Nicol Bolas might look young and powerful, but don't forget that he's one of the Elder Dragons. That's right. Elder. Do you have any idea how old most dragons in the multiverse are? Even older than our stoic golem here, though at least they still have enough juice in their testicles to kill when they need to. Whether an Elder Dragon's fluids are still pumping, I'd rather leave that to your imagination. Regardless, being so old, Nicol Bolas recently underwent a big image change. He realized that if he wanted any credibility, he couldn't go around looking like a shriveled old lizard. Ol' Nicky B. decided to take a hint from that other millennia old dragon - you know the one. Name's Madonna. - and reinvent himself. First thing he tried: lesbian kiss. The old bag of scales figured if he could smack his dessicated lips against some up and coming starlet, maybe he could suck the life out of her. Regrettably, not even Liliana was game enough to put her mouth on that, though we were all surprised considering the other wrinkled old demons she's sold herself to. Everybody who works for the great lumbago lizard goes just a bit crazy and embraces the dark part of the color pie. Don't take my word for it, just ask Mr. Tezz over there. How is Nicky's insurance plan anyway Tezz? Did he make you pay for that arm transplant? That must be why we haven't seen you around recently, you can't afford the AErfare to get off Alara. Maybe ask Jace for a loan, I hear he runs a stellar business out of Ravnica. How about it Jace? Think you can take some time out of your busy schedule inappropriate teenage angst and pining after black-hearted, manipulative women long enough to give your old boss a lift to Standard? I digress. Bolas is one hell of an adversary though, and by that I mean its a shock he isn't dead and gone to hell by now with his combat record. He can't even defeat an Evil Twin of himself conjured by a "much lesser planeswalker," - his words not mine - even though he absorbed Alara's entire Maelstrom. Wow. And to top it all off, this incredible genius can't even spell patheitc right!
Nicol Bolas might look young and powerful, but don't forget that he's one of the Elder Dragons. That's right. Elder. Do you have any idea how old most dragons in the multiverse are? Even older than our stoic golem here, though at least they still have enough juice in their testicles to kill when they need to. Whether an Elder Dragon's fluids are still pumping, I'd rather leave that to your imagination. Regardless, being so old, Nicol Bolas recently underwent a big image change. He realized that if he wanted any credibility, he couldn't go around looking like a shriveled old lizard. Ol' Nicky B. decided to take a hint from that other millennia old dragon - you know the one. Name's Madonna. - and reinvent himself. First thing he tried: lesbian kiss. The old bag of scales figured if he could smack his dessicated lips against some up and coming starlet, maybe he could suck the life out of her. Regrettably, not even Liliana was game enough to put her mouth on that, though we were all surprised considering the other wrinkled old demons she's sold herself to. Everybody who works for the great lumbago lizard goes just a bit crazy and embraces the dark part of the color pie. Don't take my word for it, just ask Mr. Tezz over there. How is Nicky's insurance plan anyway Tezz? Did he make you pay for that arm transplant? That must be why we haven't seen you around recently, you can't afford the AErfare to get off Alara. Maybe ask Jace for a loan, I hear he runs a stellar business out of Ravnica. How about it Jace? Think you can take some time out of your busy schedule inappropriate teenage angst and pining after black-hearted, manipulative women long enough to give your old boss a lift to Standard? I digress. Bolas is one hell of an adversary though, and by that I mean its a shock he isn't dead and gone to hell by now with his combat record. He can't even defeat an Evil Twin of himself conjured by a "much lesser planeswalker," - his words not mine - even though he absorbed Alara's entire Maelstrom. Wow. And to top it all off, this incredible genius can't even spell patheitc right!