With Clan Contest Mafia V: Planeswalkers Vs. Phyrexia well underway, it's a good time to do a filler contest to keep the dead clan players (:mad:) & the rest of us busy!
Clan Contest #4 is an open-ended creativity exercise: it is up to your clan to decide what they want to submit! Anything within the bounds of the rules is permissible, be it Magic-related, Clan-centric, or From Deep Space.
This is a heaps-casual contest, so don't stress it! If you'd like to see what Clans came up with last time we ran a pot-luck, click here! If anyone has a copy of 499's Community Spirit poster, I would be very grateful (they won, but the attachment must have been in Testing Grounds pre-nuke).
Judging will be done by the participating clans, selecting a 1st & 2nd place based loosely on these criteria: Fun (Did you laugh? Is there replay value?) New (Originality is key here!) Wow (Quality presentation or production values shine through!)
This one is for chips & giggles, so don't hold back!
Signups will be open 1 week from the timestamp on this post.
Clans will then be given 2 weeks to submit.
Can we get an extension on sign up? My clan isn't really posting and I know that at least 2 of us have expressed interest!
Nope, we've got enough interest, we don't wait.
That said, I am taking it pretty loose these days with signups *coughPanchoPonceNcough*, so just sign up. If you fail to submit, it cost you nothing but the respect of your peers
Argh!
Here be the entry for [The SeaCrafters]!
It be a homemade YouTube video about The Adventures of the Evian Flew!
(The SeaCrafter's mighty vessel)
Enjoy! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4KDTDkymyM
* 4 Aven "legs" (drum and thigh) - about 2 1/2 pounds
* 3 onions
* 2 tablespoon olive oil, divided
* 1 tablespoon butter
* 4 ounces auroch-bacon
* 2 cloves garlic
* 1 bottle golden ale
* 20 or so dried apricots - about 7 ounces
* 1 sprig thyme or 1 teaspoon dried
1. Prepare the aven by slicing the legs into drum and thigh pieces (8 pieces total). Slice off any loose pieces of skin as well. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Be sure to remember to remove the talons, as they may scratch your pan.
2. Peel and slice the onions.
3. Heat 1 tablespoon of olive oil and the butter in a Dutch oven on medium low heat. Add onions and cook for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. The onions should caramelize somewhat.
4. Slice the auroch-bacon in 1/4 inch by 1 inch strips. Add the bacon to the onions and cook 8 more minutes, stirring occasionally.
5. Peel and crush the garlic, adding it to the auroch-bacon and onions. Cook for 1 more minute.
6. Remove the ingredients from the Dutch oven and add in 1 more tablespoon olive oil.
7. Add the aven pieces and brown on all sides - about five minutes. Turn off heat.
8. Add onions and auroch-bacon back into the Dutch oven. Pour on beer, add apricots and thyme and stir everything to mix.
9. Put a lid on the Dutch oven and bake at 340°F (170°C) for 1 1/2 to 2 hours, or until it is as tender as you like it. You can stir the aven half way through the cooking time.
10. Serve hot over rice.
Makes 6 servings.
Preparation Time: 10 Minutes
Cook Time: 4+ Hours.
Serves: 4 - 6, or one REALLY hungry Planeswalker
Ingredients
30 -40 lbs Otarian Wyrm's Rib's
garlic salt
1 1/2 cups water
1/3 cup apple cider vinegar
1/3 cup Worcestershire sauce
1 cup ketchup
1/4 cup sugar
1/4 cup maple syrup
1 tablespoon Niv-Mizzet's Molten Lava sauce (adjust for desired level of heat/Speed of death)
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon Alaran chili powder
1/2 teaspoon onion powder
1 teaspoon dry mustard
1 -2 teaspoon Ravnican celery seed (be careful, too much can overpower the flavor, and Kill you.)
1 teaspoon Vulshok paprika
1/2 teaspoon Phyrexian pepper
Directions:
1.) Stir ingredients, beginning with water (leave ribs and garlic salt out), into a stock pot.
2.) Bring to a boil. Allow to boil for about 15 minute stirring occasionally.
3.) Simmer uncovered, ALLOW TO REDUCE TO DESIRED THICKNESS.
4.) Preheat Campfire/Portable Flame Blaster(Goblin Made) to 350°F when sauce has reached desired thickness.
5.) Cut ribs into face stuffing sizes sizes.
6.) Place in greased roasting pan or casserole dish.
7.) Sprinkle with garlic salt to taste.
8.) Bake/Spray with Magical fire uncovered for 45 minutes bone side up.
9.) Drain the grease off the ribs.
10.) Pour sauce over ribs. (WARNING: Sauce may melt faces/explode on contact/transport ribs to other parts of the multiverse.)
11.) Cover with Izzet-made foil and bake for 3 hours.
12.) Uncover and bake for an additional 30 minutes, basting the ribs 2-3 times during final stage.
Ingredients: you
Step 1: Kick a Woolly Thoctar in the kneecap.
Step 2: Run for what's left of your life...
Step 3: Become a Thoctar Treat!
Revenant Flavor Text: It eats death and drinks pain.
Ingredients: 1 cup Atog milk, 3 Myr of the same type, 15 Saprolings, 1 Ravnican Lupul, 2 Dragon Eggs, 1 pkg Jiffy corn muffin mix.
Part 1: Somehow get the Lupul into it's worm like form, you're going to boil this... for a very long time.
Part 2: Steam some Saprolings, they're basically sentient Brussels sprouts and or broccoli right? Well you're going to want them to remain somewhat crisp so don't over steam them, just wait for their delicious screams to stop.
