Hopefully the flavor is there with this one, even if it's horrendously complicated.
Walking Dungeon Land {M} T: Add 1 to your mana pool. Imprison - T, Pay 4 for every creature card imprisoned by ~: Exile target creature imprisoned by ~. 4, T: Return target creature card imprisoned by ~ to the battlefield under your control.
Pay 4 for every creature card imprisoned by ~: Until end of turn, ~ becomes an Elemental creature with power and toughness each equal to four times the number of creatures imprisoned by it. It's still a land.
Next: Fluffles, Feline Familiar Fido the Ferocious
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
How to use card tags (please use them for everybody's sanity)
[c]Lightning Bolt[/c] -> Lightning Bolt
[c=Lightning Bolt]Apple Pie[/c] -> Apple Pie
Vowels-Only Format Minimum deck size: 60 Maximum number of identical cards: 4 Ban list: Cards whose English names begin with a consonant, Unglued and Unhinged cards, cards involving ante, Ancestral Recall
Chess with Death16 Sorcery {M}
Choose target opponent.
If you and the chosen player each control exactly sixteen creatures, you and that player each designate eight of the creatures you control to be "pawns", two "rooks", two "knights", two "bishops", one "queen", and one "king". When a creature designated "king" dies this way, its controller loses the game.
Draw sixteen cards. You have no maximum hand size for the rest of the game. (Do this even if you and the chosen player don't control exactly sixteen creatures.)
Next: Bullet in the Brain Economic Surplus Baseball Bat
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
How to use card tags (please use them for everybody's sanity)
[c]Lightning Bolt[/c] -> Lightning Bolt
[c=Lightning Bolt]Apple Pie[/c] -> Apple Pie
Vowels-Only Format Minimum deck size: 60 Maximum number of identical cards: 4 Ban list: Cards whose English names begin with a consonant, Unglued and Unhinged cards, cards involving ante, Ancestral Recall
Beseech the Reaper(2/U)(2/B)(2/R) Sorcery {R}
Search your library for an instant, sorcery, or creature card with converted mana cost less than or equal to the number of cards in your graveyard, reveal it, and put it into your hand. Then shuffle your library.
You lose 3 life.
Next: Dolphin Shoals Sherbet Land Donut Plains Bone-Dry Dunes
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
How to use card tags (please use them for everybody's sanity)
[c]Lightning Bolt[/c] -> Lightning Bolt
[c=Lightning Bolt]Apple Pie[/c] -> Apple Pie
Vowels-Only Format Minimum deck size: 60 Maximum number of identical cards: 4 Ban list: Cards whose English names begin with a consonant, Unglued and Unhinged cards, cards involving ante, Ancestral Recall
Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rum2UB Tribal Sorcery - Pirate {R}
~ costs 1 to cast if you control a Pirate creature and an artifact.
Draw two cards. Put two colorless artifact tokens named Gold onto the battlefield. The tokens have "Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color to your mana pool."
Next: Dolphin Shoals Twisted Mansion Sherbet Land
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
How to use card tags (please use them for everybody's sanity)
[c]Lightning Bolt[/c] -> Lightning Bolt
[c=Lightning Bolt]Apple Pie[/c] -> Apple Pie
Vowels-Only Format Minimum deck size: 60 Maximum number of identical cards: 4 Ban list: Cards whose English names begin with a consonant, Unglued and Unhinged cards, cards involving ante, Ancestral Recall
Once More! Scheme {A}
If you would lose the game, instead your life total becomes equal to your starting life total and remove all poison counters from you. This effect isn't restricted by effects that prevent you from gaining life.
Judge Me Not By My Size Scheme {A}
When you set this scheme in motion, choose target creature you control with the lowest power. For each opponent, exile up to X permanents that player controls, where X is the number of opponents minus the power of the creature chosen this way.
Storm Marauders(U/R)(U/R)(U/R) Creature - Human Spellshaper Warrior {R}
When ~ enters the battlefield, the next spell you cast this turn with converted mana cost 2 or less has storm. (When you cast that spell, copy it for each other spell cast before it this turn.)
2/2
Next: Curse of Fullness Down the Rabbit Hole Emrakul, the Last Hope
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
How to use card tags (please use them for everybody's sanity)
[c]Lightning Bolt[/c] -> Lightning Bolt
[c=Lightning Bolt]Apple Pie[/c] -> Apple Pie
Vowels-Only Format Minimum deck size: 60 Maximum number of identical cards: 4 Ban list: Cards whose English names begin with a consonant, Unglued and Unhinged cards, cards involving ante, Ancestral Recall
Ensure1 Artifact {C} T, Sacrifice ~: You gain 1 life and can't be the target of spells and abilities your opponents control until end of turn. Each bottle of the #1 doctor recommended brand Ensure is a source of complete, balanced nutrition. Every ready-to-drink shake is packed with 24 essential vitamins and minerals, including antioxidants.† Enjoy Ensure for breakfast, lunch, or as a delicious between-meal snack to help meet your daily nutritional needs.
