Hey, welcome to the plane of Kalfur a plane that was full of life until the Reptilian Hydra destroyed everything. The plane has five main groups which is the Salshou (R), the Pizar (B), the Reptilians (G), the Agrocro (U), and the Damion (W). Anyways here it is
Order
Set Size- I want a Large Set of 250
Commons-108 (20 Cards for Each Color, 6 Artifacts, 2 Lands)
Uncommons-78 (15 Cards for Each Color, 3 Artifacts)
Rares-54 (9 Cards for Each Color, 3 Artifacts, 5 Lands)
Mythics-11 (2 Cards for Each Color, 1 for Artifacts)
Set Order
Kalfur KFR
Order of the Chaplains ORC
God's Unleashed GDU
Planeswalkers
KFR- Jay Alphaus and Frusul, Master Cloner
ORC- Salta, Avatar of Fire
GDU- Radau, Ancient Wolf and Taiul, Chaplain
History
Long ago on the plane it was full of life, unity, and peace however the tribes peace was broken when the Agrocro mage, Jasiny thought he could control the Fabled Hydra Oranos. When he casted it the Hydra ate him and grew its additional head. Now its new head was different then most Hydra heads because it contained a brain. The Hydra disliked its other head and battled with itself for division. They called the Damion Giant named Croasa and he separated the Hydra into two Hydras. The two hydras named themselves Sin Omegaus and Jay Alphaus whose spark had ignited when they were separated. The two hydras wrecked havoc on all lands except that of the Reptilian's because they gave sacrifices and offerings to the beasts until a tribe of different clans joined together and cursed themselves to imprison the Hydras. Now after rebuilding the havoc caused the leader of the Orons, Miazu, and the lord of the underworld Shados thought they could control the hydras so they joined forces with the Reptilians and assaulted the land of Damion to free the beasts. The Salshou commander Rin Tuu, joined with Croasa and other Damions to prevent this. While the battle raged the Alpha Snake entered the palace and free them. This cursed all of Kalfur. However the Holder of the Book of Prophecies, Ashu G'houla, decided to join even though he is only allowed to observe.
Frusul, Master Cloner
Born on the plane of Valla, ever sense he was in his youth he was a warrior. However his path took a different direction. He learn about the secrets of replicating and cloning people and so during battles he would clone his fellow warriors to victory. Many years later when he rose in ranks a clone that he created was different than most and it fought back against his creator. While this happened his spark was ignited and he traveled to the plane of Dominaria in the land of Vesuvan where he learned to clone and replicate other things including reclics and enchantments. Traveling to other planes for power he discovered Kalfur thinking he could clone the beasts Jay Alphaus and Sin Omegaus and tame the havoc being caused.
R: The Salshou is represented by the Minotaurs, Elementals, and the Pyrons. The Pyrons will are more of the teachers, guards, and warriors to them. The Minotaurs learn from the Pyrons curse and want to be able to use it. The land of Salshoua is underneath all the havoc of the hydras. Their Kingdom of Horous however was destroyed by the hydras.
B: The Pizar is represented by the Orons and the Skeletons, and a small amount of vampires. Orons were once loyal catmen to Damion, however they disagreed with emprisoning the hydras. The lord of the Underworld blessed them power if they joined so they follow him. The Skeletons are Shados undying slaves however they have many ranks though. The Land of Pizar is altering constantly and so you will get lost if you are unwelcome. Pizar creeped over the destroyed land and it became new.
G: The Reptilians is represented by reptile creatures such as Snakes, Urazi (Dinosaurs), and Hydras. To rise in rank is to ascend form. Snakes are the lowlifes however if they live 5-10 years they become the Urazi. 50-75 years they become the hydras the kings of the Reptilians. However you may choose not to ascend. The Land of Reptilian is a over jungle with millions of new things everyday.
U: The Agrocro is represented by humans, birds, and leviathans. The humans are slaves to the leviathans and do their bidding. Ever 1000 years a new Holder of the Book of Prophecies arises, the book blesses him/her with millions of spells at hand. The Agrocro knew that the hydras were coming but didn't evacuate in time and so was destroyed. Now, they have floating islands as their homes, hoping that they can't get there.
