Alright, I'm going to make a quick flavor explanation:
He can't "planeswalk" per se, his plane is constructed very oddly, with a core that is literally a gateway into the blind eternities. In his "Spirit" form he is now capable of passing into the eternities without going maddeningly insane, however he can't travel to the eternities on whim, only through the gateway. Which means if he stops on a new plane he can't leave unless it has a similar "gateway".
And as for why it's black, flavor. Flavor does have to be considered.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Check out the thread for my cube if you have the time, and tell me how terrible it is.
Generals meant to be drafted first in a single pack of 6 cards.
And here is the actual cube, meant to be drafted in 4 regular sized packs. (60 card decks)
@Brofaux: The challenge is "Observe OR Visit", and by rummaging through their graveyard is a way to visit and observe.
Don't worry, I understand what you were trying to get it. I don't feel that the card fits your intentions though. You shouldn't need to put a card that much into context in order for it's flavor to be clear.
Something like this would have fit what your goal and the challenge:
Ruins Explorer2B
Creature - Human Archeologist
:symb::symb:, :symtap:: Exile target card in a graveyard, then search your library for a card with the same name as that card and put it into a your hand.
2/2 "Though a new discovery may seem as though it is extraordinary, duplicates must be found to confirm the plane as the object's origin."
Dichotoverse 5RRW
Enchantment {R}
When Dichotoverse enters the battlefield, exile all permanents.
All creatures have haste.
At the beginning of your upkeep, return all permanents exiled by Dichotoverse to the battlefield, then exile all other permanents that didn't enter the battlefield this way.
First - There is something wrong with this card. It tells something like - "players other than you skips their next turn, but they may draw a card". Second - That "All creatures have haste" is redundant - what player would play a land and a one-mana drop when he knows that at the beginning of your upkeep, he will lost them?!
1 - I don't really see what you're seeing - your permanents come back the same time everyone else's come back and vice versa. After dropping this you're unlikely to do much else with the rest of your turn.
2 - Haste is important here - it allows your creatures to attack as soon as they come back in. And creatures are not lost; this effectively sets up a second battlefield and then alternates between the two.
Impossible Spyglass
Artifact (R)
Each player plays with his or her hand revealed. "I can see everything both in this world and the next."
Fairly simple way of meeting the challenge requirements, and fairly costed for the effect. Not bad, but it feels rather…dull. It doesn’t really impact the game in any meaningful way, and really doesn’t interest me that much.
Book of History
Artifact
If a card would be put into your graveyard from anywhere, you may exile that card. If you do, put a charge counter on Book of History.
:2mana:, :symtap:, Sacrifice Book of History: You may choose a nonland card with converted mana cost equal to the number of charge counters on Book of History you own from outside the game, reveal that card, and put it into your hand. "The man demands to regain everything he lost, but it won't be as easy as he thinks."
This card confuses me. Are you regaining what you have lost, like the flavor text argues, or using history to gain some new knowledge, as the card seems to say. Perhaps you meant to get cards back that were exiled, in which case the card is reasonable, though worded wrong. If the wording was intended as it is, it is quite broken as a land finder, or for any other 0 cost cards. Because of this confusion, I can’t give you the grade that this card could have gotten.
Chaotic Spark :5mana::symu::symr:
Enchantment
At the beginning of your upkeep, you may choose three plane cards you own outside the battlefield, reveal one at random, then put that card into command. If you do, return each other plane card in command to the bottom of its owner's planar deck if able, or if not able, to outside the game. Otherwise, you may activate a chaos ability of a plane card in command. (Each player controls all plane cards in command during his or her turn.)
I'm not reeally a big fan of planechase, and this card seems like the warp world of the format. On the other hand, if you just grab a few of the same plane, you pretty much control the plane for the entire game, which is not fun. This seems rather thrown together, and the reminder text is not necessary, and would be better served as flavor text. Not a fan of this card.
Graverobber Trap :4mana::symb::symb:
Sorcery - Trap (R)
If two or more creatures were put in a graveyard this turn, you may pay :symb::symb: instead of paying Graverobber Trap’s mana cost.
Put up to three target creatures with a casting cost of X or less from a graveyard on the battlefield under your control, where X is equal to half of the casting cost, rounded down, of the creatures put in a graveyard this turn.
Though I see what you are trying to do, a trap that reanimates does not really fulfill the challenge requirements. That aside, this card is very clunky, and worded so that I don’t really know if you are getting total CMC X, or each CMC X. As one of team members said in an earlier critique, in one case it is underpowered, in another, completely broken.
Alternity Key
Legendary Artifact (MR)
:6mana:, : Target permanent's owner sacrifices it. That player searches his or her library for a permanent card that shares a type with the sacrificed permanent and puts that card onto the battlefield, then shuffles his or her library. "What may be, will be." - Urvon the Infinite
Even for the cost, this is quite broken. Fetch-a-Eldrazi/anything for 6 is ridiculous, especially at instant speed. Other than that, though, I do like the flavor, and fellow Timmy’s will agree that, if fixed, this card would be quite fun to play.
Bag of Wishes
Legendary Artifact (MR)
:4mana:, :symtap:: You may choose a card you own from outside the game, reveal that card, and put it into your hand. When you reach into the bag, you never know what you are going to get! Or where you got it from.
Hey, our first fairly costed, not overpowered card! I like it, though the repeatable effect might warrant a slightly higher activation cost.
Chronal Lenses
Artifact (U)
:xmana:, :symtap:: Look at the top X cards of target player's library. For each used to pay this ability you may put a card revealed this way at the bottom of that player's library. With these lenses the future is open like a book to me!
Time changer, not plane viewer. It is like fateseal, which is a fine ability, just not really what this challenge wants. Aside from that, the card is very powerful to broken in a mono-blue deck, as it allows you to control every one of their draws from an early turn. I would have made it rare, and cost more to cast.
Cornerstone of Passage -
Artifact (R)
When Cornerstone of Passage enters the battlefield, return exiled creatures to the battlefield under your control.
Whenever a creature gets exiled, you take control of it.
Slight wording issues with the second ability, should be “return it to play under your control”. Or at least, I assume that's what you want from this card. Other than that, it seems like a fun card to build a deck around, though it probably needs a higher casting cost. Nice job.
Wish Portal
Legendary Artifact (Mythic Rare)
:symw::symu::symb::symr::symg:, :symtap:: Choose a card you own from outside the game, reveal that card, and put it into your hand. You lose life equal to that card’s converted mana cost. I’m still not sure what purpose this gateway serves; however the corpses surrounding it do concern me greatly.
Compared to Koopa’s card, which was fairly costed, this card is just underpowered. The color requirements coupled with the life loss make this very unappealing. Still, the general card idea is just as solid as Koopa’s, and actually gives me a better flavor value than Koopa’s, for the reason that 5 color screams wish to me.
Ok, my fault. I thought there was "When Dichotoverse enters the battlefield, exile all OTHER permanents." But now this card is even worse.
First turn:
You cast Dichotoverse and first ability trigger exiling itself and all other permanents.
Second turn:
Dichotoverse enters the battlefield from exile with all other permanents and first ability trigger, exiling everything.
It doesn't make sense.
Ah, whoops, I thought I fixed that. Oh well, I guess now it's just a convoluted way of saying "exile all permanents" (the second ability won't trigger from exile).
Hapredd's Dromond
Artifact Creature - Ship (R)
Ride 4 -
Flying
: Exile Hapredd's Dromond and all riding creatures. At the beginning of the end of turn step, return those cards to the battlefield and attach those creatures to Hapredd's Dromond.
3/3
As a rare, this wouldn't have the reminder text, but it would be something like this:
(: As a sorcery, attach another target creature you control to this. Up to four creatures can ride this. They attack and block together and share the abilities below, but can be targeted separately
Isn't this more or less a tweaked version of banding? (except this allows you to block together and can share abilities)
Ninja Caterpie:
I think they have already done something of that kind.. though a bit more flavorful. Decent card, but not quite exciting.
PsiJet:
Interesting. Combine this with any one sweeper will most likely seal the win for you. I think it would not be used very much without triggering the trap due to that restriction. And I think the wording for card's mana cost should be refined.
Rudyard:
I haven't played Planechase at all, so I don't know how to judge this card.
CrazyMatt:
I think this design is pretty good. It's not so broken, needs some combo or time to finish off, and it requires some play skill to fetch the righty card. This one should really be exiled after the ability resolved, since any recurring effect will make this one broken very soon.
Viperion:
Smells like a 5-color Commander staple to me. The WUBRG cost can't be found nowhere other than dedicated Commander decks, but in such decks this one will be really powerful. Nice try.
NotoriousLynx:
I can't understand what you're trying to do. You're trying to make an ETB effect that relies on the static ability of itself? Odd. I guess you're a fan of Venser the Sojourner.
Krey:
Too powerful. A fatesealing devil that locks anybody down from turn 4 on, arguably better than JTMS. And you did not mention how to put these cards back (which is the most important part).
Koopa:
This cost reminds me of Mindslaver, didn't it? 4 fetches any one card recurringly every turn, for every deck, is too strong. I think it needs to sacrifice itself, just like Mindslaver.
Jimmy Groove:
This is way better than Polymorph, though with a significant bigger cost. Seems decent as a card and playable within the polymorph archetype but nothing new here.
