Saying Dan Savage is biphobic just reveals how easily people can be taken out of context. If you actually listen to his podcasts regularly you'll know that that's a load of horse****. He's upfront and honest about what he thinks, and the PC to the extreme wing of the LGBT community for some reason cannot handle that.
Pointing out that bisexuality is a "stepping stone" for many gays in their coming out process is not biphobic, it's a fact. This does not mean that bi* people don't exist, it simply means that the gay folk out there are abusing the identity to ease their own transition into being out as gay.
The trans* issues are more sensitive. I agree that he tends to ignore those issues, which is a pretty serious problem for the trans* acceptance movement, and in the past he has said some insensitive **** about trans* folk. But I think he's become aware of this and is turning the ship around. If we want to win over hearts and minds, we should applaud people for their decisions to be better people, not constantly hold their past mistakes over their heads. Who would want to change if that's what change looks like?
i'm there now! chapel hill definitely isn't in the middle of nowhere. durham and raleigh are 30 minutes away. plus carrboro is pretty awesome. what's your interview for?
Ph.D. in Neurobiology. Though I also have a bunch of other interviews so it's not 100% where I'm going to end up in the fall.
yep, i'm chase. i remembered his name: lars stephan. you can google image search him. he's done some nude modeling...
Further research reveals he's a bit too skinny for my taste but hey I sure as hell wouldn't kick him out of bed.
P.S. You were in NC at one point right? How is it living there? I have an interview at Chapel Hill but I'm not sure how I feel about living in the middle of nowhere....
Chase (it is you, right? I forget what your un was...) : I figured out why I like #5. I think it's because he reminds me of Brian Kinney with facial hair. I tend to be attracted to the Kinney's of the world far too often, it's rather unfortunate.
1) Will you talk to anyone regardless of age/race/physical attractiveness to you? (This is not just on dating apps because not everyone uses them)
I'm assuming this is not simply in the context of flirting. In that case yeah totally. Some of the most interesting conversations I have are based off of random conversations with people totally unlike me. Why talk to people who are just like you? That seems boring to me. And physical attractiveness is only mildly important to me.
2) Do you find a frequent use of "lol" in conversation a little annoying? I like to laugh and make people laugh so this is mostly when "lol" doesn't really make much sense or is used instead of actual talking.
Yeah, it's an indicator that they don't know what to say much of the time. Idk, it doesn't bother me that much, but it does a bit.
3) How young are your friends in comparison to you?
About the same age as I am (20-22) with the exception of a few who are more around the late-twenties.
4) Do you have an age range that you think about with regards to dating?/Is there a too young or too old for you?
Of course I'll give the standard disclaimer that attitude is more important than the number. I'd also say that life-stage is important too. I'm going to graduate school next year and I'll be making some money. Not a lot, mind you, but I'll be paying my own bills and making my own way in life. I'd probably look for someone in the same boat, or at least capable of supporting me in that role (not some undergrad that wants to go out on a Thursday night when I have work in the morning).
If I had to put a number to it, I'd say between 19 and 25, but like I said those other things matter more than the number.
5) Do you want a relationship?/Why or why not?
I mean yeah, it'd be nice I guess with the right person. Companionship is always nice. But I have to say I would not rush into a relationship for the sake of having one. I had the option of doing so and I passed up on it. This may change as I get older, though.
6) Is it unreasonable to believe you should have a reason for doing things?
Not sure what you mean. We do many mundane subtle things in our day to day life without an explicit "reason", and there are other things we do which we reason through first....
7) i know the conversation is pretty generic on both our parts. What age did you think he was from his side?
Sounded mentally like he was underage. As in under 21 for sure, possible under 18. If he isn't, then he certainly acts like it, imo. *shrug*
#2 looks like a nice guy, #3 looks a little arrogant (so of course I would find him attractive... >_>) but I'd have to go with #5. Can't really say why, just a feeling.
Oh- (as in "Oh!") thi- (rhymes with "knee") to (as in rhymes with "row")
My name has a really convoluted backstory. I'm a big and somewhat hairy guy so my freshman year all of my Asian friends called me "kuma" which means "bear" in Japanese. It was a big joke because they called me a "bear" before I came out as gay to them, so when I came out it stuck even more, so much so that my Hispanic friends called me "Oso" ("bear" in Spanish) but with a lisp so it sounded like "Otho". Eventually they added the diminutive to make it cute, so now it's "othito".
That's sounds a hell of a lot more convoluted when I type it out....
Names don't matter as much as connections and networking do. I just went on an interview at Brown for a grad program in Neuroscience and one of the interviewers knew a guy I work closely with. The fact that I can say "Yeah I know Mike, he's my go-to physiology guy!" really does make a tangible difference. It helps get me into the "Ivy circle".
