I have observed during my years of life that there exists a double standard between men and women, a double standard that has two parts.
First, since men are, on average, physically stronger than women (please note that I said "on average" and not "always"), if a man is abusive, either physically or verbally, toward a woman, the situation shall almost always be treated very seriously and have a negative tone. People shall typically display abhorrence toward the man and offer assistance to the woman. However, if a woman is abusive toward a man, the situation may be treated seriously, or it may be treated as if it is humorous, and some people may even laugh at such a situation (in particular, this seems to occur frequently in Japanese animation and manga, with notable examples being the behavior of Akane Tendo toward Ranma Saotomoe, Kagome toward Inuyasha, or Chi-Chi toward Goku).
The second part of the double standard is that men are (supposedly) always eager for sexual intercourse, and thus, while most people can imagine that a man would force a woman into engaging in sexual intercourse against her will, those same people would often find it to be inconceivable that a women could force a man into engaging in sexual intercourse. Think of all the incidents in which young (in their early-to-mid-20's and 30's) female teachers have engaged in sexual intercourse with their adolescent male students, and how most people who comment about such incidents do not regard those incidents as being very serious, while if the sexes of the teachers and students were reversed, the reactions would likely be very different.
Since I am male, this double standard bothers me, since it makes the implication that men are naturally aggressive and violent but also willing to endure poor treatment from women because of their instincts and desires.
Has anyone else here ever encountered this double standard, and if you have, how have you dealt with it? Thankfully, I myself have never encountered it, but, if I did, I would attempt to explain in a rational manner why it is illogical and irrational. What can everyone else say on this subject?
Has anyone else here ever encountered this double standard, and if you have, how have you dealt with it? Thankfully, I myself have never encountered it, but, if I did, I would attempt to explain in a rational manner why it is illogical and irrational. What can everyone else say on this subject?
Devil's advocate: why do you think this double standard is "illogical and irrational?"
Like you said, men are typically stronger and larger than women. It's also well-documented the testosterone tends to increase sex drive and aggression levels. I'm sure we can also find some statistics that the majority of rapes and assaults are committed by men.
So if the double standard is "it's more likely that a male will commit violence or sexual assault than a female," this is probably a statistically accurate statement.
First, since men are, on average, physically stronger than women (please note that I said "on average" and not "always"), if a man is abusive, either physically or verbally, toward a woman, the situation shall almost always be treated very seriously and have a negative tone. People shall typically display abhorrence toward the man and offer assistance to the woman.
"Shall". You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
...but, if I did, I would attempt to explain in a rational manner why it is illogical and irrational.
In most everyday-life situations, the Mr. Spock response is more likely to escalate a conflict than resolve it. People hate it when Mr. Spock tells them they're wrong. You want to speak and act like a human being from the planet Earth. Be colloquial and succinct. Show emotion; invoke sympathy. Don't use the word "illogical", ever.
Like you said, men are typically stronger and larger than women. It's also well-documented the testosterone tends to increase sex drive and aggression levels. I'm sure we can also find some statistics that the majority of rapes and assaults are committed by men.
It's about four to one, according to the National Crime Victimization Survey.
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Vive, vale. Siquid novisti rectius istis,
candidus inperti; si nil, his utere mecum.
People usually hold assumptions because they are unable/unwilling to learn about a subject. If it's something you consider minor then I think it's fair to ignore it or discuss it in a relaxed manner.
I'd wager you're correct that some issues need to be better understood and managed by society, such as female-on-male violence (and domestic violence) in particular and human sexuality. Assumptions can lead to disappointment or vindication, neither of which really help us progress much at all.
Another thing I'd like to point out is that these beliefs can be harmful to women also, by making female-on-male rape inconsequential or a joke it ignores the real issue that these women are predators, could be subject to rehabilitation (if that's something you support) and that the impact they have on the children the prey upon is serious.
As towards sex drive, you'd be surprised how often I've heard women complain about their partner's lack of interest; It is often construed that either "something is wrong" with the male if he refuses sex or the female assumes that something is wrong with herself.
I'd wager that teaching people the universal harm of these types of beliefs would be a better way to prevent them than arguing the harm they cause men specifically; Men are the more powerful group and society tends to consider the injustices suffered by powerful groups as either deserved or non-important.
...but, if I did, I would attempt to explain in a rational manner why it is illogical and irrational.
