Quote from Flatline »
@everyone....If you want a thorough beginner's guide to card design, bravelion's series on the topic is quite good...... http://www.mtgsalvation.com/userblogs/the-lions-lair/42320-article-index
...except maybe a little outdated by now. It still has the old rubric in it! The general principles still apply of course, but I might need to revise those someday. I honestly don't know when that might be though. Real life is always an angry beast to deal with, and it requires attention if you don't want it to eat you like a dinosaur its prey! (Can you guess what my favorite tribe by far in Ixalan is?)
And speaking of that (real life), I want to apologize for not having be as active as I used to be this month. I will not enter into details, but I've had health issues at the beginning of the month and I've undergone surgery exactly seven days ago. Nothing serious and all went well, but I'm still in the process of healing. That's why you haven't been hearing a lot from me lately, and also why I didn't apply as a judge this month. I'll come back to participate and judge in contests as soon as I get better, hopefully next month already.
) Anyway, thanks for accepting me as judge if no one else want to do it. If someone else does, as I said, I'd be more than happy to play instead.
1
Side-note: I am hopefully moving this week, so I might not be able to judge next month. I did not judge this month mainly because of that, though I hope that I can judge next month (regardless of "saving the day" or not).
2
If you would ever like any of your cards that I have judged to be individually reviewed, feel free to message me privately. I am human; I make errors. I know that I have been aloof on these forums in the past, but I truly do want to do right by the Custom Magic community (not just MTGSalvation, mind). In particular, I have seen your work and believe that you definitely know what you are doing when it comes to design. I had no ill will when I made my judgments last week (at least, I do not believe that I did, and I hope that can be believed to be the case).
I will even explain the layers problem that I mentioned, should you like. I only warn that it might end up to be a complex read.
This month's host, bravelion83, indeed clarified the rules of the main challenge after many of this week's submissions had been made. However, in his defense, I do not believe that he ever changed the rules of the main challenge.
As a public service announcement to everyone: It should be every contestant's responsibility to read and understand the clarifications that come with most MCC weeks, especially when the host explicitly calls for it. Plus, anyone should feel free ask a host (either by a public post in this thread or by a private message) for further clarification should one be unsure of anything.
To SubSilentio,
I sincerely apologize for my mistake with no excuses and no justifications. I can only agree with you now, publicly, that you are right and I was wrong.
It was irresponsible of me as a judge to not find time and seek my own clarification and not merely assume based off of repeated past experiences of new users posting silly flavor text attributed to important and canonical characters. I am at fault here for this, and I appreciate the humility.
The only logical consolation that I can offer is as follows: even if I were to elevate your score in the flavor criterion by one and a half points, the maximum that I can reasonably add, you would still be half a point short of a second place tie. Nowhere else in my judgment upon thorough reviewing do I find any other place were I could add points with this insight (except I would need to post my new final thoughts on your card in the aftermath). I can make this edit to my post if you would like, even if it cannot change the outcome of the bracket.
But, I sincerely thank you for bringing this to my attention. Firstly, I hope that you do not feel ill will towards me as a result of my display of negligent hubris; secondly, I hope that I can become a better judge as a result of this in the aftermath with thanks to you.
Admittedly, should you indeed return to participate and compete in future months, I further hope that you would not dread my judgments towards your future cards. Again, I can only apologize with the utmost sincerity that I can realistically communicate over the internet.
If you (or anyone) possesses any concerns with my judgments, additional or otherwise, please do not hesitate to let me know. I will do my best to be more receptive to criticism in the future, as that is a responsibility of mine to be a better MCC judge for the future months to come.
1
2
4
(1.5/3) Appeal: This is definitely not a Timmy card; this creature is simply too small for his immediate tastes. As for Johnny and Spike, especially Johnny, this card has some exciting possibilities. This creature is a one-man crew for Consulate Dreadnought at instant speed, and that is likely only one of the possible possibilities. Spike likes the instant speed creature that comes with a sort of Siege Modification/Aerial Modification as well.
(3/3) Elegance: Elegantly engineered!
Development -
(2.5/3) Viability: Unfortunately, I find that this does not possess enough white mechanically. In the place of white, I believe that red might be a better second color here along with blue. This card is just fine as a Rare, as it is mechanically a step up from the Uncommon modifications.
