Awesome report, man! Very entertaining and informative.
I was the Teeg player from Round 5, and although I definitely misplayed like a beast during game 3 (like you said), I don't think any of it mattered -- it was the turn 3 Braids on the play with Edict backup that killed me. I couldn't hit 3 mana for Squirrel Nest to save my life
Well played, sir! Looking forward to more tournament reports in the future.
Transmogrifying Wand is good removal. Not being instant speed probably keeps it from being too potent.
Only a small set of games, but the deck is much more oppressive than I expected. I thought it would force people to play fair, but instead they eventually didn't play at all. Gotta make sure I stay mindful of the group's attitude to avoid causing any bitterness.
Edit:
Two more games, and these were closer to expectation. One was a long 6-player slog that I managed to finally end with a timely Armageddon plus red zone beats; the game concluded about 90 seconds later. The second game featured a group hug deck, but honestly between the two of us it turned out to be a "normal" game of Magic after all, with the Karador and Mizzix players forced to play one or two spells per turn. I lost by a single point of damage from an opponent's zombie horde -- that's more like it!
Benevolent Bodyguard looks good, I went ahead and got my hands on one.
I'm not sold on Static Orb. I had it in the first draft and yeah it packs a wallop, but I kind of need to be swinging with creatures.
Swords is good, probably worth running despite it being a noncreature. I will try to make room. I'll skip Path to Exile because it is counterproductive to the mana denial strategy.
Top is iffy, yeah. But I think it still pulls its weight because of its crazy synergy with Teshar -- think of it as really the best "bauble".
Do you think I have enough non creatures to justify Monastery Mentor?
I have some of those moxen, but I cut them because of they their anti-synergy with Thorn of Amethyst etc. I thought it would be a toss-up between those and regular ol' lands. But they are good with Teshar and Armageddon... what do you think?
Lots of the playable hatebears are legendary and synergize well with Teshar. What's more, a lot of creatures like Thalia, Heretic of Thraben make it difficult to play noncreatures. Sounds like an opportunity I can't pass up.
1 Teshar, Ancestor's Apostle
Mana Dudes
1 Gold Myr
1 Hedron Crawler
1 Manakin
1 Millikin
1 Plague Myr
1 Palladium Myr
1 Metalworker
Hateful Dudes
1 Jötun Grunt
1 Remorseful Cleric
1 Spirit of the Labyrinth
1 Ethersworn Canonist
1 Tocatli Honor Guard
1 Thalia, Guardian of Thraben
1 Phyrexian Revoker
1 Leonin Arbiter
1 Glowrider
1 Vryn Wingmare
1 Eidolon of Rhetoric
1 Hushwing Gryff
1 Aven Mindcensor
1 Thalia, Heretic Cathar
1 Alms Collector
1 Hokori, Dust Drinker
1 Linvala, Keeper of Silence
1 World Queller
1 Mother of Runes
1 Signal Pest
1 Selfless Spirit
1 Pianna, Nomad Captain
1 Mirror Entity
1 Rune-Tail, Kitsune Ascendant
1 Valor
Support Dudes
1 Weathered Wayfarer
1 Serra Ascendant
1 Salvage Scout
1 Restoration Specialist
1 Leonin Relic-Warder
1 Fiend Hunter
1 Lieutenant Kirtar
1 Bygone Bishop
1 Deal Broker
1 Mentor of the Meek
1 Recruiter of the Guard
1 Devout Witness
1 Trusty Packbeast
1 Ranger of Eos
1 Reveillark
1 Sun Titan
Noncreatures (18)
1 Urza's Bauble
1 Mishra's Bauble
1 Mana Crypt
1 Sol Ring
1 Chrome Mox
1 Conjurer's Bauble
1 Scrabbling Claws
1 Dispeller's Capsule
1 Sensei's Divining Top
1 Skullclamp
1 Sphere of Resistance
1 Thorn of Amethyst
1 Winter Orb
1 Smokestack
1 Enlightened Tutor
1 Swords to Plowshares
1 Armageddon
1 Cataclysm
1 High Market
1 Phyrexia's Core
1 Darksteel Citadel
1 Flagstones of Trokair
1 Buried Ruin
1 Strip Mine
1 Wasteland
1 Dust Bowl
1 Geier Reach Sanitarium
1 Inventors' Fair
1 Windbrisk Heights
22 Plains
You'll note that I have omitted a lot of the Teshar "staples" -- no Lion's Eye Diamond, no Ashnod's Altar, no Hope of Ghirapur, and not even Myr Retreiver. I'm not really trying to set up an infinite loop, but instead lock down the table with hatebears long enough to get in the red zone: I found cards like these to be too low-impact.
I'm also skipping a lot of the spellbombs and mana rocks you would usually see, because they get a lot worse with one of the six Thorn of Amethyst effects. Instead, I am playing all the mana dorks I never have an excuse to play otherwise. Millikin and friends are actually fantastic with Teshar and Winter Orb! Plus, these can be brought back with Teshar after a board wipe, whereas traditional stuff like Fellwar Stone cannot. Winning!
So in short, I'm really trying to minimize the amount that my hatebears affect me. It's also why I am playing the minimum number of ETB effects: once I shut out all the noncreatures with tax effects, Tocatli Honor Guard and Hushwing Gryff can really do some heavy lifting against enemy creatures.
It's still very much a work in progress. Let me know what you think!
Azami player resolves Paradox Engine with five mana rocks and a full grip of spells, and no one has an answer. Yup, you got it!
Narset player swings and gets a free Time Stretch and Cataclysm. That's good enough for me!
We can move on to the next game without slogging through the triggers. No hard feelings! Just please be honest about your winning chances; if I ask "do you win now?" just say, "No, actually" or "Yeah, probably".
Is there currently maintenance in progress, i.e. is this a known issue / expected behavior?
Personally, I would be interested in seeing a Teshar hatebears approach. The only thing more annoying than Hushwing Gryff is a Hushwing Gryff that just won't go away. Sounds great.
Edit: Not to mention that a lot of the hatebears are legendary and would trigger Teshar themselves, e.g. Thalia, Thalia 2, Linvala, Hokori
More likely, it will end up being a combo piece for Food Chain decks.
Yes, I'm still playing Squee, it is my go-to deck whenever I get to play Magic. As a matter of fact, I killed someone a few weeks ago by dropping a Valakut mountain on them for 96 damage.
Did you see the Dominaria leak? Here is a translation from the original Chinese post (there are more accurate translations available now, but this one is better):
{ A } { red } { red }
Legendary creatures ~ ghosts
2/1
You can cast sphinx from your graveyard or exile.
I am definitely changing the thread name to "Not Dead Squig".