Sensei's diving top 1 1: look at the top three cards of your library during ten seconds, say "hummm...", then, put them back in any order.
:symtap:: look at the top card of your library, then at sensei's diving top, then think if you are doing the right thing during five seconds, then draw a card and put sensei's diving top in the top of your library.
so, I've heard you like pissing the opponent
The ultimate mind's vault 6UUU
Sorcery
get all cards in all zones of the game and shuffle them all thogether.
Until the end of the game all players share the same library.
Russian doll 3
Artifact creature - doll 3: put a 1/1 colorless artifact doll token onto the battlefield with "3: put a 1/1 colorless artifact doll token onto the battlefield with "3: put a 1/1 colorless artifact doll token onto the battlefield with "3: put a 1/1 colorless artifact doll token onto the battlefield with "3: put a 1/1 colorless artifact doll token onto the battlefield with "3: put a 1/1 colorless artifact doll token onto the battlefield with "3: put a 1/1 colorless artifact doll token onto the battlefield with "3: put a 1/1 colorless artifact doll token onto the battlefield with "3: put a 1/1 colorless artifact doll token onto the battlefield", active this ability just once", active this ability just once", active this ability just once", active this ability just once", active this ability just once", active this ability just once", active this ability just once", active this ability just once", active this ability just once", active this ability just once", active this ability just once.
1/1
Mr. Storm crow, The Ruler of existence 1U
Planeswalker - Mr. Strom Crow
( +10 ) put an uterly broken 1/2 incredible blue creature token of the type bird with the unbelivable ability of flying named "Storm crow" onto the battlefield!
( -10 ) Obliterate target non-storm crow permanent!
( -100 ) for each storm crow you control, win target game (whatever it is)!!!
( initial = 99)
Lack-of Bolt R
Instant (C)
Deal 2 damage to target creature or player.
Say 'Lightning Bolt is underpowered.': Deal 4 damage to target creature or player. The RDW-player shrieked, calling on the rage of the burn spells of his youth. To his surprise, the card responded with a damage level he’d never thought to see again.
^Now that is an Un-card. It's born of a personal frustration.
Lack-of Bolt R
Instant (C)
Deal 2 damage to target creature or player.
Say 'Lightning Bolt is underpowered.': Deal 4 damage to target creature or player. The RDW-player shrieked, calling on the rage of the burn spells of his youth. To his surprise, the card responded with a damage level he’d never thought to see again.
^Now that is an Un-card. It's born of a personal frustration.
That is beautiful. Should just be 3 damage like a normal Bolt though.
In the same vein:
Cancel Cancel1UU
Instant
Counter target spell.
As you cast Cancel Cancel, if you say "Cancel sucks", choose one: Cancel Cancel costs 1 less to cast; or exile the countered spell; or each player draws a card; or put the countered spell on the bottom of its owner's library. R&D's idea of balance is the basis for many spectacular spells—and some equally astonishing failures.
THE TutorB
Instant
Search your library for a card and put that card on top of your library. Then, shuffle your library. "Where did it go? I could swear it was right here at the top!"
That is a thing of beauty! I want that card so much! It's hilarious!
THE TutorB
Instant
Search your library for a card and put that card on top of your library. Then, shuffle your library. "Where did it go? I could swear it was right here at the top!"
As Sword of This and That enters the battlefield, choose two permanents on the battlefield (this first one will from now on be referred to "this" while the second will be referred to as "that").
Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from this and from that. Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player activate a triggered ability of this and trigger and activated ability of that. If those abilities require a target you cannot target this and you cannot target that. Whenever this or that leaves the battlefield choose something else on the battlefield other than this or that. If you do change the text of Sword of This and That by replacing all instances of this or that with something else.
Equip: 2, Convince all other players that this makes sense.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player copy an activated or triggered ability of this and an activated or triggered ability of that.
I really wish this said: Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player activate a triggered ability of this and trigger an activated ability of that.
+2 - Look at the top card of target player's library. Your opponent may ask up to 3 questions followed by 1 guess of what the card is. If that player guesses the card correctly, put that card in that players hand. (All answers to the question must be honest) If that player is incorrect, put the top 4 cards in that players graveyard.
0 - Target opponent draws 3 cards. Look at opponents hand. Put 2 cards back on top of players library.
-1 - Ask target opponent which permanent he values most. Then, target permanent gets mounted by Juice, the Inception Master. (To mount, put the mounted card face down with the mounting card on top of it. Afterwards, shamefully return mounted card to the same opponent's hand)
-12 - Jump up and down. Once this action is completed, win target game.
