While this is a neat design, contradictory lines of text are problematic. That's why you'll never see something like this.
The problem is that a player might read the second ability and question whether the first ability applies to it, because it's phrased in a way that contradicts the logic of the first ability. "Why would this tell me each player gains life when they would actually lose it? The abilities are printed on the same card! This second ability must be an exception to the first."
It adds a needless second step in resolution by always having a replacement effect for the second ability. My rule of thumb is never to make an effect that will just be replaced by a different effect 100% of the time. Cut out the middle man and say "deals 1 damage to each player."
Alternatively, you could do something similar by limiting the first ability to opponents and making the second ability "target creature gains lifelink until end of turn." That would, of course, necessitate making this card also white or black (or just monoblack, now that I think about it), but it adds more depth and justifies the replacement effect. You could use it on your own guy and gain some life, or you could use it on an opponent's guy and punish them for hitting you.
This would probably be a jank rare, where such weirdness is fine. This could also lead to a nice "Aha!" moment for a newer player.
There's definitely a salvageable idea here, but it has to be presented differently. Hmmm... Maybe the base ability could be something quite funky like "Until end of turn, you gain "1: Invoke"", and then all of the spells could contain the text "Until end of turn, whenever you invoke..." This would reward chaining the spells together interestingly.
I'm gonna continue to advocate for this one.
Proof of concept:
Mizzium Flight1UR
Instant (U)
Kinetic (Until end of turn, you gain "1: Burst.")
Target creature gets +3/+1 and gains flying until end of turn.
Until end of turn, whenever you burst, target creature gets +1/-1 until end of turn.
Very interesting, but, after this card has left the stack, where the heck (what zone) is the "whenever you burst" ability triggering from?
Ah, but here putting -1/-1 counters on the creature is a bonus, not a drawback.
If WOTC doesn't want to keyword this ability, they shouldn't print it on so many cards.
I was lumping this in the group of "can feel like a drawback" since it can shrink or kill your creatures. If you know what you're doing, the counters are definitely a resource. However, newer players will probably be averse to hurting their own stuff and don't have enough experience to weigh the upsides properly.
There are some actual drawback components to this mechanic- it either kills or permanently shrinks a creature that can't remove the counters and it gives your opponents a window where your creatures that can remove counters are more vulnerable to removal than they otherwise might be.
Maybe you could make something like escalate that lets you choose multiple different modes _and_ lets you choose the same mode more than once (like the confluence spells).
Fiddle Faddle (Common) U
Instant
Invoke 1(Pay this cost for each mode chosen beyond the first. You may choose the same mode more than once.)
Choose one —
• Tap target creature.
• Untap target creature.
Look about right? Wow, it's like Replicate and Escalate had a baby. Pretty strong stuff. Would be hard to develop, but I like it. In MSE it's precisely four lines with short text effects (6 with reminder text), which is just right for NWO.
The first version is definitely preferable. It may be hard to interact with directly, but as it's connecting to a creature, ordinary creature removal is sufficient to answer it. Along the lines of Cipher.
I suppose that's true enough, as long as you're careful about what effects you put on these cards. I.e. be leery of indestructible, hexproof, etc.
As a suggestion on the wording, you might want to try this:
Instill with Vigor1W
Instant Imbue- Exile this spell as it resolves imbued on target creature. As long as that creature is imbued by ~, it gets +1/+1 and has vigilance.
Maybe you could make something like escalate that lets you choose multiple different modes _and_ lets you choose the same mode more than once (like the confluence spells).
From what it says here http://mtg.gamepedia.com/Infinite_Consortium it sounds like it used to be an organization of planeswalkers that stole things. Mechanically this sounds like a Superfriends and/or theft deck, neither of which would make enough of a basis for a full faction or archetype.
However, the ultimate fate of the Consortium sounds very vague and it mentions Jace took over the Ravnican cell, so I think you have a lot of latitude in saying what that cell has become by the time of your set. (Assuming it takes place after those events.)
1. Keyword: Scar - N (When ~ enters the battlefield, put N -1/-1 counters on a creature you control.)
2. Why does "Screeching Mummy" and the like care about removing a -1/-1 counter from them? Would they be broken if they could remove any kind of counter from them? Would they be broken if they could remove a -1/-1 counter from any creature you control? I think neither would be broken, and the only worry with regards to removing any counter from any creature is cumulative upkeep/fading/etc. But that's probably not enough reason to justify the glut of text (on either yours or WOTC's!).
Demon of Famines is interesting. I'd like to see this ability keyworded (B, R?).
Several years ago, Wizards stopped keywording abilities that are either drawbacks or that can feel like drawbacks to less experienced players.