(3/3) Balance: Despite the bending of colors, this card is fine as-is balance-wise.
It is difficult to imagine a format, sanctioned or otherwise, where a card such as this would not play just fine. As long as said format includes Vehicles, of course.
Creativity -
(2/3) Uniqueness: There have been plenty of effects that untap nonland permanents in blue and white before, but there is still plenty of design space being explored with this card.
(2/3) Flavor: This card's name is fine, and this card's flavor text is good, but without red, which is a more rebellious (less righteous) color than white, this card's overall flavor ends up being somewhat off for me as a Vorthos.
Polish -
(1.5/3) Quality: Both instances of the word "vehicle" in the rules text need to be capitalized (minus one point). Also, the word 'for' should be in between the words "creature" and "as" (minus half a point).
(2/2) Main Challenge: Main challenge met!
(2/2) Subchallenges: Both subchallenges met!
Total: 19.5/25
Final thought: I learned today that 'hotwire', 'hot wire', and 'hot-wire' are all apparently correct ways to spell the term, for the record!
(1/3) Appeal: Tammy is bored by a small creature such as this, despite the upsides.
Jenny could perhaps use this to build some kind of sacrifice engine, but it is not the best for that job.
Spike likes this card, though while it is efficient, the uses for this card are relatively narrow. The environment for this card would have to provide small artifacts worth sacrificing and large artifacts that are destroying, both of which could be somewhat uncertain. Thankfully, we are at least in Kaladesh.
(2.5/3) Elegance: 'Activate this ability once per turn' is a phrase of rules text that is less elegant than, say, a simply elegant tap, yet the elegance on display here is almost perfect otherwise.
Development -
(1/3) Viability: Everything about this card is black except for the fact that it can destroy noncreature artifacts. This is one of the few effects that black cannot have, no matter how much life could be paid. I daresay that the very rules of the game would be bent just because of this effect being introduced into this color.
On the bright side, it is still the appropriate rarity for a hate bear with upside, which is Rare.
(2/3) Balance: Aside from the second ability being completely out of color (and able to activate at instant speed during each player's turn), this card is otherwise an inoffensive 2/2 menacer for two mana in black at a rarity of Rare. Simply put, a nonviable card can still be somewhat balanced.
Creativity -
(2.5/3) Uniqueness: Believe it or not, there is actually at least one black card with a similar effect. It is a very old and very narrow enchantment card called Gate to Phyrexia from Antiquities.
(2/3) Flavor: This card name is fine, and this flavor text is fine, but the mechanics of this card (regardless of a lack of viability) feel rather separated from this card's flavor. As a Vorthos, I cannot say that this card has synchronized flavor as a result.
Polish -
(3/3) Quality: Perfect!
(2/2) Main Challenge: Main challenge met!
(2/2) Subchallenges: Both subchallenges met!
Total: 18/25
Final thought: Notably, the type line in Magic Set Editor 2 does not quite fit 'Creature — Aetherborn Artificer Rogue' without having to shrink the font.
(1.5/3) Appeal: Tammy is rather bored by this card.
Jenny likes this sacrifice engine that also generates card advantage. It could perhaps fuel something with a greater purpose.
Spike really likes this card, since it is significantly above the curve compared to the current power level of Standard. It may even be Modern playable. It also takes skill to know when it is alright to pay life, and skill to know which artifacts to sacrifice when and for what reasons.
(3/3) Elegance: No significant inelegances here.
Development -
(3/3) Viability: The colors of choice, blue and black, are correct for this card that generates card advantage and pays life to create tokens.
The chosen rarity of Rare is also appropriate a potent card advantage engine such as this as well.
(0.5/3) Balance: Simply put, this card can generate so much card advantage (at instant speed) that it would be soul crushing to not have an answer to in a game of Magic, especially in Limited, despite being two colors. Tokens are simply too plentiful in the majority of sets these days for that to not be the case. Getting suffocated by card disadvantage is especially not fun in a casual game, either.
Creativity -
(1/3) Uniqueness: Not much in the way of new ground has been tread here. There are tons of cards that create tokens, although paying life to create them is somewhat unexplored. However, the second ability basically turns every artifact into a clue token, and investigate was just in the large set of the previous block, Shadows over Innistrad.
