It's time for the final poll for September's CCL. We have four finalists in a heated race. Here was the challenge:
Design one monocolor card of each color that would be featured in a supplemental product of your choice that's focused on the concept of defenses. No more than two of them can be creature cards.
Mana MirrorsW
Artifact - Fortification (R)
Permanents your team controls have hexproof from all colors that fortified land could produce. (They can't be the target of spells or abilities your opponents control of that color or colors.)
Fortify 1W(1W: Attach to target land you control. Fortify only as a sorcery. This card enters the battlefield unattached and stays on the battlefield if the land leaves.)
Quiet Interlude1U
Instant (U)
Spellshare (2/U)(When you cast this spell, each other player may pay its spellshare cost. Copy this for each player that does.)
Creatures get -1/-0 until end of turn.
Each player who cast or shared this spell draws a card.
Tar Tanks1B
Artifact - Fortification (R)
Fortified land has "T, Sacrifice this land: Destroy target creature that dealt damage to your team or a planeswalker your team controls this turn."
Fortify 2B(2B: Attach to target land you control. Fortify only as a sorcery. This card enters the battlefield unattached and stays on the battlefield if the land leaves.)
Guest Appearance3RR
Sorcery (R)
Spellshare (2/R)(2/R)(When you cast this spell, each other player may pay its spellshare cost. Copy this for each player that does. You may choose new targets for the copies.)
Each player who cast or shared this spell may reveal any number of cards from their hand. You may put a creature card from among them onto the battlefield under your control. It gains haste and "At the beginning of your end step, return this creature to its owner's hand."
Roiling Ramparts2G
Artifact - Fortification (R)
Fortified lands your team controls are 2/4 green Elemental creatures with vigilance.
When Roiling Ramparts becomes attached to a land, untap that land.
Fortify 1G(1G: Attach to target land you control. Fortify only as a sorcery. This card enters the battlefield unattached and stays on the battlefield if the land leaves.)
For a conspiracy style (Battle-royale Multiplayer draft) set that takes place on Kamigawa
Internment TermXWW
Enchantment (R)
~ enters the battlefield with X charge counters.
Creatures with power equal to the number of charge counters on ~ cannot attack. 2: Add or remove a charge counter from ~. Activate this ability only whenever you could cast a sorcery. 4: Add or remove a charge counter from ~. Any player may activate this ability, but only whenever they could cast a sorcery.
Tei, Meishin's Architect2UU
Legendary Creature - Moonfolk (M)
Flying T1U: Exile target creature attacking you or a planeswalker you control. Return it to the battlefield under the attacking player's control, attacking a player or planeswalker of your choice if able. Activate this ability only during the declare attacker's step on an opponent's turn. (A creature cannot attack it's controller or a planeswalker owned by it's controller)
2/3
Smoke BombB
Instant - (C)
Attacking creatures get -3/-0 until end of turn.
Creatures you control get -1/-0 until end of turn. Master's of espionage and assassination, the ninja avoided open combat. When there was no cover of night, they would create their own means of escape. Bidding time for their poisons and traps to take effect.
Dangerous Nursery Visit3RR
Instant (R)
Create three 0/2 red Dragon Egg creature tokens named with Defender and, "Exile this creature at the end of combat. When this creature dies, create a 2/2 red Dragon creature token with flying and 'R: This creature gets +1/+0 until end of turn.'."
Kami of the Village Gates2G
Creature - Plant Spirit (U)
Defender
Whenever a creature you control without defender blocks, it gets +1/+1 until end of turn for each creature with defender you control.
0/3
Are you telling me I am in the finals? I was so sure I would have been out last round! (I hope it's a 4-way tie and not just a typo.) And I am also just discovering it now? And there are only five and a half hours left until the deadline? Oh my! Why don't I realize such things when I need to?
EDIT: I did it in a little more than three hours. Let's hope I've not made anything broken because of the hurry!
Conspiracy: Keep the Throne is the third chapter in the Conspiracy series. It's all about Queen Marchesa having to defend her throne and the existence of the monarchy itself against the attacks of Adriana and Selvala, who try to enact their plans to create the Republic of Paliano.
Conspiracy cards are back, obviously. The Monarch mechanic also returns in the set, but this time the focus is not so much on becoming the monarch, rather on retaining the monarch status for yourself. To allow you to do that, the set has various mechanical means to let you dodge your opponents' attacks, prevent combat damage, and generally stall the game while you try to exploit the advantages of keeping the crown. That includes a defender subtheme, returning from Rise of the Eldrazi and other recent sets.
Army’s Loyalty2WW
Enchantment (R)
When Army’s Loyalty enters the battlefield, you become the monarch.
As long as you’re the monarch, creatures you control get +0/+1.
As long as you’re not the monarch, creatures you control get +1/+0. “Having a good army at your orders ensures you can keep the crown effectively. I have the best army at my disposal.”
—Queen Marchesa
Mindful Courtmage2U
Creature — Human Wizard (U)
Defender 2U, T: Target creature gets -X/-0 until end of turn, where X is twice the number of creatures with defender you control. “I don’t know how to fight, but I know how to make you think I am detaining you with the strength of a whole army.”
0/3
Dark Protector6BB
Creature — Demon (M)
Flying
When Dark Protector enters the battlefield, you become the monarch.
Your opponents can’t become the monarch. Loyal to the Queen, treacherous to anybody else.
6/6
Audacious Plot2R
Instant (U)
Audacious Plot deals damage to any target equal to the number of face-up conspiracy cards you own in the command zone. “You accuse me of plotting against the Queen? Who doesn’t in Paliano?”
—Adriana
Natural Defenses1G
Instant (C)
Prevent all combat damage that would be dealt to you this turn. If you’re the monarch, draw a card. “Guards! Block the doors! Use anything you need, be it even the trunk of a tree!”
—Queen Marchesa
Loyal Hero 1W
Creature - Human Soldier (r)
Flash
First strike
Whenever you're dealt commander damage, put that many +1/+1 counters on Loyal Hero.
1/2
Stubborness1R
Enchantment (r)
If a spell or ability controlled by an opponent would cause a permanent you control to be returned to its owner's hand, that permanent remains on the battlefield instead.
If you would draw a card, you may choose to skip drawing that card.
Resent the Past2UUU
Enchantment (r)
Whenever a player casts a spell, counter that spell if a spell with the same name was cast this game.
Mirror of the Soul2BB
Creature - Avatar (r)
Defender
Combat damage dealt to Mirror of the Soul by creatures also causes that creature's controller to be dealt damage. (Damage dealt by commanders counts as commander damage)
1/8
Aura Sphere1G
Enchantment - Aura (u)
Enchant creature
Totem armor
Enchanted creature gets +1/+1.
You may cast Aura Sphere from your graveyard if it targets your commander.
With four people and single vote I'm just putting for myself, but good luck to everyone!
Zemoo:
I doubt this was intentional but I think "internment" is a word to stay away from on a Japanese-related plane. Anyway, opening an ability to others at a higher cost is a good idea if a little wordy.
Tei is also a little awkward as it doesn't do much in 1-1, which I think you could fix by making the returning attacked part optional (i.e. returning out of combat, or attacking someone else).
Smoke Bomb is probably doable from flavor but I think it's a bit of a color bend.
Nursery Visit is weird as an Instant and just makes some tokens we have already seen.
