Thrun regenerates. Against aggro consider day of judgment on turn 6, then keep beating. Bonehoard is great with the stoneforge package as are any of the new mirrodin swords.
If this is for a custom set, consider a one-drop uncommon or rare that helps you tutor your plots earlier. Since plots seem to be RW and war-centered, I might suggest
Ready for War - R
Enchantment - Plot (uncommon or rare)
Whenever you cast a red spell, you may put a plot counter on CARDNAME.
Plot change - X, remove X plot counters from ~ and sacrifice it: Put X 1/1 red goblin creature tokens onto the battlefield. Search your library for a plot card and put it into play.
If you're committed to the idea of colorless activations, I think you're fine at uncommon or rare. If they are rare, you could probably let them tap for their respectable mana and ETB tapped.
Cycles are more aesthetically appealing - and aesthetics matter a lot to most players. That intangible design value may be worth considering, especially if you plan to participate in GDS-3.
Having said that, in the perfect world this would have shown up in worldwake at uncommon with rare lands also having bomb-y powers. Remember, though, land-bombs have to be de-valued because they're in general hard to answer. I think your colorless ones are fine as are, but they're almost too fixed. Limited? awesome design. Constructed? Try moving them in-color and making the effects a little cheaper.
Kamigawa block, easily. Part of it is the connection that the art and the flavor text build together. Say what you will about it being a parasitic or underpowered block. It felt the most real. The kami's haunting visage captures you and brings you in. You can see the desperation in the eyes of many of the human subjects. I did have a problem with the goblins and the ogres of the set, but that still pales when the block was largely dominated by spirits and humans. Variety, detail, and haunting flavor text? I'm surprised nobody else has answered that way yet.
Found this thread after making my first. I noticed a few things when reading or making that I find worth noting.
1st: I used basic glue and a Q-tip to apply the layers. The cards REALLY warped from that, so I'm going to go and get spray-adhesive today, but I"m also going to apply pressure on a flat surface for a good finish.
2nd: My hand is REALLY not steady at all.
3rd: Only after reading this did I hear the idea of tracing the cut-outs. Definitely worth considering, as I thought my 3-d mountain was missing that special something.
4th: I really like the idea of messing with the text box - either the corresponding land symbol for a creature, or another picture of the creature. This makes me think that alternate-arts would be cool. I love the idea of swapping out the art from a general.
5th: We needn't be limited to one card! I plan on making a chandra nalaar sometime, with 3-d cutouts of lightning bolt and pyroclasm in the layers. Has anybody else done this before? I'd be interested in hearing about it. On a related note, has anybody been bold enough to do a 3-d planeswalker?
The alternative is to have MaRo and the ilk give everybody a full review. I'd much rather they spend their time giving reviews to prospective employees, and making sure that they don't accidentally print the next tarmogoyf.
I competed at home (I can't move to take the internship, so why bother wasting everybody's time by chacing a victory?) and have found all of the feedback helpful in creating my set. If I have more social mobility come the next GDS, I'll be ready with a set and everything. The only reason some people perceive a lack of closure is because they can't read between the lines of the designers' critiques. And if you can't do that, it's probably a starting point toward understanding why your designs fell flat with them.
I've refused to use this word in general, but for some reason I can't help but return to the word "cute" when looking at this guy. As mentioned above, to see so much heart in the fight coming from some little guy so comical makes me want to root for the Mirrans in this next war. I mean, can you see this guy going up against some infect nasty? I feel like he doesn't know what he's up against. :/
A heavily-equipped goblin. Especially considering that other goblins in this set like equipment, I'd expect him to play with equipment as well. Possibly an effect similar to the Kor lord from Zendikar.
I like this. Reminds me of the black faerie from morningtide. This would be busted if it could hit players, but it doesn't. A good combat trick, and especially nice in a sealed 2HG format. Elegant design.
Hobbling Fetch
I agree with other criticisms. This isn't black, plus it's a major improvement over scroll thief outside of a very specific deck. Black doesn't get a lot of jump effects, and certainly no ophidian effects.
Curseweaver:
I disagree with sir aureus. This is normally a white ability, but since you're probably going to put nasty enchantments on your opponent's guy, I'm fine with it being black. Maybe add a black clause to the enchantment if the criticism seems too valid. I'd certainly like to turn 4 mind control an opponent's guy in black for free
Fortress Garrison:
I don't like this card. It almost completely locks out RDW, and white already has enough tools to crush it. 0/5 is extremely difficult to break, and when that's met with a clock or a full set of chump blockers, you're time walking red once if not twice. It may be boring in its similarity to Roc Egg, but this should probably be a 0/3 if you're going to balance it. OR, maybe put a single soldier into play.
