Purity:
-For Purity did you mean paying the spells convert mana cost (generic cost) or spending only colourless mana to cast it? Because getting four or more sources of colour in limited is not going to happen with a single land cycle. I would either alter purity to reward you for spending mana equal to this spells converted mana or spending no mana of this cards cards. If it requires only colourless mana you’re going to need more colourless mana sources at common at a level beyond Oath of the Gatewatch (more lands, artifact sources, coloured sources of colourless.).
Spirit Minister
Creature - Spirit Cleric (C)
Flying
Purity - If you only spent colorless mana to cast Spirit Minister, gain 4 life as it enters the battlefield.
2/2
Reply: This card isn’t worth it for its mono-white costs or hybrid cost as a french vanilla creature and its Purity ability is going to be ridiculously hard to get for a minor reward.
Caora's Defense
Creature - Wall (C)
Defender, flash
When Caora's Defense enters the battlefield, draw a card. The great followers of Caora may take a second step in their faith, and learn to summon the mystical defenses that protect the keeps within the church.
0/2
Reply: I’m fine with this. At WW it isn't strictly better than wall of omens and seems fine.
Caora, Spirit Mistress
Legendary Creature - Spirit Cleric (M)
Lifelink
Other white creatures get +1/+1.
Non-white creatures get -1/-1. "Our world has been drained of its strength, we must help all of the holy devoted."
3/5
Reply: I don’t like your current version of this card. The “non-white creatures get -1/-1” is a white phrexian colour pie bleed and punishes you for playing non-white hybrid creatures in your deck. And with that ability in monowhite deck getting out on turn four is ridicously. I’d make it just a 3/5 Flying Lifelink with “Other creatures you control get +1/+1”. It would still be a bomb without being broken.
Wave's Uproar4U
Instant (C)
Runic 2
Put target creature on top of its owner's library.
Reply: Fine card.
Mekrek, the Wave Scout
Legendary Creature - Merfolk Scout (M)
Hexproof
When Mekrek enters the battlefield, look at the top three cards of your library. You may reveal a instant or sorcery card from among, and put it into your hand. Put the rest back in any order.
Whenever Mekrek deals damage to a player, you may cast an instant or sorcery with converted mana cost three or less from your hand without paying its mana cost. "We may have lost some of our energy, sure, but all the magic I need is beneath the waves."
2/1
Reply: Very powertful. Maybe make it exile the spell you recast or remove the etb trigger.
Bonekeeper Slave3B
Creature - Skeleton (U)
Scavenge 3 (3, Exile this card from your graveyard: Put a number of +1/+1 counters equal to this card's power on target creature. Scavenge only as a Sorcery.) 3: Regenerate Bonekeeper Slave
1/1
Reply: Seems decent although the scavenge seems poor on an expensive 1/1 regenerator whose job is to not die. Maybe make it 2/1?
Queen's Cruelty
Instant (U)
Destroy target non-black creature Those who oppose Seveset will find themselves at the end of her flail.
Reply: Queens Cruelty is heavily underpriced as its gives green and blue creature good removal at four and contradicts your idea of making removal cost 7-8 mana. At least bumps this up to :sym2b:, as it makes black the colour by rewarding black creatures and givng black the best removal spell.
Turn to Riches2B
Sorcery (U)
Target creature gets -3/-3 until the end of the turn. If that creature would die this turn, put a colorless artifact token named Gold onto the battlefield. It has "Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color to your mana pool." "I think I'm going to like this world"
-Lude, the Merchant King
Reply: A good card that promotes the sets theme of ramping for expensive off-colour hybrid cards while rewarding big creatures.
Seveset, Demon Queen
Legendary Creature - Demon Advisor (M)
Flying
When Seveset enters the battlefield, you gain control of a target creature you do not own for as long as you control Seveset.
At the beginning of your upkeep, you lose 5 life and draw a card for each creature you control, but do not own.
6/5
Reply: Again a colour pie bleed. Silumgar stealling component came from blue. At five mana stealing your opponents best creature and getting a 6/5 fliar is a big to good. Maybe change it to “Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, if Seveset demon Queen dealt damage to it this turn, you may return it to the battlefield under your control for as long as you control Seveset, Demon Queen. That creature gains “At the begging of your upkeep, sacrifice this creature unless you pay :sym2b:” or something like that. Black gets to reanimation and it feels like bribing the dead.
Grund's Troops
Sorcery (C)
Put 2 1/1 red Barbarian creature tokens onto the battlefield. "These are my men! They will fight with their lives, and die for me!
Reply: An alright card although I’m not sure what makes this hybrid as the only colour that can’t get this effect for 2 mana is blue. Maybe purity gives you three tokens.
Final Ritual
Sorcery (U)
Add RRR to your mana pool
Reply: A great Johnny card. Just add some expensive red mono hybrids and a creature with fire breathing so you can do something with this.
Grund, the Miniature Warlord
Legendary Creature - Goblin Barbarian (M)
Menace
All Goblins and Barbarians you control must attack each turn if able.
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a 1/1 red Goblin creature token onto the battlefield.
Whenever Grund deals combat damage to a player, you may deal damage equal to the number of Goblins plus the number of Barbarians you control to target creature or player.
1/1
Reply: This is ridiculous on turn one. With Menace to get through a turn one blocker and the goblins lacking haste you can just sneak this through and deal three damage to their lone creature. This needs to be more expensive or lose the last ability which is just the epitomy of win more.
Deadwood Naturalist2G
Creature - Elf Shaman (C) t: Add CC to your mana pool. "This world may fall, but nature lives on."
1/2
Note: Very strong accelerator. It plays well with Purity but the power level looks a bit high for a common. Maybe make it cost one mana to activate.
Deadwood Treefolk
Creature - Treefolk (C)
Purity - If only colorless mana was spent to cast Deadwood Treefolk, it enters the battlefield with four +1/+1 counters on it.
4/4
Note: This Purity is worth the cost and playable for both costs.
Rootnek, Woodland Shaman
Legendary Creature - Human Shaman (M)
When Rootnek enters the battlefield, each player may place up to one basic forest from his or her hand onto the battlefield tapped.
All forests cannot tap for green mana.
All forests gain "t, add CC to your mana pool.
1/3
Note: This card is unfun does way to much and stops basic lands from working, totally shutting down green decks. The card stops both players for playing non-hybrid green cards but gives them a forest. Maybe change it so when a forest becomes tapped for green man it doesn’t untap during its controller next untap step. A blood moon for forest is broken outside this set and even inside it is really unfair. I also don’t see why you need the enter the battle effect.
Ruined Sanctum
Land (C)
Ruined Sanctum enters the battlefield tapped. t: Add W to your mana pool. t, sacrifice Ruined Sanctum: Add CC to your mana pool.
Ruined Harbor
Land (C)
Ruined Harbor enters the battlefield tapped. t: Add U to your mana pool. t, sacrifice Ruined Harbor: Add CC to your mana pool.
Ruined Pit
Land (C)
Ruined Pit enters the battlefield tapped. t: Add B to your mana pool. t, sacrifice Ruined Pit: Add CC to your mana pool.
Ruined Camp
Land (C)
Ruined Camp enters the battlefield tapped. t: Add R to your mana pool. t, sacrifice Ruined Camp: Add CC to your mana pool.
Ruined Wood
Land (C)
Ruined Wood enters the battlefield tapped. t: Add G to your mana pool. t, sacrifice Ruined Wood: Add CC to your mana pool.
Reply: This version of land cycle doesn’t work at enabling purity. Having to sacrifice a land is a MASSIVE cost as you only get to enable purity once and with Queens Cruelty in the set that is rarely worth the risk. You should probably change the cost to return them to their owners hand instead of sacrificing them. You should probably add a second land cycle that don’t enter the battlefield tapped, tap for colourless mana and have second ability as a single land cycle probably won’t be enought to get four or six colourless mana consistently.
Monster Reborn = Should cost 3BB not 2BB. (Zombify was replaced by Rise from the Grave for being undercoated.)
Ryu-Kishin Powered - Should be a lot more expensive. Red doesn't 3/2 for 1R, or a 2 powered flier for 1R; let alone a 3 powered fliar for 1R. Compare it to Impetuous Sun Chaser, Stormfront Pegasus or Shadow Glider to compare what best colour flying (white) gets compared to the second worst (red).
Negate Attack - "Untap target creature and remove it from combat."
Mesmeric control - "Creatures target opponent controls do not untap during that players next untap step. Until the end of that players next turn, he or she cannot tap creatures."
Lord of Dragons - Dragons you control have Shroud.
La Jinn - "Creature - Djinn".
Judge Man - Why not make him white? Also "Human Advisor".
Flute of Summoning Dragon - Doesn't need a tap cost for ability as already sacrificed. "If you control a creature named Lord of Dragons, instead search your library for two dragon creatures, put them onto the battlefield and shuffle your library.". As you are choosing when to play the ability it does not need a "You may". Finally changing the single 1 in the cost to 2/R makes it more elegant.
Gift of the Mystical Elf - "You gain 2 life for each creature on the battlefield".
Grappler - This is formatted as "You may choose not to untap Thalakos Grappler during your untap step." followed by "T: Tap target creature. That creature doesn't untap during its controller's untap step for as long as Grappler remains tapped."
Cyber Jar - This Removes blue weakness of not having destroy effects so make the morph monowhite.
Defense Paralysis - You forgot to include the casting cost.
Crush Card - "Target player sacrifices all creatures he or she controls with 3 or more power, then reveals his or her hand and discards all creature cards with 3 or more power."
Blue Eyes - Could be just White/Blue. It should have Flying and keywords on the top and have "Prevent all damage that would be dealt to dragon creatures you control by creatures with a lower power." (blue flying, white prevents damage, any big rare gets trample and Anihilator is colourless")
I'd be interested in also doing this. Here are some ideas:
- Base the Tribal component off class instead of race. Kamigawa lacks many two-colour races but has multicolour classes. (and rewards all Ninja/Samurai decks which they want to do.)
- Take a slightly more Anime Flavour/Tropes while still keeping it Kamigawa-esque. (Inuyasha/Naruto type)
- Bring back Spiritcraft based off Landfall as Spirit tribal mechanic (+1/+1 until end of turn).
- Revive Arcane spells without bringing back Splice onto Arcane (perhaps a Kindle mechanic variant for Arcane? Or this)
- Include Ninja tribal, more Ninjas and expand Ninjas into red.
- Include Samuria tribal, more Samuria and expand Samuria into more green.
- Probably put in one or more spirit dragons with death triggers (possible several in blue as dragons in japan are associated with water.)
-Try adding avenlikee crow people based on the tengu, probably in black with a little in red (white has Araba moths, blue has Soratami). Resonant due to DD use Tengu.
-Possible make the Kappa turtle folk instead of Merfolk as Merfolk tribal has been done.
Creative:
-Warring states period? Time period post Kami war (A generate to recover, several generations? Immidately).
Mechanics:
-Tribal with one Legendary matters theme.
-If Legendary is a theme perhaps make Double faced variants of flip cards to allow more legendaries.
-Similar make a mechanic that grants those creatures a boost if you control a legendary creature. I would use monument as limited getting a single legendary is hard enough (NAME - If you control a legendary creature, name gets x).
-Or a legend matter spells based of dragon-bonus cards in Dragons of Takirs.
Mechanics to Revive (and my thoughts)
-Soulshift (No, Recursive game states at common)
-Spiritcraft (Yes, NWO compatible with lots of design space, but requires Arcane.)
-Bushido (Maybe, evergreen if not flavour so probably some design space left. NWO compatible)
-Samurai (Yes, the flavour win of playing Samuria)
-Arcane with Splice (No, already done)
-Arcane without Splice (Maybe, backwards compatible and flavour advantage.)
-Shrines (maybe another cycle or do something with the subtype. Sliver Enchantments are cool as are strong uncommon ones)
-A Myojin cycle as god
-Ninjas (Yes)
-Ninjutsu (Maybe, most of the design space already has been mined)
-Ki counters (Ki has great flavour, some resonance but no idea what do with it).
-Patron/OFfering/Champion (Maybe if sufficient tribal, small level rare mechanics)
-Sweep/Channel (Maybe, but need flavour reasons.)
-Wisdom (No)
-Epic (Maybe a single cycle? Very hard to design for)
Summoned Skull, and all others with "This card is treated"
I needed something to put in the text, as they have no flavor, and I don't like making it up. Also, Demon Fiend Arch-Fiend Sounds weird.