(1/3) Flavor: This card name is really rather bland. By comparison, the flavor text is nicer, although I have no idea whatsoever as to who "Tirno Isarta" is. It makes sense for a creator to create a servo, and an inference can be made about them sacrificing their own 'imperfect' creations. However, this card's flavor is overall out for sync for me as a Vorthos.
Polish -
(0.5/3) Quality: There is a space missing in between the comma before the tap symbol and the actual tap symbol on the first line (minus half a point).
In regards to grammar, the flavor text is also missing a comma in between "perfect" and "then" (minus half a point). There should be no space in between the long dash and the name of the person being quoted (minus half a point). Finally, the long dash plus the name of the person being quoted should be on its own line, underneath the quotation (minus half a point).
(2/2) Main Challenge: Main challenge met!
(2/2) Subchallenges: Both subchallenges met!
Total: 14.5/25
Final thoughts: My apologies, but I felt the need to actually be rather critical of this card. Best of luck next month, Harbinger!
(1/3) Appeal: Basically, Tammy is uninterested in such a small card. Spike is also uninterested in this card due to how slow it is to get going in a meaningful way.
Jenny likes such a card for the variety of interactions that can come from copying a different artifact every turn if need be. It may just present a certain puzzle that other cards like Saheeli's Artistry or Mechanized Production do not necessarily present.
(0.5/3) Elegance: There are not just one, but two memory issues with this card. First, it is an end step trigger that cares about events that happened during the previous phases. The second, and even worse, memory issue is that there is a second end step trigger that cares about the previous trigger.
Also, creating a token clone of a nontoken is inherently inelegant, at least in my experience.
At least the card only has the one line of rules text.
Development -
(2/3) Viability: This card is definitely not blue due the fact that revolt is in black, green, and white, yet not blue or red. Yet, the card's effect is definitely not white; it is only maybe white at all because of the revolt. As a result, this card is off-color.
At least it is indeed at the appropriate rarity of Rare.
(1/3) Balance: First off, the power and toughness of this card would be bad on a 2-drop, especially on a multicolored one. So, the effect in this case needs to be very good, and the weird thing is that it likely is not but could potentially be the crux of some kind of degenerate combo that I have yet to think of. Either way, it is difficult to play even in Limited since it, by design, can only target nontoken artifacts, plus needing ways to consistently trigger revolt. However, if all of the stars do align consistently enough, say in a Constructed format, it can become very degenerate very quickly since the effect would likely be very difficult to deal with every turn without an answer card.
Creativity -
(2/3) Uniqueness: There have been cards that copy artifacts before, but it is still a relatively unexplored design space.
(0.5/3) Flavor: No flavor text.
The card name is a little bland (Marvelous is a nice word, yet Shaper is not particularly Kaladeshi), the card does not feel at all white flavor-wise regardless of the revolt, the card does not feel at all blue because of the revolt, and the card overall feels inharmonious for me as a Vorthos as a result.
Polish -
(2/3) Quality: The first contraction in the line of rules text, "thats", is missing an apostrophe (minus half a point).
The line of rules text should have been split up into two sentences like so: '...a copy of target nontoken artifact. Sacrifice that token at the beginning of next end step.' (minus half a point).
(2/2) Main Challenge: Main challenge met!
(2/2) Subchallenges: Both subchallenges met!
Total: 13/25
(1/3) Appeal: This card is a little small for Timmy, not so small as to be insignificant but it is not exactly one of the big vehicles that he prefers in comparison to the smaller pilots.
Johnny might have a use for this sort of card, maybe. It reliably accrues both energy and +1/+1 counters. Surely it can form some kind of engine (since you can untap it and crew yet another vehicle or even the same vehicle all over again).
Spike definitely likes this card for red-white Vehicles, although the energy is meaningless to them in a vehicle deck, and energy decks do not typically run Vehicles (at least that I know of).
(3/3) Elegance: Minus the quality errors, there are no inelegances presented with this card that meaningfully impact gameplay.
Development -
(2/3) Viability: This card is entirely in-color, since the Vehicle archetype for Kaladesh is red-white.
Uncommon is also the correct rarity for such a simplistic card.
Another problem is that it is energy and crewing are both parasitic mechanics that are mechanically restricted to the Kaladesh block. Intertwining two parasitic mechanics together in the way that has been presented here has majorly hurt this card's overall viability.