Next: Rainbow Road Artificial Sweetener Garruk's Death Wish
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
How to use card tags (please use them for everybody's sanity)
[c]Lightning Bolt[/c] -> Lightning Bolt
[c=Lightning Bolt]Apple Pie[/c] -> Apple Pie
Vowels-Only Format Minimum deck size: 60 Maximum number of identical cards: 4 Ban list: Cards whose English names begin with a consonant, Unglued and Unhinged cards, cards involving ante, Ancestral Recall
Permanent SnowSSS Snow Enchantment {R} (S can be paid with one mana from a snow source.)
All permanents are snow in addition to their other types.
At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player puts a snow artifact token named Snow Permanent onto the battlefield.
Next: Jace, the Funny Guy Tamiyo of the Moon Flower Tezzeret's Microscope
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
How to use card tags (please use them for everybody's sanity)
[c]Lightning Bolt[/c] -> Lightning Bolt
[c=Lightning Bolt]Apple Pie[/c] -> Apple Pie
Vowels-Only Format Minimum deck size: 60 Maximum number of identical cards: 4 Ban list: Cards whose English names begin with a consonant, Unglued and Unhinged cards, cards involving ante, Ancestral Recall
Divulge(U/B) Sorcery {C}
Each opponent reveals the top card of his or her library.
Draw a card.
Next: Joker Doom Prism Flush Burst Charge
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
How to use card tags (please use them for everybody's sanity)
[c]Lightning Bolt[/c] -> Lightning Bolt
[c=Lightning Bolt]Apple Pie[/c] -> Apple Pie
Vowels-Only Format Minimum deck size: 60 Maximum number of identical cards: 4 Ban list: Cards whose English names begin with a consonant, Unglued and Unhinged cards, cards involving ante, Ancestral Recall
OmnislashWBR Instant - Limit {M}
Kicker 7(You may pay an additional 7 as you cast this spell.)
Choose target creature or player, then choose target creature or player twelve more times if ~ was kicked. For each time a creature or player was chosen this way, ~ deals 4 damage to that creature or player.
Then if you control a creature named Cloud, each player dealt damage this way discards four cards, then you gain 4 life.
The text is shorthand for:
~ deals 4 damage to target creature or player.
Then if ~ was kicked, (~ deals 4 damage to target creature or player) x 12, written all out.
Then if you control a creature named Cloud, each player dealt damage this way discards four cards, then you gain 4 life.
Next: Braver Cross Slash Finishing Touch
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
How to use card tags (please use them for everybody's sanity)
[c]Lightning Bolt[/c] -> Lightning Bolt
[c=Lightning Bolt]Apple Pie[/c] -> Apple Pie
Vowels-Only Format Minimum deck size: 60 Maximum number of identical cards: 4 Ban list: Cards whose English names begin with a consonant, Unglued and Unhinged cards, cards involving ante, Ancestral Recall
Breakage Spire Land {R} T: Add 1 to your mana pool. T, Sacrifice ~ and an untapped land you control: Destroy two target lands you don't control. For each land destroyed this way, ~ deals 1 damage to its controller.
Next: Flare Star Pink Frost Rainbow Pudding
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
How to use card tags (please use them for everybody's sanity)
[c]Lightning Bolt[/c] -> Lightning Bolt
[c=Lightning Bolt]Apple Pie[/c] -> Apple Pie
Vowels-Only Format Minimum deck size: 60 Maximum number of identical cards: 4 Ban list: Cards whose English names begin with a consonant, Unglued and Unhinged cards, cards involving ante, Ancestral Recall
Snow SliverSSS Snow Creature - Sliver {U}
Slivers you control are snow in addition to their other types. SS, T, Tap another snow permanent you control: Draw a card.
2/2
Next: Informational Infiltrator Virulent Sword Bad Breath
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
How to use card tags (please use them for everybody's sanity)
[c]Lightning Bolt[/c] -> Lightning Bolt
[c=Lightning Bolt]Apple Pie[/c] -> Apple Pie
Vowels-Only Format Minimum deck size: 60 Maximum number of identical cards: 4 Ban list: Cards whose English names begin with a consonant, Unglued and Unhinged cards, cards involving ante, Ancestral Recall
Zero Out1(G/U) Instant {R}
Target creature loses all abilities and becomes 0/0 until end of turn.
