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Jul 12, 2011This is part of a 3 short stories book I have, really want some feedback. If you're interested in reading the rest, let me know! Hope you enjoy and any comments are welcomed.Posted in: Personal Writing
The “older you get the less you work, the more you earn” paradox
Sean had been waiting all morning for his 9 o’clock appointment with his boss. It wasn’t as frustrating as it seemed, since at least he wasn’t doing any real work. Don’t think badly of Sean, he was hard working, but his work wasn’t going to save or kill anyone, unless the large pile of accumulated work on his desk fell upon an unfortunate co-worker, thus in fact become a killer job. Also to much of Sean’s satisfaction there was the new issue of National Geographic on the waiting room, which he was now avidly reading. Why his boss had a waiting room was one of life’s greatest mysteries since you never saw more than one person at a time in there.
Finally a beautiful voice announced that Mr. Sean Smith was to come in. Everyone knows that kind of voice, it’s a voice of a heavenly being, a tall gorgeous blond which had only for a skill looking good and she was a pro at it.
He finally came into Mr. Anderson’s office. He was typing something on his computer and took him a while to invite Sean to have a seat.
‘What brings’ his boss made a pause while, looking at an apparently blank sheet of paper ‘you here Mr. Smith?’
‘Well, sir. I was hoping for a raise.’
‘Ohhh, a raise? And on what grounds? Mr Anderson leaned back on his chair.
Very strangely Sean hadn’t anticipated that question. He just thought of going in there and seeing if he got a raise, after all his boss should know his value, he thought.
‘I really haven’t though of that, but since you ask, let me think for a while.’ Sean said.
An awkward silence fell upon both, while one looked at his blank sheet of paper and the other moved his eyeballs from upper right to upper left, just like Sean saw in the movies when someone was thinking real hard to come up with an idea. Sean broke the silence with a triumphant but very low:
‘Haha. Mrs Gordon got a raise last month and she only archives files.’
‘Ohh, but Mrs Gordon works here for’ now was Mr. Anderson’s turn to move his eyeballs from left to right ‘well, she was working here before I got here.’ And made a full turn with his chair. If there was anything that Mr. Anderson liked, was giving his premium office chair a nice spin now and then.
‘But aren’t you one of the co-founders? I thought you were, since your name being in the company’s name and all.’
‘Indeed I am’ smiled Mr. Anderson proudly.
Another small awkward silence. This time interrupted by Mr. Anderson clearing his throat and continuing ‘Mrs Gordon works here for a long time and we like to reward our old employees.’
‘Old? She looks like she’s a 1000 years old and she only archives files and gets rewarded for that?
‘Yes, without her, well you know…’ apparently another spin of his chair broke Mr. Anderson chain of thought since he didn’t finish his sentence.
‘Know what?’ – Sean inquired.
‘Our company might crumble to dust.’ he replied in a very serious tone.
‘She might crumble to dust! Seriously Mr. Anderson.’ Sean approached him a little bit, like if telling a secret ‘sometimes I see Death, with the black cape, scythe and all, peeking at her from behind a far cubicle, waiting for her to die.’
‘Ohh, that’s just Ben from Marketing.’
‘But it’s not like she even archives correctly’
‘Well, you know…’ again a small pause and another spin on the chair.
‘She’s old, Mr Smith, we must give her a break. We must be humane’
Awkward silence fell for a last time during that conversation, until it was fended by Sean ‘so, about that raise?’
‘No, I’m sorry Mr. Smith, perhaps when you’re older in this company. Let’s say 2053, Mr Smith?’ Mr Anderson grinned, showing his dentist’s white teeth under his moustache. Sean left his office a bid angry and a bit sad, but also wondering how much would his company pay if his paper work fell, accidently, of course over him. Eventually that thought left his mind, mostly thanks to good afternoon of not working and beating the hell out of pigs with flying angry birds, not that he was violent towards animals, or people for that matter.
That night, while on the sofa with his girlfriend, Karen, Sean had the greatest idea an employee could ever have. Or later like his friend Mike said, the stupidest idea ever.
‘I need you to photoshop me some stuff, Ker.’ and while he explained, Karen or Ker like Sean like to call her, sighed profoundly like so many other times.
While she was on her Mac, probably going to pull an all nighter, or at the very least a half-nighter, for his boyfriend, Sean was phoning his friend Mike from the IT department.
‘Hey, I had this brilliant idea, Mike. You’re going to love it.’ said Sean over his phone.
‘Ohhh, boy. Can’t wait for it’ mumbled Mike in a middle of a yawn.