(3/3) Balance: Conveniently, three power has ended up being the standard for a card being good at crewing Vehicles. It also continuously accrues energy (as long as you have a Vehicle) and continuously builds up a Vehicle's power and toughness. This card certainly has merit, but the two toughness prevents it from being overbearing, allowing it to be easily answered with most cheap removal. The card being multicolored is also good for this card's balance as well.
Creativity -
(2/3) Uniqueness: Giving noncreature permanents +1/+1 counters, especially Vehicles, has been done before (see Earthen Arms, Lifecraft Awakening, Untethered Express, et cetera). However, no creature so far has gained energy from crewing a vehicle as of yet, so that is indeed unique.
(1.5/3) Flavor: The card name here is great, but the flavor text leaves quite a bit to be desired in comparison. Also, these card's effects are a little bland flavorfully, leaving me as a Vorthos feeling disconnected in regards to this card's attempt flavor.
Polish -
(0/3) Quality: The cardname "Ovalchase Tinker" should be bolded (minus half a point). The colored mana symbols are in the wrong order (the mana cost should be templated as 2RW in this case, minus half a point).
The left parenthesis for this card's reminder text is not italicized (minus half a point).
The word "put" should be capitalized (minus half a point). The word "vehicule" is not only misspelled, yet also needs to be capitalized (minus one point).
A period at the end of the sentence of flavor text is also missing (minus half a point).
(2/2) Main Challenge: Main challenge met!
(1/2) Subchallenges: Subchallenge 2 met!
Total: 15.5/25
(1/3) Appeal: Tammy likes this card somewhat for its potential for become really big with the potential for a really big effect. It is really good in multiplayer, especially with the current metagame of Commander as well.
Jenny does not really have anything worth doing with this card. The payoff is simply not there for her.
Spike finds this card to be far too narrow. Not every deck runs artifacts, and sacrificing your own servo or clue token just puts you behind more often than not and is not worth the extra +1/+1 counter as a result. Maybe it can trigger revolt reliably enough, although this card is not worth building around.
(3/3) Elegance: This card does not possess any significant inelegances. (See Quality, though.)
Development -
(3/3) Viability: This card is definitely red with artifact destruction. Thankfully, red is secondary in trample.
This card is also definitely Uncommon with a simple enough enters the battlefield effect and an evergreen keyword.
(2.5/3) Balance: First off, this card is likely very good in multiplayer, but not really anywhere else. Otherwise, this card is barely playable in Limited. Playable, but often not particularly great for being an Uncommon with a specific mana cost.
Creativity -
(1.5/3) Uniqueness: The enters the battlefield effect of this card is not particularly new but it is not particularly old either.
(0/3) Flavor: No offense, but this card is empty of flavor. Nothing about this card is Kaladeshi. This card name is bland, the flavor text is uninteresting, and the mechanics have this card have nothing to do with either flavor component, unfortunately.
Polish -
(2/3) Quality: The major quality problem with this card is that the first word of the second line of rules text, "when", makes this card quite a bit weaker than it should be. For the sake of timing, the correct word in this case is 'as': 'As Empty Hero enters the battlefield, each player...'
Currently, Empty Hero will never get any +1/+1 counters as a result of its own artifact destruction, despite the intent.
(2/2) Main Challenge: Main challenge met!
(2/2) Subchallenges: Both subchallenges met!
Total: 17/25
(2/3) Appeal: Timmy is disinterested in this small card.
Simply put, Johnny is appealed to by this card's concept because of the ability to create interesting combos with it from graveyards.
Spike likes the versatility of this card, as it can destroy artifacts, create artifacts, and even hate on the graveyards of opponents if need be.
(1.5/3) Elegance: This card feels as though it should be two completely different cards, rather than one card amalgamated together. (Also, see Quality.)
Development -
(1.5/3) Viability: Mechanically, this card cannot be blue due the fact that revolt is in black, green, and white, yet not blue or red. Also, neither white nor blue can destroy a target artifact so simply.
Regardless, this card is at the correct rarity of Rare.
(1/3) Balance: First off, reanimating copies of cards at the cost of exiling them (presumably indefinitely) is a very interesting idea.
However, artifact removal in these colors without a meaningful condition to meet hurts this card's balance as well as the possible degeneracy that the second ability involves. This card simply does too much as one single card.
Creativity -
(2/3) Uniqueness: There have been cards that copy artifacts before, but it is still a relatively unexplored design space.