Next: Bomb King's Flotilla Star // Bucks Sugar // Spice // Everything Nice Interdimensional Elevator
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
How to use card tags (please use them for everybody's sanity)
[c]Lightning Bolt[/c] -> Lightning Bolt
[c=Lightning Bolt]Apple Pie[/c] -> Apple Pie
Vowels-Only Format Minimum deck size: 60 Maximum number of identical cards: 4 Ban list: Cards whose English names begin with a consonant, Unglued and Unhinged cards, cards involving ante, Ancestral Recall
Memory Scythe1UB Instant {U}
Target creature gets -2/-2 until end of turn. Its controller reveals cards from the top of his or her library until he or she reveals two land cards, then puts all cards revealed this way into his or her graveyard.
Next: Shadow Frost Phantom Train Serpent Trench
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
How to use card tags (please use them for everybody's sanity)
[c]Lightning Bolt[/c] -> Lightning Bolt
[c=Lightning Bolt]Apple Pie[/c] -> Apple Pie
Vowels-Only Format Minimum deck size: 60 Maximum number of identical cards: 4 Ban list: Cards whose English names begin with a consonant, Unglued and Unhinged cards, cards involving ante, Ancestral Recall
Welding Drake1RWU Creature - Drake {R}
Flying, vigilance
When ~ enters the battlefield, draw a card. RWU, T: Put an Equipment artifact token named Sword onto the battlefield. It has "Equipped creature gets +1/+0" and equip 1.
2/2
Next: Band of Thieves Boomerang Step Blueberry Scone
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
How to use card tags (please use them for everybody's sanity)
[c]Lightning Bolt[/c] -> Lightning Bolt
[c=Lightning Bolt]Apple Pie[/c] -> Apple Pie
Vowels-Only Format Minimum deck size: 60 Maximum number of identical cards: 4 Ban list: Cards whose English names begin with a consonant, Unglued and Unhinged cards, cards involving ante, Ancestral Recall
Elvish Cottage Land - Forest {R}
When ~ enters the battlefield, exile any number of Elf creatures you control until ~ leaves the battlefield. (The creatures return under their owner's control.) 1GG, T: Put ~ into its owner's graveyard. (This is not a sacrifice.)
Next: Perpetual Boredom Curse of the Burning Stove Toilet Seat
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
How to use card tags (please use them for everybody's sanity)
[c]Lightning Bolt[/c] -> Lightning Bolt
[c=Lightning Bolt]Apple Pie[/c] -> Apple Pie
Vowels-Only Format Minimum deck size: 60 Maximum number of identical cards: 4 Ban list: Cards whose English names begin with a consonant, Unglued and Unhinged cards, cards involving ante, Ancestral Recall
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Walking Dungeon
Land {M}
T: Add 1 to your mana pool.
Imprison - T, Pay 4 for every creature card imprisoned by ~: Exile target creature imprisoned by ~.
4, T: Return target creature card imprisoned by ~ to the battlefield under your control.
Pay 4 for every creature card imprisoned by ~: Until end of turn, ~ becomes an Elemental creature with power and toughness each equal to four times the number of creatures imprisoned by it. It's still a land.
Next:
Fluffles, Feline Familiar
Fido the Ferocious
[c]Lightning Bolt[/c] -> Lightning Bolt
[c=Lightning Bolt]Apple Pie[/c] -> Apple Pie
Vowels-Only Format
Minimum deck size: 60
Maximum number of identical cards: 4
Ban list: Cards whose English names begin with a consonant, Unglued and Unhinged cards, cards involving ante, Ancestral Recall
Sorcery {M}
Choose target opponent.
If you and the chosen player each control exactly sixteen creatures, you and that player each designate eight of the creatures you control to be "pawns", two "rooks", two "knights", two "bishops", one "queen", and one "king". When a creature designated "king" dies this way, its controller loses the game.
Draw sixteen cards. You have no maximum hand size for the rest of the game. (Do this even if you and the chosen player don't control exactly sixteen creatures.)
Next:
Bullet in the Brain
Economic Surplus
Baseball Bat
[c]Lightning Bolt[/c] -> Lightning Bolt
[c=Lightning Bolt]Apple Pie[/c] -> Apple Pie
Vowels-Only Format
Minimum deck size: 60
Maximum number of identical cards: 4
Ban list: Cards whose English names begin with a consonant, Unglued and Unhinged cards, cards involving ante, Ancestral Recall
Sorcery {R}
Search your library for an instant, sorcery, or creature card with converted mana cost less than or equal to the number of cards in your graveyard, reveal it, and put it into your hand. Then shuffle your library.
