Section the First: Setting the Scene
Before we bother getting into the deck's rhyme or reason, let's catch up on the lore of the good Stitcher:
The moon shone brightly over the empty skies of the Moorland, casting a calming glow through the lab's windows. Geralf set down his forceps and pulled a hand from its grimy glove to wipe his brow. He took a moment to admire his latest creation.
The skaab that lay on the table was an impressive amalgamation of pieces, freshly (or, at least what passed for fresh in the field of stitching) dredged from the lake not too far away. Of course, it was becoming increasingly difficult to procure human remains in light of the recent developments on Innistrad; his homunculi had fetched all manner of otherworldly bits. Geralf was loathe to stitch the limbs of eldritch horrors - the sinew and muscle of tentacles did not play well with humanoid physiology - but he had been feeling particularly inspired that day. The pile of flesh on the table sported two heads - one of a human, and one of a wolfir. The torso sprouted a multitude of limbs, skin grafts, and rusted armor, all sewn into each other in what would be considered a horrifying mess to anyone other than an accomplished skaaberen.
Ludevic's suggestions worked to perfection! I cannot wait for the next lightning storm, thought Geralf. He pulled off his gloves and lifted his eye loupe. "But until then..." he said aloud, as he glanced across his laboratory at the large tackle box perched on a stool near the door. "I suppose I have earned a day of recreation."
Geralf walked calmly out of his home, passing by a pair of his homunculi as he headed for the forest. One hand held the tackle box, the other, a magnificent fishing pole left for him by his late father. "Oglor! Igretch!" Geralf called to his servants. The diminutive assistants peered up inquisitively with their comically large, singlar eyes. "I leave to relax, and find inspiration in the watery deep!"
The two homunculi looked at each other, then back up at Geralf.
Geralf facepalmed mentally. "I go now," he said, "Master go to fetch-"
"Oglor fetch more corpses!" Oglor interrupted.
"No! Oglor, you stay." Geralf gritted his teeth in frustration. "Igretch, you stay too. Master will be back in a day."
"Igretch stay!" The shorter of the two homunculi snapped off a goofy-looking salute.
"Oglor stay!" Oglor did the same.
"Good," Geralf said finally. He hastened his pace for the woods. There was a very particular fishing hole he was heading for, one that, thanks to its location in the middle of the Moorland (read: nowhere), was nearly untouched by meddlesome humans. Not even his obnoxious sister knew of it. Geralf's mood picked up as he imagined himself at his destination, and he hummed a tune to himself as he walked.
A short while later, Geralf arrived at his beloved fishing spot. But something was different this time. Geralf kept a curious eye on the water as he set down his tackle box and fishing chair. The water seemed to swirl with magical energy, almost as though it were a portal to a faraway land. Intrigued, Geralf moved to the edge of the water and tentatively dipped a finger into it. It felt like ordinary pond water at first, but soon a tingling sensation gripped at the skaaberen's hand. He retracted his finger and stared at it, perplexed. It didn't hurt, but it was certainly out of the ordinary. Geralf shrugged and stepped back, settling into his chair. He popped open his tackle box and plucked an Eldrazi tentacle, about the size of a human index finger, from one of the bait trays and stuck it on his hook.
I know not what has happened to my beloved fishing hole..., Geralf thought. He reached back with his fishing rod and cast his line into the aetherized water. ...But if it is the work of a sea creature, then its limbs shall soon adorn the body of Geralf Cecani's finest new creation!
Section the Second: A Word From Our Sponsor
Howdy! I’m WyvernSlayer - or Wyvern, if you’re in a hurry. I've been a part of the MTG Salvation community for about five years now, and have been playing Magic since 2000. You might remember me from such tepid discussions as the Living End thread, and spouting copious amounts of nonsense in Weebo's Jaya Ballard thread and ISBPathfinder's Lin Sivvi thread here in the Commander subforum. I have an unhealthy love for Trading Post and building terrible Commander decks on a dare.
You would think that, after this long in the game, I'd be a little better at it. <Editor's note: provide link to laugh track>
Anyways, I was drawn to Stitcher Geralf because I thought he was a cool character from Innistrad (there were many, to be fair). When he finally got spoiled, I suppressed my disappointment at how clunky he was and decided to build a deck around him anyway! Most of the lists I saw for Geralf involved making use of his ability predominantly as a mill engine, but let's be real here - if you are using mill as your win condition, there are so many better ways to do it. Getting chunky Zombies to block with is not an excuse. Go build Phenax, God of Deception and maybe stuff Geralf in there as one of the 99 or something.
So... yeah! Thanks for bothering to read my blurb. On to the decklist!
Ever seen someone waste premium removal on a do-nothing enchantment? Neither have I, because this card DOES SOMETHING.
Section the Third: "Gisa, you will not BELIEVE the size of the fish I caught today..."
Section the Fourth: Geralf’s Research Notes
A.K.A., the card-by-card breakdown. Why don’t we start with the exciting part of the deck first?
Breaching Leviathan – Straight away, we’re going to the biggest base power in the deck. 7UU is a ghastly number, but this card’s primary purpose is to be stitched. And hey – if you topdeck into it late game, it’s a great way to clear a path for your crew and close things out!
As Geralf gave the rod a final, mighty tug, the leviathan’s dorsal ridge crested from the pool. A titanic fin breached the surface, then fell back into the water with a deafening crash. Geralf’s expression turned sour as a plume of water surged towards the shore. “Here comes the tidal wave…”
Colossal Whale – Uncuttable, simply for flavor’s sake. I mean, come on – it’s a WHALE. Also, that whole “eat a dude every turn” thing isn’t bad. Just watch out for 187 effects when your opponents inevitably kill it.