Its fine to have Summoned Skull as a vanilla creature.
------------------
I'm not sure you completely understand Eye of truth. Your opponent must play with their hands revealed, but during their upkeep, if they have an instant or sorcery in their hand, they gain X life. (Debating on changing the value. in YGO it's 1000 life points)It's not gain X life for however many instant or sorceries that are in your hand.3 life then maybe?
-I didn't understand the card. However Telepathy gives you the same effect with no life gain for less. And is still considered unplayable.
-----------------
soul release: I think that's pushing it. There are alot of things you can do with exiled creatures that you can't with dead ones. Perhaps 1WB?
You can exile an entire players graveyard for less thanone mana. And its supposed to be easier to interact with dead creatures than exiled ones (unless your an eldrazi processor).
-----------------
Spell Shattering Arrow: I made it 2 hybrids, 2 red, and 2 white. Is this ok?
Compare the red half (Aura Barbs) and the whites half. The amount of mana symbols of each side should be be balanced but you could probably lower the cost to four as in http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=107694 The fact you invented an effect combination magic has never done before shows that this a great custom card.
-----------------
Silver Fang: It's a hybrid mana now. Wolves should be green most of the time IMO.
The problem is that green doesn't get first strike and a hybrid card can't include an ability unless both colours get it. I'd make a gold WG creature and boost it up to 2/2.
-------------
Monster Reborn and all others where you say "return to the battlefield"
Casting is different than moving it to the battlefield.
I know. Its just that Magic is currently trying to use casting triggers as a way to weaken reanimationeffects. The effect is a bit strong but since the card in yugioh is undercoated thats fine.
-----------
Monster recovery: You're supposed to shuffle both the creature and your hand into the deck.
Got it. You might want to merge the two effects to " then shuffle your your hand into your library and draw cards equal to that creatures power."
--------
Kuriboh: in YGO it is a one sided deal. Maybe a small cost would be best.
Hows 2?
In magic preventing damage to your creatures stops them from dying, unlike in yugioh. And preventing all combat damage dealt to your creatures is a great combat trick as it lets them kill your opponents creatures in combat with no risk of dying themselves. In magic this is a much stronger effect that in it is in yugioh. Preventing all combat damage to dealt to Everyone costs a one or two white or green mana while to preventing it for your guys costs three.
--------
Magical hats: Yes. Thats how it goes in YGO. Also, there is good comboing there.
-You've worded it so that if all your tokens die you still get your guy back. And putting cards in your graveyard from your library is a strong effect as you combined with your Grave Digger card to get a really expensive spell out on turn four or a get spells with flashback. (http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Search/Default.aspx?action=advanced&text= [flashback])
-------
Dark Sage: Fix'd, and added some more to his ability.
His second ability is should be "Whenever you cast this card, an instant spell, or a sorcery spell, you may search your library for an instant or sorcery card, reveal it and add it your hand, then shuffle your library."
Both blue and black tutor so that part of the ability is fine. The storm part is broken. With storm you can just play instants and sorceries that add more mana to your mana pool than they cost to get high storm count and tons of mana then use it to kill your opponent playing spells until you get a storm count of ten killing them with a single direct damage spell that storms into 10+ copies. A weaker version of this cards ability called Minds Desire is one the most powerful cards in the game and is banned in multiple formats.
Even without storm this is very powerful. I'd change the ability to put the card ontop of your library instead and remove storm. You can use card draw spells to do ridiculous things without automatically winning the game.
-----------
Burning Land: Enchantment destruction isn't really Red is it? Neither is long lasting life reduction or creature sacrificing. I wanted to make it red, but I didn't want to break the color pie badly.
The second ability should read "that player loses 2 life unless he or she sacrifices a creature."
You could also just make this a land destruction spells instead.
--------------
Blackland dragon doesn't need the reminder text saying its both colours because as a hybrids its already both.
How would you feel if I made a world enchantment that changed the MTG rules into Yugioh Rules lol
-Somewhat possible. It should gives alls creatures Provoke, let players cast noncreature spells without paying their mana costs and "players can only cast a single creature spell each turn". It would be horribly overpowered.
If you're going to continue you might be interested in looking at and adapting Magic version of the trap subtype. The Joey deck is very good as due to being a mainly red deck if feels more like a focused deck that Yugi's which has a lot more colours in it. http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Search/Default.aspx?action=advanced&subtype= [trap] (entire link including trap).
Shield and Sword. Compare Inside out. Should be "Switch target creature's power and toughness until end of turn." and its to weak. It could be 1U or 1R and also let you draw a card. (I'd go with red to make Joeys deck feel more red."
Salamander: should be "If it is a Red Warrior, it gets an additional +1/+0 and "R:+1/+0 until end of turn."
Rock Warrior: you left off the "until end of turn."
Kagemunsha: remove flanking as both no longer used and ridiculouslytoogood (you need four toughness to avoid get killing by a first striker.). Id considered making it WW as white %20[strike]]doesn't get first striking 2/* for 1W, only for WW.
Graverobber: I'd make it pay all the life as an additional cost and "You may cast target instant or sorcery card from an opponent's graveyard without paying its mana cost." Compare to Memory Plunder.
Kunai with Chain - "When this card is turned face up, target creature can't block this turn" as Red doesn't tap stuff.
Copycat - The X should *. I'd base the wording on Clone "You may have Copycat enter the battlefield with the same base power and toughness as another creature on the battlefield."
Destroyer Golem - Damaging opponent triggered abilities now give you both the effect and the damage. Id also put a red mana in the cost to stop black/blue decks getting access to artefact destruction.
Flame Swordsman: Red does not get Vigilance.
Dragon Nails - Could make it an Aura. Should read "If the equipped creature is a dragon, it gets +2/+0 instead."
Baby Dragon - A bit good for red. Comapare Goblin Sky Raider (2R 2/1 Flying), Goblin Gluider (a 1R 1/1 flier that can't block) and a Dragon Hatchling (a 1/R 0/1 Flier with Firebreathing).
This is a lot better than your LOTR set. The only major recurring problems are:
-Not writing out activated abilities as "Cost, Tap:"
-Putting First Strike on Green and Double Strike on Green. White and Red are the First/Double Strike colours, not Red/Green.
Summoned Skull - You can just put "Arch-Fiend" in the creature type line instead.
Winged Dragon makes more sense in blue or red. And is a bit strong for a Wind Drake
Yugi has no mana cost. You need a mana cost to play a nonland card. And the second ability feels feels mean for Yugi.
The Eye of Truth. - Should be WU as blue doesn't gain life. Also you should lower the number gained to 2 (imagine your opponent goes first and you have a 4 mana instant or sorcery in hand. They play this on second turn and quickly good up to 35 or more life.)
Soul Release - You can lower the cost to WB.
Swords of Vanishing LIght -A bit wordy. You could just it give it vanishing and make it an enchant player that stops enchanted players creatures from attacking. This card could be mono-white.
TIme Wizard- why not "and you may put a time counter on a Dark Magician you control."
Spell Shattering Arrow = Great. Maybe make the cost symmetrical
Shift - Great card.
Rude Kaiser - Fine card
Silver Fang. Should be white. Green does not get first strike.
Monster Reborn - Why not just "return target creature card in a graveyard to the battlefield under your control.
Mammoth Graveyard. A bit too good for 1 black drop. Maybe give it "This creature can't block" for flavour and to weaken it. Also the template is gold despite only costing black.
Mystic Box - Should make giving your opponent a creature an "As an additional cost". As is you can play it with zero creatures.
Mystical Elf - Should read "When Mystic Elf dies, you gain 5 life."
Monster Recover - If your trying to keep the creature in your hand make it shuffle your hand into your library first. If not make it shuffle the creature from battlefield first, then shuffle your hand, then draw the cards. And as an instant its a great combat trick.
Makiu - Maybe change to "target black and red creature you control".
Kuriboh - It should prevent ALL combat as otherwise a free one-sides combat trick. And you should pay W/B when you discard it as ability still a bit to food if free.
Magical Hats - Great. Is there a need to exile the cards from your library though?
Koumori Dragon - You can just write Dragon Demon in the creature type.
Horn of the Unicorn: Should be: and "WWW: This creature gains Indestructible this turn". Is there a reason for it to go ontop of your library? And couldn't the cost be 2/W hybrid man so any colour can use it?
Horn Imp - Great.
Gaia the Fierce Knight - Why is this card RG instead of RW.
Griffore. Should be "G, T.". Also looks pretty powerful.
De-Spell -Good.
Feral Imp - Should be BB. 1B black creatures are not usually that stong.
Dark Magician - The ability is mono-blue except the cost and gold cards should have attributes of both colours. Maybe give it "you may sacrifice two creatures rather than pay dark magicians mana cost".
Dark Sage. - It a dead card in your opening hard and really hard to get out. Ether raise the mana cost but make it free if you sacrifice the dark magician OR you put it into play from outside the game by sacricing the dark magician. That way you can still get it out and its worth including in your deck
Catapult Turtle - You could probably make it monoblue to cast (1UU), keep the red activated ability and get rid of the "half its power rounded down". Also should be "1R, T:"
Curse of Dragon - Great. I'd make it 4/2 or 2BB as its quite strong for its cost.
Burning Land - The Flavour of burning card without red feels wrong.
Breath of life - Does not feel white or work as written. Maybe WU name a creature type then destroy all creatures with the chosen type or "As addition cost to cast Breath of Life sacrifice a creature."
Dark Hole - Why not just make it a spell that destroys all creatures. Also for flavour reasons this card makes more sense as a White-Black card.
Brain Control - The temporary steal effect is currently primary red while stealing is blue. Make it 1BR instead.
Book of Secret Arts - There is no need to say "This ability can only be played by the owner of this card". Also you could make it colourless to cast to make with unicorn horn.
Blackland Dragon - A bit too good for its cost. You could make it B/R B/R B/R to both make it feel black red and make it 'weaker' (black gets good fliers for BBB, red dragon bonus means a 3/2 dragon for RRR is accceptibe.
Black Luster Ritual - You may search your graveyard, hand and/or library for a card name Black Luster Solider and put it onto the battlefield. If you searched your library this way, shuffle it. (Dark Supplicant)
Eldrazi
-Changing Ingest is a very good idea. But if all Eldrazi have Ingest why not also give Ingest the Devoid ability. (This card is colourless. Whenever it attacks, exiles the top card of defending players colourless.)
-Keywording Spew doesn't seem to do anything but make card but make the cards wordier. Maybe just put it on noncreatures and add devoid rider it. (this card is colourless. When you cast it, put a 1/1 Eldrazi Scion token onto the battlefield).
-The processors mechanic was a great idea.
-Your mechanic of whenever an ingestor exiles a nonland card was a good example of new design space. I would change to it "exiles a land card" for flavour reasons and expand upon it.
-Coloured Eldrazi with a pale border feel wrong. The change was a major flavour lose.
Allies
-Unity is broken! Get rid of it. It makes growing your creatures far to easily.
-Unity doesn't meet your goal of making cards feel like allies as makes focus on race/class and is much harder to track than rally.
-To answer the complaint of what makes an ally an ally, using Battle Cry as secondary mechanic on non-rally Allies in the set.
Zendikar
- Landfall is ridiculously overpowered on small creatures (e.g. Scythe Tiger). And by focusing on basic land types, you ruin limited by discouraging people from playing nonbasic lands/multicolour decks. The flavour is also off as it makes the Zendikari feel divided. It also makes cards with landfall more wordy.
- The set feels weird with only a remnant of Awaken remaining. Awaken has great flavour and is simpler to learn than Hedronize due to its great consistence.
- Hedronise was either is either "X is equal to the number of lands you control" or "Affinity for Lands". This, combined with inconsinent templates between cards made Hedronise cards hard to learn as knowing what did on one card didn't help you now what did elsewhere.
- Hedronise is a worse mana sink mechanic than awaken. Either its makes spell near free late game with nothing for you to spend man on (Affinity), or it combos negatively with Scions spawning midgame (mana rarely equals land counts).
Big Picture:
-Landfall and Unity turn the game into solitaire with Unity creatures sitting back block while 4/3 power 1-2 drops swing.
-Putting Spew everywhere will produced massive amounts of ramping.
-The sets power level is much higher than Canon BFZ.