Part 3: Obtain some Loxodon meat and cut into small cubes saute and set aside to drain grease.
Part 4: Make some normal cornbread mix and add 2 dragon eggs, well beaten (very well beaten) and Atog milk.
Part 5: About now your Lupul will surely be dead, so go ahead and mix it with the Loxodon meat and mix this and the crisply steamed Saprolings to your cornbread mix.
Part 6: Drop myr into Blendtec Blender and press blend. Myr smoke... don't breathe this! Especially if you used Leaden Myr! Once the smoke has cleared spread evenly on top of your Cornbread Casserole Surprise and bake until you think it's done.
Ingredients: As many Nantuko as you want!
Step 1: Rip their legs off!!!
Step 2: Steam until legs turn reddish in color.
Step 3: Crack open and enjoy.
Ingredients
Chipotle Lime Oil
1/2 cup olive oil
6 large garlic cloves, chopped
1 tablespoon fresh lime juice
1 1/2 teaspoons minced canned chipotle chilies (adobo)
1 teaspoon grated lime peel
3/4 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro
Green Ginger Onion Butter
2 tablespoons peanut oil
2 teaspoons minced peeled fresh ginger, packed
1/4 cup Chinese rice wine or sake
1/3 cup finely chopped green onions
3 tablespoons butter, room temperature
2 1 1/2- to 2-pound live Homarids
Olive oil
Directions:
For Chipotle Lime Oil: Cook oil and garlic in heavy small sauce-pan over medium-low heat until garlic begins to brown, about 8 minutes. Carefully mix in next 4 ingredients. Stir until salt dissolves. Remove from heat. Mix in cilantro. Cover and refrigerate. Makes 2/3 cup chipotle lime oil; can be prepared up to 2 hours ahead.
For Ginger Green Onion Butter:Cook peanut oil and ginger in small saucepan over medium-low heat 2 minutes. Carefully add wine; simmer until reduced by half. Remove from heat. Add green onions and butter. Season with salt and pepper. Cover and refrigerate. Makes about 1/2 cup. Can be made 2 hours ahead.
For Homarid: Drop 1 homarid, head first, into large pot of boiling water. Cover; cook 3 minutes (homarid will not be fully cooked).
Cooking Instructions:
Using tongs, transfer homarid to baking sheet.
Return water to boil.
Repeat with second homarid.
Transfer 1 homarid, shell side down, to work surface. Place tip of large knife into center of homarid. Cut homarid lengthwise in half from center to end of head (knife may not cut through shell), then cut in half from center to end of tail. Use poultry shears to cut through shell. Repeat with second homarid.
Prepare barbecue (medium-high heat).
Keeping homarid halves meat side up, brush shells with olive oil. Place halves, meat side up, on barbecue.
Brush meat with olive oil; sprinkle with salt and pepper. Place pans with sauces at edge of barbecue to rewarm.
Cover barbecue; grill homarids until just opaque in thickest portion of tail, 7 to 9 minutes.
Serve, passing warm sauces separately.
Serves 2
INGREDIENTS
4 pounds Boar shoulder
1 pound Boar fat
40 grams kosher salt
35 grams sugar
20 grams toasted fennel seeds
6 grams cracked black pepper
4 grams ground nutmeg
1 cup minced fresh parsley
1 head garlic, peeled and chopped
¾ cup dry sherry
¼ cup sherry vinegar
Special Equipment Needed for basic sausage
Meat grinder with coarse and fine dies - either KitchenAid with grinder attachment, a stand-alone grinder, or an old fashioned hand-cranked meat grinder
Additional Equipment Needed for Stuffed Sausage Links
Casings - hog casings
Sausage stuffer
Wooden rack to hang sausages to dry
METHOD
MAKING BULK SAUSAGE
1 Make sure your ingredients are laid out, and the meat and fat are very cold (fat can be completely frozen), before you begin (put meat and fat in freezer for 2 hours). Put bowls and grinder in freezer or refrigerator for an hour before using them.
2 Prepare a large bowl of ice and put a medium metal bowl on top of it. Slice your meat and fat into chunks between an inch and two inches across. Cut your fat a little smaller than your meat. To keep your ingredients cold, put your cut meat and fat into the bowl set into a larger bowl filled with ice.
3 When the meat and fat are cut, mix them quickly. Pour in most of your spices; I leave out a tablespoon or two of fennel seeds and a tablespoon of black pepper for later. Mix quickly. Add the salt and the sugar and mix one more time. Put into a covered container or top the bowl with plastic wrap and put the sausage mixture into the freezer for at least 30 minutes and no more than an hour. Now you can call back whoever might have bothered you when you started this process.
4 Meanwhile, mix ¼ cup of sherry vinegar and ¾ cup of dry sherry and put it in the fridge. I know sherry is not traditional in Italian sausage. You can use white wine and white wine vinegar if you’d rather (I save red wine and red wine vinegar for the hot sausages).
5 If you plan on stuffing your sausage, take out some of the casings (you need about 15-18 feet for a 5-pound batch of links) and immerse them in warm water. (If you are not planning on stuffing your sausage, you can skip this step.)
6 After your sausage mixture has chilled, remove your grinder from the freezer and set it up. I use the coarse die for Italian sausage, but you could use either. Do not use a very fine die, because to do this properly you typically need to grind the meat coarse first, then re-chill it, then grind again with the fine die. Besides, an Italian sausage is supposed to be rustic.