Deep-Sea Kraken – The biggest issue when you’re a big-game fisherman is drawing a bunch of uncastable fat. DSK is at least kind enough to let you suspend him for a paltry 3 mana. And no, you will not have to wait nine turns to get it.
River of Serpent – An innocuous 5/5 ground-pounder, sure. Probably not good enough for EDH. But it cycles for a single mana, stitches well, and in what can only be the cutest interaction in the deck... you can drop it into play for free with Quest for Ula's Temple.
Elder Deep-Fiend – Flavor home run. Tapping things is pretty underwhelming in Commander, but sneaking this guy out early just to stick it to the dude who has the mana advantage and let everyone pile on him is quite satisfying.
Geralf frowned at the sight of a bluish tentacle gnarled around his bait. “Another blasted deep-fiend,” he said to no one in particular, and reached out with his surgical shears to cut the line.
Inkwell Leviathan – Tough to deal with and good for stitching, Inky is a solid fish.
Lorthos, the Tidemaker – Do not be fooled; the ability on Lorthos is ridiculously powerful, and well worth the 8 mana if you can manage it. When you lock someone out of the game with it the first time, they will make sure you don’t do it again. Also, 8 power is a great stitch.
Scourge of Fleets – One of a select few fatties that really wants to be cast. There’s no real attempt at graveyard recursion in this deck, so obviously if you mill it, stitch ‘er right up, but a one-sided Evacuation is the perfect setup for an army of blue Zombies to close out the game.
Shipbreaker Kraken – A little weaker than Lorthos’ effect, but a bit easier on the mana, since you can pay over two turns and the tapped stuff stays that way as long as Shipbreaker is alive.
Geralf struggled with his latest bite, fighting with it for what seemed like hours. Finally, the thing he had caught breached the surface. It was a wooden mast, from some great wreck that had somehow ended up in this enchanted fishing hole. Geralf cursed and reached for his shears to cut the line in frustration, when out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a large, suction-cupped noodle wrapped around the lower portion of the mast.
“Aha! I see you down there, you wiggler!” crowed the stitcher. He set both hands back on his fishing pole and began to reel in again. “Your powerful arms will be perfect for my skaabs!”
Stormsurge Kraken – One of the more affordable fish. 5/5 hexproof for 5 isn’t awful by itself, and if you happen to have Geralf in play, it’s a great way to get some damage in. Because honestly, who’s gonna block him?
Stormtide Leviathan – 8/8 means Stormy is a fantastic stitch. The pseudo-Moat he presents when cast is powerful (and you have plenty of ways to get around it, yourself). You’re never sad to see this one.
Tromokratis – He’s one of the more unimpressive fish, in my experience – another candidate for replacement. He’s got hexproof except when you actually need it, and his “can’t be blocked unless…” clause should have ended after the first three words. Still, 8/8 for 5UU is actually a good rate for a kraken/leviathan, and the body makes for a great half of a Zombie.
“This next one’s gonna be the lunker, I can feel it…”
Azure Mage – Not a fish. But it’s a cheap play with a good ability, even if it is a little overcosted. You can tell I made this deck with the intent to pick up a Training Grounds at some point.
Body Double – Did you mill it with Geralf? Feels bad, man. But it’s a good way to get value out of all those sweet creatures you milled, but didn’t stitch. Five-mana Breaching Leviathan is pretty good, I hear.
Mindshrieker – It’s a cheap creature that does a wacky impression of Geralf’s stitching ability, even if it only lasts until end of turn. Being repeatable, and synergizing with library manipulation, means that it’s not out of the question to just randomly whack someone for 20+ damage with this thing. Feeling lucky?
Mulldrifter – It’s a fish! Like, an actual fish! It’s a good enough creature without the janky theme, so it’s pretty much an auto-include.
Geralf hoisted the line up with his free hand and brought the creature on the end of the hook to eye level. It was a fish, all right. But if it had wings, why did it bother swimming…?
Profaner of the Dead – Another mass bounce spell that only affects your opponents; all you have to do is sacrifice something with a big butt. And unless the fish aren’t biting, you’ll have a big butt to exploit.
Quicksilver Gargantuan – Clones are sweet, and this one has a vague sea theme to go along with it. It’s an honorary fish, you see… uh, anyway. The issue with clones is that they’re all 0/0’s, which sucks if you’re out fishing. 7/7 is a good stitch if you mill it, and who wouldn’t want a beefy 7/7 version of their opponent’s Wurmcoil Engine?
Geralf frowned as he pulled the silvery humanoid to the bank. “You… you’re not a fish!” he exclaimed.
“No, but I can be if you want,” replied the gargantuan, before promptly assuming the form of a giant perch.
Thassa, God of the Sea – Perfect for this deck. Big body for stitching, cheap to cast if you draw it, can make your Zombies unblockable, and even if you just let her sit in play, she’ll smooth out your draws. A+ card.
Geralf struggled to reel in his latest catch. Whatever this thing was, it was powerful! And then, suddenly, the resistance on the line ceased, causing the good stitcher to fall over backwards in his chair. A giant mermaid-looking creature popped her head out of the pond. Dangling from one of her sodden strands of hair was Geralf’s fishing line. “Do you mind?!” she snapped, her booming voice scattering the surrounding wildlife.
Geralf could only muster a muted “sorry” as he cut the line.
Kefnet the Mindful – Cheap blue dude with a big body that's hard to remove. Also he draws cards! Works along the same line as Thassa - good for stitching, and cheap enough to just run out there and milk value from.
Wharf Infiltrator – Cheap dude that can get a little value out of those uncastable monsters in your hand if you get stuck with them. He’s no Looter il-Kor, but he’s more flavorful than anything. Yay, flavor!