-Most of the set works fine. Just focus on Fixing the Eldrazi and Allies. The ingesting a card gives you Scion, New Processor mechanic and using Battle Cry to mark non-rally allies are what should be focusing on. The Affinity for Lands/X is the number of lands you control, on the other hand needs more work.
Card by Card
Akoum Firebird
-lost the must attack trigger so now it feels too defensive for red. The new landfall is more complicated that it used to be. Maybe same cost (3RR) but etb tapped if you didn't play a mountain. Slightly worse.
Drana - This version of Drana has the broken unity ability, the shaman type makes it wordier. Deathtouch and first strike make her a near perfect defence and Unity it completely broken on her. I prefer the canon Drana massively.
Greenwarden - Since it haste and vigilance, does net the etb/upkeep ability when you could just change the second ability to also animate the land.
-Worse
-Kiora. (The 0 ability is better on her than on Nissa. The +1 ability feels not monogreen and is slightly to wordy. Should be one thing and Ophidian ability)
Ob Nixilis - Love his new ultimate.
-Great
Oblivion sower - Your changes are exessively wordy and repeated land destruction is not fun with a card you can get out on turn 4 Zendikar limited. Why not either an Ingest + version of canon Or an Ingest Process that lets you put 3 exiled lands an opponent controls onto the battlefield end of each turn?
-Worse
Omnath. Great concept. I would make the token making ability require RG mana though.
-Great.
Part the Waterviel - Different but seems really risky and dangerous. Its either trash or broken. Maybe just it give affinity for lands instead.
-Worse
Quarantine Field. - A bit wordy. Maybe bump exiling cost up to two counters and get rid of middle ability. Great for killing
-Good
Sire of Stagnation. - As an Eldrazi should be exiling the sorceries/instants from an "opponents" hand or graveyard/library. The card us good but the flavour feels off.
-Great
Ulamog - Interesting change. Both versions of it good. Maybe replace ingest with milling top ten cards of their library though. And Ulamog should exile more cards than Bane of Bala Ged.
-Great.
Undergrowth Champion - Your changes are fine but it should have even power/toughness.
-Great.
Void Winnower - I prefer the cannon version much more. This is really hard to remove with hexproof. I feel then 0/10 10 life and growing whenever exile should be different cards. (maybe this card 0/10 that deals damage equal to its toughness and etb 10 life).
-Potential to be improved.
Adverse Conditions. - Good change as makes the number tapped and Scions match up. And nice flavour text even though the stuff isn't actually ice.
-Great.
Akoum Hellike - 1/1 tokens should not be called dragons!!!! And you made better.
-Potential to Improve
Akoum Stoneweaver . - Prowess and this landfall ability is to good together. Even without prowess this landfall ability is to strong. The canon card was a much better concept.
-Worse.
Aligned Hedron Network - Interesting idea but not as interesting as the original.
-Worse
Ally Encampments third ability makes less sense without rally and antisynergy with Unity.
Angel of Renewal. - Okay. Hedonize ability good change but should have even base power/toughness. Unity not broken on this.
-Potential to Improve
Angelic captain -Battle cry and haste-vigilance an interesting change but the pt are off for white/red. Both Unity and the original version attack trigger are parasitic and off.
-Potential to Improve.
Bane of Bala Ged - Interesting change but slightly wordier. Maybe remove cast trigger an just attack trigger combo with Ingest OR when cast exiles a card and + when exiles a nonland card that player sacrifices a creature. The toughness need to be five in canon version for power level reasons but maybe here its alright.
-Potential to improve.
-Barrage Tyrant. The power boost is a massive improvment, as you can sacirifice one barrage tyrant to the second one. Maybe lower power back to five and let ability also trigger of attacking to combine with ingest.
-Good
Beastcaller Servant. - Broken with Unity.
-Worse
Belligerent Whiptail. Very powerful and encourages monored but not as broken as other landfall pumps.
-Potential to Improve.
Benthic Infiltrator. Interesting change. Why not keep at 1/4 though?
-Good
Blight Herder - Why not make it more like canon where it process 3 cards into 3 scions? Still a good card.
-Good
Blighted lands should produce CC instead of 1C. And they should just produce 1 so a hand of blighted lands lets you cast things. (note: shadowmoor lands).
-Worse
Blisterpod. - why not a G 1/1 with Ingest and death trigger. Green makes more sense than black in this niche. And why sacrifice trigger 4 instead of 1G?
-Potential to improve/
Bloodbound vampire. A 2BB lifelink 3/4 Vampire seems a bit to good at common.
-Worse.
Boiling Earth - This mechanic is affinity for lands, not Hedronize. And now red has no way of killing all Scions. It should divide damage amony any number of target creatures or players.
-Worse.
Breaker of Armies - The original had more flavour. As 10/10 who kills all opponents weak creatures an army cant trade with him en mass. To powerful.
-Worse
Brilliant Spectrum. Great card. Maybe Scry X then draw a card instead. Better then canon.
-Great.
Bring to Light. - Great card. Maybe bump cost up to six as stronger than original.
-Great
Brood Butcher - Interesting change. I would change the casting trigger to producing two scions instead.
-Good
Brood Monitor - EtB should changed to cast for consistence. And the base pt should be 3/3 like canon as a bit to good otherwise.
-Good
Brutal Explusion - you changed the name to explosion. This card is ridiculously undercosted with both Spew and killing a creature. The second ability should not deal 7 damage as that is way too much for a red burn spell (4 damage at most).
-Worse.
Call the Scions. - Scry makes this to wordy. Fine without Scry. Produce token and filtering draws to find your Eldrazi is very powerful in limited.
-Good
Carrier Thrall - Should not be a common.
-Good
Catacomb Sifter - you change the second ability to make it stronger and clash with third ability death triggering. And as Eldrazi should be cast instead of etb.
-Worse
Chasm Guide - Good way for showing off new mechanics.
-Good
Cliffside Lookout - Broken.Get three of them in your opening hand and you win easily.
-Broken/Worse
Clutch the Currents - Good adaption.
-Great
Coastal Discover - This should be Affinity for lands. A bit strong so maybe Uncommon.
-Great.
Complete Disregard - Bump cost up as turn 3 two for one is a bit to good.
-Potential to Improve
Conduit of Ruin. - Prefered the original to this one. The second ability was a great part of its charm and without Devoid in set should just be "Eldrazi card". At 6 a 5/6 that replaces itself is a bit to good.
-Worse
Coralhelm Guide - Unity is Broken. Good without Unity.
-Broken
Crumble to dust. - More powerful but more wordy and at same cost. Probably bump cost up.
-Worse
Cryptic Cruiser - Ability should only tap a single creature. Maybe keep a 3/3?
-Good
Culling Drone - Similar to carrier thrall. Make it a 2/2 with only Ingest and no spew.
-Worse
Deathless Behemoth - With Scion sacrifices to bring him out is a bit to good at generating card advantage.
-Worse.
Defiant Broodlord - Interestign changes but now more complicated. Does it need card drawing ability?
-Good.
Desolation Twin - Minor flavourful change. Shame about the flavour text.
-Great.
Dominator Drone - Good Mechanical change.
-Great
Desna Emissary - Broken. Even without unity alot bber than original.
-Worse
Drowner of Hope - When you cast could either exile the top two cards of target players library or produce two scions?
-Good
Dust Stalker - Interesting new card but just feels like a generic fatty with Ingest. Ridiculously powerful though (exile blockers, haste and menace)
-Good
Earthern Arm - Why not X +1/+1 counter, where X is the number of lands you control.
-Good
Eldrazi Devastor - Why the exile four card trigger?
-Improve
Eldrazi Skyspawner - Great adaptation
-Great
Encircling Fissure - Decent Adapation
-Good
Endless One - Ability feel abit random. And with +1/+1 counter should have even base pt. Why not make it so whenever a card get exiled gets a +1/+1 counter.
-Potential to Improve
Exert Influence - As Hedronize is stronger than Converge I would make it cost 5U.
-Good
Your set was great and was fully of many successes. This review is mostly flavor changes, minor edits and color pie related. Your only significant problems were:
1 - You do not need remainder text for evergreen keywords. This was a mainly a problem in back where remainder text applied inconsistently. (menace, intimidate, protection.)
2 - Gold cards should feel Gold and should not be printable as a mono-color card. (Angelfire Corona, Frost Wolf, Glacial Barrier, Taysir Sorceress).
3 - Meteor Shower is a color pie mistake. Green can only damage fliers and red is supposed to have problems with high toughness. 10 damage is to high.
4 - I do not believe Sweeping Seizure works within the rules without first exiling the cards you findand letting you play them from exile.
5 - You gave Red trample more frequently than you gave it to Green. Possibly switch some of those instances of trample to Relentless and make the cards slightly lower power/toughness to compensate.
Minor Things:
1 -The creature that get boosts when you discard a card feel like they should get +1/+1 instead of +1/+0
2 - Occasional Channel Cards that don't mirror the creatures effect when channeled. (Dragirs Chosen, Pack of Wolves)
3 -Channel should be either cheaper discard for an effect on the card OR discard for a bigger effect. Having a mix of both may feel slightly strange.
4 - Some minor word choices and minor color pie issues.
Your set has high power level which you knew. You need to test Hex and Intensify as they are potentially broken in the limited environment you want to create. Relentless is very good and is potentially broken in limited with Hex cards that boost power.U have found several possibly overpowered cards but I am otherwise unsure of color balance. Possible template and power level examples are below.
White
Beedevil should "exile target creature with a power or toughness of 3 or less".
Draighirs Chosen should exile target enchantment when it dies to match channel and answer Hex.
Combat Medics channel ability should match its static ability. "W, Discard; Prevent the next 3 damage that would be dealt to target creature or player this turn.
Skynet Griffen is pretty strong and potential Lava Axe (flying that shuts down attacks) that shuts down 1/1 and 2/2 attackers.
I feel Sublime Believer and Warden on the Omnipresent should swap rarities as white is not supposed to get many big creatures. Also swap Sublime Believers PT. This cycle feels out of place as it feels far to much like the "Exalted" mechanic you removed, and clashes with whites enchantment matters mechanic. for space. It think these might be better if you saved them for a set with Exalted.
Tenacious Disciple should have channel cost of 2W instead of 1WW as the Disciples needs only a single W in their converted mana cost. Maybe make channel only effect a single creature an alter accordingly.
People will be tempted to play Thariel Purists as though it has "Protection from enchantments you don't control.". Maybe change it to that. (WotC turned Shroud became Hex-proof for this reason).
Champion of End Times should exile creatures and all permanents attached to creatures when it dies as well to match channel with ability.
Mirror Sentry looks really good and potentially broken. Test it,
Perptual Vitality. Perhaps when it return put a +1/+1 counter on up to three target creatures you control so it feels more white and less green. Also the card will rarely end up in your graveyard.
Imperois Vision: Could it be worded as "Then return it either to the battlefield under its owners control or to its owners hand.
Thuvius the Omnipresent: Due to precedent it should say "Players can't cast spells during combat.". Red was fairer than that when it had the mechanic.
Darkcloud Raptor - Check with Intensity 3 instead. With 4 it does 2-3-4 damage to players without flying.
Pupill of Destiny. Maybe match up channel?
Ancient of Atmosphere. With Hex very good. With Brobdigan Stature in the set the putting the aura onto the battlefield for free risks being broken. And 2/3 is more blue than a 3/2.
Evolving Illusion - keeping track of which ability you haven chosen raises board complexity. Maybe make a base 2/2 who EtB with 2 +1/+1 counters if flying, 1 +1/+1 if hexproof so if entwine gets 3 +1/+1 counters.
Never Ending Serpent. Intensity looks way to high. Dies at turn 14. Feels more green than blue.
Power of Replication - Dangerous with Intensify creatures as removes the drawback by stacking triggers during upkeep to turn into something without Intensify before the last +1/+1 counter ability resolves.
Clairvoyant heroes ability to ruin opponents draws looks very unfun in limited if got out on turn 2 as you can see if mana screwed or flooded and act accordingly. Late games equally devastating by denying them nonlands.
Sweeping seizure should exile the cards found just after options, followed by the "You may cast" ability. that way cards go somewhere you can play them from. Spelljack and all other play without paying mana cost work this way.
void leverage. Remove the haste granting as bleed from red. Blue doesn't do it anymore.
Sorestruss. Blue rarely gets trample and this card doesn't need it with evasion and lockdown ability.
Maybe when Festering hulk dies it gives a -1/-1 counter to match abilities.
