MTG Salvation

Quote from sadgasm

I can hear my neighbor having sex. So I shouted: "Get It! Make Her Squeal"!

Quote from Gaka

Finish Him!

Quote from Phil

It's in the rumor mill. I'd link you to the thread, but that would be like pointing someone who asked for a glass of water in the direction of a typhoon. I'll let your own morbid curiosity do you in.

If these card are true, I will have truly lost all faith in RD's ability.

Guy-"Durrrr what do you want to make next?"
Chad- "ummm lets make mana drain again!"
Biff- "but blue green! I has mimeoplasm edh"
Maro- *head spins 360 degrees* ETBETBETBETB
All- "he likes it! He likes it!"

Quote from cryogen

*slowclap*

Truly the best thing I've read today. You deserve a cookie.

Edit: Because I hate myself, I found the thread in question.

Quote from Realize

the spirit of edh

Quote from AzureShadow

RED ALERT. RED ALERT. ALL UNITS REPORT TO SECTOR 9980490 FOR IMMEDIATE EVACUATION. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

Quote from cryogen

Comment from Jivan in 5... 4... 3... 2...

Quote from Jivanmukta

I have been summoned.

Quote from cryogen

Look, I'm not fatty. You can stop following me around.

Quote from Jivanmukta

I saw the thread but didn't feel like posting. When I saw my minion called for me I decided to show myself.

Quote from cryogen

Wait, how did I end up your minion? Shouldn't it be the other way around?

Quote from Jivanmukta

Your delusions are absolutely adorable.

Quote from Darcykun

Confirmed: Ted's boss is God.

I'ma start calling you Gabriel or some ****

Quote from Ted

I was going to be called Gabriel believe it or not.

Quote from Scott

I suggested Gabriel for my son, but my girl didn't bite.

Quote from Galspanic

You guys turned the name Gabriel into something to talk about?! What the hell is wrong with you?

Quote from cryogen

You're just now asking that about us?

Quote from Dechs Kaison

Tears are best when consumed immediately. They seem to go stale when you bottle them for long. No where near as refreshing.

Quote from Galspanic

So the opposite of :grumpy:. I feel I can play the same game I always have and have liberated my nerd expenses. I now can buy tattoos, expensive hotel stays, and vasectomies with the money I used to buy cards with.

Quote from therestless

The way you just pluralized vasectomy worries me.

Quote from asteriskreaper

worry my ass, terrifies me.

Quote from u-579

I think that I'm just going to walk away slowly now

Quote from (cryogen)

I was wondering about that one too.

Quote from Phil

Galspanic is a hentai tentacle monster so it's perfectly normal.

Quote from Ted Elderhi

Admittedly, screaming out "I UNLEASH THE CHAINWALKER!" turns me on a little.

Quote from Jivanmukta

Only a little?

Quote from Ted Elderhi

Fiiiiiiiiiine, to much for my own goods.

Sticks and stones may break my bones......

Quote from Jivanmukta

...but chains will never cease to bring about the most primitive of sexual howls from me.

Yes yes, I know the phrase well.

Quote from Ted Elderhi

Howl primitively at me, Jvian. Howl for me.

Quote from Jivanmukta

No.

Quote from Scott

I think you need a hug.

Quote from Jivanmukta

No.

Quote from Scott

Yeeeeeeeeees.

Quote from Jivanmukta

That cat is not a "yes" cat.

Quote from Scott

Looks like a yes cat to me.

- Yes.

Quote from Phil

Yes cat is grumpy

Quote from Weebo

Went for years without getting sick.

Sick for the second time in as many months. Damn munchkins.

Quote from Donald

You didn't eat any of that Chlamydia candy did you?

Quote from Weebo

I tried to restrain myself, but it looked so good.

Quote from Bismuth Von Pherson

Agreed, for the most part. I still think Gisela stays in charge for me, but Aurelia joins the 99 for both power and flavor reasons. I can't resist sexy angry angels :p.

Quote from (cryogen)

You forgot 'casual format'.

Quote from Jivanmukta

Those words fill me with rage.

Quote from Dechs Kaison

Are we talking a casual rage or more of the competitive kind?

Quote from Jivanmukta

I.....ugh. I hate you.

Quote from (cryogen)

Then my work here is done.

Quote from Jivanmukta

I'm feeling a little hate here. Do we need to sit and have a heart to heart chat? I can be a very warm person.

Quote from The Dead Weatherman

You wanna take it outside?

'Cuz we can take it outside.

I'm all about takin' it outside.

Quote from The Dead Weatherman

I hate Jivaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnn.

Quote from Gaka

I thought this thread was bad. I was wrong.

Oh god, I was wrong.

Quote from The Dead Weatherman

I will enjoy watching this forum destroy you from the inside out.