Sculpt in Stone:
Love it. Love the flavor, the effect, everything.
Transcendent Familiar:
This is a niche card that is strictly better than suntail hawk, but I think that's fine. I'm not sure when I'd run this, but I certainly have no aversion to it. Make it an uncommon.
Noble Quarry:
I don't like the use of targeting, since the noble quarry technically does the targeting. I'd say that each opponent may put a +1/+1 counter on any number of his or her creatures. I like green splash guys who get power or toughness creep with drawbacks, and think this upholds the noble tradition. It's also a clever blue hoser without directly saying so - a key part of design that I respect.
Eroding Vines:
A "slower" creeping mold - The good news is you can drop it turn 2 to kill something on turn 3, the bad news is it's a worse topdeck late-game. I think that this may have to fight for a role in order to work, but that's fine - not all cards should be auto-fits into any deck.
Beers:
There's a local brewery which has a good Scottish Ale. Mass produced, I vary between Sam Adams Boston Lager and Guinness Draught at random. Strangely, I have an affinity for Wild Blue even though by the books I should hate it - and everybody I know says it tastes like piss.
Wines:
Cagnina Di Romagna.
Asti Spumante
Italian Moscato
most German mid-to-top-shelf Riesling
(Any Italian wine which isn't overbearingly dry)
Spirits:
Bacardi silver and coke, mixed 1:4 with lime
White russians - with vanilla absolut
Amarula - a cream liqueur from South Africa
I'm fairly impressed with all. They don't seem overpowered. I wouldn't run warforged ghost in my own deck, but it seems like a house in limited, and could get broken by X, Y, or Z. Prince of sandstorms is my favorite for the reasons already stated. It's just plain evil, but gives them a glimmer of hope to play around. This is how magic design works!
My first line of this train of thought was in WOrld of Warcraft, whereby damage interrupts your spells. I had a few ideas for mages. Some are underpowered, some are overpowered. I seek your help. The following should not be taken as ready-for-print, but as cards that exist to convey the feeling of the mage I would want to put into a counterburn-friendly set.
The first time each turn that a spell or ability you control deals damage to an opponent, you may counter target spell that player controls unless he or she pays X, where X is the damage dealt to that player by that spell or ability.
T: CARDNAME deals 1 damage to target player.
3/2
(Had to do "the first time" to fix it, but i think "first time" is an obvious fix that is indicative of sloppy design. I'd like to clean this up and streamline it so there's no obvious sign of which parts were balanced and which were meant to be the gyst of the card)
Interrupt mage 2 -RRU
Legendary Creature – Human Wizard
2/2
Whenever a noncreature source you control deals damage to an opponent, you may untap CARDNAME.
T: CARDNAME deals one damage to target creature.
R, T: CARDNAME deals one damage to target player.
(He's more of a mechanical exercise.)
Gambit Mage - RU
Legendary Creature – Human Wizard
2/2
Whenever a noncreature source you control would deal damage to an opponent, you may prevent that damage. If you do, counter target spell that opponent controls unless he or she pays X, where X is the damage prevented this way. If a spell is countered this way, CARDNAME deals X damage to that opponent, where X is the damage prevented.
(Templating's a nightmare, but take a step back. In my humble opinion, it's kinda like Form of the Dragon. Odd at first, but makes sense once you play with it. Basically, the idea is that your burn spells can entail a risk because although they tax, they fizzle if your opponent pays the tax. Right now this makes lightning bolt a strictly better mana leak, so it's obviously on the broken side. Help fix?)
Another gambit mage - RU
Legendary creature – human wizard
Whenever a spell or ability an opponent controls is countered, put a charge counter on CARDNAME, then CARDNAME deals damage to that opponent equal to the number of charge counters on CARDNAME.
2/2
(I think his flavor kinda sells itself. Not the name, of course, but the text box)
Flames of Unreality - XXRU
Mythic Rare - Instant
Counter target spell unless its controller pays X. IF he or she does, CARDNAME deals X damage to each of up to two target creatures or players.
(Not quite a finisher for counterburn, but close to it. Not the best counterspell, but if they pay, they get hit in the face. Hard.)
Spellscorch - RU
Instant
Counter target spell. CARDNAME deals two damage to that spell’s controller and three damage to you.
(Two mana hard counter with a drawback. Kind of like char, but you have to pay a bit more if you're going to be countering. Balanced against countersquall and then amped up to make it playable. If TOO playable, happy to nerf)
A worse cryptic for the Most Part - 1UUU
Instant
Return target permanent to its owner’s hand. Counter target spell with converted mana cost equal to the permanent returned this way.
