Yeah, anyone who decries a CD for being too similar to past work is a poser who heard music critics say that. If the first CD was good, and they produce more stuff like the first CD, then you have twice as much good stuff!
What was wrong with that? He was complaining about me taking my positions with confidence, a rather ludicrous complaint in my opinion, and I gave it a ludicrous response.
I'm happy to be proven wrong (surely that's come up in these 200 or so posts of mine) and to reconsider things, even if I don't fill my every post with "Personally, I believe..." and "in my opinion".
Since I used that particular phrase in my post, I can't help but to think you're talking about me.
Actually not really, more the people who got Zyrakis' thread on the topic closed.
Quote from "Tarbosh" »
I tried to be as civil as possible in this discussion I've been trying to calmly and clearly illustrate my point, but as your posts carry a very degrading 'what I say is fact' attitude.....it is really starting to bug me, and many of the others here as well.
I apologise if my awesomeness overwhelms you.
Quote from "Tarbosh" »
I'd really appreciate it if you don't discount my entire post as me being 'blind' and 'defending myself against my porn watching'. I HAVE LITTLE TO NO PORN WATCHING TO DEFEND!
Well then I'm obviously not talking about you, am I?
I'm not even going to bother commenting on the rest. You really start getting personal there and I'm rather confused by it all: you say you don't watch much porn but also that I must be discrediting your comments as the justification for your porn-watching. And frankly that makes no sense.
It's not clearly harmless. For a relationship partner, she won't want you getting an unrealistic image of a women, unrealistic expectations about sex, and it often depicts things such as adultery and rape. It's also addicting, and other rare things like over-masturbation.
The porn industry is a money making industry. They'll do whatever they have to do make that money, regardless of how it effects you.
So he has sex with his partner too. Oops, now there's no more unrealistic images of women or sex, as he knows what they and it are really like.
Depicting things like adultery and rape is only of concern to psychos who cannot distinguish depictions from reality.
Porn itself is not harmful. But it can harm people. Casting the blame on porn as evil is a cop-out, really.
Quote from "Lord Zero" »
I'd like to ask the same. You seem to resent something about porn and justify your feelings attacking anyone who watches porn.
Hahahahaha. If anything, I watch too much. I do not resent porn, I have said several times it isn't harmful itself.
What I resent is the people (and maybe you don't belong in this group and I unfairly pidgeonholed you) who come into threads like this with blind cries of "don't be her *****!" - those cries motivated by the fact they feel they need to defend themselves (and their porn-watching) against girls. If they cast the anti-porn girls as emotionally-insecure whackjobs, then they don't have to feel bad about watching it.
And I don't think that's particularly fair.
To make it clearer, being intolerant to something that's clearly harmless and it's something that he likes to do, might be a symptom of something else.
Of course she might. That's why I said you have to consider intention. Sounds like you are letting a bad experience with a controlling girl jade your point of view - it's not necessarily unreasonable to desire change in a partner.
It's pretty intolerant for her to get pissed off at you looking at porn. You should talk to her about that. Most men look at pornography, when in a relationship or alone. There is nothing bad about it unless you can't get excited by anything else, and that's another thing.
I watch pronography because it "comes looking for me". And frankly, it isn't for sexual pleasure (I have a very active imagination ;)), but for amusement, mostly hentai or really weird porn (which I won't specify). Frankly, I don't want to worry you, but her being against you watching porn might be a symptom for a bigger problem. Talk and talk. Comunication FTW.
May I add my two cents? Might be harsh.
These threads really need less people coming here just to justify their own porn watching. Zyrakis' thread was almost the exact same debacle. At least nobody has called the OP's girlfriend a crazy ***** and gotten it locked yet.
Just because "most men do it" doesn't mean you shouldn't give it up. That's terrible logic. And there is something bad about it if it makes her feel uncomfortable. Isn't it funny how that works?
Yes. But not always enough. Some women can climax easily, others find it harder.
Think of it like starting a car on a cold day. Some cars have highly tuned engines that will start when you turn the key even when it's below zero. Others need to be warmed up for a while or even given a push start before the motor will turn over. And by God, if I never make that metaphor again I will be a happy man.
Now pretend it's -100 degrees. Will any of the cars start? Unlikely.
What about 2 degrees? Some will still fail, but less than if it was -15.
That's why it's innacurate to say x% of cars cannot start without warming on a cold day.
EDIT: Let's say it really is a y/n deal. Only 33% can do it.
Now the government forces everyone to install cameras in their rooms that they will be watching at all times. This naturally upsets the sex lives of many, and the statistic falls to 15%.
So even if refuse to see it as anything but a switch set to yes or no, you have to accept it can be flicked through external circumstances. And if it can be changed, saying "X% can do it" is misleading.