In most everyday-life situations, the Mr. Spock response is more likely to escalate a conflict than resolve it. People hate it when Mr. Spock tells them they're wrong. You want to speak and act like a human being from the planet Earth. Be colloquial and succinct. Show emotion; invoke sympathy. Don't use the word "illogical", ever.
I agree this is something you never want to do. Last conversation I had with a close female friend, I called her position unreasonable. She then went onto flesh out a parade of horribles in her mind that I was
1. Not supporting her.
2. Wasn't on her side.
3. Didn't care for her.
4. Didn't care about her.
5. Was a horrible friend because of the above.
6. Would never come to me again for anything.
7. Felt betrayed because of the above.
I kid you not. All that because I told her her position was unreasonable. Real life isn't debate. Don't treat it like one.
Devil's advocate: why do you think this double standard is "illogical and irrational?"
Like you said, men are typically stronger and larger than women. It's also well-documented the testosterone tends to increase sex drive and aggression levels. I'm sure we can also find some statistics that the majority of rapes and assaults are committed by men.
So if the double standard is "it's more likely that a male will commit violence or sexual assault than a female," this is probably a statistically accurate statement.
Well, devil's advocate the devil's advocate: haven't rapes and certain violent crimes like domestic abuse historically been defined as man-on-woman crimes? As in, by definition impossible for a victim to be male?
I'm willing to bet that the male vs. female being more likely thing still skews male, but something to think about.
Has anyone else here ever encountered this double standard, and if you have, how have you dealt with it? Thankfully, I myself have never encountered it, but, if I did, I would attempt to explain in a rational manner why it is illogical and irrational. What can everyone else say on this subject?
Devil's advocate: why do you think this double standard is "illogical and irrational?"
Like you said, men are typically stronger and larger than women. It's also well-documented the testosterone tends to increase sex drive and aggression levels. I'm sure we can also find some statistics that the majority of rapes and assaults are committed by men.
So if the double standard is "it's more likely that a male will commit violence or sexual assault than a female," this is probably a statistically accurate statement.
Actually it's been proven that women have higher sex drives then men.
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Oath of the Gatewatch; the set that caused the competitive community to freak out over Basic Lands.
Has anyone else here ever encountered this double standard, and if you have, how have you dealt with it? Thankfully, I myself have never encountered it, but, if I did, I would attempt to explain in a rational manner why it is illogical and irrational. What can everyone else say on this subject?
Devil's advocate: why do you think this double standard is "illogical and irrational?"
Like you said, men are typically stronger and larger than women. It's also well-documented the testosterone tends to increase sex drive and aggression levels. I'm sure we can also find some statistics that the majority of rapes and assaults are committed by men.
So if the double standard is "it's more likely that a male will commit violence or sexual assault than a female," this is probably a statistically accurate statement.
Actually it's been proven that women have higher sex drives then men.
"Sex drive" and "propensity to rape" are not the same thing.
Has anyone else here ever encountered this double standard, and if you have, how have you dealt with it? Thankfully, I myself have never encountered it, but, if I did, I would attempt to explain in a rational manner why it is illogical and irrational. What can everyone else say on this subject?
Devil's advocate: why do you think this double standard is "illogical and irrational?"
Like you said, men are typically stronger and larger than women. It's also well-documented the testosterone tends to increase sex drive and aggression levels. I'm sure we can also find some statistics that the majority of rapes and assaults are committed by men.
So if the double standard is "it's more likely that a male will commit violence or sexual assault than a female," this is probably a statistically accurate statement.
Actually it's been proven that women have higher sex drives then men.
"Sex drive" and "propensity to rape" are not the same thing.
Yes, but your point was that Testosterone leads to increase sex drive and aggression (No argument there). Women tend to have higher sex drives, debunking that point, which was all i was trying to say
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Oath of the Gatewatch; the set that caused the competitive community to freak out over Basic Lands.
B) Which is why I said in the other post "Increased ~ and aggression (No argument there).
So what's your point then?[/quote]
My point was, despite the stereotypes, women tend to have higher sexual drives then men. However, There is no argument that men are usually the ones with higher aggression levels.
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Oath of the Gatewatch; the set that caused the competitive community to freak out over Basic Lands.
Must be a fun guy at parties; "So yesterday something happened" "WHY DON'T YOU PROVE IT!"
