MTG Salvation

210. There is a time and a place for trading. The middle of a draft is not it.

211. When my opponent casts Hypergenesis in THG, it is rude to ask them to explain how said card works in the format and then call them out on slowplaying to a judge.

212. Under no circumstances am I to sacrifice a Little Girl to Life's Legacy.

213. Playing the card Vivisection doesn't allow me to perform one on my opponent.

214. It doesn't matter what R&D's Secret Lair says, I'm not allowed to bury my opponent's cards.

215. Pay $5 to enter an FNM tourney just to play my swamp deck.

Which consisted of just 60 swamps. Atleast I can't complain about being mana-screwed!

218. No. Motorcycles.

219. I am not allowed to yell "THIS IS SPARTAAAA!" When playing a card for its madness cost.

220. I am not allowed kick player away from table while performing the above.

221. I am not allowed to play 'card basketball' with my opponent's discarded cards and the wastebin across the room.

222. Even if I get it in 'with no net'.

223. Not allowed to say 'There's always room for Jell-o' When playing Gelatinous Genesis.

224. Or Gutter Grime.

225. Or S.N.O.T.. Ew.

226. Casting knights with Nykthos, Shrine to Nyx does not make them 'The Knights Who Say Nyx'

227. Playing Temple of the false god does not make me a Pastafarian. Also, some people may find that offensive.

228. No, we must not act out our turns like scenes in a play simply because Thespian's stage is on the battlefield.

229. Am not allowed to make eating noises when playing Thromok the insatiable or Omnath, locus of mana. This includes when saying their names.

230. I am not allowed to eat my opponent's Ghave, guru of spores, even if 'Fungus Shaman' essentially means 'Magic Mushroom'.

231. Likewise, if a creature with devour eats aforementioned creature, it is not considered 'trippin balls, yo'.

232. I will not begin to contemplate existence whenever a) a creature dies or b) I play a creature with "Philosopher" in its name.
233. Referring to #232, I have been told to add c) whenever my philosopher creatures die. Doing so will result in a three minute time-out, during which I am also not allowed to contemplate existence, reality, the mind or any other abstract concept that has no place at a casual (or otherwise) card game tourney.

234. Angel's Tomb doesn't untap every time my opponent blinks.

235. I will not say, "Original Recipe or Extra Crispy?" when casting Roast on an opponent's creature.

236. When casting a Dragon spell, I will not quote Daenerys Targaryen Stormborn.

237. Also, when casting Encase in Ice, I will not sing the Metallica song, "Trapped Under Ice."

238. In a similar vein as #7, just because I target Birchlore Rangers with Might of Oaks and Power Matrix doesn't mean I need to sing the theme song.

239. No playing my all-foil deck in direct sunlight.

240. Everyone knows my Elvish Piper / Quicksilver Amulet / creature cheater of choice is capable of "flopping it out onto the table". Yes, it's probably big. No, it isn't funny.

241. I am no longer allowed return my hydras to the battle field if the player who killed didn't use a burn spell, even thats how Heracles did it.

242. The Strictly Worse cube never happened and is never to be spoken of again.

243. The use of French Roasts does not entitle me to coffee puns.

Greetings, fellow Guilty Gear enjoyer.

-

244. Just because I think it's funny to sing Karma Chameleon by Culture Club at the top of my lungs whenever someone plays Chameleon Colossus does not necessarily make it so.

245. Zac Hill impressions are prohibited.

246. I will not repeat "stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself" in an annoying sing-song voice whenever I attack someone with a 'mind controlled' creature they own.

247. When we order food, I will not call a judge over upon discovering that the sub place next door put pickles on my sub, even though I said no pickles.

248. I will not yell "JUDGE" and raise my hand for situations unrelated to magic. (Although, I did this once at a Red Robin and from across the restaurant I heard, "keep your hand raised I'm on my way.)

249. Proper hygiene is a requirement, not a suggestion; chemical warfare is frowned upon in Magic as well as real life.

250. Singing the chorus to Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins anytime my opponent makes a block.

251. No matter how much he looks like David Tennant, Venser, the Sojourner can't regenerate.

252. Winning against a black deck is not a hate crime.

253. I am not allowed to use tears as a source for blue mana

254. Even though it's called Elder Dragon Highlander, I can't cut the head off of my opponent's commander to "gain its power."

255. I will not insist that the elder dragons are actually aliens from the planet Zeist.

256. I am not allowed to hand out filled red solo cups and declare that playing a land is an "everybody drinks" rule.