Out of spite.

Quote from Blackjack68

Dralnu if you want max combo potential, Thrax for tribal beatdown or anything else. Sedris stays on the porch and watches the big dogs play.

Quote from Blackjack68

I just meant that Thrax is a really good commander, but the best support cards for him aren't really zoms. To get the most out of him takes a different approach. I maybe shouldn't have used the word "terrible", just not optimal.

And of course it's just my personal opinion, but I think Geth is the way to go for zombie tribal. Built with a "big mana" approach it can be pretty strong, especially if you tiptoe outside the bounds of tribal just a bit.

I wasn't saying it can't be done or anything, just that it'll be a bit tougher to come out with a strong deck. I'm all for trying different approaches. I used to run a UB zombie tribal with Dralnu, Lich Lord as the commander. It was fun but just couldn't stand up against the stronger decks.

Quote from metalevolence

OH WHAT NOW

AND YOU THOUGHT YOU'D GET AWAY WITH IT TOO

NOT TODAY, YOU FLIP-FLOPPING SWINE

Quote from Büge

Ha! Four out of the five generals I use are females: Teysa, Glissa, Radha, and Zedruu. My other general is Lorthos and--

My god... I just realized I created the setup for a tentacle hentai.

Quote from Xcric

with a bit of beastiality thrown in!

Quote from Jherek

I don't always drink the tears of my opponents. But when I do, I prefer Kahlua of the Vast. :3

Quote from Massive Marc

I have a off topic question for you Kaalia players. Why is she currently $8~ and by far the most expensive Commander out of the precons ? Looking for an answer outside of "She good"

Thanks in advance !

Quote from Sanity"s_Eclipse

Could be flavor. I mean, three huge tribes and a hot Timmy commander rolled into one sexy package is something I'd spend $8 on

I have doubts that she sees Vint/Leg play, so maybe it's 60/4 MtG too.

Also, "She good".

Quote from Khaospawn

She's the "go to" Commander for people new to the format. She's in powerful colors (RBW), let's you play big creatures, and is simple to understand. She's also pretty sexy.

What? Don't tell me none of you here have ever thought she was kinda sexy in a Goth-rock kinda way!

Quote from 3drinks

She's the most popular, and sought after commander of the five decks. A lot of people like her.

(Khaospawn post)

Hey now, get out of my head. no one needs to know that I'd knock the bottom out of--

Wait, I didn't say anything and you can't prove it.

Quote from Khaospawn

I may be crossing the line, but Kaalia seems like the kinda chick that would ride you really hard and hit you while hissing, "Say my name! Scream it!"

<_<

>_>

I'm just saying.

Quote from 3drinks

I'd certainly book it. Sounds like a helluva good time to me. >_<

Quote from blueram

Aside from all of the Timmy reasons, story-wise she's the only one of the fifteen commanders who got a nice, hard back story on DailyMTG. So at the very least, there's a certain flavor to her that the others don't have.

(3drink's 1st post)

Except for, you know, the whole text thing.

Quote from Khaospawn

I believe you have to make 1,000 posts before you can change it. At 500 post you become a Wizard Mentor, and then at 700-800 it's Archmage (I think). After that, it's custom.

I dunno what I'd pick. It'd have to be something sleazy though. Like, um, "Kaalia's Personal Sex Toy" or something....

I have many posts to make until I can change my tag, so I'm open to suggestions in the meantime.

Quote from Eriol

You said it, not me!

Quote from 3drinks

If you use personal sex toy, that seems close to my own. >_>

Maybe "official Sponsour of the Drink Kahlua of the Vast" <_>

Quote from blueram

*eye twitch*

Must...not...debate...head canon...

Quote from Weebo

Chlamydia AND candy. A winning combination!

Quote from Philonous

When the standard forums say something like "guys, this isn't the edh board, so lets not start *****ing about a card and wanting it banned, ok?" Then you know there's too many full diapers and sandy privates around here.

Quote from Jack_from_NC

Phelldagrif and I have yet to do battle on the ninth circle of hell as well. But when we do, I will consume it's soul and sing the song that ends the earth.

Quote from 3drinks

As much of a risk-taker as I am when playing(and I mean it, I'll run Bob, Crypt, Arena out there at the same time XD) I'm not sold on Final Fortune/Warrior's Oath/Last Chance because that might just be a little too risque, even for my taste.

Quote from Philonous

I kind of noticed something and it made me think. This thread usual sits on the top of the board.

It's like we're in some huge wizard tower and we look down at the other wizards, arguing over mundane, trival things. We simply roll our eyes and shake our heads then return to our more intellectual pursuits; deep frying squirrels.

Quote from DramaTurtle

There should be thread descriptions right under each sticky, and this should be ours.

