Welcome to EW! Sorry about the delay, I suspect the first half of this week is going to be very busy for me.
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Mechanical Bits:
First, it- ah, both daggers are enchanted with lighttouch. I suppose that counts as two minors! Is this guy going to focus on throwing them at people? If so, that's an interesting focus, I don't think we've had much in the way of dagger throwing [At least, not as a primary attack].
Although if I'm right about the intent:
You might want to have one magic dagger and an ability related to being good at throwing things.
Actually, although another WM can weigh in on this, I'd say that if you add on a reason for the daggers to be unpawnable having 2x lighttouch daggers and a special ability related to being pretty good at tossing them would be fine.
Otherwise, I am curious to know what he intends to do with a pair of incredibly light (for him) daggers.
That said, there is nothing wrong with this PC mechanically and he could be approved as-is if you so desire.
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Layout, punctuation, fluff, etc:
> The "Spells" section partially overlaps his gold amount. I don't think that's intentional.
> Although he has a fine backstory, the actual paragraph itself could benefit from some more punctuation and having the sentences restructured a bit.
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Signature: If you go (url=wwww.whatever.com)Text(/url) with []s instead of ()s you could write some text to serve as a link. For example: A link to this very page!
Welcome to EW! Sorry about the delay, I suspect the first half of this week is going to be very busy for me.
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Mechanical Bits:
First, it- ah, both daggers are enchanted with lighttouch. I suppose that counts as two minors! Is this guy going to focus on throwing them at people? If so, that's an interesting focus, I don't think we've had much in the way of dagger throwing [At least, not as a primary attack].
Although if I'm right about the intent:
You might want to have one magic dagger and an ability related to being good at throwing things.
Actually, although another WM can weigh in on this, I'd say that if you add on a reason for the daggers to be unpawnable having 2x lighttouch daggers and a special ability related to being pretty good at tossing them would be fine.
Otherwise, I am curious to know what he intends to do with a pair of incredibly light (for him) daggers.
That said, there is nothing wrong with this PC mechanically and he could be approved as-is if you so desire.
What exactly do you mean by the daggers are "light" for him? That they aren't very effective? I expected the throwing knives to be used for any ranged kills, the daggers for close up stealth, and the sword for full out encounters.
Onewingedngel666: That was my response the the guy that posted a new PC after you! His daggers are enchanted with lighttouch and I was curious to know what he intended to do with that.
This was my response to your PC -
Quote from Magikeeper »
I picked the wrong night to not check my other tabs, heh.
Looking good, although he doesn't seem to have any minors. Granted, he has a lot of iron weapons - which I guess you could consider a minor? - but even then he could still have one of those be magical. Or perhaps he could have some sort of ability?
I apologize for not referring to you both by name in my responses.
Onewingedngel666: That was my response the the guy that posted a new PC after you! His daggers are enchanted with lighttouch and I was curious to know what he intended to do with that.
This was my response to your PC -
I picked the wrong night to not check my other tabs, heh.
Looking good, although he doesn't seem to have any minors. Granted, he has a lot of iron weapons - which I guess you could consider a minor? - but even then he could still have one of those be magical. Or perhaps he could have some sort of ability?
I apologize for not referring to you both by name in my responses.
Ah, my bad. Sorry i dont completely understand how abilities/LSS's work, so I just decided to glance over them. Can you just make up the abilities? If so thats pretty cool. If I can get those explained in a little more depth, that'd be awesme.
Generally, you can make up minors (Usually 2 middling powers / items beyond mundane/low mod gear). The other poster chose to utilize an enchantment listed in the guide, which is not uncommon.
Custom Minors are stuff like.. actually, I'll go through some of my PCs and list some of their starting minors as an example. I was going to list all of them, then I remembered I'm known to have weird PCs and I probably shouldn't be using myself as standard. Some of my stuff is much.. wordier.. than the average minor as well; I know most minors are more like "A brief ability that notes so-and-so is good at acrobatics" or "this sword can burst into flames" or something.
Edit: Actually, a fair number of minors are "I have a neat-looking steel weapon / pistol / etc". Another note would be that pistols in EW are the really early crappy kind of pistol. Have to load them on the spot and everything.
Edit2: Ah! Found a good minor magic weapon example from one of Bane's guys:
> An 5' ironwood bo staff, pliant but strong. Has a minor beastial enchantment that can coat the tips in spidersilk, making them sticky and more grippy.
^Knowing Bane, I imagine the above was not meant to be a particularly mighty grip.
Edit3: Simple ability example from someone else's PC: Feral Fleetness - Having had to rely on evading the predators and dangers of the forest made made Diarnan extremely quick on his feet, nimble and agile.
Edit 4: "Starting with less than they could have" is also popular, I suppose. You don't have to have them.
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Anyway, examples from my PCs:
Worth of Men – Whenever a summon controlled by Yack kills a sentient being they breath deep of its essence like one sniffing the fine scent of proper stew. The essence of the deceased fuels the summon, allowing it to function without being maintained by Yack for a number of posts relative to the strength of the soul. When the soul escapes it releases an audible sigh that signals either the dispelling of the summon or Yack's need to fold it into his power.
Warm Smile of the Loving Masters – Whenever Yack personally kills a sentient being the victim erupts in a strangely colored fire that only burns its body and the flesh of the victim's allies/loved ones.
Pointy Side Out- You might wonder how a child who spent most of her life without opposable thumbs would know how to wield a weapon at all, much less be good with one. Fortunately, the magical explosion that turned Arl into a human also gave her a natural talent for fighting with stuff. Swords, spears, fish, sacks of potatoes - you name it, Arl can fight with it.
> Arl is considered to be reasonably proficient with any weapon she fights with.
Arl also started with a sapient parrot that could throw his voice (sapient animals cannot be PCs and are not at all natural nor common (magical experiments and other odd stuff), but they can be pets), below-average strength (Drawback), an ability that made her a bit better reducing the force of blows by moving with them, and a fluff non-ability.
If you are wondering, I wasn't a WM(GM) until my last PC (Miko). Not that it would have mattered, since WMs don't approve their own PCs.
