This thread exists purely for comedy. While unglued cards do exist, you can still get a kick out of creating your funny cards. I'll start.
3BW - Sorin, Lord of Ghetto
Type: Planeswalker / 4-Loyalty
+1 - Target player sacrifices all permanents unless they grab you a beer.
-2 - Draw a card for each opponent with HIV.
-7 - Gain ownership of all opponents cards permanently if you control a black creature.
3W - Alfred, the Pale Skinned
Type: Planeswalker / 3-Loyalty
+1 - All white creatures gain suntan lotion.
+1 - Target creature is exiled to work in an office building for the next three turns. When the creature returns to play, its controller adds six mana of any color to their mana pool.
-5 - All creatures are exposed to the sun's rays for 4 hours. Destroy all non-black, non-suntan lotioned creatures.
0 - Ten Ten Friendship Ruiner
Type: Artifact Creature P/T: 10/10
Cannot be countered. Damage from this creature cannot be prevented.
Haste, Indestructible, Hexproof, Unblockable, Doublestrike, Infect.
When removed from play, put a token that is a copy of this creature onto the battlefield under its owners control.
Flavor Text: No one ever told him that life totals were actually friendship totals.
Creature - Coat Hanger
Whenever another creature enters the battlefield, if Abortionist is untapped, that creature's controller sacrifices it unless they pay a child support cost of 1 for the next eighteen turns.