Hello, thanks for calling Mr. Fu's IT Helpdesk, what can I help you with today?
That's right, I've gone from driving a taxi to doing tech support! Which for most of us cardfloppers, has a lot more potential for giggles!
Post to me your problems, and I shall write thee up a ticket, and do my best to help you out. Format will be very similar to that of my famous Taxi thread, in that calls will overlap, stories will meld and blend together, people will die horribly, et cetera!
EXAMPLE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mr. Fu puts his feet up on the cubicle, shifts until his newly fat wallet slides to the side of his pants, and tries to relax to the sound of his hard drive humming. Suddenly the phone rings, shattering what was otherwise a perfect moment in which to think about how much I screwed the guy I sold my taxi to.
Quote from ID10T »
I'm missing several dozen files from my My Documents folder. Can you help me find them? They contained important information, such as really large breasts in jpg format.
"Certainly sir, I can help you with that, give me just a moment!" Mr. Fu begins the ticket writing process.
User: ID10T
Problem: Wanker missing wank material.
Solution: Netmeeting!
Closed on Initial Contact: Yes
Mr. Fu walks ID10T through the complicated task of starting a NetMeeting.
"Yes, that's right... click Share... click Allow Control, and automatically accept requests for control... ah yes, that's done it. Here, I'm taking over your desktop... love the background, I didn't know that's what babies looked like inside... Ah here's the problem, you have two profiles on your computer, and the files you were looking for were in the one you weren't looking at. That's right. Uh-huh... lemme just open one of these up to make sure... oh indeed, those are incredibly large. The caption says she uses them to walk. Does this help? Excellent, glad to be of service!" *click*
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~In the beginning, there was nothing, which exploded.~ Fu's Cab - Retired! ||| Trade thread dead for now; returning soon! One day I will alt. art my Jace, The Mind Sculptors into 'Mentok! The Mind Takers!' Quotes
Quote from Magikeeper »
Mr. Fu, your leaving of MTGnews' humor forum killed it. KILLLED IT!
(voice of an older gentleman) "Hello, I have a problem. I was on my computer, downloading an attachment from a e-mail from some guy in Elbonia, and suddenly my computer screen went all blue and it said that there had been a "fatal exception" What's that mean, anyway? Am I missing a part in my computer? Well, anyway, it's still on that, and it says to push any key to continue, but I dunno where the "any" key is. Can you help me?"
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Kudos to Mr. Stuff for the adorable drummer avvy.
Kudos to Sephiroth Owa for the random banner. Tell me, ARE there similarities?
You see, part of what makes playing Magic so special is figuring out the good R&D decisions from the bad ones. If they were all good, it would take away an important element of the game: complaining about Magic on the Internet. - Mark Rosewater
It's amazing, the difference between sitting in a cubicle and sitting in a taxi.
I'm already on my third game of solitaire, and I am really kicking serious tail. The pictures of my family on my desk stare accusingly as I ignore incoming self-service emails in order to put a buncha cards in order.
I was so shocked when the phone rang I squeezed the contents of my Hot Pocket into my lap.
(voice of an older gentleman) "Hello, I have a problem. I was on my computer, downloading an attachment from a e-mail from some guy in Elbonia, and suddenly my computer screen went all blue and it said that there had been a "fatal exception" What's that mean, anyway? Am I missing a part in my computer? Well, anyway, it's still on that, and it says to push any key to continue, but I dunno where the "any" key is. Can you help me?"
Right you are sir, let me just generate a ticket for you...
User ID: Myrf
Problem: Opens e-mail from Elbonia.
Solution: Scolding.
Closed on Initial Contact: Yes
Sir, you shouldn't open e-mail from Elbonia. That was a bloody silly thing to do. For starters, everyone in Elbonia types with their elbows, so when they're trying to send you a friendly greeting they accidently send you a macro virus.
What you need to do is just drop elbows on your keyboard until your computer understands that you mean business. This ain't no jibber-jabber baby - if it wants the any key, give it EVERY key. Okie dokie? Also, turn it off and back on again. And delete that elbow-typers e-mail! This call is going to cost you 5 bucks too, so expect my drycleaning bill in the mail, I have your mailing address, thank you.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
~In the beginning, there was nothing, which exploded.~ Fu's Cab - Retired! ||| Trade thread dead for now; returning soon! One day I will alt. art my Jace, The Mind Sculptors into 'Mentok! The Mind Takers!' Quotes
Quote from Magikeeper »
Mr. Fu, your leaving of MTGnews' humor forum killed it. KILLLED IT!
Quote from RUBRDUX »
YUO HEARNIN ME BOY
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That's right, I've gone from driving a taxi to doing tech support! Which for most of us cardfloppers, has a lot more potential for giggles!
Post to me your problems, and I shall write thee up a ticket, and do my best to help you out. Format will be very similar to that of my famous Taxi thread, in that calls will overlap, stories will meld and blend together, people will die horribly, et cetera!
EXAMPLE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mr. Fu puts his feet up on the cubicle, shifts until his newly fat wallet slides to the side of his pants, and tries to relax to the sound of his hard drive humming. Suddenly the phone rings, shattering what was otherwise a perfect moment in which to think about how much I screwed the guy I sold my taxi to.
"Certainly sir, I can help you with that, give me just a moment!"
Mr. Fu begins the ticket writing process.
User: ID10T
Problem: Wanker missing wank material.
Solution: Netmeeting!
Closed on Initial Contact: Yes
Mr. Fu walks ID10T through the complicated task of starting a NetMeeting.
"Yes, that's right... click Share... click Allow Control, and automatically accept requests for control... ah yes, that's done it. Here, I'm taking over your desktop... love the background, I didn't know that's what babies looked like inside... Ah here's the problem, you have two profiles on your computer, and the files you were looking for were in the one you weren't looking at. That's right. Uh-huh... lemme just open one of these up to make sure... oh indeed, those are incredibly large. The caption says she uses them to walk. Does this help? Excellent, glad to be of service!" *click*
~In the beginning, there was nothing, which exploded.~
Fu's Cab - Retired! ||| Trade thread dead for now; returning soon!
One day I will alt. art my Jace, The Mind Sculptors into 'Mentok! The Mind Takers!'
Quotes
I'm already on my third game of solitaire, and I am really kicking serious tail. The pictures of my family on my desk stare accusingly as I ignore incoming self-service emails in order to put a buncha cards in order.
I was so shocked when the phone rang I squeezed the contents of my Hot Pocket into my lap.
Right you are sir, let me just generate a ticket for you...
User ID: Myrf
Problem: Opens e-mail from Elbonia.
Solution: Scolding.
Closed on Initial Contact: Yes
Sir, you shouldn't open e-mail from Elbonia. That was a bloody silly thing to do. For starters, everyone in Elbonia types with their elbows, so when they're trying to send you a friendly greeting they accidently send you a macro virus.
What you need to do is just drop elbows on your keyboard until your computer understands that you mean business. This ain't no jibber-jabber baby - if it wants the any key, give it EVERY key. Okie dokie? Also, turn it off and back on again. And delete that elbow-typers e-mail! This call is going to cost you 5 bucks too, so expect my drycleaning bill in the mail, I have your mailing address, thank you.
~In the beginning, there was nothing, which exploded.~
Fu's Cab - Retired! ||| Trade thread dead for now; returning soon!
One day I will alt. art my Jace, The Mind Sculptors into 'Mentok! The Mind Takers!'
Quotes