Doomsday Demon (Mythic) 6B
Creature - Demon
6/6
Flying
When Doomsday Demon enters the battlefield, exile your hand, graveyard, and library. Then put six cards you own in exile on top of your library in any order.
Tyto, the Swift (PoohBearOverlord): This is an interesting mechanic. It's a little unclear with the wording whether or not "afflicting bleed" gives them a bleed counter as well as starting them on the bleeding train. I assume it does. Jeskai colors seem like an odd fit, as this feels more BRW to me. It's certainly jank, as starting bleed is too little too late on a card like this, but I'm not sure it feels properly mythic. Maybe just a jank rare.
Breach the Rifts (ManyCookies): Wow, that is some reeking jank. Some big-mana soul-sisters deck is gonna thrash the kitchen table with this and Panharmonicon... well they'll try, but this card isn't even that good there.
Hoarding Hellkite (JuanCu): This is definitely jank, but it's not bad for draft. I like the way the looting works, though it took me a minute to understand it fully. The three damage is hilarious.
Blade of Rivalry (JaceTheBodyScuptor): This is indeed an awful card, but it doesn't feel mythic. For a jank rare, it's pretty classy, making you think it's kinda playable right until you finish reading it.
Desperate Gamble (BluesEclipse): I thought one of the Insidious Dreams cycle worked like this, but not really. I like how it justifies being a red Prosperity by being awful. I'm not sure it feels mythic, but they do that sometimes with cards like this.
Doomsday Demon (Legend): This definitely does it: it tricks new players into thinking it's the best card ever. It's got a totally metal name, and it definitely earns its mythic symbol-- yet it's profoundly, mind-numbingly awful.
Kaya's Kingslayer (ManyCookies again): I'm not going to count this, since you already posted one, but it is a pretty great example of a jank mythic. It's probably the most powerful card here, as people would use cheats to win actual games with it. Argentum Armor is better, but I feel like certain EDH commanders would be happy playing this card.
Ladies and gentlemen, these cards are complete and total ass. It's difficult to choose which is the most ass. I really like Doomsday Demon, and Desperate Gamble is just hilarious, but Breach the Rifts is the one that feels like a real card to me.
Flameborn Hellhound1RR
Creature — Elemental Hound (U)
Undying (When this creature dies, if it had no +1/+1 counters on it, return it to the battlefield under its owner's control with a +1/+1 counter on it.)
When Flameborn Hellhound enters the battlefield, it deals damage equal to its power to each creature that was dealt damage this turn.
1/1
IIW: An Angel, Sphinx, Demon, Dragon, or Hydra with a CMC of 2 or less that doesn't have x in its mana cost.
(22 Total) - October 2014; December 2014; January 2015; April 2015; June 2015; August 2015; September 2015; November 2015; December 2015(T); January 2016; March 2016(T); April 2016; June 2016; October 2016; December 2016(T); February 2017; April 2017; December 2017; November 2018(T); January 2019; April 2019; June 2019
(8 Total) - May 2015; May 2016; June 2016; August 2016; October 2016; December 2016; October 2017; May 2019
(7 Total) - September 2015; October 2015; January 2016; March 2016; April 2016; July 2016(T); March 2019(T)
Rotmange Mongrel 1B
Creature - Zombie Hound (C)
Discard a card: Rotmange Mongrel gets -1/-1 and becomes the color of your choice until until of turn. Any player may activate this ability.
3/3
IIW: A card with a Phyrexian mana cost with CMC = 1
Krallenhorde AdoptedR
Creature- Hound (U)
Trample
Krallenhorde Adopted can't block unless you control a Wolf or Werewolf creature. The wolves of Innistrad have a unique bond with their kindred.
2/1
Secret Pet1W
Creature - (U)
When Secret Pet enters the battlefield, secretly choose Cat or Hound.
Reveal your choice: Secret Pet becomes the chosen type. If it's Hound, put a +1/+1 counter on each Human you control. If it's Cat, put a +1/+1 counter on Secret Pet for each Human you control.
1/1
JuanCu - AAAAAAA Flatline - Very cute use of Undying, it is a little strange the double red card is better defensively. Ah well. JaceTheBodySculptor - Very cute card (not the dog), little iffy with this at common. Mongrel 1.0 was already pushing it, this is even more complex. Mergatroid_Jones - Into the RDW slot in cube this goes! Like the idea, feels like the second line is basically trinket text. I dunno I'd make the bonus +1/+0 and make it a 2 mana thing instead. JuanCU - What a ****ing weird card, cats xor dogs. I'd like this more at rare and adjusted accordingly (little bigger or costed at 1). Also this could start with the creature type shapeshifter, the card really does not need to be weirder than it already is lol. Legend - This slides in the rather awkward territory of being too strong for uncommon, but pretty boring for a rare.