7 Push the sausage mixture though the grinder, working quickly. If you use the KitchenAid attachment, use it on level 4. Make sure the ground meat falls into a cold bowl. When all the meat is ground, put it back in the freezer and clean up the grinder and work area.
8 When you’ve cleaned up, take the mixture back out and add the remaining spices and the sherry-sherry vinegar mixture. Using the paddle attachment to a stand mixer (or a stout wooden spoon, or your VERY clean hands), mix the sausage well. With a stand mixer set on level 1, let this go for 90 seconds. It might take a little longer with the spoon or hands. You want the mixture to get a little sticky and begin to bind to itself – it is a lot like what happens when you knead bread.
When this is done, you have sausage. You are done if you are not making links. To cook, take a scoop and form into a ball with your hands. Flatten out a bit. Cook on medium low heat in a skillet for 5-10 minutes each side until browned and cooked through.
ADDITIONAL STEPS FOR MAKING LINKS
9 If you are making links, put the mixture back in the freezer and clean up again. Bring out your sausage stuffer, which should have been in the freezer or refrigerator. Run warm water through your sausage casings. This makes them easier to put on the stuffer tube and lets you know if there are any holes in the casings. Be sure to lay one edge of the flushed casings over the edge of the bowl of warm water they were in; this helps you grab them easily when you need them.
10 Slip a casing onto the stuffing tube (And yes, it is exactly like what you think it is). Leave a “tail” of at least 6 inches off the end of the tube: You need this to tie off later.
11 Take the meat from the freezer one last time and stuff it into the stuffer. If all the meat will not fit, keep it in a bowl over another bowl filled with ice, or in the fridge while you stuff in batches. Start cranking the stuffer down. Air should be the first thing that emerges – this is why you do not tie off the casing right off the bat.
12 When the meat starts to come out, use one hand to regulate how fast the casing slips off the tube; it’s a little tricky at first, but you will get the hang of it. Let the sausage come out in one long coil; you will make links later. Remember to leave 6-10 inches of “tail” at the other end of the casing. Sometimes one really long hog casing is all you need for a 5-pound batch. When the sausage is all in the casings, tie off the one end in a double knot. You could also use fine butcher’s twine.
13 With two hands, pinch off what will become two links. Work the links so they are pretty tight: You want any air bubbles to force their way to the edge of the sausage. Then spin the link you have between your fingers away from you several times. Repeat this process down the coil, only on this next link, spin it towards you several times. Continue this way, alternating, until you get to the end of the coil. Tie off the other end.
14 Almost done. Time to hang your sausages. Hang them on the rack so they don’t touch (too much), and find yourself a needle. Sterilize it by putting into a gas flame or somesuch, then look for air bubbles in the links. Prick them with the needle, and in most cases the casing will flatten itself against the link.
15 Let these dry for an hour or two, then put them in a large container in the fridge overnight, with paper towels underneath. Package them up or eat them the next day. They will keep for a week, but freeze those that will not be used by then.
The mind is the centrifugal force that runs us. Without it, as planeswalkers, we are absolutely nothing. In our mind we store our past, every event and every thing we have seen and learned of over our magnificent lifetimes. From there we concoct our magics, summoning creatures that past us on the road, or spells that we learned from our tutors. Our mind is everything.
Without it, there is nothing.
That’s where We come in.
Physical strength is irrelevant to us. As strong as you are, no matter how you fight, we can kill you. There is no defense from our ways; in the end we will always be successful.
We attack your mind, and rip it to nothing, bit by bit removing you memories, eventually destroying you, leaving you as a lifeless twitching pile of fat and bones.
We are the true masters of memory.
We are the true rulers of the night.
We are Dimir.
Untouchable, we have altered our ability to vanquish our opponent’s minds. Although, we did not invent the art of mind battle, we have perfected it. Nothing will ever even begin to amass to our combined power as Dimir. You might say that we have weakened since the death of our leader. You are wrong.
Because our powers are back, stronger than ever. We have spent our lives working for this exact moment.
It is the time of shadowy embrace of Our Will.
Feel that tingling in the back of your skull?
It means the Mindcrush has begun.
If a creature with mindcrush would deal damage to a player, instead that player puts that many cards from the top of his or her library into his or her graveyard.
Father's Gift x3
Father's Gift :3mana::symbu::symbu:
Instant
You may cast Father's Gift without paying it's casting cost when it is put into your graveyard from the library.
Put two colorless 1/1 thopter creatures with flying and mindcrush onto the battlefield.
Art: Seth MacFarlane
New Duskmantle x1
New Duskmantle
Legendary Land
New Duskmantle comes into the battlefield tapped, unless you put the top five cards of your library into your graveyard.
:symtap:: Add :symu::symb: to your mana pool.
:1mana::symu::symb::symtap:: Creatures you control are unblockable until the end of turn.
Art: TERA Concept Team
Sewer Scout x4
Sewer Scout :symu::symb:
Creature -- Human Scout
Mindcrush
2/1 "Embrace the Mindcrush." -- Aquajolt, Exectuive Infiltrator
Art: yoursoulmate
On One Hand // On the Other x4
On One Hand :1mana::symu:
Instant
Counter target spell unless it's controller pays :2mana:. "I dislike what you're trying to do."
Art: Evelynn Richards
//
On the Other :1mana::symb::symb:
Instant
Destroy target creature. It can't be regenerated. "I do not care for this, either." -- Master Marth, Mind Melter of Dimir
Art: Mike Rose
Island x8
Art: John Avon
Enchantress of the Unthinkable x4
Enchantress of the Unthinkable :1mana::symu::symb:
Creature -- Vampire Lord
Mindcrush
Other creatures with mindcrush you control get +1/+1 and have intimidate.