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LSSs are not custom, although some LSSs (Spirit Guide and such) are tailored to the PC. There have been.. I dunno.. maybe 1-2 PCs that did not start with LSSs, but whatever they had instead was not a custom LSS.
So it is a regular iron longsword that occasionally seems to be made of black steel when looked at from certain angles?
Although it might be helpful to note if the ability is magical or not there certainty isn't anything wrong with it (In fact, being able to actually change from iron to a black steel would be okay).
Onewingedngel666: Steel color does not matter, no.
Iron/Steel are fairly similar, so it's just a difference in modifier (3 V 4).
That has the following effects:
> A Steel weapon has one more enchantment slot (Besides any initial ability, such a weapon can have up to 4 enchantments added to it later, such as the various crystal imbues and such). This is the main difference.
> A Steel weapon is a little harder to break / break stuff with. Magic items slowly repair themselves*, and stuff getting broken almost never happens anyway, so this is a very minor benefit.
> A Steel weapon can be pawned for a little more gold. Except items with unusual base abilities usually aren't pawnable anyway (inter-PC trading/selling is always an option, of course).
In summation, no, it's not really that big of a difference. Iron's just been the typical cut-off between random mundane starting gear and minors. Hence my commenting that the blade could just change metal type between iron and steel (maybe always counting as mod 4 for enchantments) freely without that being an issue at all.
*Unless they are single use / usable X times. Generally, if an item must be destroyed to be used or destroys itself as part of being used you can assume it doesn't repair itself unless noted otherwise. It's pretty obvious when this is the case.
Onewingedngel666: Steel color does not matter, no.
Iron/Steel are fairly similar, so it's just a difference in modifier (3 V 4).
That has the following effects:
> A Steel weapon has one more enchantment slot (Besides any initial ability, such a weapon can have up to 4 enchantments added to it later, such as the various crystal imbues and such). This is the main difference.
> A Steel weapon is a little harder to break / break stuff with. Magic items slowly repair themselves*, and stuff getting broken almost never happens anyway, so this is a very minor benefit.
> A Steel weapon can be pawned for a little more gold. Except items with unusual base abilities usually aren't pawnable anyway (inter-PC trading/selling is always an option, of course).
In summation, no, it's not really that big of a difference. Iron's just been the general cut-off for random mundane stuff. Hence my commenting that the blade could just change metal type between iron and steel (maybe always counting as mod 4 for enchantments) freely without that being an issue at all.
*Unless they are single use / usable X times. Generally, if an item must be destroyed to be used or destroys itself as part of being used you can assume it doesn't repair itself unless noted otherwise. It's pretty obvious when this is the case.
Okay I'll have it so it can turn back and forth then. Thanks.
No problem! Anyhow, you're approved! City paper-wise I'd stick to Ash (The city) as DAK isn't back yet. I believe there is quite a lot open over there, just show up at any location requesting people. I'd bet someone else could hop onto what's going on at the Boon Companion [also in Ash] as well. Nervada/Jakari still haven't set off as of yet.
Also, I don't think anyone sent you information regarding the aim OOC chat? You might not be interested, but I'll send you the information now.
New character here guys:
Name - Devlin
Race - Elf
Age - 15
Affiliations - Thieves Guild, Mage Society, Oathbreaker
Appearance & Apparel - Elf Boy who wears silver and black clothes with a large black cloak over. The cloak is used to hide his two swords. One sword is silver and the other is black. Has mid length black spiky hair and green eyes. 5' 8" tall and 175 lbs.
Personality & Background - Young boy who was trained in the arts of magic and thievery.Lives in Greevan. He was taken from his highborn parents at a young age and trained with the mage society and thieves guild to become a great weapon in the fight against corruption in the government, but he rejected his premade destinyy and ran away to form his own path. He believes in the duality of life, good and evil, black and white, the truth and lies, etc. He uses this view of duality in his fighting and magic use. He wants to one day separate the truth and lies, so there can be no gray area.
Skills/Weaknesses
Good at tailoring, made his cloak of darkness and had it enchanted it by a former mentor
Eye of Avarice - Ability to sense items with strong magics within your visual range, give off an orange aura.
Has a large amount of agility
TASKMAGERY - A vast and varied school of study, by learning as many spells across multiple arts as possible, you gain a deeper understanding and mastery of the true nature of magic.
> Each spell you learn increases your Taskmage Score by a number equal to that spell's level. Learning spell with the same art AND level as a spell you already know does not increase your score.
Lvl 1. So long as you know any level 1 spell, you can extrapolate your magical knowedge from that and skip other level 1 spells.
Required Score: 3
Lvl 2. The base cost of spell is reduced by 5 gold.
Required Score: 12
Lvl 3. You may combine your level 1 spells with other level 1 spells, creating non-levelable dualmagery spells. Component spells are still known and castable.
Required Score: 24
Lvl 4. For each art you know, you may prism a spell you know to that art once per encounter. Cannot be done more than X+1 times per encounter, where X is your Taskmagery level.
Required Score: 40
Lvl 5. The base cost of spell is reduced by an additional 5 gold. You now have access to any spells sold, despite normal guild restrictions or alike.
Required Score: 60
Lvl 6. You may now combine your level 1 spells with any other spells you know, but can only be done three times per encounter.
Required Score: 84
Lvl 7. You can cast an additional spell each turn if none of the spells cast that turn share the same art.
Required Score: 112
Lvl 8. Once a month you may delve into the magics of a magical item you own, unmaking it but creating a spell based on it. Art and level of this spell vary according to the item.
Required Score: 144
Lvl 9. You may permanently combine three spells you know of any combination of levels and arts into a single powerful spell.
Required Score: 180
Lvl 10. Deep in the Greevan Forest lies a forbidden cave known as The Path of Jhaeros. Only those who have truly mastered the core fundamentals behind a vast array of varying magics may enter, devoid of items, where their resourcefulness and judgment will be tested in a centuries old trial.
Required Score: 230
Weapons
Nyx-Basic 3 foot long one handed all black sword.
Argent- Basic 3 foot long one handed all silver sword
Non-Weapon Items
Backpack for carrying items. Currently holds a skin of water, an amulet that can start a small fire, and two days worth of food. Remaining 30 dollars in his wallet.