Quote from Galspanic

I saw one of those idiotic Yahoo stories today about getting ready for the election in style and I thought "Huh, I wonder what election they're talking about...." The fact that the presidential election is less than 2 months away didn't occur to me until hours later while I was sitting at McDonalds watching a family of hillbears wearing non-ironic camouflage talking about it.

Quote from Woohah

Let me tell you something, if they demographed every Nielsen household that watches Toddlers and Tiaras, Chris Hansen would have so much work he'd be able to sell Donald Trump into slavery.

Quote from Riley

It's because Gaka is SO BAD at Magic, everyone sees Geist as Casper the Failure Ghost.

COME AT ME

Quote from Gaka

Oh I hope a bucketful of kittens devours your left testicle.

Quote from Jester831

Well then, that escalated quickly.

Quote from Zimagic

Luckily then that two of those 3 dragons were mommy dragons and the last was a daddy dragon. You see when a daddy dragon and a mommy dragon love each other very, very much.....

Quote from nightwyrm

So Niv-Mizzet was getting busy with Hunted Dragon and Rakdos Pit Dragon?

You just blew my mind.

Quote from Jivanmukta

I always thought of Niv as a voyeuristic dragon.

Quote from Gaka

I pride myself on my exactitude. As you'll see from this letter, I provide copious detail and try to be as precise as possible when describing the ways in which we must respect each other and learn to live together in peace. To plunge right into it, someone has been giving Sanity 's Eclipse's brain a very thorough washing, and now Sanity is trying to do the same to us. Pardon my coarse language, but everyone ought to read my award-winning essay, "The Naked Aggression of Sanity 's Eclipse". In it, I chronicle all of Sanity's opuscula from the infantile to the immature and conclude that Sanity likes saying that rummy know-it-alls make the best scoutmasters and schoolteachers. Okay, that's a parody—but not a very gross one. In point of fact, I'm convinced that Sanity will beat plowshares into swords in the near future. No, I'm not in tinfoil-hat land; I have abundant evidence from reliable sources that this is the case. For instance, after hearing about Sanity's obstreperous attempts to perpetuate the nonsense known technically as the analytic/synthetic dichotomy, I was saddened. I was saddened that he has lowered himself to this level.

Sanity, already oppressive with his drugged-out, annoying taradiddles, will perhaps be the ultimate exterminator of our human species—if separate species we be—for his reserve of unguessed horrors could never be borne by mortal brains if loosed upon the world. If you think that that's a frightening thought then consider that I am deliberately using colorful language in this letter. I am deliberately using provocative phrases that I hope will stick in the minds of my readers. I do ensure, however, that my words are always appropriate and accurate and clearly explain how there are many roads leading to the defeat of Sanity's plans to annihilate a person's personality, individuality, will, and character. I myself truly contend that all of these roads must eventually pass through the same set of gates: the ability to unite rich and poor, young and old. The take-away message of this letter is that Sanity 's Eclipse's jibes will send us to Hell in a handbasket sometime soon. We should hold these words to our bosom, use them as a shield against Sanity's inequities, and wield them unilaterally against those who would preach fear and ignorance.

Quote from Jack_from_NC

Pheldagriff.

You read that correctly.

I hate this card. I hate it with every fiber of my being. Were I to write the word "HATE" on grains of sand, the largest desert in the world composed of such sand couldn't contain all the rage I have for that card.
I want to take every copy and burn them. Then take the ashes and spread them into the darkest part of space.
Then I want to perfect time travel, and go to the point of history in which whatever asinine designer thought creating this travesty was a good idea. I want to meet them, and slap them in the face as hard as I can while wearing a Hippo suit with wings. So they're too traumatized to dare create the card, effectively blanking Pheldagriff from history.

Then I want to travel to hell, and fight Pheldagriff's physical manifestation in one-on-one hand-to-hand combat. When I rip out it's still-beating heart and take a bite, it's blood trailing down my chin as I let out a primal growl, only then will I know peace.

Quote from Killane

Why?

Quote from LordRewind

Some men just want to watch the hippo burn.

Quote from Unskilled Ninja

Magic the Gathering: Where plant matter animating a decayed skull is the cutest thing since toxic robot suicide bombers.

Quote from Jivanmukta

Jace as a character is FINE. Jace as a marketing tool is terrible. It's like Urza wearing a Pepsi backpack.

Quote from Serpos of Urug

He even hooked up with the creepy generic blowup doll (Liliana).

Quote from Vaclav

To be fair, "he" has been wearing tons of loose clothing for a long while now, and TONS of makeup (or whatever the runes count as)!

Quote from Benny84

"He" was also in a sexual relationship with Liliana for some time...