Wonder – Milling this with Geralf feels great. Suddenly, your skaabs have wings, and can bring the hurt with near-impunity. Whatever you do, don’t stitch it.
Obviously you wouldn’t fish in a pond if you wanted to catch river trout. We’re picking out our favorite fishing spots, whether they be our library, or our opponents’!
Soothsaying – Here’s the stand-in for Sensei’s Divining Top; a first-turn play that can peer deep down beyond your next draw (with enough mana, of course) and know when to activate Geralf. Oh, and there’s a shuffle thing too, whatever.
Ponder/Portent – Single-mana plays that are no muss or fuss; look at the top three, bury the fat, and cantrip. Portent can even target opponents, if that ever comes up.
Serum Visions – Yet another one-mana fish detector. Sometimes you get unlucky and draw the big one, but thems the breaks. This gets the nod over Preordain because it’s a little easier to set up Geralf when you have two turns of preparation, rather than just one (assuming you top both of your scry cards).
Brainstorm – Why no shuffle effects? Because you’re using this card to put cards back in a very specific place – the top of your library. If you’re using this in desperation to find lands, you’re gonna have a bad time.
Telling Time – Cheap filtering option that replaces itself and (hopefully) leaves a big, meaty fish-thing on top of your library. Hint: You can use Geralf on your upkeep.
Jace, the Mind Sculptor – It would stand to reason that planeswalkers, having the ability to traverse the Blind Eternities and explore countless worlds, would know of the best places to find fish on said worlds. Translation: his +2 is actually pretty nice for helping you find goodies on top of other peoples’ libraries. And the repeatable Brainstorm is right up our alley. Jace 2.0 is our equivalent of one of those fancy sonar fish-finder machines that rednecks are always buying.
Future Sight – Is it a kraken? Leave it there and Geralf will fish you up a masterpiece. Is it a land? Yay, free cards! Is it a Cyclonic Rift, and you tapped too low to overload it? OH GOD THE GREEN PLAYER IS ATTACKING YOU WATCH OUT.
Every angler worth a damn knows that if you find a great fishing spot, you don’t tell a soul. Other people are going to be envious of your sensational catches, and will try to stop you. Protect your pond!
Ætherspouts – This card was met with a resounding “meh” when people read the part where the creatures’ owner gets to choose where to put them. Obviously being put on the bottom is the preferred end result, and with Geralf threatening to fish their fatties right off the top post-combat, you can be sure that the nasty things you’d prefer not to see again are going to be tucked for safety’s sake.
Counterspell – Also boring. Also necessary. Far less likely to draw the ire of the table when you cast it.
Imprisoned in the Moon – Got a planeswalker ruining your fun? Maybe a creature that’s mucking with your graveyard, or keeping your zombies at bay? Throw ‘em into the moon!
”MOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!”
-Piccolo, Dragonball Z Abridged
Rewind – A helpful counterspell that allows you to have an answer and still keep mana up for Geralf.
Disrupting Shoal – A bit of an odd choice (and would ideally be replaced by Force of Will), but this gives you something to do with those beefy leviathans. Most of the really nasty spells cost 6+ mana in this format, anyway. If you counter a 9-drop with this card, I want to hear about it.
Dissipate – Cancel with a bonus. This is the most flexible slot if you want to try out another counter – if money isn’t a problem, you’ll want Mana Drain in this spot.
Into the Roil – Cheap interaction that can replace itself later. There are lots of expensive things in this deck; cards like this are an unfortunate necessity to keep you involved in the game until you can lay down those lunkers.
Memory Lapse – This card is normally found in combo decks, where the inevitable recasting of the spell isn’t a problem (because you’re in the midst of comboing off). Here, it serves as a great way to “steal” a beefy guy from your opponent; just Lapse it to the top, then activate Geralf! Bam! Stitcher-iffic!
Spin into Myth – Similar to Lapse; put the scary thing on top, move it around in there as you see fit. Then add a Geralf activation. Boom! Skaab-tacular!
Whirlpool Whelm – A pedestrian bounce spell that can occasionally be a game-breaking play. You’ve got plenty of high-CMC spells in your deck and a good dose of topdeck manipulation; winning the clash should happen more often than not. And if you do win the clash, I’m sure that Craterhoof Behemoth will look GREAT with a set of flipper arms…
Tamiyo, the Moon Sage – So apparently, Tamiyo has this little book club in Oboro where her planeswalker friends visit and tell stories to her husband and kids or whatever. Therefore, she’s in this deck to record some outstanding fish tales, and maybe tap down some troublesome permanents and draw cards along the way.
”…And just when I thought the line would assuredly snap, he reels in a fish ten times the size of the largest River Kaijin! No joke!”
“Yeah right, Mom.”
Among the artifacts are some shiny mana stones and assorted trinkets to tack onto your lure.
Commander’s Sphere, Sky Diamond, Sapphire Medallion – Lightly sprinkled with colored mana rocks for your enjoyment. Medallion gets lumped in because you’re usually only casting one spell a turn anyway.
Key to the City – Doesn’t really fit in thematically, but it can dump choice bits into your graveyard while making your biggest Zombie unblockable for a turn. It even draws cards!
Swiftfoot Boots – Probably should be Lightning Greaves, but I couldn’t find one. Protection for Geralf. <Editor’s note: Make a joke about hip-waders>
Rounding out the nonland cards are some sweet value cards, a couple draw spells, and one or two flavor home-runs.
Blue Sun’s Zenith – Draw a heap of cards. Then maybe do it again later.
Cackling Counterpart – Sure, I’ll make another Stormtide Leviathan at instant speed to replace the one you’re killing. Flashback means this card is still live if you mill it while fishing.
Fact or Fiction – Instant-speed draw is nice because it lets you keep mana up for any number of things. And you should always insist that someone take pity and 5-0 the piles, because you’re playing a crappy mono-blue creature deck with a FISHING subtheme, for crying out loud.
