-You can’t beat Jon Finkel-you can only lose less. And even then, it’s iffy.
-It is a little known fact that any deck list you see that is credited to Jon Finkel is not actually a deck that he has ever used. If you saw what he actually won with, your head would explode.
-The opening of the Ark at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark is actually a dramatic reenactment of an average Jon Finkel game of Magic.
-The indestructible mechanic was inspired by Jon Finkel.
-Once, a young up-and-comer was trying to steal card ideas from the Wizard’s archive when Jon Finkel caught him and “accidentally” shoved him into a vat of chemicals. The result was Mark Rosewater.
-The federal government once tried to control Jon Finkel’s Magic skills through regulation. The result was the Great Depression.
-In the interest of keeping things interesting, Jon Finkel has yet to reveal his most devastating deck to date: Epic Struggle-Chance Encounter combo.
Momir Basic was created to give all players a better chance against Jon Finkel. What they failed to realize is that the randomizer is too afraid of Jon Finkel to give him anything other than what he wants.
What's obvious is that you're not being funny. Humor is not just repeating things without understanding them. You have to know that Chuck Norris is famous for martial arts movies, and his trademark is a roundhouse kick. That is why the CN facts involve roundhouse kicks as much as they do. You can't not know this.
But this isn't about Chuck Norris. You can't just turn CN facts into JF facts without adapting them in some way. Let me demonstrate. I've decided to use this CN fact:
Let's review, Chuck Norris is good at martial arts, but punching a man in the soul is physically impossible. Now to translate this to magic we can make Jon Finkel do something relating to Magic that goes into the realm of the impossible.
Jon Finkel once Unsummoned his opponent back to God's hand.
My point here is that you can turn any Chuck fact into a Finkel fact, but you need to do something to it. Just repeating them and changing the name isn't humorosity.
...you know, there needs to be a Bush version of Godwin's Law.
Jon Finkel once dealt over twenty thousand damage to his opponent in a single turn. This doesn't seem all that impressive unless you consider that the opponent had him under a Mindslaver.
Jon Finkel once went 8-0 in a tournament using a deck of zero cards.
Jon Finkel can target mana abilities. With Incinerates.
You win on four counts here, quite impressive considering you only gave three Finkel facts. The second fact was kind of meh but you made up for it in spades because of your opening statement about Godwin's Law.
In response to Jesus Christ walking on the Sea of Galilee, Jon Finkel played a Rite of Flame with one in the 'yard, followed by a Boil. That was edited out of the gospels, but John of Patmos made it up to his good friend by including Finkel in his Revelation. As the Seven-Headed Beast.
Jon finkel once played a game of magic with Chuck Norris. When Finkel cast his card, Chuck tapped his two islands, and said no. Unfortunately, nothing happened. He said the word once more, and found that that his words were ineffective against Finkel's spells. Upon realizing this, he conceded.
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Chrome Homura is an intelligent guy. Stands up for Fulminator Mage and doesn't afraid of anything.
Jon Finkel has "Roundhouse kick: Counter target spell or ability."
okay, i just read a bit back on this page and i feel the need to defend myself and my joke a little here.
i did not simply "retread an old Chuck Norris joke." i took two words that are associated to Chuck Norris ("roundhouse kick") and inserted them into an otherwise completely new Jon Finkel joke. my main joke is somebody countering a spell with a dramatic physical action that is inherent to them and not printed on a card, and my referencing the original Norris premise in my joke by making the physical action a "roundhouse kick" is called "meta-humor." it is humor for smart people. i am smart. i'm sorry if you're not.
Metahumor is context dependent, and the JF fact in question wasn't different from the others that were already up. Then again it's not like you're the only person who's repeating the same facts right back. The sum of all good facts past the first post would be less than the size of that post, and would probably include nothing form either of us.
i'm not repeating anything. scour this thread and the Chuck Norris thread and find me one other instance of CN or JF countering a spell with a physical action. deal with it: my joke is original. i'll leave whether it's funny up to people with a sense of humor, which you seem to lack.