I was at a friends house and her mother comes into her room all angry and says, "You're lil dog has been producing feces all night long and the living room is filthy!"
And I was like "Oh my gosh!! Why do you have to say it like that! You make him sound like a lil movie director or something. I wanna see Feces in theaters now!" My friend thought it was hilarious but her mom was kind of a "nerd" about it.
A friend of mine was talking about how on his campus, some of the guys were getting drunk and trying to do a sort of "Duct Tape Beard Wax" where they'd of course put a bunch of duct tape over their beards, press it down really tight and then have a friend rip it off really fast.
Apparently this resulted in a lot of bloody faces. I'm sure it was in reality a real drunken mess of hair and other various bodily fluids.
But what if....what if someone did it with sheer perfect elegance?
In my vision I see this person's beard coming off entirely on the first duct tape swipe. Not a hair would be left behind and a perfectly formed beard would remain on the adhesive side of the tape.
Within moments the fresh hairless face would form what could only be called, "A Blood Beard".
A friend of mine was talking about how on his campus, some of the guys were getting drunk and trying to do a sort of "Duct Tape Beard Wax" where they'd of course put a bunch of duct tape over their beards, press it down really tight and then have a friend rip it off really fast.
Apparently this resulted in a lot of bloody faces. I'm sure it was in reality a real drunken mess of hair and other various bodily fluids.
But what if....what if someone did it with sheer perfect elegance?
In my vision I see this person's beard coming off entirely on the first duct tape swipe. Not a hair would be left behind and a perfectly formed beard would remain on the adhesive side of the tape.
Within moments the fresh hairless face would form what could only be called, "A Blood Beard".
This is actually the most disturbing post in this forum.
See, if you did it just right, there wouldn't be any blood; the follicles grow only epidermically, not subcutaneously.
Alas, they did not do it right
The drip actually created a "ZZ Top Effect"
P.S: Mind you, this was originally intended to encourage people to read my actual Blog. Like the one in my info bar thing with the 37 entries. Not that anyone will like that either. I love you all with all my heart but alas I find that I have a hard time relating to some of the peeps here. I'm sure though, that with the doors that The Speakeasy opens that that could be resolved in no time!
Can we just change this to the thread where we say stuff that might make people puke?
Er, cheesebooger sandwich.
A great man once said:
"If someone vomits watching one of my films, it's like getting a standing ovation"
Although it may seem that way, my intent certainly isn't to just put people off or "shock" them. But I understand that my idea of art/humour is a far cry from what most people's idea is. And that's fine. But please understand my only intent is to just share with the people here some of the images and thoughts that come into my head throughout the day.
If people enjoy them, that's wonderful. If they don't like them, that's fine too. But my only intent is to simply cast these words in front of the audience, what happens after that is their choice.
On a hopefully lighter note (I have a hard time gauging what people do and don't find light here) I always loved the idea of "Hamburger Cereal". I see it as having pieces of dehydrated beef amongst pieces of hamburger shaped corn cereal. The milk would sorta rehydrate the beef and there you'd have it. Hamburger Cereal.
Imagine drinking the leftover milk from that one? Greeeeeeeeeasy!
I'm sorry Jolly, I wasn't trying to poke fun, just saying that the topic was turning a bit to the graphic side. I never intended my words to sound as harsh as they ended up being.
I'm sorry Jolly, I wasn't trying to poke fun, just saying that the topic was turning a bit to the graphic side. I never intended my words to sound as harsh as they ended up being.
Isn't milk+beef the basis for stroganoff?
No reason to apologize, I wasn't offended or anything. Just figured I'd take that time to explain my intent a bit is all.
And very true about the stroganoff. America loves dairy (but runs on dunkin), I'm honestly pretty sure we could sell Hamburger Cereal here. I mean, they have the whole "Bacon Everything" now.
Ever notice how like, aside from all the celebrity crap there's always that one awkward pop culture thing we're supposed to focus on?
Like right now it's bacon, and before that it was Betty White and not to long before that it was Mullets and before that it was midgets. I'm sure I missed some trends there, but do you know what I mean?
You mean memes? I think I must have missed the midget one, although I do recall the original (remake) Sherlock Holmes movie had something to say about them.
I tried a bacon cereal, once, actually, it ended up, well, tasting like bacon and milk. 'Course, that was when I was camping, and ravenously hungry, so cardboard would have tasted pretty good at that point. I'd give it a 4.7 or so, but one does has to ask why you would dilute your bacon like that.
