In a multiplayer set where Ravnica is slowly being consumed by a black hole:
Glance Off the Event Horizon 4WU
Sorcery {R}
Target opponent takes an extra turn after this one, then you take an extra turn.
[Azorius watermark] The appearance of the singularity caused the archons' magic to behave unpredictably.
IIW: Flavor text – "Perhaps today is a good day to die!"
Another One Bites the Dust4BG
Sorcery {R}
Target creature gets -3/-3 until end of turn.
If you control more creatures than each opponent, you may have target creature you control fight another target creature.
If you have more life than each opponent, you may destroy target creature. "There are plenty of ways you can hurt a man, and bring him to the ground.
You can beat him, you can cheat him, you can treat him bad, and leave him when he's down…"
AntiPox: I don't get the joke or reference here, but this has memory issues.
Legend: I like the flavor. I'm not sure how the artifact can be the source of the damage when it's been destroyed.
Mergatroid_Jones: I like this. I don't think the drawback is really necessary.
picnic_bomber: I think this is too powerful and unfun in so many ways. WotC has said they don't like cards that permanently reveal most of the hidden information in the game (like players' hands).
Hepatre, Guerrilla Tactician 2UR
Legendary Creature - Human Wizard {MR}
Whenever another ability of an attacking creature you control is triggered, you may pay UR. If you do, copy that ability. You may choose new targets for the copy.
3/3 "Compleat this, Phyrexian scum."
Hepatre's Mirrored Breastplate 4
Artifact - Equipment {R}
Equip 2
Equipped creature has "Whenever this creature attacks, you may pay 2R. If you do, create a token that's a copy of it, tapped and attacking. Exile that token at the beginning of the end step."
Legend: So simple and so useful. I am actually surprised some version of this hasn’t been printed already.
Am Shegar: This is such a cool top-down design, but it’s actually way too complex, which I think you’ll see if you template it out the way Wizards would. The second ability in particular has memory issues (different creatures that either do/don’t have vigilance/trample). I think the card would end up saying:
Mana doesn’t empty from your mana pool as steps and phases end.
Whenever you lose life, empty your mana pool.
Whenever a creature enters the battlefield under your control, put a youth counter on it.
Creatures with Youth counters on them have vigilance and trample.
Whenever a creature you control dies, remove all youth counters from creatures you control.
That’s too many abilities, so you’d need to pick one or the other. But this is a really cool idea.
picnic_bomber: Nice and deceptively flavorful. (I prevent your damage but I also “forgive” you by uncapping your guys.) I think the cantripping might make this too powerful, since WotC has been hesitant to feed turbofog players lately. (Much as I totally am one.)
Mergatroid_jones: This is a fun concept, though the wording is weird on the first ability, and I don’t think it really works since damage is not on the stack anymore.
Winner: Legend
Next: Vehicles with poison counters (no other types of counters)
Tochi-Kui the World-EaterGG
Legendary Creature - Spirit Hydra {MR}
As Tochi-Kui enters the battlefield, you may sacrifice any number of lands. If you do, it enters the battlefield with three times that number of +1/+1 counters on it.
0/0
(A Kamigawa spirit because low CMC makes it work exceptionally well with Soulshift.)
Curse of Desolation1R
Enchantment - Aura Curse {U}
Enchant opponent
Whenever enchanted opponent controls one creature, if that creature dies, Curse of Desolation deals 5 damage to enchanted opponent. "We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone." -Orson Welles
Supernova2RW
Instant {U}
Put three time counters on each creature you control. Those creatures get +1/+1 for each time counter on them and gain vanishing. (At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a time counter from each of them. When the last is removed, sacrifice that creature. These effects are permanent.)
IIW: Gerund card names (card names ending in -ing)
Punctuate Equilibrium2WR
Sorcery {R}
Search your library and graveyard for five aura cards with different names and exile them, then shuffle your library. If you exiled five cards, choose one at random and put it onto the battlefield attached to target creature. Put the remaining exiled cards into your graveyard. Every few hundred millennia, evolution leaps forward.
Invoke the Guildpact: I had a lot of trouble figuring out the possible mana costs for this card. I also don't know why someone playing a deck with so many colors would want to exile and lock out multicolored permanents.
Rofellos' Summer Vacation: This is fun, but I don't see why the retreat is a token instead of just an enchantment (beyond the conditions of the challenge, obviously).
Gateway to Evreile: This is cool. Reminds me of Zendikar. Super flavorful.
He Who Remembers: Fits right in with the wacky-but-great white Johnny cards (like Seance). I don't think you needed to make it a keyword, since this seems like it's only going to show up on a handful of cards.
Dovan's Refactoring: This can duplicate Theros gods, which I think is not your intention. There's a lot of text on here for what boils down to a clone effect with upside.
It's super close between Mergatroid_Jones and ManyCookies. But I want to play with Gateway to Evreile right this instant, so I think that pushes it over the top. Mergatroid wins.
Spirit Tannery2G
Enchantment {R}
Whenever a Beast creature you control would die, you may pay 2G. If you do, exile that creature instead and create a Spirit Leather aura enchantment token with "Enchant creature you control" and "Enchanted creature gets +3/+3 and has trample." The story of a beast's ferocity and will to survive can be read in its hide.
IIW: Something that creates a legendary noncreature token.
