So I've been facing a scary portion of my life. A year and a half ago I had an accident that caused a pretty serious TBI. From there I briefly lost the ability to fully talk and many other issues arose from it. After a suicide attempt a few months later brought on from the issues we found that I had multiple mental illnesses and they started to medicate me for it (though we also found out that I range between the top 90th and 98th percentile IQ wise, hooray for me!). So things continued issues, I had good moments in 2016, being published as an author, getting married, etc; but I also faced many challenges: almost dying to medication, learning to live with my mental illnesses heightened to extreme levels, etc. Things were hard but I was turning them around, working things out with work, doing writing more for income, stuff like that. Well recently, my speech has been slowly leaving me again, I have full non-verbal days and I have days where I stutter so bad I might as well be non-verbal. Most days now it is actually painful for me to talk, and my wife and I have faced the inevitable possibility of me going mute. I'm taking this well for the most part, I actually don't mind not being able to talk sometimes, but other times I just am afraid or cry uncontrollably because of it. I'm mainly posting this because I wanted to rant, I guess I could say I am looking for easy ways to play EDH while mute, but that is something I will learn over time I believe.
I think it hurts the most how customers at work look at me when I stutter; like I'm unintelligent, like I'm below them. And then when I have to pull out a pad and paper to communicate because of non-verbal days, it is even harder to see them look at me. It's like they feel sorry for me, like they patronize me... And then thinking of gaming, my new D&D character is mute as a kind of release for me, it is making me feel strong. I play EDH every week at my LGS, but the idea that I might have issues communicating is hard. Seeing the stress it is putting on my wife is breaking my heart because I don't want her to have to face issues like this or shoulder any of it.
I'm sorry, I just needed to vent.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Trying to live that Character Fantasy hahaha.
To post a comment, please login or register a new account.
I think it hurts the most how customers at work look at me when I stutter; like I'm unintelligent, like I'm below them. And then when I have to pull out a pad and paper to communicate because of non-verbal days, it is even harder to see them look at me. It's like they feel sorry for me, like they patronize me... And then thinking of gaming, my new D&D character is mute as a kind of release for me, it is making me feel strong. I play EDH every week at my LGS, but the idea that I might have issues communicating is hard. Seeing the stress it is putting on my wife is breaking my heart because I don't want her to have to face issues like this or shoulder any of it.
I'm sorry, I just needed to vent.