Currently I don't have a name for it or anything, I've only designed a few cards, and so far only have 2 keywords
which is called Support
So far I Only have 1 card with support. You can see what it does on the card
"Xaltir's Bodyguard"
The other is called Keeper. Keeper allows you to pay a creatures Keeper cost at the beginning of your upkeep and puts a 1/1 creature token of the same type and color. Garnus Dragon has the ability if I suck at explaining it
All suggestions are welcome(especially grammar, and magic text)
I don't have a storyline as of right now. I hope you guys like it
Corrections:
I forgot to fix Sempta, It should read "When ~ comes into play reveal the top 4 cards of your library. You may put 1 permanent into play tapped, and the rest into your graveyard"
Sempta, Princess of Zal 1UU
Legendary Creature - Human Paladin
Sempta cannot be countered.
When Sempta comes into play, reveal the top 4 cards of your library. You may put an artifact, creature, land, or enchantment card* revealed this way into play tapped. Put the rest in your graveyard.
Menkara, the Golden City
Legendary Land
T: Add W to your mana pool. If it was spent on a creature spell, that creature comes into play with a +1/+1 counter on it.
Garg, Beast Master of Rurn
Legendary Creature - Warrior*
Trample
2R,T:Put a creature card from your hand into play. It has haste. Sacrifice it at end of turn
*Human Warrior?
**This is pretty broken. A 5/5 for 4 is perhaps too powerful to begin with, but trample and an elvish piperish ability make it a tad too good. Although there is the double red in its cost and it is legendary, I still think its too powerful.
Knight of the Heavens WUB*
Creature - Guardian Knight**
Flying
When Knight of the Heavens comes into play, choose one: draw 2 cards and lose 4 life, or discard 2 cards and gain 5 life.
3/3
*a black creature with heavens in its name?
**another creature type? Human Guardian Knight
Why aren't you crediting the artists on the cards? That always makes me sad, since you're making use of someone else's work. Even if you don't know who they are, atleast put an "Unknown" so you don't have a big empty space on your cards.
You've also got formatting errors all over; I'll talk more on that later when I have time.
Well, Garg isn't too overpowered. Each set needs a few really powerful things (See Akroma, Teferi,) so I think a 3RR would be fine. If you think about it, trample and legendary roughly cancel each other out, and why spend 3 mana for a creature you would lose at end of turn if you could just swing in for 5 trample?
Or, you could just leave his cost as is and make him a 5/3 or 5/4.
Last call is really bad. It makes you actually lose card advantage in the long run. I suggest making it cost around 4 mana. 2UU and it'll see play.
As for the artists, if you don't know who they are... put 'unknown'. It's more professional than a blank.
Good mechanics overall. There are a couple wording issues though. But most of them, Aristotle has already touched on. I'm currently on a hiatus on my set so maybe i'll help around here for a bit. Give me awhile, i'll post all the wording issues i can think of.
I would make one minor change to Xaltir's Bodyguard, just a formatting issue. Only the first word in a chain of keywords is capitalized.
Xaltir's Bodyguard 2WWW
Creature - Angel Paladin
Flash, flying
Support - Remove X minus 2 attacking creatures from the game
4/4
I'd say Aristotle nailed Temple of Jex.
As for Sempta, again, a minor change. My understanding is that a legend uses its full name the first time it refers to itself, then just the shorter version every time after that. So...
Sempta, Princess of Zal 1UU
Legendary Creature - Human Paladin
~ cannot be countered.
When Sempta comes into play, reveal the top 4 cards of your library. You may put a permanent card revealed this way into play tapped. Put the rest in your graveyard.
Ditto on Dwarven Pathfinder and Menkara. But Garg has a few oh so minor errors. It is powerful, but I agree that its not so bad.
Garg, Beast Master of Rurn
Legendary Creature - Human Warrior
Trample
2R, T:Put a creature card from your hand into play. It has haste. Sacrifice it at end of turn.
Knight of the Skies needs some minor correcting.
Knight of the Skies WUB
Creature - Guardian Knight
Flying
When ~ comes into play, choose one--Draw two cards and lose 4 life; or discard two cards and gain 5 life.
3/3
The intended version of Menkara's Calvary only taps non-white creatures, not white creatures.
Menkara's Cavalry 1W
Creature - Knight*
Support - Tap X plus 1 non-white creatures.