Top 3:
1. CrazyMatt
2. PsiJet
3. Viperion
I thought the critiques should be in another thread... never mind.
Planar Shift 2UU
Instant {R}
Kicker U
Put two suspend counters on yourself. While you have a suspend counter on yourself; at the beginning of each of your upkeeps remove a suspend counter, prevent all damage you would be dealt and would deal, you have hexproof, you may not add mana to your mana pool, and
you may not have counters placed on you. If Planar Shift was kicked, put a suspend counter on yourself instead.
Joke reminder text: Screw this I'm outta here.
Thematically, this is very cool. Unfortunately, it's quite shaky mecanically. Players don't deal damage, so preventing damage you would deal is going to do precisely nothing. It doesn't stop you attacking, strangely, or playing spells to mess with the board. I think the best way really to imitate suspending a player iis to have them skip turns while phased out, prevent their life from changing, and phase out all their stuff. And even that lets you do plenty of things to get around it. While a cool concept, I don't think there's a good way to represent it mechanically.
PlanescoutingU Sorcery(R)
Exile the top card of target player's library face down. You may look at and play that card by paying X, where X is converted mana cost of that card. /Let's take a look at your world./
I have a feeling the wording is a bit off (particularly i relation to getting a land with it), but it's pretty clear what you mean, and I'm not entirely sure what to change. I really like that this can be played really early at just U, and you just leave the card exiled until you actually want to play it. The X cost to play the card makes it seem pretty balanced, and it's a cool variation on this kind of effect.
Automaton Experiment4
Planeswalker - Automaton (M) (There can be more than one Automaton Experiment on the battlefield.)
[+2]: Roll the planechase dice three times.
[-3]: Activate the planeswalking ability of the current plane.
[-6]: You get an emblem that has the chaos ability of the current plane. If you have already gained one this way, this one replaces it. [2]
Hopefully you've all had a chance to play Planechase.
I wouldn't planeswalk unless I knew there was something very cool there. So instead of trying to find a cool place and potentially ending up on like... Grixis... I'll just send out all my little dudes, and tell em to bring something back that shows me what the place is like.
I don't really like the concept of representing an automaton which can planeswalk as a planeswalker card. The concept of loyalty, for example, doesn't seem to fit. I feel these kinds of effects could have been put on an artifact or artifact creature to fit the flavour a bit better.
I'm not really a fan of a card which only works in planechase. I'm fine with Command Tower not working outside of commander, because the whole point of commaneder is that you build a dec for that format. Planechase, however, is something you can pick up any of your decks and jump right into, so having a card you don't want in your deck unless you're playing planechase seems to me to run counter to that. I'm sure there are people who build decks specifically for planchase, but it's not a part of the format like it is for commander, and so I think the people this card works for are a much smaller group.
And even then, the second ability doesn't even work in plancehase - there aren't any "planeswalking abilities" on plane cards. Planes have chaos abilities, but they don't have "planeswalking abilities". A few have triggered abilities which trigger when you planeswalk, but those aren't activated, and not that many planes have such abilities. If you're making a card which only works in one format, it should actually work in that format, and this just doesn't make any sense to me as a semi-frequent planechaser.
Saying (There can be more than one Automaton Experiment on the battlefield.) doesn't do anything - that's reminder text, and has no rules significance. In order for this to work, you'd have to add a rule to the comprehensive rules stating that the planeswalker rule doesn't apply to Automotons, and that's not good. Wizards has quite rightly moved away from subtypes having rules significance as much as possible (the two which still do are aura and equipment). This should be an ability on the card, vaguely similar to Brothers Yamazaki.
Hapredd's Dromond5
Artifact Creature - Ship (R)
Ride 4 - 2
Flying (W/U)(W/U): Exile Hapredd's Dromond and all riding creatures. At the beginning of the end of turn step, return those cards to the battlefield and attach those creatures to Hapredd's Dromond.
3/3
As a rare, this wouldn't have the reminder text, but it would be something like this:
(2: As a sorcery, attach another target creature you control to this. Up to four creatures can ride this. They attack and block together and share the abilities below, but can be targeted separately.)
So if you had a generic 2/2 and 1/1 riding it, you would in effect have a 6/6 flyer, but spot removal only takes out part of it at a time, and they can block or be blocked as one creature.
"Dromond" comes from the planar dromonds in the D&D world, ships that sail between the planes.
I'm not at all a fan of the Ride ability. It doesn't seem like you really get much at all from it for all the complication it adds to board states. It also seems to require concepting ridable things as creatures - there's a reason "ship" is no longer in use as a creature type. The idea of a plane-hopping ship is cool, but in translating it to mechanics I feel you've made an underwhelming card with an ability which just doesn't feel well-designed, or worth keywording. I like the attempt an innovation, but consider it, personally, to be a failed one.
Kud of Ashsoot MountainRR
Legendary Creature- Goblin Warrior (MR)
Haste
If CARDNAME would die or be exiled, put two loyalty counters on it and transform it instead.
2/1
//////////////////// Kud, Myth of Ashsoot
Planeswalker- Kud
+2: Put two 1/1 red Goblin creature tokens onto the battlefield.
-1: Sacrifice a goblin. If you do, CARDNAME deals 3 damage to target creature or player.
-6: You get an emblem with "Goblin creatures you control get +1/+0 and gain haste."
Regardless of my own feelings about two-faced cards in general, the creature-to-planeswalker transition is a great thematic idea, and one I'm sure I'll see a lot in the custom cards forums while transforming is still the hot new thing. I love the naming transition from "of Ashsoot Mountain" to "Myth of Ashsoot" - just dripping with flavour. However, the card feels too strong. two mana for a two-power haste creature isn't bad, and this one gives you a planeswalker if they block, which can then immediately make two tokens? This needed to initially cost more, or be harder to transform - personally I think it would be thematically cool if the transformation only replaced exiling, so he could be killed normally, although that would make him quite weak.
For years now, I have studied the otherwordly artifacts that find their way into the Great Heart. So many brushes with death were risked for this goal. So much pain. Why this possessed me so long, I cannot say. Something within me felt the pull of these trinkets. I'd become so devoted to my cause that I've abandoned my home and life in the outer rings of Sethara to reside within miles of the swirling torrent that is the Great Heart. Everything this world is comes from without, through the great heart. It must all come from somewhere. Torn scrolls that speak of great floating stone structures, a prosthetic limb of a dull metal that flows with raw power, and many other objects which I could never understand the purposes of.
I have finally found something that may let me learn what is through the Great Heart. It's a stone that seems to have bonded to my soul, and allows me to escape my body, and from there I can go anywhere. Without a body to lose, I could pass through the Great Heart into the land beyond, whatever that may be. Hopefully I will be able to obtain a new body on the other side. I do not know.
Manka, the Mechanized SoulUUB Legendary Creature - Spirit Construct (MR) UU: Manka, the Mechanized Soul becomes a legendary artifact equipment. Attach it to target creature. (It is no longer a creature.)
You control equipped creature. U: Unattach Manka. It becomes a 0/1 legendary Spirit Construct creature. (It is no longer an artifact.)
0/1
(Yes I do realize "Unnatach Manka" is redundant, but it helps the newbies. Just like how Heritage Druid and the like say "Tap X untapped creature(s)".)
Hopefully the little lore bit included should sufficiently explain how this fills the challenge.
I don't like that a large amount of text is required to link the card's flavour to the challenge - a card's flavour should be on the card. If you'd at least hinted at this stuff in the flavour text that would have helped. Because this comes across as an artificially created soul or soul-substitute which can be implanted into a host body in order to control it - which is an incredibly cool concept, but not one that has anything to do with other planes.
Mechanically, I feel that it should have always been an artifact, given that it has construct as a type, and just gained the equipment subtype. It's basically a Dominating Licid which isn't hampered by summoning sickness and can switch mode multiple times in a turn due to not tapping. There's nothing wrong with that, although I'm not sure why it's black.
The second ability can be used even when it's already a creature to reset the power and toughness after something like Wings of Velis Vel, which is a bit of a weird interaction, but stranger things have happened, so I don't think there's a pressing need to restrict use of the ability to only while it's an equipment.
Venser's Ambulator :1mana::symu::symw:
Legendary Artifact (R)
:2mana:, Exile Venser's Ambulator: Exile target creature you control.
:0mana:: Return Venser's Ambulator and all cards exiled with it to the battlefield under their owners' control. Use this ability only if Venser's Ambulator is exiled.
Not a fan of colouer artifacts without good reason - Esper and New Phyrexia had good flavour reasons, I'm not so sure this does. I'd have much prefered the casting cost be colourless, and the activation cost be WU, which acomplishes the same thing without unnecessarily colouring an artifact. Other than that, I love the card - it's got awesome flavour and having an ability which works from exile is cool. It's not design space which I think should be used much, but something like this I feel deserves some leyway on that due to rule of cool. The return cost being 0 is interesting, as it means you can just flicker stuff with it if you want it back immediately, or leave it for later and not have to worry about having mana to return it. All in all, nice job.
How about stealing knowledge of a plane from one's memory?
Dememorize1BBB
Sorcery (R)
Multikicker BBB
Search target player's hand, graveyard and library for any number of nonland cards that share a name and exile them. For each time Dememorize was kicked, repeat this step. Beauty... Power... Hope... you don't need these anymore.
