This story sounds mean. It's about a girl judging a boy because he's a nerd (like so many of us!) that she met on OkCupid. But that's the point: Judging people on shallow stuff is human nature, and the magic and absurdity of online dating is how immediately and directly it throws that into relief. One person's Magic is another person's fingernail biting, and no profile in the world is deep enough to account for that.
Earlier this month, I came home drunk and made an OKCupid profile. What the hell, I thought. I'm busy, I'm single, and everybody's doing it. Sure, I'd heard some stories, but what was the worst that could happen?
Two weeks into my online dating experiment, OKCupid had broken me down. It was like the online equivalent to hanging out alone in a dark, date-rapey bar. Every time I signed on, I was hit by a barrage of creepy messages. "Dem gurl u so foine, iwud lik veru much for me nd u to be marry n procreate." Or "your legs do look strong." So when I saw an IM from a guy named Jon that said, "You should go out with me :)" I was relieved. He seemed normal. I gave him my name. "Google away," I said. Then dinner was ready, and I signed off without remembering to do the same.
We met for a drink later that week. Jon was thin and tall, dressed in a hedge fund uniform with pale skin and pierced ears. We started talking about normal stuff—family, work, college. I told him my brother was a gamer. And then he casually mentioned that he played Magic: The Gathering when he was younger.
"Actually," he paused. "I'm the world champion."
I laughed. Oh that's a funny joke! I thought. This guy is funny! But the earnest look on his face told me he wasn't kidding.
I gulped my beer and thought about Magic, that strategic collectible card game involving wizards and spells and other detailed geekery. A long-forgotten fad, like pogs or something. But before I could dig deeper, we had to go. Jon had bought us tickets for a one-man show based on serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer's life story. It was not a particularly romantic evening.
The next day I Googled my date and a wealth of information flowed into my browser. A Wikipedia page! Competition videos! Fanboy forums comparing him to Chuck Norris! This guy isn't just some professional who dabbled in card games at a tender age. He's Jon mother****ing Finkel, the man who is so widely revered in the game of Magic that he's been immortalized in his own playing card.
Just like you're obligated to mention you're divorced or have a kid in your online profile, shouldn't someone also be required to disclose any indisputably geeky world championship titles? But maybe it was a long time ago? We met for round two later that week.
At dinner I got straight down to it. Did he still play? "Yes." Strike one. How often? "I'm preparing for a tournament this weekend." Strike two. Who did he hang out with? "I've met all my best friends through Magic." Strike three. I smiled and nodded and listened. Eventually I even felt a little bit bad that I didn't know **** about the game. Here was a guy who had dedicated a good chunk of his life to mastering Magic, on a date with a girl who can barely play Solitaire. This is what happens, I thought, when you leave things out of your online profile.
I later found out that Jon infiltrated his way into OKCupid dates with at least two other people I sort of know, including one of my co-workers. Mothers, warn your daughters! This could happen to you. You'll think you've found a normal bearded guy with a job, only to end up sharing goat cheese with a guy who takes you to a one-man show based on Jeffrey Dahmer's life story.
Maybe I'm an OKCupid ******* for calling it that way. Maybe I'm shallow for not being able to see past Jon's world title. I'll own that. But there's a larger point here: that judging people on shallow stuff is human nature; one person's Magic is another person's fingernail biting, or sports obsession, or verbal tic. No online dating profile in the world is comprehensive enough to highlight every person's peccadillo, or anticipate the inane biases that each of us lugs around. There's no snapshot in the world that can account for our snap judgments.
So what did I learn? Google the **** out of your next online date. Like, hardcore.
Congratulations, Alicia Bereznak. Now the internet knows you are a huge *****.
A better rendition, as rewritten on another website...
Rather than forcing you guys to read this atrocious Gizmodo article about a poor, put upon lady being forced to go out on a date with a cute dude who is very, very good at Magic: The Gathering I wrote a slightly condensed version of it for you. You’re welcome.
Earlier this morning I came home drunk AGAIN and made an OK Cupid profile because I’d overheard some people at the bar I live at frequent discussing something called the internet. They were obviously nerds so I punched them in the butt, drank my lemon drop shot and stumbled out the door thinking to myself, “I miss High School”.