W: The Damion is represented by Giants, Beasts and Golems. The golems serve as guards to protect the cages. Giants are considered dominant if it is born less than 3 feet while the normal is 6 feet. The land of Damion is a land of palaces and kingdoms. They have rebuilt from scratch and lives with a shadow that they will be free again.
Abilities
Burning- (Whenever ~ deals combat damage to a player put a -1/-1 counter on target creature that player controls.
Corrupted- (Whenever ~ deals combat damage to a creature gain control of that creature.
Planeswalkers with X- (If these planeswalker has X in its mana cost you may pay any amount of mana, if you do it comes into play with that many loyalty counters
Assemble- (T Assemble target contraption. ~ doesn't untap during your next untap step.
Cards
White
Croasa, Defender of Damion 3WW
Legendary Creature- Giant Warrior
Vigilance
Whenever a contraption is assembled by Croasa, Defender of Damion you gain 3 life3. T: Croasa, Defender of Damion fights target creature.
Titanic Power 4WW
Sorcery
Choose a permanent type. Then you gain life equal to twice the number of that permanent type on the battlefield. You may copy this spell for 2 beyond the first copy. If you do you may choose new targets for the spell.
Blue
Illusionary Hydra XUU
Creature- Illusion Hydra
Whenever Illusionary Hydra deals combat damage to a player you may remove a +1/+1 counter from Illusionary Hydra if you do put X 2/1 blue bird tokens with flying on the battlefield.
Whenever a spell or ability targets Illusionary Hydra, sacrifice it. 0/0
Supreme Power 4UU
Sorcery
Tap target permanent. Search your library for a card of that permanent type and put into your hand. You may copy this spell for 2 beyond the first copy. If you do you may choose new targets for the spell. “How long will it take you to reach my intellect?”
Black
Infinite Power 4BB
Sorcery
Exile target nonland permanent and each card with that permanent name. You may copy this spell for 2 beyond the first copy. If you do you may choose new targets for the spell. “The end is now, embrace it while you can” Shados, Underworld Lord
Red
Pyron Teacher 3RR
Creature- Pyron
Whenever Pyron Teacher dies, put two +1/+1 on target creature. 3/3
Rin Tuu, Minotaur Lord 5RR
Legendary Creature- Minotaur Warrior
Haste, First Strike
Other Red creatures get +X/+X whenever Rin Tuu, Minotaur Lord attacks.
Whenever Rin Tuu, Minotaur Lord deals combat damage to a player, it deals that much damage to a creature that player controls. 4/4
Ultimate Power 4RR
Sorcery
Ultimate Power deals 6 damage to each creature and each player. You may copy this spell for 2 beyond the first copy.
“Ah, do you feel the end burning in your heart?”
Green
Reptilian Carnivore 1GG
Creature- Urazi
Whenever Reptilian Carnivore enters the battlefield, sacrifice it unless you sacrifice a creature.4/3
Jay Alphaus XGGG
Planeswalker- Alphaus
Jay Alphaus comes into play with X loyalty counters.
+2: Put three +1/+1 counters on target permanent if it wasn’t a creature it becomes a 0/0 creature.
-4: Destroy target permanent without a +1/+1 counter on it.
-8: Target creature becomes a 0/0 green hydra creature with eight +1/+1 counters on it.
X
Sin Omegaus 5GGG
Legendary Creature- Hydra
Trample
Whenever you cast another Hydra, put three +1/+1 counters on each green creature you control.
Whenever Sin Omegaus attacks destroy target noncreature permanent. 9/6
Beastial Power 4GG
Sorcery
Choose target creature. Then put X 3/3 beast tokens on the battlefield where X is that creature’s power. You may copy this spell for 2 beyond the first copy. If you do you may choose new targets for the spell.
Other
Riptide Shade 1UBB
Creature -- Shade
Corrupted
When Riptide Shade dies, each opponent loses life equal to its power.2/2
Cunning Thief 1UB
Creature- Human
Corrupted
Whenever Cunning Thief deals combat damage to a player draw a card. 2/1
Burning Rain Forest
Land
Burning Rain Forest enters the battlefield tapped with a battle rune for each land you control.
T: Add 1 to your mana pool.
T: Remove all battle runes from Burning Rain Forest for each battle rune removed add a combination of R or G for battle rune removed.
