I gotta say, I'm getting really tired of all this incessant whining. Yeah, the median value is super low; it has been for every set like this. Wizards isn't going to make the dream set where median value equals MSRP. There are things they could have done better, but there's a lot of good reprints and wizards is at least showing that they care about eternal formats.
Takahashi, Soratami Archivist3UU
Planeswalker - Takahashi
+1: Scry 2.
-3: Put an X/X blue Elemental creature token onto the battlefield under your control, where X is the number of cards in your hand.
-7: You get an emblem with, "Whenever you would draw a card other than the first card drawn this turn, draw two cards instead."
5
Bountiful Feast 3RGG
Sorcery (R)
Put two +1/+1 counters on each creature you control. Untap all lands you control. "The tribe which does not share the spoils of nature cannot function." -Skarrg, Gruul Shaman
IIW: the graveyard
First-Rate Fire Ants 1RR
Creature - Insect (R) 1R, T: First-Rate Fire Ants deals 3 damage to each other creature without flying.
2/1
(Based on These dudes.)
Finkel Ants 1URB
Creature - Insect (R)
Fear
Whenever Finkel Ants deal damage to a player, choose one: draw a card, or deal 2 damage to target creature or player.
2/2
Ramirez DePietro, Scourge of the Seas 3WUB
Creature - Human Pirate (R)
First Strike
Whenever Ramirez DePietro deals combat damage to a creature, tap that creature. It doesn't untap during its next untap step.
Whenever Ramirez DePietro deals combat damage to a player, draw a card.
4/3 Although his combat skills have improved over the ages, his tall tales haven't gotten any more believable.
Cemetery Grime 2G
Creature - Ooze (rare)
Whenever a creature you control dies, put X +1/+1 counters on Cemetery Grime, where X is that creature's toughness.
Sacrifice a creature: Regenerate Cemetery Grime.
1/1 "It reached out from the emptied grave and rose up in a putrid mass, engulfing poor Henrik completely. I don't think I slept for 3 days after seeing that horrible creature." - Hindrek, recalling the disappearance of his brother Henrik.
Mana Harvester 1U
Creature - Human Artificer (R)
If a land would produce more than one mana, it produces no mana instead.
2/2 Mishra's artifact production lines came to a skittering halt when enterprising mages siphoned out the magical fuel for personal use.
Parasite Skeleton (B/G)
Creature - Skeleton Insect (R)
Put a -1/-1 creature on a creature you control: Put a +1/+1 counter on Parasite Skeleton. Activate this ability only during your main phase.
B: Regenerate Parasite Skeleton.
1/1 They're harder to exterminate when they're already dead.
Plague-Bringer BBB
Creature - Skeleton
When Plague-bringer blocks or is blocked by a creature, put a plague counter on that creature.
At the beginning of each end step, put a -1/-1 counter on each creature with a plague counter on it.
B: Regenerate Plague Bringer.
2/2
Snapcaster Shaman BG
Creature - Human Druid (R)
Flash
When Snapcaster Shaman enters the battlefield, choose target creature card in your graveyard. You may cast that card from your graveyard this turn for its mana cost. When that creature is cast, it gets "If this would die, exile it instead" in addition to its other abilities.
2/1
Argentum, Master Alchemist 2UU
Creature - Human Wizard U, Sacrifice an artifact: Put X Gold artifact tokens with "Sacrifice this token: Add 1 mana to your mana pool." onto the battlefield, where X is the sacrificed artifact's converted mana cost. U, Sacrifice X Gold tokens: return target artifact with converted mana cost X from your graveyard to the battlefield.
3/3
Next: A commander that is also playable in legacy.
Hand of the Oni 3BBR
Creature - Ogre Ninja
Ninjutsu 2BR
Whenever Hand of the Oni deals combat damage to a player, that player reveals their hand, then loses life equal to the highest converted mana cost among cards in their hand.
4/4 In an attempt to better serve his demonic masters, the ogre took up more subtle ways of combat.
Kamikaze Skeleton 1BR
Creature - Skeleton
Haste
When Kamikaze Skeleton blocks or becomes blocked, destroy all creatures blocking it and sacrifice it at end of combat.
When Kamikaze Skeleton attacks and isn't blocked, it deals 6 damage to the defending player. Sacrifice it at end of combat.
3/1
Kiloton Skeleton 6BB
Creature - Giant Skeleton
Kiloton Skeleton cannot be blocked except by two or more creatures.
2B: Regenerate Kiloton Skeleton.
7/7
Illusory Skeleton UB
Creature - Skeleton Illusion
2/3
B: Regenerate Illusory Skeleton.
If Illusory Skeleton is the target of a spell or ability, sacrifice it.
Intestine Devourer 1BBB
Creature - Skeleton Zombie
Sacrifice a creature: Put a +1/+1 counter on Intestine Devourer.
Whenever a creature blocks or is blocked by Intestine Devourer, destroy that creature and put a +1/+1 counter on Intestine Devourer.