- Liliana Vess
I really wish you'd fit a reference to "stealing knowledge of a plane from one's memory" into the flavour text - a card's flavour should be on the card. It feels a little like you designed a card which doesn't really meet the challenge, then shoehorned it in buy typing an explanation above it - it just doesn't feel like the card itself fits into the challenge naturally. As a card in it's own right, it's great - powerful, but balanced by the cost. However, I'm not sure if multikicker is right here, as it seems like that's mostly used in cases where replicate wouldn't have done the same thing - by adding a different effect than that the card gives. Replicate would I think make the card a bit easier to understand ("repeat this step" isn't exactly rocket science, but I think replicate is simpler), and would allow it to target multiple players, which would be cool.
Wurmhole Generator3
Artifact {R} T: Search your library for three cards and put them into your hand. Then shuffle your library. Activate this only if another player controls a permanent named Wurmhole Generator. "It will allow you to travel through the cosmos and search for vast riches. It's a scientific marvel."
"Thats spectacular! Start it up!"
"Uh... yea. You see.... we can't..."
"Why the heck not??"
"We need another one on the other side..."- Vedalken Scientist
Best flavour text of your team, hands down. The card is really interesting. It lends itself to donate shenanigans for a potential crazy combo deck of some kind, but also has interesting effects on casual multiplayer - potentially too good in team games since it doesn't specify opponent, I could see some playgroups loving this card and taking to running it in a bunch of decks for the cases where two people get it out. Some groups would probably hate it, and it's clearly not going to be competitive, and I don't think it should be printed in a set, but if released in a casual-focused product such as commander decks, archenemy or planechase, it'd be a fine card. Does some really interesting things when you start to think about how groups of people will react to it, beyond just giving one to another player, and while not everyone enjoys that, I love the card.
1: lcd 2: DeusofCalamity 3: Timothy, Mimeslayer
Honorable mention to yewlas for a cool card which didn't quite make the top three.
CodGod - Interesting how this allows you to view your 'own' plane. I believe also the wording could be "Whenever an ability of a planeswalker is activated". I do see it as a very blue card, but probably also not a rare.
The intention was more that you see other planeswalker's memories of their homes/planes they've visited. As for the rarity, I didn't want a card which only interacts with planeswalkers at uncommon or below for limited.
I always liked Revelation. Not much else to say about it; clean, simple, worded wrong ("Players play with their hands revealed.").
Ow. I like the generic-Wish ability, but the cost to fire it off gets a little ridiculous, depending on the card you're trying to grab.
Okay, this is going to take a whi--
Wait, "plane cards from outside the battlefield"?
Never mind. This isn't going to take very long to find a problem: plane cards are necessarily going to be outside the battlefield at all times. Also, this probably works better if worded as "At the beginning of your upkeep, choose one..."
Old wordings used (both instances of "casting cost" should probably be "converted mana cost" instead). Also, probably should use "return" instead of "put" at the beginning of the main effect.
I assume the fact that it fails miserably when targeting Donated permanents is intentional? Otherwise, seems entertaining, especially as a souped-up Birthing Pod (step 1: put out a token; step 2: target the token, pull out something ridiculous).
This does Wishes right. A reference to Ring of Ma'rûf in the flavor text would have been a nice bonus, but you can't have everything.
Minor wording niggles (I think the clause worrying about U needs to be moved to the end of that sentence, and just refer to "...for each U spent this way" instead), but otherwise that seems about right. It just feels a little boring.
I'll leave the wording issues alone here since other people have pointed them out to you. This feels like a door, all right - a thick blast door that's been locked down to keep anything from leaving the plane. I mean, I recognize I was stretching things a bit by basically giving a guy with a radio (but at least he's trying to talk to other planes), but this just feels like the complete opposite of what was wanted.
Of the three "wish-o-matic" cards on your team, I'd put this midway between CrazyMatt and Koopa - it feels painful, but not quite as insanely so as CrazyMatt's. With the five-color requirement to activate the ability, I don't think the life payment is entirely necessary.
Top 3:
1 - Koopa
2 - Jimmy Groove
3 - Krey
HMs - PsiJet and Ninja Caterpie
I like the sneaky edit reasoning. The card itself is pretty good. I don't know if black fits the card though. It could of easily just been blue, in my opinion. I might be wrong though. Because it's also black, I might use it in my blue/black control/scry deck. 8.5/10
hm... I really like the flavor but I don't know if it's necessarily a good card. It gives you one round to come up with some plan, but I don't really see the point of putting it in a deck. 6/10
Weird card. Stealing lands is a pretty interesting mechanic. I like how it's also any land, nonbasic or not, which makes bringing down the enemy from the inside even greater sometimes. The flavor doesn't really go along with it, though. 8/10
Another weird card. It might be a really good standard sideboard card, but I probably wouldn't use it. I like how it has cycle just in case the player isn't using a planeswalker or if it won't help you either way. 7/10
Like how you went with a planeswalker. Really nice. Also, I love the synergy and originality of this card. It's not really one of my type of cards and I feel like it could possibly be broken, I'm guessing eldrazi tribal spells, but I could be wrong. I want to see someone come up with a way to break this. 9/10
This card made me laugh a lot. I can just see someone bouncing it back and fourth between the top of the deck and their battlefield. I would like it for my scry deck honestly though. Combos well with any scry deck (and my main deck is a scry-heavy deck), especially when I got Conundrum Sphinx to get it back in my hand quickly. 8.5/10
I like this card a lot because it doesn't just target a planeswalker you control. Nice, solid sideboard card. 9.5/10
Nice planeswalk card. Not really my style, but it's still pretty nice and balanced. 8/10
Interesting idea, unfortunately, it's poorly executed. It's horribly broken. Turn one: Forest and Rikka. Turn two: 2 Forests, Rikka, and two llanowar elves. If you are lucky, you can have 3 forests, Rikka, and four llanowar elves, and maybe even a bird of paradise. Transform Rikka into a planeswalker with 9 Loyalty counters! By turn five, you practically have an endless mana pool and each turn after that you get another green mana. You should never have an emblem like that, and even then, you should never put it on to the same card with Rikka, Druid Adept's first ability. 2/10
1. CodGod
2. Rimeshade
3. Ced395
God, every time I leave this site for like a week, my brain just erases how to word cards properly. lol. I meant to word it the way you put it.
lol, yep. Vesner is my favorite planeswalker. I meant to have it read "whenever a creature gets exiled, 'return it to play under your control'".
Hyral - Planar Shift
It's confusing to read (I had to read it three full times) and the payoff was not worth the rereading. Not one of my favorites.
lcd - Planescouting
Ooh, interesting. I love Praetor's Grasp effects, and this one is very cool.
MagicBrains - Automation Experiment
Luckily for you, I play Planechase and love it. I love this card too. The -6 doesn't really feel that strong to me (I would probably go with Pools of Becoming, but better) but this is an innovative and strong design.
Gerrard's Mom - Hapredd's Dromond
Riding... is interesting. This is pretty funky. This is a cool card, I'll admit. However, nothing excites me.
yewlas - Kud of Ashsoot Mountain // Kud, Myth of Ashsoot
Very flavorful. My only gripe about this card is that you would want it to die rather than keep it alive so that it keeps bashing. Other than that, good card.
Doom Lich - Manka, the Mechanized Soul
This has the same problem with the previous card; who cares about a 0/1 guy? I would like the cost to be raised and the 0/1 increased to maybe something that might be useful. Good flavor though.
Timothy, Mimeslayer - Venser's Ambulator
Simple, clean, and cool. Very nice card. I like how you can flash the creature back in and abuse etb/ltb effects.
Ryder052 - Dememorise
I like this card but not a fan of the heavy black.
DeusofCalamity - Wurmhole Generator
At first, I was a bit confused, but the flavor text drove it all home. The fact that your opponent can do, too, is something I would fix.
TOP 3:
3. lcd with Planescouting
2. Timithy, Mimeslayer with Venser's Ambulator
1. MagicBrains with Automation Experiment
Sweet, I'm on CodGod's team again, meaning less work at the time of compiling the entries
Team Corridor crits
Hyral: Interesting, I tried something really similar but I like the flexibility you added to yours to basically become Time Stop. However, there are some really outrageous wording problems that take points away.
lcd: This is not a bad card, however, its a total flavor miss, I feel. Libraries represent either stored knowledge or memories, it needed something else to feel like a planar shift.
MagicBrains: This is rather bold, and too experimental. I only know Planechase by skimming the cards, but I have the impression that some planes have way too powerful abilities to be given a chance to roll up to three of them! And as a + ability, nonetheless! Anyhow, it's really hard for me to properly qualify it, and I'm pretty sure you knew that was a risk you were taking with this submission.
Gerrard's Mom: This is one version of Ride that I don't particularly like. I think what irks me the most it's that it's a creature itself. Also, I'm pretty sure that once this is down it get's pretty broken pretty quick as your opponent will surely have to waste tnon of cards and mana to be able to target the ship or any of your riding creatures. Add ETB-effects creatures as well, and you have something really fun to play with but very horrible to see in the other side of the table.