Charging Underground
Land
Charging Underground enters the battlefield tapped with a battle rune for each land you control.
T: Add 1 to your mana pool.
T: Remove all battle runes from Charging Underground for each battle rune removed add a combination of B or R for battle rune removed.
Giant's Cliffs
Land
Giant’s Cliffs enters the battlefield tapped with a battle rune for each land you control.
T: Add 1 to your mana pool.
T: Remove all battle runes from Giant’s Cliffs for each battle rune removed add a combination of W or U for battle rune removed.
Skullpit Bog
Land
Skullpit Bog enters the battlefield tapped with a battle rune for each land you control.
T: Add 1 to your mana pool.
T: Remove all battle runes from Skullpit Bog for each battle rune removed add a combination of U or B for battle rune removed.
Wild Snake Refuge
Land
Wild Snake Refuge enters the battlefield tapped with a battle rune for each land you control.
T: Add 1 to your mana pool.
T: Remove all battle runes from Wild Snake Refuge for each battle rune removed add a combination of W or G for battle rune removed.
Shados, Underworld Lord 4UBB
Legendary Creature- Demon Leviathan
Unblockable
Whenever Shados, Underworld Lord deals combat damage to a player, return target permanent from a graveyard to play under your control. 5/5
Burning - This makes X/1 creatures unplayable in this set. Ditch it and geta new mechanic.
Corrupted - As worded this would only appear on low power creatures (otherwise the stolen guy just dies). Also, why only until EOT? I recommend this: "If this creature would deal combat damage to a creature, instead you gain control of that creature."
X cost - Whenever you have X in a cost you must specify what X is doing in the ability text. This will add a fourth text box to many PWs so keep that in mind.
Assemble - Contraptions! Why are they in this set?!
CARDS
Croasa - White fighting creatures and giving you mana? Wha?
Titanic Power - Use Replicate wording (even if you don't end up using the Replicate ability). Also, I get what you meant, but this spell doesn't target.
Illusionary Hydra - Um, why on earth are you going to give your opponent flyers? What a pointless ability.
Supreme Power - Nice. "Search your library for a card that shares a card type with the tapped permanent, reveal that card and put it into your hand, then shuffle your library."
Infinite Power - Rather than destroy then exile, why not just exile them? This is rather strong.
Pyron Teacher - Interesting ability for red, but sure.
Rin Tuu - The pumping ability doesn't make sense as static ability as the creature's power continually resets to the new high level. Make it triggered (e.g. attacking) or something. I like how FS means it can technically 'save' one of your blocked creatures in combat.
Ultimate Power - These card names are just synonyms; how on earth is someone supposed to tell them apart? This one is stupidly good, and there's often not much difference between dealing 6 or 12 damage to creatures. Will end games in stalemates too easily.
Reptilian Carnivore - Seems black or even red.
Jay Alphaeus - The plus ability is very strong, so how about just 2 counters? I like that he turns anything into a dude, but you might also want to give it a creature type. Destroying creatures so directly isn't part of green's repertoire. The final ability should mention that you put 8 counters on that permanent.
Bestial Power - This can net you a ridiculous number of 3/3s without even having to copy it. Redo the base ability. Also note spelling.
Riptide Shade - Pity being unblockable makes it harder to kill. Otherwise fine, though could it be just 1UB please?
Thanks man, I understand what was said. What do you think of Sin? Also Jay's destroying part to him was saying about the havoc he caused to the plane of Kalfur. Will change them when I get a chance.
Please give me more suggestions that are accepted with gratitude
No worries - sorry if some of them abrupt, I'm just saying what comes to me the first time I see them.
Sin Omegaus - Huge green fatties are fun. I wouldn't ever use the tap ability as I'd rather just attack with my 8 cost 9 power guy. Also, could he pump himself? You've paid 8 and hydras aren't easy to come by. The general wording could use a redo too. Maybe try:
Trample
Whenever you cast a Hydra spell, put three +1/+1 counters on each green creature you control.
Whenever ~ attacks, you may destroy target noncreature permanent.
This way it gets bigger swiftly and can swing for damage constantly whilst still taking out stuff.
Private Mod Note
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Gaymer
Custom Card / Set Reviewer
When reviewing custom cards / sets, I look for (a) flavour, (b) function, and (c) cohesiveness, generally through a risk focus.