2/4
Sultai Grave-Robber UBG
Creature - Human Bandit T: Draw a card, then discard a card. UBG, T: Return target card from your graveyard to your hand, then discard a card.
3/3
Preordain
Counterspell
Sylvan Library
Show and Tell
Dark Ritual
Out:
Snapcaster mage
Liliana of the Veil
Rest in Peace
Searing Blood
Courser of Kruphix
Planeswalker - Takahashi
+1: Scry 2.
-3: Put an X/X blue Elemental creature token onto the battlefield under your control, where X is the number of cards in your hand.
-7: You get an emblem with, "Whenever you would draw a card other than the first card drawn this turn, draw two cards instead."
5
Next: Graveyard shenanigans
Sorcery (R)
Put two +1/+1 counters on each creature you control. Untap all lands you control.
"The tribe which does not share the spoils of nature cannot function." -Skarrg, Gruul Shaman
IIW: the graveyard
Creature - Insect (R)
1R, T: First-Rate Fire Ants deals 3 damage to each other creature without flying.
2/1
(Based on These dudes.)
Finkel Ants 1URB
Creature - Insect (R)
Fear
Whenever Finkel Ants deal damage to a player, choose one: draw a card, or deal 2 damage to target creature or player.
2/2
Ramirez DePietro, Scourge of the Seas 3WUB
Creature - Human Pirate (R)
First Strike
Whenever Ramirez DePietro deals combat damage to a creature, tap that creature. It doesn't untap during its next untap step.
Whenever Ramirez DePietro deals combat damage to a player, draw a card.
4/3
Although his combat skills have improved over the ages, his tall tales haven't gotten any more believable.
Cemetery Grime 2G
Creature - Ooze (rare)
Whenever a creature you control dies, put X +1/+1 counters on Cemetery Grime, where X is that creature's toughness.
Sacrifice a creature: Regenerate Cemetery Grime.
1/1
"It reached out from the emptied grave and rose up in a putrid mass, engulfing poor Henrik completely. I don't think I slept for 3 days after seeing that horrible creature." - Hindrek, recalling the disappearance of his brother Henrik.
Creature - Human Artificer (R)
If a land would produce more than one mana, it produces no mana instead.
2/2
Mishra's artifact production lines came to a skittering halt when enterprising mages siphoned out the magical fuel for personal use.
IIW: The graveyard
Creature - Skeleton Insect (R)
Put a -1/-1 creature on a creature you control: Put a +1/+1 counter on Parasite Skeleton. Activate this ability only during your main phase.
B: Regenerate Parasite Skeleton.
1/1
They're harder to exterminate when they're already dead.
Plague-Bringer BBB
Creature - Skeleton
When Plague-bringer blocks or is blocked by a creature, put a plague counter on that creature.
At the beginning of each end step, put a -1/-1 counter on each creature with a plague counter on it.
B: Regenerate Plague Bringer.
2/2
Creature - Human Druid (R)
Flash
When Snapcaster Shaman enters the battlefield, choose target creature card in your graveyard. You may cast that card from your graveyard this turn for its mana cost. When that creature is cast, it gets "If this would die, exile it instead" in addition to its other abilities.
2/1
Creature - Human Wizard
U, Sacrifice an artifact: Put X Gold artifact tokens with "Sacrifice this token: Add 1 mana to your mana pool." onto the battlefield, where X is the sacrificed artifact's converted mana cost.
U, Sacrifice X Gold tokens: return target artifact with converted mana cost X from your graveyard to the battlefield.
3/3
Next: A commander that is also playable in legacy.
Creature - Ogre Ninja
Ninjutsu 2BR
Whenever Hand of the Oni deals combat damage to a player, that player reveals their hand, then loses life equal to the highest converted mana cost among cards in their hand.
4/4
In an attempt to better serve his demonic masters, the ogre took up more subtle ways of combat.
Next: Human Sliver
Creature - Skeleton
Haste
When Kamikaze Skeleton blocks or becomes blocked, destroy all creatures blocking it and sacrifice it at end of combat.
When Kamikaze Skeleton attacks and isn't blocked, it deals 6 damage to the defending player. Sacrifice it at end of combat.
3/1
Kiloton Skeleton 6BB
Creature - Giant Skeleton
Kiloton Skeleton cannot be blocked except by two or more creatures.
2B: Regenerate Kiloton Skeleton.
7/7
Creature - Skeleton Illusion
2/3
B: Regenerate Illusory Skeleton.
If Illusory Skeleton is the target of a spell or ability, sacrifice it.
Intestine Devourer 1BBB
Creature - Skeleton Zombie
Sacrifice a creature: Put a +1/+1 counter on Intestine Devourer.
Whenever a creature blocks or is blocked by Intestine Devourer, destroy that creature and put a +1/+1 counter on Intestine Devourer.
2/4
Creature - Human Bandit
T: Draw a card, then discard a card.
UBG, T: Return target card from your graveyard to your hand, then discard a card.
3/3
IIW: the graveyard