Deep Analysis – Card draw? Check. Flashback for value? Check. Flavorful? Check. Check check check. (Czech)
Foresee – Casting this card feels so good. You see a bunch of cards, take what you like, push what you don’t, and set up the good Stitcher - all in one adequately-priced sorcery.
And then there's lands. No fancy flavor tie-in or exposition here, just going to highlight a few of the lands that stand out:
Rogue's Passage - This will generally just make a big thing unblockable. You have big things. Make it happen.
Soldevi Excavations - Sure, it's not mana-efficient to scry, and you're begging to eat a Strip Mine and lose a bunch of tempo, but you mustn't be afraid. The denizens of the deep prey on your fear.
Homeward Path - How is Geralf supposed to get home if he doesn't know which path to take?! Also, this keeps people from being lame and casting Insurrection to clobber you with your own stuff.
If anyone has any ideas for some cool thematic cards to add or try out (to be clear, this is not intended to be competitive or cutthroat), let me know! I have been having tons of fun playing this deck so far, and hopefully I've given you the urge to pick up a commander that's a little bit off the beaten path. Or go fishing. One of the two.
4/16/15: Original list posted. It was bad and no one replied to it.
10/31/16: Primer overhaul! List update! Exclamation points! Hurray!
My Deck: (Sorry, I haven't figured out how to format that deck tag yet)
Caged Sun
Crucible of Worlds
Mana Crypt
Mind Stone
Illusionist's Bracers
Quicksilver Amulet
Rings of Brighthearth
Sapphire Medallion
Sensei's Divining Top
Sol Ring
Swiftfoot Boots
Thran Dynamo
Artisan of Kozilek
Body Double
Breaching Leviathan
Colossus of Akros
Desolation Twin
Fate Stitcher
Forgotten Creation
Geralf's Masterpiece
Skaab Ruinator
Grozoth
Guile
Havengul Runebinder
Inkwell Leviathan
It That Betrays
Kederekt Leviathan
Kozilek, Butcher of Truth
Kozilek, The Great Distortion
Lorthos, The Tidemaker
Phyrexian Dreadnought
Phyrexian Ingester
Quicksilver Gargantuan
Scourge of Fleets
Jalira, Master Polymorphist
Stormsurge Kraken
Stormtide Leviathan
Thassa, God of the Sea
Trinket Mage
Tromokratis
Ulamog, the Ceaseless Hunger
Void Winnower
Wonder
Back from the Brink
Quest for Ula's Temple
Rhystic Study
Soothsaying
Training Grounds
Academy Ruins
Ancient Tomb
Buried Ruin
Coral Atoll
Drownyard Temple
Flooded Strand
Halimar Depths
Homeward Path
Lonely Sandbar
Minamo, School at Water's Edge
Misty Rainforest
Myriad Landscape
Polluted Delta
Reliquary Tower
Remote isle
Rogue's Passage
Scalding Tarn
Soldevi Excavations
Temple of the False God
Tolaria West
Thespian Stage
Dark Depths
Bazaar of Baghdad
Island X13
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
This aint your girlfriends meta! This is a man's meta! TURBO META.
(Sorry, I haven't figured out how to format that deck tag yet)
Polymorph would indeed be a neat card to try out; I should have one in my collection somewhere. I'm a little less high on Jalira, if only because there are some ugly misses in the deck (Azure Mage, Wharf Infiltrator) that I'm loathe to cut because the curve is already kind of atrocious.
Oh, also - I think I figured out your deck formatting problem.
You have to list your cards within the deck tags like so:
1 Card
1 Another Card
1 Yet Another Card
13 Island
Basically, you always have to preface the card name with a quantity.
Put them in the [deck][/deck] tags and you'll get this:
Yeah, In order to play Geralf, you need BIG cards to get value out of him. That is why I use some big mana rocks. But that is also why I use Geralf's Masterpiece. So I can reliably pitch biggies that get stuck in my hand. and Skaab Ruinator helps recycle small creatures that end up in your yard.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
This aint your girlfriends meta! This is a man's meta! TURBO META.
My biggest issue with Geralf's Masterpiece is that, while he's a great stitch, he doesn't hold up well in a deck that's trying to draw cards along the way. Body Double is more of a Plan B for me; my primary goal is to stitch things.
If/when I get my hands on a Training Grounds, I'll give Masterpiece a harder look and maybe cut some of the less impressive fish.
Your deck looks heavily tuned; how have things like Havengul Runebinder and Illusionist's Bracers been treating you? Also, do you ever find yourself struggling to hit land drops? You're only running 34 mana-producing lands.
Mana isn't a huge issue since I run lots of fetches and Crucible of Worlds to recur my fetches or lands I chuck in the yard.
I like Geralf's Master Piece because I will often get stuck with a useless Eldrazi in my hand that I can't cast yet. I prefer my stuff to be in my deck or in my yard. And my main goal is to trigger Geralf as much as possible, so them being in my hand is kinda useless.
Illusionist Bracers have been a god Send lol. His ability can get taxing quick, and getting 2 triggers for the price of 1 is nice. I think Imma cut a few things to slot ina teferi and Tezzy though.
Oh and I need to add thousand year elixir (I ran out of them when making the deck lol). If I wanted I could also add crystal Chimes, and The Chain Veil with Teferi to get me an infinite mana combo and infinite PW triggers.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
This aint your girlfriends meta! This is a man's meta! TURBO META.