As a general rule in debates, if you make a positive claim, particularly one that is relevant to the discussion at hand you are expected to be able to convincingly support your claim. In this case, as the apparent understanding of everyone else in the thread was that men have stronger sex drives, you can't simply say the opposite and not provide evidence. You're in a debate, so people aren't generally going to just take your word at face value.
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"Proving god exists isn't hard. Proving god is God is the tricky part" - Roommate
Women for a long time fought for many decades to be taken seriously about accusations for abuse and rape. Granted there are zealots who take things too far, the whole culture of rape thing is trite annoying but it doesn't help whenever some video games, like Duke Nukem Forever, that do have women being raped in it that helps to perpetuate a certain image. Feminism is a lot like certain strains of victimhood ideology and religions, that it is built on the pretext of people who were/are legitimately and unfairly treated and then building out a world view on that to analyze everything. Which fundamentally goes back to Marxism and the versus system, while it can and is useful that sort of analysis requires a lot of different analytical tools to suss out the best analysis.
With that said, yes men have legitimate issues and society has not caught onto the concept of grooming with a position in authority for women abusing a young man or just plain verbal or physical abuse for a man in general. Then there's my personal favorite, men who taught not to hit women and women who are slap happy. Typically these are teenagers or young 20 somethings, but at some point you see attitude. That is the singular largest pet peeve I have with some people who think slapping is a woman's sport. It's not, you don't hit people except in specific circumstances.
I feel the change in abuse literature over the years has helped to curb the outlier effects and unintended consequences such as "women can slap/hit men and get away with it" by taking the unisex approach. It takes time to deprogramme stupid out of the system but it's working its way. Feminism is starting to realize that it has to come out of the ivory tower and actually have people "buy into the argument." I see that over time that feminism will be forced to have more talk about male issues into the discussions about gender. Which is much healthier than the current position, and provided some competing ideologies that take the best of feminism and use a slightly different framework to discuss topics in a more open fashion.
The other aspect, is for parents and so forth to talk about concepts such as a "man whore" or "being irresponsible puts everyone at risk in your future sex life."
1. Not supporting her.
2. Wasn't on her side.
3. Didn't care for her.
4. Didn't care about her.
5. Was a horrible friend because of the above.
6. Would never come to me again for anything.
7. Felt betrayed because of the above.
I kid you not. All that because I told her her position was unreasonable. Real life isn't debate. Don't treat it like one.
It doesn't matter what you say, it's what they hear. Which is why I tend to tell people who are close to me to understand whenever they want my opinion to expect a sharp analysis, which is why I tend to ask. "Are you looking for someone to listen to you or to give you a suggestion/discussion?" Most people will tell you what they want if they have a healthy emotional life. Eventually you learn their mood and tone that they take and the kind of relationship you establish with them. The biggest challenge, too, is that sometimes people want the "Dr. Phil" approach to advice, sometimes they want Oprah and you to "believe," other times they want both. It's normally just being blunt with what they want and then giving them what they emotionally need at the time.
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Life is a beautiful engineer, yet a brutal scientist.
Men and women are significantly different, seems like it would be pointless, harmful even, to ignore those differences when making decisions regarding them.
I am not certain if this is entirely relevant to this thread, but I certainly would never tolerate any form of abuse from a woman, and I also have never attempted to force a woman into engaging in sexual intercourse with me. Conversely, I regard myself as being a very egalitarian person, so I would not have any reservations about using physical force against a woman if I felt that doing so was necessary (i.e., if my life or the wellbeing of someone who was close to me was being threatened), but that does not mean that I, myself, am abusive or violent, since I still treat women (and everyone with whom I interact) with respect and politeness. Does that seem reasonable to everyone here?
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“Those who would trade their freedoms for security will have neither.”-Benjamin Franklin
“When the people fear the government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty.”-Thomas Jefferson
“A vote is like a rifle; its usefulness depends upon the character of its user.”-Theodore Roosevelt
“Patriotism means to stand by one's country; it does not mean to stand by one's president.”-Theodore Roosevelt
DDJ, if you're fishing for praise, what you've said is about on the level of "I poop in the toilet and not on the floor." We don't hand out medals for following the basic standards of life in civilized society. And frankly, we tend to see people who spontaneously proclaim that they've never raped anyone as... creepy. It should go without saying.
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Vive, vale. Siquid novisti rectius istis,
candidus inperti; si nil, his utere mecum.