Thanks man, Sin Omegaus Will now be like what you just said. It is now Updated however I don't have time to post more cards witch I really want to do. When I get some time I will show you the other planeswalker Frusul, Master Cloner. I have to create a origin for him, but it will come soon. I thinking he came from the plane of Valla from the plane card Immursturm if you didn't know, where wars are always happening. Assemble in this set is to represent the golems and artifacts that were built using relics of old. Burning now is (Whenever ~ deals combat damage to a player put a -1/-1 counter on target creature that player controls). Corrupted is now like what you said. Thanks and i am fine with suggestions :). More History on each character and each race will come in the future. Would for the Battle Rune lands would returning 2 lands then adding the runes be better?
Blazing Pyron R (U)
Creature-Pyron
Burning (Whenever this card deals combat damage to a player put a -1/-1 counter on target creature that player controls.)
1/1
Frusul’s Plan 4UUU (R)
Enchantment
When a copy enters the battlefield, Frusul’s Plan becomes a copy of target permanent until end of turn.
Falcon Striker 4GU (R)
Creature- Bird Beast
Flying
When Falcon Striker leaves play put a 4/4 green Urazi token with whenever this token deals damage put a +1/+1 counter on it.
4/4
The Book of Corruption 4BBB (M)
Enchantment
T: Put a 2/2 black Skeleton token into play. Gain control of target creature.
BBB: Sacrifice The Book of Corruption, Sacrifice each creature you control, each other player sacrifice a creature and discards a card for each creature sacrifice this way.
Pyron Sphinx 3RR (M)
Creature- Pyron Sphinx
Flying
At the beginning of each upkeep Pyron Sphinx deals damage to each other player equal to the number of red creatures you control.
5/5
Groul, Tidal Leviathan 6UUU (M)
Legendary Creature- Leviathan
When a blue creature attacks alone exile all nonland permanents, then return them to play at you end step.
T: Exile target creature then return it to play under your control.
7/7
Snake Sliversmith 3G (U)
Creature-Snake Artificer
Whenever a Contraption comes into play or is assembled add G to your mana pool.
2/2
Lost Relic 3 (C)
Artifact
Assemble 1 (When this card comes into play it comes into play with that many Assemble counters on it when the last one is removed you may use its abilities.)
T: Add one mana of any color to your mana pool.
Frusul’s Plan - Whenever a copy? I don't get what this does, nor why.
Falcon Striker - Um, sure, though weird. Falcons tend to be small, white-aligned guys.
The Book of Corruption The first ability is ridiculously strong, and requires tapping an enchantment (frightful business). This card sounds more artifact-y. Also, I don't quite understand why it does things. If it were legendary and fit into a storyline that's fine, but if it's just a bunch of powerful effects thrown together than it'd be nicer to see them feel more cohesive.
Pyron Sphinx - Whoa! Incredibly strong. Whilst I dislike cards which have clearly been boosted in power to fit their mythic-ness, WotC has done this with Baneslayer Angel and Thundermaw Hellkite so this is might be okay (I dislike both of those cards for that reason).
Groul, Tidal Leviathan - Exile all "nonland permanents other than that creature". Also, this doesn't need the second ability, strong as it is; this guy will either be attacking or exiled temporarily, thus resetting its summoning sickness, and when you exile creatures with the first ability the stolen guy will just come back on the opponent's team again. Means you can drop the cost too! I must say, this is a really cool take on unblockability.
Snake Sliversmith - Um, sure. Silversmith, I think you mean. But who would make a contraption out of silver? Also, does it want to be able to do any assembling itself?
Lost Relic - Ahh, interesting take on assembling I've not seen before. This is a bad Manalith so drop cost to 1 I say. Also, maybe reword the mechanic: Assemble N (This enters the battlefield with N assemble counters on it. Its abilities cannot be activated as long as there is an assemble counter on it.)
At this stage I think it would be good to see some of your simpler designs (i.e. commons showcasing set themes), as with only complex ones to go by this set is looking a tad confusing.
Private Mod Note
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Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Gaymer
Custom Card / Set Reviewer
When reviewing custom cards / sets, I look for (a) flavour, (b) function, and (c) cohesiveness, generally through a risk focus.
