The world of fantasy card creation sees a lot of ridiculously over-powered cards, but there's a lot of great, well-balanced ones as well. It's always fun to think about a seemingly completely broken card that could be balanced by a few small tweaks.
The game works like this:
You 'fix' the previous poster's card by handicapping it so it might actually appear in a set. Then, you post a card of your own with a crazy casting cost for its ability (either too high OR too low.) Then, the next person has to fix your card and then post one to fix for the next poster. You CANNOT remove abilities, you CANNOT change its casting cost or power/toughness (if it's a creature), etc., but have to ADD handicaps to make it as close to "balanced and playable" as it would be in an official Wizards set. It can be any card - instant, sorcery, etc. Try to alternate between over-powered and under-powered, ye posters!
Okay, first one: Fix my Octopus Ancient so that it seems balanced, WITHOUT changing its casting cost, power/toughness, or removing abilities!
Octopus Ancient U Creature - Big Freakin' Octopus Defender
Islands you control don't untap and come into play tapped.
Whenever a land you control comes into play, sacrifice it unless you sacrifice an island. "It counts it's meals not in ships, but in fleets. It's a pity it drinks too much water."
5/6
Next:
Ninja Pirate BU
Creature - Ninja Pirate
Ninjutsu 0
"What's better, a ninja or a pirate? A ninja pirate!"
3/1
Wandering Necromancer - B
Creature - Human Wizard
When ~ comes into play, remove your graveyard from the game and empty your mana pool.
Whenever a land you control would produce B, it produces 1 instead. B: Return target creature from your graveyard to play.
0/1
I have to run though, so I'll let someone else post the next one.
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():
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Voodoo Shark1UU
Creature-Shark
At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control a creature you don't own, sacrifice Voodoo Shark.
:symtap:: Gain control of target creature an opponent controls if that opponent controls an island.
2/2
Next: Cheat, Cheat, Never Beat0
Instant
~ is blue.
Mulligan.
Draw a card.
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():
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Amazing banner by Rivenor and classic avvy by PurpleD
Cheat, Cheat, Never Beat0
Instant
~ is blue.
Mulligan.
Draw a card.
At the end of turn, you lose the game.
(seriously, that one was insane sans-drawback.)
Yawgmoth's Grill2B
Sorcery
Until end of turn, you may play cards in target opponent's graveyard as though they were in your hand. You may spend mana as though it were any color in order to play these cards. If a card would be put into any opponent's graveyard this turn, remove it from the game.
Private Mod Note
():
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Founding member of Team Kris Kross. Would you like to join?
Yawgmoth's Grill :2mana::symb:
Sorcery
As an additional cost to play ~, discard four cards.
Until end of turn, you may play cards in target opponent's graveyard as though they were in your hand. You may spend mana as though it were any color in order to play these cards. If a card would be put into any opponent's graveyard this turn, remove it from the game.
Next:
Master BlasterR
Instant
Master Blaster deals 5 damage to target creature or player.
Master BlasterR
Instant
Master Blaster deals 5 damage to target creature or player
As an additional cost to play Master Blaster sacrifice an untapped land and pay 3 life.
If Master Blaster would go to a graveyard from play remove it from the game instead.
Oh! I was late. Okay, let me see if I can fix Mr. Chuck:
Chuck Norris' Power Sorcery
Chuck Norris' Power can't be countered.
As an additional cost to play Chuck Norris' Power have target opponent shuffle his library, draw three cards without looking at them, and place them face down. You must correctly guess the name of all three cards. If you fail to guess any of them correctly counter Chuck Norris' Power, discard your hand, remove Chuck Norris' Power from the game and that opponent may gain 15 life and place those three cards in his hand.
You win the game
Puce Moose ignored WUBRGspellsMagic's, so I'll do that too:
Chuck Norris' Power Sorcery
As an additional cost to play Chuck Norris' Power, you lose the game.
You win the game.
Emerald Crab 1UUU
When Emerald Crab comes into play, tap all nonblue creatures you control. Draw a card for each creature tapped this way, then discard that many cards. 1/1
Next:
Ritual of NightBBB
Instant
Add B to your mana pool.
Chuck Norris' Power
Sorcery
As and additional cost to play Chuck Norris' Power, remove all cards you own from the game, then lose the game.
You win the game. The fool-hearty learn that to survive the use of even a pinky's worth of Chuck Norris' power, you have to be Chuck Norris.
Emerald Crab 1UUU
Creature - Crab
When Emerald Crab comes into play, tap all non-blue creatures you control. 2U, :symtap:: Return all red or green creatures to their owner's hands.
1/1
Sarnaths all around!!
Ritual of Night BBB
Instant
Add to your mana pool.
Cycling - Discard a card
Madness
Next up: Mox Rose
Artifact
Rose Mox is red.
:symtap:: Add RR to your mana pool.