Slayer of Myth - Remove Intimidates flavor text as evergreen. The card Feels like he should have deathtouch as well to match Planeswalker killing. Possible replace Intimidate with Menace?
Two Headed Plaguehound - Menace is evergreen. You don't need remainder text.
Unholy Charm - Remove Intimidate or replace it with Menace. (Intidate works on creatures colour so more confusing and as good as match up colours)
Patron of Misery - does not remaninder text for protection from black. Should read "whenever you put a +1/+1 counter on Patron of Misery, other creatures get -x/-x until end of turn were X is the number of +1/+1 on Patron of Misery."
Sweeping Misery - is there any point playing this after turn six "target player sacrifices 5 creatures".
Venal Apostle - Does he really need the "at random" clause. Great anyway/
Ataluk the necrolord could be worded as "that was put there this turn from the battlefield"?
Kugerian - No "0: Regenerat". At least make it B or 1. Still very powerful on the play on turn 3. He has three power, is almost impossible to kill and steals chump blockers. The arts empty background looks really bad and possibly swap with Infernal Curr, Photoshop a new background or find new art.
Does Armed Brigand need haste. Its already pretty good. If anything replace haste with "attacks each turn if able." (turn 1 armed brigand, turned 2 lightning infusion, hurts alots.)
-if need haste give it to ghoulish goblin.
Lumbering Ogre - most players dislike coin flipping. Consider this as reason WotC doesn't use this mechanic at common.
Warden of Indignation is dangerous. A 2/3 doesn't feel red. The card should be uncommon to make it and lightning infusion (maddening visions) combo harder. The cost should probably be 1RR (compare with Two Headed Cerebus a canon 1RR Double Striking 1/2 common and Boros Swiftblade.
Discerning Highpaw - Why not change to just "except the first one he or she drew this turn, Discerning Highpaw deals 1 damage to that player". Less wordy and in practise the same effect.
Rampaging Manticore - has wings, does not fly. Causes confusion according to MaRo.
Alpine Espirit - see the kamigawa Genju cycle. Could be uncommon.
Dynamite Courier too good for red. Maybe change second ability "when it becomes blocked, sacrifice it at the end of combat." or sacrifice without doing damage. His drawback really isn't one and a R 2/2 Relentess creature is to good for red.
Foolish Ritualist also too good. It replaces itself, does 4 damage to opponent and usually trades with a creature. And if it survives more than one turn winning becomes more or less impossible.
Sweeping Quake - Should deal damage to creatures without flying, not destroy them. Red either gets destroy all creatures or damage all nonfliers. It deals damage to creatures and can deal Y damage to each creature without flying.
Aurions automatic defense is a little strong.
Abound is in-elegant and should probably by +2/+2. Same possibly applies for green Intensift creatures with nonmatching power and toughness as makes calculations take longer (This is why */* is prefered to */*+1)
Aroma-Sensing Hound could just be a creature with flash and EtB card drawing. As a token its not as powerful and cards look better than tokens on the battlefield. Also should not be called Hound in the name as its a wolf, not a hound.
Cave spider is a functional reprint of Canopy Spider. Why not just reprint Canopy Spider and mention the canopy is dark. This align flavor with Spider Inspirit. And you did reprint terramorphic expanse.
Fade to antiquity feels to white. Since green needs a Hex answer, maybe destroy an artifact or enchantment, then remove all artifacts and enchantment in controllers graveyard from the game (or then remove an artifact or enchantment in that players graveyard from the game.)
Magical Clash - Have you considered the Fungusaur style wording (- Fight. Then put a +1/+1 counter on each of those creature.) If they're dead they don't get stronger and there less memory issues than waiting for the end step.
Maturing Wolf is very big for a maturing wolf. Maybe call it mature wolf as its larger than almost every other wolf in the set. And probably reduce the Intensify number as by turn nine will rarely matter in limited. Or 3/3 pt for elegance.
Fungal Wolf has reach makes no flavor/Vorthos sense. Maybe swap text with Highpaw lookout (fungus gives life, lookout has reach and deathtouch if enchanted?)
Maybe swap art for Hook Parasite and Monstrousity of Deepwood as HP has flying in the art but lacks flying/reach. MD has reach but is on the ground.
Pack of Wolves channel feels off as better than the creature itself and does not match the cards non channel ability. Maybe etb gives you a wolf for each creature you control instead of attack trigger. Or channel gives each creature +x/0+ for each wolf control until end of turn as channel feels like should match text.
Wolf hunt feels like it should work the other way (two of your creatures fight an opponents creature, theme of your wolves banding together to hunt single enemy.)
Aluria two abilities don't match. Either playing a creature gives your all creatures +1/+1 counters, OR aura gives Aluria and enchanted creature +1/+1.
Brobdigan Stature does not need trample. Its enough of a limited bomb. Maybe switch it to a fight trigger.
Farhaven Beast Callings the two sentences should be on separate lines. The second line should read "Until end of turn, whenever a wolf creature blocks, it gains +2/+2 until end of turn."
Growth Sappling - change to "that creatures +1/+1 counters on Growth Sappling". Card drawing ability could be made more coostly or dropped, the card is already pretty good without it.
Ranshil is great but does it really need the "can't be blocked by more than creature" ability as well as flying?
Palatial Hydra is AWESOME but with no palace in art maybe give it a better name? Judging by art maybe Cloudbreaker Hydra?
Angelfire Corona could be monowhite. Maybe give Haste as well.
Frostwolf could also be monowhite without channel ability and white gets instants that give +2/+3 and lifelink. Maybe add trample to creature and the channel.
Maybe tweak Auramancer boost to +2/+2 for each aura instead +3/+3. With Hex you should be getting auras on it without any of the the card disadvantage costs you'd normally have.
Glacial Barricade doesn't feel blue with exile ability being white despite good in limited. (shuts down aggro) Maybe shift dying ability to freezing ", tap up to X target creatures where X is the number of +1/+1 counters on GC. Those creature don't
Hellfire. Black is secondary in haste so doesn't feel red enough. To stop feeling like a black card with red activated ability maybe you should give it Firebreathing. It should not have both trample and relentless. Maybe remove haste/trample and just give it firebreathing and relentless. The relentless ability shouldn't compete the shade.
Meteor blast breaks the colour pie. Green does not get nonflying creature destruction and reds weakness is high toughness creatures. Shift it to only hitting a creature with flying or a fireball/hurricane variant if possible or something? (destroy target creature with flying (G). Meteor blast deals damage equal to its power to its controller and each other creature they control (R) - 5 damage divided among number of creatures without flying (red), 5 damage divided among number of players and creatures with flying (green). - Or give it the allurian arrows ability.
Rewrite History's creature exiling imbalances it towards white and same set as champion of end days. Maybe destroy creature and exile all auras and artifact.
Taysir Sorceress does not feel blue due to blue losing the Prodigal Sorcerer ability. Make add taping to the Tim ability. Maybe make it "T: tap up target creature. Taysir sorceress deals damage equal to the number of +1/+1 counters on it to that creature.
Virulent Murkdrivers channel ability and main ability don't match. Make first ability exile all cards or make Channel remove two.
Land and Artifacts
Automated Contrapation dearg trigger and channel don't match. When it dies it should put a CARD in your graveyard on top of your library so both recur self or another card.
Demonic Hellsword is awesome.
Could Uncontrolled obelisk activated ability refer to X in the cost? - I am also very wary of letting the Intesnify creature grow indefinitely.
Garded Passage can lose "and Gaurden Passage isuntapped". Makes it less wordy and make no practical different (if tapped animation useless).
Why is Anaba Ruins red. Why not give colourless mana so less tied to colour identity/strong. Already looks very powerful.
-For Purity did you mean paying the spells convert mana cost (generic cost) or spending only colourless mana to cast it? Because getting four or more sources of colour in limited is not going to happen with a single land cycle. I would either alter purity to reward you for spending mana equal to this spells converted mana or spending no mana of this cards cards. If it requires only colourless mana you’re going to need more colourless mana sources at common at a level beyond Oath of the Gatewatch (more lands, artifact sources, coloured sources of colourless.).
Spirit Minister
Creature - Spirit Cleric (C)
Flying
Purity - If you only spent colorless mana to cast Spirit Minister, gain 4 life as it enters the battlefield.
2/2
Reply: This card isn’t worth it for its mono-white costs or hybrid cost as a french vanilla creature and its Purity ability is going to be ridiculously hard to get for a minor reward.
Caora's Defense
Creature - Wall (C)
Defender, flash
When Caora's Defense enters the battlefield, draw a card.
The great followers of Caora may take a second step in their faith, and learn to summon the mystical defenses that protect the keeps within the church.
0/2
Reply: I’m fine with this. At WW it isn't strictly better than wall of omens and
Caora, Spirit Mistress
Legendary Creature - Spirit Cleric (M)
Lifelink
Other white creatures get +1/+1.
Non-white creatures get -1/-1.
"Our world has been drained of its strength, we must help all of the holy devoted."
3/5
Reply: I don’t like your current version of this card. The “non-white creatures get -1/-1” is a white phrexian colour pie bleed and punishes you for playing non-white hybrid creatures in your deck. And with that ability in monowhite deck getting out on turn four is ridicously. I’d make it just a 3/5 Flying Lifelink with “Other creatures you control get +1/+1”. It would still be a bomb without being broken.
Wave's Uproar 4U
Instant (C)
Runic 2
Put target creature on top of its owner's library.
Reply: Fine card.
Mekrek, the Wave Scout
Legendary Creature - Merfolk Scout (M)
Hexproof
When Mekrek enters the battlefield, look at the top three cards of your library. You may reveal a instant or sorcery card from among, and put it into your hand. Put the rest back in any order.
Whenever Mekrek deals damage to a player, you may cast an instant or sorcery with converted mana cost three or less from your hand without paying its mana cost.
"We may have lost some of our energy, sure, but all the magic I need is beneath the waves."
2/1
Reply: Very powertful. Maybe make it exile the spell you recast or remove the etb trigger.
Bonekeeper Slave 3B
Creature - Skeleton (U)
Scavenge 3 (3, Exile this card from your graveyard: Put a number of +1/+1 counters equal to this card's power on target creature. Scavenge only as a Sorcery.)
3: Regenerate Bonekeeper Slave
1/1
Reply: Seems decent although the scavenge seems poor on an expensive 1/1 regenerator whose job is to not die. Maybe make it 2/1?
Queen's Cruelty
Instant (U)
Destroy target non-black creature
Those who oppose Seveset will find themselves at the end of her flail.
Reply: Queens Cruelty is heavily underpriced as its gives green and blue creature good removal at four and contradicts your idea of making removal cost 7-8 mana. At least bumps this up to
Turn to Riches 2B
Sorcery (U)
Target creature gets -3/-3 until the end of the turn. If that creature would die this turn, put a colorless artifact token named Gold onto the battlefield. It has "Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color to your mana pool."
"I think I'm going to like this world"
-Lude, the Merchant King
Reply: A good card that promotes the sets theme of ramping for expensive off-colour hybrid cards while rewarding big creatures.
Seveset, Demon Queen
Legendary Creature - Demon Advisor (M)
Flying
When Seveset enters the battlefield, you gain control of a target creature you do not own for as long as you control Seveset.
At the beginning of your upkeep, you lose 5 life and draw a card for each creature you control, but do not own.
6/5
Reply: Again a colour pie bleed. Silumgar stealling component came from blue. At five mana stealing your opponents best creature and getting a 6/5 fliar is a big to good. Maybe change it to “Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, if Seveset demon Queen dealt damage to it this turn, you may return it to the battlefield under your control for as long as you control Seveset, Demon Queen. That creature gains “At the begging of your upkeep, sacrifice this creature unless you pay
Grund's Troops
Sorcery (C)
Put 2 1/1 red Barbarian creature tokens onto the battlefield.
"These are my men! They will fight with their lives, and die for me!
Reply: An alright card although I’m not sure what makes this hybrid as the only colour that can’t get this effect for 2 mana is blue. Maybe purity gives you three tokens.
Final Ritual
Sorcery (U)
Add RRR to your mana pool
Reply: A great Johnny card. Just add some expensive red mono hybrids and a creature with fire breathing so you can do something with this.
Grund, the Miniature Warlord
Legendary Creature - Goblin Barbarian (M)
Menace
All Goblins and Barbarians you control must attack each turn if able.
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a 1/1 red Goblin creature token onto the battlefield.