I really wish this said: Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player activate a triggered ability of this and trigger an activated ability of that.
When Lightning Colt comes into play it deals 3 damage to target creature or player and 2 damage to you.
1/1
I'm buckin' crazy!
B
Phantasmal Heir
Creature - Vampire Illusion
Flying
Prevent all combat damage that would be dealt to Phantasmal Heir.
When Phantasmal Heir becomes the target of a spell or ability, sacrifice it.
Whenever Phantasmal Heir deals combat damage to a creature or player, put a +1/+1 Counter on it.
0/1
"Put 'em up. Put 'em up."
BB
Big Stinker
Instant
Fart as loudly as possible. For each giggle by any other player, put a -1/-1 counter on each creature your opponent controls. For each frown by any other player, put a -1/-1 counter on each creature you control.
"Wasn't me! It was...someone over there...I swear!"
G
Intended Lion
Creature - Lion
Whenever Mtenda Lion attacks, any player may raise their hand and yell, "Judge". If any player does, reassign all combat damage that would be dealt by Intended Lion to target opponent of that player's choice.
Hippie is green (and a douche). Hippie cannot attack, or block, or activate abilities. At the beginning of your upkeep, put a Peace Counter on Hippie. At the beginning of your end step, if Hippie has 10 or more peace counters on it, the game ends in a draw.
"Make love, not war, or productivity, or business, or good music."
Some facts of magic:
-Terror is an emotion which, when experienced, results in death.
-The pox was a disease notorious for having killed one-third, rounded up, of Europe’s population. Smallpox, on the other hand, killed only a single person.
-A person riding a horse cannot be stopped by foot soldiers, large animals, walls, archers, or even catapults.
Remove everything that isn't a Magic card from the table. Flip the table over. (If physically flipping it is impossible, instead push them off the side.) Exile all cards that landed face down. The remainder of the game is played on the floor.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
VWORP,VWORP,VWORP, VWORP, VWORP...
Decks: M12 UW Preconstructed -- Drafted GW
Skill level: Low
Money to buy new cards: Nonexistent
Remove everything that isn't a Magic card from the table. Flip the table over. (If physically flipping it is impossible, instead push them off the side.) Exile all cards that landed face down. The remainder of the game is played on the floor.
this made me laugh til i cried.
you sir are my hero.
Spike, ultra competitive jerk. G
Legendary Creature - Efficient Beater
6/5
"He's not that efficient, he still trades with Tarmogoyf!"
Spike's Kinda Counter Magic 1U
Instant
Split Second
Move target spell to the bottom of the stack.
"Wait...what?"
I hate spikes. 1R
instant
split second
Move target spell to a random spot on the stack, then move another target spell to a random spot on the stack.
"If you play more than one of this in your deck I'll rip your face off."
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
When does lightning bolt kill Emrakul? When your opponent's at three.
When this enters the battlefield, each player gains 40 life.
Players cannot have poison counters placed on them.
Activated abilities can only be activated once per turn.
Spells can't be countered.
Lands can't be destroyed.
All spells lose storm.
Creatures attack each turn if able.
Cards that cost more than $10 may not be played.
If a player spends more than 10 seconds between actions, that player's turn ends.
If a player would lose the game, instead the game restarts.
If a player suggests a better play you could have made, remove that player from the game.
If a player mentions a game rule that you've broken, remove that player from the game.
Discard a land card: reveal cards from the top of your deck until you reveal a nonland card and put it into your hand.
Discard a nonland card: reveal cards from the top of your deck until you reveal a land card and put it into your hand.
If casual play leaves the battlefield, choose one: Tell a competitive player that they don't know how to have fun, call someone a boring netdecker, complain about getting mana screwed, or talk about how much nicer it was when decks cost less than "LIKE ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS"
When this enters the battlefield, each player gains 40 life.
Players cannot have poison counters placed on them.
Activated abilities can only be activated once per turn.
Spells can't be countered.
Lands can't be destroyed.
All spells lose storm.
Creatures attack each turn if able.
Cards that cost more than $10 may not be played.
If a player spends more than 10 seconds between actions, that player's turn ends.
If a player would lose the game, instead the game restarts.
If a player suggests a better play you could have made, remove that player from the game.
If a player mentions a game rule that you've broken, remove that player from the game.
Discard a land card: reveal cards from the top of your deck until you reveal a nonland card and put it into your hand.