MOAR BACON.
You mean memes? I think I must have missed the midget one, although I do recall the original (remake) Sherlock Holmes movie had something to say about them.
I tried a bacon cereal, once, actually, it ended up, well, tasting like bacon and milk. 'Course, that was when I was camping, and ravenously hungry, so cardboard would have tasted pretty good at that point. I'd give it a 4.7 or so, but one does has to ask why you would dilute your bacon like that.
MOAR BACON.
I wouldn't really say they're "memes". I always assumed "memes" was strictly an internet thing. These sort of pop culture trends usually start IRL as far as I know.
How did you come about bacon cereal? Did you make it yourself? I heard that Jack In The Box (and I'm serious here, I'm not promising this is true but I have heard it from a few pretty reliable sources) has a Bacon Milkshake. It's not on the menu, but you could apparently ask for it and they'll make it.
The cereal was from Canada, no lie. Perhaps one of our Cananadian posters can back me up on this?
Edit- A friend of mine says the Bacon Milkshake was pretty bad.
I totally don't have any reason not to believe you about the cereal, sounds legit to me.
And ja, pretty much everything from Jack In The Box is far, far more disgusting then anything I could ever come up with. I've only ever had the misfortune of having their food recently as I lived in New Jersey for most of my existence and Jersey is too beautiful for something so ugly as JITB.
And ja, pretty much everything from Jack In The Box is far, far more disgusting then anything I could ever come up with. I've only ever had the misfortune of having their food recently as I lived in New Jersey for most of my existence and Jersey is too beautiful for something so ugly as JITB.
Yeah, we have the sublimity that is White Castle. We don't need your Jack.
Well, isn't this a shocker. I freakin' love Timezone.
Coolness, Ja it's a nice place. I know Shawn from waaaay back when we use to play at Card Board Closet (alas CBC closed around 03 or so but you could still see the sign for it painted on the side of the building right across from JR's Pub like just down the street from Timezone.
I was at the liqour store a few days ago and I hear the cashier say to the guy in front of me online "Can I see your ID sir".
Upon this request, the man hunched over and began to dash about the store on all fours. Sniffing people's crotches, pulling up women's shirts, smashing bottles. defecating in the isles and just screaming and grunting the whole time.
Store security ended up dragging the poor guy out, I don't think they got the joke. People need to lighten up.
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I hear ya. If it's not your first language I totally understand. Not trying to bust your chops or anything.
And I was like "Oh my gosh!! Why do you have to say it like that! You make him sound like a lil movie director or something. I wanna see Feces in theaters now!" My friend thought it was hilarious but her mom was kind of a "nerd" about it.
Schizophrenia, an intense self hatred and years and years of RLNSFW activity.
Apparently this resulted in a lot of bloody faces. I'm sure it was in reality a real drunken mess of hair and other various bodily fluids.
But what if....what if someone did it with sheer perfect elegance?
In my vision I see this person's beard coming off entirely on the first duct tape swipe. Not a hair would be left behind and a perfectly formed beard would remain on the adhesive side of the tape.
Within moments the fresh hairless face would form what could only be called, "A Blood Beard".
Best post itt
This is actually the most disturbing post in this forum.