Private Mod Note
():
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[The Crafters] | [Johnnies United]
My anecdotal evidence disagrees with yours! EXPLAIN THAT!
Next up: Mox Rose
Artifact Rose Mox is red.
:symtap:: Add :symr::symr: to your mana pool.
What's a "Rose Mox"?
Mox Rose
Artifact
Mox Rose is red.
When Mox Rose comes into play, sacrifice a Mountain or sacrifice Mox Rose.
:symtap:: Add :symr::symr: to your mana pool. Sacrifice Mox Rose.
Next: Bolt Elemental 4RRR
Creature - Elemental
Trample, haste.
At end of turn, sacrifice Bolt Elemental. 20/20
Bolt Elemental :4mana::symr::symr::symr: Creature - Elemental
Trample, haste.
At end of turn, sacrifice Bolt Elemental.
When Bolt Elemental is put into a graveyard from play, any opponent may pay 1 life. If a player does, return it to play under that player's control at the beginning of his or her next upkeep. 20/20
Next:
Control 2UW
Enchantment
You control all creatures.
Control :2mana::symw::symu:
Enchantment
You control all creatures.
At end of turn, target opponent gains control of ~.
Next: Sniveling Imp :2mana::symb::symb::symb:
Creature-Imp
Flying
If ~ would deal combat damage to an opponent, return it to its owner's hand instead.
2/2
Sniveling Imp :2mana::symb::symb::symb:
Creature-Imp
Flying, Haste
If ~ would deal combat damage to an opponent, return it to its owner's hand instead. That opponent discards cards equal to Sniveling Imp's power.
2/2
Next: Bottled Muse4
Artifact T: Look at the top 20 cards of your library then put them back in any order.
I'm calling it right now- worst rare in the set. Even good limited players will find better bombs at common and uncommon no sweat. Worst. Episode. Ever.
I really do predict this to be our worst rare in set award winner. I'd be happier opening a jar of eyeballs, so I think anything worse is highly unlikely. This card wont just have zero constructed potential, but not be significantly better than a mass of ghouls in a draft.
At the end of your upkeep, you may pay :4mana:. If you don't, shuffle your library.
: Look at the top 20 cards of your library then put them back in any order.
Savannah Predator GW
Creature - Cat
When Savannah Predator comes into play, return a Forest card and a Plains card you control to their owners' hands.
First strike G: Regenerate Savannah Predator
2/3
Next:
Divine Solitude
Sorcery
Divine Solitude is white.
You win the game.
About any "subpar" mechanics or cards: Context is king.
If I make a templating or grammar error, let me know.
The franchise MtG most resembles is Battlestar Galactica. Why? Its players exist in, at most, a dozen different models at any given point in time, with perhaps up to 3% variation, 5% if you're lucky.
Divine Solitude
Sorcery
If Divine Solitude would be put on the stack, you may pay its mana cost. If you don't, put it into its owner's graveyard instead.
Divine Solitude is white.
You win the game.
Next:
Chain Death
Instant
Destroy any number of target creatures.
Chain Death
Instant
Destroy any number of target creatures. Then sacrifice all creatures you control. You lose life equal to the total converted mana cost of creatures destroyed this way.
Next:
Chain Reactor
Artifact
:1mana:: Add to your mana pool.
Chain Reactor1
Artifact-Equipment
Abilities of equipment that aren't equip abilitites cost an extra "Sacrifice equipped creature" to play. 1: Add 2 to your mana pool.
Equip 2
Next:
Lightning Tendrils2WW
Instant
Target blocked creature deals damage to each creature blocking it equal to its power. Draw that many cards.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Amazing banner by Rivenor and classic avvy by PurpleD
Lightning Tendrils2WW
Instant
Target blocked creature deals damage to each creature blocking it equal to its power. Draw that many cards. Reveal the cards drawn in this way, Lightning Tendrils deals damage equal to each card's converted mana cost to you and to the creature targetted in this way.
The game works like this:
You 'fix' the previous poster's card by handicapping it so it might actually appear in a set. Then, you post a card of your own with a crazy casting cost for its ability (either too high OR too low.) Then, the next person has to fix your card and then post one to fix for the next poster. You CANNOT remove abilities, you CANNOT change its casting cost or power/toughness (if it's a creature), etc., but have to ADD handicaps to make it as close to "balanced and playable" as it would be in an official Wizards set. It can be any card - instant, sorcery, etc. Try to alternate between over-powered and under-powered, ye posters!
Okay, first one: Fix my Octopus Ancient so that it seems balanced, WITHOUT changing its casting cost, power/toughness, or removing abilities!
http://www.pucemoose.com/g-quizindex.htm
I took a cowfish out to see a movie... didn't have to pay to get it in!
Creature - Big Freakin' Octopus
Defender
Islands you control don't untap and come into play tapped.
Whenever a land you control comes into play, sacrifice it unless you sacrifice an island.