(It's not as exciting, but the feel of using your enemy's bounced permanent against them is loltacular)
Screwing Seas 3UR
Mythic Rare - Enchantment (aura)
Enchant land
Enchanted land is an island.
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a token onto the battlefield that is a copy of CARDNAME. Then, if there are no non-island lands on the battlefield, CARDNAME deals one damage to target creature or player and you draw a card.
(One hell of a finisher for counterburn. Screw their mana exponentially, counter when they try to kill it, then burn them out in one or two turns while making massive card advantage. It's wierd, because to me it's simultaneously overpowered and underpowered. Made for casual?)
Mindflame Spellbomb - 2RU
Artifact
Whenever a noncreature source you control deals damage or a spell is countered, put a charge counter on CARDNAME.
U, T, Sacrifice CARDNAME: Return each nonland permanent with converted mana cost equal to or less than the number of charge counters on CARDNAME to its owner’s hand.
R, T, Sacrifice CARDNAME: CARDNAME deals damage to target creature or player equal to the number of charge counters on CARDNAME.
(Works with red, works with blue, can turn your counterspells into burn or your burn into some serious bounce)
Super Shrapnel Burst - 2RU
Sorcery
Search your library for an artifact card and put it onto the battlefield tapped under target opponent’s control, then shuffle your library. CARDNAME deals X damage to target creature, where X is the converted mana cost of the artifact put onto the battlefield this way.
(Heh, immortal coil might make this broken, but if you have to run immortal coil with this, I say all the power to you. only hits creatures to prevent busted draco kills)
Forking Planeswalker - 2RU
+2: Put the top card of your library into your graveyard. Add R to your mana pool for each red mana symbol in the card put into a graveyard this way.
-2: CARDNAME deals three damage, divided as you choose, among any number of target creatures and/or players
-11: For the rest of the game, whenever a source you control would deal damage, you may divide its damage among any number of target creatures and/or players.
Loyalty 3
(this guy's a little complicated. I like that he can defend himself with his -2. His +2 is unpredictable and accelerating, which I hear red tends to do. Of course, blue's ability to manipulate the library makes his +2 quite relevant. And the -11 will require a lot of thinking, but it makes your damage go for the dome pretty fast. Worthy of a -11, but I don't like how this guy is all about extremes right now)
Bouncing Fireball
Sorcery – 1RU
CARDNAME deals two damage to target creature. If that creature is destroyed this way, CARDNAME deals one damage to another target creature or player. Otherwise, draw a card.
(I like that it can cantrip into enough burn to finish the creature, or act as a better forked bolt. To fix this one way would be to make it a sorcery. I'd like to keep the feeling while making it playable at instant speed)
Contraspell
Instant – 1RU
Counter target spell. Reveal the top card of your library. If it is red, CARDNAME deals one damage to target creature or player. If it is blue, draw a card. Otherwise, put the top card of your library into your graveyard
(The idea for this one is to make a counterspell that always has a relevant impact. Hitting for one is nice, so is getting that next blue counterspell. You have to watch out because it lowers your odds of getting a land drop, but late-game that's an asset)
When are we just finally going to give up and stop taking hits from Wizards? It's clearer and clearer they don't care about us at all. They're really just trying to attract other players while assuming that all of us are just going to deal with it keep playing.
We need to create a list of grievances and someone needs to nail it to the main entrance door of Wizards of the Coast. The 95 Theses on the Power and Efficacy of Magic the Gathering... but we gotta work on the name, I don't like it.
Options for the thirty-page ultimatum:
The Eroding Coast: Why Wizards' Future Means Fewer Wizards
Mythic Blunder: How Wizards of the Coast is Damaging its Reputation
or, a lengthy, legalistic, but expressive title:
A Grievance on the part of these signed members of the Magic: The Gathering Community, addressed to Wizards of the Coast: Regarding a general complaint about the policy which emphasizes an abandonment of Wizards' longstanding gaming principles in favor of booster sales.
The chapters:
Chapter 1: We get it.
(Players understand that wizards needs to sell packs. Players understand that not every card is for them. Players understand there will always be the haves and the have-nots. This chapter shows that we are not naieve)
Chapter 2: We don't think you get us.