Whenever Grund deals combat damage to a player, you may deal damage equal to the number of Goblins plus the number of Barbarians you control to target creature or player.
1/1
Reply: This is ridiculous on turn one. With Menace to get through a turn one blocker and the goblins lacking haste you can just sneak this through and deal three damage to their lone creature. This needs to be more expensive or lose the last ability which is just the epitomy of win more.
Deadwood Naturalist 2G
Creature - Elf Shaman (C)
t: Add CC to your mana pool.
"This world may fall, but nature lives on."
1/2
Note: Very strong accelerator. It plays well with Purity but the power level looks a bit high for a common. Maybe make it cost one mana to activate.
Deadwood Treefolk
Creature - Treefolk (C)
Purity - If only colorless mana was spent to cast Deadwood Treefolk, it enters the battlefield with four +1/+1 counters on it.
4/4
Note: This Purity is worth the cost and playable for both costs.
Rootnek, Woodland Shaman
Legendary Creature - Human Shaman (M)
When Rootnek enters the battlefield, each player may place up to one basic forest from his or her hand onto the battlefield tapped.
All forests cannot tap for green mana.
All forests gain "t, add CC to your mana pool.
1/3
Note: This card is unfun does way to much and stops basic lands from working, totally shutting down green decks. The card stops both players for playing non-hybrid green cards but gives them a forest. Maybe change it so when a forest becomes tapped for green man it doesn’t untap during its controller next untap step. A blood moon for forest is broken outside this set and even inside it is really unfair. I also don’t see why you need the enter the battle effect.
Ruined Sanctum
Land (C)
Ruined Sanctum enters the battlefield tapped.
t: Add W to your mana pool.
t, sacrifice Ruined Sanctum: Add CC to your mana pool.
Ruined Harbor
Land (C)
Ruined Harbor enters the battlefield tapped.
t: Add U to your mana pool.
t, sacrifice Ruined Harbor: Add CC to your mana pool.
Ruined Pit
Land (C)
Ruined Pit enters the battlefield tapped.
t: Add B to your mana pool.
t, sacrifice Ruined Pit: Add CC to your mana pool.
Ruined Camp
Land (C)
Ruined Camp enters the battlefield tapped.
t: Add R to your mana pool.
t, sacrifice Ruined Camp: Add CC to your mana pool.
Ruined Wood
Land (C)
Ruined Wood enters the battlefield tapped.
t: Add G to your mana pool.
t, sacrifice Ruined Wood: Add CC to your mana pool.
Reply: This version of land cycle doesn’t work at enabling purity. Having to sacrifice a land is a MASSIVE cost as you only get to enable purity once and with Queens Cruelty in the set that is rarely worth the risk. You should probably change the cost to return them to their owners hand instead of sacrificing them. You should probably add a second land cycle that don’t enter the battlefield tapped, tap for colourless mana and have second ability as a single land cycle probably won’t be enought to get four or six colourless mana consistently.
Saggi - "attacks, you may pay 1UU".
Polymerization - The frame should be colourless to match the cost.
Negative energy generator - have "G: Add B to your mana pool". Does the need to be aura?
Shadow Spell - Should by U/B instead of W/B. Its also underpowered compared to tightening coils or Pin to the Earth.
Monster Reborn = Should cost 3BB not 2BB. (Zombify was replaced by Rise from the Grave for being undercoated.)
Ryu-Kishin Powered - Should be a lot more expensive. Red doesn't 3/2 for 1R, or a 2 powered flier for 1R; let alone a 3 powered fliar for 1R. Compare it to Impetuous Sun Chaser, Stormfront Pegasus or Shadow Glider to compare what best colour flying (white) gets compared to the second worst (red).
Negate Attack - "Untap target creature and remove it from combat."
Mesmeric control - "Creatures target opponent controls do not untap during that players next untap step. Until the end of that players next turn, he or she cannot tap creatures."
Lord of Dragons - Dragons you control have Shroud.
La Jinn - "Creature - Djinn".
Judge Man - Why not make him white? Also "Human Advisor".
Flute of Summoning Dragon - Doesn't need a tap cost for ability as already sacrificed. "If you control a creature named Lord of Dragons, instead search your library for two dragon creatures, put them onto the battlefield and shuffle your library.". As you are choosing when to play the ability it does not need a "You may". Finally changing the single 1 in the cost to 2/R makes it more elegant.
Gift of the Mystical Elf - "You gain 2 life for each creature on the battlefield".
Grappler - This is formatted as "You may choose not to untap Thalakos Grappler during your untap step." followed by "T: Tap target creature. That creature doesn't untap during its controller's untap step for as long as Grappler remains tapped."
Cyber Jar - This Removes blue weakness of not having destroy effects so make the morph monowhite.
Defense Paralysis - You forgot to include the casting cost.
Crush Card - "Target player sacrifices all creatures he or she controls with 3 or more power, then reveals his or her hand and discards all creature cards with 3 or more power."
Blue Eyes - Could be just White/Blue. It should have Flying and keywords on the top and have "Prevent all damage that would be dealt to dragon creatures you control by creatures with a lower power." (blue flying, white prevents damage, any big rare gets trample and Anihilator is colourless")
- Base the Tribal component off class instead of race. Kamigawa lacks many two-colour races but has multicolour classes. (and rewards all Ninja/Samurai decks which they want to do.)
- Take a slightly more Anime Flavour/Tropes while still keeping it Kamigawa-esque. (Inuyasha/Naruto type)
- Bring back Spiritcraft based off Landfall as Spirit tribal mechanic (+1/+1 until end of turn).
- Revive Arcane spells without bringing back Splice onto Arcane (perhaps a Kindle mechanic variant for Arcane? Or this)
- Include Ninja tribal, more Ninjas and expand Ninjas into red.
- Include Samuria tribal, more Samuria and expand Samuria into more green.
- Probably put in one or more spirit dragons with death triggers (possible several in blue as dragons in japan are associated with water.)
-Try adding avenlikee crow people based on the tengu, probably in black with a little in red (white has Araba moths, blue has Soratami). Resonant due to DD use Tengu.
-Possible make the Kappa turtle folk instead of Merfolk as Merfolk tribal has been done.
Creative:
-Warring states period? Time period post Kami war (A generate to recover, several generations? Immidately).
Mechanics:
-Tribal with one Legendary matters theme.
-If Legendary is a theme perhaps make Double faced variants of flip cards to allow more legendaries.
-Similar make a mechanic that grants those creatures a boost if you control a legendary creature. I would use monument as limited getting a single legendary is hard enough (NAME - If you control a legendary creature, name gets x).
-Or a legend matter spells based of dragon-bonus cards in Dragons of Takirs.
Mechanics to Revive (and my thoughts)
-Soulshift (No, Recursive game states at common)
-Spiritcraft (Yes, NWO compatible with lots of design space, but requires Arcane.)
-Bushido (Maybe, evergreen if not flavour so probably some design space left. NWO compatible)
-Samurai (Yes, the flavour win of playing Samuria)
-Arcane with Splice (No, already done)
-Arcane without Splice (Maybe, backwards compatible and flavour advantage.)
-Shrines (maybe another cycle or do something with the subtype. Sliver Enchantments are cool as are strong uncommon ones)
-A Myojin cycle as god
-Ninjas (Yes)
-Ninjutsu (Maybe, most of the design space already has been mined)
-Ki counters (Ki has great flavour, some resonance but no idea what do with it).
-Patron/OFfering/Champion (Maybe if sufficient tribal, small level rare mechanics)
-Sweep/Channel (Maybe, but need flavour reasons.)
-Wisdom (No)
-Epic (Maybe a single cycle? Very hard to design for)
White
-Kitsune
Blue
-Moonfolk
-Kappa
Black
-Nezumi
-Ogre
-Demon
-Tengu?
Red
-Akki
Green
-Orochi
All
-Human
-Spirit
-Kirin
-Zubera
Classes:
White:
-Samura
-Cleric
-Monk
-Soldier
-Wizard
-Monk?
Blue
-Wizard
-Ninja
-Advisor
Black
-Samuria
-Ninja
-Warrior
-Shaman
-Wizard
-Rogue
Red:
-Samuria
-Shaman
-Monk
-Warrior
-Nina?
Green:
-Monk
-Shaman
-Warrior
-Samura?
I needed something to put in the text, as they have no flavor, and I don't like making it up. Also, Demon Fiend Arch-Fiend Sounds weird.
Its fine to have Summoned Skull as a vanilla creature.
------------------
I'm not sure you completely understand Eye of truth. Your opponent must play with their hands revealed, but during their upkeep, if they have an instant or sorcery in their hand, they gain X life. (Debating on changing the value. in YGO it's 1000 life points)It's not gain X life for however many instant or sorceries that are in your hand.3 life then maybe?
-I didn't understand the card. However Telepathy gives you the same effect with no life gain for less. And is still considered unplayable.
-----------------
soul release: I think that's pushing it. There are alot of things you can do with exiled creatures that you can't with dead ones. Perhaps 1WB?
You can exile an entire players graveyard for less than one mana. And its supposed to be easier to interact with dead creatures than exiled ones (unless your an eldrazi processor).
-----------------
Spell Shattering Arrow: I made it 2 hybrids, 2 red, and 2 white. Is this ok?
Compare the red half (Aura Barbs) and the whites half. The amount of mana symbols of each side should be be balanced but you could probably lower the cost to four as in http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=107694 The fact you invented an effect combination magic has never done before shows that this a great custom card.
-----------------
Silver Fang: It's a hybrid mana now. Wolves should be green most of the time IMO.
The problem is that green doesn't get first strike and a hybrid card can't include an ability unless both colours get it. I'd make a gold WG creature and boost it up to 2/2.
-------------
Monster Reborn and all others where you say "return to the battlefield"
Casting is different than moving it to the battlefield.
I know. Its just that Magic is currently trying to use casting triggers as a way to weaken reanimation effects. The effect is a bit strong but since the card in yugioh is undercoated thats fine.
-----------
Monster recovery: You're supposed to shuffle both the creature and your hand into the deck.
Got it. You might want to merge the two effects to " then shuffle your your hand into your library and draw cards equal to that creatures power."
--------
Kuriboh: in YGO it is a one sided deal. Maybe a small cost would be best.
Hows 2?
In magic preventing damage to your creatures stops them from dying, unlike in yugioh. And preventing all combat damage dealt to your creatures is a great combat trick as it lets them kill your opponents creatures in combat with no risk of dying themselves. In magic this is a much stronger effect that in it is in yugioh. Preventing all combat damage to dealt to Everyone costs a one or two white or green mana while to preventing it for your guys costs three.
--------
Magical hats: Yes. Thats how it goes in YGO. Also, there is good comboing there.
-You've worded it so that if all your tokens die you still get your guy back. And putting cards in your graveyard from your library is a strong effect as you combined with your Grave Digger card to get a really expensive spell out on turn four or a get spells with flashback. (http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Search/Default.aspx?action=advanced&text= [flashback])
-------
Dark Sage: Fix'd, and added some more to his ability.
His second ability is should be "Whenever you cast this card, an instant spell, or a sorcery spell, you may search your library for an instant or sorcery card, reveal it and add it your hand, then shuffle your library."
Both blue and black tutor so that part of the ability is fine. The storm part is broken. With storm you can just play instants and sorceries that add more mana to your mana pool than they cost to get high storm count and tons of mana then use it to kill your opponent playing spells until you get a storm count of ten killing them with a single direct damage spell that storms into 10+ copies. A weaker version of this cards ability called Minds Desire is one the most powerful cards in the game and is banned in multiple formats.
Even without storm this is very powerful. I'd change the ability to put the card ontop of your library instead and remove storm. You can use card draw spells to do ridiculous things without automatically winning the game.
-----------
Burning Land: Enchantment destruction isn't really Red is it? Neither is long lasting life reduction or creature sacrificing. I wanted to make it red, but I didn't want to break the color pie badly.
The second ability should read "that player loses 2 life unless he or she sacrifices a creature."
You could also just make this a land destruction spells instead.
--------------
Blackland dragon doesn't need the reminder text saying its both colours because as a hybrids its already both.
How would you feel if I made a world enchantment that changed the MTG rules into Yugioh Rules
-Somewhat possible. It should gives alls creatures Provoke, let players cast noncreature spells without paying their mana costs and "players can only cast a single creature spell each turn". It would be horribly overpowered.