Cloak of Darkness: Long black cloak that conceal the wearers identity and any items carried under it.
Spells
Lvl 1 Mark - By contact you can mark a person's aura, which manifests in a glowing rune on their brow. Allows you to sense their presence. Can only have two people marked at a given time.
Lvl 1 Heel-Will call to heel animals that are already familiar with you (presuming they don't hold a grudge), despite any distractions.
Void- Free Oathbreaker Exclusive Spell - Passive. Creates a pocket dimension you can access at any time, allowing you to seem to store items in, and retrieve items from, thin air. Can only be used with items you are physically holding and requires a extending and retracting of the arm to use. Cannot intentionally be used on living entities.
Lvl 1 Home - You can anchor a part of your spirit to a single location ever. By casting this spell you will reconnect with that bit of your spirit and sense what is going on in that location.
Pets: Gorion named Ciaróg who he feeds a regular diet of jasper and topaz. He found him while running away from the mage society. He's had him ever since.
Hypogriff named Longclaw that he was given on his 14th birthday by the thieves guild (after they stole it). It only responds to his commands and can read body movement to see if someone is an enemy. If longclaw doesn't trust you, Devlin doesn't trust you.
Welcome! While I am not a mod, and thus cannot approve your character, I can give you tips. Overall, you did an excellent job. You listed gold as dollars in your backpack. I would use the tag {list} with {*} replacing the {} for[] for each new line for items in your backpack, makes your life easier in the future. I'm not sure on where pets count for minors, but the diet for your Gorion might get expensive maybe you could get some magic bag of feed for him. *shrug* And probably give a bit more detail on what your cloak actually does as it could be interpreted many ways.
Let's see..
> What are the swords made of? Given that he's a mage, I'd go with black ironwood and either actual silver (which is mod 2 in EW) or just go with a silver ironwood. (Nothing special about the color besides looking cool). Mage's have issues with a lot of the higher-mod metals (like iron).
> Dollars should be gold.
Now the other stuff, individually:
Cloak of Darkness: So, it shrouds the wearer's features and such in darkness? If that's what it does it sounds fine. It can indeed be interpreted many ways, some vastly stronger than others.
Gorion: Is this a dual-art Gorion? (Topaz-Spirit)? Kinda rare but I could see this being okay.
Hypogriff: Flying mount is an issue. Even if it couldn't serve as a flying mount for some reason, it's still more powerful than a single minor. If this was a very young or maybe pygmy Hypogriff that wasn't big enough to carry more than a small child that could be okay as a minor maybe, I'm going to look for a second opinion on this. I'm positive flying mount at start isn't aprovable in any case.
Amulet that starts fires: Like, it creates a spark? How do you imagine this working? Probably okay.
Overall: Fluff: I like this guy. Mechanically: Most of his stuff is individually okay, but he has a lot going on. Depending on the specifics, I could see... Actually, I'd like to work out whatever you want to do about the Hypogriff before suggesting what to do about anything else. And get clarifications on the intent of some of the other stuff.
Name - Ryzanthian "Wraith" Kiril (Ryze to friends/familiar people)
Race - Human
Age - 19
Affiliations - Theives Guild and Fraternity of Mages(Oathbreaker)
Appearance & Apparel - Theran wears mostly simple clothing, with nothing truly setting him apart, besides the overall
dark color combinations of the clothes. He stands at five foot, seven inches, with dark brown hair and gray eyes.
Personality & Background - Theran was born to a farming family, miles away from any major city. It was when he was
seven that he ran from home, hiding on a passing caravan headed to the next city over. He lived as an urchin for
years until coming to the theives guild. After scraping together a few more coins, he also entered into the mages
society, hoping to further his abilities. Resides in Elexia, bouncing between Pender's and inns..
Skills and Abilities
Eye of Avarice - Ability to sense items with strong magicswithin your visual range, give off an orange aura.
Void - Free Oathbreaker Exclusive Spell - Passive. Creates a pocket dimension you can access at any time, allowing
you to seem to store items in, and retrieve items from, thin air. Can only be used with items you are physically holding
and requires a extending and retracting of the arm to use. Cannot intentionally be used on living entities.
Free Runner- Skilled at climbing walls and hopping short obstacles without breaking stride.(Minor 1)
Thieves skills-
Blades
Wetwork 1- Your familiarity with blades of all shapes and sizes allow you to draw them instantly, attacking in the same fluid movement.
ATTUNEMENT -Your body passively generates an imperceptible field of force in a 10' radius around it, your awareness and control
over this field increasing as your understanding of it grows.
Lvl 1. The field guides movements through according to your will, giving you perfect aim with thrown objects.
Lvl 2. You sense a disturbance in the force. You can sense any movement within 10' of you.
Spells
Force-
1: Empower - Magically augment the force created by your movements, effectively increasing your physical strength
level by one. You can only have one instance of this effect placed on your body at once, or else the unnatural stress it puts on your
body will cause severe injury.
2: Shield - Raise your hand, palm out, to generate a barely visible construct of applied force, circular and 3' in diameter, in the
air inches from your palm. Acts as a suspended shield. It is frozen in place until you stop maintaining it or recast it elsewhere
(is not a summon).
Weapons and Armor
Mage Dagger- A steel-like Miséricorde. Can generate a force construct copy of itself in your other hand. Copy vanishes when it leaves your grip.
Simple Clothing(Black pants with dark green shirt under leather tunic).
Leather boots with cloth padded soles and boot sheathes for daggers.
Arm, wrist, and leg bands with dagger sheathes.
A slightly designed sheathe at the hip(A emblem of the mages guild pressed into the leather) for my Mage Dagger.
A leather belt with numerous horizontal straps.
2 ironwood daggers.
1 bone dagger.
A grappling hook, which the rope extends magically as thrown and collapses easily for hiding. 50ft. length limit. (Minor 2)
Ryze Attunement Oathbreaker
In a closed society where everybody's guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity -Hunter S. Thompson
Theran Lord of Flames Artificer/Smith
You cannot dream yourself into a character; you must hammer and forge yourself one -James Anthony Froude
Orin The Aslanyr Sentinel
All the sounds of this valley run together into one great echo, a song that is sung by all the spirits of this valley. Only a hunter hears it -Chaim Potok
As per our aim discussion, the modified Ryze is approved! This is assuming he's removing the dark spell.