(This chapter covers the nature of the changing magic demographic, what the demographic changes will bring, how wizards threatens its long-term future if it abandons "classic" players)
Chapter 3: Our understanding of your policy
(Sell packs. Mythics sell packs, small set jank with hyper-rares sell packs, pushing limited sells packs, appeal to beginners sells packs, changes to extended sells packs [i will elaborate on that detail later], midrange wars sell packs)
Chapter 4: Our problem with Mythics
(Limited becomes a little less predictable, prices go up, they don't REALLY add flavor, because mythicness is about the card, not its rarity, the market is warped to the point that standard is more expensive than ever)
Chapter 5: Our problem with The Changes to Extended
(loss of value, unpredictability overall, rising prices of standard and extended staples)
Chapter 6: Our problem with over-fixing
(This is just my opinion, rarely stated, so it might not make it into the ultimatum, but it seems that wizards is emphasizing "toolbox" power a-la-jace, or simply efficient fat a-la-baneslayer angel, but is afraid to print anything remotely enabling of a new powerful archetype. I'm not asking for scullclamp, but i'm asking for shared discovery to be playable.)
Chapter 7: Our recommendations
(we need solutions if we're going to be taken seriously)
If you're concerned with aggro, consider RG - that gives you pyroclasm, slagstorm, lightning bolt, and raging ravine. If you mass burn, thrun still regenerates so you're fine.
Ready for War - R
Enchantment - Plot (uncommon or rare)
Whenever you cast a red spell, you may put a plot counter on CARDNAME.
Plot change - X, remove X plot counters from ~ and sacrifice it: Put X 1/1 red goblin creature tokens onto the battlefield. Search your library for a plot card and put it into play.
Cycles are more aesthetically appealing - and aesthetics matter a lot to most players. That intangible design value may be worth considering, especially if you plan to participate in GDS-3.
Having said that, in the perfect world this would have shown up in worldwake at uncommon with rare lands also having bomb-y powers. Remember, though, land-bombs have to be de-valued because they're in general hard to answer. I think your colorless ones are fine as are, but they're almost too fixed. Limited? awesome design. Constructed? Try moving them in-color and making the effects a little cheaper.
1st: I used basic glue and a Q-tip to apply the layers. The cards REALLY warped from that, so I'm going to go and get spray-adhesive today, but I"m also going to apply pressure on a flat surface for a good finish.
2nd: My hand is REALLY not steady at all.
3rd: Only after reading this did I hear the idea of tracing the cut-outs. Definitely worth considering, as I thought my 3-d mountain was missing that special something.
4th: I really like the idea of messing with the text box - either the corresponding land symbol for a creature, or another picture of the creature. This makes me think that alternate-arts would be cool. I love the idea of swapping out the art from a general.
5th: We needn't be limited to one card! I plan on making a chandra nalaar sometime, with 3-d cutouts of lightning bolt and pyroclasm in the layers. Has anybody else done this before? I'd be interested in hearing about it. On a related note, has anybody been bold enough to do a 3-d planeswalker?
The alternative is to have MaRo and the ilk give everybody a full review. I'd much rather they spend their time giving reviews to prospective employees, and making sure that they don't accidentally print the next tarmogoyf.
I competed at home (I can't move to take the internship, so why bother wasting everybody's time by chacing a victory?) and have found all of the feedback helpful in creating my set. If I have more social mobility come the next GDS, I'll be ready with a set and everything. The only reason some people perceive a lack of closure is because they can't read between the lines of the designers' critiques. And if you can't do that, it's probably a starting point toward understanding why your designs fell flat with them.
A heavily-equipped goblin. Especially considering that other goblins in this set like equipment, I'd expect him to play with equipment as well. Possibly an effect similar to the Kor lord from Zendikar.
I like this. Reminds me of the black faerie from morningtide. This would be busted if it could hit players, but it doesn't. A good combat trick, and especially nice in a sealed 2HG format. Elegant design.
Hobbling Fetch
I agree with other criticisms. This isn't black, plus it's a major improvement over scroll thief outside of a very specific deck. Black doesn't get a lot of jump effects, and certainly no ophidian effects.
Curseweaver:
I disagree with sir aureus. This is normally a white ability, but since you're probably going to put nasty enchantments on your opponent's guy, I'm fine with it being black. Maybe add a black clause to the enchantment if the criticism seems too valid. I'd certainly like to turn 4 mind control an opponent's guy in black for free
Fortress Garrison:
I don't like this card. It almost completely locks out RDW, and white already has enough tools to crush it. 0/5 is extremely difficult to break, and when that's met with a clock or a full set of chump blockers, you're time walking red once if not twice. It may be boring in its similarity to Roc Egg, but this should probably be a 0/3 if you're going to balance it. OR, maybe put a single soldier into play.
Sculpt in Stone:
Love it. Love the flavor, the effect, everything.