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Section the First: Setting the Scene
Before we bother getting into the deck's rhyme or reason, let's catch up on the lore of the good Stitcher:
The skaab that lay on the table was an impressive amalgamation of pieces, freshly (or, at least what passed for fresh in the field of stitching) dredged from the lake not too far away. Of course, it was becoming increasingly difficult to procure human remains in light of the recent developments on Innistrad; his homunculi had fetched all manner of otherworldly bits. Geralf was loathe to stitch the limbs of eldritch horrors - the sinew and muscle of tentacles did not play well with humanoid physiology - but he had been feeling particularly inspired that day. The pile of flesh on the table sported two heads - one of a human, and one of a wolfir. The torso sprouted a multitude of limbs, skin grafts, and rusted armor, all sewn into each other in what would be considered a horrifying mess to anyone other than an accomplished skaaberen.
Ludevic's suggestions worked to perfection! I cannot wait for the next lightning storm, thought Geralf. He pulled off his gloves and lifted his eye loupe. "But until then..." he said aloud, as he glanced across his laboratory at the large tackle box perched on a stool near the door. "I suppose I have earned a day of recreation."
Geralf walked calmly out of his home, passing by a pair of his homunculi as he headed for the forest. One hand held the tackle box, the other, a magnificent fishing pole left for him by his late father. "Oglor! Igretch!" Geralf called to his servants. The diminutive assistants peered up inquisitively with their comically large, singlar eyes. "I leave to relax, and find inspiration in the watery deep!"
The two homunculi looked at each other, then back up at Geralf.
Geralf facepalmed mentally. "I go now," he said, "Master go to fetch-"
"Oglor fetch more corpses!" Oglor interrupted.
"No! Oglor, you stay." Geralf gritted his teeth in frustration. "Igretch, you stay too. Master will be back in a day."
"Igretch stay!" The shorter of the two homunculi snapped off a goofy-looking salute.
"Oglor stay!" Oglor did the same.
"Good," Geralf said finally. He hastened his pace for the woods. There was a very particular fishing hole he was heading for, one that, thanks to its location in the middle of the Moorland (read: nowhere), was nearly untouched by meddlesome humans. Not even his obnoxious sister knew of it. Geralf's mood picked up as he imagined himself at his destination, and he hummed a tune to himself as he walked.
A short while later, Geralf arrived at his beloved fishing spot. But something was different this time. Geralf kept a curious eye on the water as he set down his tackle box and fishing chair. The water seemed to swirl with magical energy, almost as though it were a portal to a faraway land. Intrigued, Geralf moved to the edge of the water and tentatively dipped a finger into it. It felt like ordinary pond water at first, but soon a tingling sensation gripped at the skaaberen's hand. He retracted his finger and stared at it, perplexed. It didn't hurt, but it was certainly out of the ordinary. Geralf shrugged and stepped back, settling into his chair. He popped open his tackle box and plucked an Eldrazi tentacle, about the size of a human index finger, from one of the bait trays and stuck it on his hook.
I know not what has happened to my beloved fishing hole..., Geralf thought. He reached back with his fishing rod and cast his line into the aetherized water. ...But if it is the work of a sea creature, then its limbs shall soon adorn the body of Geralf Cecani's finest new creation!
Section the Second: A Word From Our Sponsor
Howdy! I’m WyvernSlayer - or Wyvern, if you’re in a hurry. I've been a part of the MTG Salvation community for about five years now, and have been playing Magic since 2000. You might remember me from such tepid discussions as the Living End thread, and spouting copious amounts of nonsense in Weebo's Jaya Ballard thread and ISBPathfinder's Lin Sivvi thread here in the Commander subforum. I have an unhealthy love for Trading Post and building terrible Commander decks on a dare.
You would think that, after this long in the game, I'd be a little better at it. <Editor's note: provide link to laugh track>
Anyways, I was drawn to Stitcher Geralf because I thought he was a cool character from Innistrad (there were many, to be fair). When he finally got spoiled, I suppressed my disappointment at how clunky he was and decided to build a deck around him anyway! Most of the lists I saw for Geralf involved making use of his ability predominantly as a mill engine, but let's be real here - if you are using mill as your win condition, there are so many better ways to do it. Getting chunky Zombies to block with is not an excuse. Go build Phenax, God of Deception and maybe stuff Geralf in there as one of the 99 or something.
So... yeah! Thanks for bothering to read my blurb. On to the decklist!
Ever seen someone waste premium removal on a do-nothing enchantment? Neither have I, because this card DOES SOMETHING.
1 Azure Mage
1 Body Double
1 Breaching Leviathan
1 Colossal Whale
1 Deep-Sea Kraken
1 Drowner of Hope
1 Elder Deep-Fiend
1 Inkwell Leviathan
1 Lorthos, the Tidemaker
1 Mindshrieker
1 Mulldrifter
1 Profaner of the Dead
1 Quicksilver Gargantuan
1 Scourge of Fleets
1 Shipbreaker Kraken
1 Shoreline Ranger
1 Stormsurge Kraken
1 Stormtide Leviathan
1 Thassa, God of the Sea
1 Tromokratis
1 Wharf Infiltrator
1 Wonder
Enchantment (4)
1 Future Sight
1 Imprisoned in the Moon
1 Quest for Ula's Temple
1 Soothsaying
1 Jace, the Mind Sculptor
1 Tamiyo, the Moon Sage
Instant (15)
1 Ætherspouts
1 Blue Sun's Zenith
1 Brainstorm
1 Cackling Counterpart
1 Counterspell
1 Cyclonic Rift
1 Disrupting Shoal
1 Dissipate
1 Fact or Fiction
1 Into the Roil
1 Memory Lapse
1 Rewind
1 Spin into Myth
1 Telling Time
1 Whirlpool Whelm
Artifact (12)
1 Commander's Sphere
1 Everflowing Chalice
1 Key to the City
1 Mind Stone
1 Nevinyrral's Disk
1 Sapphire Medallion
1 Sky Diamond
1 Sol Ring
1 Swiftfoot Boots
1 Thran Dynamo
1 Unstable Obelisk
1 Worn Powerstone
1 Compulsive Research
1 Deep Analysis
1 Foresee
1 Ponder
1 Portent
1 Serum Visions
Lands (38)
1 Ghost Quarter
1 Halimar Depths
1 Homeward Path
26 Island
1 Lonely Sandbar
1 Myriad Landscape
1 Reliquary Tower
1 Remote Isle
1 Rogue's Passage
1 Soldevi Excavations
1 Strip Mine
1 Tectonic Edge
1 Temple of the False God
Section the Fourth: Geralf’s Research Notes
A.K.A., the card-by-card breakdown. Why don’t we start with the exciting part of the deck first?