The first few million thousand responses I got after logging onto OK Cupid were soooo depressing. “I can’t spell – want to make fun of me?” “You are obvs way too good to be doing this” and “OMG PRETTY PRINCESS OMG YOU ARE ONE!!!!1111 HOW DID YOU GET THAT WAY TALK MORE PLEASE” I mean, ha! I know all those things, duh. But then one caught my eye, “Hi, I am normal. I might not talk about your panties”. So he wasn’t perfect but obviously I was pretty excited.
We went to my favorite martini tapas sports bar and I was all “Hey, you look almost as good as I do!” while my date stared at my hair. But then came the talking (BORING) and oh, you guys, it was terrible. Just…HORRIFYING. He – I don’t even know how to say this – he plays some kind of nerd game. With other nerds. And they enjoy it so much they were going to keep playing it that weekend even though he could instead be spending that time with my hair and anyway it’s not even a real game – like Golden Tee or something. IT IS MAGIC THE GATHERING OH SWEET JESUS MY PORES ARE CLOGGING JUST TYPING THAT. I almost puked on him.
Seriously, the puke was right there in my mouth and I wanted to like…sick it up all over his nerd thoughts and feelings and hobbies because GROSS IT WAS JUST LIKE HE WAS A SERIAL KILLER ONLY WORSE BECAUSE I WASN’T DEAD AND STILL HAD TO HEAR ABOUT HIS STUPID BASEMENT DWELLING (HAHAHAHAA SICK BURN) HOBBY.
That is some hardcore awesome. I already knew Veronica Belmont was cool, but that is just sweet.
Remember, Gizmodo are the people who bought that iPhone 4 prototype from a guy who found it in a bar, did a big story on it, and then made sure that the guy who sold them the phone took all the blame while they got away Scott-free.
Also, Kotaku (also part of the Gawker network) had a pretty significant hand in turning the internet against Too Human before the game even came out because they took issue with the head of Silicon Knights, Denis Dyack.
Really, the whole Gawker network is crap like this. They'll do anything to get page views.
Remember, Gizmodo are the people who bought that iPhone 4 prototype from a guy who found it in a bar, did a big story on it, and then made sure that the guy who sold them the phone took all the blame while they got away Scott-free.
.....
Really, the whole Gawker network is crap like this. They'll do anything to get page views.
To be fair, they didn't let anyone take the blame. An Apple employee left the phone in a bar. Someone else found it and offered to sell it to Gizmodo. They bought it. Apple clearly knows which employee lost it because well, he didn't have it any more. He got in trouble with Apple for losing something he shouldn't have. Jason Chen (the guy who bought it and wrote about it) was arrested and had his computer, laptop, and other stuff seized. Oh, and that doesn't also include that Apple has since disallowed any member of the Gawker network to attend any official Apple events (iOS and iPad announcements, and presumably the iPhone 5 announcement to come). I wouldn't say they got off scott-free
Also, while I won't argue that Gizmodo has gone downhill, the purpose of almost every website is to generate page views to sell advertising. I won't fault Gawker for it, though that doesn't mean I won't fault Alyssa for being shallow and whatever else everyone else is already calling her.
Wow, what a *****. If anything you should be impressed that Jon Finkel was good enough at something to become world champion at it. I think the real problem is that people that won't play and don't know the game of Magic look at those of us that do play it as a child's game. When in reality it can be compared strategically to chess. Either way this girl just seems like a complete hypocrite and doesn't deserve anyone as awesome as Finkel.
Gawker (and by extension, Gizmodo) is basically the ****tiest news site in existence. I'm a news junkie so I try to read sites like Gawker, but Gawker somehow manages to publish the worst bits of journalism I've ever seen in my life, and then find something worse a week later. I'd compare it to a tabloid, but that gives Gawker far more credit as a news organization than I'd like to.
Everybody has computers, and iPhones, and cars that talk, and 1080p Blu-Ray HDDVD flatscreen 3D intergalactic plasma TVs now. Nerds kinda run **** now. Dumb ***** doesn't know how the world works.
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I write about cube and run cube drafts on magic online.
To be fair, they didn't let anyone take the blame...I wouldn't say they got off scott-free
Also, while I won't argue that Gizmodo has gone downhill, the purpose of almost every website is to generate page views to sell advertising. I won't fault Gawker for it, though that doesn't mean I won't fault Alyssa for being shallow and whatever else everyone else is already calling her.
They knew what they were buying, and yet they didn't face legal charges.
Not faulting them for doing anything to get page views is what creates these problems. They're the yellow papers of the internet, and people should go to other sources for their news. It's not like the same news stories aren't generally published on dozens of different blogs every day.