****, that's hot.

Quote from Aircalibur

I think the next set should be a return to New Phyrexia, where Nicol Bolas invades and takes it over in the name of Lorwyn. I would love to see a reprint of Elesh Norn as her price is getting ridiculous.

Quote from Boreez

Dear god by all that's good and holy no.

Quote from WoodWraith

They left out the part where Yawgmoth is resurrected,but has been cleansed as Yawgmoth the Redeemed,and now must awaken Chromium so that Karn can fuse with him and create what can only be known as : the ultimate taco.

Quote from 3drinks

I've always pronounced her name as "Kay-Lee-Ah" so now I can pronounce her name properly. Of course, not to be confused by the drink, Kahlua. >_______>

Quote from Khaospawn

Man, if your goal was to make me thirsty for a massive White Russian, you succeeded. Mmmmm....Kahlua of the Vast.....

Quote from Wretchedest

Lol if she appeared in every set now trying to check out moons... thats the kind of trolling from wizards i could get down with. Sort of a wheres waldo with a lost japanese planeswalker.

Quote from necrogenesis

Also, for future reference, what's the etiquette for politely calling that out. "Please don't touch my cards with your herpes covered hands?"

Quote from Sanity"s_Eclipse

...Oh. I actually like the Future Sight version more. Sure, this version is a lot more elegant, but...

Although I must admit I LOL'D at the dude who was complaining about the peeps kissing in the new Arbor art. Creepy women trees like to watch...and then brutally murder you in your sleep for defiling the forest with your sex juices. Ahahaha

Quote from Saiko

Some people have too much time on their hands..... like my freind jake... who is currently in a relationship with Drana....



the following conversation ensued....




i literaly rofl'd... thought u guys might like it too

Quote from kraus911

This is hilarious. I've seen Kaalia and Jenara in this role. How many male Magic players married angry flying women?...*snip*

Quote from Jack_from_NC

Sir, you clearly have never had to face Hell's Hippo. Had you ever experienced the misfortune of being across from the purple menace, your spine would have tingled at it's very mention. Pheldagrif is what you get when Hitler gets a little tipsy and decides to go to the zoo for a threesome in the hippo cage with a cockatoo.
Pheldagrif isn't just a "group hug" deck, or "combo" deck-it's hell itself working its way into the purest, most nubile and noble format of MTG. Every time the hippo wins, satan laughs and an innocent child is scooped into a van with promises of candy.

That's what's wrong with Pheldagrif. Everything.

Quote from Sanity"s_Eclipse

To quote someone in his Mill thread:

Odric, Master Tactician says -> "Exalted? The hell with that."

Lol

Quote from Mad Mat

Also, saying Islam hasn't changed for thousands of years (neither religion has actually existed for more than 2000 years, but anyway) is identical to saying Christianity hasn't changed for thousands of years. History academics might actually murder you for that.

Quote from KaristaDispel

Since Tamiyo mise well be Liliana's new love interest, at least in my build, I know I'll have both of them in the same deck. Now all we need is a Steve Argyle art where Liliana is touching Tamiyo suggestively.

And yes, Darkonekosuke, Liliana will good game Tamiyo at least once.

Quote from luminum can

Knowing Steve, this will be inevitable.

Quote from Barinellos

I seem to recall reading somewhere that Rofellos was homosexual, but I have no idea where I got that honestly.

Quote from NightfallGemini

possibly from anyone who's ever had to play against him ever.

also, could be theorized from his card art.

Quote from Raguel

I'd still say Azusa is not nearly as dangerous as Rofelarious. Land destruction puts you in more of a hole, she's slightly more expensive, and because of that less explosive. Turn 3 with the Forest baron elf gives you six mana, while with Azusa you're left with two untapped lands (assuming you have no sol rings or the like).

Rofellos, Lumber Baron offers as much mana just by dropping one forest per turn. This means you don't need to keep your hand full of mana for those first few tempo accelerated turns. I play with Azusa. You just run out of mana to play. Rofellos gives you more option at a steady 1 mana per turn play. Plus if you're playing tribal elves, 6 mana on turn 3 can just be devastating.

Quote from tedv

It is ironic that Kokusho is considered a stronger card than both Rofellos and Braids, Cabal Minion. Those two cards are banned as generals but at least they can go in your deck. A mono-green mana doubler for 2 mana and the general version of smokestack are somehow outclassed by a 5/5 flier with a 5 point exsanguinate attached? Something is VERY wrong with this picture.

Quote from Rico Suave

Yawgmoth's Will is like a big set of knockers.

It isn't going to make a fat cow become suddenly attractive.

But if the girl is already hot, then a big set of knockers makes her even better.

Maybe the problem is your 6-10 mana spells make a giant, fat, ugly cow.