I am not certain if this is entirely relevant to this thread, but I certainly would never tolerate any form of abuse from a woman, and I also have never attempted to force a woman into engaging in sexual intercourse with me. Conversely, I regard myself as being a very egalitarian person, so I would not have any reservations about using physical force against a woman if I felt that doing so was necessary (i.e., if my life or the wellbeing of someone who was close to me was being threatened), but that does not mean that I, myself, am abusive or violent, since I still treat women (and everyone with whom I interact) with respect and politeness. Does that seem reasonable to everyone here?
1. As BS mentioned, saying "I wouldn't rape anyone and I treat everyone with respect" is pretty unremarkable. Society expects that as a default baseline.
2. Your personal behaviors are surely irrelevant, right? It's like asking "why are there so many security cameras and anti-theft devices in stores? I would never rob a store." Well great, most people wouldn't. But some small fraction of people would, so stores need to prepare for that possibility.
I am not certain if this is entirely relevant to this thread, but I certainly would never tolerate any form of abuse from a woman, and I also have never attempted to force a woman into engaging in sexual intercourse with me. Conversely, I regard myself as being a very egalitarian person, so I would not have any reservations about using physical force against a woman if I felt that doing so was necessary (i.e., if my life or the wellbeing of someone who was close to me was being threatened), but that does not mean that I, myself, am abusive or violent, since I still treat women (and everyone with whom I interact) with respect and politeness. Does that seem reasonable to everyone here?
Based on this thread, and some others you've started, it seems like you may be one of those people who is really looking for reasons to be offended. Being bothered by double-standards that don't seem to trouble others. Noticing that people seem to frequently disrespect you. I don't mean to offend...but maybe the problem is YOU. What are you doing differently? Why are you in a mental place where these things bother you so much? Just guessing here (gotta love internet psych but I'll bet that if you can become happier with yourself, with your life, you'll find that you aren't getting hung up on stuff like this anymore. I've known a few people that exhibit similar behaviors, and that unhappiness with themselves seems to be at the root of their problems too.
Women for a long time fought for many decades to be taken seriously about accusations for abuse and rape.
And men still aren't.
See this is the problematic thing I find about all of these arguments regarding "rape culture." I've yet to read one that accentuates how rape is a crime that is committed against both genders. And I'm not talking about the "violence against women also harms men" arguments, I'm talking about pointing out that men who are raped by women actually have it worse in our culture.
Also, pointing out that they actually exist.
I just find the whole thing odd. If people are campaigning for rape awareness, you really would think that the number of men who get raped and their treatment by society would be a subject of discussion, as opposed to the focal point being exclusively women.
Women for a long time fought for many decades to be taken seriously about accusations for abuse and rape.
And men still aren't.
See this is the problematic thing I find about all of these arguments regarding "rape culture." I've yet to read one that accentuates how rape is a crime that is committed against both genders. And I'm not talking about the "violence against women also harms men" arguments, I'm talking about pointing out that men who are raped by women actually have it worse in our culture.
Also, pointing out that they actually exist.
I just find the whole thing odd. If people are campaigning for rape awareness, you really would think that the number of men who get raped and their treatment by society would be a subject of discussion, as opposed to the focal point being exclusively women.
Woman teacher with young male student, having underaged sex is statutory rape. The typical happenstance is that the woman gets less jail time than their male counterparts. That's one instance of rape, but also that these young men tend to not be taken seriously by people as thinking that they're "getting lucky" and so forth. And in some of these relationships there is evidence of grooming and other forms of psychological manipulation and abuse.
There are also cases of woman on young female pedophilia cases, especially involving teenagers. They're rare, but they also occur and cause shame and the same sort of "it's our little secret" sort of thing. This is also not talked about very often either.
There are also male on male rape, there is date rape among males. They're rarer, because most homosexuals are only 10% of the population, but also a very minor fraction of those even consider even doing anything with date rape.
Women sexually assaulting other men, hazing instances with anal penetration with a broom handle, and other such things do occur. They are rarer than statutory rape cases, which is more of a legal scholar and a legislative problem in trying to link punishments to establish equality among similar crimes. I don't expect "Man Rape Awareness Week," but there's got to be that discussion to young person "Don't be stupid and leave your drink alone. Neither, especially in the difference in punishment for women teachers vs men teachers when dealing with statutory rape, where one is "mentally sick" and the other is a feral predator. Truth is, the person is probably both mentally sick and a predator. And that's where justice needs to begin, what is the punishment but also the treatment to ensure that people who commit such crimes are fixed of their demons.