I̟̥͍̠ͅn̩͉̣͍̬͚ͅ ̬̬͖t̯̹̞̺͖͓̯̤h̘͍̬e͙̯͈̖̼̮ ̭̬f̺̲̲̪i͙͉̟̩̰r̪̝͚͈̝̥͍̝̲s̼̻͇̘̳͔ͅt̲̺̳̗̜̪̙ ̳̺̥̻͚̗ͅm̜̜̟̰͈͓͎͇o̝̖̮̝͇m̯̻̞̼̫̗͓̤e̩̯̬̮̩n͎̱̪̲̹͖t͇̖s̰̮ͅ,̤̲͙̻̭̻̯̹̰ ̖t̫̙̺̯͖͚̯ͅh͙̯̦̳̗̰̟e͖̪͉̼̯ ̪͕g̞̣͔a̗̦t̬̬͓͙̫̖̭̻e̩̻̯ ̜̖̦̖̤̭͙̬t̞̹̥̪͎͉ͅo͕͚͍͇̲͇͓̺ ̭̬͙͈̣̻t͈͍͙͓̫̖͙̩h̪̬̖̙e̗͈ ̗̬̟̞̺̤͉̯ͅa̦̯͚̙̜̮f͉͙̲̣̞̼t̪̤̞̣͚e̲͉̳̥r͇̪̙͚͓l̥̞̞͎̹̯̹ͅi͓̬f̮̥̬̞͈ͅe͎ ̟̩̤̳̠̯̩̯o̮̘̲p̟͚̣̞͉͓e͍̩̣n͔̼͕͚̜e̬̱d̼̘͎̖̹͍̮̠,͖̺̭̱̮ ̣̲͖̬̪̭̥a̪͚n̟̲̝̤̤̞̗d̘̱̗͇̮͕̳͕͔ ͖̞͉͎t̹̙͎h̰̱͉̗e̪̞̱̝̹̩ͅ ̠̱̩̭̦p̯̙e͓o̳͚̰̯̺̱̰͔̘p̬͎̱̣̼̩͇l̗̟̖͚̠e̱͉͔̱̦̬̟̙ ̖͚̪͔̼̦w̺̖̤̱e͖̗̻̦͓̖̘̜r̭̥e͔̹̫̱͕̦̰͕ ̗͔̠p̠̗͍͍̱̳̠r̰͔͎̰o͉̥͓̰͚̥s̟͚̹̱͔̣t͉̙̳̖͖̪̮r̥̘̥͙̹a͉̟̫̟̳̠̟̭t͈̜̰͈͎e̞̣̭̲̬ ͚̗̯̟͙i͍͖̰̘̦͖͉ṇ̮̻̯̦̲̩͍ ̦̮͚̫̤t͉͖̫͕ͅͅh͙̮̻̘̣̮̼e͕̺ ͙l͕̠͎̰̥i̲͓͉̲g̫̳̟͈͇̖h̠̦̖t͓̯͎̗ ̳̪̘̟̙̩̦o̫̲f̙͔̰̙̠ ̹̪̗͇̯t͖̼̼͉͖̬h̹͇̩e͚̖̺̤͉̹͕̪ ͚͓̭̝̺G͎̗̯̩o̫̯̮̟̮̳̘d̜̲͙̠-̩̳̯̲̗̜P̹̘̥͉̝h͍͈̗̖̝ͅa͍̗̮̼̗r̜̖͇̙̺a̭̺͔̞̳͈o̪̣͓̯̬͙̯̰̗h̖̦͈̥̯͔.͇̣̙̝
Alas, they did not do it right
The drip actually created a "ZZ Top Effect"
P.S: Mind you, this was originally intended to encourage people to read my actual Blog. Like the one in my info bar thing with the 37 entries. Not that anyone will like that either. I love you all with all my heart but alas I find that I have a hard time relating to some of the peeps here. I'm sure though, that with the doors that The Speakeasy opens that that could be resolved in no time!
Er, cheesebooger sandwich.
I don't know if Jolly wants
herhis thread used exclusively for that...(And I also notice the pronoun in the thread title was changed to a singular they...)
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Don't lie
A great man once said:
"If someone vomits watching one of my films, it's like getting a standing ovation"
Although it may seem that way, my intent certainly isn't to just put people off or "shock" them. But I understand that my idea of art/humour is a far cry from what most people's idea is. And that's fine. But please understand my only intent is to just share with the people here some of the images and thoughts that come into my head throughout the day.
If people enjoy them, that's wonderful. If they don't like them, that's fine too. But my only intent is to simply cast these words in front of the audience, what happens after that is their choice.
On a hopefully lighter note (I have a hard time gauging what people do and don't find light here) I always loved the idea of "Hamburger Cereal". I see it as having pieces of dehydrated beef amongst pieces of hamburger shaped corn cereal. The milk would sorta rehydrate the beef and there you'd have it. Hamburger Cereal.
Imagine drinking the leftover milk from that one? Greeeeeeeeeasy!
Isn't milk+beef the basis for stroganoff?
No reason to apologize, I wasn't offended or anything. Just figured I'd take that time to explain my intent a bit is all.
And very true about the stroganoff. America loves dairy (but runs on dunkin), I'm honestly pretty sure we could sell Hamburger Cereal here. I mean, they have the whole "Bacon Everything" now.
Ever notice how like, aside from all the celebrity crap there's always that one awkward pop culture thing we're supposed to focus on?
Like right now it's bacon, and before that it was Betty White and not to long before that it was Mullets and before that it was midgets. I'm sure I missed some trends there, but do you know what I mean?