Both of JuanCu's cards made me chuckle and were pretty interesting so he wins. HM to Flatline, and a good showing all around.
Helixial UplifterWRG Creature - Human Mutant Druid{R} T: Choose one -
Target creature loses Reach. If it does, it gains Flying.
Target creature loses First Strike. If it does, it gains Double Strike.
Target creature loses Trample. If it does, it gains "You may have this creature assign any amount of its combat damage as though it weren't blocked".
3/3
Same design space but completely unprintable:
Radiation Field1UG Enchantment{R}
At the beginning of your upkeep, choose First Strike, Vigilance, Lifelink, Trample, Hexproof, Haste, Deathtouch, Double Strike, Menace, Flying, Prowess or Reach, then target creature loses it. If it does, it gains two abilities among them that it neither has gained or lost before.
IIW: Changing abilities
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Wizards can start putting booster packs inside dog poo and dog owners will still complain.
Master Telekine UU
Creature - Human Wizard (U) T: You may tap or untap another target nonland permanent. T: Attach target Aura with Enchant Creature or Equipment to target creature.
1/2
Punctuate Equilibrium2WR
Sorcery {R}
Search your library and graveyard for five aura cards with different names and exile them, then shuffle your library. If you exiled five cards, choose one at random and put it onto the battlefield attached to target creature. Put the remaining exiled cards into your graveyard. Every few hundred millennia, evolution leaps forward.
Experiment Three1UG
Creature - Human Ooze (R)
Evolve (Whenever a creature enters the battlefield under your control, if that creature has greater power/toughness than this creature, but a +1/+1 counter on this creature)
Sacrifice a Creature: Put X +1/+1 Counters on Experiment Three, where X is its power.
Remove two +1/+1 counters from Experiment Three: Experiment Three gains Hexproof, Indestructible, Double Strike, Trample, Deathtouch, or Lifelink.
1/1 Experiment Two had a negative reaction to the improved Ethermana Serum. Experiment Three absorbed it without an issue.
-Simic Scienctist, Human Modification Experiment Line
Shaggy the Seldom DogUG
Legendary Creature - Hound (R)
At the beginning of your upkeep, exile cards from the top of your library until you reveal a creature card. Shaggy becomes a copy of that card until the beginning of your next turn. Then shuffle all other cards exiled this way into your library.
2/2
Am Shegar: Helixial Uplifter
Cool abilities, but the third one loses points for having to stop and get it. How about making them:
Target creature with reach gains flying.
Target creature with first strike gains double strike.
Target creature with trample gains deathtouch. (deathtouchy trample does almost exactly that... well -1 damage per blocker, but you get the value back on them dying)
Radiation Field: Cool, but even using reminders, you'd have quite the page after a few turns.
JaceTheBodySculptor
I'd restrict it to equipment (how do you pick up an aura?) but this has the telekinesis feel nailed down.
PoohBearOverlord
I'm guessing the 'its power' refers to Experiment Three (or it would say the sacrificed creature's power.)
If so, it can get a bit too exponential. If you play 3 creatures after, and two of them evolved it, you can sacrifice them to get a 17/17... then get a deathtouch, trample, and double strike 11/11 (which can one-shot your opponent trampling over two creatures any size in the way.)
ManyCookies
After playing 1v1 commander on modo, this guy reads "Anhilator 4~5" on turn 3 to me.
Phyrexian Editor
1-in-5 eldrazi conscription. A bit too much of a die roll to win the game for my tastes. Restrict it to converted mana cost 5 or less, and make it 1/3 randoms.
Colony Overseer2WG
Creature - Insect (U)
When Queen's Overseer enters the battlefield, create two 1/1 white and green Insect creature tokens.
Insect spells you cast have convoke.
2/2
and to curve into:
The Queen4WWGG
Legendary Creature - Insect (M)
When you cast The Queen, create three 1/1 white and green Insect creature tokens.
Sacrifice another creature: Choose one —
• Creatures you control get +1/+1 until end of turn.
• You gain 3 life.
• Draw a card.
4/9
Cast trigger so opponents can't destroy the Queen in response to her EtB trigger.
IIW: Astronomical events (eclipses, solar flames, equinoxes etc.)
Honeybee 1G
Creature - Insect (C)
Flying
When Honeybee dies, destroy target creature if it has the least power or is tied for least power among creatures on the battlefield.
1/1
Prismatic Dragonfly2G Creature - Insect{U}
Flying
Sacrifice Prismatic Dragonfly, T: Creatures you control get +X/+X until the end of turn, where X is the number of different colors of mana in your mana pool.