Yewlas: With a sacrifice effect you can transform this at will, maybe even in turn 2 (Greater Gargadon?) at which point is way too powerful. Also, there's no really flavor of "planeswalking"
Doom Lich: Even with your introduction I feel the link to the challenge is way too tenuous: I mean, is like if I made a land destruction spell and then weaved a tale in which I can only travel to another plane by exchanging the patch of soil where I stand with another in other plane. Similar arguments could be made for any other effect, if you get what I'm trying to say. Anyhow, this card is simply Dominating Licid with an unnecessary bleed into black.
Timothy Mimeslayer: Crazy, crazy, crazy. I love flickering effects more than anyone else, but this is just too much. Perhaps it's precisely because I've built so many decks around these effects that I know how horribly, horribly, deliciously broken this is. Just to give a random example, the turn after you drop an acidic slime with this in play you blow 3 of your opponent's lands. And then the 3 left the next turn. Game freaking over.
Ryder052: How does this meet the flavor of the challenge at all? Anyhow some wording problems and the card doesn't really bring anything new to the table.
DeusofCalamity: interesting flavor... but that's it. In 2HG it's hilariously broken. Everywhere else, you'll have to hoop through loops (Donate, etc.) just to also give your opponent the chance to tutor 3 cards.
Top 5
1. I wouldn't give top 1 to any of these submissions
2. Not event top 2
3. Hyral
4. Gerrard's Mom
5. lcd
(Use the last 3 for scoring) You can do better guys!
I'm calling it right now- worst rare in the set. Even good limited players will find better bombs at common and uncommon no sweat. Worst. Episode. Ever.
I really do predict this to be our worst rare in set award winner. I'd be happier opening a jar of eyeballs, so I think anything worse is highly unlikely. This card wont just have zero constructed potential, but not be significantly better than a mass of ghouls in a draft.
Since I hate the banned from Standard and even the Modern dreaded planeswalker no need to mention the name. I gave it nod, this can be mainboarded as well due to its cycle effect. 8/10
It's been a long time since I critique one of your cards and yet you impress me again. I knew how to make this work but its up for the others to figure it out themeselves. 10/10
In standard seems feasible. Gaves me an idea how about making a recurring Temporal Spring effect? 7/10
Versatility seems present. 7/10
The symmetry and harmony imposed in this card seems decent enough for playability. 7/10
Due to its power, I didn't attempt to score at all. 0/10
1st. Rimeshade
2nd. Shaddock86
3rd. I choose Prophylaxis due to the card overall impression.
I love tokens. That said, this card can make five different tokens, each a different color and different abilities (all 2/2, thankfully). I always find myself running short of the token booster-insert cards, so I often use dice or coins. I can't imagine how many different types of dice/coins I'd need to use this thing to its full potential. Obviously, most players would only use it to make one or two different types, but even then there are logistical issues. Not to mention the fact that printing so many different token cards just for this thing would be nigh-undoable. I really like how the token abilities match their respective creature types. Unfortunately, I don't feel the flavor of interplanar adventures here, and the flavor is a miss for me. Also, Planar Portal has already been taken.
First, there are a few minor wording issues here ("play" should be "cast," for example) but I get the overall concept. There are probably more clear and simple ways of understanding this, though, such as "pick a card at random from that opponent's deck" changing to "That player reveals the top card of his or her library." This seems more like a mind-magic spell than a world mirror to me.
Ultimately, between the coin-flipping (multiplayer!) and the copy-tokens, this card seems very tedious. Also, what if I get a planeswalker?
This is a lot of hoops to basically draw a card. Sure, I might get to see random cards in my opponent(s) hand(s), or maybe I can find a better card to draw, but basically I'm just drawing a card. Azure Mage draws cards for one more mana. Also, no hoops. Also, +1 power! How often do you think my opponent will reveal the exact same card every time I activate this? How often do you think that card will be a basic land? Sorry, but way too many hoops at uncommon for me.
This may just be my opinion, but the creative text included here seems excessive. I'd prefer to see the card stand on its own. If you were writing a fiction piece, or even an preview-style article for this card, I'd be on board (heck, you'd probably be good at that sort of thing), but for this format, I disagree with its use.
For the card itself, I appreciate the simplicity. Scry 1 would probably be more fair, but I'm no developer. The flavor works for me, but I don't really like how much scry got thrown around in this contest. Any way, cool card, and thank you for a simple design.
This is very narrow, but I LOVE the flavor. I'd almost rather see this as a 3UU Mind Control variant. At CMC 6, it could just be U, in my opinion.
Is there a reason this exiles itself, rather than just sacrificing itself? Or put the counters on a planeswalker you control instead of just any planeswalker (multiplayer shenanigans!)?
I'm not in love with the flavor text, as its a little wordy, but this isn't a flavor text contest. Great job!
Anyway, I obviously like the idea of a creature becoming a planeswalker (thank you, transform). Unfortunately, I have a few problems with this card. First, no P/T makes it hard to evaluate its power. I'd like to say your card is more fairly costed than mine (it was, admittedly, broken), but I honestly don't know. Second, switching BACK to a creature is a huge no-no for me. I'd much rather see a Gideon-esqe take on this.
Future Sight-y! Is this part of a cycle? If so, five mythic rare slots for reprint hi-jinks seems excessive. If not, this is sort of a random one-shot pseudo-reprint. Do you think most players will get it? Thumbs up for the planar aspect, though. The flavor totally works for me.
I somewhat disagree with this being green from a color pie perspective. Not completely, as Reclaim is a thing, but Green grabbing an artifact always struck me as weird. Same for enchantments, but less so.
Using a wish-riff to show planeswalking is very neat, though. Great idea. I'd flavor it differently, personally, but that's just me. It seems fairly costed.
I thought I had my Top 3 picked. Thanks for the wrench in my plans.
ParaSiempre - Doesn't really scream out to me "Hey, look at me, I am an exciting card!"
Marr965 - Now this on the other hand, screams broken to me. This plus lots of cheap casting cost spells negates the coin flip essentially.
MDenham - This seems interesting. I wouldn't say that it is good enough to ever see constructed play except maybe in a U/B discard control deck, but still, I like the idea.
Oculus - interesting. too overly costed to ever see play outside of something casual or EDH but still, interesting.
Brofaux - I love the flavor, very much so, I could have seen it casted one less though since planeswalkers are much more prevalent than creatures and this is multicolored after all.
dwaynedu - lack of P/T hurts here. Also, having multiple types of counters on it makes it potentially confusing.
ol MISAKA lo - so it costs more mana, but makes Phyrexian Obliterator? Multiple Phyrexian Obliterator? Without being forced into monoblack?
Eremity - I am seeing this as, sacrifice it the turn it comes into play, tutor for a land card from your sideboard and put it into play untapped which would make it better than every other similar spell...
Yewlas: As far as why my creature's an Artificer, it seemed like the best fit for a guy who's effectively a radio technician. If the ansible breaks, he can repair it. Since the only two existing creatures with "Engineer" in their names are Artificers, it fits here.
Also, for reference for other people so they don't have to hunt it down, the definition of ansible.
In order to help my addled brain come to some kind of decision, I'll be grading the cards on this scale:
Card mechanics (1-5). How nicely the card would work in the real world Card flavour (1-5). How nice the card "feels" to me Challenge (1-3). Does the card meet the challenge presented. Perfect templating (1). You get an extra point if the card is templated perfectly. If I don't give you this point and you can point me to another card worded exactly the same way, I'll change the point. (Also known as a tiebreaker, of sorts).
To the points!
Thought Transference :1mana::symu::symb:
Sorcery (U)
Target player draws a card and another target player discards a card. "I wouldn't recommend it." - Kallist Rhoka
Card Mechanics: 5. No problems here. Card Flavour: 4 Challenge: 1 (I'm sorry...) See comments. Templating: 1 Total: 11
Comments: I did read your comments in your post about how you're justifying this as meeting the challenge, and to be brutally honest, that's the only reason you got as much as 1 for the Challenge. Without that explanation, this doesn't have a Planar feel at all. It's a good card (see also Consult the Necrosages, but Planar? Not so much.
Planar Escape :1mana::symw::symu:
Sorcery (R)
Split Second
Play Planar Escape only during your first main phase.
Until the beginning of your next upkeep you cannot attack or be attacked.
Until the beginning of your next upkeep, you, permanents and spells you control have hexproof and you cannot target other players or permanents or spells they control.
Card Mechanics: 3. I know it works, but that's only because I had to read it three times. Also, combo players everywhere would love this card. All those auto-wincons that have to wait until your next upkeep say "hai". Card Flavour: 3. You're trying to remove yourself from the game, but you can still cast spells, your creatures are still there, and they can still (with difficulty) be interacted with. Challenge: 2. It's removing you from the plane, rather than viewing or interacting with it. Templating: 0. The wording on the last ability is incorrect (I'm willing to be swayed on that, but I'm 90% sure that's not how it should be worded) Total: 8
Casual glance - :1mana::symg::symu:
Instant - (U)
Search target player's library for a land card and put it onto the battlefield under your control and tapped. Then that player shuffles his or her library. Suddenly Snar’khi stole a glance at something ... external. This was not of this world.
Card Mechanics: 4 Card Flavour: 4 Challenge: 3 Templating: 1 (probably should be "onto the battlefield tapped under your control" but that's really splitting hairs) Total: 12
Bottled Spark
Artifact (R)
During your upkeep, put a charge counter on Bottled Spark.