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Life is a beautiful engineer, yet a brutal scientist.
While I don't agree with everything Moxon writes I think he makes some good arguments here.
FrostDragon4-You have frequently mentioned the "oppression of women", I would argue that the whole concept of the oppression of women as it exists in academia now is BS. Informed fundamentally by the same logical fallacies that underpin marxism. That who (defined by demographics here) holds leadership positions trumps how power is actually used or who has control over their lives.
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As humans, we have a tendency to cling to ideologies. Any positive set of beliefs can quickly turn malevolent once treated as ideology and not an honest intellectual or experiential pursuit of greater truth. Ideology does in entire economic systems and countries, causes religions to massacre thousands, turns human rights movements into authoritarian sects and makes fools out of humanity’s most brilliant minds. Einstein famously wasted the second half of his career trying to calculate a cosmological constant that didn’t exist because “God doesn’t play dice.”
See this is the problematic thing I find about all of these arguments regarding "rape culture." I've yet to read one that accentuates how rape is a crime that is committed against both genders. And I'm not talking about the "violence against women also harms men" arguments, I'm talking about pointing out that men who are raped by women actually have it worse in our culture.
Also, pointing out that they actually exist.
I just find the whole thing odd. If people are campaigning for rape awareness, you really would think that the number of men who get raped and their treatment by society would be a subject of discussion, as opposed to the focal point being exclusively women.
Of course rape is a crime committed against both genders. That's not the point.
Only one gender is taught that coercing the other to have sex by any means is considered sporting and cool. Only one gender has major pop cultural, religious, and political figures who have admitted to (or continue openly!) to brutalize individuals of the other gender. And only one gender commits 80%+ of these crimes.
Of course we need to fix the problem of female-on-male (and male-on-male!) rape. But the one is systemic, the other incidental.
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Be aware of singing as if you were half dead,
or half asleep:
but lift your voice with strength.
Be no more afraid of your voice now,
nor more ashamed of its being heard,
than when you sang the songs of Satan.
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First, since men are, on average, physically stronger than women (please note that I said "on average" and not "always"), if a man is abusive, either physically or verbally, toward a woman, the situation shall almost always be treated very seriously and have a negative tone. People shall typically display abhorrence toward the man and offer assistance to the woman. However, if a woman is abusive toward a man, the situation may be treated seriously, or it may be treated as if it is humorous, and some people may even laugh at such a situation (in particular, this seems to occur frequently in Japanese animation and manga, with notable examples being the behavior of Akane Tendo toward Ranma Saotomoe, Kagome toward Inuyasha, or Chi-Chi toward Goku).
The second part of the double standard is that men are (supposedly) always eager for sexual intercourse, and thus, while most people can imagine that a man would force a woman into engaging in sexual intercourse against her will, those same people would often find it to be inconceivable that a women could force a man into engaging in sexual intercourse. Think of all the incidents in which young (in their early-to-mid-20's and 30's) female teachers have engaged in sexual intercourse with their adolescent male students, and how most people who comment about such incidents do not regard those incidents as being very serious, while if the sexes of the teachers and students were reversed, the reactions would likely be very different.
Since I am male, this double standard bothers me, since it makes the implication that men are naturally aggressive and violent but also willing to endure poor treatment from women because of their instincts and desires.
Has anyone else here ever encountered this double standard, and if you have, how have you dealt with it? Thankfully, I myself have never encountered it, but, if I did, I would attempt to explain in a rational manner why it is illogical and irrational. What can everyone else say on this subject?
“When the people fear the government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty.”-Thomas Jefferson
“A vote is like a rifle; its usefulness depends upon the character of its user.”-Theodore Roosevelt
“Patriotism means to stand by one's country; it does not mean to stand by one's president.”-Theodore Roosevelt
Devil's advocate: why do you think this double standard is "illogical and irrational?"
Like you said, men are typically stronger and larger than women. It's also well-documented the testosterone tends to increase sex drive and aggression levels. I'm sure we can also find some statistics that the majority of rapes and assaults are committed by men.
So if the double standard is "it's more likely that a male will commit violence or sexual assault than a female," this is probably a statistically accurate statement.
In most everyday-life situations, the Mr. Spock response is more likely to escalate a conflict than resolve it. People hate it when Mr. Spock tells them they're wrong. You want to speak and act like a human being from the planet Earth. Be colloquial and succinct. Show emotion; invoke sympathy. Don't use the word "illogical", ever.