Discard a nonland card: reveal cards from the top of your deck until you reveal a land card and put it into your hand.
If casual play leaves the battlefield, choose one: Tell a competitive player that they don't know how to have fun, call someone a boring netdecker, complain about getting mana screwed, or talk about how much nicer it was when decks cost less than "LIKE ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS"
Wowza! That calls for micro-microtext (perhaps even more micro than Greater Morphling) :D.
Anyway, while we're in the business of making "addressing play-style issues" cards, here's one to peg one of my Magic peeves:
Do You Own This?
Sorcery- UB
Search target player's hand, graveyard, and library for a proxy card. If you find one that player has twenty seconds to produce a real Magic the Gathering card with the same name that is written on the proxy card from his or her collection. If that player does not produce the card in the allotted time, exile that proxy. Then that player shuffles his or her library. You may repeat this process.
Did you really shell out $900 for a cardboard flower? ...Didn't think so.
Night Owl 2U
Creature - Bird
As long as the time is later than 7pm and earlier than midnight, ~ gains +0/+2 and sleepwalk (This creature is unblockable as long as somebody in the room is asleep.)
At precisely midnight, transform ~
2/1
////
Early Bird
Creature - Bird
As long as it is between midnight and 5am, ~ gains +0/+2 and awakewalk. (This creature is unblockable as long as defending player is awake. Feigning sleep is considered awake.)
When the sun rises, exile ~
1/2
All of a sudden I had the inspiration to create a cycle of cards dealing with a yet untapped aspect of Magic:
Critical Tutor
Instant- WU
Search your library for a card that has a ranking of 4 stars or greater on the Wizards Community board. Reveal that card. Shuffle your library and put that card on top of it.
No doubt this card will be able to search for itself.
Underdog
Creature-Dog... Person? -1G
2/1
Protection from Greater Wizard's Community Ranking Than This (this creature cannot be blocked by, damaged, targeted, or enchanted by anything with a higher Wizard's Community ranking than this creature.)
Oh no! He's going all the way! Where's Sivitri Scarzam when you need her?
Red Hot Accolades
Instant- 2R
As an additional cost to cast Red Hot Accolades, discard a card.
Red Hot Accolades deals damage to target creature or player equal to the Wizard's Community ranking of the card discarded this way (measured in stars).
Players Tip: You can double the awesomeness by discarding Akroma, Angel of Wrath to this spell and then bring her back with Animate Dead. What? She has protection from black? Nevermind.
Retcon 2W
Instant (R)
Choose one: Target opponent takes back last turn or reverse the result of a previous game. (whoever won, lost, and whoever lost, won.)
Entwine 4W, Be Brady Dommeruth (do both if you pay the entwine cost)
"Shut up, this is my continuity now!"
1UR: BOOM HEADSHOT!
Sorcery
Destroy target permanent that has art depicting a head. Human or otherwise.
If the location of the head on target card's art is disputed, a bystander may be asked to clarify.
If any player not in control of the target yells "BOOM HEADSHOT!" and dances around like they're on speed, exile target permanent instead.
Comment,... please
0Herbal combo0
Legacy:
UPiratesU
Modern:
BWUR0Artificer's intuitionBWUR0
Extended:
I dont play this crap
Standard:
BRGaggro-rampBRG
The herbal combo list:
1 x spellbook
3 x mox opal
1 x grapeshot
55 x herbal poutice
Instant (C)
Deal 2 damage to target creature or player.
Say 'Lightning Bolt is underpowered.': Deal 4 damage to target creature or player.
The RDW-player shrieked, calling on the rage of the burn spells of his youth. To his surprise, the card responded with a damage level he’d never thought to see again.
Decks:GU Evolver, W Modern Knights
Apprentice of Spell Manipulation
Archester: Frontier of Steam
That is beautiful. Should just be 3 damage like a normal Bolt though.
In the same vein:
Cancel Cancel 1UU
Instant
Counter target spell.
As you cast Cancel Cancel, if you say "Cancel sucks", choose one: Cancel Cancel costs 1 less to cast; or exile the countered spell; or each player draws a card; or put the countered spell on the bottom of its owner's library.
R&D's idea of balance is the basis for many spectacular spells—and some equally astonishing failures.
You got 99 attackers but I'm blocking with 1.
The Winner is Judge | 7
This Winner is Also Judge | 6
Club Flamingo | Lots
Instant
Draw into the hand you actually want, then shuffle your library.