The green wall is probably my favorite one but it's quite strong to start and gets ridiculous once you have even one other defender = +2/+2 is enough that any typical board will swallow most of what comes its way.
bravelion83:
The white card seems pretty fun if a little weak. I wish the black card just heavily punished opposing monarchs instead of just shutting it off.
Audacious Plot is great flavor, works perfectly and conspiracy interaction like that is something interesting they could do in the future.
The other two cards are pretty boring but I know you were short on time.
Hemlock:
The white card is a cool tweak for commander although I'm not sure what the flavor is.
The blue card making commanders one-use only is pretty unfun in my book but it would be interesting if it had a loophole just for commanders. Prevents recursion combos that go through the hand but also makes Cyclonic Rift even worse.
I don't know why the black card has a weird static ability instead of just basically being Truefire Captain. I guess you just wanted to be sure to reflect commander damage, but I'm not even sure this is a black ability.
The red card is great and I guess I buy it being red since it is pretty explicitly anti-blue.
The green card sure does ensure survivability for your commander. Concept is fine but I might have upped the cost.
I'm not sure any of the total entries grabs me more than the others, but Audacious Plot is probably my favorite card from the other submissions.
Gerrard's Mom Mana Mirrors: Interesting way to utilize fortify, but this is the type of card that does little without a rainbow land, but is obnoxious with one IMO Quiet Interlude: The draw effect is on the copies but it doesn't do anything since they were not cast or shared by anyone. So if you cast this, everyone shares it, and you counter the original, the copies still shrink power but no one draws cards. That's interesting (to me at least) but unintuitive. I would shy away from something that looks like it's giving your opponent's the copies, but you get them, however unlikely the scenario I came up with is.
The actual card is cool cause you can cast it when only teammates can draw or mid combat when opponent's drawing isn't worth it. so there is a cool minigame with it. Tar Tanks: Nice take on the Spear of Heliod effect, the sac here makes it something that isn't super obnoxious to play against in 2HG lifetotals Guest Appearance: very cool card, the way it incorporates the spellshare, not just as more copies, but more options. I'm just not sure how this fits the Defense theme, being a sorcery that can only really help you attack. Roiling Ramparts: This just makes me want to untap Gaea's Cradle and/or Nykthos. real easy to go infinite here. In my experience people don't know how summoning sickness works with Creature lands and this untapping could make that come up more often.
Overall I think spell share is a cool idea, but it seems strangely implemented. The U card could be worded such that each player casts their copy, and feels like it should, the way it helps everyone. But the R card needs you to cast the copy and also feels like that's what it should do, since it only helps you. Maybe I'm being pedantic but I feel like these take away from each other and they would be better off if the mechanic didn't try and do as much.
Bravelion83
Army’s Loyalty: Love the way these abilities work to help you change your beatdown/control role to get and then keep the monarchy. Mindful Courtmage: I don't think this fits with NWO, but costing 3 mana to activate means it is certainly reasonable to print. Dark Protector: Powerful effect and perfect Mythic headliner for this type of set. Not very defensive, in fact it incentivizes you to attack. Normally fear of losing the monarchy makes you want to focus on being defense and protecting it. This lets you race without giving up cards. Audacious Plot: Interesting Build around, flavor is perfect too. also not really defensive. Natural Defenses: Like the design of the card, might help newer player realize the value of their fog is casting it at the right time, not whenever. The flavor text, doesn't really work for me.
Generally speaking, being the monarch is it's own reward and the longer one player stays the monarch the easier it is for them to stay that way by virtue of having more resources. So a set based around keeping the monarchy could be a little snow-bally. Perhaps the politics of multiplayer make up for this in the right play groups (not in mine, we're all spikes). The cards do work well to their stated purpose.
Hemlock Loyal Hero: Interesting rattlesnake card that takes advantage of a commander specific mechanic. Great design Stubborness: Like the flavor/design. This is the type of card I would never play, but there is a certain kind of player who likes this effect and it can be situationally powerful. Stubbornness has 2 N's btw. Resent the Past: Very limited (fair) use in Commander, traditionally only the commanders, which for most people is the point of the format. It can be hard to keep track of. Goes to 11 with bounce effects. This either does nothing or does everything. Mirror of the Soul: like the idea, wording is a little awkward. Certainly holds back a few creatures by itself. Not sure how I'm tricking my opponent into killing them selves with commander damage with this, so the extra wording to give it that functionality might not be worth it.(it is perfectly sized to block 7 damage 3 times for 21, nice touch) Aura Sphere: commanders already come back pretty easily, so making them tough to deal with each time they come back might be too much, could have scaled it with commander tax or something else.
Some cards I liked some I didn't. All make sense as commander cards. Not all strictly defensive, but the ones that aren't prohibit or prevent your opponent's actions, which is a form of defense.
Voting for oneself is ok, right? Because I just did.
Gerrard's Mom
Battlebond: The Living Arena
After having one of the best days of the my life at the 2HG GRN prerelease, one little regret I have is not having played any Battlebond with the friend I did the GRN prerelease with. Well, the things in my life that led to me and him going to the GRN prerelease together hadn't yet happened when Battlebond came out. I sure hope one day another Battlebond set will come out and we get to play it. In the meantime, let's see what you have in mind for the second Battlebond set. The name tells me that the Valor's Reach stadium is going to get alive, and I have a hunch it will not be happy or kind with the contestants battling within it...
Mana MirrorsW
Artifact - Fortification (R)
Permanents your team controls have hexproof from all colors that fortified land could produce. (They can't be the target of spells or abilities your opponents control of that color or colors.)
Fortify 1W(1W: Attach to target land you control. Fortify only as a sorcery. This card enters the battlefield unattached and stays on the battlefield if the land leaves.)
Fortifications are a great flavorful fit for a set about Valor's Reach itself coming to life. I remember reading recently on Blogatog that, according to Maro, fortifications don't have a lot of design space and thus are not very likely to return. That makes them perfect material for custom designs. In this particular card, we have the "your team matters" mechanic, the "hexproof from" variant from Dominaria and the Fortification subtype all in one. Might it be a little too much for less experienced players? I don't know. At least, you certainly did the right choice making this a rare.
Quiet Interlude1U
Instant (U)
Spellshare (2/U)(When you cast this spell, each other player may pay its spellshare cost. Copy this for each player that does.)
Creatures get -1/-0 until end of turn.
Each player who cast or shared this spell draws a card.
At first, I read spellshare as if they got the copy and I wondered why it worked on your opponents too, not just your teammate. Then I realized I was reading it wrong and they pay the spellshare cost but YOU get the copies for each player who does. Now I like it much better. I would say it wants to say "each teammate" to be a bit clearer and fit better in a Battlebond set, but being the way it is makes it relevant for politic alliances in free-for-all multiplayer formats, such as Commander. Giving a reward to players for sharing the spell is a nice incentive to make the mechanic happen more often, and I like that. My main remark on this card is that despite the fact that it uses simple effects, the end result is still quite complicated. I would personally like to see what the more simple cards with spellshare look like. What do the spellshare commons look like?
Tar Tanks1B
Artifact - Fortification (R)
Fortified land has "T, Sacrifice this land: Destroy target creature that dealt damage to your team or a planeswalker your team controls this turn."
Fortify 2B(2B: Attach to target land you control. Fortify only as a sorcery. This card enters the battlefield unattached and stays on the battlefield if the land leaves.)
