You! Yes you, reading this thread... I've got a question just for you, Magic player!
Surely you've heard of the age old puzzle about the "bears" of Magic: The Gathering? Well, a "bear" (in Magic lingo) is essentially a 2/2 creature, and acts as a sort of standard by which power is measured. If a creature is a 2/2, it's a bear.
Unfortunately, there have been a great many cards of "Human" creature type which have power equal to or greater than a Grizzly Bear, and are even capable of beating one in combat, at an equivalent converted mana cost, without magic! We have long theorized that this cannot flavorfully happen in reality, and that a Grizzly Bear should be able to take on the average human without dying, quite easily as well.
Or can it?
You are transported from where you are now to an endless forest. There are no people or animals anywhere in this vast and seemingly endless territory, except you and one other: a Dominarian Grizzly. Now, there's no point in running too far or calling for help in this location, and the bear is going to hunt you down no matter what, but thankfully you have some aid against this classic 2/2 creature.
You've been equipped with what you have on your person at the moment, any weapons you either carry with you on a regular basis (if you routinely carry pepper spray, a pocket knife or a brass knuckle, for example, you will have that with you for this battle), as well as any weapons you are trained to use properly (if you are trained to wield a sword or use a bow and arrow, for example, you will be equipped with that as well).
The battle will only end if:
1. One or both of the contestants (you and/or the bear) is/are killed.
OR
2. An entire combat step (roughly 12 hours) elapses with neither contestant dying.
Now we are going to find out once and for all if the average Magic player is a 2/1 with some sort of keyword and/or equipment who manages to kill the bear and live, or a 1/1 who gets eaten alive, or a 2/2 with no special abilites who simply trades with the bear during combat, or is a 1/3 who manages to survive the fight with the bear, but is ultimately unable to kill it at the end of the combat step, leading to a stalemate.
I participate yearly in a survival challenge in which I am dropped off in the wilderness with 1 days rations, a knife, and no other supplies, and have to find my way home. This is typically several weeks hiking from civilization.
I have personally killed several bears in the course of this challenge, with the use of snares and other traps.
To be honest, I'd hide in the trees until the bear left, or in this case, 12 hours. I always have swiss army knife on me, but that wouldn't be much help. I'd be a 1/2 at max since I'm a pretty big guy; but no challenge for a bear. I don't carry any real weapons with me, besides my car.
I'm a 1/1 who gets chased down, mauled and eaten, just like everyone else who doesn't have training in firearms (training in firearms, according to your rules, means they get a gun - and even so, you'd better make sure your shots count. Bears are big and they won't go down to a couple of pot-shots).
I'd like to think that I'd be a 1/3, who'd stand, trade blows and wrestle with the bear, all to an epic soundtrack, but really, I'm a goner.
I can't even climb a tree.
"Don't try to outrun one of Dominia's Grizzlies; it'll catch you, knock you down, and eat you. Of course, you could run up a tree. In that case you'll get a nice view before it knocks the tree down and eats you."
Yeah considering in the flavor text of some of the original Grizzly Bears, that even climbing up trees aren't going to you any good, this comes down to whether or not you are trained with a weapon. Because I am not, I am Bear lunch. 1/1 chump blocker.
All I know is that I am at least bringing that bear down with me as we'd both be 2/2's, but hey, I may have something that could Bloodrush me, or maybe a Giant Growth could help me live.
Definitely bear food. Dump some gravy on me and ring the dinner bell.
Do I get a cool shirt to wear at my funeral that says 'I got mauled by a grizzly bear and all I got (besides dead) was this lousy t-shirt.'? I wouldn't agree to this without the shirt.
I think it's a draw for me (I'd see myself as a 2/1), although if I have some sort of weaponry, I think I can (very) narrowly survive.
In all honesty, I don't have the physical strength to go toe-to-toe with a full grown bear, but I do have the advantage in intelligence and I think I could find a way to leverage that to a draw (i.e. we're both worm food).
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Well, we have some very interesting and varied replies here so far!
Not bad. To be honest, I was debating with myself if the thread should have been "You versus a Squirrel Token", but I figured that the Grizzly Bear was more iconic, and just as amusing.
I personally think I would die, but I'd take the bear down with me.
In this situation, I would have a few weapons on me, since I practice techniques for bladed weapons regularly. Assuming I'm allowed to have my favorites, I should have (at least) two swords and two daggers with me. It would slow me down, but that doesn't matter, as there's no point in running.
The bear would charge me, probably knock me down, and in the split second that I have to defend myself I would begin plunging my blades into its chest, neck and head. One of them is bound to get a lethal hit before my brutal death.
"Don't try to outrun one of Dominia's Grizzlies; it'll catch you, knock you down, and eat you. Of course, you could run up a tree. In that case you'll get a nice view before it knocks the tree down and eats you."