Instill with Vigor 1W
Instant (C)
Target creature gets +1/+1 and gains vigilance until end of turn.
The imbued creature gets +1/+1 and has vigilance.
Imbue (If you cast this spell from your hand, exile it as it resolves imbued onto target creature.)
I'm trying to design a mechanic that can fit in esper colors and involves exile in some way shape or form. I came up with this. I based it on Rebound, Haunt, Imprint, and Cipher.
Another version I considered is
Instill with Vigor 1W
Instant (C)
Target creature gets +1/+1 and gains vigilance until end of turn.
When the imbued creature dies, cast a copy of this spell without paying its mana cost.
Imbue (If you cast this spell from your hand, exile it as it resolves imbued onto target creature.)
Any suggestions or feedback is welcome.
Thank you in advance.
The first one is dangerous because there's very few ways to answer the card once it's imbuing something.
The second one won't work well for combat tricks, since your opponent can control the timing for it by killing your creature. Also, there's nothing wrong with this, but this ability is basically identical to haunt.
What are your goals for this mechanic? What would you like it to do in gameplay?
Gurian Mine:
-This is in kind of a weird spot. You don't want to use the ETB ability unless you already have plenty of lands, in which case you probably won't need this to be in play. Cycling lands take care of this same function more elegantly in my opinion. What thoughts/goals with this card?
-Also, as a minor templating note, triggered abilities don't need to say "may" twice.
Demon of the Mist:
-This guy seems like a good early game beater. I like him a lot.
-As a flavor note, "Mist" makes me think less of demons and more of spirits/elementals or a stalking horror. I'm not saying demon is a wrong choice here, just that it's against usual expectations and something you'd have to build your setting around if this guy was included in a set.
Honestly, I find Naive Child to the be most blood-chilling. The flavor text really puts you in the position of imagining some unknown horror making a house call and not having a good way to do anything about it.
This thread is creepier than both the Innistrad blocks put together and that's saying something.
The first Innistrad got close with Cloistered Youth/Unholy Fiend and Kindercatch. The second was too focused on Lovecraftian horror to dip back into the bits that were neglected the first time around.
There's also the fact that children aren't the best creatures, since they're not terribly effective in combat.
This would probably be a jank rare, where such weirdness is fine. This could also lead to a nice "Aha!" moment for a newer player.
Very interesting, but, after this card has left the stack, where the heck (what zone) is the "whenever you burst" ability triggering from?
I was lumping this in the group of "can feel like a drawback" since it can shrink or kill your creatures. If you know what you're doing, the counters are definitely a resource. However, newer players will probably be averse to hurting their own stuff and don't have enough experience to weigh the upsides properly.
There are some actual drawback components to this mechanic- it either kills or permanently shrinks a creature that can't remove the counters and it gives your opponents a window where your creatures that can remove counters are more vulnerable to removal than they otherwise might be.
Like escalate, I assume the Invoke cost won't always be 1 and your template isn't going to be able to support that.
I suppose that's true enough, as long as you're careful about what effects you put on these cards. I.e. be leery of indestructible, hexproof, etc.
As a suggestion on the wording, you might want to try this:
Instill with Vigor 1W
Instant
Imbue- Exile this spell as it resolves imbued on target creature. As long as that creature is imbued by ~, it gets +1/+1 and has vigilance.
///
R Mage
Seriously though, this card does seem interesting. Hopefully it won't get played enough to be super-annoying.
However, the ultimate fate of the Consortium sounds very vague and it mentions Jace took over the Ravnican cell, so I think you have a lot of latitude in saying what that cell has become by the time of your set. (Assuming it takes place after those events.)
Several years ago, Wizards stopped keywording abilities that are either drawbacks or that can feel like drawbacks to less experienced players.
The first one is dangerous because there's very few ways to answer the card once it's imbuing something.
The second one won't work well for combat tricks, since your opponent can control the timing for it by killing your creature. Also, there's nothing wrong with this, but this ability is basically identical to haunt.
What are your goals for this mechanic? What would you like it to do in gameplay?
-This is in kind of a weird spot. You don't want to use the ETB ability unless you already have plenty of lands, in which case you probably won't need this to be in play. Cycling lands take care of this same function more elegantly in my opinion. What thoughts/goals with this card?
-Also, as a minor templating note, triggered abilities don't need to say "may" twice.
Demon of the Mist:
-This guy seems like a good early game beater. I like him a lot.
-As a flavor note, "Mist" makes me think less of demons and more of spirits/elementals or a stalking horror. I'm not saying demon is a wrong choice here, just that it's against usual expectations and something you'd have to build your setting around if this guy was included in a set.
There's also the fact that children aren't the best creatures, since they're not terribly effective in combat.