I've been lucky enough to play and meet Mr. Finkel and he was just a cool guy to talk to. Smart, knowledgeable, well-spoken, and a pretty funny dude as well. There was a time when he was your typical nerdy fella, but when he lost weight, his whole demeanor changed and you could tell his confidence on the social level grew (older players will know what I'm talkin' about).
Anyways, girl missed out. I hear he does well for himself these days, while she's just posting gossip about someone.
Anyways, girl missed out. I hear he does well for himself these days, while she's just posting gossip about someone.
She probably has some mild psychological issues, considering she both blames Objectivism for destroying her childhood while actively seeking out dates with hedge funders.
This is why shallow people piss me off and I'm glad my gf didn't give me **** for playing MtG. She actually became interested enough to play with me and my friends. To completely dismiss a guy because of his hobby when he is a sensible, decent human being is crap and really makes me lose respect for humanity. It doesn't even sound like he was forcing that on her but she asked and then he told her and she had her mind made up about him over that one silly thing. I could go on but societal expectations and the way things are portrayed between people is completely and utterly asinine sometimes. Why cant people just be good to each other?
I'd be ok with this if her argument were that she didn't want to deal with him being more dedicated to the game than her. That would be equivalent to not being able to date someone for being a workaholic, and understandable.
Instead, she decided to go the "Nerds are worse than wifebeaters and serial killers!" route, which is sad. I've only ever heard/seen good of Mr. Finkel, and would love to meet him and shake his hand some day. Not just some "Nice to meet you, let go of my hand now" shake, but a firm "Gods, I respect you so much" shake, and have him sign my favorite card, if he had the time. And, if I was ever in a match with him, I would have so much fun. It wouldn't even matter that he would whoop me, I'd be honored to have him purposely hanging out with me, becausehe just enjoyed my company.
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Currently Getting Back into the swing of MTGS. Bear with me folks~
Can I imply that she slept with Jon Finkel because it says "brief affair" pretty sure affair indicates something like that used in this context.
I bet we have a case of Jon Finkel sleeping with the girl, then never calling her again and she going bat #%^% crazy and writing this article case closed.
To be fair, it sounds like she didn't connect with his interests or particularly enjoy their first date or second date. That's a reasonable reason to not go on a third date with someone.
The "article" (we need to come up with a better name for whenever someone connects sentences together on the internet) tries a little too hard to be funny, and as a Finkle fan, I found it a little offensive. But not overtly so. She sounded impressed, and a little embarrassed even.
I don't know why this girl who is on OkCupid is so worried about having wasted her time on three dates with a world famous guy. That's what dating is.
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I'll be sad if people don't start calling The Chain Veil "Fleetwood Mac."
Wow. She sounded reasonable to me. Everyone in here seems butthurt to read affirmation that their favorite hobby is considered 'nerdy' by mainsteam media. Stop living in denial.
Oh, no, she has her reasons. I just think she was very rude, very insulting, and honestly sounds a bit narcissistic to me. "I came home drunk and made an account on an online dating site because nobody I know will date me. A world famous guy, who wasn't interested in sappy love movies or doing too much barhopping (Weird, right???), told me he played a card game and was the world champion. Later, I found out he was the world champion of some card game! Why hadn't he told me this?! <Author's note: She does actually make that point, after stating that he had in fact explicitly told her this. Yay for her being a liar =D> and just would not stand for it. If only he had had a normal hobby, like drinking, or sex. Needless to say, I dumped his nerdy, weird ass, and now I'm still single. TL;DR- Hobbies are bad, especially the nerdy ones, and Jon Finkel is a bad man for treating me like an intellectual equal instead of a whore."
My hobby is nerdy as hell. I agree with her on that.
A life with someone devoted to it, like a job(cause it can be one) is hard. I agree with her on that, 100%. I do not plan on playing competittively once I have a family/good job.
Dahmer movie=strange. Agreed. Maybe he just wanted to take her to see a scary movie like many boys do all across America(never been out in the world, so not gonna imply other cultures here, though it may be true for them too) to try and get her to hug him or something? It's a commonly known ploy =/
I can understand not liking a date or two, but this is just her ranting and trying to slander Mr. Finkel.
Also, I think it's fake, did I mention that?
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Currently Getting Back into the swing of MTGS. Bear with me folks~
Congratulations, Alicia Bereznak. Now the internet knows you are a huge *****.