As Trabant noted, he can also take advantage of the buy-a-suit offer that was going on in Varel if he wants (Since Ryze is apparently joining that quest via the 'was there the whole time' method.)
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For other people reading this, I'm willing to have someone appear on Precipice of Normality. Or multiple people, really. They can take advantage of PoN being sorta-out-of-synch with the timeline proper if they'd like. Or not, whichever. PM me/talk in the aim chat.
Although they wouldn't be joining via the 'was there the whole time' method. I'd work something else out. I'd also post on it more often... Currently been spending my available EW time working with people joining, sorry again Udo.
Bah fear not for your lack of PoN updates! More people who get approved, the more quests will happen, and thus the more I will get to play my other characters
so here my fixed character:
Name - Devlin
Race - Elf
Age - 15
Affiliations - Thieves Guild, Mage Society, Oathbreaker
Appearance & Apparel - Elf Boy who wears silver and black clothes with a large black cloak over. The cloak is used to hide his two swords. One sword is silver and the other is black. Has mid length black spiky hair and green eyes. 5' 8" tall and 175 lbs.
Personality & Background - Young boy who was trained in the arts of magic and thievery.Lives in Greevan. He was taken from his highborn parents at a young age and trained with the mage society and thieves guild to become a great weapon in the fight against corruption in the government, but he rejected his pre made destiny and ran away to form his own path. He believes in the duality of life, good and evil, black and white, the truth and lies, etc. He uses this view of duality in his fighting and magic use. He wants to one day separate the truth and lies, so there can be no gray area.
Skills/Weaknesses
Good at tailoring, made his cloak of darkness and had it enchanted it by a former mentor
Eye of Avarice - Ability to sense items with strong magics within your visual range, give off an orange aura.
Has a large amount of agility
TASKMAGERY - A vast and varied school of study, by learning as many spells across multiple arts as possible, you gain a deeper understanding and mastery of the true nature of magic.
> Each spell you learn increases your Taskmage Score by a number equal to that spell's level. Learning spell with the same art AND level as a spell you already know does not increase your score.
Lvl 1. So long as you know any level 1 spell, you can extrapolate your magical knowledge from that and skip other level 1 spells.
Required Score: 3
Lvl 2. The base cost of spell is reduced by 5 gold.
Required Score: 12
Lvl 3. You may combine your level 1 spells with other level 1 spells, creating non-levelable dualmagery spells. Component spells are still known and castable.
Required Score: 24
Lvl 4. For each art you know, you may prism a spell you know to that art once per encounter. Cannot be done more than X+1 times per encounter, where X is your Taskmagery level.
Required Score: 40
Lvl 5. The base cost of spell is reduced by an additional 5 gold. You now have access to any spells sold, despite normal guild restrictions or alike.
Required Score: 60
Lvl 6. You may now combine your level 1 spells with any other spells you know, but can only be done three times per encounter.
Required Score: 84
Lvl 7. You can cast an additional spell each turn if none of the spells cast that turn share the same art.
Required Score: 112
Lvl 8. Once a month you may delve into the magics of a magical item you own, unmaking it but creating a spell based on it. Art and level of this spell vary according to the item.
Required Score: 144
Lvl 9. You may permanently combine three spells you know of any combination of levels and arts into a single powerful spell.
Required Score: 180
Lvl 10. Deep in the Greevan Forest lies a forbidden cave known as The Path of Jhaeros. Only those who have truly mastered the core fundamentals behind a vast array of varying magics may enter, devoid of items, where their resourcefulness and judgment will be tested in a centuries old trial.
Required Score: 230
Weapons
Nyx-Basic 3 foot long one handed all black ironwood sword.
Argent- Basic 3 foot long one handed all silver ironwood sword
Non-Weapon Items
Backpack for carrying items. Currently holds a skin of water, an amulet that can create a burst of sparks one minute after activation every 10 minutes (for starting fires), and two days worth of food. Remaining 30 gold in his wallet.
Cloak of Darkness: Long black cloak that conceal the wearer's identity and any items carried under it, because it is so large. (nonmagically)
Spells
Lvl 1 Mark - By contact you can mark a person's aura, which manifests in a glowing rune on their brow. Allows you to sense their presence. Can only have two people marked at a given time.
Lvl 1 Heel-Will call to heel animals that are already familiar with you (presuming they don't hold a grudge), despite any distractions.
Void- Free Oathbreaker Exclusive Spell - Passive. Creates a pocket dimension you can access at any time, allowing you to seem to store items in, and retrieve items from, thin air. Can only be used with items you are physically holding and requires a extending and retracting of the arm to use. Cannot intentionally be used on living entities.
Lvl 1 Home - You can anchor a part of your spirit to a single location ever. By casting this spell you will reconnect with that bit of your spirit and sense what is going on in that location.
Pets: Gorion named Ciaróg who he feeds a regular diet of jasper and topaz. He was given it by his highborn parents the day he was sent away to train.
Pygmy Hippogriff named Longclaw that he was given on his 14th birthday by the thieves guild (after they stole it). It only responds to his commands and can read body movement to see if someone is an enemy. If longclaw doesn't trust you, Devlin doesn't trust you. Delvin uses it to fly letters around and to hunt small game.
My definite intent here is to create a character that mixes a little bit of each of the three main rpg classes (mage, fighter,rouge) into one, without it being insanely op and ridiculous. the two swords are representative of duality as is his training in magic and thievery. his taskmagery allows him to learn as much as he likes and blend it all together which is something i relate to. his two pets are each supposed to represent something. his gorion is his old high born style life whereas longclaw is his new life as an oathbreaker. His cloak is to show that he wishes to be unseen and dowhat he feels is right without being persecuted for it. the amulet is a metaphor for his ability to cause a revolt against the system. That was pretty much my whole plan of this characters gear.
the two minors are my cloak and gorion. they both have cool magical effects that are pretty useful. also if i need food for my gorion i usually just steal it and put my thieves training to good use.
to sum up how he looks imagine kirito from sword art online+ kirito from alfheim online+ ezio in altairs armor from assasins creed. His cloak is like a mix of the first ones jacket and ezios hood and he looks like the second kirito.