I tried a bacon cereal, once, actually, it ended up, well, tasting like bacon and milk. 'Course, that was when I was camping, and ravenously hungry, so cardboard would have tasted pretty good at that point. I'd give it a 4.7 or so, but one does has to ask why you would dilute your bacon like that.
MOAR BACON.
I wouldn't really say they're "memes". I always assumed "memes" was strictly an internet thing. These sort of pop culture trends usually start IRL as far as I know.
How did you come about bacon cereal? Did you make it yourself? I heard that Jack In The Box (and I'm serious here, I'm not promising this is true but I have heard it from a few pretty reliable sources) has a Bacon Milkshake. It's not on the menu, but you could apparently ask for it and they'll make it.
Edit- A friend of mine says the Bacon Milkshake was pretty bad.
I totally don't have any reason not to believe you about the cereal, sounds legit to me.
And ja, pretty much everything from Jack In The Box is far, far more disgusting then anything I could ever come up with. I've only ever had the misfortune of having their food recently as I lived in New Jersey for most of my existence and Jersey is too beautiful for something so ugly as JITB.
Yeah, we have the sublimity that is White Castle. We don't need your Jack.
I̟̥͍̠ͅn̩͉̣͍̬͚ͅ ̬̬͖t̯̹̞̺͖͓̯̤h̘͍̬e͙̯͈̖̼̮ ̭̬f̺̲̲̪i͙͉̟̩̰r̪̝͚͈̝̥͍̝̲s̼̻͇̘̳͔ͅt̲̺̳̗̜̪̙ ̳̺̥̻͚̗ͅm̜̜̟̰͈͓͎͇o̝̖̮̝͇m̯̻̞̼̫̗͓̤e̩̯̬̮̩n͎̱̪̲̹͖t͇̖s̰̮ͅ,̤̲͙̻̭̻̯̹̰ ̖t̫̙̺̯͖͚̯ͅh͙̯̦̳̗̰̟e͖̪͉̼̯ ̪͕g̞̣͔a̗̦t̬̬͓͙̫̖̭̻e̩̻̯ ̜̖̦̖̤̭͙̬t̞̹̥̪͎͉ͅo͕͚͍͇̲͇͓̺ ̭̬͙͈̣̻t͈͍͙͓̫̖͙̩h̪̬̖̙e̗͈ ̗̬̟̞̺̤͉̯ͅa̦̯͚̙̜̮f͉͙̲̣̞̼t̪̤̞̣͚e̲͉̳̥r͇̪̙͚͓l̥̞̞͎̹̯̹ͅi͓̬f̮̥̬̞͈ͅe͎ ̟̩̤̳̠̯̩̯o̮̘̲p̟͚̣̞͉͓e͍̩̣n͔̼͕͚̜e̬̱d̼̘͎̖̹͍̮̠,͖̺̭̱̮ ̣̲͖̬̪̭̥a̪͚n̟̲̝̤̤̞̗d̘̱̗͇̮͕̳͕͔ ͖̞͉͎t̹̙͎h̰̱͉̗e̪̞̱̝̹̩ͅ ̠̱̩̭̦p̯̙e͓o̳͚̰̯̺̱̰͔̘p̬͎̱̣̼̩͇l̗̟̖͚̠e̱͉͔̱̦̬̟̙ ̖͚̪͔̼̦w̺̖̤̱e͖̗̻̦͓̖̘̜r̭̥e͔̹̫̱͕̦̰͕ ̗͔̠p̠̗͍͍̱̳̠r̰͔͎̰o͉̥͓̰͚̥s̟͚̹̱͔̣t͉̙̳̖͖̪̮r̥̘̥͙̹a͉̟̫̟̳̠̟̭t͈̜̰͈͎e̞̣̭̲̬ ͚̗̯̟͙i͍͖̰̘̦͖͉ṇ̮̻̯̦̲̩͍ ̦̮͚̫̤t͉͖̫͕ͅͅh͙̮̻̘̣̮̼e͕̺ ͙l͕̠͎̰̥i̲͓͉̲g̫̳̟͈͇̖h̠̦̖t͓̯͎̗ ̳̪̘̟̙̩̦o̫̲f̙͔̰̙̠ ̹̪̗͇̯t͖̼̼͉͖̬h̹͇̩e͚̖̺̤͉̹͕̪ ͚͓̭̝̺G͎̗̯̩o̫̯̮̟̮̳̘d̜̲͙̠-̩̳̯̲̗̜P̹̘̥͉̝h͍͈̗̖̝ͅa͍̗̮̼̗r̜̖͇̙̺a̭̺͔̞̳͈o̪̣͓̯̬͙̯̰̗h̖̦͈̥̯͔.͇̣̙̝
Oh hey, and you're from Edison even. That's where I'm from!!