"Aha! Here is that pesky land..."
That is a thing of beauty! I want that card so much! It's hilarious!
sorcery
counter target spell
Thank you for Heroes of the Plane Studios for this awesome sig.
Legacy:
Shardlessless BUG (active)
Shardless BUG (retired)
UW Stoneblade (retired)
Maveric (retired)
Thopters (retired)
Dark Horizons (retired)
Dreadstill (retired)
Armageddon Staxx (retired)
- You think it is over, but Ibraman has just begun...
- When it rains, women get wet.
You sir- Made me laugh diabolically outloud...
Moar please!
Decks:
As Sword of This and That enters the battlefield, choose two permanents on the battlefield (this first one will from now on be referred to "this" while the second will be referred to as "that").
Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from this and from that. Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player activate a triggered ability of this and trigger and activated ability of that. If those abilities require a target you cannot target this and you cannot target that. Whenever this or that leaves the battlefield choose something else on the battlefield other than this or that. If you do change the text of Sword of This and That by replacing all instances of this or that with something else.
Equip: 2, Convince all other players that this makes sense.
Flying
2/1
540 Peasant cube- Gold EditionSomething SpicyI really wish this said: Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player activate a triggered ability of this and trigger an activated ability of that.
Decks
Standard [Inn-RTR, M14]
Retired: Grixis Control 15-1
UR Pyromancer 4-0
3-Color White Spirits
Goblins
G/W Hate
MBC
+2 - Look at the top card of target player's library. Your opponent may ask up to 3 questions followed by 1 guess of what the card is. If that player guesses the card correctly, put that card in that players hand. (All answers to the question must be honest) If that player is incorrect, put the top 4 cards in that players graveyard.
0 - Target opponent draws 3 cards. Look at opponents hand. Put 2 cards back on top of players library.
-1 - Ask target opponent which permanent he values most. Then, target permanent gets mounted by Juice, the Inception Master. (To mount, put the mounted card face down with the mounting card on top of it. Afterwards, shamefully return mounted card to the same opponent's hand)
-12 - Jump up and down. Once this action is completed, win target game.
MTGS egos at their finest.
Thoughts on proxies:
Good idea. I made a few other changes as well.
R
Lightning Colt
Creature - Pony
When Lightning Colt comes into play it deals 3 damage to target creature or player and 2 damage to you.
1/1
I'm buckin' crazy!
B
Phantasmal Heir
Creature - Vampire Illusion
Flying
Prevent all combat damage that would be dealt to Phantasmal Heir.
When Phantasmal Heir becomes the target of a spell or ability, sacrifice it.
Whenever Phantasmal Heir deals combat damage to a creature or player, put a +1/+1 Counter on it.
0/1
"Put 'em up. Put 'em up."
BB
Big Stinker
Instant
Fart as loudly as possible. For each giggle by any other player, put a -1/-1 counter on each creature your opponent controls. For each frown by any other player, put a -1/-1 counter on each creature you control.
"Wasn't me! It was...someone over there...I swear!"
G
Intended Lion
Creature - Lion
Whenever Mtenda Lion attacks, any player may raise their hand and yell, "Judge". If any player does, reassign all combat damage that would be dealt by Intended Lion to target opponent of that player's choice.
2/1
"Um, how does this work again?"
Hippie
Creature - Pothead
Shroud
Hippie is green (and a douche). Hippie cannot attack, or block, or activate abilities. At the beginning of your upkeep, put a Peace Counter on Hippie. At the beginning of your end step, if Hippie has 10 or more peace counters on it, the game ends in a draw.
"Make love, not war, or productivity, or business, or good music."
0/1
MTGS egos at their finest.
Thoughts on proxies:
Creature - Bear
Bear enters the battlefield.
2/2
-Terror is an emotion which, when experienced, results in death.
-The pox was a disease notorious for having killed one-third, rounded up, of Europe’s population. Smallpox, on the other hand, killed only a single person.
-A person riding a horse cannot be stopped by foot soldiers, large animals, walls, archers, or even catapults.
More facts of magic
Sorcery - 2U
Remove everything that isn't a Magic card from the table. Flip the table over. (If physically flipping it is impossible, instead push them off the side.) Exile all cards that landed face down. The remainder of the game is played on the floor.
Decks: M12 UW Preconstructed -- Drafted GW
Skill level: Low
Money to buy new cards: Nonexistent
[dice]20[/dice]
Well played.
MTGS egos at their finest.