It's about four to one, according to the National Crime Victimization Survey.
candidus inperti; si nil, his utere mecum.
I'd wager you're correct that some issues need to be better understood and managed by society, such as female-on-male violence (and domestic violence) in particular and human sexuality. Assumptions can lead to disappointment or vindication, neither of which really help us progress much at all.
Another thing I'd like to point out is that these beliefs can be harmful to women also, by making female-on-male rape inconsequential or a joke it ignores the real issue that these women are predators, could be subject to rehabilitation (if that's something you support) and that the impact they have on the children the prey upon is serious.
As towards sex drive, you'd be surprised how often I've heard women complain about their partner's lack of interest; It is often construed that either "something is wrong" with the male if he refuses sex or the female assumes that something is wrong with herself.
I'd wager that teaching people the universal harm of these types of beliefs would be a better way to prevent them than arguing the harm they cause men specifically; Men are the more powerful group and society tends to consider the injustices suffered by powerful groups as either deserved or non-important.
I agree this is something you never want to do. Last conversation I had with a close female friend, I called her position unreasonable. She then went onto flesh out a parade of horribles in her mind that I was
1. Not supporting her.
2. Wasn't on her side.
3. Didn't care for her.
4. Didn't care about her.
5. Was a horrible friend because of the above.
6. Would never come to me again for anything.
7. Felt betrayed because of the above.
I kid you not. All that because I told her her position was unreasonable. Real life isn't debate. Don't treat it like one.
I'm willing to bet that the male vs. female being more likely thing still skews male, but something to think about.
Actually it's been proven that women have higher sex drives then men.
"Sex drive" and "propensity to rape" are not the same thing.
Yes, but your point was that Testosterone leads to increase sex drive and aggression (No argument there). Women tend to have higher sex drives, debunking that point, which was all i was trying to say
What about the aggression?
candidus inperti; si nil, his utere mecum.
A) https://www.google.com/webhp?source=search_app
B) Which is why I said in the other post "Increased ~ and aggression (No argument there).
So what's your point then?
candidus inperti; si nil, his utere mecum.
Must be a fun guy at parties; "So yesterday something happened" "WHY DON'T YOU PROVE IT!"
So what's your point then?[/quote]
My point was, despite the stereotypes, women tend to have higher sexual drives then men. However, There is no argument that men are usually the ones with higher aggression levels.
As a general rule in debates, if you make a positive claim, particularly one that is relevant to the discussion at hand you are expected to be able to convincingly support your claim. In this case, as the apparent understanding of everyone else in the thread was that men have stronger sex drives, you can't simply say the opposite and not provide evidence. You're in a debate, so people aren't generally going to just take your word at face value.
With that said, yes men have legitimate issues and society has not caught onto the concept of grooming with a position in authority for women abusing a young man or just plain verbal or physical abuse for a man in general. Then there's my personal favorite, men who taught not to hit women and women who are slap happy. Typically these are teenagers or young 20 somethings, but at some point you see attitude. That is the singular largest pet peeve I have with some people who think slapping is a woman's sport. It's not, you don't hit people except in specific circumstances.
I feel the change in abuse literature over the years has helped to curb the outlier effects and unintended consequences such as "women can slap/hit men and get away with it" by taking the unisex approach. It takes time to deprogramme stupid out of the system but it's working its way. Feminism is starting to realize that it has to come out of the ivory tower and actually have people "buy into the argument." I see that over time that feminism will be forced to have more talk about male issues into the discussions about gender. Which is much healthier than the current position, and provided some competing ideologies that take the best of feminism and use a slightly different framework to discuss topics in a more open fashion.
The other aspect, is for parents and so forth to talk about concepts such as a "man whore" or "being irresponsible puts everyone at risk in your future sex life."
It doesn't matter what you say, it's what they hear. Which is why I tend to tell people who are close to me to understand whenever they want my opinion to expect a sharp analysis, which is why I tend to ask. "Are you looking for someone to listen to you or to give you a suggestion/discussion?" Most people will tell you what they want if they have a healthy emotional life. Eventually you learn their mood and tone that they take and the kind of relationship you establish with them. The biggest challenge, too, is that sometimes people want the "Dr. Phil" approach to advice, sometimes they want Oprah and you to "believe," other times they want both. It's normally just being blunt with what they want and then giving them what they emotionally need at the time.