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Order
Set Size- I want a Large Set of 250
Commons-108 (20 Cards for Each Color, 6 Artifacts, 2 Lands)
Uncommons-78 (15 Cards for Each Color, 3 Artifacts)
Rares-54 (9 Cards for Each Color, 3 Artifacts, 5 Lands)
Mythics-11 (2 Cards for Each Color, 1 for Artifacts)
Set Order
Order of the Chaplains ORC
God's Unleashed GDU
Planeswalkers
ORC- Salta, Avatar of Fire
GDU- Radau, Ancient Wolf and Taiul, Chaplain
History
Frusul, Master Cloner
R: The Salshou is represented by the Minotaurs, Elementals, and the Pyrons. The Pyrons will are more of the teachers, guards, and warriors to them. The Minotaurs learn from the Pyrons curse and want to be able to use it. The land of Salshoua is underneath all the havoc of the hydras. Their Kingdom of Horous however was destroyed by the hydras.
B: The Pizar is represented by the Orons and the Skeletons, and a small amount of vampires. Orons were once loyal catmen to Damion, however they disagreed with emprisoning the hydras. The lord of the Underworld blessed them power if they joined so they follow him. The Skeletons are Shados undying slaves however they have many ranks though. The Land of Pizar is altering constantly and so you will get lost if you are unwelcome. Pizar creeped over the destroyed land and it became new.
G: The Reptilians is represented by reptile creatures such as Snakes, Urazi (Dinosaurs), and Hydras. To rise in rank is to ascend form. Snakes are the lowlifes however if they live 5-10 years they become the Urazi. 50-75 years they become the hydras the kings of the Reptilians. However you may choose not to ascend. The Land of Reptilian is a over jungle with millions of new things everyday.
U: The Agrocro is represented by humans, birds, and leviathans. The humans are slaves to the leviathans and do their bidding. Ever 1000 years a new Holder of the Book of Prophecies arises, the book blesses him/her with millions of spells at hand. The Agrocro knew that the hydras were coming but didn't evacuate in time and so was destroyed. Now, they have floating islands as their homes, hoping that they can't get there.
W: The Damion is represented by Giants, Beasts and Golems. The golems serve as guards to protect the cages. Giants are considered dominant if it is born less than 3 feet while the normal is 6 feet. The land of Damion is a land of palaces and kingdoms. They have rebuilt from scratch and lives with a shadow that they will be free again.
Abilities
Corrupted- (Whenever ~ deals combat damage to a creature gain control of that creature.
Planeswalkers with X- (If these planeswalker has X in its mana cost you may pay any amount of mana, if you do it comes into play with that many loyalty counters
Assemble- (T Assemble target contraption. ~ doesn't untap during your next untap step.
Cards
White
Croasa, Defender of Damion 3WW
Legendary Creature- Giant Warrior
Vigilance
Whenever a contraption is assembled by Croasa, Defender of Damion you gain 3 life3.
T: Croasa, Defender of Damion fights target creature.
Titanic Power 4WW
Sorcery
Choose a permanent type. Then you gain life equal to twice the number of that permanent type on the battlefield. You may copy this spell for 2 beyond the first copy. If you do you may choose new targets for the spell.
Blue
Illusionary Hydra XUU
Creature- Illusion Hydra
Whenever Illusionary Hydra deals combat damage to a player you may remove a +1/+1 counter from Illusionary Hydra if you do put X 2/1 blue bird tokens with flying on the battlefield.
Whenever a spell or ability targets Illusionary Hydra, sacrifice it. 0/0
Supreme Power 4UU
Sorcery
Tap target permanent. Search your library for a card of that permanent type and put into your hand. You may copy this spell for 2 beyond the first copy. If you do you may choose new targets for the spell.
“How long will it take you to reach my intellect?”
Black
Sorcery
Exile target nonland permanent and each card with that permanent name. You may copy this spell for 2 beyond the first copy. If you do you may choose new targets for the spell.
“The end is now, embrace it while you can” Shados, Underworld Lord
Red
Creature- Pyron
Whenever Pyron Teacher dies, put two +1/+1 on target creature. 3/3
Rin Tuu, Minotaur Lord 5RR
Legendary Creature- Minotaur Warrior
Haste, First Strike
Other Red creatures get +X/+X whenever Rin Tuu, Minotaur Lord attacks.