Indeed, a Goblin Piker, dumb but with a pointy stick, can apparently take on a Grizzly Bear. A Halberdier like yourself is a 3/1 with first strike, according to Magic standards.
He's not the only one who trains with a weapon. I know quite a lot of people that do. Anyone here who practices Kendo, Wushu, Fencing or Eskrima (or any of the weapon-based Filipino Martial Arts, for that matter) would probably have access to quite a few weapons for this battle. So yes, he gets his halberd.
I'm surprised that no one with firearms has spoken up yet.
I would be a 1/1 w/ shroud. And I would ask the player that has summoned me to NOT choose me to block with.
But I'm down to two life, we're both tapped out, and there are no other creatures on the field! Would it comfort you if I told you I would use Torrent of Souls on you next turn so you take my helpless opponent at three life and grant me victory? (Unless I draw Lightning Bolt, but still, I'd consider it...)
Do I get a cool shirt to wear at my funeral that says 'I got mauled by a grizzly bear and all I got (besides dead) was this lousy t-shirt.'? I wouldn't agree to this without the shirt.
At least you are easier to convince. Yes, you get your "I got mauled by a Grizzly and all I got (aside from being killed) is this lousy T-shirt!" shirt. I'll even have it signed by the whichever artist did your illustration for your 1/1 Magic card.
I participate yearly in a survival challenge in which I am dropped off in the wilderness with 1 days rations, a knife, and no other supplies, and have to find my way home. This is typically several weeks hiking from civilization.
I have personally killed several bears in the course of this challenge, with the use of snares and other traps.
I'm a 0/1. Seriously, even a squirrel could kill me in a fair fight and live to tell about it. Suffice to say a grizzly bear would murder me in no time at all.
If Chuck Norris is a X/Y where X is lower than 2 and Y is higher than 2, then I am most likely unable to defeat said grizzly bear unarmed. Eager Cadet could probably kill me pretty quickly, actually, considering that he has a sword, though I'd have no trouble defeating a Little Girl. I think that means I am a creature with 1/2 power and 1 toughness.
With chance to prepare for the fight and access to the proper tools, yes, I could defeat a Grizzly with my life on the line. Things like first strike need to be looked at here, though. To claim you have three toughness is to claim you could survive being struck by lightning once every day.
Also, there's the question of whether I'd have the heart to kill a grizzly. For something so titanic, dammit, they're still really cute. I'm more likely to call animal control than suit up for battle.
I only regularly carry my iPod, Walkman, my work phone, and personal phone. So I set one phone down in some bushes. I hide in some others and call the other phone. distraction and hopefully will last 12 hours.
I'm a 0/1. If that doesn't work I'm dead. but I'll die happy listening to music, (or as happy as anyone can be while getting mauled by a bear.
Better be some heavy slugs to down a bear, and at that point, you need to be too damn close.
Agreed. I have a 9mm handgun and a 12 gauge shotgun. I'd have to be incredibly lucky, even with slugs, to wound the bear in a manner that would remotely slow him, not to mention kill him.
Surely you've heard of the age old puzzle about the "bears" of Magic: The Gathering? Well, a "bear" (in Magic lingo) is essentially a 2/2 creature, and acts as a sort of standard by which power is measured. If a creature is a 2/2, it's a bear.
Unfortunately, there have been a great many cards of "Human" creature type which have power equal to or greater than a Grizzly Bear, and are even capable of beating one in combat, at an equivalent converted mana cost, without magic! We have long theorized that this cannot flavorfully happen in reality, and that a Grizzly Bear should be able to take on the average human without dying, quite easily as well.
Or can it?
You are transported from where you are now to an endless forest. There are no people or animals anywhere in this vast and seemingly endless territory, except you and one other: a Dominarian Grizzly. Now, there's no point in running too far or calling for help in this location, and the bear is going to hunt you down no matter what, but thankfully you have some aid against this classic 2/2 creature.
You've been equipped with what you have on your person at the moment, any weapons you either carry with you on a regular basis (if you routinely carry pepper spray, a pocket knife or a brass knuckle, for example, you will have that with you for this battle), as well as any weapons you are trained to use properly (if you are trained to wield a sword or use a bow and arrow, for example, you will be equipped with that as well).
The battle will only end if:
1. One or both of the contestants (you and/or the bear) is/are killed.
OR
2. An entire combat step (roughly 12 hours) elapses with neither contestant dying.
Now we are going to find out once and for all if the average Magic player is a 2/1 with some sort of keyword and/or equipment who manages to kill the bear and live, or a 1/1 who gets eaten alive, or a 2/2 with no special abilites who simply trades with the bear during combat, or is a 1/3 who manages to survive the fight with the bear, but is ultimately unable to kill it at the end of the combat step, leading to a stalemate.
So, what kind of creature are you?