If you're going to continue you might be interested in looking at and adapting Magic version of the trap subtype. The Joey deck is very good as due to being a mainly red deck if feels more like a focused deck that Yugi's which has a lot more colours in it.
http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Search/Default.aspx?action=advanced&subtype= [trap] (entire link including trap).
Salamander: should be "If it is a Red Warrior, it gets an additional +1/+0 and "R:+1/+0 until end of turn."
Rock Warrior: you left off the "until end of turn."
Leogun: should be R/Gx3 instead for power level reasons (hybrid only gets that good with three hybrid symbols, compare http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=153970)
Kagemunsha: remove flanking as both no longer used and ridiculously too good (you need four toughness to avoid get killing by a first striker.). Id considered making it WW as white %20[strike]]doesn't get first striking 2/* for 1W, only for WW.
Graverobber: I'd make it pay all the life as an additional cost and "You may cast target instant or sorcery card from an opponent's graveyard without paying its mana cost." Compare to Memory Plunder.
Kunai with Chain - "When this card is turned face up, target creature can't block this turn" as Red doesn't tap stuff.
Copycat - The X should *. I'd base the wording on Clone "You may have Copycat enter the battlefield with the same base power and toughness as another creature on the battlefield."
Destroyer Golem - Damaging opponent triggered abilities now give you both the effect and the damage. Id also put a red mana in the cost to stop black/blue decks getting access to artefact destruction.
Flame Swordsman: Red does not get Vigilance.
Dragon Nails - Could make it an Aura. Should read "If the equipped creature is a dragon, it gets +2/+0 instead."
Battle Warrior = Red and White do not share Vigilance, they share first strike.
Baby Dragon - A bit good for red. Comapare Goblin Sky Raider (2R 2/1 Flying), Goblin Gluider (a 1R 1/1 flier that can't block) and a Dragon Hatchling (a 1/R 0/1 Flier with Firebreathing).
-Not writing out activated abilities as "Cost, Tap:"
-Putting First Strike on Green and Double Strike on Green. White and Red are the First/Double Strike colours, not Red/Green.
Summoned Skull - You can just put "Arch-Fiend" in the creature type line instead.
Winged Dragon makes more sense in blue or red. And is a bit strong for a Wind Drake
Yugi has no mana cost. You need a mana cost to play a nonland card. And the second ability feels feels mean for Yugi.
The Eye of Truth. - Should be WU as blue doesn't gain life. Also you should lower the number gained to 2 (imagine your opponent goes first and you have a 4 mana instant or sorcery in hand. They play this on second turn and quickly good up to 35 or more life.)
Soul Release - You can lower the cost to WB.
Swords of Vanishing LIght -A bit wordy. You could just it give it vanishing and make it an enchant player that stops enchanted players creatures from attacking. This card could be mono-white.
TIme Wizard- why not "and you may put a time counter on a Dark Magician you control."
Spell Shattering Arrow = Great. Maybe make the cost symmetrical
Shift - Great card.
Rude Kaiser - Fine card
Silver Fang. Should be white. Green does not get first strike.
Monster Reborn - Why not just "return target creature card in a graveyard to the battlefield under your control.
Mammoth Graveyard. A bit too good for 1 black drop. Maybe give it "This creature can't block" for flavour and to weaken it. Also the template is gold despite only costing black.
Mystic Box - Should make giving your opponent a creature an "As an additional cost". As is you can play it with zero creatures.
Mystical Elf - Should read "When Mystic Elf dies, you gain 5 life."
Monster Recover - If your trying to keep the creature in your hand make it shuffle your hand into your library first. If not make it shuffle the creature from battlefield first, then shuffle your hand, then draw the cards. And as an instant its a great combat trick.
Makiu - Maybe change to "target black and red creature you control".
Kuriboh - It should prevent ALL combat as otherwise a free one-sides combat trick. And you should pay W/B when you discard it as ability still a bit to food if free.
Magical Hats - Great. Is there a need to exile the cards from your library though?
Koumori Dragon - You can just write Dragon Demon in the creature type.
Horn of the Unicorn: Should be: and "WWW: This creature gains Indestructible this turn". Is there a reason for it to go ontop of your library? And couldn't the cost be 2/W hybrid man so any colour can use it?
Horn Imp - Great.
Gaia the Fierce Knight - Why is this card RG instead of RW.
Griffore. Should be "G, T.". Also looks pretty powerful.
De-Spell -Good.
Feral Imp - Should be BB. 1B black creatures are not usually that stong.
Dark Magician - The ability is mono-blue except the cost and gold cards should have attributes of both colours. Maybe give it "you may sacrifice two creatures rather than pay dark magicians mana cost".
Dark Sage. - It a dead card in your opening hard and really hard to get out. Ether raise the mana cost but make it free if you sacrifice the dark magician OR you put it into play from outside the game by sacricing the dark magician. That way you can still get it out and its worth including in your deck
Catapult Turtle - You could probably make it monoblue to cast (1UU), keep the red activated ability and get rid of the "half its power rounded down". Also should be "1R, T:"
Curse of Dragon - Great. I'd make it 4/2 or 2BB as its quite strong for its cost.
Burning Land - The Flavour of burning card without red feels wrong.
Breath of life - Does not feel white or work as written. Maybe WU name a creature type then destroy all creatures with the chosen type or "As addition cost to cast Breath of Life sacrifice a creature."
Dark Hole - Why not just make it a spell that destroys all creatures. Also for flavour reasons this card makes more sense as a White-Black card.
Brain Control - The temporary steal effect is currently primary red while stealing is blue. Make it 1BR instead.
Book of Secret Arts - There is no need to say "This ability can only be played by the owner of this card". Also you could make it colourless to cast to make with unicorn horn.
Blackland Dragon - A bit too good for its cost. You could make it B/R B/R B/R to both make it feel black red and make it 'weaker' (black gets good fliers for BBB, red dragon bonus means a 3/2 dragon for RRR is accceptibe.
Black Luster Ritual - You may search your graveyard, hand and/or library for a card name Black Luster Solider and put it onto the battlefield. If you searched your library this way, shuffle it. (Dark Supplicant)
Beaver Warrior - Could be white or blue instead.
Battle Steer - This a card that could be GR.
Eldrazi
-Changing Ingest is a very good idea. But if all Eldrazi have Ingest why not also give Ingest the Devoid ability. (This card is colourless. Whenever it attacks, exiles the top card of defending players colourless.)
-Keywording Spew doesn't seem to do anything but make card but make the cards wordier. Maybe just put it on noncreatures and add devoid rider it. (this card is colourless. When you cast it, put a 1/1 Eldrazi Scion token onto the battlefield).
-The processors mechanic was a great idea.
-Your mechanic of whenever an ingestor exiles a nonland card was a good example of new design space. I would change to it "exiles a land card" for flavour reasons and expand upon it.
-Coloured Eldrazi with a pale border feel wrong. The change was a major flavour lose.
Allies
-Unity is broken! Get rid of it. It makes growing your creatures far to easily.
-Unity doesn't meet your goal of making cards feel like allies as makes focus on race/class and is much harder to track than rally.
-To answer the complaint of what makes an ally an ally, using Battle Cry as secondary mechanic on non-rally Allies in the set.
Zendikar
- Landfall is ridiculously overpowered on small creatures (e.g. Scythe Tiger). And by focusing on basic land types, you ruin limited by discouraging people from playing nonbasic lands/multicolour decks. The flavour is also off as it makes the Zendikari feel divided. It also makes cards with landfall more wordy.
- The set feels weird with only a remnant of Awaken remaining. Awaken has great flavour and is simpler to learn than Hedronize due to its great consistence.
- Hedronise was either is either "X is equal to the number of lands you control" or "Affinity for Lands". This, combined with inconsinent templates between cards made Hedronise cards hard to learn as knowing what did on one card didn't help you now what did elsewhere.
- Hedronise is a worse mana sink mechanic than awaken. Either its makes spell near free late game with nothing for you to spend man on (Affinity), or it combos negatively with Scions spawning midgame (mana rarely equals land counts).
Big Picture:
-Landfall and Unity turn the game into solitaire with Unity creatures sitting back block while 4/3 power 1-2 drops swing.
-Putting Spew everywhere will produced massive amounts of ramping.
-The sets power level is much higher than Canon BFZ.
-Most of the set works fine. Just focus on Fixing the Eldrazi and Allies. The ingesting a card gives you Scion, New Processor mechanic and using Battle Cry to mark non-rally allies are what should be focusing on. The Affinity for Lands/X is the number of lands you control, on the other hand needs more work.
Card by Card
-lost the must attack trigger so now it feels too defensive for red. The new landfall is more complicated that it used to be. Maybe same cost (3RR) but etb tapped if you didn't play a mountain. Slightly worse.
Drana - This version of Drana has the broken unity ability, the shaman type makes it wordier. Deathtouch and first strike make her a near perfect defence and Unity it completely broken on her. I prefer the canon Drana massively.
Greenwarden - Since it haste and vigilance, does net the etb/upkeep ability when you could just change the second ability to also animate the land.
-Worse
-Kiora. (The 0 ability is better on her than on Nissa. The +1 ability feels not monogreen and is slightly to wordy. Should be one thing and Ophidian ability)
Ob Nixilis - Love his new ultimate.
-Great
Oblivion sower - Your changes are exessively wordy and repeated land destruction is not fun with a card you can get out on turn 4 Zendikar limited. Why not either an Ingest + version of canon Or an Ingest Process that lets you put 3 exiled lands an opponent controls onto the battlefield end of each turn?
-Worse
Omnath. Great concept. I would make the token making ability require RG mana though.
-Great.
Part the Waterviel - Different but seems really risky and dangerous. Its either trash or broken. Maybe just it give affinity for lands instead.
-Worse
Quarantine Field. - A bit wordy. Maybe bump exiling cost up to two counters and get rid of middle ability. Great for killing
-Good
Sire of Stagnation. - As an Eldrazi should be exiling the sorceries/instants from an "opponents" hand or graveyard/library. The card us good but the flavour feels off.
-Great
Ulamog - Interesting change. Both versions of it good. Maybe replace ingest with milling top ten cards of their library though. And Ulamog should exile more cards than Bane of Bala Ged.
-Great.
Undergrowth Champion - Your changes are fine but it should have even power/toughness.
-Great.
Void Winnower - I prefer the cannon version much more. This is really hard to remove with hexproof. I feel then 0/10 10 life and growing whenever exile should be different cards. (maybe this card 0/10 that deals damage equal to its toughness and etb 10 life).
-Potential to be improved.
Adverse Conditions. - Good change as makes the number tapped and Scions match up. And nice flavour text even though the stuff isn't actually ice.
-Great.
Akoum Hellike - 1/1 tokens should not be called dragons!!!! And you made better.
-Potential to Improve
Akoum Stoneweaver . - Prowess and this landfall ability is to good together. Even without prowess this landfall ability is to strong. The canon card was a much better concept.
-Worse.
Aligned Hedron Network - Interesting idea but not as interesting as the original.
-Worse
Ally Encampments third ability makes less sense without rally and antisynergy with Unity.
Angel of Renewal. - Okay. Hedonize ability good change but should have even base power/toughness. Unity not broken on this.
-Potential to Improve
Angelic captain -Battle cry and haste-vigilance an interesting change but the pt are off for white/red. Both Unity and the original version attack trigger are parasitic and off.
-Potential to Improve.
Bane of Bala Ged - Interesting change but slightly wordier. Maybe remove cast trigger an just attack trigger combo with Ingest OR when cast exiles a card and + when exiles a nonland card that player sacrifices a creature. The toughness need to be five in canon version for power level reasons but maybe here its alright.
-Potential to improve.
-Barrage Tyrant. The power boost is a massive improvment, as you can sacirifice one barrage tyrant to the second one. Maybe lower power back to five and let ability also trigger of attacking to combine with ingest.
-Good
Beastcaller Servant. - Broken with Unity.
-Worse
Belligerent Whiptail. Very powerful and encourages monored but not as broken as other landfall pumps.
-Potential to Improve.
Benthic Infiltrator. Interesting change. Why not keep at 1/4 though?
-Good
Blight Herder - Why not make it more like canon where it process 3 cards into 3 scions? Still a good card.
-Good
Blighted lands should produce CC instead of 1C. And they should just produce 1 so a hand of blighted lands lets you cast things. (note: shadowmoor lands).