I like this more and less than the first fortification at the same time. More because there is less to process for your brain, less because it wants you to sacrifice lands which might lead you to mana screw yourself if you're not careful.
Guest Appearance3RR
Sorcery (R)
Spellshare (2/R)(2/R)(When you cast this spell, each other player may pay its spellshare cost. Copy this for each player that does. You may choose new targets for the copies.)
Each player who cast or shared this spell may reveal any number of cards from their hand. You may put a creature card from among them onto the battlefield under your control. It gains haste and "At the beginning of your end step, return this creature to its owner's hand."
I was waiting for more simple spellshare cards, and here we have an even more complicated one, with a twist on dash. I am noticing now the detail of having "twobrid" mana for the spellshare cost, which was also in the blue spellshare card. That allows your teammate to help you by sharing the spell regardless of the colors they're playing, while still letting them get a discount if they have the right color of mana. A nice touch, but it adds even more to the complexity of the mechanic. Maybe the spellshare cost could be just generic mana? That way, you still allow them to help you while simplifying the card. I don't know, I'm just trying to offer more food for thought.
Roiling Ramparts2G
Artifact - Fortification (R)
Fortified lands your team controls are 2/4 green Elemental creatures with vigilance.
When Roiling Ramparts becomes attached to a land, untap that land.
Fortify 1G(1G: Attach to target land you control. Fortify only as a sorcery. This card enters the battlefield unattached and stays on the battlefield if the land leaves.)
In my opinion, this would be the best fortification of the three if it only affected the land fortified by this and not all fortified lands, again mostly for complexity reasons. And again, a rules text that at least makes the card worthy of rare status. What I like the most about this card is the trigger. There are so many tricks you can do with it, and I'm not even a Johnny!
Overall, your submission is very splashy and it's the most original out of all four, that's for sure. Unfortunately, it might also be the most complicated. It's not by chance that you have no room for flavor text on any of your cards. Anyway, I certainly admire the boldness of taking the risk to create an original mechanic and use an existing one that's only ever been on a single card and that's unlikely to return for your submission. I probably wouldn't have done that regardless of the fact that I had a little time to work on my own submission. My instinct is always to keep it as safe as I can, here as well as in real life. I wish you those risks pay off (and apparently they already are).
Zemoo
For a conspiracy style (Battle-royale Multiplayer draft) set that takes place on Kamigawa
So, Conspiracy meets Kamigawa. That would be a huge success with enfranchised players, that's for sure. A supplemental set is also the best chance we have to actually return to Kamigawa. I'm honestly neutral about that, I started playing towards the end of Kamigawa-Ravnica standard so I don't have a lot of memories associated with the Japanese plane, but I know a lot of people badly want a return to Kamigawa. Let's see how you chose to tackle it.
By the way, when I chose to use Conspiracy too, I actively tried to do so in a way that felt different from your sumbission, which you had already posted, and I think I managed to do that. To me our submissions do feel different enough. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that was something I did actively think about.
Internment TermXWW
Enchantment (R)
Internment Term enters the battlefield with X charge counters on it.
Creatures with power equal to the number of charge counters on Internment Term cannot attack. 2: Add or remove a charge counter from Internment Term. Activate this ability only any time you could cast a sorcery. 4: Add or remove a charge counter from Internment Term. Any player may activate this ability, but only any time they could cast a sorcery.
I had to adjust a lot of details on this, and I have doubts the end result fits in the card frame. *checks in MSE* Ten lines, we're at the limit. What the card is supposed to do is very clear at an intuitive level, and I like the "I want this many counters, you want a different number of counters" minigame this card implies. I just wish there were a simpler way to word this card. And no, I do not have any such way in mind right now.
Tei, Meishin's Architect2UU
Legendary Creature - Moonfolk (M)
Flying 1U, T: Exile target creature attacking you or a planeswalker you control. Return it to the battlefield under the attacking player's control, attacking a player or planeswalker of your choice if able. Activate this ability only during the declare attacker's step on an opponent's turn. (A creature cannot attack its controller or a planeswalker owned by its controller.)
2/3
Again many details to adjust. Please be more careful with the possessive "its" vs. the verb "it's". I know it hurts me more than it should to see them switched, it's a pet peeve of mine, but I think part of presenting a card is writing it correctly. I try not to judge based on that in the CCL, but I just had to point this out this time. The card itself is certainly very original, and it blends together the flicker mechanic and attacker manipulation, both things that belong in blue's color pie but that I don't remember having ever seen together in real Magic. I have my doubts about "the attacking player's control" wording, but I have no real alternative to propose right now. I also don't like how complex these first two cards are.
Smoke BombB
Instant (C)
Attacking creatures get -3/-0 until end of turn.
Creatures you control get -1/-0 until end of turn. Master's of espionage and assassination, the ninja avoided open combat. When there was no cover of night, they would create their own means of escape. Bidding time for their poisons and traps to take effect.
Finally a more simple card, with shorter rules text and room for some very nice piece of flavor text. I like that. Unfortunately, I also think this card is in the wrong color. It should be blue, that's where -N/-0 effects belong. If it were -0/-N than it would be black. It would also be a totally different card.
Dangerous Nursery Visit3RR
Instant (R)
Create three 0/2 red Dragon Egg creature tokens named with defender and "Exile this creature at the end of combat. When this creature dies, create a 2/2 red Dragon creature token with flying and 'R: This creature gets +1/+0 until end of turn.'."
I like what the mechanics are trying to do. What I don't like on this card is the name (I can't see it being printed on a real Magic card) and the fact that the exile clause is part of the rules text of the Egg token rather than an effect of this spell, which is both the stardard way to word effects like this and, in my opinion, clearer.
Kami of the Village Gates2G
Creature - Plant Spirit (U)
Defender
Whenever a creature you control without defender blocks, it gets +1/+1 until end of turn for each creature with defender you control.
0/3
Finally a card where I didn't have to adjust not even a single detail, at the contrary of all the other cards (including the black and red ones even if I didn't mention it there). I like this card just fine. It fits the defense theme of the challenge very well.
Overall, I like what these cards are trying to do, but I feel this submission too is rather complicated, even though not as much as the first one. I understand that the public vote of the CCL finals is essentially a popularity contest, so you want to go with splashy things, but I think you still have to keep an eye on elegance and complexity. You have to find the right balance point, and I know it's not easy. It's what I tried to do in my own submission, I don't know if I managed but at least that was my intention.
Hemlock
I'm going with Commander decks 2020!
Not necessarily tied to the defense theme, and I also don't personally like Commander (yes, I know it could sound like blasphemy to someone but that's the way it is), but let's see what you have to offer. I put the cards in WUBRG order.
Loyal Hero1W
Creature - Human Soldier (R)
Flash
First strike
Whenever you're dealt commander damage, put that many +1/+1 counters on Loyal Hero.
1/2
Finally a simple, short and very elegant card. I love that. Triggering on commander damage is also very original, they've never done that yet but it's something I think they might easily do in any future Commander product. Excellent work.
Resent the Past2UUU
Enchantment (R)
Whenever a player casts a spell, counter that spell if a spell with the same name was cast this game.
I see potential memory issues, but luckily checking the graveyard and the exile zone should be enough. Again, I like very much the fact that this card consists of a single line of text. This card is reminiscent of a few other existing ones, but it's still different enough to feel like its own thing. I would have liked to see some flavor text here, and in the first card too. The room is certainly there. I hope to see some on the next cards.