EDIT: Okay, read the comments since the PC repost.
That version of the hippogriff works, assuming its just a great judge of character rather than living enemy-dar, so now we're just dealing with him having a lot of magical stuff.
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That, and I'm still confused as to how exactly the cloak prevents people from telling who he is. That wording sounds more like powerful mind magic than being a shadowy guy.
If he wears it all the time you'd think at least some folk would be able to recognize him even if they have no idea whatsoever what he looks like beneath the shadows. Like, if he walks into a store and buys something, then walks out, then walks back in 5 minutes later without changing his clothes (I.E, still the shadow guy), would the shop owner be able to tell he was the one he sold something to 5 minutes ago? If he wouldn't be able to, the intended effect is way too strong.
But maybe the intent is just that no one dealing with Devlin knows what he looks like or can see what's beneath his cloak due to it shrouding him in darkness. That's still quite strong, although possibly aprovable (and Abyss LSS folk can see through darkness but that's a rare trait setting-wise).
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Now that the Hyppogriff matter has been cleared up, let's go over the whole picture:
The magical Gorion (I am assuming it has the spirit/Storm Gorion powers)is a minor, probably on the weaker side although it gets coolness points.
The Pygmy Hippogriff is a minor. Sufficiently powerful mundane stuff still counts.
The cloak, assuming the less powerful definition, is a minor. Possibly on the stronger side.
The amulet sorta sounds like it would be effective in combat in a pinch? If that's so I'd put it as a weaker minor. If the intent is for it to only be good at fire starting I'd just have the burst take a minute or something, at which point it could slide as a non-minor IMO (any other WMs can chime in to disagree).
I think some kind of small drawback would be needed here. That, or just forgoing / greatly weakening the magic cloak's effect.
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I am familiar with those characters and thus have a pretty good idea of what this guy looks like.
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(You can edit just edit your post btw, and then just post that you've updated your post)
Okay. I'll go with your suggestion on the amulet and make it take a minute to work. Then with the cloak my intent was that no one dealing with Devlin knows what he looks like or can see what's beneath his cloak due to it shrouding him in darkness. People would be able to recognize him as the guy with the cloak, but wouldnt know who he was under it. Maybe ill just forgo the whole magic thing and make it so the cloak is just large and hides his features easily. that sounds like the easiest plan.
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Mechanical Bits:
First, it- ah, both daggers are enchanted with lighttouch. I suppose that counts as two minors! Is this guy going to focus on throwing them at people? If so, that's an interesting focus, I don't think we've had much in the way of dagger throwing [At least, not as a primary attack].
Although if I'm right about the intent:
have one magic dagger and an ability related to being good at throwing things.Actually, although another WM can weigh in on this, I'd say that if you add on a reason for the daggers to be unpawnable having 2x lighttouch daggers and a special ability related to being pretty good at tossing them would be fine.
That said, there is nothing wrong with this PC mechanically and he could be approved as-is if you so desire.
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Layout, punctuation, fluff, etc:
> The "Spells" section partially overlaps his gold amount. I don't think that's intentional.
> Although he has a fine backstory, the actual paragraph itself could benefit from some more punctuation and having the sentences restructured a bit.
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Signature: If you go (url=wwww.whatever.com)Text(/url) with []s instead of ()s you could write some text to serve as a link. For example: A link to this very page!
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What exactly do you mean by the daggers are "light" for him? That they aren't very effective? I expected the throwing knives to be used for any ranged kills, the daggers for close up stealth, and the sword for full out encounters.
This was my response to your PC -
I apologize for not referring to you both by name in my responses.
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Eizen - Collected
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Ah, my bad. Sorry i dont completely understand how abilities/LSS's work, so I just decided to glance over them. Can you just make up the abilities? If so thats pretty cool. If I can get those explained in a little more depth, that'd be awesme.
Custom Minors are stuff like.. actually, I'll go through some of my PCs and list some of their starting minors as an example. I was going to list all of them, then I remembered I'm known to have weird PCs and I probably shouldn't be using myself as standard. Some of my stuff is much.. wordier.. than the average minor as well; I know most minors are more like "A brief ability that notes so-and-so is good at acrobatics" or "this sword can burst into flames" or something.
Edit: Actually, a fair number of minors are "I have a neat-looking steel weapon / pistol / etc". Another note would be that pistols in EW are the really early crappy kind of pistol. Have to load them on the spot and everything.
Edit2: Ah! Found a good minor magic weapon example from one of Bane's guys:
> An 5' ironwood bo staff, pliant but strong. Has a minor beastial enchantment that can coat the tips in spidersilk, making them sticky and more grippy.
^Knowing Bane, I imagine the above was not meant to be a particularly mighty grip.
Edit3: Simple ability example from someone else's PC:
Feral Fleetness - Having had to rely on evading the predators and dangers of the forest made made Diarnan extremely quick on his feet, nimble and agile.
Edit 4: "Starting with less than they could have" is also popular, I suppose. You don't have to have them.
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Anyway, examples from my PCs:
Worth of Men – Whenever a summon controlled by Yack kills a sentient being they breath deep of its essence like one sniffing the fine scent of proper stew. The essence of the deceased fuels the summon, allowing it to function without being maintained by Yack for a number of posts relative to the strength of the soul. When the soul escapes it releases an audible sigh that signals either the dispelling of the summon or Yack's need to fold it into his power.
Warm Smile of the Loving Masters – Whenever Yack personally kills a sentient being the victim erupts in a strangely colored fire that only burns its body and the flesh of the victim's allies/loved ones.
Pointy Side Out- You might wonder how a child who spent most of her life without opposable thumbs would know how to wield a weapon at all, much less be good with one. Fortunately, the magical explosion that turned Arl into a human also gave her a natural talent for fighting with stuff. Swords, spears, fish, sacks of potatoes - you name it, Arl can fight with it.
> Arl is considered to be reasonably proficient with any weapon she fights with.
Arl also started with a sapient parrot that could throw his voice (sapient animals cannot be PCs and are not at all natural nor common (magical experiments and other odd stuff), but they can be pets), below-average strength (Drawback), an ability that made her a bit better reducing the force of blows by moving with them, and a fluff non-ability.