(1.5/3) Flavor: This card name is really nice and straightforward (and not actually taken!)
By comparison, the flavor text does not read well, and I have no idea whatsoever as to who 'Clandon Rahr' actually is. There is definitely a crucially intact flavor connection here, but it still seems frayed and scattered to me as a Vorthos.
Polish -
(0/3) Quality: The word revolt of the revolt ability needs to be italicized (minus half a point). Not only should the dash between the word revolt and the first word of the ability should be a long dash '—', there should also be spaces on either side of the dash (minus half a point).
There should be a comma and a space in between the mana symbol and the tap symbol (minus half a point). Also, on the second sentence of this line of rules text, "that is" should be replaced with 'that's a' (Magic rules text prefers contractions, minus half a point).
There should be no space in between the dash, which should be a long dash '—', and the name of the person being quoted (minus half a point). Finally, the long dash plus the name of the person being quoted should be on its own line, underneath the quotation (minus half a point).
There are enough quality mistakes on this card to actually constitute an inelegance.
(2/2) Main Challenge: Main challenge met!
(2/2) Subchallenges: Both subchallenges met!
Total: 13.5/25
Final thought: Maybe this card could have just returned artifacts from the graveyard to the battlefield, despite the recursion. After changing the race to dwarf or human from vedalken, and fixing up the revolt to be less of a color pie break, and this concept may have actually been able to exist as a solely white card in-color.
(1.5/3) Appeal: Timmy really had no cards to be truly appealed by during the course of this round, so it seems.
Johnny can definitely do something with an effect like this, maybe something to do with Electrostatic Pummeler, maybe something to do with something else.
Spike loves an aggressively statted body for three mana with very potent in-color interactions. (See Balance.)
(2/3) Elegance: In the Kaladesh block, there are multiple effects that have artifacts become creatures without them entering the battlefield (vehicles, Tezzeret's Touch, et cetera). Hence, a ruling is required that seems unintuitive initially.
Also, a somewhat odd evolve mechanic by itself as a one-of on its own is inelegant, since it affects your entire board unintuitively.
Development -
(2.5/3) Viability: Doubtlessly, this card is both correctly Green and correctly Uncommon.
However, to be perfectly honest, introducing what really seems like it should be a set mechanic (see Adaptive Snapjaw, et cetera) as a one-of does hurt this card's viability.
(2/3) Balance: First off, this card is really good with servos and thopters, as they will enter the battlefield as 2/2s instead of 1/1s thanks to this card by its lonesome. Other than that, this card is otherwise very fair. So, it fits nicely with fabricate.
Creativity -
(2/3) Uniqueness: Evolve is already a set mechanic, but this card does take it in a bit of a different direction by inverting it and applying it to artifact creatures in particular.
(1.5/3) Flavor: I like the name of this card just fine, and it does what it does relatively flavorfully. A line of flavor text or two to help tie all of it together would have been nice, though.
Polish -
(3/3) Quality: Perfect!
(2/2) Main Challenge: Main challenge met!
(2/2) Subchallenges: Both subchallenges met!
Total: 18.5/25
Final thoughts: This card should have been GU to reflect the extraplanar Simic guild that it was clearly somehow inspired by, you know.
In all honesty, replacing the line of rules text with "Artifact creatures you control enter the battlefield with an additional +1/+1 counter on them." would have been able to lead to a better card overall, at least in my opinion.
willows — 18.5
Folza — 18
Raptorchan — 17
P E — 15.5
Harbinger — 14.5
TheRealStinkyJoeTerry — 13.5
mirrodin71 — 13
If your username has been bolded here, congratulations are in order — you have qualified for Round 2 of the February MCC! Best of luck!
If your username has not been bolded here, there is always next month. Thank you for participating; best of luck next month!
2
I am happy to help once more, bravelion83, now that my life has stopped imploding...for right now, anyway.
2
Seriously, proudawesome, you are awesome.
1
1
1
My entry from yesterday is all wrong, so very wrong. Shamefully wrong, even!
The intent was that you could cast it at sorcery speed as a 3/3 flyer, or at instant speed as a 2/2 flyer. Obviously, that was not properly conveyed at all.
For the record, I am not creating a card today. To be honest, I should not have created a card yesterday while under the influence of cough medicine, either.