Breaching Leviathan – Straight away, we’re going to the biggest base power in the deck. 7UU is a ghastly number, but this card’s primary purpose is to be stitched. And hey – if you topdeck into it late game, it’s a great way to clear a path for your crew and close things out!
Colossal Whale – Uncuttable, simply for flavor’s sake. I mean, come on – it’s a WHALE. Also, that whole “eat a dude every turn” thing isn’t bad. Just watch out for 187 effects when your opponents inevitably kill it.
Deep-Sea Kraken – The biggest issue when you’re a big-game fisherman is drawing a bunch of uncastable fat. DSK is at least kind enough to let you suspend him for a paltry 3 mana. And no, you will not have to wait nine turns to get it.
River of Serpent – An innocuous 5/5 ground-pounder, sure. Probably not good enough for EDH. But it cycles for a single mana, stitches well, and in what can only be the cutest interaction in the deck... you can drop it into play for free with Quest for Ula's Temple.
Elder Deep-Fiend – Flavor home run. Tapping things is pretty underwhelming in Commander, but sneaking this guy out early just to stick it to the dude who has the mana advantage and let everyone pile on him is quite satisfying.
Inkwell Leviathan – Tough to deal with and good for stitching, Inky is a solid fish.
Lorthos, the Tidemaker – Do not be fooled; the ability on Lorthos is ridiculously powerful, and well worth the 8 mana if you can manage it. When you lock someone out of the game with it the first time, they will make sure you don’t do it again. Also, 8 power is a great stitch.
Scourge of Fleets – One of a select few fatties that really wants to be cast. There’s no real attempt at graveyard recursion in this deck, so obviously if you mill it, stitch ‘er right up, but a one-sided Evacuation is the perfect setup for an army of blue Zombies to close out the game.
Shipbreaker Kraken – A little weaker than Lorthos’ effect, but a bit easier on the mana, since you can pay over two turns and the tapped stuff stays that way as long as Shipbreaker is alive.
Stormsurge Kraken – One of the more affordable fish. 5/5 hexproof for 5 isn’t awful by itself, and if you happen to have Geralf in play, it’s a great way to get some damage in. Because honestly, who’s gonna block him?
Stormtide Leviathan – 8/8 means Stormy is a fantastic stitch. The pseudo-Moat he presents when cast is powerful (and you have plenty of ways to get around it, yourself). You’re never sad to see this one.
Tromokratis – He’s one of the more unimpressive fish, in my experience – another candidate for replacement. He’s got hexproof except when you actually need it, and his “can’t be blocked unless…” clause should have ended after the first three words. Still, 8/8 for 5UU is actually a good rate for a kraken/leviathan, and the body makes for a great half of a Zombie.
“This next one’s gonna be the lunker, I can feel it…”
Azure Mage – Not a fish. But it’s a cheap play with a good ability, even if it is a little overcosted. You can tell I made this deck with the intent to pick up a Training Grounds at some point.
Body Double – Did you mill it with Geralf? Feels bad, man. But it’s a good way to get value out of all those sweet creatures you milled, but didn’t stitch. Five-mana Breaching Leviathan is pretty good, I hear.
Mindshrieker – It’s a cheap creature that does a wacky impression of Geralf’s stitching ability, even if it only lasts until end of turn. Being repeatable, and synergizing with library manipulation, means that it’s not out of the question to just randomly whack someone for 20+ damage with this thing. Feeling lucky?
Mulldrifter – It’s a fish! Like, an actual fish! It’s a good enough creature without the janky theme, so it’s pretty much an auto-include.
Profaner of the Dead – Another mass bounce spell that only affects your opponents; all you have to do is sacrifice something with a big butt. And unless the fish aren’t biting, you’ll have a big butt to exploit.
Quicksilver Gargantuan – Clones are sweet, and this one has a vague sea theme to go along with it. It’s an honorary fish, you see… uh, anyway. The issue with clones is that they’re all 0/0’s, which sucks if you’re out fishing. 7/7 is a good stitch if you mill it, and who wouldn’t want a beefy 7/7 version of their opponent’s Wurmcoil Engine?
Thassa, God of the Sea – Perfect for this deck. Big body for stitching, cheap to cast if you draw it, can make your Zombies unblockable, and even if you just let her sit in play, she’ll smooth out your draws. A+ card.
Kefnet the Mindful – Cheap blue dude with a big body that's hard to remove. Also he draws cards! Works along the same line as Thassa - good for stitching, and cheap enough to just run out there and milk value from.
Wharf Infiltrator – Cheap dude that can get a little value out of those uncastable monsters in your hand if you get stuck with them. He’s no Looter il-Kor, but he’s more flavorful than anything. Yay, flavor!
Wonder – Milling this with Geralf feels great. Suddenly, your skaabs have wings, and can bring the hurt with near-impunity. Whatever you do, don’t stitch it.
Obviously you wouldn’t fish in a pond if you wanted to catch river trout. We’re picking out our favorite fishing spots, whether they be our library, or our opponents’!