*tHe CaLlOuT*
UWUW ControlUW
UGWSpiritsUGW
GHardened ScalesG
WGRUKiki PodWGRU [RIP]
Source
Both stories made me smile
QFT. What did she expect with this showing up on Gizmodo; legions of fans supporting her? Audience fail.
That is some hardcore awesome. I already knew Veronica Belmont was cool, but that is just sweet.
Remember, Gizmodo are the people who bought that iPhone 4 prototype from a guy who found it in a bar, did a big story on it, and then made sure that the guy who sold them the phone took all the blame while they got away Scott-free.
Also, Kotaku (also part of the Gawker network) had a pretty significant hand in turning the internet against Too Human before the game even came out because they took issue with the head of Silicon Knights, Denis Dyack.
Really, the whole Gawker network is crap like this. They'll do anything to get page views.
Very true.
Now, the next brilliant, accomplished man who gets set up with her can Google her name and find this article.
She's saving the world from herself.
Remaking Magic - A Podcast for those that love MTG and Game Design
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Sig-Heroes of the Plane
To be fair, they didn't let anyone take the blame. An Apple employee left the phone in a bar. Someone else found it and offered to sell it to Gizmodo. They bought it. Apple clearly knows which employee lost it because well, he didn't have it any more. He got in trouble with Apple for losing something he shouldn't have. Jason Chen (the guy who bought it and wrote about it) was arrested and had his computer, laptop, and other stuff seized. Oh, and that doesn't also include that Apple has since disallowed any member of the Gawker network to attend any official Apple events (iOS and iPad announcements, and presumably the iPhone 5 announcement to come). I wouldn't say they got off scott-free
Also, while I won't argue that Gizmodo has gone downhill, the purpose of almost every website is to generate page views to sell advertising. I won't fault Gawker for it, though that doesn't mean I won't fault Alyssa for being shallow and whatever else everyone else is already calling her.
EDH:
UBGThe MimeoplasmUBG
peasantcube.blogspot.com
They knew what they were buying, and yet they didn't face legal charges.
Not faulting them for doing anything to get page views is what creates these problems. They're the yellow papers of the internet, and people should go to other sources for their news. It's not like the same news stories aren't generally published on dozens of different blogs every day.
Anyways, girl missed out. I hear he does well for himself these days, while she's just posting gossip about someone.
She probably has some mild psychological issues, considering she both blames Objectivism for destroying her childhood while actively seeking out dates with hedge funders.
EDH:
UBGThe MimeoplasmUBG
Exactly. Would love to ask her how many tens of thousands if not hundreds of thousands of dollars that **** made off of her hobby.
Rules Advisor: 9/5/11
Old, sparsely updated because of above: Trade with me!
Weirdly, standard has been BAD since JTMS was banned, it hasn't been fun, nor healthy since.
Seriously. I'd be all over him if he swung this way *Dreamyeyes*
Instead, she decided to go the "Nerds are worse than wifebeaters and serial killers!" route, which is sad. I've only ever heard/seen good of Mr. Finkel, and would love to meet him and shake his hand some day. Not just some "Nice to meet you, let go of my hand now" shake, but a firm "Gods, I respect you so much" shake, and have him sign my favorite card, if he had the time. And, if I was ever in a match with him, I would have so much fun. It wouldn't even matter that he would whoop me, I'd be honored to have him purposely hanging out with me, becausehe just enjoyed my company.
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I bet we have a case of Jon Finkel sleeping with the girl, then never calling her again and she going bat #%^% crazy and writing this article case closed.
Feel free to bid on my cards here!
The "article" (we need to come up with a better name for whenever someone connects sentences together on the internet) tries a little too hard to be funny, and as a Finkle fan, I found it a little offensive. But not overtly so. She sounded impressed, and a little embarrassed even.
I don't know why this girl who is on OkCupid is so worried about having wasted her time on three dates with a world famous guy. That's what dating is.
My hobby is nerdy as hell. I agree with her on that.
A life with someone devoted to it, like a job(cause it can be one) is hard. I agree with her on that, 100%. I do not plan on playing competittively once I have a family/good job.
Dahmer movie=strange. Agreed. Maybe he just wanted to take her to see a scary movie like many boys do all across America(never been out in the world, so not gonna imply other cultures here, though it may be true for them too) to try and get her to hug him or something? It's a commonly known ploy =/
I can understand not liking a date or two, but this is just her ranting and trying to slander Mr. Finkel.
Also, I think it's fake, did I mention that?
Done by Rivenor of Miraculous Recovery signatures!