Whenever Rin Tuu, Minotaur Lord deals combat damage to a player, it deals that much damage to a creature that player controls. 4/4
Ultimate Power 4RR
Sorcery
Ultimate Power deals 6 damage to each creature and each player. You may copy this spell for 2 beyond the first copy.
“Ah, do you feel the end burning in your heart?”
Green
Creature- Urazi
Whenever Reptilian Carnivore enters the battlefield, sacrifice it unless you sacrifice a creature.4/3
Jay Alphaus XGGG
Planeswalker- Alphaus
Jay Alphaus comes into play with X loyalty counters.
+2: Put three +1/+1 counters on target permanent if it wasn’t a creature it becomes a 0/0 creature.
-4: Destroy target permanent without a +1/+1 counter on it.
-8: Target creature becomes a 0/0 green hydra creature with eight +1/+1 counters on it.
X
Sin Omegaus 5GGG
Legendary Creature- Hydra
Trample
Whenever you cast another Hydra, put three +1/+1 counters on each green creature you control.
Whenever Sin Omegaus attacks destroy target noncreature permanent. 9/6
Beastial Power 4GG
Sorcery
Choose target creature. Then put X 3/3 beast tokens on the battlefield where X is that creature’s power. You may copy this spell for 2 beyond the first copy. If you do you may choose new targets for the spell.
Other
Creature -- Shade
Corrupted
When Riptide Shade dies, each opponent loses life equal to its power.2/2
Cunning Thief 1UB
Creature- Human
Corrupted
Whenever Cunning Thief deals combat damage to a player draw a card. 2/1
Burning Rain Forest
Land
Burning Rain Forest enters the battlefield tapped with a battle rune for each land you control.
T: Add 1 to your mana pool.
T: Remove all battle runes from Burning Rain Forest for each battle rune removed add a combination of R or G for battle rune removed.
Charging Underground
Land
Charging Underground enters the battlefield tapped with a battle rune for each land you control.
T: Add 1 to your mana pool.
T: Remove all battle runes from Charging Underground for each battle rune removed add a combination of B or R for battle rune removed.
Giant's Cliffs
Land
Giant’s Cliffs enters the battlefield tapped with a battle rune for each land you control.
T: Add 1 to your mana pool.
T: Remove all battle runes from Giant’s Cliffs for each battle rune removed add a combination of W or U for battle rune removed.
Skullpit Bog
Land
Skullpit Bog enters the battlefield tapped with a battle rune for each land you control.
T: Add 1 to your mana pool.
T: Remove all battle runes from Skullpit Bog for each battle rune removed add a combination of U or B for battle rune removed.
Wild Snake Refuge
Land
Wild Snake Refuge enters the battlefield tapped with a battle rune for each land you control.
T: Add 1 to your mana pool.
T: Remove all battle runes from Wild Snake Refuge for each battle rune removed add a combination of W or G for battle rune removed.
Shados, Underworld Lord 4UBB
Legendary Creature- Demon Leviathan
Unblockable
Whenever Shados, Underworld Lord deals combat damage to a player, return target permanent from a graveyard to play under your control. 5/5
More Cards and more information are coming!
The Ur-Dragon's Tyranny
Karador, Ghost of the Golgari
Niv-Mizzet, Izzet Mastermind
Thromok's Barbecue, Come Get Some!
Sedris's Hand of the Dead
Wort, the Queen of Boggarts
Rafiq, King of Jerkish Nature
Standard Decks
Jund Midrange
Narset 5 Color
Mono-Green Devotion
Naya Beasts
WR Burn
Modern Decks
Izzet Fiend
Affinity for Green
The Ur-Dragon's Tyranny
Karador, Ghost of the Golgari
Niv-Mizzet, Izzet Mastermind
Thromok's Barbecue, Come Get Some!
Sedris's Hand of the Dead
Wort, the Queen of Boggarts
Rafiq, King of Jerkish Nature
Standard Decks
Jund Midrange
Narset 5 Color
Mono-Green Devotion
Naya Beasts
WR Burn
Modern Decks
Izzet Fiend
Affinity for Green
Burning - This makes X/1 creatures unplayable in this set. Ditch it and geta new mechanic.