Now it's important to note that I'm going for a PhD in Neuroscience. Academic research like this is very "political" in some ways, and not at all in others. But you cannot deny that if you're on an admissions committee and you're reading a letter of recommendation from a guy you went to grad school with, you're totally going to be positively swayed with that candidate.
So you're saying whether or not something is a date depends on their relationship to you?
Something like that.
But within a relationship, not all time-sharing activities are dates, so I'm still not certain I agree with this. The "date" concept seems to me to be a special occasion type of thing rather than every time you go out to eat.
True. Maybe I'm just not into "dates" then, if that's how you define them. I'm more interested in just spending time with people I like.
You misunderstand me. Are you saying the only difference between a date and a non-date is what you choose to call it?
Well, yes and no. Dates can be very relaxed and appear much like a hangout session. Rarely do I do "date-like" activities with friends but it does happen (like going out to dinner/movie/coffee). It's not about the content of the hangout/date as much as it's about the attitude for me. Dates are about spending time with someone you are romantically interested in, hanging out is the same to me except with friends.
(and I have dibs on GoldenBi too.... man James Bond is awesome for these puns!)
(P.S. I promise I'll reappear in March, this month I have eight interviews for grad school so I'm crazy busy....)
Pointing out that bisexuality is a "stepping stone" for many gays in their coming out process is not biphobic, it's a fact. This does not mean that bi* people don't exist, it simply means that the gay folk out there are abusing the identity to ease their own transition into being out as gay.
The trans* issues are more sensitive. I agree that he tends to ignore those issues, which is a pretty serious problem for the trans* acceptance movement, and in the past he has said some insensitive **** about trans* folk. But I think he's become aware of this and is turning the ship around. If we want to win over hearts and minds, we should applaud people for their decisions to be better people, not constantly hold their past mistakes over their heads. Who would want to change if that's what change looks like?
Ditto, seriously. I'm always looking for cool gamer art.
Ph.D. in Neurobiology. Though I also have a bunch of other interviews so it's not 100% where I'm going to end up in the fall.
Further research reveals he's a bit too skinny for my taste but hey I sure as hell wouldn't kick him out of bed.
P.S. You were in NC at one point right? How is it living there? I have an interview at Chapel Hill but I'm not sure how I feel about living in the middle of nowhere....
Yeah, it's an indicator that they don't know what to say much of the time. Idk, it doesn't bother me that much, but it does a bit.
About the same age as I am (20-22) with the exception of a few who are more around the late-twenties.
Of course I'll give the standard disclaimer that attitude is more important than the number. I'd also say that life-stage is important too. I'm going to graduate school next year and I'll be making some money. Not a lot, mind you, but I'll be paying my own bills and making my own way in life. I'd probably look for someone in the same boat, or at least capable of supporting me in that role (not some undergrad that wants to go out on a Thursday night when I have work in the morning).
If I had to put a number to it, I'd say between 19 and 25, but like I said those other things matter more than the number.
I mean yeah, it'd be nice I guess with the right person. Companionship is always nice. But I have to say I would not rush into a relationship for the sake of having one. I had the option of doing so and I passed up on it. This may change as I get older, though.
Not sure what you mean. We do many mundane subtle things in our day to day life without an explicit "reason", and there are other things we do which we reason through first....
Sounded mentally like he was underage. As in under 21 for sure, possible under 18. If he isn't, then he certainly acts like it, imo. *shrug*
My name has a really convoluted backstory. I'm a big and somewhat hairy guy so my freshman year all of my Asian friends called me "kuma" which means "bear" in Japanese. It was a big joke because they called me a "bear" before I came out as gay to them, so when I came out it stuck even more, so much so that my Hispanic friends called me "Oso" ("bear" in Spanish) but with a lisp so it sounded like "Otho". Eventually they added the diminutive to make it cute, so now it's "othito".
That's sounds a hell of a lot more convoluted when I type it out....
Now it's important to note that I'm going for a PhD in Neuroscience. Academic research like this is very "political" in some ways, and not at all in others. But you cannot deny that if you're on an admissions committee and you're reading a letter of recommendation from a guy you went to grad school with, you're totally going to be positively swayed with that candidate.
That is an amazing list. I couldn't agree more.
True. Maybe I'm just not into "dates" then, if that's how you define them. I'm more interested in just spending time with people I like.
Well, yes and no. Dates can be very relaxed and appear much like a hangout session. Rarely do I do "date-like" activities with friends but it does happen (like going out to dinner/movie/coffee). It's not about the content of the hangout/date as much as it's about the attitude for me. Dates are about spending time with someone you are romantically interested in, hanging out is the same to me except with friends.
Do you see it differently?