Brutalize1B
Instant (C)
Put a -1/-1 counter on target creature. Tap that creature. The simplest route to victory is to ensure that no one else competes.
An alternate universe Theros where -1/-1 counters are a thing? Reference.
IIW: Cards with tension.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
A designer knows he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Scaredypants2
Artifact {U}
When equipped creature leaves the battlefield, if it didn't die, it deals damage equal to its power to target creature or player.
Equip 0
Whenever Zibble, Planar Prankster attacks, choose a creature defending player controls at random. It blocks Zibble. (Even if that creature can't legally block, it does anyway.)
2/2
Fixed the wording.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
A designer knows he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Equipment and Auras can't be attached to permanents.
IIW: Offend me
Punniness:
This shouldn't be an uncommon and shouldn't be black. White, red, and green get equipment and aura hating, generally. A narrow hoser like this is better fit for a rare slot.
Hard Cell3
Artifact {U}
Indestructible 3, T: Exchange control of Hard Cell and target nonland permanent unless that permanent's controller pays 5 life.
IIW: A new mechanic for Journey into Nyx.
Punniness:
I get that it's a "hard sell" but I don't get how this artifact that exchanges for other permanents represents a "cell" in any definition of the word. Mechanically it seems fine, although I'd probably make it rare rather than uncommon. I suppose that there's Avarice Totem at uncommon for comparison, but this card is considerably more complex.
All Right NowB
Instant (C)
Target creature gets -X/-X until end of turn, where X is half that creature's power, rounded down. There wasn't much left of him.
Iiw gangsters
Punniness:
It took me a few reads of this one to get the pun, but I like it. No issues with the design -- it won't kill too much outright, but it can work as a cheap combat trick.
Mana Sink3
Artifact (U) XXR,T: ~ deals X damage to target creature or player. XXU,T: Tap X target nonland permanents. Produces pristine T water.
Not so much a pun as a double entendre, but whatever.
IIW: Charms OR 2 CMC black creature commons.
Punniness:
I like that it is a mana sink in both senses of the phrase. Colorless artifacts that do nothing without colored mana are frowned upon, but it works for the sake of the joke.
Hydra-ulicsXG
Creature - Hydra (R)
Hydra-ulics enters the battlefield with X +1/+1 counters on it. 1G: Hydra-ulics gains reach until end of turn. 2G: Hydra-ulics can't be blocked by creatures with flying this turn.
0/0
IIW: Aristocrats/cannibals
Punniness:
The mechanics are a perfect fit for the name. I wish there were a way to make the two abilities mutually exclusive, but I don't really see any elegant way to do so.
Custom Official3(G/W)
Sorcery [U]
If G was spent to play Custom Official, put a 3/3 green Centaur creature token onto the battlefield. If W was spent to cast Custom Official, put a +1/+1 counter on each creature token you control. "It's customary to have a custom guard these days."
IIW: Make me cringe
Punniness:
The mechanics don't fit the name very well, in my opinion. My interpretation of "Custom Official" would be some sort of blue and/or white Primal Clay analogue with the creature type Shapeshifter Advisor.
Put a -1/-1 counter on target creature. If that creature already had a -1/-1 counter on it, put an additional two -1/-1 counters on it.
IIW: Songs I like
Punniness:
I had to do some research to figure out what the pun was, and it only works in the context of AA's card. I would word it a little differently, but it seems balanced enough.
Snow Place Like Home
Snow Land (R) t: Add to your mana pool one mana of any type that a snow land you control could produce.
IIW: lands
Punniness:
Snow Reflecting Pool seems fine. The drawback of only being able to reflect snow lands is offset by the (situational) advantage of being a snow permanent.
Mock Sapphire0
Artifact (M) T, target opponent gains control of Mock Sapphire: Add one mana of any color other than blue to your mana pool. "No, I swear it's real, I just don't want to play blue anymore and am happy to trade down."
IIW: Aristocrats/cannibals
Punniness:
Costs can't target. The flavor text is a nice touch. A strictly worse Lotus Petal at mythic might be printable.
Bad puns? Well clearly my "clever" ophanim naming scheme need not apply!
WetworksXXBB
Sorcery (R)
Wetworks costs 1 less for each Island you control.
Destory X target creatures. Water soothes a guilty conscience. Blood soothes a bored conscience.
IIW: Disney villains or Enchantment creatures that are riffs of other enchantments (bonus points for capitalizing on being a creature)
Punniness:
I get it I guess but it just doesn't tickle my funny bone. Probably printable at this cost and rarity.
FreshMeat.