2/2 They don't all hide in the shadows. Some are more than willing to put up a public front of lies, if only to lure other's to their "cause".
Art: Graham Winsfred
Swamp x9
Art: Inspire Games Concept Team
Regather Our Thoughts x4
Regather Our Thoughts
Sorcery
Shuffle your graveyard into your library.
Draw a card. Please, let me finish.
Art: static0
Overlooked Sewers x4
Overlooked Sewers
Land
Overlooked Sewers comes into the battlefield tapped.
:symtap:: Add or to your mana pool. "After the eleventh worker went missing in three days, I decided the northwestern tunnels in the Industrial district no longer needed restoration." -- Foreman Tek Kelspin, Ravnican Urban Workers Local 466
Art: James Howard
Initiation of Erasure x2
Initiation of Erasure :1mana::symu::symb:
Instant
Target player sacrifices a creature.
Draw a card. Resistance is futile.
Art: Octave Tassaert
Fleeting Shadows x2
Fleeting Shadows :2mana::symu::symb:
Creature -- Shade
Mindcrush
:symb:: Fleeting Shadows gets +1/+0 until the end of turn.
1/1 "Must be the shadows playing tricks on my eyes."
Art: Paul Mutton
Memogoyf x2
Memogoyf :1mana::symbu:
Creature -- Lhurgoyf
Mindcrush
Memogoyf has power and toughness equal to the number of instants and sorceries in all graveyards.
*/*+1 Memogoyfs feed off of memories, fleeting thoughts, and excrement. The Dimir like to domesticate these horrible beasts for some terrifying and unthinkable reason.
Art: vmulligan
Surge of the Dark Hivemind x3
Surge of the Dark Hivemind :2mana::symbu:
Sorcery
You may put the top five cards of your library into your graveyard instead of paying Surge of the Dark Higemind's casting cost.
Put a +1/+1 counter on each creature with mindcrush you control.
Transmute :1mana::symu::symb:
Art: sandara
Unnamed Assassin x3
Unnamed Assassin :1mana::symu::symb:
Creature -- Human Assassin
Mindcrush
Whenever an instant or sorcery is played, Unnamed Assassin gets +1/+1 until the end of turn.
1/1
Art: Jason Rhinefield
Unmemorable Altar x1
Unmemorable Altar
Artifact
Whenever a player puts number of cards from the top of his or her library into his or her graveyard, that player puts twice that many cards into their graveyard instead. Most likely the scariest thing in the Multiverse itself. No one ever remembers what it does, though.
Art: Valle Sagrado
The House Wills It x3
The House Wills It :2mana::symu::symb:
Instant
You may put the top ten cards of your library into your graveyard instead of paying the casting cost for The House Wills It.
Counter target spell. "No thanks, Digi. I'm sweet enough." -- Yanni
Art: Michael Kutsche
Upon Second Glimpse x3
Upon Second Glimpse :symu::symu::symb::symb:
Sorcery
Target player puts the top twenty cards of his or her library into his library into his or her graveyard. "We can't just double the cost... can we?" --Tezzeret the 12th
Art: Digicooldad
Late entries will not be accepted if at least 5 clans submit, with exceptions based on individual contest needs.
In the event of less than 5 submissions an appropriate extension will be issued. Late entries will be penalized by one contest point for every 24 hour period past the deadline.
As we have 5 entries, contest proceeds; the other clans are disqualified.
Judging will be done by the participating clans (meaning, the ones who entered as above), selecting a 1st & 2nd place based loosely on these criteria: Fun (Did you laugh? Is there replay value?) New (Originality is key here!) Wow (Quality presentation or production values shine through!)
Deadline for these votes ~1 week from the timestamp on this post!
Well since almost all our active members decided to all vote today, we're going to go ahead and post our thoughts on who we think did the best.
1st Place Clan Mono Black Their entry, the "The Commandments of EDH" was something phenomenally creative. It was both humorous and insightful as it acknowledges that EDH and Multiplayer Magic in general is all about politics. It's simple, but does its job. Most of us wouldn't mind hanging this on our wall for all to see.
2nd place Dimir
Their entry of a custom deck with all new custom cards was quite entrancing. The fact that they took the time to intricately describe every little thing was a great plus to anyone who was curious. Although some of the card wordings were off, and some cards could definitely use a power check, over all the Dimir really came through with a fun and flavorful idea.
In the #2 spot, House Dimir! Fun - Very cool! New - It definitely looks like good mirror of Ravnica. Maybe we'll see some of these in Hook/Line/Sinker Wow - Very cleanly done! Bit high on the power level though.
In the #1 spot, The Crafters! Fun - Oh my what. New - What is this I don't even. Wow -"Fun Fact: Aurora Illumina cannot actually touch the ground."
~Lucky Dip~
With Clan Contest Mafia V: Planeswalkers Vs. Phyrexia well underway, it's a good time to do a filler contest to keep the dead clan players (:mad:) & the rest of us busy!
Clan Contest #4 is an open-ended creativity exercise: it is up to your clan to decide what they want to submit! Anything within the bounds of the rules is permissible, be it Magic-related, Clan-centric, or From Deep Space.
This is a heaps-casual contest, so don't stress it! If you'd like to see what Clans came up with last time we ran a pot-luck, click here! If anyone has a copy of 499's Community Spirit poster, I would be very grateful (they won, but the attachment must have been in Testing Grounds pre-nuke).