Remove X charge counters, , Sacrifice Bottled Spark: Search any player's deck for a planeswalker card with a converted mana cost of X or less and put it onto the battlefield under your control. Shuffle the deck afterwards.
Cycle
Card Mechanics: 4 Card Flavour: 2. I almost gave this a 1. Grabbing control of stuff is usually blue or black (or temporarily, red). Yes there are a few artifacts that can search your opponent's libraries, but they all exile the cards. This doesn't "feel" right to me. Challenge: 2 Templating: 0 (should say "target player". Should search their library, not their deck. The library's owner should shuffle their own library.) Total: 8
Xabrin Rimeshade - :1mana::symu::symr: Planeswalker - Xabrin
Whenever you cast an instant or sorcery spell you may put a loyalty counter on Xabrin Rimeshade.
[+1]: Draw a card, then discard a card.
[-3]: Copy target instant or sorcery spell, you may choose new targets for the copy (you may discard a card to use this ablity as an instant).
[-8]: You gain an emblem with "instant and sorcery spells you control cost less to cast where X is the number of instant and sorcery cards in your graveyard".
[3]
Card Mechanics: 2. This card would NEVER see print with such an extraordinarily easy way to get loyalty counters. I know PW ultimates are supposed to be good, but this one is INSANE. "Why yes, I will Blue Sun's Zenith for 12 cards for 1UUU". See also templating. Card Flavour: 4. The flavour for this is actually fine, in red and blue. It's the abilities that are busted in half Challenge: 1 Very similar to Crustacean's, this is a fine card, but it's doing things on the "current" plane, and not peeking or travelling to other planes. Templating: 0 The second ability; italics inside parentheses indicate reminder text, which this is clearly not. Also, it's very unclear whether this is an additional cost or an alternate one. Planeswalkers (waiting for Innistrad to prove me wrong) can't gain loyalty counters except for their own abilities and Proliferate, especially not as easily as this guy can. Total: 7
Portal Worm :2mana::symu:
Creature - Worm (R)
Flying
:2mana::symu::symu:: Put Portal Worm on top of its owner's library. At the beginning of the next end step, that player reveals the top card of his or her library. If it's an artifact or creature card, that player may put it onto the battlefield.
2/2 Card Mechanics: 4 Slightly confusing, but fine Card Flavour: 3.5 I hate to hedge my score here, but it feels "wrong" to me, yet we have Future Sight. It's probably fine, but just doesn't feel mono-U to me. Challenge: 3 What's it gonna be? Who knows? Ok so most of the time it'll be a Portal Worm, but sometimes (SDT)... Templating: 1 Total:11.5
Dreams of Other Worlds :1mana::symu::symu:
Enchantment (R)
Whenever an activated ability of a planeswalker is activated, you may draw a card. Whenever I sleep, I see through their eyes, these voyagers of the eternities. I know not why these visions come to me, but fear I must learn something from them to protect our world from the horrors I have seen on others.
Card Mechanics: 5 Card Flavour: 4 Challenge: 3 Templating: 1 Total: 13
I can totally see something like this being made. I like this card a lot. The flavour text really seals the deal for me.
Planeswalk
Sorcery (R)
Exile all planar cards in the command zone.
Choose a planar card you own from outside the game and put it into your command zone. "As I was dueling, the ground warped beside me, reality distorted. After a moment of silence we were in a vast, untouched world." Unknown planeswalker
Card Mechanics: 4. Mechanically, this is fine. Which leads to... Card Flavour: 1. Doesn't this mean you're stuck on your plane (it will be your plane) for the rest of the game? Assuming they ever print cards that directly interact with planes - which I can see them doing, in VERY small numbers - they'd never ever EVER print something like this. Challenge:3. Obviously. Templating: 1 Total: 9
(slops for no text, man. Please do so in the future rounds, makes it much easier!)
Card Mechanics: (wow. Tough one). I'm sorry but I'm going to have to go with 1.5 here. The rules as currently written simply don't support this. That, and being able to transform this guy into a planeswalker than can immediately ultimate is a no-no (and very easy to do by turn 4, turn 3 if you try hard enough) Card Flavour: 4. Having said that, this card OOOZES flavour. Challenge: 3. Again, obviously. Templating: 0 Total: 8.5
CrustaceanCrusader - Seems like a good dual color card. On the accomplishing the task, that's a bit too hard for the flavor given.
Maokun - Interesting idea. The card by itself does not give you the idea of going to another plane. Too bad the flavor text could not fit the card because it would had helped the overall flavor of the card.
Lordschuft - This seems very interesting. The abiliy to get an opponent's land could be very nice and has the feel of the challenge.
Shaddock86 - This is an interesting point of view for the challenge. The card is really nice and cycle helps it against decks lacking planeswalkers.
Rimeshade - This one could be mythic do to the power involved here. In the right deck you could pump his counters like crazy and with the third ability it really could be really powerful.
ced395 - Looking at it you could get the wurm back at the end step, or you could manipulate your library and put something big out there. It's power could depend on the capability of the player and the deck. Nice idea.
CodGod - This is full of flavor. The powerful may seem dependent on having and/or playing against planeswalkers.
Prophylaxis - This is really limited. Colorless sorcery and the planar deck only really hurts the card.
Takaline - The idea seems very complex. The requirement seems to be lost in here in favor of the card transformation.
Isn't this more or less a tweaked version of banding? (except this allows you to block together and can share abilities)
Banding doesn't let you share flying and so on (they could make cards that did) and this lets any 4 creatures ride it, while banding only lets on one non-bander.
Also, someone mentioned riders losing abilities, but that isn't the intention, they just also get the ship's ability.
Hopefully I can critique tomorrow.
Parasiempre
I don't really like the different 2/2s, memory issues.
Marr965
Fun flipping, interesting effects.
MDenham
Not bad, but it seems like it would be repetitive. Good for limited.
Oculus
Interesting name and effect, good color choice.
Aeromage
Workable but boring.
Brofaux
Don't think planeswalkers should be referred to in this way in game.
Dwayneedu
Didn't fit the challenge terribly well for me.
Ninja Caterpie - Really average, I don't think Wandering Eye minus body needs to be rare.
How many times would you want to see this thing in a draft? The answer is never. At least Wandering Eye has a body. My thing's not a very good card in limited, so I delegated it to rare so nobody has to face it more than once or twice a draft.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
If you're having creature problems I feel bad for you son
You got 99 attackers but I'm blocking with 1.
The Winner is Judge | 7
This Winner is Also Judge | 6
Club Flamingo | Lots
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He can't "planeswalk" per se, his plane is constructed very oddly, with a core that is literally a gateway into the blind eternities. In his "Spirit" form he is now capable of passing into the eternities without going maddeningly insane, however he can't travel to the eternities on whim, only through the gateway. Which means if he stops on a new plane he can't leave unless it has a similar "gateway".
And as for why it's black, flavor. Flavor does have to be considered.
Generals meant to be drafted first in a single pack of 6 cards.
And here is the actual cube, meant to be drafted in 4 regular sized packs. (60 card decks)
Don't worry, I understand what you were trying to get it. I don't feel that the card fits your intentions though. You shouldn't need to put a card that much into context in order for it's flavor to be clear.
Something like this would have fit what your goal and the challenge:
Ruins Explorer 2B
Creature - Human Archeologist
:symb::symb:, :symtap:: Exile target card in a graveyard, then search your library for a card with the same name as that card and put it into a your hand.
2/2
"Though a new discovery may seem as though it is extraordinary, duplicates must be found to confirm the plane as the object's origin."
Multicolored millcards in something other than dimir.
1 - I don't really see what you're seeing - your permanents come back the same time everyone else's come back and vice versa. After dropping this you're unlikely to do much else with the rest of your turn.
2 - Haste is important here - it allows your creatures to attack as soon as they come back in. And creatures are not lost; this effectively sets up a second battlefield and then alternates between the two.
[Clan Flamingo] Tier Archivist
[15:21] <@CC> Remember, if you argue, you are an idiot.
Untrophied Wins:
Perfect MCC Scores: 2
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I don't know if I'm allowed to do that, but I did, so oh well.
Artifact (R)
Each player plays with his or her hand revealed.
"I can see everything both in this world and the next."
Fairly simple way of meeting the challenge requirements, and fairly costed for the effect. Not bad, but it feels rather…dull. It doesn’t really impact the game in any meaningful way, and really doesn’t interest me that much.
Book of History
Artifact
If a card would be put into your graveyard from anywhere, you may exile that card. If you do, put a charge counter on Book of History.
:2mana:, :symtap:, Sacrifice Book of History: You may choose a nonland card with converted mana cost equal to the number of charge counters on Book of History you own from outside the game, reveal that card, and put it into your hand.
"The man demands to regain everything he lost, but it won't be as easy as he thinks."
This card confuses me. Are you regaining what you have lost, like the flavor text argues, or using history to gain some new knowledge, as the card seems to say. Perhaps you meant to get cards back that were exiled, in which case the card is reasonable, though worded wrong. If the wording was intended as it is, it is quite broken as a land finder, or for any other 0 cost cards. Because of this confusion, I can’t give you the grade that this card could have gotten.