Corrupted - As worded this would only appear on low power creatures (otherwise the stolen guy just dies). Also, why only until EOT? I recommend this: "If this creature would deal combat damage to a creature, instead you gain control of that creature."
X cost - Whenever you have X in a cost you must specify what X is doing in the ability text. This will add a fourth text box to many PWs so keep that in mind.
Assemble - Contraptions! Why are they in this set?!
CARDS
Croasa - White fighting creatures and giving you mana? Wha?
Titanic Power - Use Replicate wording (even if you don't end up using the Replicate ability). Also, I get what you meant, but this spell doesn't target.
Illusionary Hydra - Um, why on earth are you going to give your opponent flyers? What a pointless ability.
Supreme Power - Nice. "Search your library for a card that shares a card type with the tapped permanent, reveal that card and put it into your hand, then shuffle your library."
Infinite Power - Rather than destroy then exile, why not just exile them? This is rather strong.
Pyron Teacher - Interesting ability for red, but sure.
Rin Tuu - The pumping ability doesn't make sense as static ability as the creature's power continually resets to the new high level. Make it triggered (e.g. attacking) or something. I like how FS means it can technically 'save' one of your blocked creatures in combat.
Ultimate Power - These card names are just synonyms; how on earth is someone supposed to tell them apart? This one is stupidly good, and there's often not much difference between dealing 6 or 12 damage to creatures. Will end games in stalemates too easily.
Reptilian Carnivore - Seems black or even red.
Jay Alphaeus - The plus ability is very strong, so how about just 2 counters? I like that he turns anything into a dude, but you might also want to give it a creature type. Destroying creatures so directly isn't part of green's repertoire. The final ability should mention that you put 8 counters on that permanent.
Bestial Power - This can net you a ridiculous number of 3/3s without even having to copy it. Redo the base ability. Also note spelling.
Riptide Shade - Pity being unblockable makes it harder to kill. Otherwise fine, though could it be just 1UB please?
Cunning Thief - Dimir Cutpurse, Shadowmage Infiltrator and even Neurok Commando are generally better. Maybe some boost or evasion of sorts?
Battle Rune lands - These give you an enormous one turn mana boost without you having to wait for it. I don't like where that's going.
Shados - Nasty! Fun Commander.
Custom Card / Set Reviewer
When reviewing custom cards / sets, I look for (a) flavour, (b) function, and (c) cohesiveness, generally through a risk focus.
Please give me more suggestions that are accepted with gratitude
The Ur-Dragon's Tyranny
Karador, Ghost of the Golgari
Niv-Mizzet, Izzet Mastermind
Thromok's Barbecue, Come Get Some!
Sedris's Hand of the Dead
Wort, the Queen of Boggarts
Rafiq, King of Jerkish Nature
Standard Decks
Jund Midrange
Narset 5 Color
Mono-Green Devotion
Naya Beasts
WR Burn
Modern Decks
Izzet Fiend
Affinity for Green
Sin Omegaus - Huge green fatties are fun. I wouldn't ever use the tap ability as I'd rather just attack with my 8 cost 9 power guy. Also, could he pump himself? You've paid 8 and hydras aren't easy to come by. The general wording could use a redo too. Maybe try:
Trample
Whenever you cast a Hydra spell, put three +1/+1 counters on each green creature you control.
Whenever ~ attacks, you may destroy target noncreature permanent.
This way it gets bigger swiftly and can swing for damage constantly whilst still taking out stuff.
Custom Card / Set Reviewer
When reviewing custom cards / sets, I look for (a) flavour, (b) function, and (c) cohesiveness, generally through a risk focus.
The Ur-Dragon's Tyranny
Karador, Ghost of the Golgari
Niv-Mizzet, Izzet Mastermind
Thromok's Barbecue, Come Get Some!
Sedris's Hand of the Dead
Wort, the Queen of Boggarts
Rafiq, King of Jerkish Nature
Standard Decks
Jund Midrange
Narset 5 Color
Mono-Green Devotion
Naya Beasts
WR Burn
Modern Decks
Izzet Fiend
Affinity for Green
The Ur-Dragon's Tyranny
Karador, Ghost of the Golgari
Niv-Mizzet, Izzet Mastermind
Thromok's Barbecue, Come Get Some!