Judging will be done by the participating clans, selecting a 1st & 2nd place based loosely on these criteria:
Fun (Did you laugh? Is there replay value?)
New (Originality is key here!)
Wow (Quality presentation or production values shine through!)
This one is for chips & giggles, so don't hold back!
Signups will be open 1 week from the timestamp on this post.
Clans will then be given 2 weeks to submit.
Good luck
Clans Signed On
Provided most of them don't have too much homework.
Good luck, everyone.
Putting the sexy in Science Fiction!
gamertag: filthychocolate
[Clan Flamingo]
The clan for custom card creators!
LOL
(Methinks it be a good idea to put a link to this thread in the clan council page, because I almost missed it somehow!)
That said, I am taking it pretty loose these days with signups *coughPanchoPonceNcough*, so just sign up. If you fail to submit, it cost you nothing but the respect of your peers
LOL
There was once [The Pack], but no more.
[The Family] is in!!
Tired of corporate corruption ruining your favorite MtG site?
Come join ours!!
We even have Mafia!!
Entries are due 2 weeks from the timestamp on this post.
Good luck everyone!
Clans can post their entries here, or PM them to me & I will post them when the deadline hits.
Here be the entry for [The SeaCrafters]!
It be a homemade YouTube video about The Adventures of the Evian Flew!
(The SeaCrafter's mighty vessel)
Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4KDTDkymyM
Preparation Time: 8 Minutes
Cook Time: 2 Minutes
Preparation time: 40 minutes- Cook time: 90 minutes to 2 hours
Preparation Time: 40 minutes
Baking Time: 90 minutes to 2 hours
* 4 Aven "legs" (drum and thigh) - about 2 1/2 pounds
* 3 onions
* 2 tablespoon olive oil, divided
* 1 tablespoon butter
* 4 ounces auroch-bacon
* 2 cloves garlic
* 1 bottle golden ale
* 20 or so dried apricots - about 7 ounces
* 1 sprig thyme or 1 teaspoon dried
1. Prepare the aven by slicing the legs into drum and thigh pieces (8 pieces total). Slice off any loose pieces of skin as well. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Be sure to remember to remove the talons, as they may scratch your pan.
2. Peel and slice the onions.
3. Heat 1 tablespoon of olive oil and the butter in a Dutch oven on medium low heat. Add onions and cook for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. The onions should caramelize somewhat.
4. Slice the auroch-bacon in 1/4 inch by 1 inch strips. Add the bacon to the onions and cook 8 more minutes, stirring occasionally.
5. Peel and crush the garlic, adding it to the auroch-bacon and onions. Cook for 1 more minute.
6. Remove the ingredients from the Dutch oven and add in 1 more tablespoon olive oil.
7. Add the aven pieces and brown on all sides - about five minutes. Turn off heat.
8. Add onions and auroch-bacon back into the Dutch oven. Pour on beer, add apricots and thyme and stir everything to mix.
9. Put a lid on the Dutch oven and bake at 340°F (170°C) for 1 1/2 to 2 hours, or until it is as tender as you like it. You can stir the aven half way through the cooking time.
10. Serve hot over rice.
Makes 6 servings.
Preparation Time: 10 Minutes
Cook Time: 4+ Hours.
Serves: 4 - 6, or one REALLY hungry Planeswalker
Ingredients
30 -40 lbs Otarian Wyrm's Rib's
garlic salt
1 1/2 cups water
1/3 cup apple cider vinegar
1/3 cup Worcestershire sauce
1 cup ketchup
1/4 cup sugar
1/4 cup maple syrup
1 tablespoon Niv-Mizzet's Molten Lava sauce (adjust for desired level of heat/Speed of death)
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon Alaran chili powder
1/2 teaspoon onion powder
1 teaspoon dry mustard
1 -2 teaspoon Ravnican celery seed (be careful, too much can overpower the flavor, and Kill you.)
1 teaspoon Vulshok paprika
1/2 teaspoon Phyrexian pepper
Directions:
1.) Stir ingredients, beginning with water (leave ribs and garlic salt out), into a stock pot.
2.) Bring to a boil. Allow to boil for about 15 minute stirring occasionally.
3.) Simmer uncovered, ALLOW TO REDUCE TO DESIRED THICKNESS.
4.) Preheat Campfire/Portable Flame Blaster(Goblin Made) to 350°F when sauce has reached desired thickness.
5.) Cut ribs into face stuffing sizes sizes.
6.) Place in greased roasting pan or casserole dish.
7.) Sprinkle with garlic salt to taste.
8.) Bake/Spray with Magical fire uncovered for 45 minutes bone side up.
9.) Drain the grease off the ribs.
10.) Pour sauce over ribs. (WARNING: Sauce may melt faces/explode on contact/transport ribs to other parts of the multiverse.)
11.) Cover with Izzet-made foil and bake for 3 hours.
12.) Uncover and bake for an additional 30 minutes, basting the ribs 2-3 times during final stage.
Ingredients: you
Step 1: Kick a Woolly Thoctar in the kneecap.
Step 2: Run for what's left of your life...
Step 3: Become a Thoctar Treat!
Revenant Flavor Text: It eats death and drinks pain.
Ingredients: 1 cup Atog milk, 3 Myr of the same type, 15 Saprolings, 1 Ravnican Lupul, 2 Dragon Eggs, 1 pkg Jiffy corn muffin mix.
Part 1: Somehow get the Lupul into it's worm like form, you're going to boil this... for a very long time.