Soothsaying – Here’s the stand-in for Sensei’s Divining Top; a first-turn play that can peer deep down beyond your next draw (with enough mana, of course) and know when to activate Geralf. Oh, and there’s a shuffle thing too, whatever.
Ponder/Portent – Single-mana plays that are no muss or fuss; look at the top three, bury the fat, and cantrip. Portent can even target opponents, if that ever comes up.
Serum Visions – Yet another one-mana fish detector. Sometimes you get unlucky and draw the big one, but thems the breaks. This gets the nod over Preordain because it’s a little easier to set up Geralf when you have two turns of preparation, rather than just one (assuming you top both of your scry cards).
Brainstorm – Why no shuffle effects? Because you’re using this card to put cards back in a very specific place – the top of your library. If you’re using this in desperation to find lands, you’re gonna have a bad time.
Telling Time – Cheap filtering option that replaces itself and (hopefully) leaves a big, meaty fish-thing on top of your library. Hint: You can use Geralf on your upkeep.
Jace, the Mind Sculptor – It would stand to reason that planeswalkers, having the ability to traverse the Blind Eternities and explore countless worlds, would know of the best places to find fish on said worlds. Translation: his +2 is actually pretty nice for helping you find goodies on top of other peoples’ libraries. And the repeatable Brainstorm is right up our alley. Jace 2.0 is our equivalent of one of those fancy sonar fish-finder machines that rednecks are always buying.
Future Sight – Is it a kraken? Leave it there and Geralf will fish you up a masterpiece. Is it a land? Yay, free cards! Is it a Cyclonic Rift, and you tapped too low to overload it? OH GOD THE GREEN PLAYER IS ATTACKING YOU WATCH OUT.
Every angler worth a damn knows that if you find a great fishing spot, you don’t tell a soul. Other people are going to be envious of your sensational catches, and will try to stop you. Protect your pond!
Ætherspouts – This card was met with a resounding “meh” when people read the part where the creatures’ owner gets to choose where to put them. Obviously being put on the bottom is the preferred end result, and with Geralf threatening to fish their fatties right off the top post-combat, you can be sure that the nasty things you’d prefer not to see again are going to be tucked for safety’s sake.
Cyclonic Rift – Boring and necessary. Next!
Counterspell – Also boring. Also necessary. Far less likely to draw the ire of the table when you cast it.
Imprisoned in the Moon – Got a planeswalker ruining your fun? Maybe a creature that’s mucking with your graveyard, or keeping your zombies at bay? Throw ‘em into the moon!
Rewind – A helpful counterspell that allows you to have an answer and still keep mana up for Geralf.
Disrupting Shoal – A bit of an odd choice (and would ideally be replaced by Force of Will), but this gives you something to do with those beefy leviathans. Most of the really nasty spells cost 6+ mana in this format, anyway. If you counter a 9-drop with this card, I want to hear about it.
Dissipate – Cancel with a bonus. This is the most flexible slot if you want to try out another counter – if money isn’t a problem, you’ll want Mana Drain in this spot.
Into the Roil – Cheap interaction that can replace itself later. There are lots of expensive things in this deck; cards like this are an unfortunate necessity to keep you involved in the game until you can lay down those lunkers.
Memory Lapse – This card is normally found in combo decks, where the inevitable recasting of the spell isn’t a problem (because you’re in the midst of comboing off). Here, it serves as a great way to “steal” a beefy guy from your opponent; just Lapse it to the top, then activate Geralf! Bam! Stitcher-iffic!
Spin into Myth – Similar to Lapse; put the scary thing on top, move it around in there as you see fit. Then add a Geralf activation. Boom! Skaab-tacular!
Whirlpool Whelm – A pedestrian bounce spell that can occasionally be a game-breaking play. You’ve got plenty of high-CMC spells in your deck and a good dose of topdeck manipulation; winning the clash should happen more often than not. And if you do win the clash, I’m sure that Craterhoof Behemoth will look GREAT with a set of flipper arms…
Nevinyrral’s Disk – Put your colorless reset button of choice here – Oblivion Stone, Perilous Vault, whatever. I still have the Disk because it came with the precon.
Tamiyo, the Moon Sage – So apparently, Tamiyo has this little book club in Oboro where her planeswalker friends visit and tell stories to her husband and kids or whatever. Therefore, she’s in this deck to record some outstanding fish tales, and maybe tap down some troublesome permanents and draw cards along the way.
Among the artifacts are some shiny mana stones and assorted trinkets to tack onto your lure.
Everflowing Chalice, Mind Stone, Sol Ring, Thran Dynamo, Worn Powerstone, Unstable Obelisk – A smattering of colorless mana rocks to get you up to kraken mana post-haste. Special mention to Unstable Obelisk and Mind Stone for doing something else.
Commander’s Sphere, Sky Diamond, Sapphire Medallion – Lightly sprinkled with colored mana rocks for your enjoyment. Medallion gets lumped in because you’re usually only casting one spell a turn anyway.
Key to the City – Doesn’t really fit in thematically, but it can dump choice bits into your graveyard while making your biggest Zombie unblockable for a turn. It even draws cards!
Swiftfoot Boots – Probably should be Lightning Greaves, but I couldn’t find one. Protection for Geralf. <Editor’s note: Make a joke about hip-waders>
Rounding out the nonland cards are some sweet value cards, a couple draw spells, and one or two flavor home-runs.
Blue Sun’s Zenith – Draw a heap of cards. Then maybe do it again later.
Compulsive Research – Good, efficient card draw.
Cackling Counterpart – Sure, I’ll make another Stormtide Leviathan at instant speed to replace the one you’re killing. Flashback means this card is still live if you mill it while fishing.