0/1
Polychromatic Firefly1R Creature - Insect{U}
Flying
Sacrifice Polychromatic Firefly, T: Add X R to your mana pool, where X is the number of different colors of mana in your mana pool.
0/1
Kaleidoscopic ButterflyW Creature - Insect{U}
Flying
Sacrifice Kaleidoscopic Butterfly , T: Gain two times X life, where X is the number of different colors of mana in your mana pool.
0/1
IIW: Changing abilities
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Wizards can start putting booster packs inside dog poo and dog owners will still complain.
Urborg Mosquitoes3B
Creature- Insect (U)
Flying
When a non-artifact creature attacks you or a planeswalker you control, that creature gets -0/-1 until end of turn.
When Urborg Mosquitoes would die, you may pay B to return it to owner's hand instead.
0/1
Halo of Flies1B
Creature — Insect (R)
Flying
Whenever a Zombie creature enters the battlefield under your control, you may pay B. If you do, return Halo of Flies from your graveyard to the battlefield. The unsettling buzzing of flies grew louder as Sengoth's undead army approached.
1/1
IIW: An Angel, Sphinx, Demon, Dragon, or Hydra with a CMC of 2 or less that doesn't have x in its mana cost.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
(22 Total) - October 2014; December 2014; January 2015; April 2015; June 2015; August 2015; September 2015; November 2015; December 2015(T); January 2016; March 2016(T); April 2016; June 2016; October 2016; December 2016(T); February 2017; April 2017; December 2017; November 2018(T); January 2019; April 2019; June 2019
(8 Total) - May 2015; May 2016; June 2016; August 2016; October 2016; December 2016; October 2017; May 2019
(7 Total) - September 2015; October 2015; January 2016; March 2016; April 2016; July 2016(T); March 2019(T)
Undead Swarm1GB
Creature - Zombie Insect
Whenever Undead Swarm attacks and isn't blocked, you may pay B. If you do, create a copy of Undead Swarm.
Creatures named Undead Swarm get +1/+0 if you control 3 or more creatures named Undead Swarm.
0/1 Quantity trumps Quality
Beehive (Uncommon) xR
Enchantment
Beehive enters the battlefield with X wax counters on it.
At the beginning of each upkeep, you may remove a wax counter from Beehive. If you do, create a 1/1 red Insect creature token with flying.
Sacrifice an Insect: Beehive deals 1 damage to target player.
6B
Creature - Demon
6/6
Flying
When Doomsday Demon enters the battlefield, exile your hand, graveyard, and library. Then put six cards you own in exile on top of your library in any order.
IIW: Vehicles with poison counters (no energy)
Legendary Artifact - Equipment (M)
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, that player loses the game.
Equip 8
Next: Cats and/or dogs
Breach the Rifts (ManyCookies): Wow, that is some reeking jank. Some big-mana soul-sisters deck is gonna thrash the kitchen table with this and Panharmonicon... well they'll try, but this card isn't even that good there.
Hoarding Hellkite (JuanCu): This is definitely jank, but it's not bad for draft. I like the way the looting works, though it took me a minute to understand it fully. The three damage is hilarious.
Blade of Rivalry (JaceTheBodyScuptor): This is indeed an awful card, but it doesn't feel mythic. For a jank rare, it's pretty classy, making you think it's kinda playable right until you finish reading it.
Desperate Gamble (BluesEclipse): I thought one of the Insidious Dreams cycle worked like this, but not really. I like how it justifies being a red Prosperity by being awful. I'm not sure it feels mythic, but they do that sometimes with cards like this.
Doomsday Demon (Legend): This definitely does it: it tricks new players into thinking it's the best card ever. It's got a totally metal name, and it definitely earns its mythic symbol-- yet it's profoundly, mind-numbingly awful.
Kaya's Kingslayer (ManyCookies again): I'm not going to count this, since you already posted one, but it is a pretty great example of a jank mythic. It's probably the most powerful card here, as people would use cheats to win actual games with it. Argentum Armor is better, but I feel like certain EDH commanders would be happy playing this card.
Ladies and gentlemen, these cards are complete and total ass. It's difficult to choose which is the most ass. I really like Doomsday Demon, and Desperate Gamble is just hilarious, but Breach the Rifts is the one that feels like a real card to me.
Winner: ManyCookies
Next: Cats and/or dogs
Low-power cube enthusiast!
My 1570 card cube (no longer updated)
My 415 Peasant+ Artifact and Enchantment Cube
Ever-Expanding "Just throw it in" cube.