Mirror of the Soul2BB
Creature - Avatar (R)
Defender
Combat damage dealt to Mirror of the Soul by creatures also causes that creature's controller to be dealt damage. (Damage dealt by commanders counts as commander damage.)
1/8
The reminder text might be the answer to the question that immediately came to my mind as I read this card: why not just word it like Boros Reckoner and similar existing cards? It's true that technically it might not count as commander damage in that case, I would have to check that in the CR. This goes to show how much I play Commander (which is, again, zero). Anyway, what I can say is that this card is certainly very original and that, like the other ones, manages to do a lot with as few text as possible, and I really like that. I'm not sure this effect belongs in black if it does work like the Reckoner, it might be better suited for white.
Stubborness1R
Enchantment (R)
If a spell or ability controlled by an opponent would cause a permanent you control to be returned to its owner's hand, that permanent remains on the battlefield instead.
If you would draw a card, you may choose to skip drawing that card.
I would have worded the first effect as "Permanents you control can't be returned to their owners' hands." I don't think there is any functional difference, and it's even shorter and clearer. It still works perfectly fine as is though, and it's yet one more way to make a very original ability without using too much text. The second ability puzzles me. Is there any situation where you would ever want NOT to draw a card, except to avoid getting milled out? There might be, maybe I'm just not thinking about it.
Aura Sphere1G
Enchantment - Aura (U)
Enchant creature
Totem armor
Enchanted creature gets +1/+1.
You may cast Aura Sphere from your graveyard if it targets your commander.
Another very simple and elegant card that I could see printed in a Commander product for real. I just love such cards.
Overall - Ok, so in the end I did not see a single line of flavor text, despite there being a lot of room for it, thanks to the simplicity of these cards (except maybe for the red one, that looks more complex). That's the only negative thing I can really say about this submission. Mechanically, I like it very much. If I couldn't vote for myself, I think I would have definitely voted for you. The comparison between this and the other submissions shows just how much better a Magic card looks when it doesn't have a bunch of text but it simply does one thing and does it well. More is not always better, and this submission exemplifies that wonderfully.
As a final note for everyone who reads these critiques, please let me point out that I am comparing cards, not people. If I said something negative about your cards it doesn't mean I'm saying something negative about you. I do not know you personally, so I would never dare say something bad about you as a person. I always try to convey that in the tone I use when writing all my judgments and critiques both in the MCC and the CCL. That's very important to me. As the saying goes, always critique ideas, not people. Obviously, that applies to real life too by the way.
MCC - Winner (6): Oct 2014, Apr Nov 2017, Jan 2018, Apr Jun 2019 || Host (15): Dec 2014, Apr Jul Aug Dec 2015, Mar Jul Aug Oct 2016, Feb Jul 2017, Jun Nov 2018, Feb Jul 2019 (last one here) || Judge (34): every month from Nov 2014 to Nov 2016 except Oct 2015, every month from Feb to Jul 2017 except Apr 2017, then Oct 2017, May Jun Nov 2018, Feb Jul 2019 (last one here) CCL - Winner (3): Jul 2016 (tied with Flatline), May 2017, Jul 2019 (last one here) || Host (5): Feb 2015, Mar Apr May Jun 2016 DCC - Winner (1): Mar 2015 (tied with Piar) || Host (3): May Oct 2015, Jan 2016
• The two public custom sets I've been part a part of the design team for: "Brotherhood of Ormos" - Blog post with all info - set thread - design skeleton / card list || "Extinctia: Homo Evanuit" - Blog post with all info - set thread - card list spreadsheet
• "The Lion's Lair", my article series about MTG and custom card design in particular. Latest article here. Here is the article index.Rather outdated by now, and based on the old MCC rubric, but I'm leaving this here for anybody that might be interested anyway.
• My only public attempt at being a writer: the story of my Leonin custom planeswalker Jeff Lionheart. (I have a very big one that I'm working on right now but that's private for now, and I don't know if I will ever actually publish it, and I also have ideas for multiple future ones, including one where I'm going to reprise Jeff.)
Yeah hmm I didn't bother too much with the details but is there not a way to word it so that all the people get cards for each copy?
I guess "Each player who cast or shared a spell named ~ this turn..."? Occasionally would have weird side effects if multiple people have the same one.
I basically just wanted to staple together assist and replicate so other people can copy your spells. Letting them all have their own copies is maybe a way that could work too, but it seemed more interesting to find effects that other people might want you to do more of in multiplayer. Like the blue one was supposed to offer the opponents cards if they want to buy in to the power-down effect, which would probably be happening at a bad time for them.
It's actually probably balanced better if it only gives all the participants one card...I suppose the other application there is something like multikicker where it does X thing to start and does Y thing for each other player that joins in (which could be more of X thing).
Quiet Interlude 1U
Instant (U)
Spellshare (2/U) (When you cast this spell, each other player may pay share it by paying its spellshare cost.)
Creatures get -X/-0 until end of turn, where X is the number of players who cast or shared ~.
Each player who cast or shared ~ draws X cards.
Is how I would have worded what you described. I don't think it's easy for the rules to do this with copies knowing something about other copies.
But that being said I'm more concerned with the powerlevel of this now. Imagine you and your teammate go first and cast this for 1U||2/U, 3/4 total mana draw 4 total cards. 2 (potentially) instant speed divinations! It works on the draw if your opponents ever tap out too, even if 1 enemy head can share this they give both of their opponents 1 more card to get 3 themselves, it's only ever bad if everyone does it, and like you said you only need to cast it when it's awkward/ impossible for them to buy in. Who cares about the effect, you get to draw cards.