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LSSs are not custom, although some LSSs (Spirit Guide and such) are tailored to the PC. There have been.. I dunno.. maybe 1-2 PCs that did not start with LSSs, but whatever they had instead was not a custom LSS.
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Eizen - Collected
Yack - Walking
Miko Wydberg
Tanya
Although it might be helpful to note if the ability is magical or not there certainty isn't anything wrong with it (In fact, being able to actually change from iron to a black steel would be okay).
Nervada - 98% fat free, high in fiber.
Eizen - Collected
Yack - Walking
Miko Wydberg
Tanya
Iron/Steel are fairly similar, so it's just a difference in modifier (3 V 4).
That has the following effects:
> A Steel weapon has one more enchantment slot (Besides any initial ability, such a weapon can have up to 4 enchantments added to it later, such as the various crystal imbues and such). This is the main difference.
> A Steel weapon is a little harder to break / break stuff with. Magic items slowly repair themselves*, and stuff getting broken almost never happens anyway, so this is a very minor benefit.
> A Steel weapon can be pawned for a little more gold. Except items with unusual base abilities usually aren't pawnable anyway (inter-PC trading/selling is always an option, of course).
In summation, no, it's not really that big of a difference. Iron's just been the typical cut-off between random mundane starting gear and minors. Hence my commenting that the blade could just change metal type between iron and steel (maybe always counting as mod 4 for enchantments) freely without that being an issue at all.
*Unless they are single use / usable X times. Generally, if an item must be destroyed to be used or destroys itself as part of being used you can assume it doesn't repair itself unless noted otherwise. It's pretty obvious when this is the case.
Nervada - 98% fat free, high in fiber.
Eizen - Collected
Yack - Walking
Miko Wydberg
Tanya
Okay I'll have it so it can turn back and forth then. Thanks.
Also, I don't think anyone sent you information regarding the aim OOC chat? You might not be interested, but I'll send you the information now.
Nervada - 98% fat free, high in fiber.
Eizen - Collected
Yack - Walking
Miko Wydberg
Tanya
Name - Devlin
Race - Elf
Age - 15
Affiliations - Thieves Guild, Mage Society, Oathbreaker
Appearance & Apparel - Elf Boy who wears silver and black clothes with a large black cloak over. The cloak is used to hide his two swords. One sword is silver and the other is black. Has mid length black spiky hair and green eyes. 5' 8" tall and 175 lbs.
Personality & Background - Young boy who was trained in the arts of magic and thievery.Lives in Greevan. He was taken from his highborn parents at a young age and trained with the mage society and thieves guild to become a great weapon in the fight against corruption in the government, but he rejected his premade destinyy and ran away to form his own path. He believes in the duality of life, good and evil, black and white, the truth and lies, etc. He uses this view of duality in his fighting and magic use. He wants to one day separate the truth and lies, so there can be no gray area.
Skills/Weaknesses
Good at tailoring, made his cloak of darkness and had it enchanted it by a former mentor
Eye of Avarice - Ability to sense items with strong magics within your visual range, give off an orange aura.
Has a large amount of agility
TASKMAGERY - A vast and varied school of study, by learning as many spells across multiple arts as possible, you gain a deeper understanding and mastery of the true nature of magic.
> Each spell you learn increases your Taskmage Score by a number equal to that spell's level. Learning spell with the same art AND level as a spell you already know does not increase your score.
Lvl 1. So long as you know any level 1 spell, you can extrapolate your magical knowedge from that and skip other level 1 spells.
Required Score: 3
Lvl 2. The base cost of spell is reduced by 5 gold.
Required Score: 12
Lvl 3. You may combine your level 1 spells with other level 1 spells, creating non-levelable dualmagery spells. Component spells are still known and castable.
Required Score: 24
Lvl 4. For each art you know, you may prism a spell you know to that art once per encounter. Cannot be done more than X+1 times per encounter, where X is your Taskmagery level.
Required Score: 40
Lvl 5. The base cost of spell is reduced by an additional 5 gold. You now have access to any spells sold, despite normal guild restrictions or alike.
Required Score: 60
Lvl 6. You may now combine your level 1 spells with any other spells you know, but can only be done three times per encounter.
Required Score: 84
Lvl 7. You can cast an additional spell each turn if none of the spells cast that turn share the same art.
Required Score: 112
Lvl 8. Once a month you may delve into the magics of a magical item you own, unmaking it but creating a spell based on it. Art and level of this spell vary according to the item.
Required Score: 144
Lvl 9. You may permanently combine three spells you know of any combination of levels and arts into a single powerful spell.
Required Score: 180
Lvl 10. Deep in the Greevan Forest lies a forbidden cave known as The Path of Jhaeros. Only those who have truly mastered the core fundamentals behind a vast array of varying magics may enter, devoid of items, where their resourcefulness and judgment will be tested in a centuries old trial.
Required Score: 230
Weapons
Nyx-Basic 3 foot long one handed all black sword.
Argent- Basic 3 foot long one handed all silver sword
Non-Weapon Items
Backpack for carrying items. Currently holds a skin of water, an amulet that can start a small fire, and two days worth of food. Remaining 30 dollars in his wallet.
Cloak of Darkness: Long black cloak that conceal the wearers identity and any items carried under it.
Spells
Lvl 1 Mark - By contact you can mark a person's aura, which manifests in a glowing rune on their brow. Allows you to sense their presence. Can only have two people marked at a given time.
Lvl 1 Heel-Will call to heel animals that are already familiar with you (presuming they don't hold a grudge), despite any distractions.
Void- Free Oathbreaker Exclusive Spell - Passive. Creates a pocket dimension you can access at any time, allowing you to seem to store items in, and retrieve items from, thin air. Can only be used with items you are physically holding and requires a extending and retracting of the arm to use. Cannot intentionally be used on living entities.
Lvl 1 Home - You can anchor a part of your spirit to a single location ever. By casting this spell you will reconnect with that bit of your spirit and sense what is going on in that location.
Pets: Gorion named Ciaróg who he feeds a regular diet of jasper and topaz. He found him while running away from the mage society. He's had him ever since.