Sorcery
Create a 2/2 white Cat creature token and a 2/2 green Hound creature token.
Creature — Elemental Hound (U)
Undying (When this creature dies, if it had no +1/+1 counters on it, return it to the battlefield under its owner's control with a +1/+1 counter on it.)
When Flameborn Hellhound enters the battlefield, it deals damage equal to its power to each creature that was dealt damage this turn.
1/1
IIW: An Angel, Sphinx, Demon, Dragon, or Hydra with a CMC of 2 or less that doesn't have x in its mana cost.
Creature - Zombie Hound (C)
Discard a card: Rotmange Mongrel gets -1/-1 and becomes the color of your choice until until of turn. Any player may activate this ability.
3/3
IIW: A card with a Phyrexian mana cost with CMC = 1
Creature- Hound (U)
Trample
Krallenhorde Adopted can't block unless you control a Wolf or Werewolf creature.
The wolves of Innistrad have a unique bond with their kindred.
2/1
IIW: A pair of related cards (like Peace Strider/Pierce Strider or Pyroblast/Hydroblast)
Low-power cube enthusiast!
My 1570 card cube (no longer updated)
My 415 Peasant+ Artifact and Enchantment Cube
Ever-Expanding "Just throw it in" cube.
Creature - (U)
When Secret Pet enters the battlefield, secretly choose Cat or Hound.
Reveal your choice: Secret Pet becomes the chosen type. If it's Hound, put a +1/+1 counter on each Human you control. If it's Cat, put a +1/+1 counter on Secret Pet for each Human you control.
1/1
IIW: a mutant power
2R
Creature - Devil Cat
4/1
Whenever Hellcat becomes blocked, it gains double strike until end of turn.
IIW: vehicles with poison counters (no energy)
Flatline - Very cute use of Undying, it is a little strange the double red card is better defensively. Ah well.
JaceTheBodySculptor - Very cute card (not the dog), little iffy with this at common. Mongrel 1.0 was already pushing it, this is even more complex.
Mergatroid_Jones - Into the RDW slot in cube this goes! Like the idea, feels like the second line is basically trinket text. I dunno I'd make the bonus +1/+0 and make it a 2 mana thing instead.
JuanCU - What a ****ing weird card, cats xor dogs. I'd like this more at rare and adjusted accordingly (little bigger or costed at 1). Also this could start with the creature type shapeshifter, the card really does not need to be weirder than it already is lol.
Legend - This slides in the rather awkward territory of being too strong for uncommon, but pretty boring for a rare.
Both of JuanCu's cards made me chuckle and were pretty interesting so he wins. HM to Flatline, and a good showing all around.
Next: A mutant power
Creature - Human Mutant Druid {R}
T: Choose one -
- Target creature loses Reach. If it does, it gains Flying.
- Target creature loses First Strike. If it does, it gains Double Strike.
- Target creature loses Trample. If it does, it gains "You may have this creature assign any amount of its combat damage as though it weren't blocked".
3/3Same design space but completely unprintable:
Radiation Field 1UG
Enchantment {R}
At the beginning of your upkeep, choose First Strike, Vigilance, Lifelink, Trample, Hexproof, Haste, Deathtouch, Double Strike, Menace, Flying, Prowess or Reach, then target creature loses it. If it does, it gains two abilities among them that it neither has gained or lost before.
IIW: Changing abilities
Creature - Human Wizard (U)
T: You may tap or untap another target nonland permanent.
T: Attach target Aura with Enchant Creature or Equipment to target creature.
1/2
IIW: A Crab Pirate
Sorcery {R}
Search your library and graveyard for five aura cards with different names and exile them, then shuffle your library. If you exiled five cards, choose one at random and put it onto the battlefield attached to target creature. Put the remaining exiled cards into your graveyard.
Every few hundred millennia, evolution leaps forward.
Name is a reference to this theory in evolutionary biology: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Punctuated_equilibrium
IIW: Insects
Creature - Human Ooze (R)
Evolve (Whenever a creature enters the battlefield under your control, if that creature has greater power/toughness than this creature, but a +1/+1 counter on this creature)
Sacrifice a Creature: Put X +1/+1 Counters on Experiment Three, where X is its power.
Remove two +1/+1 counters from Experiment Three: Experiment Three gains Hexproof, Indestructible, Double Strike, Trample, Deathtouch, or Lifelink.
1/1
Experiment Two had a negative reaction to the improved Ethermana Serum. Experiment Three absorbed it without an issue.
-Simic Scienctist, Human Modification Experiment Line
IIW: Legendary Starfish, Shrimp, or Fish
Legendary Creature - Hound (R)
At the beginning of your upkeep, exile cards from the top of your library until you reveal a creature card. Shaggy becomes a copy of that card until the beginning of your next turn. Then shuffle all other cards exiled this way into your library.