And here are the entries:
I̟̥͍̠ͅn̩͉̣͍̬͚ͅ ̬̬͖t̯̹̞̺͖͓̯̤h̘͍̬e͙̯͈̖̼̮ ̭̬f̺̲̲̪i͙͉̟̩̰r̪̝͚͈̝̥͍̝̲s̼̻͇̘̳͔ͅt̲̺̳̗̜̪̙ ̳̺̥̻͚̗ͅm̜̜̟̰͈͓͎͇o̝̖̮̝͇m̯̻̞̼̫̗͓̤e̩̯̬̮̩n͎̱̪̲̹͖t͇̖s̰̮ͅ,̤̲͙̻̭̻̯̹̰ ̖t̫̙̺̯͖͚̯ͅh͙̯̦̳̗̰̟e͖̪͉̼̯ ̪͕g̞̣͔a̗̦t̬̬͓͙̫̖̭̻e̩̻̯ ̜̖̦̖̤̭͙̬t̞̹̥̪͎͉ͅo͕͚͍͇̲͇͓̺ ̭̬͙͈̣̻t͈͍͙͓̫̖͙̩h̪̬̖̙e̗͈ ̗̬̟̞̺̤͉̯ͅa̦̯͚̙̜̮f͉͙̲̣̞̼t̪̤̞̣͚e̲͉̳̥r͇̪̙͚͓l̥̞̞͎̹̯̹ͅi͓̬f̮̥̬̞͈ͅe͎ ̟̩̤̳̠̯̩̯o̮̘̲p̟͚̣̞͉͓e͍̩̣n͔̼͕͚̜e̬̱d̼̘͎̖̹͍̮̠,͖̺̭̱̮ ̣̲͖̬̪̭̥a̪͚n̟̲̝̤̤̞̗d̘̱̗͇̮͕̳͕͔ ͖̞͉͎t̹̙͎h̰̱͉̗e̪̞̱̝̹̩ͅ ̠̱̩̭̦p̯̙e͓o̳͚̰̯̺̱̰͔̘p̬͎̱̣̼̩͇l̗̟̖͚̠e̱͉͔̱̦̬̟̙ ̖͚̪͔̼̦w̺̖̤̱e͖̗̻̦͓̖̘̜r̭̥e͔̹̫̱͕̦̰͕ ̗͔̠p̠̗͍͍̱̳̠r̰͔͎̰o͉̥͓̰͚̥s̟͚̹̱͔̣t͉̙̳̖͖̪̮r̥̘̥͙̹a͉̟̫̟̳̠̟̭t͈̜̰͈͎e̞̣̭̲̬ ͚̗̯̟͙i͍͖̰̘̦͖͉ṇ̮̻̯̦̲̩͍ ̦̮͚̫̤t͉͖̫͕ͅͅh͙̮̻̘̣̮̼e͕̺ ͙l͕̠͎̰̥i̲͓͉̲g̫̳̟͈͇̖h̠̦̖t͓̯͎̗ ̳̪̘̟̙̩̦o̫̲f̙͔̰̙̠ ̹̪̗͇̯t͖̼̼͉͖̬h̹͇̩e͚̖̺̤͉̹͕̪ ͚͓̭̝̺G͎̗̯̩o̫̯̮̟̮̳̘d̜̲͙̠-̩̳̯̲̗̜P̹̘̥͉̝h͍͈̗̖̝ͅa͍̗̮̼̗r̜̖͇̙̺a̭̺͔̞̳͈o̪̣͓̯̬͙̯̰̗h̖̦͈̥̯͔.͇̣̙̝
Zemoo:
I doubt this was intentional but I think "internment" is a word to stay away from on a Japanese-related plane. Anyway, opening an ability to others at a higher cost is a good idea if a little wordy.
Tei is also a little awkward as it doesn't do much in 1-1, which I think you could fix by making the returning attacked part optional (i.e. returning out of combat, or attacking someone else).
Smoke Bomb is probably doable from flavor but I think it's a bit of a color bend.
Nursery Visit is weird as an Instant and just makes some tokens we have already seen.
The green wall is probably my favorite one but it's quite strong to start and gets ridiculous once you have even one other defender = +2/+2 is enough that any typical board will swallow most of what comes its way.
bravelion83:
The white card seems pretty fun if a little weak. I wish the black card just heavily punished opposing monarchs instead of just shutting it off.
Audacious Plot is great flavor, works perfectly and conspiracy interaction like that is something interesting they could do in the future.
The other two cards are pretty boring but I know you were short on time.
Hemlock:
The white card is a cool tweak for commander although I'm not sure what the flavor is.
The blue card making commanders one-use only is pretty unfun in my book but it would be interesting if it had a loophole just for commanders. Prevents recursion combos that go through the hand but also makes Cyclonic Rift even worse.
I don't know why the black card has a weird static ability instead of just basically being Truefire Captain. I guess you just wanted to be sure to reflect commander damage, but I'm not even sure this is a black ability.
The red card is great and I guess I buy it being red since it is pretty explicitly anti-blue.
The green card sure does ensure survivability for your commander. Concept is fine but I might have upped the cost.
I'm not sure any of the total entries grabs me more than the others, but Audacious Plot is probably my favorite card from the other submissions.
Gerrard's Mom
Mana Mirrors: Interesting way to utilize fortify, but this is the type of card that does little without a rainbow land, but is obnoxious with one IMO
Quiet Interlude: The draw effect is on the copies but it doesn't do anything since they were not cast or shared by anyone. So if you cast this, everyone shares it, and you counter the original, the copies still shrink power but no one draws cards. That's interesting (to me at least) but unintuitive. I would shy away from something that looks like it's giving your opponent's the copies, but you get them, however unlikely the scenario I came up with is.
The actual card is cool cause you can cast it when only teammates can draw or mid combat when opponent's drawing isn't worth it. so there is a cool minigame with it.
Tar Tanks: Nice take on the Spear of Heliod effect, the sac here makes it something that isn't super obnoxious to play against in 2HG lifetotals
Guest Appearance: very cool card, the way it incorporates the spellshare, not just as more copies, but more options. I'm just not sure how this fits the Defense theme, being a sorcery that can only really help you attack.
Roiling Ramparts: This just makes me want to untap Gaea's Cradle and/or Nykthos. real easy to go infinite here. In my experience people don't know how summoning sickness works with Creature lands and this untapping could make that come up more often.
Overall I think spell share is a cool idea, but it seems strangely implemented. The U card could be worded such that each player casts their copy, and feels like it should, the way it helps everyone. But the R card needs you to cast the copy and also feels like that's what it should do, since it only helps you. Maybe I'm being pedantic but I feel like these take away from each other and they would be better off if the mechanic didn't try and do as much.
Bravelion83
Army’s Loyalty: Love the way these abilities work to help you change your beatdown/control role to get and then keep the monarchy.
Mindful Courtmage: I don't think this fits with NWO, but costing 3 mana to activate means it is certainly reasonable to print.
Dark Protector: Powerful effect and perfect Mythic headliner for this type of set. Not very defensive, in fact it incentivizes you to attack. Normally fear of losing the monarchy makes you want to focus on being defense and protecting it. This lets you race without giving up cards.
Audacious Plot: Interesting Build around, flavor is perfect too. also not really defensive.
Natural Defenses: Like the design of the card, might help newer player realize the value of their fog is casting it at the right time, not whenever. The flavor text, doesn't really work for me.
Generally speaking, being the monarch is it's own reward and the longer one player stays the monarch the easier it is for them to stay that way by virtue of having more resources. So a set based around keeping the monarchy could be a little snow-bally. Perhaps the politics of multiplayer make up for this in the right play groups (not in mine, we're all spikes). The cards do work well to their stated purpose.
Hemlock
Loyal Hero: Interesting rattlesnake card that takes advantage of a commander specific mechanic. Great design
Stubborness: Like the flavor/design. This is the type of card I would never play, but there is a certain kind of player who likes this effect and it can be situationally powerful. Stubbornness has 2 N's btw.
Resent the Past: Very limited (fair) use in Commander, traditionally only the commanders, which for most people is the point of the format. It can be hard to keep track of. Goes to 11 with bounce effects. This either does nothing or does everything.
Mirror of the Soul: like the idea, wording is a little awkward. Certainly holds back a few creatures by itself. Not sure how I'm tricking my opponent into killing them selves with commander damage with this, so the extra wording to give it that functionality might not be worth it.(it is perfectly sized to block 7 damage 3 times for 21, nice touch)
Aura Sphere: commanders already come back pretty easily, so making them tough to deal with each time they come back might be too much, could have scaled it with commander tax or something else.
Some cards I liked some I didn't. All make sense as commander cards. Not all strictly defensive, but the ones that aren't prohibit or prevent your opponent's actions, which is a form of defense.
My Cubes:Pauper|Archetype
My Deviant Art
Gerrard's Mom
After having one of the best days of the my life at the 2HG GRN prerelease, one little regret I have is not having played any Battlebond with the friend I did the GRN prerelease with. Well, the things in my life that led to me and him going to the GRN prerelease together hadn't yet happened when Battlebond came out. I sure hope one day another Battlebond set will come out and we get to play it. In the meantime, let's see what you have in mind for the second Battlebond set. The name tells me that the Valor's Reach stadium is going to get alive, and I have a hunch it will not be happy or kind with the contestants battling within it...