1/1
And I think he intends Keeper to work on non-Dragons as well. So perhaps this:
Keeper [cost] (At the beginning of your upkeep you may pay [cost]. If you do, put a 1/1 creature token of the same color and type as this creature into play.)
Also, Keeper shouldn't be capitalized on the Garnus Dragon. So perhaps you should consider putting it on its own line, separate from flying so you can have it with remidner text and still have proper formatting as well. For an example of what I mean, see any card with Morph.
White Lightning 2W
Instant (C)
~ deals 2 damage to target creature that has attacked and dealt combat damage this turn.
I would perhaps lower the cost by 1.
Last Call - I ditto Aristotle on the cost.
As for wording, not so sure... Perhaps:
Last Call
Sorcery.
Draw 4 cards. For the next five turns, if you would draw a card, instead you don't.
Xaltir’s Bodyguard 2WWW Creature – Angel Paladin
Flash, flying
Support – Remove X-2 attacking creatures from the game (When this creature comes into play, remove X-2 attacking creatures from the game where X is the number of other creatures with support you control.)
4/4
Or
Xaltir’s Bodyguard 2WWW Creature – Angel Paladin
Flash, flying
Support – Remove X-3 attacking creatures from the game (When this creature comes into play, remove X-3 attacking creatures from the game where X is the number of creatures with support you control.)
4/4
Same effect and it’s shorter by a word. Shorter is better in MTG. First of all, this is a great mechanic. The problem I see is that it’s a bit wordy. But it’s fine as is. Balance is fine as well.
Temple of Jex Legendary land t: Add GG to your mana pool. Put a +1/+1 counter on an opponent’s creature.
No wording issues and it’s good that Aristotle suggested on making it legendary. It’s heaps overpowered. This card is 2 mana and if you’re going first or your opponent is playing slow-game this land will hurt heaps. Imagine this in an MGA deck. First turn this and you drop two Llanowar elves while he still has no creatures in play. I suggest that it either has to come into play tapped or it has to give a token. A nice touch would be...
Temple of Jex Legendary land t, put a +1/+1 counter on a creature of target opponent’s choice: Add GG to your mana pool.
That way, there’s a bit more of a drawback but if you find a way to keep his off the field, you can use this for combo purposes.
Sempta, Princess of Zal 1UU Legendary Creature – Human Paladin
Sempta, Princess of Zal can’t be countered.
When Sempta comes into play, reveal the top 4 cards of your library. You may put 1 permanent into play tapped and the rest into your graveyard.
1/1
This card is a bit powerful actually. But she’s legendary. The thing is, you don’t need her to stick around. She looks like a sorcery to me. Because coming into play doesn’t stop you from playing another from your hand. So they both die, you get possible combo or fattie advantage. And it can’t be countered. Maybe cost her 1 more and pump her toughness up? I dunno.
Sempta, Princess of Zal 2UU Legendary Creature – Human Paladin
Sempta, Princess of Zal can’t be countered.
When Sempta comes into play, reveal the top 4 cards of your library. You may put 1 permanent into play tapped and the rest into your graveyard.
1/3
That might work but you might not like it as much.
Thats basically how it’s phrased as per Dryad Sophisticate. You could drop its overall cc to 1R. Maybe you can add a second creature type to it as well. ‘Scout’ fits well for this card, I think.
which is called Support
So far I Only have 1 card with support. You can see what it does on the card
"Xaltir's Bodyguard"
The other is called Keeper. Keeper allows you to pay a creatures Keeper cost at the beginning of your upkeep and puts a 1/1 creature token of the same type and color. Garnus Dragon has the ability if I suck at explaining it
All suggestions are welcome(especially grammar, and magic text)
I don't have a storyline as of right now. I hope you guys like it
Corrections:
I forgot to fix Sempta, It should read "When ~ comes into play reveal the top 4 cards of your library. You may put 1 permanent into play tapped, and the rest into your graveyard"
Temple of Jex is Legendary
Menkara is a rare
Garg is a 5/3
Knight of the Heavens is now Knight of the Skies
Last Call costs 1UU
thank you Aristotle for your help
Le Gambit @ Aether did this banner
[NYC Dark Knights]
join today
Le Gambit @ Aether did this banner
[NYC Dark Knights]
join today
Cool ideas. I'm not sure exactly how support works, but that will probably be sorted out as you come up with more cards.
i'll make a few posts, hopefully with correct wordings; a lot of your cards have wording problems.