You lose 3 life.
Next:
Dolphin Shoals
Sherbet Land
Donut Plains
Bone-Dry Dunes
[c]Lightning Bolt[/c] -> Lightning Bolt
[c=Lightning Bolt]Apple Pie[/c] -> Apple Pie
Vowels-Only Format
Minimum deck size: 60
Maximum number of identical cards: 4
Ban list: Cards whose English names begin with a consonant, Unglued and Unhinged cards, cards involving ante, Ancestral Recall
Tribal Sorcery - Pirate {R}
~ costs 1 to cast if you control a Pirate creature and an artifact.
Draw two cards. Put two colorless artifact tokens named Gold onto the battlefield. The tokens have "Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color to your mana pool."
Next:
Dolphin Shoals
Twisted Mansion
Sherbet Land
[c]Lightning Bolt[/c] -> Lightning Bolt
[c=Lightning Bolt]Apple Pie[/c] -> Apple Pie
Vowels-Only Format
Minimum deck size: 60
Maximum number of identical cards: 4
Ban list: Cards whose English names begin with a consonant, Unglued and Unhinged cards, cards involving ante, Ancestral Recall
Scheme {A}
If you would lose the game, instead your life total becomes equal to your starting life total and remove all poison counters from you. This effect isn't restricted by effects that prevent you from gaining life.
Judge Me Not By My Size
Scheme {A}
When you set this scheme in motion, choose target creature you control with the lowest power. For each opponent, exile up to X permanents that player controls, where X is the number of opponents minus the power of the creature chosen this way.
Storm Marauders (U/R)(U/R)(U/R)
Creature - Human Spellshaper Warrior {R}
When ~ enters the battlefield, the next spell you cast this turn with converted mana cost 2 or less has storm. (When you cast that spell, copy it for each other spell cast before it this turn.)
2/2
Next:
Curse of Fullness
Down the Rabbit Hole
Emrakul, the Last Hope
[c]Lightning Bolt[/c] -> Lightning Bolt
[c=Lightning Bolt]Apple Pie[/c] -> Apple Pie
Vowels-Only Format
Minimum deck size: 60
Maximum number of identical cards: 4
Ban list: Cards whose English names begin with a consonant, Unglued and Unhinged cards, cards involving ante, Ancestral Recall
Artifact {C}
T, Sacrifice ~: You gain 1 life and can't be the target of spells and abilities your opponents control until end of turn.
Each bottle of the #1 doctor recommended brand Ensure is a source of complete, balanced nutrition. Every ready-to-drink shake is packed with 24 essential vitamins and minerals, including antioxidants.† Enjoy Ensure for breakfast, lunch, or as a delicious between-meal snack to help meet your daily nutritional needs.
Next:
Rainbow Road
Artificial Sweetener
Garruk's Death Wish
[c]Lightning Bolt[/c] -> Lightning Bolt
[c=Lightning Bolt]Apple Pie[/c] -> Apple Pie
Vowels-Only Format
Minimum deck size: 60
Maximum number of identical cards: 4
Ban list: Cards whose English names begin with a consonant, Unglued and Unhinged cards, cards involving ante, Ancestral Recall
Snow Enchantment {R}
(S can be paid with one mana from a snow source.)
All permanents are snow in addition to their other types.
At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player puts a snow artifact token named Snow Permanent onto the battlefield.
Next:
Jace, the Funny Guy
Tamiyo of the Moon Flower
Tezzeret's Microscope
[c]Lightning Bolt[/c] -> Lightning Bolt
[c=Lightning Bolt]Apple Pie[/c] -> Apple Pie
Vowels-Only Format
Minimum deck size: 60
Maximum number of identical cards: 4
Ban list: Cards whose English names begin with a consonant, Unglued and Unhinged cards, cards involving ante, Ancestral Recall
Sorcery {C}
Each opponent reveals the top card of his or her library.
Draw a card.
Next:
Joker Doom
Prism Flush
Burst Charge
[c]Lightning Bolt[/c] -> Lightning Bolt
[c=Lightning Bolt]Apple Pie[/c] -> Apple Pie
Vowels-Only Format
Minimum deck size: 60
Maximum number of identical cards: 4
Ban list: Cards whose English names begin with a consonant, Unglued and Unhinged cards, cards involving ante, Ancestral Recall
Instant - Limit {M}
Kicker 7 (You may pay an additional 7 as you cast this spell.)