Mana Mirrors W
Artifact - Fortification (R)
Permanents your team controls have hexproof from all colors that fortified land could produce. (They can't be the target of spells or abilities your opponents control of that color or colors.)
Fortify 1W (1W: Attach to target land you control. Fortify only as a sorcery. This card enters the battlefield unattached and stays on the battlefield if the land leaves.)
Fortifications are a great flavorful fit for a set about Valor's Reach itself coming to life. I remember reading recently on Blogatog that, according to Maro, fortifications don't have a lot of design space and thus are not very likely to return. That makes them perfect material for custom designs. In this particular card, we have the "your team matters" mechanic, the "hexproof from" variant from Dominaria and the Fortification subtype all in one. Might it be a little too much for less experienced players? I don't know. At least, you certainly did the right choice making this a rare.
Quiet Interlude 1U
Instant (U)
Spellshare (2/U) (When you cast this spell, each other player may pay its spellshare cost. Copy this for each player that does.)
Creatures get -1/-0 until end of turn.
Each player who cast or shared this spell draws a card.
At first, I read spellshare as if they got the copy and I wondered why it worked on your opponents too, not just your teammate. Then I realized I was reading it wrong and they pay the spellshare cost but YOU get the copies for each player who does. Now I like it much better. I would say it wants to say "each teammate" to be a bit clearer and fit better in a Battlebond set, but being the way it is makes it relevant for politic alliances in free-for-all multiplayer formats, such as Commander. Giving a reward to players for sharing the spell is a nice incentive to make the mechanic happen more often, and I like that. My main remark on this card is that despite the fact that it uses simple effects, the end result is still quite complicated. I would personally like to see what the more simple cards with spellshare look like. What do the spellshare commons look like?
Tar Tanks 1B
Artifact - Fortification (R)
Fortified land has "T, Sacrifice this land: Destroy target creature that dealt damage to your team or a planeswalker your team controls this turn."
Fortify 2B (2B: Attach to target land you control. Fortify only as a sorcery. This card enters the battlefield unattached and stays on the battlefield if the land leaves.)
I like this more and less than the first fortification at the same time. More because there is less to process for your brain, less because it wants you to sacrifice lands which might lead you to mana screw yourself if you're not careful.
Guest Appearance 3RR
Sorcery (R)
Spellshare (2/R)(2/R) (When you cast this spell, each other player may pay its spellshare cost. Copy this for each player that does. You may choose new targets for the copies.)
Each player who cast or shared this spell may reveal any number of cards from their hand. You may put a creature card from among them onto the battlefield under your control. It gains haste and "At the beginning of your end step, return this creature to its owner's hand."
I was waiting for more simple spellshare cards, and here we have an even more complicated one, with a twist on dash. I am noticing now the detail of having "twobrid" mana for the spellshare cost, which was also in the blue spellshare card. That allows your teammate to help you by sharing the spell regardless of the colors they're playing, while still letting them get a discount if they have the right color of mana. A nice touch, but it adds even more to the complexity of the mechanic. Maybe the spellshare cost could be just generic mana? That way, you still allow them to help you while simplifying the card. I don't know, I'm just trying to offer more food for thought.
Roiling Ramparts 2G
Artifact - Fortification (R)
Fortified lands your team controls are 2/4 green Elemental creatures with vigilance.
When Roiling Ramparts becomes attached to a land, untap that land.
Fortify 1G (1G: Attach to target land you control. Fortify only as a sorcery. This card enters the battlefield unattached and stays on the battlefield if the land leaves.)
In my opinion, this would be the best fortification of the three if it only affected the land fortified by this and not all fortified lands, again mostly for complexity reasons. And again, a rules text that at least makes the card worthy of rare status. What I like the most about this card is the trigger. There are so many tricks you can do with it, and I'm not even a Johnny!
Overall, your submission is very splashy and it's the most original out of all four, that's for sure. Unfortunately, it might also be the most complicated. It's not by chance that you have no room for flavor text on any of your cards. Anyway, I certainly admire the boldness of taking the risk to create an original mechanic and use an existing one that's only ever been on a single card and that's unlikely to return for your submission. I probably wouldn't have done that regardless of the fact that I had a little time to work on my own submission. My instinct is always to keep it as safe as I can, here as well as in real life. I wish you those risks pay off (and apparently they already are).
Zemoo
So, Conspiracy meets Kamigawa. That would be a huge success with enfranchised players, that's for sure. A supplemental set is also the best chance we have to actually return to Kamigawa. I'm honestly neutral about that, I started playing towards the end of Kamigawa-Ravnica standard so I don't have a lot of memories associated with the Japanese plane, but I know a lot of people badly want a return to Kamigawa. Let's see how you chose to tackle it.
By the way, when I chose to use Conspiracy too, I actively tried to do so in a way that felt different from your sumbission, which you had already posted, and I think I managed to do that. To me our submissions do feel different enough. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that was something I did actively think about.
Internment Term XWW
Enchantment (R)
Internment Term enters the battlefield with X charge counters on it.
Creatures with power equal to the number of charge counters on Internment Term cannot attack.
2: Add or remove a charge counter from Internment Term. Activate this ability only any time you could cast a sorcery.
4: Add or remove a charge counter from Internment Term. Any player may activate this ability, but only any time they could cast a sorcery.
I had to adjust a lot of details on this, and I have doubts the end result fits in the card frame. *checks in MSE* Ten lines, we're at the limit. What the card is supposed to do is very clear at an intuitive level, and I like the "I want this many counters, you want a different number of counters" minigame this card implies. I just wish there were a simpler way to word this card. And no, I do not have any such way in mind right now.
Tei, Meishin's Architect 2UU
Legendary Creature - Moonfolk (M)
Flying
1U, T: Exile target creature attacking you or a planeswalker you control. Return it to the battlefield under the attacking player's control, attacking a player or planeswalker of your choice if able. Activate this ability only during the declare attacker's step on an opponent's turn. (A creature cannot attack its controller or a planeswalker owned by its controller.)
2/3
Again many details to adjust. Please be more careful with the possessive "its" vs. the verb "it's". I know it hurts me more than it should to see them switched, it's a pet peeve of mine, but I think part of presenting a card is writing it correctly. I try not to judge based on that in the CCL, but I just had to point this out this time. The card itself is certainly very original, and it blends together the flicker mechanic and attacker manipulation, both things that belong in blue's color pie but that I don't remember having ever seen together in real Magic. I have my doubts about "the attacking player's control" wording, but I have no real alternative to propose right now. I also don't like how complex these first two cards are.
Smoke Bomb B
Instant (C)
Attacking creatures get -3/-0 until end of turn.
Creatures you control get -1/-0 until end of turn.
Master's of espionage and assassination, the ninja avoided open combat. When there was no cover of night, they would create their own means of escape. Bidding time for their poisons and traps to take effect.
Finally a more simple card, with shorter rules text and room for some very nice piece of flavor text. I like that. Unfortunately, I also think this card is in the wrong color. It should be blue, that's where -N/-0 effects belong. If it were -0/-N than it would be black. It would also be a totally different card.