Creature - Angel Paladin
Flash, Flying
Support - Remove X minus 2 attacking creatures from the game
4/4
Land
T: Add GG to your mana pool. Put a +1/+1 counter on target* creature an opponent controls.
*if your opponents don't control any creatures, you can't play the ability.
Legendary Creature - Human Paladin
Sempta cannot be countered.
When Sempta comes into play, reveal the top 4 cards of your library. You may put an artifact, creature, land, or enchantment card* revealed this way into play tapped. Put the rest in your graveyard.
*cards aren't permanents until they are in play
Creature - Dwarf
Non-basic landwalk
1/2
support creatures help others when they come into play(think of it like one does something and they all do the same with him)
Ill post up another card or two now
Le Gambit @ Aether did this banner
[NYC Dark Knights]
join today
Legendary Land
T: Add W to your mana pool. If it was spent on a creature spell, that creature comes into play with a +1/+1 counter on it.
*nice card
Legendary Creature - Warrior*
Trample
2R,T:Put a creature card from your hand into play. It has haste. Sacrifice it at end of turn
*Human Warrior?
**This is pretty broken. A 5/5 for 4 is perhaps too powerful to begin with, but trample and an elvish piperish ability make it a tad too good. Although there is the double red in its cost and it is legendary, I still think its too powerful.
Le Gambit @ Aether did this banner
[NYC Dark Knights]
join today
Creature - Guardian Knight**
Flying
When Knight of the Heavens comes into play, choose one: draw 2 cards and lose 4 life, or discard 2 cards and gain 5 life.
3/3
*a black creature with heavens in its name?
**another creature type? Human Guardian Knight
You've also got formatting errors all over; I'll talk more on that later when I have time.
My Moderator Helpdesk| My Custom Set List | My MSE Template HostingBeers Tasted: 113 | Last Beer Sampled: Flying Dog Horn Dog Barley Wine Ale
When I say heavens, I mean skies. Thank you guys alot though, seriously I suck at wording :emocut:
now attached is my favorite card and 2 promos I made from boredom
Le Gambit @ Aether did this banner
[NYC Dark Knights]
join today
Or, you could just leave his cost as is and make him a 5/3 or 5/4.
Creature - Knight*
Support - Tap X plus 1 white creatures.
1/1
*once again, probably human
Stupid human's ugh, thanks though
Le Gambit @ Aether did this banner
[NYC Dark Knights]
join today
At the beginning of your upkeep, you may pay COST. If you do, put a 1/1 green Dragon creature token into play.
and yeah, i get support
make it for U, or maybe 1U
The thing with keeper is I don't plan on it going on Dragons only, so thats the only way I could think of wording it
Le Gambit @ Aether did this banner
[NYC Dark Knights]
join today
As for the artists, if you don't know who they are... put 'unknown'. It's more professional than a blank.
Good mechanics overall. There are a couple wording issues though. But most of them, Aristotle has already touched on. I'm currently on a hiatus on my set so maybe i'll help around here for a bit. Give me awhile, i'll post all the wording issues i can think of.
Forgotten Arts
Le Gambit @ Aether did this banner
[NYC Dark Knights]
join today
I would make one minor change to Xaltir's Bodyguard, just a formatting issue. Only the first word in a chain of keywords is capitalized.
Xaltir's Bodyguard 2WWW
Creature - Angel Paladin
Flash, flying
Support - Remove X minus 2 attacking creatures from the game
4/4
I'd say Aristotle nailed Temple of Jex.
As for Sempta, again, a minor change. My understanding is that a legend uses its full name the first time it refers to itself, then just the shorter version every time after that. So...
Sempta, Princess of Zal 1UU
Legendary Creature - Human Paladin
~ cannot be countered.
When Sempta comes into play, reveal the top 4 cards of your library. You may put a permanent card revealed this way into play tapped. Put the rest in your graveyard.
Ditto on Dwarven Pathfinder and Menkara. But Garg has a few oh so minor errors. It is powerful, but I agree that its not so bad.
Garg, Beast Master of Rurn
Legendary Creature - Human Warrior
Trample
2R, T:Put a creature card from your hand into play. It has haste. Sacrifice it at end of turn.