Do you ever go to Timezone Games? I use to go there when I was still in NJ and still do when I come to visit.
Well, isn't this a shocker. I freakin' love Timezone.
I̟̥͍̠ͅn̩͉̣͍̬͚ͅ ̬̬͖t̯̹̞̺͖͓̯̤h̘͍̬e͙̯͈̖̼̮ ̭̬f̺̲̲̪i͙͉̟̩̰r̪̝͚͈̝̥͍̝̲s̼̻͇̘̳͔ͅt̲̺̳̗̜̪̙ ̳̺̥̻͚̗ͅm̜̜̟̰͈͓͎͇o̝̖̮̝͇m̯̻̞̼̫̗͓̤e̩̯̬̮̩n͎̱̪̲̹͖t͇̖s̰̮ͅ,̤̲͙̻̭̻̯̹̰ ̖t̫̙̺̯͖͚̯ͅh͙̯̦̳̗̰̟e͖̪͉̼̯ ̪͕g̞̣͔a̗̦t̬̬͓͙̫̖̭̻e̩̻̯ ̜̖̦̖̤̭͙̬t̞̹̥̪͎͉ͅo͕͚͍͇̲͇͓̺ ̭̬͙͈̣̻t͈͍͙͓̫̖͙̩h̪̬̖̙e̗͈ ̗̬̟̞̺̤͉̯ͅa̦̯͚̙̜̮f͉͙̲̣̞̼t̪̤̞̣͚e̲͉̳̥r͇̪̙͚͓l̥̞̞͎̹̯̹ͅi͓̬f̮̥̬̞͈ͅe͎ ̟̩̤̳̠̯̩̯o̮̘̲p̟͚̣̞͉͓e͍̩̣n͔̼͕͚̜e̬̱d̼̘͎̖̹͍̮̠,͖̺̭̱̮ ̣̲͖̬̪̭̥a̪͚n̟̲̝̤̤̞̗d̘̱̗͇̮͕̳͕͔ ͖̞͉͎t̹̙͎h̰̱͉̗e̪̞̱̝̹̩ͅ ̠̱̩̭̦p̯̙e͓o̳͚̰̯̺̱̰͔̘p̬͎̱̣̼̩͇l̗̟̖͚̠e̱͉͔̱̦̬̟̙ ̖͚̪͔̼̦w̺̖̤̱e͖̗̻̦͓̖̘̜r̭̥e͔̹̫̱͕̦̰͕ ̗͔̠p̠̗͍͍̱̳̠r̰͔͎̰o͉̥͓̰͚̥s̟͚̹̱͔̣t͉̙̳̖͖̪̮r̥̘̥͙̹a͉̟̫̟̳̠̟̭t͈̜̰͈͎e̞̣̭̲̬ ͚̗̯̟͙i͍͖̰̘̦͖͉ṇ̮̻̯̦̲̩͍ ̦̮͚̫̤t͉͖̫͕ͅͅh͙̮̻̘̣̮̼e͕̺ ͙l͕̠͎̰̥i̲͓͉̲g̫̳̟͈͇̖h̠̦̖t͓̯͎̗ ̳̪̘̟̙̩̦o̫̲f̙͔̰̙̠ ̹̪̗͇̯t͖̼̼͉͖̬h̹͇̩e͚̖̺̤͉̹͕̪ ͚͓̭̝̺G͎̗̯̩o̫̯̮̟̮̳̘d̜̲͙̠-̩̳̯̲̗̜P̹̘̥͉̝h͍͈̗̖̝ͅa͍̗̮̼̗r̜̖͇̙̺a̭̺͔̞̳͈o̪̣͓̯̬͙̯̰̗h̖̦͈̥̯͔.͇̣̙̝
Coolness, Ja it's a nice place. I know Shawn from waaaay back when we use to play at Card Board Closet (alas CBC closed around 03 or so but you could still see the sign for it painted on the side of the building right across from JR's Pub like just down the street from Timezone.
speaks for itself
Upon this request, the man hunched over and began to dash about the store on all fours. Sniffing people's crotches, pulling up women's shirts, smashing bottles. defecating in the isles and just screaming and grunting the whole time.
Store security ended up dragging the poor guy out, I don't think they got the joke. People need to lighten up.