That is one of my big problems with the statistic. Saying "X% can do it" implies it is important to work out whether you are one of the X% or not. But in fact it can change whether you are or not in that X% - so what's the point in making the distinction?
I said in the line before giving those examples that there are exceptions to seriously consider dropping a 'habit'. These situations include outlandish things such as telling you to play less video games [when you hardly play at all], telling you who to hang out with [which is controlling, she shouldn't be asking this], and telling you how to eat [which she shouldn't unless you just need that extra kick in the pants to improve your eating habits]. I never meant to suggest that those are all 'habits' that should be stopped per the GFs wishes, but merely giving examples of situations where changing something you do/don't do when the GF is being overly demanding is unecessary.
Hope that's cleared up.
I know, the whole point is who is to say those are unnecessary demands? Whether they are or not depends on her motivations, not on the demands themselves. You cant just say "her controlling video games is bad", you can only consider "how much a part of my life are video games, would I be willing to change that, and why does she want me to change?"
Quote from "Tarbosh" »
I'd think anyone stupid to break up with their significant other because 'she wouldn't be okay with me watching porn'.
Whaaat?
So she doesn't break up with you, just silently resents you. Sounds like a great relationship ^__^
You'd have to be stupid to break up with someone who hated something that was a big part of you ^__^
It doesn't matter how in the mood they are; if they aren't brought to a higher plateau of arousal through foreplay they can't reach a climax.
Please tell me what a "plateau of arousal" is. Is this plateau-shape taken from the well-published and verified graph of "sexual arousal vs foreplay success in females"?
I am really confused and disturbed. Is this story made up? This feels like fiction to me. I don't know why anyone would want to knife anyone for an iPod. And wouldn't be smarter to bring a gun? Something about this story just doesn't quite feel logical. I hope this thing is fiction. If it isn't, I will be much more scared to walk around at night.
No I cant think of any reasons why people might want to take money off of others, sometimes through force, either. What is this world coming to?
I am sad to say that I am completely appalled with the continual support of pornography. Introducing it to his girlfriend may only alienate her further. Now she won't just break up, she will also slap him in the face.
Because all girls hate porn, amirite?
Here's a hint: No you are not right.
I'd love to argue this point, but debating whether or not pornography is inherently evil and immoral is a bit off-topic, I'd say.
Well, really you should analyse the brands and decide which MP3 player is best for you. iPods are certainly not the only nor necessarily the best option.
But to exclude them just because they are popular is at least as equally blind as choosing them because they are popular.
Now, I'm not saying you should be her *****. You shouldn't drop everything and cater to her needs all the time. However, dropping a habit such as porn, drugs, ciagarettes, drinking often, cursing excessively, etc. can score mucho brownie points.
So can dropping habits like "too much video games", "hanging out with certain people" or "eating choices", the other examples you list as "don't give up"s, score mucho brownie points.
There is no distinction here except that the above behaviours are more widely acceptable as "bad". I would disagree that pornography is "bad", and so it actually belongs in the second category which you are keen to denounce as "unreasonable to give up".
Quote from "Tarbosh" »
IMO, porn is a big enough issue that if she wants you to stop, then stop. She'll love you more for not only stopping the porn, but also because you stopped a habit she wanted you to stop. Above your heads you both see a plus sign, followed by a box with two people in it. You just got about 20 relationship points.
He's just been forced to stop doing something he enjoys. Why would that necessarily give him a "plus sign above the head"?
That said, there is a secret lying in the fact that many describe it as a porn "habit". If you stop the behaviour even temporarily, and receive sincere positive feedback from your girlfriend in response, you'll probably find the behaviour easier to drop. It's not like you need to watch porn, you choose to. And being rewarded for not watching it is likely to make the choice here less automatic.
Quote from "Tarbosh" »
I could go on forever, but the #1 thing I want to drive home is this.
If she wants you to stop a habit that's really fruatrating her, then stop it, alright? Making the GF happy is a good thing. But don't cater to EVERYTHING she says.
It's not unlikely that after the porn habit goes, another issue will pop up that's "really frustrating her". If you show her she can change you, don't be surprised if she keeps trying in other ways.
If you don't want to end up in "*****" territory, you have to look at her intentions here, and decide if they are reasonable. It doesn't matter what she is asking of you, despite what Tarbosh says. What matters is why she is asking it.
You don't need to judge if it's a "BIG enough issue" (to use Tarbosh's words). You need to judge if it's a BIG enough issue to her.
Thank you for your deep and insightful contribution.
What was wrong with that? He was complaining about me taking my positions with confidence, a rather ludicrous complaint in my opinion, and I gave it a ludicrous response.
I'm happy to be proven wrong (surely that's come up in these 200 or so posts of mine) and to reconsider things, even if I don't fill my every post with "Personally, I believe..." and "in my opinion".