Part 2: Steam some Saprolings, they're basically sentient Brussels sprouts and or broccoli right? Well you're going to want them to remain somewhat crisp so don't over steam them, just wait for their delicious screams to stop.
Part 3: Obtain some Loxodon meat and cut into small cubes saute and set aside to drain grease.
Part 4: Make some normal cornbread mix and add 2 dragon eggs, well beaten (very well beaten) and Atog milk.
Part 5: About now your Lupul will surely be dead, so go ahead and mix it with the Loxodon meat and mix this and the crisply steamed Saprolings to your cornbread mix.
Part 6: Drop myr into Blendtec Blender and press blend. Myr smoke... don't breathe this! Especially if you used Leaden Myr! Once the smoke has cleared spread evenly on top of your Cornbread Casserole Surprise and bake until you think it's done.
Ingredients: As many Nantuko as you want!
Step 1: Rip their legs off!!!
Step 2: Steam until legs turn reddish in color.
Step 3: Crack open and enjoy.
Chipotle Lime Oil
1/2 cup olive oil
6 large garlic cloves, chopped
1 tablespoon fresh lime juice
1 1/2 teaspoons minced canned chipotle chilies (adobo)
1 teaspoon grated lime peel
3/4 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro
Green Ginger Onion Butter
2 tablespoons peanut oil
2 teaspoons minced peeled fresh ginger, packed
1/4 cup Chinese rice wine or sake
1/3 cup finely chopped green onions
3 tablespoons butter, room temperature
2 1 1/2- to 2-pound live Homarids
Olive oil
Directions:
For Chipotle Lime Oil: Cook oil and garlic in heavy small sauce-pan over medium-low heat until garlic begins to brown, about 8 minutes. Carefully mix in next 4 ingredients. Stir until salt dissolves. Remove from heat. Mix in cilantro. Cover and refrigerate. Makes 2/3 cup chipotle lime oil; can be prepared up to 2 hours ahead.
For Ginger Green Onion Butter:Cook peanut oil and ginger in small saucepan over medium-low heat 2 minutes. Carefully add wine; simmer until reduced by half. Remove from heat. Add green onions and butter. Season with salt and pepper. Cover and refrigerate. Makes about 1/2 cup. Can be made 2 hours ahead.
For Homarid: Drop 1 homarid, head first, into large pot of boiling water. Cover; cook 3 minutes (homarid will not be fully cooked).
Cooking Instructions:
Using tongs, transfer homarid to baking sheet.
Return water to boil.
Repeat with second homarid.
Transfer 1 homarid, shell side down, to work surface. Place tip of large knife into center of homarid. Cut homarid lengthwise in half from center to end of head (knife may not cut through shell), then cut in half from center to end of tail. Use poultry shears to cut through shell. Repeat with second homarid.
Prepare barbecue (medium-high heat).
Keeping homarid halves meat side up, brush shells with olive oil. Place halves, meat side up, on barbecue.
Brush meat with olive oil; sprinkle with salt and pepper. Place pans with sauces at edge of barbecue to rewarm.
Cover barbecue; grill homarids until just opaque in thickest portion of tail, 7 to 9 minutes.
Serve, passing warm sauces separately.
Serves 2
INGREDIENTS
4 pounds Boar shoulder
1 pound Boar fat
40 grams kosher salt
35 grams sugar
20 grams toasted fennel seeds
6 grams cracked black pepper
4 grams ground nutmeg
1 cup minced fresh parsley
1 head garlic, peeled and chopped
¾ cup dry sherry
¼ cup sherry vinegar
Special Equipment Needed for basic sausage
Meat grinder with coarse and fine dies - either KitchenAid with grinder attachment, a stand-alone grinder, or an old fashioned hand-cranked meat grinder
Additional Equipment Needed for Stuffed Sausage Links
Casings - hog casings
Sausage stuffer
Wooden rack to hang sausages to dry
METHOD
MAKING BULK SAUSAGE
1 Make sure your ingredients are laid out, and the meat and fat are very cold (fat can be completely frozen), before you begin (put meat and fat in freezer for 2 hours). Put bowls and grinder in freezer or refrigerator for an hour before using them.
2 Prepare a large bowl of ice and put a medium metal bowl on top of it. Slice your meat and fat into chunks between an inch and two inches across. Cut your fat a little smaller than your meat. To keep your ingredients cold, put your cut meat and fat into the bowl set into a larger bowl filled with ice.
3 When the meat and fat are cut, mix them quickly. Pour in most of your spices; I leave out a tablespoon or two of fennel seeds and a tablespoon of black pepper for later. Mix quickly. Add the salt and the sugar and mix one more time. Put into a covered container or top the bowl with plastic wrap and put the sausage mixture into the freezer for at least 30 minutes and no more than an hour. Now you can call back whoever might have bothered you when you started this process.
4 Meanwhile, mix ¼ cup of sherry vinegar and ¾ cup of dry sherry and put it in the fridge. I know sherry is not traditional in Italian sausage. You can use white wine and white wine vinegar if you’d rather (I save red wine and red wine vinegar for the hot sausages).
5 If you plan on stuffing your sausage, take out some of the casings (you need about 15-18 feet for a 5-pound batch of links) and immerse them in warm water. (If you are not planning on stuffing your sausage, you can skip this step.)
6 After your sausage mixture has chilled, remove your grinder from the freezer and set it up. I use the coarse die for Italian sausage, but you could use either. Do not use a very fine die, because to do this properly you typically need to grind the meat coarse first, then re-chill it, then grind again with the fine die. Besides, an Italian sausage is supposed to be rustic.