Sedris's Hand of the Dead
Wort, the Queen of Boggarts
Rafiq, King of Jerkish Nature
Standard Decks
Jund Midrange
Narset 5 Color
Mono-Green Devotion
Naya Beasts
WR Burn
Modern Decks
Izzet Fiend
Affinity for Green
Blazing Pyron R (U)
Creature-Pyron
Burning (Whenever this card deals combat damage to a player put a -1/-1 counter on target creature that player controls.)
1/1
Frusul’s Plan 4UUU (R)
Enchantment
When a copy enters the battlefield, Frusul’s Plan becomes a copy of target permanent until end of turn.
Falcon Striker 4GU (R)
Creature- Bird Beast
Flying
When Falcon Striker leaves play put a 4/4 green Urazi token with whenever this token deals damage put a +1/+1 counter on it.
4/4
The Book of Corruption 4BBB (M)
Enchantment
T: Put a 2/2 black Skeleton token into play. Gain control of target creature.
BBB: Sacrifice The Book of Corruption, Sacrifice each creature you control, each other player sacrifice a creature and discards a card for each creature sacrifice this way.
Pyron Sphinx 3RR (M)
Creature- Pyron Sphinx
Flying
At the beginning of each upkeep Pyron Sphinx deals damage to each other player equal to the number of red creatures you control.
5/5
Groul, Tidal Leviathan 6UUU (M)
Legendary Creature- Leviathan
When a blue creature attacks alone exile all nonland permanents, then return them to play at you end step.
T: Exile target creature then return it to play under your control.
7/7
Snake Sliversmith 3G (U)
Creature-Snake Artificer
Whenever a Contraption comes into play or is assembled add G to your mana pool.
2/2
Lost Relic 3 (C)
Artifact
Assemble 1 (When this card comes into play it comes into play with that many Assemble counters on it when the last one is removed you may use its abilities.)
T: Add one mana of any color to your mana pool.
Please continue to help
The Ur-Dragon's Tyranny
Karador, Ghost of the Golgari
Niv-Mizzet, Izzet Mastermind
Thromok's Barbecue, Come Get Some!
Sedris's Hand of the Dead
Wort, the Queen of Boggarts
Rafiq, King of Jerkish Nature
Standard Decks
Jund Midrange
Narset 5 Color
Mono-Green Devotion
Naya Beasts
WR Burn
Modern Decks
Izzet Fiend
Affinity for Green
Blazing Pyron - The lowly Spark Mage finally got beat. Nice.
Frusul’s Plan - Whenever a copy? I don't get what this does, nor why.
Falcon Striker - Um, sure, though weird. Falcons tend to be small, white-aligned guys.
The Book of Corruption The first ability is ridiculously strong, and requires tapping an enchantment (frightful business). This card sounds more artifact-y. Also, I don't quite understand why it does things. If it were legendary and fit into a storyline that's fine, but if it's just a bunch of powerful effects thrown together than it'd be nicer to see them feel more cohesive.
Pyron Sphinx - Whoa! Incredibly strong. Whilst I dislike cards which have clearly been boosted in power to fit their mythic-ness, WotC has done this with Baneslayer Angel and Thundermaw Hellkite so this is might be okay (I dislike both of those cards for that reason).
Groul, Tidal Leviathan - Exile all "nonland permanents other than that creature". Also, this doesn't need the second ability, strong as it is; this guy will either be attacking or exiled temporarily, thus resetting its summoning sickness, and when you exile creatures with the first ability the stolen guy will just come back on the opponent's team again. Means you can drop the cost too! I must say, this is a really cool take on unblockability.
Snake Sliversmith - Um, sure. Silversmith, I think you mean. But who would make a contraption out of silver? Also, does it want to be able to do any assembling itself?
Lost Relic - Ahh, interesting take on assembling I've not seen before. This is a bad Manalith so drop cost to 1 I say. Also, maybe reword the mechanic: Assemble N (This enters the battlefield with N assemble counters on it. Its abilities cannot be activated as long as there is an assemble counter on it.)
At this stage I think it would be good to see some of your simpler designs (i.e. commons showcasing set themes), as with only complex ones to go by this set is looking a tad confusing.
Custom Card / Set Reviewer
When reviewing custom cards / sets, I look for (a) flavour, (b) function, and (c) cohesiveness, generally through a risk focus.