Transcendent Familiar:
This is a niche card that is strictly better than suntail hawk, but I think that's fine. I'm not sure when I'd run this, but I certainly have no aversion to it. Make it an uncommon.
Noble Quarry:
I don't like the use of targeting, since the noble quarry technically does the targeting. I'd say that each opponent may put a +1/+1 counter on any number of his or her creatures. I like green splash guys who get power or toughness creep with drawbacks, and think this upholds the noble tradition. It's also a clever blue hoser without directly saying so - a key part of design that I respect.
Eroding Vines:
A "slower" creeping mold - The good news is you can drop it turn 2 to kill something on turn 3, the bad news is it's a worse topdeck late-game. I think that this may have to fight for a role in order to work, but that's fine - not all cards should be auto-fits into any deck.
http://www.kafkamaine.com/hatebynumbers/hbn-57-werewolves-are-really-emo-kids-with-fangs/
Beers:
There's a local brewery which has a good Scottish Ale. Mass produced, I vary between Sam Adams Boston Lager and Guinness Draught at random. Strangely, I have an affinity for Wild Blue even though by the books I should hate it - and everybody I know says it tastes like piss.
Wines:
Cagnina Di Romagna.
Asti Spumante
Italian Moscato
most German mid-to-top-shelf Riesling
(Any Italian wine which isn't overbearingly dry)
Spirits:
Bacardi silver and coke, mixed 1:4 with lime
White russians - with vanilla absolut
Amarula - a cream liqueur from South Africa
Legendary Creature – Elemental Wizard
(Had to do "the first time" to fix it, but i think "first time" is an obvious fix that is indicative of sloppy design. I'd like to clean this up and streamline it so there's no obvious sign of which parts were balanced and which were meant to be the gyst of the card)
(I think his flavor kinda sells itself. Not the name, of course, but the text box)
(Two mana hard counter with a drawback. Kind of like char, but you have to pay a bit more if you're going to be countering. Balanced against countersquall and then amped up to make it playable. If TOO playable, happy to nerf)
(It's not as exciting, but the feel of using your enemy's bounced permanent against them is loltacular)
(Heh, immortal coil might make this broken, but if you have to run immortal coil with this, I say all the power to you. only hits creatures to prevent busted draco kills)
Counter target spell. Reveal the top card of your library. If it is red, CARDNAME deals one damage to target creature or player. If it is blue, draw a card. Otherwise, put the top card of your library into your graveyard
(The idea for this one is to make a counterspell that always has a relevant impact. Hitting for one is nice, so is getting that next blue counterspell. You have to watch out because it lowers your odds of getting a land drop, but late-game that's an asset)
Options for the thirty-page ultimatum:
The Eroding Coast: Why Wizards' Future Means Fewer Wizards
Mythic Blunder: How Wizards of the Coast is Damaging its Reputation
or, a lengthy, legalistic, but expressive title:
A Grievance on the part of these signed members of the Magic: The Gathering Community, addressed to Wizards of the Coast: Regarding a general complaint about the policy which emphasizes an abandonment of Wizards' longstanding gaming principles in favor of booster sales.
The chapters:
Chapter 1: We get it.
(Players understand that wizards needs to sell packs. Players understand that not every card is for them. Players understand there will always be the haves and the have-nots. This chapter shows that we are not naieve)
Chapter 2: We don't think you get us.
(This chapter covers the nature of the changing magic demographic, what the demographic changes will bring, how wizards threatens its long-term future if it abandons "classic" players)
Chapter 3: Our understanding of your policy
(Sell packs. Mythics sell packs, small set jank with hyper-rares sell packs, pushing limited sells packs, appeal to beginners sells packs, changes to extended sells packs [i will elaborate on that detail later], midrange wars sell packs)
Chapter 4: Our problem with Mythics
(Limited becomes a little less predictable, prices go up, they don't REALLY add flavor, because mythicness is about the card, not its rarity, the market is warped to the point that standard is more expensive than ever)
Chapter 5: Our problem with The Changes to Extended
(loss of value, unpredictability overall, rising prices of standard and extended staples)
Chapter 6: Our problem with over-fixing
(This is just my opinion, rarely stated, so it might not make it into the ultimatum, but it seems that wizards is emphasizing "toolbox" power a-la-jace, or simply efficient fat a-la-baneslayer angel, but is afraid to print anything remotely enabling of a new powerful archetype. I'm not asking for scullclamp, but i'm asking for shared discovery to be playable.)
Chapter 7: Our recommendations
(we need solutions if we're going to be taken seriously)