Actually not really, more the people who got Zyrakis' thread on the topic closed.
I apologise if my awesomeness overwhelms you.
Well then I'm obviously not talking about you, am I?
I'm not even going to bother commenting on the rest. You really start getting personal there and I'm rather confused by it all: you say you don't watch much porn but also that I must be discrediting your comments as the justification for your porn-watching. And frankly that makes no sense.
So he has sex with his partner too. Oops, now there's no more unrealistic images of women or sex, as he knows what they and it are really like.
Depicting things like adultery and rape is only of concern to psychos who cannot distinguish depictions from reality.
Porn itself is not harmful. But it can harm people. Casting the blame on porn as evil is a cop-out, really.
Hahahahaha. If anything, I watch too much. I do not resent porn, I have said several times it isn't harmful itself.
What I resent is the people (and maybe you don't belong in this group and I unfairly pidgeonholed you) who come into threads like this with blind cries of "don't be her *****!" - those cries motivated by the fact they feel they need to defend themselves (and their porn-watching) against girls. If they cast the anti-porn girls as emotionally-insecure whackjobs, then they don't have to feel bad about watching it.
And I don't think that's particularly fair.
Of course she might. That's why I said you have to consider intention. Sounds like you are letting a bad experience with a controlling girl jade your point of view - it's not necessarily unreasonable to desire change in a partner.
OK, I'll bite. What am I trying to justify?
May I add my two cents? Might be harsh.
These threads really need less people coming here just to justify their own porn watching. Zyrakis' thread was almost the exact same debacle. At least nobody has called the OP's girlfriend a crazy ***** and gotten it locked yet.
Just because "most men do it" doesn't mean you shouldn't give it up. That's terrible logic. And there is something bad about it if it makes her feel uncomfortable. Isn't it funny how that works?
Now pretend it's -100 degrees. Will any of the cars start? Unlikely.
What about 2 degrees? Some will still fail, but less than if it was -15.
That's why it's innacurate to say x% of cars cannot start without warming on a cold day.
EDIT: Let's say it really is a y/n deal. Only 33% can do it.
Now the government forces everyone to install cameras in their rooms that they will be watching at all times. This naturally upsets the sex lives of many, and the statistic falls to 15%.
So even if refuse to see it as anything but a switch set to yes or no, you have to accept it can be flicked through external circumstances. And if it can be changed, saying "X% can do it" is misleading.
That is one of my big problems with the statistic. Saying "X% can do it" implies it is important to work out whether you are one of the X% or not. But in fact it can change whether you are or not in that X% - so what's the point in making the distinction?
I know, the whole point is who is to say those are unnecessary demands? Whether they are or not depends on her motivations, not on the demands themselves. You cant just say "her controlling video games is bad", you can only consider "how much a part of my life are video games, would I be willing to change that, and why does she want me to change?"
Whaaat?
So she doesn't break up with you, just silently resents you. Sounds like a great relationship ^__^
You'd have to be stupid to break up with someone who hated something that was a big part of you ^__^
But so does sex.
Please tell me what a "plateau of arousal" is. Is this plateau-shape taken from the well-published and verified graph of "sexual arousal vs foreplay success in females"?
No I cant think of any reasons why people might want to take money off of others, sometimes through force, either. What is this world coming to?
Because all girls hate porn, amirite?
Here's a hint: No you are not right.
I'd love to argue this point, but debating whether or not pornography is inherently evil and immoral is a bit off-topic, I'd say.
But to exclude them just because they are popular is at least as equally blind as choosing them because they are popular.
So can dropping habits like "too much video games", "hanging out with certain people" or "eating choices", the other examples you list as "don't give up"s, score mucho brownie points.
There is no distinction here except that the above behaviours are more widely acceptable as "bad". I would disagree that pornography is "bad", and so it actually belongs in the second category which you are keen to denounce as "unreasonable to give up".
He's just been forced to stop doing something he enjoys. Why would that necessarily give him a "plus sign above the head"?
That said, there is a secret lying in the fact that many describe it as a porn "habit". If you stop the behaviour even temporarily, and receive sincere positive feedback from your girlfriend in response, you'll probably find the behaviour easier to drop. It's not like you need to watch porn, you choose to. And being rewarded for not watching it is likely to make the choice here less automatic.
It's not unlikely that after the porn habit goes, another issue will pop up that's "really frustrating her". If you show her she can change you, don't be surprised if she keeps trying in other ways.
If you don't want to end up in "*****" territory, you have to look at her intentions here, and decide if they are reasonable. It doesn't matter what she is asking of you, despite what Tarbosh says. What matters is why she is asking it.
You don't need to judge if it's a "BIG enough issue" (to use Tarbosh's words). You need to judge if it's a BIG enough issue to her.
is still playing in my head.