Enchantment
At the beginning of your upkeep, you may choose three plane cards you own outside the battlefield, reveal one at random, then put that card into command. If you do, return each other plane card in command to the bottom of its owner's planar deck if able, or if not able, to outside the game. Otherwise, you may activate a chaos ability of a plane card in command. (Each player controls all plane cards in command during his or her turn.)
Sorcery - Trap (R)
If two or more creatures were put in a graveyard this turn, you may pay :symb::symb: instead of paying Graverobber Trap’s mana cost.
Put up to three target creatures with a casting cost of X or less from a graveyard on the battlefield under your control, where X is equal to half of the casting cost, rounded down, of the creatures put in a graveyard this turn.
Though I see what you are trying to do, a trap that reanimates does not really fulfill the challenge requirements. That aside, this card is very clunky, and worded so that I don’t really know if you are getting total CMC X, or each CMC X. As one of team members said in an earlier critique, in one case it is underpowered, in another, completely broken.
Legendary Artifact (MR)
:6mana:, : Target permanent's owner sacrifices it. That player searches his or her library for a permanent card that shares a type with the sacrificed permanent and puts that card onto the battlefield, then shuffles his or her library.
"What may be, will be." - Urvon the Infinite
Even for the cost, this is quite broken. Fetch-a-Eldrazi/anything for 6 is ridiculous, especially at instant speed. Other than that, though, I do like the flavor, and fellow Timmy’s will agree that, if fixed, this card would be quite fun to play.
Legendary Artifact (MR)
:4mana:, :symtap:: You may choose a card you own from outside the game, reveal that card, and put it into your hand.
When you reach into the bag, you never know what you are going to get! Or where you got it from.
Hey, our first fairly costed, not overpowered card! I like it, though the repeatable effect might warrant a slightly higher activation cost.
Artifact (U)
:xmana:, :symtap:: Look at the top X cards of target player's library. For each used to pay this ability you may put a card revealed this way at the bottom of that player's library.
With these lenses the future is open like a book to me!
Time changer, not plane viewer. It is like fateseal, which is a fine ability, just not really what this challenge wants. Aside from that, the card is very powerful to broken in a mono-blue deck, as it allows you to control every one of their draws from an early turn. I would have made it rare, and cost more to cast.
Artifact (R)
When Cornerstone of Passage enters the battlefield, return exiled creatures to the battlefield under your control.
Whenever a creature gets exiled, you take control of it.
Slight wording issues with the second ability, should be “return it to play under your control”. Or at least, I assume that's what you want from this card. Other than that, it seems like a fun card to build a deck around, though it probably needs a higher casting cost. Nice job.
Legendary Artifact (Mythic Rare)
:symw::symu::symb::symr::symg:, :symtap:: Choose a card you own from outside the game, reveal that card, and put it into your hand. You lose life equal to that card’s converted mana cost.
I’m still not sure what purpose this gateway serves; however the corpses surrounding it do concern me greatly.
1. Koopa
2. NotoriousLynx
3. Viperion
Ah, whoops, I thought I fixed that. Oh well, I guess now it's just a convoluted way of saying "exile all permanents" (the second ability won't trigger from exile).
[Clan Flamingo] Tier Archivist
[15:21] <@CC> Remember, if you argue, you are an idiot.
Untrophied Wins:
Perfect MCC Scores: 2
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Isn't this more or less a tweaked version of banding? (except this allows you to block together and can share abilities)
Banding already lets you block together and gives you a bit advantage when you do... and you can block together anyway.
Ninja Caterpie:
I think they have already done something of that kind.. though a bit more flavorful. Decent card, but not quite exciting.
PsiJet:
Interesting. Combine this with any one sweeper will most likely seal the win for you. I think it would not be used very much without triggering the trap due to that restriction. And I think the wording for card's mana cost should be refined.
Rudyard:
I haven't played Planechase at all, so I don't know how to judge this card.
CrazyMatt:
I think this design is pretty good. It's not so broken, needs some combo or time to finish off, and it requires some play skill to fetch the righty card. This one should really be exiled after the ability resolved, since any recurring effect will make this one broken very soon.
Viperion:
Smells like a 5-color Commander staple to me. The WUBRG cost can't be found nowhere other than dedicated Commander decks, but in such decks this one will be really powerful. Nice try.
NotoriousLynx:
I can't understand what you're trying to do. You're trying to make an ETB effect that relies on the static ability of itself? Odd. I guess you're a fan of Venser the Sojourner.
Krey:
Too powerful. A fatesealing devil that locks anybody down from turn 4 on, arguably better than JTMS. And you did not mention how to put these cards back (which is the most important part).
Koopa:
This cost reminds me of Mindslaver, didn't it? 4 fetches any one card recurringly every turn, for every deck, is too strong. I think it needs to sacrifice itself, just like Mindslaver.
Jimmy Groove:
This is way better than Polymorph, though with a significant bigger cost. Seems decent as a card and playable within the polymorph archetype but nothing new here.
1. CrazyMatt
2. PsiJet
3. Viperion
I thought the critiques should be in another thread... never mind.
Currently Playing:
Standard: Bant Tokens / Jeskai Tutelage
Modern: Temur Twin / GR Tron
Legacy: Miracles / Grixis Delver
Instant {R}
Kicker U
Put two suspend counters on yourself. While you have a suspend counter on yourself; at the beginning of each of your upkeeps remove a suspend counter, prevent all damage you would be dealt and would deal, you have hexproof, you may not add mana to your mana pool, and
you may not have counters placed on you. If Planar Shift was kicked, put a suspend counter on yourself instead.
Joke reminder text: Screw this I'm outta here.
Sorcery (R)
Exile the top card of target player's library face down. You may look at and play that card by paying X, where X is converted mana cost of that card.
/Let's take a look at your world./
Planeswalker - Automaton (M)
(There can be more than one Automaton Experiment on the battlefield.)
[+2]: Roll the planechase dice three times.
[-3]: Activate the planeswalking ability of the current plane.
[-6]: You get an emblem that has the chaos ability of the current plane. If you have already gained one this way, this one replaces it.
[2]
Hopefully you've all had a chance to play Planechase.
I wouldn't planeswalk unless I knew there was something very cool there. So instead of trying to find a cool place and potentially ending up on like... Grixis... I'll just send out all my little dudes, and tell em to bring something back that shows me what the place is like.
I'm not really a fan of a card which only works in planechase. I'm fine with Command Tower not working outside of commander, because the whole point of commaneder is that you build a dec for that format. Planechase, however, is something you can pick up any of your decks and jump right into, so having a card you don't want in your deck unless you're playing planechase seems to me to run counter to that. I'm sure there are people who build decks specifically for planchase, but it's not a part of the format like it is for commander, and so I think the people this card works for are a much smaller group.
And even then, the second ability doesn't even work in plancehase - there aren't any "planeswalking abilities" on plane cards. Planes have chaos abilities, but they don't have "planeswalking abilities". A few have triggered abilities which trigger when you planeswalk, but those aren't activated, and not that many planes have such abilities. If you're making a card which only works in one format, it should actually work in that format, and this just doesn't make any sense to me as a semi-frequent planechaser.
Saying (There can be more than one Automaton Experiment on the battlefield.) doesn't do anything - that's reminder text, and has no rules significance. In order for this to work, you'd have to add a rule to the comprehensive rules stating that the planeswalker rule doesn't apply to Automotons, and that's not good. Wizards has quite rightly moved away from subtypes having rules significance as much as possible (the two which still do are aura and equipment). This should be an ability on the card, vaguely similar to Brothers Yamazaki.
Artifact Creature - Ship (R)
Ride 4 - 2
Flying
(W/U)(W/U): Exile Hapredd's Dromond and all riding creatures. At the beginning of the end of turn step, return those cards to the battlefield and attach those creatures to Hapredd's Dromond.
3/3
As a rare, this wouldn't have the reminder text, but it would be something like this:
(2: As a sorcery, attach another target creature you control to this. Up to four creatures can ride this. They attack and block together and share the abilities below, but can be targeted separately.)
So if you had a generic 2/2 and 1/1 riding it, you would in effect have a 6/6 flyer, but spot removal only takes out part of it at a time, and they can block or be blocked as one creature.
"Dromond" comes from the planar dromonds in the D&D world, ships that sail between the planes.
Legendary Creature- Goblin Warrior (MR)
Haste
If CARDNAME would die or be exiled, put two loyalty counters on it and transform it instead.
2/1
////////////////////
Kud, Myth of Ashsoot
Planeswalker- Kud
+2: Put two 1/1 red Goblin creature tokens onto the battlefield.
-1: Sacrifice a goblin. If you do, CARDNAME deals 3 damage to target creature or player.
-6: You get an emblem with "Goblin creatures you control get +1/+0 and gain haste."
I have finally found something that may let me learn what is through the Great Heart. It's a stone that seems to have bonded to my soul, and allows me to escape my body, and from there I can go anywhere. Without a body to lose, I could pass through the Great Heart into the land beyond, whatever that may be. Hopefully I will be able to obtain a new body on the other side. I do not know.
Legendary Creature - Spirit Construct (MR)
UU: Manka, the Mechanized Soul becomes a legendary artifact equipment. Attach it to target creature. (It is no longer a creature.)