Hypogriff named Longclaw that he was given on his 14th birthday by the thieves guild (after they stole it). It only responds to his commands and can read body movement to see if someone is an enemy. If longclaw doesn't trust you, Devlin doesn't trust you.
Again, welcome!
Acelin's Characters (since her sig won't work).
Let's see..
> What are the swords made of? Given that he's a mage, I'd go with black ironwood and either actual silver (which is mod 2 in EW) or just go with a silver ironwood. (Nothing special about the color besides looking cool). Mage's have issues with a lot of the higher-mod metals (like iron).
> Dollars should be gold.
Now the other stuff, individually:
Cloak of Darkness: So, it shrouds the wearer's features and such in darkness? If that's what it does it sounds fine. It can indeed be interpreted many ways, some vastly stronger than others.
Gorion: Is this a dual-art Gorion? (Topaz-Spirit)? Kinda rare but I could see this being okay.
Hypogriff: Flying mount is an issue. Even if it couldn't serve as a flying mount for some reason, it's still more powerful than a single minor. If this was a very young or maybe pygmy Hypogriff that wasn't big enough to carry more than a small child that could be okay as a minor maybe, I'm going to look for a second opinion on this. I'm positive flying mount at start isn't aprovable in any case.
Amulet that starts fires: Like, it creates a spark? How do you imagine this working? Probably okay.
Overall: Fluff: I like this guy. Mechanically: Most of his stuff is individually okay, but he has a lot going on. Depending on the specifics, I could see... Actually, I'd like to work out whatever you want to do about the Hypogriff before suggesting what to do about anything else. And get clarifications on the intent of some of the other stuff.
Nervada - 98% fat free, high in fiber.
Eizen - Collected
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Tanya
Race - Human
Age - 19
Affiliations - Theives Guild and Fraternity of Mages(Oathbreaker)
Appearance & Apparel - Theran wears mostly simple clothing, with nothing truly setting him apart, besides the overall
dark color combinations of the clothes. He stands at five foot, seven inches, with dark brown hair and gray eyes.
Personality & Background - Theran was born to a farming family, miles away from any major city. It was when he was
seven that he ran from home, hiding on a passing caravan headed to the next city over. He lived as an urchin for
years until coming to the theives guild. After scraping together a few more coins, he also entered into the mages
society, hoping to further his abilities. Resides in Elexia, bouncing between Pender's and inns..
Skills and Abilities
Eye of Avarice - Ability to sense items with strong magicswithin your visual range, give off an orange aura.
Void - Free Oathbreaker Exclusive Spell - Passive. Creates a pocket dimension you can access at any time, allowing
you to seem to store items in, and retrieve items from, thin air. Can only be used with items you are physically holding
and requires a extending and retracting of the arm to use. Cannot intentionally be used on living entities.
Free Runner- Skilled at climbing walls and hopping short obstacles without breaking stride.(Minor 1)
Thieves skills-
Blades
Wetwork 1- Your familiarity with blades of all shapes and sizes allow you to draw them instantly, attacking in the same fluid movement.
ATTUNEMENT -Your body passively generates an imperceptible field of force in a 10' radius around it, your awareness and control
over this field increasing as your understanding of it grows.
Lvl 1. The field guides movements through according to your will, giving you perfect aim with thrown objects.
Lvl 2. You sense a disturbance in the force. You can sense any movement within 10' of you.
Spells
Force-
1: Empower - Magically augment the force created by your movements, effectively increasing your physical strength
level by one. You can only have one instance of this effect placed on your body at once, or else the unnatural stress it puts on your
body will cause severe injury.
2: Shield - Raise your hand, palm out, to generate a barely visible construct of applied force, circular and 3' in diameter, in the
air inches from your palm. Acts as a suspended shield. It is frozen in place until you stop maintaining it or recast it elsewhere
(is not a summon).
Weapons and Armor
Mage Dagger- A steel-like Miséricorde. Can generate a force construct copy of itself in your other hand. Copy vanishes when it leaves your grip.
Simple Clothing(Black pants with dark green shirt under leather tunic).
Leather boots with cloth padded soles and boot sheathes for daggers.
Arm, wrist, and leg bands with dagger sheathes.
A slightly designed sheathe at the hip(A emblem of the mages guild pressed into the leather) for my Mage Dagger.
A leather belt with numerous horizontal straps.
2 ironwood daggers.
1 bone dagger.
A grappling hook, which the rope extends magically as thrown and collapses easily for hiding. 50ft. length limit. (Minor 2)
Miscellany
Currency
85gp
In a closed society where everybody's guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity -Hunter S. Thompson
Theran Lord of Flames Artificer/Smith
You cannot dream yourself into a character; you must hammer and forge yourself one -James Anthony Froude
Orin The Aslanyr Sentinel
All the sounds of this valley run together into one great echo, a song that is sung by all the spirits of this valley. Only a hunter hears it -Chaim Potok
As Trabant noted, he can also take advantage of the buy-a-suit offer that was going on in Varel if he wants (Since Ryze is apparently joining that quest via the 'was there the whole time' method.)
------
For other people reading this, I'm willing to have someone appear on Precipice of Normality. Or multiple people, really. They can take advantage of PoN being sorta-out-of-synch with the timeline proper if they'd like. Or not, whichever. PM me/talk in the aim chat.
Although they wouldn't be joining via the 'was there the whole time' method. I'd work something else out. I'd also post on it more often... Currently been spending my available EW time working with people joining, sorry again Udo.
Nervada - 98% fat free, high in fiber.
Eizen - Collected
Yack - Walking
Miko Wydberg
Tanya
Acelin's Characters (since her sig won't work).
Name - Devlin
Race - Elf
Age - 15
Affiliations - Thieves Guild, Mage Society, Oathbreaker
Appearance & Apparel - Elf Boy who wears silver and black clothes with a large black cloak over. The cloak is used to hide his two swords. One sword is silver and the other is black. Has mid length black spiky hair and green eyes. 5' 8" tall and 175 lbs.