7 Push the sausage mixture though the grinder, working quickly. If you use the KitchenAid attachment, use it on level 4. Make sure the ground meat falls into a cold bowl. When all the meat is ground, put it back in the freezer and clean up the grinder and work area.
8 When you’ve cleaned up, take the mixture back out and add the remaining spices and the sherry-sherry vinegar mixture. Using the paddle attachment to a stand mixer (or a stout wooden spoon, or your VERY clean hands), mix the sausage well. With a stand mixer set on level 1, let this go for 90 seconds. It might take a little longer with the spoon or hands. You want the mixture to get a little sticky and begin to bind to itself – it is a lot like what happens when you knead bread.
When this is done, you have sausage. You are done if you are not making links. To cook, take a scoop and form into a ball with your hands. Flatten out a bit. Cook on medium low heat in a skillet for 5-10 minutes each side until browned and cooked through.
ADDITIONAL STEPS FOR MAKING LINKS
9 If you are making links, put the mixture back in the freezer and clean up again. Bring out your sausage stuffer, which should have been in the freezer or refrigerator. Run warm water through your sausage casings. This makes them easier to put on the stuffer tube and lets you know if there are any holes in the casings. Be sure to lay one edge of the flushed casings over the edge of the bowl of warm water they were in; this helps you grab them easily when you need them.
10 Slip a casing onto the stuffing tube (And yes, it is exactly like what you think it is). Leave a “tail” of at least 6 inches off the end of the tube: You need this to tie off later.
11 Take the meat from the freezer one last time and stuff it into the stuffer. If all the meat will not fit, keep it in a bowl over another bowl filled with ice, or in the fridge while you stuff in batches. Start cranking the stuffer down. Air should be the first thing that emerges – this is why you do not tie off the casing right off the bat.
12 When the meat starts to come out, use one hand to regulate how fast the casing slips off the tube; it’s a little tricky at first, but you will get the hang of it. Let the sausage come out in one long coil; you will make links later. Remember to leave 6-10 inches of “tail” at the other end of the casing. Sometimes one really long hog casing is all you need for a 5-pound batch. When the sausage is all in the casings, tie off the one end in a double knot. You could also use fine butcher’s twine.
13 With two hands, pinch off what will become two links. Work the links so they are pretty tight: You want any air bubbles to force their way to the edge of the sausage. Then spin the link you have between your fingers away from you several times. Repeat this process down the coil, only on this next link, spin it towards you several times. Continue this way, alternating, until you get to the end of the coil. Tie off the other end.
14 Almost done. Time to hang your sausages. Hang them on the rack so they don’t touch (too much), and find yourself a needle. Sterilize it by putting into a gas flame or somesuch, then look for air bubbles in the links. Prick them with the needle, and in most cases the casing will flatten itself against the link.
15 Let these dry for an hour or two, then put them in a large container in the fridge overnight, with paper towels underneath. Package them up or eat them the next day. They will keep for a week, but freeze those that will not be used by then.
Makes 5 lbs of sausage, or about 15-20 links.
Without it, there is nothing.
That’s where We come in.
Physical strength is irrelevant to us. As strong as you are, no matter how you fight, we can kill you. There is no defense from our ways; in the end we will always be successful.
We attack your mind, and rip it to nothing, bit by bit removing you memories, eventually destroying you, leaving you as a lifeless twitching pile of fat and bones.
We are the true masters of memory.
We are the true rulers of the night.
We are Dimir.
Untouchable, we have altered our ability to vanquish our opponent’s minds. Although, we did not invent the art of mind battle, we have perfected it. Nothing will ever even begin to amass to our combined power as Dimir. You might say that we have weakened since the death of our leader. You are wrong.
Because our powers are back, stronger than ever. We have spent our lives working for this exact moment.
It is the time of shadowy embrace of Our Will.
Feel that tingling in the back of your skull?
It means the Mindcrush has begun.
If a creature with mindcrush would deal damage to a player, instead that player puts that many cards from the top of his or her library into his or her graveyard.
Father's Gift x3
Father's Gift :3mana::symbu::symbu:
Instant
You may cast Father's Gift without paying it's casting cost when it is put into your graveyard from the library.
Put two colorless 1/1 thopter creatures with flying and mindcrush onto the battlefield.
Art: Seth MacFarlane
New Duskmantle x1
New Duskmantle
Legendary Land
New Duskmantle comes into the battlefield tapped, unless you put the top five cards of your library into your graveyard.
:symtap:: Add :symu::symb: to your mana pool.
:1mana::symu::symb::symtap:: Creatures you control are unblockable until the end of turn.
Art: TERA Concept Team
Sewer Scout x4
Sewer Scout :symu::symb:
Creature -- Human Scout
Mindcrush
2/1
"Embrace the Mindcrush." -- Aquajolt, Exectuive Infiltrator
Art: yoursoulmate
On One Hand // On the Other x4
On One Hand :1mana::symu:
Instant
Counter target spell unless it's controller pays :2mana:.
"I dislike what you're trying to do."
Art: Evelynn Richards
//
On the Other :1mana::symb::symb:
Instant
Destroy target creature. It can't be regenerated.
"I do not care for this, either." -- Master Marth, Mind Melter of Dimir
Art: Mike Rose
Island x8
Art: John Avon
Enchantress of the Unthinkable x4
Enchantress of the Unthinkable :1mana::symu::symb:
Creature -- Vampire Lord
Mindcrush
Other creatures with mindcrush you control get +1/+1 and have intimidate.