You control equipped creature.
U: Unattach Manka. It becomes a 0/1 legendary Spirit Construct creature. (It is no longer an artifact.)
(Yes I do realize "Unnatach Manka" is redundant, but it helps the newbies. Just like how Heritage Druid and the like say "Tap X untapped creature(s)".)
Hopefully the little lore bit included should sufficiently explain how this fills the challenge.
Mechanically, I feel that it should have always been an artifact, given that it has construct as a type, and just gained the equipment subtype. It's basically a Dominating Licid which isn't hampered by summoning sickness and can switch mode multiple times in a turn due to not tapping. There's nothing wrong with that, although I'm not sure why it's black.
The second ability can be used even when it's already a creature to reset the power and toughness after something like Wings of Velis Vel, which is a bit of a weird interaction, but stranger things have happened, so I don't think there's a pressing need to restrict use of the ability to only while it's an equipment.
Legendary Artifact (R)
:2mana:, Exile Venser's Ambulator: Exile target creature you control.
:0mana:: Return Venser's Ambulator and all cards exiled with it to the battlefield under their owners' control. Use this ability only if Venser's Ambulator is exiled.
Dememorize 1BBB
Sorcery (R)
Multikicker BBB
Search target player's hand, graveyard and library for any number of nonland cards that share a name and exile them. For each time Dememorize was kicked, repeat this step.
Beauty... Power... Hope... you don't need these anymore.
- Liliana Vess
Artifact {R}
T: Search your library for three cards and put them into your hand. Then shuffle your library. Activate this only if another player controls a permanent named Wurmhole Generator.
"It will allow you to travel through the cosmos and search for vast riches. It's a scientific marvel."
"Thats spectacular! Start it up!"
"Uh... yea. You see.... we can't..."
"Why the heck not??"
"We need another one on the other side..."- Vedalken Scientist
1: lcd
2: DeusofCalamity
3: Timothy, Mimeslayer
Honorable mention to yewlas for a cool card which didn't quite make the top three.
The intention was more that you see other planeswalker's memories of their homes/planes they've visited. As for the rarity, I didn't want a card which only interacts with planeswalkers at uncommon or below for limited.
Wait, "plane cards from outside the battlefield"?
Never mind. This isn't going to take very long to find a problem: plane cards are necessarily going to be outside the battlefield at all times. Also, this probably works better if worded as "At the beginning of your upkeep, choose one..."
Top 3:
1 - Koopa
2 - Jimmy Groove
3 - Krey
HMs - PsiJet and Ninja Caterpie
(Probably NSFW) So you may have heard I'm trying to write a TV series...
Most Nominated for Random Categories, 2013
2. Rimeshade
3. Ced395
It's confusing to read (I had to read it three full times) and the payoff was not worth the rereading. Not one of my favorites.
lcd - Planescouting
Ooh, interesting. I love Praetor's Grasp effects, and this one is very cool.
MagicBrains - Automation Experiment
Luckily for you, I play Planechase and love it. I love this card too. The -6 doesn't really feel that strong to me (I would probably go with Pools of Becoming, but better) but this is an innovative and strong design.
Gerrard's Mom - Hapredd's Dromond
Riding... is interesting. This is pretty funky. This is a cool card, I'll admit. However, nothing excites me.
yewlas - Kud of Ashsoot Mountain // Kud, Myth of Ashsoot
Very flavorful. My only gripe about this card is that you would want it to die rather than keep it alive so that it keeps bashing. Other than that, good card.
Doom Lich - Manka, the Mechanized Soul
This has the same problem with the previous card; who cares about a 0/1 guy? I would like the cost to be raised and the 0/1 increased to maybe something that might be useful. Good flavor though.
Timothy, Mimeslayer - Venser's Ambulator
Simple, clean, and cool. Very nice card. I like how you can flash the creature back in and abuse etb/ltb effects.
Ryder052 - Dememorise
I like this card but not a fan of the heavy black.
DeusofCalamity - Wurmhole Generator
At first, I was a bit confused, but the flavor text drove it all home. The fact that your opponent can do, too, is something I would fix.
TOP 3:
3. lcd with Planescouting
2. Timithy, Mimeslayer with Venser's Ambulator
1. MagicBrains with Automation Experiment
Team Corridor crits
Hyral: Interesting, I tried something really similar but I like the flexibility you added to yours to basically become Time Stop. However, there are some really outrageous wording problems that take points away.
lcd: This is not a bad card, however, its a total flavor miss, I feel. Libraries represent either stored knowledge or memories, it needed something else to feel like a planar shift.
MagicBrains: This is rather bold, and too experimental. I only know Planechase by skimming the cards, but I have the impression that some planes have way too powerful abilities to be given a chance to roll up to three of them! And as a + ability, nonetheless! Anyhow, it's really hard for me to properly qualify it, and I'm pretty sure you knew that was a risk you were taking with this submission.
Gerrard's Mom: This is one version of Ride that I don't particularly like. I think what irks me the most it's that it's a creature itself. Also, I'm pretty sure that once this is down it get's pretty broken pretty quick as your opponent will surely have to waste tnon of cards and mana to be able to target the ship or any of your riding creatures. Add ETB-effects creatures as well, and you have something really fun to play with but very horrible to see in the other side of the table.
Yewlas: With a sacrifice effect you can transform this at will, maybe even in turn 2 (Greater Gargadon?) at which point is way too powerful. Also, there's no really flavor of "planeswalking"
Doom Lich: Even with your introduction I feel the link to the challenge is way too tenuous: I mean, is like if I made a land destruction spell and then weaved a tale in which I can only travel to another plane by exchanging the patch of soil where I stand with another in other plane. Similar arguments could be made for any other effect, if you get what I'm trying to say. Anyhow, this card is simply Dominating Licid with an unnecessary bleed into black.
Timothy Mimeslayer: Crazy, crazy, crazy. I love flickering effects more than anyone else, but this is just too much. Perhaps it's precisely because I've built so many decks around these effects that I know how horribly, horribly, deliciously broken this is. Just to give a random example, the turn after you drop an acidic slime with this in play you blow 3 of your opponent's lands. And then the 3 left the next turn. Game freaking over.
Ryder052: How does this meet the flavor of the challenge at all? Anyhow some wording problems and the card doesn't really bring anything new to the table.
DeusofCalamity: interesting flavor... but that's it. In 2HG it's hilariously broken. Everywhere else, you'll have to hoop through loops (Donate, etc.) just to also give your opponent the chance to tutor 3 cards.
Top 5
1. I wouldn't give top 1 to any of these submissions
2. Not event top 2
3. Hyral
4. Gerrard's Mom
5. lcd
(Use the last 3 for scoring) You can do better guys!
2nd. Shaddock86
3rd. I choose Prophylaxis due to the card overall impression.
ParaSiempre
Ultimately, between the coin-flipping (multiplayer!) and the copy-tokens, this card seems very tedious. Also, what if I get a planeswalker?
Also, why is this an artificer?
I'd make this W or U, or both. I assume the R is there for haste, but given what the card does, it's a color bleed I can live with (see //gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Search/Default.aspx?text=+[suspend">"]suspend).
It should say "When Dichotoverse enters the battlefield, exile all other permanents." Otherwise, the card doesn't work.
The cost could stand to be tweaked. 8 CMC is a lot, even for multiplayer. It could stand to be 6 or 7, I'd think.
Again, my gripes are minor. This hits the nail on the head for me, flavor-wise. Great job.
For the card itself, I appreciate the simplicity. Scry 1 would probably be more fair, but I'm no developer. The flavor works for me, but I don't really like how much scry got thrown around in this contest. Any way, cool card, and thank you for a simple design.
Is there a reason this exiles itself, rather than just sacrificing itself? Or put the counters on a planeswalker you control instead of just any planeswalker (multiplayer shenanigans!)?
I'm not in love with the flavor text, as its a little wordy, but this isn't a flavor text contest. Great job!
Anyway, I obviously like the idea of a creature becoming a planeswalker (thank you, transform). Unfortunately, I have a few problems with this card. First, no P/T makes it hard to evaluate its power. I'd like to say your card is more fairly costed than mine (it was, admittedly, broken), but I honestly don't know. Second, switching BACK to a creature is a huge no-no for me. I'd much rather see a Gideon-esqe take on this.
Using a wish-riff to show planeswalking is very neat, though. Great idea. I'd flavor it differently, personally, but that's just me. It seems fairly costed.
I thought I had my Top 3 picked. Thanks for the wrench in my plans.
TOP 3
3. Oculus
2. Brofaux
1. Erimety
Honorable mentions to AeroMage.
Mechanic Creator's Contest III- Winner
[Clan Flamingo]
ParaSiempre - Doesn't really scream out to me "Hey, look at me, I am an exciting card!"
Marr965 - Now this on the other hand, screams broken to me. This plus lots of cheap casting cost spells negates the coin flip essentially.
MDenham - This seems interesting. I wouldn't say that it is good enough to ever see constructed play except maybe in a U/B discard control deck, but still, I like the idea.
Oculus - interesting. too overly costed to ever see play outside of something casual or EDH but still, interesting.
AeroMage - simple, plain, elegant, beautiful, love!
