This is for a card i'm creating, and i'm not sure what is the correct grammer for the card. I've checked the gatherer and recieved some varying results.
Here's the text:
Target player searches his or her library for two cards and puts them into his or her hand. Then that player shuffles his or her library. He or she discards two cards at random.
Would this be more correct?
Target player searches his or her library for two cards, puts them into his or her hand, then shuffles his or her library. He or she discards two cards at random.
Or this:
Target player searches his or her library for two cards, puts them into his or her hand, then shuffles his or her library. Then he or she discards two cards at random.
Target player searches his or her library for two cards and puts them into his or her hand. Then that player discards two cards at random and shuffles his or her library.
A slight change in the ordering ("shuffle the library" effects always seem to come last), and the alternation between "player" and "his or her" is a little easier on the ears than repeating one of those locutions repeatedly. The first sentence is still a little awkward.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Playlace --
Instant
Target spell or permanent's tone becomes playful.
Target player searches his or her library for two cards and puts them into his or her hand. Then that player discards two cards at random and shuffles his or her library.
A slight change in the ordering ("shuffle the library" effects always seem to come last), and the alternation between "player" and "his or her" is a little easier on the ears than repeating one of those locutions repeatedly. The first sentence is still a little awkward.
Thanks! That sounds better, but it's still open for suggestion if anyone has another idea?
Target player searches his or her library for two cards, puts them(those cards) into his or her hand, then discards two cards at random. Then that player shuffles his or her library.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
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Here's the text:
Target player searches his or her library for two cards and puts them into his or her hand. Then that player shuffles his or her library. He or she discards two cards at random.
Would this be more correct?
Target player searches his or her library for two cards, puts them into his or her hand, then shuffles his or her library. He or she discards two cards at random.
Or this:
Target player searches his or her library for two cards, puts them into his or her hand, then shuffles his or her library. Then he or she discards two cards at random.
Thanks for any help!
A slight change in the ordering ("shuffle the library" effects always seem to come last), and the alternation between "player" and "his or her" is a little easier on the ears than repeating one of those locutions repeatedly. The first sentence is still a little awkward.
Instant
Target spell or permanent's tone becomes playful.
Thanks! That sounds better, but it's still open for suggestion if anyone has another idea?