‘Were you sleeping?’ asked Sean, looking at his watch.
‘It’s 22h00! What do you think?’ said a sleepy, but angry Mike.
‘We’ve talked about this Mike. No self respecting human being would ever go to sleep that early.’
‘Yes, we have. We’ve talked this over a thousand times and I always say: no intelligent human being would ever invent the snooze button, or concept for that matter. But we digress. What’s your idea, Sean?’
‘Here’s the deal.’ And after a 6 minute monologue from Sean, Mike talked back.
‘That’s the most stupid idea ever.’
‘Yes! I know, brilliant, isn’t it’
Even later that night, so late, that Mike thought that kind of late was just theoretically (it was 4:45 am), they were in the premises of their company’s building, in what apparently were two cheap ninja costumes.
‘So, what we need to do Mike, is: climb up that tree, reach the second floor, cut the window with the diamond tip pen and move from there.’ said a very confident Sean.
‘Why can’t we just enter through the front door?’ We both know the access code.’ In fact every other person in a mile radius of that building knew the access code. It was the famous 1234 code that comes with that lock.
‘Well, where would all the fun be in breaking in, if we were just to enter in. No, no! We must do this properly.’
‘Ahh, yes, where would all the fun be in trying to avoid physical damage, from let’s say’ a small pause while he observed his surroundings ‘falling down from the tree?’
‘Ohh, shut up, Mike, you’re taller than me, you could probably reach the second floor without the tree.’
‘Very fun Sean. Tall people’s jokes! Haha.’ replied a bit angrily and even more sleepy Mike.
Eventually they decided to just enter from the front door, since the window that was cut led to a storage room that was closed from the outside. They made their way into their boss’s office in a very cinematographic way, jumping, diving into the cover of a desk, running and sneaking, to avoid, what apparently was not missing the chance to use the cheap ninja costumes to the fullest.
They were now on the waiting room and Mike picked up the National Geographic and started whistling the National Geographic theme.
Yeah, I read it this morning’ said Sean. ‘There’s an interesting article on Atlantis.’
‘Where did they found it, this time?’
Sean didn’t answer for he had managed to pick the lock of Mr. Anderson’s office.
‘YouTube, I thank thee.’ said a very proud Sean.
‘So, where’s Karen’s stuff?’
‘In my pen drive, I wasn’t going to print them at home, I’m not rich, you know. Ok, I’ll start printing the calendar and you Mike, my friend, start messing with his computer.’
After a couple of hours they had almost finished what they had set up to do.
‘Not bad, Mike, not bad! There’s only the piéce de resistance. The giant billboard with a futuristic skyline, which Karen will bring us. Courtesy of her design company, Trains Design. Welcome to the future Mr. Tyler.’
‘Indeed, Mr. Smith, indeed. Although I stand firm that this is still the most stupid idea ever.’ Said Mike.
‘I know, but I’m fed up with this job, anyway.’
The two left the building, tired and sleepy, especially Mike, forgetting they still had the ninja costumes on. Which lead to a police car escorting them almost all the way back to their houses Apparently wearing ninja costumes at 6 in the morning is a bit frowned upon by the local law enforcers.
Next morning, with a complete makeover from his girlfriend and a false beard he again sat on the waiting room, reading what appeared to be a National Geographic from the year 2053, full with 3D images and cheap holograms. Mr. Anderson’s secretary had been called for a special meeting and in her place was Mrs. Helen. Also known as the Cake Lady. Every Thursday she would go in that building selling cakes she had made at home at incredibly low prices. So low that some people refused to buy from her since they thought she was laundering money.
Finally Mr. Anderson came in, passing by Mrs. Helen and by the aged Mr. Smith, but before entering his office, he turned (wishing he had he chair for a more dramatic effect) and froze, looking at Mrs. Helen, but was interrupted by Sean ‘hello, Mr Anderson. I came for that meeting we schedule.’
Mr. Anderson was both surprised and confused.
‘We did? And who might you be?’
‘I’m Mr. Smith I came for my raise.’
‘Ohhh, come in Mr Smi–‘ he didn’t finish his name, for Mr. Anderson was thrown off by his office. The old clock on the wall was now a LED clock. A calendar on his desk, with a 3D image of what seemed a panda, referred at this day as 22nd April of 2053. His computer’s keyboard and mouse had disappeared.
‘What’s the meaning of this?’ asked Mr Anderson in harsh tone. ‘And where’s my chair?’
‘What sir? I came for my raise, like you said. Just ask your computer.’ said the aged Sean.