Dangerous Nursery Visit 3RR
Instant (R)
Create three 0/2 red Dragon Egg creature tokens named with defender and "Exile this creature at the end of combat. When this creature dies, create a 2/2 red Dragon creature token with flying and 'R: This creature gets +1/+0 until end of turn.'."
I like what the mechanics are trying to do. What I don't like on this card is the name (I can't see it being printed on a real Magic card) and the fact that the exile clause is part of the rules text of the Egg token rather than an effect of this spell, which is both the stardard way to word effects like this and, in my opinion, clearer.
Kami of the Village Gates 2G
Creature - Plant Spirit (U)
Defender
Whenever a creature you control without defender blocks, it gets +1/+1 until end of turn for each creature with defender you control.
0/3
Finally a card where I didn't have to adjust not even a single detail, at the contrary of all the other cards (including the black and red ones even if I didn't mention it there). I like this card just fine. It fits the defense theme of the challenge very well.
Overall, I like what these cards are trying to do, but I feel this submission too is rather complicated, even though not as much as the first one. I understand that the public vote of the CCL finals is essentially a popularity contest, so you want to go with splashy things, but I think you still have to keep an eye on elegance and complexity. You have to find the right balance point, and I know it's not easy. It's what I tried to do in my own submission, I don't know if I managed but at least that was my intention.
Hemlock
Not necessarily tied to the defense theme, and I also don't personally like Commander (yes, I know it could sound like blasphemy to someone but that's the way it is), but let's see what you have to offer. I put the cards in WUBRG order.
Loyal Hero 1W
Creature - Human Soldier (R)
Flash
First strike
Whenever you're dealt commander damage, put that many +1/+1 counters on Loyal Hero.
1/2
Finally a simple, short and very elegant card. I love that. Triggering on commander damage is also very original, they've never done that yet but it's something I think they might easily do in any future Commander product. Excellent work.
Resent the Past 2UUU
Enchantment (R)
Whenever a player casts a spell, counter that spell if a spell with the same name was cast this game.
I see potential memory issues, but luckily checking the graveyard and the exile zone should be enough. Again, I like very much the fact that this card consists of a single line of text. This card is reminiscent of a few other existing ones, but it's still different enough to feel like its own thing. I would have liked to see some flavor text here, and in the first card too. The room is certainly there. I hope to see some on the next cards.
Mirror of the Soul 2BB
Creature - Avatar (R)
Defender
Combat damage dealt to Mirror of the Soul by creatures also causes that creature's controller to be dealt damage. (Damage dealt by commanders counts as commander damage.)
1/8
The reminder text might be the answer to the question that immediately came to my mind as I read this card: why not just word it like Boros Reckoner and similar existing cards? It's true that technically it might not count as commander damage in that case, I would have to check that in the CR. This goes to show how much I play Commander (which is, again, zero). Anyway, what I can say is that this card is certainly very original and that, like the other ones, manages to do a lot with as few text as possible, and I really like that. I'm not sure this effect belongs in black if it does work like the Reckoner, it might be better suited for white.
Stubborness 1R
Enchantment (R)
If a spell or ability controlled by an opponent would cause a permanent you control to be returned to its owner's hand, that permanent remains on the battlefield instead.
If you would draw a card, you may choose to skip drawing that card.
I would have worded the first effect as "Permanents you control can't be returned to their owners' hands." I don't think there is any functional difference, and it's even shorter and clearer. It still works perfectly fine as is though, and it's yet one more way to make a very original ability without using too much text. The second ability puzzles me. Is there any situation where you would ever want NOT to draw a card, except to avoid getting milled out? There might be, maybe I'm just not thinking about it.
Aura Sphere 1G
Enchantment - Aura (U)
Enchant creature
Totem armor
Enchanted creature gets +1/+1.
You may cast Aura Sphere from your graveyard if it targets your commander.
Another very simple and elegant card that I could see printed in a Commander product for real. I just love such cards.
Overall - Ok, so in the end I did not see a single line of flavor text, despite there being a lot of room for it, thanks to the simplicity of these cards (except maybe for the red one, that looks more complex). That's the only negative thing I can really say about this submission. Mechanically, I like it very much. If I couldn't vote for myself, I think I would have definitely voted for you. The comparison between this and the other submissions shows just how much better a Magic card looks when it doesn't have a bunch of text but it simply does one thing and does it well. More is not always better, and this submission exemplifies that wonderfully.
As a final note for everyone who reads these critiques, please let me point out that I am comparing cards, not people. If I said something negative about your cards it doesn't mean I'm saying something negative about you. I do not know you personally, so I would never dare say something bad about you as a person. I always try to convey that in the tone I use when writing all my judgments and critiques both in the MCC and the CCL. That's very important to me. As the saying goes, always critique ideas, not people. Obviously, that applies to real life too by the way.
MCC - Winner (6): Oct 2014, Apr Nov 2017, Jan 2018, Apr Jun 2019 || Host (15): Dec 2014, Apr Jul Aug Dec 2015, Mar Jul Aug Oct 2016, Feb Jul 2017, Jun Nov 2018, Feb Jul 2019 (last one here) || Judge (34): every month from Nov 2014 to Nov 2016 except Oct 2015, every month from Feb to Jul 2017 except Apr 2017, then Oct 2017, May Jun Nov 2018, Feb Jul 2019 (last one here)
CCL - Winner (3): Jul 2016 (tied with Flatline), May 2017, Jul 2019 (last one here) || Host (5): Feb 2015, Mar Apr May Jun 2016
DCC - Winner (1): Mar 2015 (tied with Piar) || Host (3): May Oct 2015, Jan 2016
• The two public custom sets I've been part a part of the design team for:
"Brotherhood of Ormos" - Blog post with all info - set thread - design skeleton / card list || "Extinctia: Homo Evanuit" - Blog post with all info - set thread - card list spreadsheet
• "The Lion's Lair", my article series about MTG and custom card design in particular. Latest article here. Here is the article index. Rather outdated by now, and based on the old MCC rubric, but I'm leaving this here for anybody that might be interested anyway.
• My only public attempt at being a writer: the story of my Leonin custom planeswalker Jeff Lionheart. (I have a very big one that I'm working on right now but that's private for now, and I don't know if I will ever actually publish it, and I also have ideas for multiple future ones, including one where I'm going to reprise Jeff.)
