If one wanted to equip their Cosmic Larva w/ an Assault suit would the person gaining control of it have to sacrifice two lands or could they just choose to sacrifice it despite it being unsocable therefore fizzling the affect?
Card advantage is not the same thing as card draw. Something for 2B cannot be strictly worse than something for BBB or 3BB. If you're taking out Swords to Plowshares for Plummet, you're a fool. Stop doing these things!
You wouldn't. If it said "At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice two lands unless you sacrifice Cosmic Larva.", you would have to (since you can't sacrifice Cosmic Larva). But since it says "At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice Cosmic Larva unless you sacrifice two lands.", the game checks if you want to sacrifice two lands first; having failed to sacrifice two lands, you must sacrifice Cosmic Larva, but you can't, so the game just ignores your failure to sacrifice Cosmic Larva because can't > must. (See also two players having the same archetype.)
By the way, this is another reason your nonbo would fail. The way it's written places priority on one option over another.
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Card advantage is not the same thing as card draw. Something for 2B cannot be strictly worse than something for BBB or 3BB. If you're taking out Swords to Plowshares for Plummet, you're a fool. Stop doing these things!
On the bright side, it's now a 7/6 trampler getting to attack your opponents on every players turn, with no drawback, so you've found a use for it!
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Cosmic Larva
Assault Suit
Nope. The upkeep trigger has already passed.
On phasing:
By the way, this is another reason your nonbo would fail. The way it's written places priority on one option over another.
On phasing:
Onering's 4 simple steps that let you solve any problem with Magic's gameplay
Step 1: Identify the problem. What aspect of Magic don't you like? Step 2: Find out how others deal with the problem. How do players deal with this aspect of the game when they run into it? Step 3: Do what those players do. Step 4: No more problem. Bonus: You are now better at Magic. Enjoy those extra wins!