Thoughts on proxies:
this made me laugh til i cried.
you sir are my hero.
Currently Playing
UTron
Tahngarth, Talruum Hero
TRADE ME!!!
Legendary Creature - Efficient Beater
6/5
"He's not that efficient, he still trades with Tarmogoyf!"
Spike's Kinda Counter Magic 1U
Instant
Split Second
Move target spell to the bottom of the stack.
"Wait...what?"
I hate spikes. 1R
instant
split second
Move target spell to a random spot on the stack, then move another target spell to a random spot on the stack.
"If you play more than one of this in your deck I'll rip your face off."
Enchantment
When this enters the battlefield, each player gains 40 life.
Players cannot have poison counters placed on them.
Activated abilities can only be activated once per turn.
Spells can't be countered.
Lands can't be destroyed.
All spells lose storm.
Creatures attack each turn if able.
Cards that cost more than $10 may not be played.
If a player spends more than 10 seconds between actions, that player's turn ends.
If a player would lose the game, instead the game restarts.
If a player suggests a better play you could have made, remove that player from the game.
If a player mentions a game rule that you've broken, remove that player from the game.
Discard a land card: reveal cards from the top of your deck until you reveal a nonland card and put it into your hand.
Discard a nonland card: reveal cards from the top of your deck until you reveal a land card and put it into your hand.
If casual play leaves the battlefield, choose one: Tell a competitive player that they don't know how to have fun, call someone a boring netdecker, complain about getting mana screwed, or talk about how much nicer it was when decks cost less than "LIKE ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS"
Wowza! That calls for micro-microtext (perhaps even more micro than Greater Morphling) :D.
Anyway, while we're in the business of making "addressing play-style issues" cards, here's one to peg one of my Magic peeves:
Do You Own This?
Sorcery- UB
Search target player's hand, graveyard, and library for a proxy card. If you find one that player has twenty seconds to produce a real Magic the Gathering card with the same name that is written on the proxy card from his or her collection. If that player does not produce the card in the allotted time, exile that proxy. Then that player shuffles his or her library. You may repeat this process.
Did you really shell out $900 for a cardboard flower? ...Didn't think so.
Creature - Bird
As long as the time is later than 7pm and earlier than midnight, ~ gains +0/+2 and sleepwalk (This creature is unblockable as long as somebody in the room is asleep.)
At precisely midnight, transform ~
2/1
////
Early Bird
Creature - Bird
As long as it is between midnight and 5am, ~ gains +0/+2 and awakewalk. (This creature is unblockable as long as defending player is awake. Feigning sleep is considered awake.)
When the sun rises, exile ~
1/2
Decks:GU Evolver, W Modern Knights
Apprentice of Spell Manipulation
Archester: Frontier of Steam
Critical Tutor
Instant- WU
Search your library for a card that has a ranking of 4 stars or greater on the Wizards Community board. Reveal that card. Shuffle your library and put that card on top of it.
No doubt this card will be able to search for itself.
Underdog
Creature-Dog... Person? -1G
2/1
Protection from Greater Wizard's Community Ranking Than This (this creature cannot be blocked by, damaged, targeted, or enchanted by anything with a higher Wizard's Community ranking than this creature.)
Oh no! He's going all the way! Where's Sivitri Scarzam when you need her?
Red Hot Accolades
Instant- 2R
As an additional cost to cast Red Hot Accolades, discard a card.
Red Hot Accolades deals damage to target creature or player equal to the Wizard's Community ranking of the card discarded this way (measured in stars).
Players Tip: You can double the awesomeness by discarding Akroma, Angel of Wrath to this spell and then bring her back with Animate Dead. What? She has protection from black? Nevermind.
Instant (R)
Choose one: Target opponent takes back last turn or reverse the result of a previous game. (whoever won, lost, and whoever lost, won.)
Entwine 4W, Be Brady Dommeruth (do both if you pay the entwine cost)
"Shut up, this is my continuity now!"
Decks:GU Evolver, W Modern Knights
Apprentice of Spell Manipulation
Archester: Frontier of Steam
Sorcery
Destroy target permanent that has art depicting a head. Human or otherwise.
If the location of the head on target card's art is disputed, a bystander may be asked to clarify.
If any player not in control of the target yells "BOOM HEADSHOT!" and dances around like they're on speed, exile target permanent instead.
As prompted by certain threads on the forums, I'm now certain that the planeswalkers in DGM will be.... Ral Zarek, Morsel of the Firemind.