Knight of the Skies needs some minor correcting.
Knight of the Skies WUB
Creature - Guardian Knight
Flying
When ~ comes into play, choose one--Draw two cards and lose 4 life; or discard two cards and gain 5 life.
3/3
The intended version of Menkara's Calvary only taps non-white creatures, not white creatures.
Menkara's Cavalry 1W
Creature - Knight*
Support - Tap X plus 1 non-white creatures.
1/1
And I think he intends Keeper to work on non-Dragons as well. So perhaps this:
Keeper [cost] (At the beginning of your upkeep you may pay [cost]. If you do, put a 1/1 creature token of the same color and type as this creature into play.)
Also, Keeper shouldn't be capitalized on the Garnus Dragon. So perhaps you should consider putting it on its own line, separate from flying so you can have it with remidner text and still have proper formatting as well. For an example of what I mean, see any card with Morph.
White Lightning 2W
Instant (C)
~ deals 2 damage to target creature that has attacked and dealt combat damage this turn.
I would perhaps lower the cost by 1.
Last Call - I ditto Aristotle on the cost.
As for wording, not so sure... Perhaps:
Last Call
Sorcery.
Draw 4 cards. For the next five turns, if you would draw a card, instead you don't.
My Moderator Helpdesk| My Custom Set List | My MSE Template HostingBeers Tasted: 113 | Last Beer Sampled: Flying Dog Horn Dog Barley Wine Ale
Xaltir’s Bodyguard 2WWW
Creature – Angel Paladin
Flash, flying
Support – Remove X-2 attacking creatures from the game (When this creature comes into play, remove X-2 attacking creatures from the game where X is the number of other creatures with support you control.)
4/4
Or
Xaltir’s Bodyguard 2WWW
Creature – Angel Paladin
Flash, flying
Support – Remove X-3 attacking creatures from the game (When this creature comes into play, remove X-3 attacking creatures from the game where X is the number of creatures with support you control.)
4/4
Same effect and it’s shorter by a word. Shorter is better in MTG. First of all, this is a great mechanic. The problem I see is that it’s a bit wordy. But it’s fine as is. Balance is fine as well.
Temple of Jex
Legendary land
t: Add GG to your mana pool. Put a +1/+1 counter on an opponent’s creature.
No wording issues and it’s good that Aristotle suggested on making it legendary. It’s heaps overpowered. This card is 2 mana and if you’re going first or your opponent is playing slow-game this land will hurt heaps. Imagine this in an MGA deck. First turn this and you drop two Llanowar elves while he still has no creatures in play. I suggest that it either has to come into play tapped or it has to give a token. A nice touch would be...
Temple of Jex
Legendary land
t, put a +1/+1 counter on a creature of target opponent’s choice: Add GG to your mana pool.
That way, there’s a bit more of a drawback but if you find a way to keep his off the field, you can use this for combo purposes.
Sempta, Princess of Zal 1UU
Legendary Creature – Human Paladin
Sempta, Princess of Zal can’t be countered.
When Sempta comes into play, reveal the top 4 cards of your library. You may put 1 permanent into play tapped and the rest into your graveyard.
1/1
This card is a bit powerful actually. But she’s legendary. The thing is, you don’t need her to stick around. She looks like a sorcery to me. Because coming into play doesn’t stop you from playing another from your hand. So they both die, you get possible combo or fattie advantage. And it can’t be countered. Maybe cost her 1 more and pump her toughness up? I dunno.
Sempta, Princess of Zal 2UU
Legendary Creature – Human Paladin
Sempta, Princess of Zal can’t be countered.
When Sempta comes into play, reveal the top 4 cards of your library. You may put 1 permanent into play tapped and the rest into your graveyard.
1/3
That might work but you might not like it as much.
Dwarven Pathfinder RR
Creature – Dwarf
Nonbasic landwalk
1/2
Thats basically how it’s phrased as per Dryad Sophisticate. You could drop its overall cc to 1R. Maybe you can add a second creature type to it as well. ‘Scout’ fits well for this card, I think.
Dwarven Pathfinder 1R
Creature – Dwarf Scout
Nonbasic landwalk
1/2
Well, I’m out for a bit. Good luck with your set.
Forgotten Arts