-Worse
Blisterpod. - why not a G 1/1 with Ingest and death trigger. Green makes more sense than black in this niche. And why sacrifice trigger 4 instead of 1G?
-Potential to improve/
Bloodbound vampire. A 2BB lifelink 3/4 Vampire seems a bit to good at common.
-Worse.
Boiling Earth - This mechanic is affinity for lands, not Hedronize. And now red has no way of killing all Scions. It should divide damage amony any number of target creatures or players.
-Worse.
Breaker of Armies - The original had more flavour. As 10/10 who kills all opponents weak creatures an army cant trade with him en mass. To powerful.
-Worse
Brilliant Spectrum. Great card. Maybe Scry X then draw a card instead. Better then canon.
-Great.
Bring to Light. - Great card. Maybe bump cost up to six as stronger than original.
-Great
Brood Butcher - Interesting change. I would change the casting trigger to producing two scions instead.
-Good
Brood Monitor - EtB should changed to cast for consistence. And the base pt should be 3/3 like canon as a bit to good otherwise.
-Good
Brutal Explusion - you changed the name to explosion. This card is ridiculously undercosted with both Spew and killing a creature. The second ability should not deal 7 damage as that is way too much for a red burn spell (4 damage at most).
-Worse.
Call the Scions. - Scry makes this to wordy. Fine without Scry. Produce token and filtering draws to find your Eldrazi is very powerful in limited.
-Good
Carrier Thrall - Should not be a common.
-Good
Catacomb Sifter - you change the second ability to make it stronger and clash with third ability death triggering. And as Eldrazi should be cast instead of etb.
-Worse
Chasm Guide - Good way for showing off new mechanics.
-Good
Cliffside Lookout - Broken.Get three of them in your opening hand and you win easily.
-Broken/Worse
Clutch the Currents - Good adaption.
-Great
Coastal Discover - This should be Affinity for lands. A bit strong so maybe Uncommon.
-Great.
Complete Disregard - Bump cost up as turn 3 two for one is a bit to good.
-Potential to Improve
Conduit of Ruin. - Prefered the original to this one. The second ability was a great part of its charm and without Devoid in set should just be "Eldrazi card". At 6 a 5/6 that replaces itself is a bit to good.
-Worse
Coralhelm Guide - Unity is Broken. Good without Unity.
-Broken
Crumble to dust. - More powerful but more wordy and at same cost. Probably bump cost up.
-Worse
Cryptic Cruiser - Ability should only tap a single creature. Maybe keep a 3/3?
-Good
Culling Drone - Similar to carrier thrall. Make it a 2/2 with only Ingest and no spew.
-Worse
Deathless Behemoth - With Scion sacrifices to bring him out is a bit to good at generating card advantage.
-Worse.
Defiant Broodlord - Interestign changes but now more complicated. Does it need card drawing ability?
-Good.
Desolation Twin - Minor flavourful change. Shame about the flavour text.
-Great.
Dominator Drone - Good Mechanical change.
-Great
Desna Emissary - Broken. Even without unity alot bber than original.
-Worse
Drowner of Hope - When you cast could either exile the top two cards of target players library or produce two scions?
-Good
Dust Stalker - Interesting new card but just feels like a generic fatty with Ingest. Ridiculously powerful though (exile blockers, haste and menace)
-Good
Earthern Arm - Why not X +1/+1 counter, where X is the number of lands you control.
-Good
Eldrazi Devastor - Why the exile four card trigger?
-Improve
Eldrazi Skyspawner - Great adaptation
-Great
Encircling Fissure - Decent Adapation
-Good
Endless One - Ability feel abit random. And with +1/+1 counter should have even base pt. Why not make it so whenever a card get exiled gets a +1/+1 counter.
-Potential to Improve
Exert Influence - As Hedronize is stronger than Converge I would make it cost 5U.
-Good
Expedition Envoy - BROKEN BROKEN (turn 1: plains expedition envoy, turn 2: plain, 2xExpedition Envoy)
BROKEN!
Eyeless Wathcer - Good adapation. Maybe should be cast?
-Great
Fathom Feeder - Last ability is very strong and should be a processor. Maybe to good?
-GOod
Firemantle Mage - Unsure if activate ability should target an attacking creature.
-Good
Forerunner of Slaughter - Acting or Dying Spew is way to good on him.
-Broken
From Beyond: Interesting new activated ability.
-Great
Gideons Reproach - Good adapation
-Great
Grave Birthing - Made stronger in multiplayer.
-Good
Grip Desolation - With Spew maybe should be a sorcery as 3-1 are very good.
-Worse
Grove Rumbler - Boosted base but weakened landfall. On gold at least it encouages multicolour.
-Good
Grovetender Druids
-Broken
Gruesome Slaughter - Should be an instant but great new card.
-Great
Guul Daz Overseer - MISSPELLED. Your boosts have made her a bit to good even with uped cost.
-Worse
Gaurdian of Tazeem - Made weaker but more flavourful. Maybe Scry 2, Scry instead.
-Improvement
Hagra sharpshooter- Broken. And not an Ally so unity makes no sense as only encourages human/assasin tribal).
-Broken
Halimor Tidecaller - Broken.
-Broken
Hedron Blade - A great new card if potential overpowered,
-Great
Herald of Kozilek - A bit undercosted. Spew is a powerful ability.
-Great
Hero of Goma Fada. - Much Stronger.
Worse.
Horribly Awry - Id bump up the cost by 1, but the best flavour text in the set.
-Great
Incubat Drone - I'd lower back to 2/3
-Great.
Infuse the Elements - Powerful but interesting. Good new Mechanic.
-Great
Inspired Charge - White loses a combat trick. The new flavour is terrible and no flavour text.
-Worse
Jaddi Offshoot - Interesting change that makes card stronger. Unfortunately encourages monocolour and now should be 0/2.
-Potential.
Kalastria Helaer - Potentially Broken.
-Worse
Kalasria Nightwatch - Great New card.
-Great
Kitesail Scout - Slight improvement, no real change.
-Great
Kor Bladewhirl - Broken
-Broken
Kor Castigator -A lot stronger now than no Eldrazi can block him. And Unity makes him Broken.
-Broken.
Kor Entangler - Unity and tapping their best blocker is OP
.Broken
Kozilek Channeler - Interesting new ability.
-Great
Kozileks Sentilenet - Interesting new card. Id make it 0/4 to be more alien.
-Great
Lantern Scout - The Rally version was better. Unity is Overpowered and giving multiple Unity creature lifelink is overpowerd.
Lavasteep Raiders - Great new card. Should probably be the human/Reckless Cohort.
-Great
Lithomancer Focus - Good new card.
-Great
Makindi Patrol - Endless growing vigilancer is overpowered. Rally version was better than Unity.
-Worse
Makindi Sliderunner - To good on the offensive, encourages monocolor play. Everything wrong with the original Zendikar block.
-Worse
Malakir Familiar: Interesting change.
-Good
March from the Tomb - Imroved.
-Great.
Mind Raker - Changing discard to exile to feed itself an interesting change.
-Great
Mire Malice - Good use of Affinity for Lands.
-Great
Mist intruder - Much stronger and fascinating new mechanic.
-Great.
Molten Nursery. - I'd trigger for one whenever you get a Scion for free but raise of cost of one during upkeep.
-great
Munda - Double Stirker Unity 3/3
-BROKEN
Murasa Ranger - Great new card. Maybe cost 3G.
-Great
Murk Strider - Great Adaptation.
-Great
Natural Connection and Reclaiming Vines - Should say "Then Scry 1".
-Great
Nettle Drone: He doesn't Ingest while the big Eldrazi do? Either way not as interesting as the original one.
-Worse
Nirkana Assassin: Good new card. Not so good in a format were everything as Spew.
-Great/
Niss Renewal - Great new card.
-Great
Noyan Dar: Not as good at the orignal Noyan Dar.
-Worse
Ondu Chamion: Good Adaptation
-Great
Ondu Rising: Why not gain 1 life for each land you control or a hedronize combat trick
-Worse
Oracle of Dust: Great as is. Do not mae him 3/5,
-Great adapation
Oran-Field Hydra: Overpowered.
-Worse
Painful Truths - Great new card. Altough why didn't you do draw x cards and lose x life.
-Great
Pathway Arrows - The whole point was it would tap down Eldrazi titans. You ruined the flavour and made it weaker.
-Worse
Planar Outburst - This effect is not monowhite, its WGB. Alot worse flavour than original.
-Worse.
Plated Crusher - Does it need the death trigger to?
-Worse
Prism Array. - Big Improvement.
-Great
Processor Assaultor - Great. Maybe 1RR or only target creatures to prevent win more situations.
-Great
Radiant Flame - Great new card.
-Great
Reckless Cohort - Decent but the original had better flavour in ability and flavour text.
-To be Improved.
Resolute Blademaster: Overpowered. Doesn't feel white.
-Worse
Retreat Sequence: Interesting change. Needs testing.
-???
Roil Spout - Decent card but Hedonize feels tacked on
-Could be improved.
Roilmages Trick
-Great
Roils Retribution
- Great
Great Processor
- Great
Ruination Guide - Should make Scions instead. And original better,
-Worse
Ruinous Path - Straigh adaptation.
-Good
Rush of Ice
-Great
Salvage Drone: Great
-Great
Scatter to Wins: Mabye should cost 1UU as Mana Leak to powerful
-Great
Scour from Existence: Does not need Spew.
-Worse.
Scythe Leopard: Everything landfall shouldn't be.
-BROKEN
Serena Steward: Minor change, activated ability should cost 1W and also give lifelink.
-Worse
Serpentine Spike - Win More Card.
-Worse
Shadow Glider - Okay Change
--Good
Shatterskull Recrut: Okay change. But this doesn't like an Ally.
-Good
Sheer Drop - This ability is out of whites colour pine
-Worse
Silent Skimmer. - Fascinating change. Does it really need the third ability though?
Skitterskin - Okay change
-Good
Syrider Elf -
Broken.
Sludge Crawler: This card should be G Blisterpod.
-Worse
Smother Abomination: Intersting change.
-Could be Improved
Snapping Gnarlid: Everything wrong with Landfall the first time.
-Worse
-Spawning Bed: Was fine when producing three Scions.
-Worse
Spell Shrivel: maybe cost 1 more. Stronger.
-Worse.
Stasis Snare: Why did you change it? You just made it more wordy.
-Worse
Stone Haven Medic: Broken with Kor Allies with Unity. Strictly better than original card.
-Worse.
Stonefury: Great
-Great
Swarm Surge: Goof Change but feels a bit to good.
-Great
Swell of Growth: Why add more +1/+1 counters to the board.
-Same
Tajuru Beastmaster - Broken.
Broken.
Tajuru Expedition: Sylvan Scrying was a reprint. Why change the name for no reason?
-?????
Tajuru Stalwart: Okay card but Unity is dangerous.
-Good
Tajuru Warcaler: Nonbroken Unity card.
-Good
Territorial Baloth: More wordy and weaker than canon version
-Worse
Tide Drifter: DOES NOT NEED UNBLOCKABLE.
-GREAT
Titans Presence: Not as good as original and doesn't need Spew.
-Worse
Touch of the Void: 2-for-1
-Great
Transgress the Mind: Undercosted
-Worse
Tunneling Geopede: Unblock 5 power creatures are bad.
-Worse
Turn Against: Nothing marks this as an Eldrazi card.
-Worse
Ugin Insights: Great but better in a set with Devoid.
-Great.
Ulamogs Despoiler: Process should only give it 3 +1/+1 counters, not 4.
-Could be improved.
Ulamogs Reclaimer: Great
-Great.
Unified Front: Should be instant or a spell with hedronize give kor ally token for each land
-Good
Unnatural Aggression: Great
-Great
Valakut Predator: Why make it even better.
-Worse
Vampiric Rites: Flavour is off even with good design.
-Good
Vestige of Emrakul: Why not give it the spew if exiles a nonland clause?
-Great
Vetern Warleader: Broken.
-Broken
Vile Aggegated: Power should be equal to Scions not nontokens. Why not tie spawning to exiling a nonland?
-Good
Void Attendant: Should spawn Scions instead. Repeated land destruction is unfun.
-Worse
Volcanic Upheavel:
-Good
Viscous Null: Tons of Eldrazi so maybe just a 2/2?
-Good
Wasteland Strangerler:
-Good
Wavewind elemental: Wordier and weaker than canon
-Good
Windridder Patrol: Okay but why change it?