Fact or Fiction – Instant-speed draw is nice because it lets you keep mana up for any number of things. And you should always insist that someone take pity and 5-0 the piles, because you’re playing a crappy mono-blue creature deck with a FISHING subtheme, for crying out loud.
Deep Analysis – Card draw? Check. Flashback for value? Check. Flavorful? Check. Check check check. (Czech)
Foresee – Casting this card feels so good. You see a bunch of cards, take what you like, push what you don’t, and set up the good Stitcher - all in one adequately-priced sorcery.
Quest for Ula’s Temple – I hope your body is ready.
And then there's lands. No fancy flavor tie-in or exposition here, just going to highlight a few of the lands that stand out:
Rogue's Passage - This will generally just make a big thing unblockable. You have big things. Make it happen.
Soldevi Excavations - Sure, it's not mana-efficient to scry, and you're begging to eat a Strip Mine and lose a bunch of tempo, but you mustn't be afraid. The denizens of the deep prey on your fear.
Homeward Path - How is Geralf supposed to get home if he doesn't know which path to take?! Also, this keeps people from being lame and casting Insurrection to clobber you with your own stuff.
If anyone has any ideas for some cool thematic cards to add or try out (to be clear, this is not intended to be competitive or cutthroat), let me know! I have been having tons of fun playing this deck so far, and hopefully I've given you the urge to pick up a commander that's a little bit off the beaten path. Or go fishing. One of the two.
4/16/15: Original list posted. It was bad and no one replied to it.
10/31/16: Primer overhaul! List update! Exclamation points! Hurray!
Let's make Stitcher Geralf great!
Jalira, Master Polymorphist Lets you do some cray things too.
My Deck: (Sorry, I haven't figured out how to format that deck tag yet)
Caged Sun
Crucible of Worlds
Mana Crypt
Mind Stone
Illusionist's Bracers
Quicksilver Amulet
Rings of Brighthearth
Sapphire Medallion
Sensei's Divining Top
Sol Ring
Swiftfoot Boots
Thran Dynamo
Artisan of Kozilek
Body Double
Breaching Leviathan
Colossus of Akros
Desolation Twin
Fate Stitcher
Forgotten Creation
Geralf's Masterpiece
Skaab Ruinator
Grozoth
Guile
Havengul Runebinder
Inkwell Leviathan
It That Betrays
Kederekt Leviathan
Kozilek, Butcher of Truth
Kozilek, The Great Distortion
Lorthos, The Tidemaker
Phyrexian Dreadnought
Phyrexian Ingester
Quicksilver Gargantuan
Scourge of Fleets
Jalira, Master Polymorphist
Stormsurge Kraken
Stormtide Leviathan
Thassa, God of the Sea
Trinket Mage
Tromokratis
Ulamog, the Ceaseless Hunger
Void Winnower
Wonder
Back from the Brink
Quest for Ula's Temple
Rhystic Study
Soothsaying
Training Grounds
Aetherspouts
Brainstorm
Counterspell
Cryptic Command
Cyclonic Rift
Fact or Fiction
Mana Drain
Mystic Confluence
Pongify
Psychic Spiral
Rapid Hybridization
Rewind
Synthetic Destiny
Polymorph
Rite of Replication
Academy Ruins
Ancient Tomb
Buried Ruin
Coral Atoll
Drownyard Temple
Flooded Strand
Halimar Depths
Homeward Path
Lonely Sandbar
Minamo, School at Water's Edge
Misty Rainforest
Myriad Landscape
Polluted Delta
Reliquary Tower
Remote isle
Rogue's Passage
Scalding Tarn
Soldevi Excavations
Temple of the False God
Tolaria West
Thespian Stage
Dark Depths
Bazaar of Baghdad
Island X13
This aint your girlfriends meta! This is a man's meta! TURBO META.
Polymorph would indeed be a neat card to try out; I should have one in my collection somewhere. I'm a little less high on Jalira, if only because there are some ugly misses in the deck (Azure Mage, Wharf Infiltrator) that I'm loathe to cut because the curve is already kind of atrocious.
Oh, also - I think I figured out your deck formatting problem.
You have to list your cards within the deck tags like so:
1 Card
1 Another Card
1 Yet Another Card
13 Island
Basically, you always have to preface the card name with a quantity.
Put them in the [deck][/deck] tags and you'll get this:
1 Another Card
1 Yet Another Card
13 Island
Yeah, In order to play Geralf, you need BIG cards to get value out of him. That is why I use some big mana rocks. But that is also why I use Geralf's Masterpiece. So I can reliably pitch biggies that get stuck in my hand. and Skaab Ruinator helps recycle small creatures that end up in your yard.
This aint your girlfriends meta! This is a man's meta! TURBO META.
If/when I get my hands on a Training Grounds, I'll give Masterpiece a harder look and maybe cut some of the less impressive fish.
Your deck looks heavily tuned; how have things like Havengul Runebinder and Illusionist's Bracers been treating you? Also, do you ever find yourself struggling to hit land drops? You're only running 34 mana-producing lands.
I like Geralf's Master Piece because I will often get stuck with a useless Eldrazi in my hand that I can't cast yet. I prefer my stuff to be in my deck or in my yard. And my main goal is to trigger Geralf as much as possible, so them being in my hand is kinda useless.
Illusionist Bracers have been a god Send lol. His ability can get taxing quick, and getting 2 triggers for the price of 1 is nice. I think Imma cut a few things to slot ina teferi and Tezzy though.
Oh and I need to add thousand year elixir (I ran out of them when making the deck lol). If I wanted I could also add crystal Chimes, and The Chain Veil with Teferi to get me an infinite mana combo and infinite PW triggers.
This aint your girlfriends meta! This is a man's meta! TURBO META.