Next round: Aristocrats/cannibals.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
A designer knows he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Everflame Master1RR
Creature — Human Shaman [R]
Whenever you cast an instant or sorcery spell, replace that spell's text with "This card deals 3 damage to target creature or player." "A wise man once passed on a spell to me that had nurtured his grove for centuries. It was in that moment I realized how malleable spells are and how foolish that man actually was."
3/1
IIW: Make me cringe
Doesn't work properly with spells that aren't already targeting a single creature or player.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
A designer knows he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
The Complete Stories, Vol. II4
Artifact (R)
Whenever a player casts a spell, you may reveal a card in your hand with the same name as that spell. If you do, draw a card.
A compilation of Isaac Asimov's short stories.
IIW: Bad puns are go.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
A designer knows he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Sir Aureus - This made me laugh. It's definitely fun, although this ability has drifted towards white these days.
Which ability? Changing the creature type of other creatures has always been primarily in blue, and as has "you may tap or untap" a creature. White gets tap effects on spells and creatures and untap effects on spells, but rarely gets any sort of untap effects on creatures. Blue's tappers tend to be uncommon, while white gets them at common.
Instant (C)
Put a -1/-1 counter on target creature. Tap that creature.
The simplest route to victory is to ensure that no one else competes.
IIW: Cards with tension.
A designer knows he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Pants on Fire 2
Artifact (U)
Equipped creature has haste.
R: Pants on Fire deals 1 damage to equipped creature.
Equip
A designer knows he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Enchantress's Robe 2
Artifact - Equipment (U)
Equipped creature gets +1/+1 for each enchantment you control.
Equip
IIW: Cards with tension.
A designer knows he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Fixed the wording.
A designer knows he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
A designer knows he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Punniness:
This shouldn't be an uncommon and shouldn't be black. White, red, and green get equipment and aura hating, generally. A narrow hoser like this is better fit for a rare slot.
Punniness:
I get that it's a "hard sell" but I don't get how this artifact that exchanges for other permanents represents a "cell" in any definition of the word. Mechanically it seems fine, although I'd probably make it rare rather than uncommon. I suppose that there's Avarice Totem at uncommon for comparison, but this card is considerably more complex.
Punniness:
It took me a few reads of this one to get the pun, but I like it. No issues with the design -- it won't kill too much outright, but it can work as a cheap combat trick.
Punniness:
I like that it is a mana sink in both senses of the phrase. Colorless artifacts that do nothing without colored mana are frowned upon, but it works for the sake of the joke.
Punniness:
The mechanics are a perfect fit for the name. I wish there were a way to make the two abilities mutually exclusive, but I don't really see any elegant way to do so.
Punniness:
The mechanics don't fit the name very well, in my opinion. My interpretation of "Custom Official" would be some sort of blue and/or white Primal Clay analogue with the creature type Shapeshifter Advisor.
Punniness:
I had to do some research to figure out what the pun was, and it only works in the context of AA's card. I would word it a little differently, but it seems balanced enough.
Punniness:
Snow Reflecting Pool seems fine. The drawback of only being able to reflect snow lands is offset by the (situational) advantage of being a snow permanent.
Punniness:
Costs can't target. The flavor text is a nice touch. A strictly worse Lotus Petal at mythic might be printable.
Punniness:
I get it I guess but it just doesn't tickle my funny bone. Probably printable at this cost and rarity.
Next round: Aristocrats/cannibals.
A designer knows he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Challenge errata: double entendres are more than welcome as well.
A designer knows he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Creature - Canathid Scout (U)
Whenever ~ becomes blocked, return it to its owner's hand.
4/4
IIW: Bad puns are go.
A designer knows he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Whispers of the Muse cost six mana to reuse and didn't come with an unkillable 3/3 body.
A designer knows he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
This is neither rare nor a frog.
A designer knows he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Creature - Frog Archer (R)
Deathtouch
1G: ~ deals 1 damage to target creature with flying.
1/4
IIW: Bad puns are go.
A designer knows he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Doesn't work properly with spells that aren't already targeting a single creature or player.
A designer knows he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Thud! is Pratchett's best work, in my opinion. Excellent book.
A designer knows he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Artifact (R)
Whenever a player casts a spell, you may reveal a card in your hand with the same name as that spell. If you do, draw a card.
IIW: Bad puns are go.
A designer knows he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Because it's a holy 2/1 flier for 3 batman.
Which ability? Changing the creature type of other creatures has always been primarily in blue, and as has "you may tap or untap" a creature. White gets tap effects on spells and creatures and untap effects on spells, but rarely gets any sort of untap effects on creatures. Blue's tappers tend to be uncommon, while white gets them at common.
A designer knows he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.