2/2
Shaggy the Seldom Dog (long but a great read).
IIW: Astronomical events (eclipses, solar flames, equinoxes etc.)
Am Shegar: Helixial Uplifter
Cool abilities, but the third one loses points for having to stop and get it. How about making them:
Target creature with reach gains flying.
Target creature with first strike gains double strike.
Target creature with trample gains deathtouch. (deathtouchy trample does almost exactly that... well -1 damage per blocker, but you get the value back on them dying)
Radiation Field: Cool, but even using reminders, you'd have quite the page after a few turns.
JaceTheBodySculptor
I'd restrict it to equipment (how do you pick up an aura?) but this has the telekinesis feel nailed down.
PoohBearOverlord
I'm guessing the 'its power' refers to Experiment Three (or it would say the sacrificed creature's power.)
If so, it can get a bit too exponential. If you play 3 creatures after, and two of them evolved it, you can sacrifice them to get a 17/17... then get a deathtouch, trample, and double strike 11/11 (which can one-shot your opponent trampling over two creatures any size in the way.)
ManyCookies
After playing 1v1 commander on modo, this guy reads "Anhilator 4~5" on turn 3 to me.
Phyrexian Editor
1-in-5 eldrazi conscription. A bit too much of a die roll to win the game for my tastes. Restrict it to converted mana cost 5 or less, and make it 1/3 randoms.
Winner:
Phyrexian Editor
Next: Insects
Colony Overseer 2WG
Creature - Insect (U)
When Queen's Overseer enters the battlefield, create two 1/1 white and green Insect creature tokens.
Insect spells you cast have convoke.
2/2
and to curve into:
The Queen 4WWGG
Legendary Creature - Insect (M)
When you cast The Queen, create three 1/1 white and green Insect creature tokens.
Sacrifice another creature: Choose one —
• Creatures you control get +1/+1 until end of turn.
• You gain 3 life.
• Draw a card.
4/9
Cast trigger so opponents can't destroy the Queen in response to her EtB trigger.
IIW: Astronomical events (eclipses, solar flames, equinoxes etc.)
Creature - Insect (C)
Flying
When Honeybee dies, destroy target creature if it has the least power or is tied for least power among creatures on the battlefield.
1/1
IIW: a card with Kamigawa's Sweep mechanic
Creature - Insect {U}
Flying
Sacrifice Prismatic Dragonfly, T: Creatures you control get +X/+X until the end of turn, where X is the number of different colors of mana in your mana pool.
0/1
Polychromatic Firefly 1R
Creature - Insect {U}
Flying
Sacrifice Polychromatic Firefly, T: Add X R to your mana pool, where X is the number of different colors of mana in your mana pool.
0/1
Kaleidoscopic Butterfly W
Creature - Insect {U}
Flying
Sacrifice Kaleidoscopic Butterfly , T: Gain two times X life, where X is the number of different colors of mana in your mana pool.
0/1
IIW: Changing abilities
Creature- Insect (U)
Flying
When a non-artifact creature attacks you or a planeswalker you control, that creature gets -0/-1 until end of turn.
When Urborg Mosquitoes would die, you may pay B to return it to owner's hand instead.
0/1
IIW: Something involving music.
Low-power cube enthusiast!
My 1570 card cube (no longer updated)
My 415 Peasant+ Artifact and Enchantment Cube
Ever-Expanding "Just throw it in" cube.
Creature — Insect (R)
Flying
Whenever a Zombie creature enters the battlefield under your control, you may pay B. If you do, return Halo of Flies from your graveyard to the battlefield.
The unsettling buzzing of flies grew louder as Sengoth's undead army approached.
1/1
IIW: An Angel, Sphinx, Demon, Dragon, or Hydra with a CMC of 2 or less that doesn't have x in its mana cost.
Creature - Zombie Insect
Whenever Undead Swarm attacks and isn't blocked, you may pay B. If you do, create a copy of Undead Swarm.
Creatures named Undead Swarm get +1/+0 if you control 3 or more creatures named Undead Swarm.
0/1
Quantity trumps Quality
IIW: Legendary Starfish, Whale, or Crow
xR
Enchantment
Beehive enters the battlefield with X wax counters on it.
At the beginning of each upkeep, you may remove a wax counter from Beehive. If you do, create a 1/1 red Insect creature token with flying.
Sacrifice an Insect: Beehive deals 1 damage to target player.
IIW: Fish Tokens
Next: a card with Kamigawa's Sweep mechanic