How well do you do against one?
This card pretty much describes my battle plan. Lost in the woods
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I'd like to think that I'd be a 1/3, who'd stand, trade blows and wrestle with the bear, all to an epic soundtrack, but really, I'm a goner.
I can't even climb a tree.
"Don't try to outrun one of Dominia's Grizzlies; it'll catch you, knock you down, and eat you. Of course, you could run up a tree. In that case you'll get a nice view before it knocks the tree down and eats you."
Heck, even Thalia, Guardian of Thraben can kill a Grizzly Bear. and she has a toothpick as a weapon.
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Why do you regularly train with a halberd?
Cause it's fun...
Plus, I have an obsession with Medieval Weapons.
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Do I get a cool shirt to wear at my funeral that says 'I got mauled by a grizzly bear and all I got (besides dead) was this lousy t-shirt.'? I wouldn't agree to this without the shirt.
special thanks to sentimentgx4 for the sig
Pourquoi?
Those things are godless killing machines.
In all honesty, I don't have the physical strength to go toe-to-toe with a full grown bear, but I do have the advantage in intelligence and I think I could find a way to leverage that to a draw (i.e. we're both worm food).
Went to a new shop from a friend's recommendation, DQ'ed for willful violation of CR 100.6b.
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(Credit to DarkNightCavalier)
$tandard: Too poor.
Modern:
- GW Birthing Pod(?)
Legacy:
- UWR Delver
Not bad. To be honest, I was debating with myself if the thread should have been "You versus a Squirrel Token", but I figured that the Grizzly Bear was more iconic, and just as amusing.
I personally think I would die, but I'd take the bear down with me.
In this situation, I would have a few weapons on me, since I practice techniques for bladed weapons regularly. Assuming I'm allowed to have my favorites, I should have (at least) two swords and two daggers with me. It would slow me down, but that doesn't matter, as there's no point in running.
The bear would charge me, probably knock me down, and in the split second that I have to defend myself I would begin plunging my blades into its chest, neck and head. One of them is bound to get a lethal hit before my brutal death.
Classic flavor text.
Indeed, a Goblin Piker, dumb but with a pointy stick, can apparently take on a Grizzly Bear. A Halberdier like yourself is a 3/1 with first strike, according to Magic standards.
He's not the only one who trains with a weapon. I know quite a lot of people that do. Anyone here who practices Kendo, Wushu, Fencing or Eskrima (or any of the weapon-based Filipino Martial Arts, for that matter) would probably have access to quite a few weapons for this battle. So yes, he gets his halberd.
I'm surprised that no one with firearms has spoken up yet.
Interestingly, that's probably how two 1/1 creatures beat a Grizzly. The Grizzly eats them both, and it dies from overeating or indigestion.
But I'm down to two life, we're both tapped out, and there are no other creatures on the field! Would it comfort you if I told you I would use Torrent of Souls on you next turn so you take my helpless opponent at three life and grant me victory? (Unless I draw Lightning Bolt, but still, I'd consider it...)
At least you are easier to convince. Yes, you get your "I got mauled by a Grizzly and all I got (aside from being killed) is this lousy T-shirt!" shirt. I'll even have it signed by the whichever artist did your illustration for your 1/1 Magic card.
Grizzlies are fast, man. No wonder the majority of us are going to die brutally.
How well do you do against one?
Eager Cadet could probably kill me pretty quickly, actually, considering that he has a sword, though I'd have no trouble defeating a Little Girl. I think that means I am a creature with 1/2 power and 1 toughness.
With chance to prepare for the fight and access to the proper tools, yes, I could defeat a Grizzly with my life on the line. Things like first strike need to be looked at here, though. To claim you have three toughness is to claim you could survive being struck by lightning once every day.
Also, there's the question of whether I'd have the heart to kill a grizzly. For something so titanic, dammit, they're still really cute. I'm more likely to call animal control than suit up for battle.
I'm a 0/1. If that doesn't work I'm dead. but I'll die happy listening to music, (or as happy as anyone can be while getting mauled by a bear.
Yes, but only because the gun gives double strike.
Pristaxcontrombmodruu!
... you sure about that?
Better be some heavy slugs to down a bear, and at that point, you need to be too damn close.
Pristaxcontrombmodruu!
Agreed. I have a 9mm handgun and a 12 gauge shotgun. I'd have to be incredibly lucky, even with slugs, to wound the bear in a manner that would remotely slow him, not to mention kill him.
http://www.chuckhawks.com/firearms_defense_bears.htm
I lose to the grizzly, no contest.
UBW Sharuum
BR Olivia Voldaren
UR Jhoira
URG Riku
U Vendilion Clique
Regular slugs used for deer hunting will work just fine when blasted into the bear's head.
Yeap, I figured you for someone that's never been hunting.
Pristaxcontrombmodruu!