the automaticaly moving electric cars, leaving two cars destroyed, covered in blood and piss.

Niko awarded us 40 experience points for making it to the visitors' center. We needed 8,000 to level up.

I was already down to half my HP, and we were too drunk to continue.

The end.

Quote from kpaca

Yeah but I obviously am more sure about my guy than yours. Want to make a classic kpaca lynch deal?

Quote from Seppel

I'm not prepared to go all the way on a first date.

Quote from kpaca

Unless I let you do me of course.

Quote from Seppel

I'm not one to top from the bottom.

Quote from kpaca

OFC that could just be me sucking Seppel's ding a ling though.

Quote from Seppel

What is this sudden feeling

Quote from Seppel

Unvote, vote Brinatoo.

Blowjays are my weakness.

Quote from kpaca

It's the long lost love you felt for me in Inheritance mafia.

Quote from Seppel

I was just a little girl back then.

Quote from Seppel

Unvote, vote Seppel.

That's L-2, claim.

Quote from Seppel

Did you vote me to get me to claim, or because you actually think I'm scum?

Quote from Seppel

This wagon coupled with your bad play just makes it obvious.

Quote from Seppel

That is such a cop-out. You don't have any reasoning. According to you, you haven't even read the thread!

Quote from Seppel

You're playing pretty aggressively now that you're at L-2. Why haven't we seen that before? Maybe you are telling the truth.

Unvote.

Quote from Seppel

wat

WAT

You vote me, then when pressed for reasons, all you can give is "oh, those other people said stuff," and now you back out in the worst way imaginable.

Unvote, vote Seppel.

This guy is scum.

Quote from Seppel

That is not what I was saying at all. Nice OMGUS vote.

Vote Seppel.

That's L-1. Someone hammer.

Quote from Blutsau

I have eight inches

1. [Basic #12] Normalville Town Vanilla - Endgamed
2. [Mini] Indiana Jones Mafia Colonel Dietrich - Vanilla with Ark of the Covenant - Endgamed
3. [Basic # 17] Demonata Mafia Artery, Demon - Endgamed
4. [The Family] Mafia Creampuffeater, Mafia One-Shot Tracker - Lynched D1 / Nightkilled N1
5. [Basic #23] 5CB Mafia Foil, Town Vanilla - Nightkilled N1
6. [Mini] Red Dwarf Mafia The Epideme Virus, Town Janitor - Lynched D1
7. [Mini] Team Fortress 2 Mafia - The Red Soldier (carrying the "Buff Banner") - Lynched D1
8. [PCQ] Ogre Mafia Hargnen Gra'vnark, Warrior, Town Thick-skinned Clumsy Blood Bond Brother - Nightkilled N5
9. [FTQ] Hecatea Mafia The Seer - Town Cop - Endgamed
10. [Normal] Return to Amistaria Mafia Jason - Rebel Diviner - Endgamed
11. [Basic #40] Stick It Mafia (as LairyFights) Burt Vickerman (Sympathizer Coach) - Nightkilled N3
12. [Basic #44] Super Mario World Mafia (as George Washington) Yellow Yoshi-Mafia Goon - Endgamed
13. [FTQ] Cyan's Impossible Mafia: Cyan's Pick Cyan - Town Impossible-Perma-Roleblocker - Modkilled Day 1
14. [Basic #60] Cirque du Freak Mafia - Murlough - Town Vanilla - Engamed - TOWN CO-MVP

1. [Normal] Joss Whedon Mafia Saffron, Untargetable Goon - Lynched D3
2. [Basic #14] Left 4 Dead The Witch, Town Retaliator - Nightkilled N1
3. [Mini] Canada Mafia (r) VIKINGS, Mafia Berserker - Lynched D4
4. [Normal] Anita Blake Mafia 2 Claudia, Town Bodyguard - Endgamed
5. [Mini] Higlander Mafia Trance Gemini, Town Cop - Nightkilled N2
6. [Basic #29] 2011 Magic Mafia Cyclops Gladiator, Town One-Shot Vig - Endgamed
7. [Specialty] Doha Mafia - Politician Light Wounds Doctor/Partner - Nightkilled N1
8. [FTQ] Gabriel High School Mafia Luciano Capone - Mafia member - Lynched D1
9. [Mini] Arithmetic Mafia (r) Town - Nightkilled N2
10. [Mini] Too Much Scum Mafia II - Wraith Squadron Style Town Cop - Endgamed
11. Mod Mafia 2 MandersHex - Town Cop - Banned N2
12. [Basic #42] Iji Mafia Tor, Town Komato (Vanilla) - Nightkilled N2
13. [FTQ] Hetalia Mafia United States - Nightkilled N2
14. [Basic #49] Avatar: The Last Airbender Mafia Azula, Mafia Goon - Lynched D1
15. [Normal] Flame Warriors Mafia Conductor Cat, Town Lurker - Nightkilled N3