I̟̥͍̠ͅn̩͉̣͍̬͚ͅ ̬̬͖t̯̹̞̺͖͓̯̤h̘͍̬e͙̯͈̖̼̮ ̭̬f̺̲̲̪i͙͉̟̩̰r̪̝͚͈̝̥͍̝̲s̼̻͇̘̳͔ͅt̲̺̳̗̜̪̙ ̳̺̥̻͚̗ͅm̜̜̟̰͈͓͎͇o̝̖̮̝͇m̯̻̞̼̫̗͓̤e̩̯̬̮̩n͎̱̪̲̹͖t͇̖s̰̮ͅ,̤̲͙̻̭̻̯̹̰ ̖t̫̙̺̯͖͚̯ͅh͙̯̦̳̗̰̟e͖̪͉̼̯ ̪͕g̞̣͔a̗̦t̬̬͓͙̫̖̭̻e̩̻̯ ̜̖̦̖̤̭͙̬t̞̹̥̪͎͉ͅo͕͚͍͇̲͇͓̺ ̭̬͙͈̣̻t͈͍͙͓̫̖͙̩h̪̬̖̙e̗͈ ̗̬̟̞̺̤͉̯ͅa̦̯͚̙̜̮f͉͙̲̣̞̼t̪̤̞̣͚e̲͉̳̥r͇̪̙͚͓l̥̞̞͎̹̯̹ͅi͓̬f̮̥̬̞͈ͅe͎ ̟̩̤̳̠̯̩̯o̮̘̲p̟͚̣̞͉͓e͍̩̣n͔̼͕͚̜e̬̱d̼̘͎̖̹͍̮̠,͖̺̭̱̮ ̣̲͖̬̪̭̥a̪͚n̟̲̝̤̤̞̗d̘̱̗͇̮͕̳͕͔ ͖̞͉͎t̹̙͎h̰̱͉̗e̪̞̱̝̹̩ͅ ̠̱̩̭̦p̯̙e͓o̳͚̰̯̺̱̰͔̘p̬͎̱̣̼̩͇l̗̟̖͚̠e̱͉͔̱̦̬̟̙ ̖͚̪͔̼̦w̺̖̤̱e͖̗̻̦͓̖̘̜r̭̥e͔̹̫̱͕̦̰͕ ̗͔̠p̠̗͍͍̱̳̠r̰͔͎̰o͉̥͓̰͚̥s̟͚̹̱͔̣t͉̙̳̖͖̪̮r̥̘̥͙̹a͉̟̫̟̳̠̟̭t͈̜̰͈͎e̞̣̭̲̬ ͚̗̯̟͙i͍͖̰̘̦͖͉ṇ̮̻̯̦̲̩͍ ̦̮͚̫̤t͉͖̫͕ͅͅh͙̮̻̘̣̮̼e͕̺ ͙l͕̠͎̰̥i̲͓͉̲g̫̳̟͈͇̖h̠̦̖t͓̯͎̗ ̳̪̘̟̙̩̦o̫̲f̙͔̰̙̠ ̹̪̗͇̯t͖̼̼͉͖̬h̹͇̩e͚̖̺̤͉̹͕̪ ͚͓̭̝̺G͎̗̯̩o̫̯̮̟̮̳̘d̜̲͙̠-̩̳̯̲̗̜P̹̘̥͉̝h͍͈̗̖̝ͅa͍̗̮̼̗r̜̖͇̙̺a̭̺͔̞̳͈o̪̣͓̯̬͙̯̰̗h̖̦͈̥̯͔.͇̣̙̝
I guess "Each player who cast or shared a spell named ~ this turn..."? Occasionally would have weird side effects if multiple people have the same one.
I basically just wanted to staple together assist and replicate so other people can copy your spells. Letting them all have their own copies is maybe a way that could work too, but it seemed more interesting to find effects that other people might want you to do more of in multiplayer. Like the blue one was supposed to offer the opponents cards if they want to buy in to the power-down effect, which would probably be happening at a bad time for them.
It's actually probably balanced better if it only gives all the participants one card...I suppose the other application there is something like multikicker where it does X thing to start and does Y thing for each other player that joins in (which could be more of X thing).
Instant (U)
Spellshare (2/U) (When you cast this spell, each other player may pay share it by paying its spellshare cost.)
Creatures get -X/-0 until end of turn, where X is the number of players who cast or shared ~.
Each player who cast or shared ~ draws X cards.
Is how I would have worded what you described. I don't think it's easy for the rules to do this with copies knowing something about other copies.
But that being said I'm more concerned with the powerlevel of this now. Imagine you and your teammate go first and cast this for 1U||2/U, 3/4 total mana draw 4 total cards. 2 (potentially) instant speed divinations! It works on the draw if your opponents ever tap out too, even if 1 enemy head can share this they give both of their opponents 1 more card to get 3 themselves, it's only ever bad if everyone does it, and like you said you only need to cast it when it's awkward/ impossible for them to buy in. Who cares about the effect, you get to draw cards.
My Cubes:Pauper|Archetype
My Deviant Art
I̟̥͍̠ͅn̩͉̣͍̬͚ͅ ̬̬͖t̯̹̞̺͖͓̯̤h̘͍̬e͙̯͈̖̼̮ ̭̬f̺̲̲̪i͙͉̟̩̰r̪̝͚͈̝̥͍̝̲s̼̻͇̘̳͔ͅt̲̺̳̗̜̪̙ ̳̺̥̻͚̗ͅm̜̜̟̰͈͓͎͇o̝̖̮̝͇m̯̻̞̼̫̗͓̤e̩̯̬̮̩n͎̱̪̲̹͖t͇̖s̰̮ͅ,̤̲͙̻̭̻̯̹̰ ̖t̫̙̺̯͖͚̯ͅh͙̯̦̳̗̰̟e͖̪͉̼̯ ̪͕g̞̣͔a̗̦t̬̬͓͙̫̖̭̻e̩̻̯ ̜̖̦̖̤̭͙̬t̞̹̥̪͎͉ͅo͕͚͍͇̲͇͓̺ ̭̬͙͈̣̻t͈͍͙͓̫̖͙̩h̪̬̖̙e̗͈ ̗̬̟̞̺̤͉̯ͅa̦̯͚̙̜̮f͉͙̲̣̞̼t̪̤̞̣͚e̲͉̳̥r͇̪̙͚͓l̥̞̞͎̹̯̹ͅi͓̬f̮̥̬̞͈ͅe͎ ̟̩̤̳̠̯̩̯o̮̘̲p̟͚̣̞͉͓e͍̩̣n͔̼͕͚̜e̬̱d̼̘͎̖̹͍̮̠,͖̺̭̱̮ ̣̲͖̬̪̭̥a̪͚n̟̲̝̤̤̞̗d̘̱̗͇̮͕̳͕͔ ͖̞͉͎t̹̙͎h̰̱͉̗e̪̞̱̝̹̩ͅ ̠̱̩̭̦p̯̙e͓o̳͚̰̯̺̱̰͔̘p̬͎̱̣̼̩͇l̗̟̖͚̠e̱͉͔̱̦̬̟̙ ̖͚̪͔̼̦w̺̖̤̱e͖̗̻̦͓̖̘̜r̭̥e͔̹̫̱͕̦̰͕ ̗͔̠p̠̗͍͍̱̳̠r̰͔͎̰o͉̥͓̰͚̥s̟͚̹̱͔̣t͉̙̳̖͖̪̮r̥̘̥͙̹a͉̟̫̟̳̠̟̭t͈̜̰͈͎e̞̣̭̲̬ ͚̗̯̟͙i͍͖̰̘̦͖͉ṇ̮̻̯̦̲̩͍ ̦̮͚̫̤t͉͖̫͕ͅͅh͙̮̻̘̣̮̼e͕̺ ͙l͕̠͎̰̥i̲͓͉̲g̫̳̟͈͇̖h̠̦̖t͓̯͎̗ ̳̪̘̟̙̩̦o̫̲f̙͔̰̙̠ ̹̪̗͇̯t͖̼̼͉͖̬h̹͇̩e͚̖̺̤͉̹͕̪ ͚͓̭̝̺G͎̗̯̩o̫̯̮̟̮̳̘d̜̲͙̠-̩̳̯̲̗̜P̹̘̥͉̝h͍͈̗̖̝ͅa͍̗̮̼̗r̜̖͇̙̺a̭̺͔̞̳͈o̪̣͓̯̬͙̯̰̗h̖̦͈̥̯͔.͇̣̙̝