‘My computer is just a monitor, glued with LEDs.’
‘No, no sir. Computers in the year 2053 are that way now, just talk to it.’ Almost sounded like a demand by Sean which compelled his boss to talk to his monitor. ‘Hello, er… Computer.’ and the monitor lit up and answered in a sci-fi robotish voice from an old movie, a really bad old movie.
‘HELLO MR ANDERSON, WHAT IS YOUR REQUEST?’
Mr Anderson looked at Sean, totally confused but also amazed that it actually worked. Sean helped his boss a little and emitted a silent ‘year, what is the year’. Mr Anderson either was a bad lip reader or utter baffled by what was happening didn’t say anything until Sean said aloud. ‘The year sir, ask him the year’.
‘Er… What year is it?
‘THE YEAR IS TWO THOUSAND AND… SORRY. WINDOWS 18 ENCOUNTERED AN ERROR. PLEASE STAND BY FOR THE BLUE SCREEN IN 3, 2. ONEEeee.’and the computer shut down.
‘Interesting Mr Smith how you did that. But you do realize that I know this is fake. I can see the string from your false beard and Mrs. Helen comes by my office every Monday to sell her premium cakes. Expensive, but worth every penny. Hmmm that chocolate one tastes rather fine.’
Sean thought he was being scammed by Mrs Helen and that at least was worth all the effort and stupidity of all the enterprise.
‘Well, it was worth the try. It was good working here, Mr. Anderson.’
‘So you’re quitting?’ asked his boss.
Quitting? I thought you were going to fire me after this.’
‘No, unfortunately it is very difficult to fire someone. You should have murdered someone here in the office if you really wanted to get fired. Now, please get back to work, your pile of papers isn’t getting any smaller.’
Sean didn’t foresee this outcome so he just answered with a plain ‘ok.’
‘Ohh, and Mr Smith. Bring me back my chair ASAP.’
Sean took off his beard and left his boss’s office. He had thought about numbers outcome, and this wasn’t one of them. He grabbed his phone, also pimped to be futuristic, and by pimped it means full of different colour LEDs, and phoned his friend and decided they would have lunch in the nearby park. It was quite sunny.
‘So, how did it go?’ asked Mike.
‘Weird, I guess. Didn’t get the raise. So weird but normal’
They sat there silently eating their tuna sandwich. Sean was the first to eat, well, he was the first to stop eating, since he wasn’t that hungry. He looked up, to the sunny sky and said ‘Mike?’
‘Kudos on the blue screen of death thing.’
May 23, 2011Mythrandir posted a message on [M12] New terminology, new cards, Bloodthirst confirmedHexproof? really? made me lol.Posted in: The Rumor Mill
Phoenix is cool, but could have been more interesting than just a 2/2 with flyer + haste.
May 12, 2011Well, they change the rules to something play.Posted in: Speculation
"whenever a legend creature is played exile everyother legend from all decks" if legend leaves play, return all exile legends ~same name~ to their decks"
Proper wording, of course
Dec 22, 2010Mythrandir posted a message on The Fourth Annual MTGSalvation Holiday Magic Card Exchange!my name isn't there snif.. snifPosted in: Community Discussion
Dec 21, 2010Mythrandir posted a message on Duels of the Planeswalkers + Expansions on PS3...Today!Cool, can't wait to try it out!Posted in: The Rumor Mill
Dec 15, 2010Mythrandir posted a message on The Fourth Annual MTGSalvation Holiday Magic Card Exchange!Hey Lesurgo. Just wondering, if mine got there? They're from Portugal.Posted in: Community Discussion
Merry xmas to all =) Can't wait for ppl to start posting pics of their cards.
Dec 4, 2010Posted in: Magic Rulings ArchivesQuote from Sarkhan the MongoloidUnearth is an activated ability that uses the stack just like everything else. So yes, in response to your activation, with the ability on the stack, he can exile your elemental
EXSAM FOR RULES GURU
Ok, thanks, just like i thought!!
Dec 4, 2010Hey. Here's the following situation:Posted in: Magic Rulings Archives
Player A has multiples hellspark, elemental in grave
Player B has a withered wretch
Player A activates one of the unearth, can player B respond and remove that creature from grave, before unearth puts into play?
Sep 13, 2010Mythrandir posted a message on [SOM] Boston Magic Examiner Preview: Stoic RebuttalPosted in: The Rumor Mill
But i'm glad they didn't make metalcraft just for creatures. Perhaps we'll get spot removal or draw effects with metalcraft.
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