Choose target creature or player, then choose target creature or player twelve more times if ~ was kicked. For each time a creature or player was chosen this way, ~ deals 4 damage to that creature or player.
Then if you control a creature named Cloud, each player dealt damage this way discards four cards, then you gain 4 life.
The text is shorthand for:
~ deals 4 damage to target creature or player.
Then if ~ was kicked, (~ deals 4 damage to target creature or player) x 12, written all out.
Then if you control a creature named Cloud, each player dealt damage this way discards four cards, then you gain 4 life.
Next:
Braver
Cross Slash
Finishing Touch
[c]Lightning Bolt[/c] -> Lightning Bolt
[c=Lightning Bolt]Apple Pie[/c] -> Apple Pie
Vowels-Only Format
Minimum deck size: 60
Maximum number of identical cards: 4
Ban list: Cards whose English names begin with a consonant, Unglued and Unhinged cards, cards involving ante, Ancestral Recall
Land {R}
T: Add 1 to your mana pool.
T, Sacrifice ~ and an untapped land you control: Destroy two target lands you don't control. For each land destroyed this way, ~ deals 1 damage to its controller.
Next:
Flare Star
Pink Frost
Rainbow Pudding
[c]Lightning Bolt[/c] -> Lightning Bolt
[c=Lightning Bolt]Apple Pie[/c] -> Apple Pie
Vowels-Only Format
Minimum deck size: 60
Maximum number of identical cards: 4
Ban list: Cards whose English names begin with a consonant, Unglued and Unhinged cards, cards involving ante, Ancestral Recall
Snow Creature - Sliver {U}
Slivers you control are snow in addition to their other types.
SS, T, Tap another snow permanent you control: Draw a card.
2/2
Next:
Informational Infiltrator
Virulent Sword
Bad Breath
[c]Lightning Bolt[/c] -> Lightning Bolt
[c=Lightning Bolt]Apple Pie[/c] -> Apple Pie
Vowels-Only Format
Minimum deck size: 60
Maximum number of identical cards: 4
Ban list: Cards whose English names begin with a consonant, Unglued and Unhinged cards, cards involving ante, Ancestral Recall
Instant {R}
Target creature loses all abilities and becomes 0/0 until end of turn.
Next:
Bomb King's Flotilla
Star // Bucks
Sugar // Spice // Everything Nice
Interdimensional Elevator
[c]Lightning Bolt[/c] -> Lightning Bolt
[c=Lightning Bolt]Apple Pie[/c] -> Apple Pie
Vowels-Only Format
Minimum deck size: 60
Maximum number of identical cards: 4
Ban list: Cards whose English names begin with a consonant, Unglued and Unhinged cards, cards involving ante, Ancestral Recall
Instant {U}
Target creature gets -2/-2 until end of turn. Its controller reveals cards from the top of his or her library until he or she reveals two land cards, then puts all cards revealed this way into his or her graveyard.
Next:
Shadow Frost
Phantom Train
Serpent Trench
[c]Lightning Bolt[/c] -> Lightning Bolt
[c=Lightning Bolt]Apple Pie[/c] -> Apple Pie
Vowels-Only Format
Minimum deck size: 60
Maximum number of identical cards: 4
Ban list: Cards whose English names begin with a consonant, Unglued and Unhinged cards, cards involving ante, Ancestral Recall
Creature - Drake {R}
Flying, vigilance
When ~ enters the battlefield, draw a card.
RWU, T: Put an Equipment artifact token named Sword onto the battlefield. It has "Equipped creature gets +1/+0" and equip 1.
2/2
Next:
Band of Thieves
Boomerang Step
Blueberry Scone
[c]Lightning Bolt[/c] -> Lightning Bolt
[c=Lightning Bolt]Apple Pie[/c] -> Apple Pie
Vowels-Only Format
Minimum deck size: 60
Maximum number of identical cards: 4
Ban list: Cards whose English names begin with a consonant, Unglued and Unhinged cards, cards involving ante, Ancestral Recall
Land - Forest {R}
When ~ enters the battlefield, exile any number of Elf creatures you control until ~ leaves the battlefield. (The creatures return under their owner's control.)
1GG, T: Put ~ into its owner's graveyard. (This is not a sacrifice.)
Next:
Perpetual Boredom
Curse of the Burning Stove
Toilet Seat
[c]Lightning Bolt[/c] -> Lightning Bolt
[c=Lightning Bolt]Apple Pie[/c] -> Apple Pie
Vowels-Only Format
Minimum deck size: 60
Maximum number of identical cards: 4
Ban list: Cards whose English names begin with a consonant, Unglued and Unhinged cards, cards involving ante, Ancestral Recall