MTG Salvation

Shield Network 1
Artifact (U)
Whenever an opponent attacks you, they choose one attacking creature. That creature becomes blocked.

Next: Rare Artifact

Phlebotomizer UB
Creature - Leech
Mana abilities of artifacts which also have static abilities cost 2 more to play.
2/2


Next: Island Sanctuary

Plowshares and Swords, Reconciled 1W
Enchantment
Whenever a land enters the battlefield under your control, if you did not play that land, you may put an exiled creature card onto the battlefield.

I hope I got the new phrasing right.

Next: Snowfall (I realize the card is already terrible, but hosing it should be funny.)

Asynchronicity U
Enchantment
Whenever an instant or sorcery spell is cast from a player's hand, exile it and put a time counter on it. That spell gains Suspend.

Foglio? 1UR
Enchantment
At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player may reveal a nonland card from his or her hand while hiding only the artist's name. If the opponent of their choice is unable to correctly guess the artist's last name in a single attempt, the card's owner reveals the artist's name and draws a card.

Sapsucker Sentinel 3G
Creature - Parasite
When Sapsucker Sentinel comes into play, untap all lands you control.
G: Sapsucker Sentinel gains vigilance until end of turn.
Sacrifice a Forest: Sapsucker Sentinel gets +1/+1 and gains trample until end of turn.
3/3

Next:
An instant or sorcery card with a triggered ability.

Non-biodegradability (2/G)(2/G)
Sorcery
Buyback (2/G)(2/G)
Return target non-green card from your graveyard to your hand.

Next:
Blue land destruction

Nature's Bounty GGG
Enchantment
As long as Nature's Bounty is tapped, all creatures get +1/+1.
Tap a creature you control: Tap or untap Nature's Bounty.

Next:
X(2/U)(2/R)

Sense, Elastic Like Goo 2R
Legendary Creature - Slime Imp
Flying, haste
Stick Sense, Elastic Like Goo to your opponent's nose: That player's nose becomes sticky until someone says, "Hey! There goes the other one!"
3/1
"I was just going to stick me on your nose until

Destructive Deity 8(R/G)
Legendary Artifact Creature - Beeble Avatar
Whenever you pay

That's 'pay', not 'play'. I want this card to be interesting.

Solving Your Problems Democratically 2WW
Enchantment
(2/W)(2/W): Players vote on whether or not to destroy target creature. If more than half the players vote affirmative, destroy that creature. It can't be regenerated. Any player may play this ability.

Breeding Cycle RR
Tribal Sorcery - Goblin
Put two 1/1 red Goblin tokens into play.
Shuffle your library, then put Breeding Cycle third from the top.

I finally found a creature type nobody used yet!

Next:
Unicorn

I can't find any creatures with type Orb, but the shapeshifters can still get in on the action.

Surface Tension 3U
Tribal Enchantment - Orb
Surface Tension costs 3 less to play if you control an Orb creature.
U, T: Redistribute the power and toughness of target creature you control until end of turn. Its power and toughness must each remain greater than or equal to zero.

Next:
Spider

One Big Spastic Frenzy 4WW
Sorcery
Tap all creatures.
Untap all creatures.
Tap all creatures.
Untap all creatures.
Tap all creatures.
Untap all creatures.
Remove all creatures from the game.
Players receive priority to play activated abilities after the resolution of each portion of this spell. Abilities played this way do not resolve until this spell resolves, regardless of order in the stack.
For best results, resolve this spell as fast as possible.

Noggle Pyromancer 2(U/R)
Creature - Noggle Wizard
T: Noggle Pyromancer deals damage equal to its converted mana cost to target Goblin or Planeswalker.
As


That's right. As.