Glance Off the Event Horizon 4WU
Sorcery {R}
Target opponent takes an extra turn after this one, then you take an extra turn.
[Azorius watermark]
The appearance of the singularity caused the archons' magic to behave unpredictably.
IIW: Flavor text – "Perhaps today is a good day to die!"
Sorcery {R}
Target creature gets -3/-3 until end of turn.
If you control more creatures than each opponent, you may have target creature you control fight another target creature.
If you have more life than each opponent, you may destroy target creature.
"There are plenty of ways you can hurt a man, and bring him to the ground.
You can beat him, you can cheat him, you can treat him bad, and leave him when he's down…"
IIW: Soulbond
Legend: I like the flavor. I'm not sure how the artifact can be the source of the damage when it's been destroyed.
Mergatroid_Jones: I like this. I don't think the drawback is really necessary.
picnic_bomber: I think this is too powerful and unfun in so many ways. WotC has said they don't like cards that permanently reveal most of the hidden information in the game (like players' hands).
Winner: Legend, HM: Mergatroid_Jones
Next: pop 80's top 40 song titles as card names
Legendary Creature - Human Wizard {MR}
Whenever another ability of an attacking creature you control is triggered, you may pay UR. If you do, copy that ability. You may choose new targets for the copy.
3/3
"Compleat this, Phyrexian scum."
Hepatre's Mirrored Breastplate 4
Artifact - Equipment {R}
Equip 2
Equipped creature has "Whenever this creature attacks, you may pay 2R. If you do, create a token that's a copy of it, tapped and attacking. Exile that token at the beginning of the end step."
IIW: Hacking (any definition you like)
Legend: So simple and so useful. I am actually surprised some version of this hasn’t been printed already.
Am Shegar: This is such a cool top-down design, but it’s actually way too complex, which I think you’ll see if you template it out the way Wizards would. The second ability in particular has memory issues (different creatures that either do/don’t have vigilance/trample). I think the card would end up saying:
Mana doesn’t empty from your mana pool as steps and phases end.
Whenever you lose life, empty your mana pool.
Whenever a creature enters the battlefield under your control, put a youth counter on it.
Creatures with Youth counters on them have vigilance and trample.
Whenever a creature you control dies, remove all youth counters from creatures you control.
That’s too many abilities, so you’d need to pick one or the other. But this is a really cool idea.
picnic_bomber: Nice and deceptively flavorful. (I prevent your damage but I also “forgive” you by uncapping your guys.) I think the cantripping might make this too powerful, since WotC has been hesitant to feed turbofog players lately. (Much as I totally am one.)
Mergatroid_jones: This is a fun concept, though the wording is weird on the first ability, and I don’t think it really works since damage is not on the stack anymore.
Winner: Legend
Next: Vehicles with poison counters (no other types of counters)
Legendary Creature - Spirit Hydra {MR}
As Tochi-Kui enters the battlefield, you may sacrifice any number of lands. If you do, it enters the battlefield with three times that number of +1/+1 counters on it.
0/0
(A Kamigawa spirit because low CMC makes it work exceptionally well with Soulshift.)
IIW: An inspiring song.
Artifact – Equipment {U}
Equip 1
1, tap an untapped artifact you control: Untap equipped creature.
"What does 3704556 mean?"
IIW: A suspicious bakery
Enchantment - Aura Curse {U}
Enchant opponent
Whenever enchanted opponent controls one creature, if that creature dies, Curse of Desolation deals 5 damage to enchanted opponent.
"We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone." -Orson Welles
A hoser for a fantasy world where Avacyn Restored's "loner" mechanic was super overpowered.
IIW: Kithkin
Instant {U}
Put three time counters on each creature you control. Those creatures get +1/+1 for each time counter on them and gain vanishing. (At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a time counter from each of them. When the last is removed, sacrifice that creature. These effects are permanent.)
IIW: Gerund card names (card names ending in -ing)
Next: a card with Kamigawa's Sweep mechanic
Sorcery {R}
Search your library and graveyard for five aura cards with different names and exile them, then shuffle your library. If you exiled five cards, choose one at random and put it onto the battlefield attached to target creature. Put the remaining exiled cards into your graveyard.
Every few hundred millennia, evolution leaps forward.
Name is a reference to this theory in evolutionary biology: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Punctuated_equilibrium
IIW: Insects
Rofellos' Summer Vacation: This is fun, but I don't see why the retreat is a token instead of just an enchantment (beyond the conditions of the challenge, obviously).
Gateway to Evreile: This is cool. Reminds me of Zendikar. Super flavorful.
He Who Remembers: Fits right in with the wacky-but-great white Johnny cards (like Seance). I don't think you needed to make it a keyword, since this seems like it's only going to show up on a handful of cards.
Dovan's Refactoring: This can duplicate Theros gods, which I think is not your intention. There's a lot of text on here for what boils down to a clone effect with upside.
It's super close between Mergatroid_Jones and ManyCookies. But I want to play with Gateway to Evreile right this instant, so I think that pushes it over the top. Mergatroid wins.
Next: Jank mythics
Enchantment {R}
Whenever a Beast creature you control would die, you may pay 2G. If you do, exile that creature instead and create a Spirit Leather aura enchantment token with "Enchant creature you control" and "Enchanted creature gets +3/+3 and has trample."
The story of a beast's ferocity and will to survive can be read in its hide.
IIW: Something that creates a legendary noncreature token.