-Okay
Woodland Wanderer:
-Great
Zada, Hedron Grinder: no fun ricocheting and unity bad mechanic.
-Worse
Zulaport Cutthroat
-To Good.
Your set was great and was fully of many successes. This review is mostly flavor changes, minor edits and color pie related. Your only significant problems were:
1 - You do not need remainder text for evergreen keywords. This was a mainly a problem in back where remainder text applied inconsistently. (menace, intimidate, protection.)
2 - Gold cards should feel Gold and should not be printable as a mono-color card. (Angelfire Corona, Frost Wolf, Glacial Barrier, Taysir Sorceress).
3 - Meteor Shower is a color pie mistake. Green can only damage fliers and red is supposed to have problems with high toughness. 10 damage is to high.
4 - I do not believe Sweeping Seizure works within the rules without first exiling the cards you findand letting you play them from exile.
5 - You gave Red trample more frequently than you gave it to Green. Possibly switch some of those instances of trample to Relentless and make the cards slightly lower power/toughness to compensate.
Minor Things:
1 -The creature that get boosts when you discard a card feel like they should get +1/+1 instead of +1/+0
2 - Occasional Channel Cards that don't mirror the creatures effect when channeled. (Dragirs Chosen, Pack of Wolves)
3 -Channel should be either cheaper discard for an effect on the card OR discard for a bigger effect. Having a mix of both may feel slightly strange.
4 - Some minor word choices and minor color pie issues.
Your set has high power level which you knew. You need to test Hex and Intensify as they are potentially broken in the limited environment you want to create. Relentless is very good and is potentially broken in limited with Hex cards that boost power.U have found several possibly overpowered cards but I am otherwise unsure of color balance. Possible template and power level examples are below.
Beedevil should "exile target creature with a power or toughness of 3 or less".
Draighirs Chosen should exile target enchantment when it dies to match channel and answer Hex.
Combat Medics channel ability should match its static ability. "W, Discard; Prevent the next 3 damage that would be dealt to target creature or player this turn.
Skynet Griffen is pretty strong and potential Lava Axe (flying that shuts down attacks) that shuts down 1/1 and 2/2 attackers.
I feel Sublime Believer and Warden on the Omnipresent should swap rarities as white is not supposed to get many big creatures. Also swap Sublime Believers PT. This cycle feels out of place as it feels far to much like the "Exalted" mechanic you removed, and clashes with whites enchantment matters mechanic. for space. It think these might be better if you saved them for a set with Exalted.
Tenacious Disciple should have channel cost of 2W instead of 1WW as the Disciples needs only a single W in their converted mana cost. Maybe make channel only effect a single creature an alter accordingly.
People will be tempted to play Thariel Purists as though it has "Protection from enchantments you don't control.". Maybe change it to that. (WotC turned Shroud became Hex-proof for this reason).
Champion of End Times should exile creatures and all permanents attached to creatures when it dies as well to match channel with ability.
Mirror Sentry looks really good and potentially broken. Test it,
Perptual Vitality. Perhaps when it return put a +1/+1 counter on up to three target creatures you control so it feels more white and less green. Also the card will rarely end up in your graveyard.
Imperois Vision: Could it be worded as "Then return it either to the battlefield under its owners control or to its owners hand.
Thuvius the Omnipresent: Due to precedent it should say "Players can't cast spells during combat.". Red was fairer than that when it had the mechanic.
Darkcloud Raptor - Check with Intensity 3 instead. With 4 it does 2-3-4 damage to players without flying.
Pupill of Destiny. Maybe match up channel?
Ancient of Atmosphere. With Hex very good. With Brobdigan Stature in the set the putting the aura onto the battlefield for free risks being broken. And 2/3 is more blue than a 3/2.
Evolving Illusion - keeping track of which ability you haven chosen raises board complexity. Maybe make a base 2/2 who EtB with 2 +1/+1 counters if flying, 1 +1/+1 if hexproof so if entwine gets 3 +1/+1 counters.
Never Ending Serpent. Intensity looks way to high. Dies at turn 14. Feels more green than blue.
Power of Replication - Dangerous with Intensify creatures as removes the drawback by stacking triggers during upkeep to turn into something without Intensify before the last +1/+1 counter ability resolves.
Clairvoyant heroes ability to ruin opponents draws looks very unfun in limited if got out on turn 2 as you can see if mana screwed or flooded and act accordingly. Late games equally devastating by denying them nonlands.
Sweeping seizure should exile the cards found just after options, followed by the "You may cast" ability. that way cards go somewhere you can play them from. Spelljack and all other play without paying mana cost work this way.
void leverage. Remove the haste granting as bleed from red. Blue doesn't do it anymore.
Sorestruss. Blue rarely gets trample and this card doesn't need it with evasion and lockdown ability.
Taysirs temporal genuise's automatic defence looks quite strong.
Maybe when Festering hulk dies it gives a -1/-1 counter to match abilities.
Slayer of Myth - Remove Intimidates flavor text as evergreen. The card Feels like he should have deathtouch as well to match Planeswalker killing. Possible replace Intimidate with Menace?
Two Headed Plaguehound - Menace is evergreen. You don't need remainder text.
Unholy Charm - Remove Intimidate or replace it with Menace. (Intidate works on creatures colour so more confusing and as good as match up colours)
Patron of Misery - does not remaninder text for protection from black. Should read "whenever you put a +1/+1 counter on Patron of Misery, other creatures get -x/-x until end of turn were X is the number of +1/+1 on Patron of Misery."
Sweeping Misery - is there any point playing this after turn six "target player sacrifices 5 creatures".
Venal Apostle - Does he really need the "at random" clause. Great anyway/
Ataluk the necrolord could be worded as "that was put there this turn from the battlefield"?
Kugerian - No "0: Regenerat". At least make it B or 1. Still very powerful on the play on turn 3. He has three power, is almost impossible to kill and steals chump blockers. The arts empty background looks really bad and possibly swap with Infernal Curr, Photoshop a new background or find new art.
Does Armed Brigand need haste. Its already pretty good. If anything replace haste with "attacks each turn if able." (turn 1 armed brigand, turned 2 lightning infusion, hurts alots.)
-if need haste give it to ghoulish goblin.
Lumbering Ogre - most players dislike coin flipping. Consider this as reason WotC doesn't use this mechanic at common.
Warden of Indignation is dangerous. A 2/3 doesn't feel red. The card should be uncommon to make it and lightning infusion (maddening visions) combo harder. The cost should probably be 1RR (compare with Two Headed Cerebus a canon 1RR Double Striking 1/2 common and Boros Swiftblade.
Discerning Highpaw - Why not change to just "except the first one he or she drew this turn, Discerning Highpaw deals 1 damage to that player". Less wordy and in practise the same effect.
Rampaging Manticore - has wings, does not fly. Causes confusion according to MaRo.
Alpine Espirit - see the kamigawa Genju cycle. Could be uncommon.
Dynamite Courier too good for red. Maybe change second ability "when it becomes blocked, sacrifice it at the end of combat." or sacrifice without doing damage. His drawback really isn't one and a R 2/2 Relentess creature is to good for red.
Foolish Ritualist also too good. It replaces itself, does 4 damage to opponent and usually trades with a creature. And if it survives more than one turn winning becomes more or less impossible.
Sweeping Quake - Should deal damage to creatures without flying, not destroy them. Red either gets destroy all creatures or damage all nonfliers. It deals damage to creatures and can deal Y damage to each creature without flying.
Aurions automatic defense is a little strong.
Abound is in-elegant and should probably by +2/+2. Same possibly applies for green Intensift creatures with nonmatching power and toughness as makes calculations take longer (This is why */* is prefered to */*+1)
Aroma-Sensing Hound could just be a creature with flash and EtB card drawing. As a token its not as powerful and cards look better than tokens on the battlefield. Also should not be called Hound in the name as its a wolf, not a hound.
Cave spider is a functional reprint of Canopy Spider. Why not just reprint Canopy Spider and mention the canopy is dark. This align flavor with Spider Inspirit. And you did reprint terramorphic expanse.
Fade to antiquity feels to white. Since green needs a Hex answer, maybe destroy an artifact or enchantment, then remove all artifacts and enchantment in controllers graveyard from the game (or then remove an artifact or enchantment in that players graveyard from the game.)
Magical Clash - Have you considered the Fungusaur style wording (- Fight. Then put a +1/+1 counter on each of those creature.) If they're dead they don't get stronger and there less memory issues than waiting for the end step.
Maturing Wolf is very big for a maturing wolf. Maybe call it mature wolf as its larger than almost every other wolf in the set. And probably reduce the Intensify number as by turn nine will rarely matter in limited. Or 3/3 pt for elegance.
Fungal Wolf has reach makes no flavor/Vorthos sense. Maybe swap text with Highpaw lookout (fungus gives life, lookout has reach and deathtouch if enchanted?)
Maybe swap art for Hook Parasite and Monstrousity of Deepwood as HP has flying in the art but lacks flying/reach. MD has reach but is on the ground.
Pack of Wolves channel feels off as better than the creature itself and does not match the cards non channel ability. Maybe etb gives you a wolf for each creature you control instead of attack trigger. Or channel gives each creature +x/0+ for each wolf control until end of turn as channel feels like should match text.
Wolf hunt feels like it should work the other way (two of your creatures fight an opponents creature, theme of your wolves banding together to hunt single enemy.)
Aluria two abilities don't match. Either playing a creature gives your all creatures +1/+1 counters, OR aura gives Aluria and enchanted creature +1/+1.
Brobdigan Stature does not need trample. Its enough of a limited bomb. Maybe switch it to a fight trigger.
Farhaven Beast Callings the two sentences should be on separate lines. The second line should read "Until end of turn, whenever a wolf creature blocks, it gains +2/+2 until end of turn."
Growth Sappling - change to "that creatures +1/+1 counters on Growth Sappling". Card drawing ability could be made more coostly or dropped, the card is already pretty good without it.
Ranshil is great but does it really need the "can't be blocked by more than creature" ability as well as flying?
Palatial Hydra is AWESOME but with no palace in art maybe give it a better name? Judging by art maybe Cloudbreaker Hydra?
Angelfire Corona could be monowhite. Maybe give Haste as well.
Frostwolf could also be monowhite without channel ability and white gets instants that give +2/+3 and lifelink. Maybe add trample to creature and the channel.
Maybe tweak Auramancer boost to +2/+2 for each aura instead +3/+3. With Hex you should be getting auras on it without any of the the card disadvantage costs you'd normally have.
Glacial Barricade doesn't feel blue with exile ability being white despite good in limited. (shuts down aggro) Maybe shift dying ability to freezing ", tap up to X target creatures where X is the number of +1/+1 counters on GC. Those creature don't
Hellfire. Black is secondary in haste so doesn't feel red enough. To stop feeling like a black card with red activated ability maybe you should give it Firebreathing. It should not have both trample and relentless. Maybe remove haste/trample and just give it firebreathing and relentless. The relentless ability shouldn't compete the shade.
Meteor blast breaks the colour pie. Green does not get nonflying creature destruction and reds weakness is high toughness creatures. Shift it to only hitting a creature with flying or a fireball/hurricane variant if possible or something? (destroy target creature with flying (G). Meteor blast deals damage equal to its power to its controller and each other creature they control (R) - 5 damage divided among number of creatures without flying (red), 5 damage divided among number of players and creatures with flying (green). - Or give it the allurian arrows ability.
Rewrite History's creature exiling imbalances it towards white and same set as champion of end days. Maybe destroy creature and exile all auras and artifact.
Taysir Sorceress does not feel blue due to blue losing the Prodigal Sorcerer ability. Make add taping to the Tim ability. Maybe make it "T: tap up target creature. Taysir sorceress deals damage equal to the number of +1/+1 counters on it to that creature.
Virulent Murkdrivers channel ability and main ability don't match. Make first ability exile all cards or make Channel remove two.
Land and Artifacts
Automated Contrapation dearg trigger and channel don't match. When it dies it should put a CARD in your graveyard on top of your library so both recur self or another card.
Demonic Hellsword is awesome.
Could Uncontrolled obelisk activated ability refer to X in the cost? - I am also very wary of letting the Intesnify creature grow indefinitely.
Garded Passage can lose "and Gaurden Passage isuntapped". Makes it less wordy and make no practical different (if tapped animation useless).
Why is Anaba Ruins red. Why not give colourless mana so less tied to colour identity/strong. Already looks very powerful.