Personality & Background - Young boy who was trained in the arts of magic and thievery.Lives in Greevan. He was taken from his highborn parents at a young age and trained with the mage society and thieves guild to become a great weapon in the fight against corruption in the government, but he rejected his pre made destiny and ran away to form his own path. He believes in the duality of life, good and evil, black and white, the truth and lies, etc. He uses this view of duality in his fighting and magic use. He wants to one day separate the truth and lies, so there can be no gray area.
Skills/Weaknesses
Good at tailoring, made his cloak of darkness and had it enchanted it by a former mentor
Eye of Avarice - Ability to sense items with strong magics within your visual range, give off an orange aura.
Has a large amount of agility
TASKMAGERY - A vast and varied school of study, by learning as many spells across multiple arts as possible, you gain a deeper understanding and mastery of the true nature of magic.
> Each spell you learn increases your Taskmage Score by a number equal to that spell's level. Learning spell with the same art AND level as a spell you already know does not increase your score.
Lvl 1. So long as you know any level 1 spell, you can extrapolate your magical knowledge from that and skip other level 1 spells.
Required Score: 3
Lvl 2. The base cost of spell is reduced by 5 gold.
Required Score: 12
Lvl 3. You may combine your level 1 spells with other level 1 spells, creating non-levelable dualmagery spells. Component spells are still known and castable.
Required Score: 24
Lvl 4. For each art you know, you may prism a spell you know to that art once per encounter. Cannot be done more than X+1 times per encounter, where X is your Taskmagery level.
Required Score: 40
Lvl 5. The base cost of spell is reduced by an additional 5 gold. You now have access to any spells sold, despite normal guild restrictions or alike.
Required Score: 60
Lvl 6. You may now combine your level 1 spells with any other spells you know, but can only be done three times per encounter.
Required Score: 84
Lvl 7. You can cast an additional spell each turn if none of the spells cast that turn share the same art.
Required Score: 112
Lvl 8. Once a month you may delve into the magics of a magical item you own, unmaking it but creating a spell based on it. Art and level of this spell vary according to the item.
Required Score: 144
Lvl 9. You may permanently combine three spells you know of any combination of levels and arts into a single powerful spell.
Required Score: 180
Lvl 10. Deep in the Greevan Forest lies a forbidden cave known as The Path of Jhaeros. Only those who have truly mastered the core fundamentals behind a vast array of varying magics may enter, devoid of items, where their resourcefulness and judgment will be tested in a centuries old trial.
Required Score: 230
Weapons
Nyx-Basic 3 foot long one handed all black ironwood sword.
Argent- Basic 3 foot long one handed all silver ironwood sword
Non-Weapon Items
Backpack for carrying items. Currently holds a skin of water, an amulet that can create a burst of sparks one minute after activation every 10 minutes (for starting fires), and two days worth of food. Remaining 30 gold in his wallet.
Cloak of Darkness: Long black cloak that conceal the wearer's identity and any items carried under it, because it is so large. (nonmagically)
Spells
Lvl 1 Mark - By contact you can mark a person's aura, which manifests in a glowing rune on their brow. Allows you to sense their presence. Can only have two people marked at a given time.
Lvl 1 Heel-Will call to heel animals that are already familiar with you (presuming they don't hold a grudge), despite any distractions.
Void- Free Oathbreaker Exclusive Spell - Passive. Creates a pocket dimension you can access at any time, allowing you to seem to store items in, and retrieve items from, thin air. Can only be used with items you are physically holding and requires a extending and retracting of the arm to use. Cannot intentionally be used on living entities.
Lvl 1 Home - You can anchor a part of your spirit to a single location ever. By casting this spell you will reconnect with that bit of your spirit and sense what is going on in that location.
Pets: Gorion named Ciaróg who he feeds a regular diet of jasper and topaz. He was given it by his highborn parents the day he was sent away to train.
Pygmy Hippogriff named Longclaw that he was given on his 14th birthday by the thieves guild (after they stole it). It only responds to his commands and can read body movement to see if someone is an enemy. If longclaw doesn't trust you, Devlin doesn't trust you. Delvin uses it to fly letters around and to hunt small game.
That version of the hippogriff works, assuming its just a great judge of character rather than living enemy-dar, so now we're just dealing with him having a lot of magical stuff.
___
That, and I'm still confused as to how exactly the cloak prevents people from telling who he is. That wording sounds more like powerful mind magic than being a shadowy guy.
If he wears it all the time you'd think at least some folk would be able to recognize him even if they have no idea whatsoever what he looks like beneath the shadows. Like, if he walks into a store and buys something, then walks out, then walks back in 5 minutes later without changing his clothes (I.E, still the shadow guy), would the shop owner be able to tell he was the one he sold something to 5 minutes ago? If he wouldn't be able to, the intended effect is way too strong.
But maybe the intent is just that no one dealing with Devlin knows what he looks like or can see what's beneath his cloak due to it shrouding him in darkness. That's still quite strong, although possibly aprovable (and Abyss LSS folk can see through darkness but that's a rare trait setting-wise).
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Now that the Hyppogriff matter has been cleared up, let's go over the whole picture:
The magical Gorion (I am assuming it has the spirit/Storm Gorion powers)is a minor, probably on the weaker side although it gets coolness points.
The Pygmy Hippogriff is a minor. Sufficiently powerful mundane stuff still counts.
The cloak, assuming the less powerful definition, is a minor. Possibly on the stronger side.
The amulet sorta sounds like it would be effective in combat in a pinch? If that's so I'd put it as a weaker minor. If the intent is for it to only be good at fire starting I'd just have the burst take a minute or something, at which point it could slide as a non-minor IMO (any other WMs can chime in to disagree).
I think some kind of small drawback would be needed here. That, or just forgoing / greatly weakening the magic cloak's effect.
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I am familiar with those characters and thus have a pretty good idea of what this guy looks like.
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(You can edit just edit your post btw, and then just post that you've updated your post)
Nervada - 98% fat free, high in fiber.
Eizen - Collected
Yack - Walking
Miko Wydberg
Tanya
That does sound like the easiest plan! It also gets around the few people that can see through darkness. If you make those changes he's approved.
Nervada - 98% fat free, high in fiber.
Eizen - Collected
Yack - Walking
Miko Wydberg
Tanya