Brofaux - I love the flavor, very much so, I could have seen it casted one less though since planeswalkers are much more prevalent than creatures and this is multicolored after all.
dwaynedu - lack of P/T hurts here. Also, having multiple types of counters on it makes it potentially confusing.
ol MISAKA lo - so it costs more mana, but makes Phyrexian Obliterator? Multiple Phyrexian Obliterator? Without being forced into monoblack?
Eremity - I am seeing this as, sacrifice it the turn it comes into play, tutor for a land card from your sideboard and put it into play untapped which would make it better than every other similar spell...
3. MDenham
2. Brofaux
1. Aeromage
Also, for reference for other people so they don't have to hunt it down, the definition of ansible.
(Probably NSFW) So you may have heard I'm trying to write a TV series...
Most Nominated for Random Categories, 2013
Multicolored millcards in something other than dimir.
Card mechanics (1-5). How nicely the card would work in the real world
Card flavour (1-5). How nice the card "feels" to me
Challenge (1-3). Does the card meet the challenge presented.
Perfect templating (1). You get an extra point if the card is templated perfectly. If I don't give you this point and you can point me to another card worded exactly the same way, I'll change the point. (Also known as a tiebreaker, of sorts).
To the points!
Sorcery (U)
Target player draws a card and another target player discards a card.
"I wouldn't recommend it." - Kallist Rhoka
Card Mechanics: 5. No problems here.
Card Flavour: 4
Challenge: 1 (I'm sorry...) See comments.
Templating: 1
Total: 11
Comments: I did read your comments in your post about how you're justifying this as meeting the challenge, and to be brutally honest, that's the only reason you got as much as 1 for the Challenge. Without that explanation, this doesn't have a Planar feel at all. It's a good card (see also Consult the Necrosages, but Planar? Not so much.
Sorcery (R)
Split Second
Play Planar Escape only during your first main phase.
Until the beginning of your next upkeep you cannot attack or be attacked.
Until the beginning of your next upkeep, you, permanents and spells you control have hexproof and you cannot target other players or permanents or spells they control.
Card Mechanics: 3. I know it works, but that's only because I had to read it three times. Also, combo players everywhere would love this card. All those auto-wincons that have to wait until your next upkeep say "hai".
Card Flavour: 3. You're trying to remove yourself from the game, but you can still cast spells, your creatures are still there, and they can still (with difficulty) be interacted with.
Challenge: 2. It's removing you from the plane, rather than viewing or interacting with it.
Templating: 0. The wording on the last ability is incorrect (I'm willing to be swayed on that, but I'm 90% sure that's not how it should be worded)
Total: 8
Instant - (U)
Search target player's library for a land card and put it onto the battlefield under your control and tapped. Then that player shuffles his or her library.
Suddenly Snar’khi stole a glance at something ... external. This was not of this world.
Card Mechanics: 4
Card Flavour: 4
Challenge: 3
Templating: 1 (probably should be "onto the battlefield tapped under your control" but that's really splitting hairs)
Total: 12
Artifact (R)
During your upkeep, put a charge counter on Bottled Spark.
Remove X charge counters, , Sacrifice Bottled Spark: Search any player's deck for a planeswalker card with a converted mana cost of X or less and put it onto the battlefield under your control. Shuffle the deck afterwards.
Cycle
Card Mechanics: 4
Card Flavour: 2. I almost gave this a 1. Grabbing control of stuff is usually blue or black (or temporarily, red). Yes there are a few artifacts that can search your opponent's libraries, but they all exile the cards. This doesn't "feel" right to me.
Challenge: 2
Templating: 0 (should say "target player". Should search their library, not their deck. The library's owner should shuffle their own library.)
Total: 8
Planeswalker - Xabrin
Whenever you cast an instant or sorcery spell you may put a loyalty counter on Xabrin Rimeshade.
[+1]: Draw a card, then discard a card.
[-3]: Copy target instant or sorcery spell, you may choose new targets for the copy (you may discard a card to use this ablity as an instant).
[-8]: You gain an emblem with "instant and sorcery spells you control cost less to cast where X is the number of instant and sorcery cards in your graveyard".
[3]
Card Mechanics: 2. This card would NEVER see print with such an extraordinarily easy way to get loyalty counters. I know PW ultimates are supposed to be good, but this one is INSANE. "Why yes, I will Blue Sun's Zenith for 12 cards for 1UUU". See also templating.
Card Flavour: 4. The flavour for this is actually fine, in red and blue. It's the abilities that are busted in half
Challenge: 1 Very similar to Crustacean's, this is a fine card, but it's doing things on the "current" plane, and not peeking or travelling to other planes.
Templating: 0 The second ability; italics inside parentheses indicate reminder text, which this is clearly not. Also, it's very unclear whether this is an additional cost or an alternate one. Planeswalkers (waiting for Innistrad to prove me wrong) can't gain loyalty counters except for their own abilities and Proliferate, especially not as easily as this guy can.
Total: 7
Creature - Worm (R)
Flying
:2mana::symu::symu:: Put Portal Worm on top of its owner's library. At the beginning of the next end step, that player reveals the top card of his or her library. If it's an artifact or creature card, that player may put it onto the battlefield.
2/2
Card Mechanics: 4 Slightly confusing, but fine
Card Flavour: 3.5 I hate to hedge my score here, but it feels "wrong" to me, yet we have Future Sight. It's probably fine, but just doesn't feel mono-U to me.
Challenge: 3 What's it gonna be? Who knows? Ok so most of the time it'll be a Portal Worm, but sometimes (SDT)...
Templating: 1
Total: 11.5
Enchantment (R)
Whenever an activated ability of a planeswalker is activated, you may draw a card.
Whenever I sleep, I see through their eyes, these voyagers of the eternities. I know not why these visions come to me, but fear I must learn something from them to protect our world from the horrors I have seen on others.
Card Mechanics: 5
Card Flavour: 4
Challenge: 3
Templating: 1
Total: 13
I can totally see something like this being made. I like this card a lot. The flavour text really seals the deal for me.
Sorcery (R)
Exile all planar cards in the command zone.
Choose a planar card you own from outside the game and put it into your command zone.
"As I was dueling, the ground warped beside me, reality distorted. After a moment of silence we were in a vast, untouched world."
Unknown planeswalker
Card Mechanics: 4. Mechanically, this is fine. Which leads to...
Card Flavour: 1. Doesn't this mean you're stuck on your plane (it will be your plane) for the rest of the game? Assuming they ever print cards that directly interact with planes - which I can see them doing, in VERY small numbers - they'd never ever EVER print something like this.
Challenge:3. Obviously.
Templating: 1
Total: 9
Card Mechanics: (wow. Tough one). I'm sorry but I'm going to have to go with 1.5 here. The rules as currently written simply don't support this. That, and being able to transform this guy into a planeswalker than can immediately ultimate is a no-no (and very easy to do by turn 4, turn 3 if you try hard enough)
Card Flavour: 4. Having said that, this card OOOZES flavour.
Challenge: 3. Again, obviously.
Templating: 0
Total: 8.5
1. CodGod
2. Lordschuft
3. Ced395
Um, what does this even mean?
CrustaceanCrusader - Seems like a good dual color card. On the accomplishing the task, that's a bit too hard for the flavor given.
Maokun - Interesting idea. The card by itself does not give you the idea of going to another plane. Too bad the flavor text could not fit the card because it would had helped the overall flavor of the card.
Lordschuft - This seems very interesting. The abiliy to get an opponent's land could be very nice and has the feel of the challenge.
Shaddock86 - This is an interesting point of view for the challenge. The card is really nice and cycle helps it against decks lacking planeswalkers.
Rimeshade - This one could be mythic do to the power involved here. In the right deck you could pump his counters like crazy and with the third ability it really could be really powerful.
ced395 - Looking at it you could get the wurm back at the end step, or you could manipulate your library and put something big out there. It's power could depend on the capability of the player and the deck. Nice idea.
CodGod - This is full of flavor. The powerful may seem dependent on having and/or playing against planeswalkers.
Prophylaxis - This is really limited. Colorless sorcery and the planar deck only really hurts the card.
Takaline - The idea seems very complex. The requirement seems to be lost in here in favor of the card transformation.
Top Three
1- Lordschuft
2- Ced395
3- Shaddock86
Banding doesn't let you share flying and so on (they could make cards that did) and this lets any 4 creatures ride it, while banding only lets on one non-bander.
Also, someone mentioned riders losing abilities, but that isn't the intention, they just also get the ship's ability.
Hopefully I can critique tomorrow.
Parasiempre
I don't really like the different 2/2s, memory issues.
Marr965
Fun flipping, interesting effects.
MDenham
Not bad, but it seems like it would be repetitive. Good for limited.
Oculus
Interesting name and effect, good color choice.
Aeromage
Workable but boring.
Brofaux
Don't think planeswalkers should be referred to in this way in game.
Dwayneedu
Didn't fit the challenge terribly well for me.
Olmisaka
Weird token thing.
Eremity
Interesting ideas.
How many times would you want to see this thing in a draft? The answer is never. At least Wandering Eye has a body. My thing's not a very good card in limited, so I delegated it to rare so nobody has to face it more than once or twice a draft.
You got 99 attackers but I'm blocking with 1.
The Winner is Judge | 7
This Winner is Also Judge | 6
Club Flamingo | Lots