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“When the people fear the government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty.”-Thomas Jefferson
“A vote is like a rifle; its usefulness depends upon the character of its user.”-Theodore Roosevelt
“Patriotism means to stand by one's country; it does not mean to stand by one's president.”-Theodore Roosevelt
candidus inperti; si nil, his utere mecum.
1. As BS mentioned, saying "I wouldn't rape anyone and I treat everyone with respect" is pretty unremarkable. Society expects that as a default baseline.
2. Your personal behaviors are surely irrelevant, right? It's like asking "why are there so many security cameras and anti-theft devices in stores? I would never rob a store." Well great, most people wouldn't. But some small fraction of people would, so stores need to prepare for that possibility.
Based on this thread, and some others you've started, it seems like you may be one of those people who is really looking for reasons to be offended. Being bothered by double-standards that don't seem to trouble others. Noticing that people seem to frequently disrespect you. I don't mean to offend...but maybe the problem is YOU. What are you doing differently? Why are you in a mental place where these things bother you so much? Just guessing here (gotta love internet psych but I'll bet that if you can become happier with yourself, with your life, you'll find that you aren't getting hung up on stuff like this anymore. I've known a few people that exhibit similar behaviors, and that unhappiness with themselves seems to be at the root of their problems too.
See this is the problematic thing I find about all of these arguments regarding "rape culture." I've yet to read one that accentuates how rape is a crime that is committed against both genders. And I'm not talking about the "violence against women also harms men" arguments, I'm talking about pointing out that men who are raped by women actually have it worse in our culture.
Also, pointing out that they actually exist.
I just find the whole thing odd. If people are campaigning for rape awareness, you really would think that the number of men who get raped and their treatment by society would be a subject of discussion, as opposed to the focal point being exclusively women.
Woman teacher with young male student, having underaged sex is statutory rape. The typical happenstance is that the woman gets less jail time than their male counterparts. That's one instance of rape, but also that these young men tend to not be taken seriously by people as thinking that they're "getting lucky" and so forth. And in some of these relationships there is evidence of grooming and other forms of psychological manipulation and abuse.
There are also cases of woman on young female pedophilia cases, especially involving teenagers. They're rare, but they also occur and cause shame and the same sort of "it's our little secret" sort of thing. This is also not talked about very often either.
There are also male on male rape, there is date rape among males. They're rarer, because most homosexuals are only 10% of the population, but also a very minor fraction of those even consider even doing anything with date rape.
Women sexually assaulting other men, hazing instances with anal penetration with a broom handle, and other such things do occur. They are rarer than statutory rape cases, which is more of a legal scholar and a legislative problem in trying to link punishments to establish equality among similar crimes. I don't expect "Man Rape Awareness Week," but there's got to be that discussion to young person "Don't be stupid and leave your drink alone. Neither, especially in the difference in punishment for women teachers vs men teachers when dealing with statutory rape, where one is "mentally sick" and the other is a feral predator. Truth is, the person is probably both mentally sick and a predator. And that's where justice needs to begin, what is the punishment but also the treatment to ensure that people who commit such crimes are fixed of their demons.
Modern
Commander
Cube
<a href="http://www.mtgsalvation.com/forums/the-game/the-cube-forum/cube-lists/588020-unpowered-themed-enchantment-an-enchanted-evening">An Enchanted Evening Cube </a>
http://www.newmalestudies.com/OJS/index.php/nms/article/view/149/150
While I don't agree with everything Moxon writes I think he makes some good arguments here.
FrostDragon4-You have frequently mentioned the "oppression of women", I would argue that the whole concept of the oppression of women as it exists in academia now is BS. Informed fundamentally by the same logical fallacies that underpin marxism. That who (defined by demographics here) holds leadership positions trumps how power is actually used or who has control over their lives.
Of course rape is a crime committed against both genders. That's not the point.
Only one gender is taught that coercing the other to have sex by any means is considered sporting and cool. Only one gender has major pop cultural, religious, and political figures who have admitted to (or continue openly!) to brutalize individuals of the other gender. And only one gender commits 80%+ of these crimes.
Of course we need to fix the problem of female-on-male (and male-on-male!) rape. But the one is systemic, the other incidental.
Be aware of singing as if you were half dead,
or half asleep:
but lift your voice with strength.
Be no more afraid of your voice now,
nor more ashamed of its being heard,
than when you sang the songs of Satan.