2/2
They don't all hide in the shadows. Some are more than willing to put up a public front of lies, if only to lure other's to their "cause".
Art: Graham Winsfred
Swamp x9
Art: Inspire Games Concept Team
Regather Our Thoughts x4
Regather Our Thoughts
Sorcery
Shuffle your graveyard into your library.
Draw a card.
Please, let me finish.
Art: static0
Overlooked Sewers x4
Overlooked Sewers
Land
Overlooked Sewers comes into the battlefield tapped.
:symtap:: Add or to your mana pool.
"After the eleventh worker went missing in three days, I decided the northwestern tunnels in the Industrial district no longer needed restoration." -- Foreman Tek Kelspin, Ravnican Urban Workers Local 466
Art: James Howard
Initiation of Erasure x2
Initiation of Erasure :1mana::symu::symb:
Instant
Target player sacrifices a creature.
Draw a card.
Resistance is futile.
Art: Octave Tassaert
Fleeting Shadows x2
Fleeting Shadows :2mana::symu::symb:
Creature -- Shade
Mindcrush
:symb:: Fleeting Shadows gets +1/+0 until the end of turn.
1/1
"Must be the shadows playing tricks on my eyes."
Art: Paul Mutton
Memogoyf x2
Memogoyf :1mana::symbu:
Creature -- Lhurgoyf
Mindcrush
Memogoyf has power and toughness equal to the number of instants and sorceries in all graveyards.
*/*+1
Memogoyfs feed off of memories, fleeting thoughts, and excrement. The Dimir like to domesticate these horrible beasts for some terrifying and unthinkable reason.
Art: vmulligan
Surge of the Dark Hivemind x3
Surge of the Dark Hivemind :2mana::symbu:
Sorcery
You may put the top five cards of your library into your graveyard instead of paying Surge of the Dark Higemind's casting cost.
Put a +1/+1 counter on each creature with mindcrush you control.
Transmute :1mana::symu::symb:
Art: sandara
Unnamed Assassin x3
Unnamed Assassin :1mana::symu::symb:
Creature -- Human Assassin
Mindcrush
Whenever an instant or sorcery is played, Unnamed Assassin gets +1/+1 until the end of turn.
1/1
Art: Jason Rhinefield
Unmemorable Altar x1
Unmemorable Altar
Artifact
Whenever a player puts number of cards from the top of his or her library into his or her graveyard, that player puts twice that many cards into their graveyard instead.
Most likely the scariest thing in the Multiverse itself. No one ever remembers what it does, though.
Art: Valle Sagrado
The House Wills It x3
The House Wills It :2mana::symu::symb:
Instant
You may put the top ten cards of your library into your graveyard instead of paying the casting cost for The House Wills It.
Counter target spell.
"No thanks, Digi. I'm sweet enough." -- Yanni
Art: Michael Kutsche
Upon Second Glimpse x3
Upon Second Glimpse :symu::symu::symb::symb:
Sorcery
Target player puts the top twenty cards of his or her library into his library into his or her graveyard.
"We can't just double the cost... can we?" --Tezzeret the 12th
Art: Digicooldad
Putting the sexy in Science Fiction!
gamertag: filthychocolate
To wit, a couple of short comics about the more complex facets of the game of Mafia!
http://media-dominaria.cursecdn.com/attachments/92/652/635032495958090500.png
http://media-dominaria.cursecdn.com/attachments/92/653/635032495958246504.png
Should the deadline be extended for whatever reason, then we reserve the right to modify our entry.
To show our respect we are happy to judge all entries!
LOL
In the event of less than 5 submissions an appropriate extension will be issued. Late entries will be penalized by one contest point for every 24 hour period past the deadline.
Clans Signed On
As we have 5 entries, contest proceeds; the other clans are disqualified.
Judging will be done by the participating clans (meaning, the ones who entered as above), selecting a 1st & 2nd place based loosely on these criteria:
Fun (Did you laugh? Is there replay value?)
New (Originality is key here!)
Wow (Quality presentation or production values shine through!)
Deadline for these votes ~1 week from the timestamp on this post!
1st Place
Clan Mono Black
Their entry, the "The Commandments of EDH" was something phenomenally creative. It was both humorous and insightful as it acknowledges that EDH and Multiplayer Magic in general is all about politics. It's simple, but does its job. Most of us wouldn't mind hanging this on our wall for all to see.
2nd place
Dimir
Their entry of a custom deck with all new custom cards was quite entrancing. The fact that they took the time to intricately describe every little thing was a great plus to anyone who was curious. Although some of the card wordings were off, and some cards could definitely use a power check, over all the Dimir really came through with a fun and flavorful idea.
Fun - Very cool!
New - It definitely looks like good mirror of Ravnica. Maybe we'll see some of these in Hook/Line/Sinker
Wow - Very cleanly done! Bit high on the power level though.
In the #1 spot, The Crafters!
Fun - Oh my what.
New - What is this I don't even.
Wow -"Fun Fact: Aurora Illumina cannot actually touch the ground."
First: [the Crafters]. Arg!
Only complaint was the white sub-titles should have been a color a bit more easy to read.
and...
Second: The Pack. Funny stuff.
Putting the sexy in Science Fiction!
gamertag: filthychocolate
1st Place: The Pack
Our clan is full of chefs, bakers, and cooks, so a recipe book is right up our alley.
2nd Place: Dimir
A very well thought out and clan appropriate set!