"It counts it's meals not in ships, but in fleets. It's a pity it drinks too much water."
5/6
Next:
Ninja Pirate BU
Creature - Ninja Pirate
Ninjutsu 0
"What's better, a ninja or a pirate? A ninja pirate!"
3/1
Forgotten Arts
Ninja Pirate :symb::symu:
Creature - Ninja Pirate
Ninjutsu 0
If you use Ninja Pirate's Ninjutsu ability you lose life equal to the amount of damage Ninja pirate deals this turn.
"What's better, a ninja or a pirate? A ninja pirate!"
3/1
Okay, next, a poor, underpriveleged Baby Bear. How's about you give him some abilities to make up (and balance) his excessive casting cost?
http://www.pucemoose.com/g-quizindex.htm
I took a cowfish out to see a movie... didn't have to pay to get it in!
Its been a while since someone posted there, though.
--Kiku
Creature - Human Wizard
When ~ comes into play, remove your graveyard from the game and empty your mana pool.
Whenever a land you control would produce B, it produces 1 instead.
B: Return target creature from your graveyard to play.
0/1
I have to run though, so I'll let someone else post the next one.
http://www.pucemoose.com/g-quizindex.htm
I took a cowfish out to see a movie... didn't have to pay to get it in!
Creature-Shark
At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control a creature you don't own, sacrifice Voodoo Shark.
:symtap:: Gain control of target creature an opponent controls if that opponent controls an island.
2/2
Next:
Cheat, Cheat, Never Beat 0
Instant
~ is blue.
Mulligan.
Draw a card.
Instant
~ is blue.
Mulligan.
Draw a card.
At the end of turn, you lose the game.
(seriously, that one was insane sans-drawback.)
Yawgmoth's Grill 2B
Sorcery
Until end of turn, you may play cards in target opponent's graveyard as though they were in your hand. You may spend mana as though it were any color in order to play these cards. If a card would be put into any opponent's graveyard this turn, remove it from the game.
Sorcery
As an additional cost to play ~, discard four cards.
Until end of turn, you may play cards in target opponent's graveyard as though they were in your hand. You may spend mana as though it were any color in order to play these cards. If a card would be put into any opponent's graveyard this turn, remove it from the game.
Next:
Master Blaster R
Instant
Master Blaster deals 5 damage to target creature or player.
Instant
Master Blaster deals 5 damage to target creature or player and 10 damage to you.
Next:
Chuck Norris' Power
Sorcery
You win the game
According to this study I should be deaf by now.
Banner made by: Spiderboy4 :o:o:o
It shouldn't be "dies"
It shouldn't be "is put into the graveyard from the battlefield"
It should be "is put into the graveyard from play"
Master Blaster R
Instant
Master Blaster deals 5 damage to target creature or player
As an additional cost to play Master Blaster sacrifice an untapped land and pay 3 life.
If Master Blaster would go to a graveyard from play remove it from the game instead.
Oh! I was late. Okay, let me see if I can fix Mr. Chuck:
Chuck Norris' Power
Sorcery
Chuck Norris' Power can't be countered.
As an additional cost to play Chuck Norris' Power have target opponent shuffle his library, draw three cards without looking at them, and place them face down. You must correctly guess the name of all three cards. If you fail to guess any of them correctly counter Chuck Norris' Power, discard your hand, remove Chuck Norris' Power from the game and that opponent may gain 15 life and place those three cards in his hand.
You win the game
Next up: Make my little crablet worth playing!
http://www.pucemoose.com/g-quizindex.htm
I took a cowfish out to see a movie... didn't have to pay to get it in!
Chuck Norris' Power
Sorcery
As an additional cost to play Chuck Norris' Power, you lose the game.
You win the game.
Emerald Crab 1UUU
When Emerald Crab comes into play, tap all nonblue creatures you control. Draw a card for each creature tapped this way, then discard that many cards.
1/1
Next:
Ritual of Night BBB
Instant
Add B to your mana pool.
Chuck Norris' Power
Sorcery
As and additional cost to play Chuck Norris' Power, remove all cards you own from the game, then lose the game.
You win the game.
The fool-hearty learn that to survive the use of even a pinky's worth of Chuck Norris' power, you have to be Chuck Norris.
Emerald Crab 1UUU
Creature - Crab
When Emerald Crab comes into play, tap all non-blue creatures you control.
2U, :symtap:: Return all red or green creatures to their owner's hands.
1/1
Sarnaths all around!!
Ritual of Night BBB
Instant
Add to your mana pool.
Cycling - Discard a card
Madness
Next up:
Mox Rose
Artifact
Rose Mox is red.
:symtap:: Add RR to your mana pool.
What's a "Rose Mox"?
Mox Rose
Artifact
Mox Rose is red.
When Mox Rose comes into play, sacrifice a Mountain or sacrifice Mox Rose.
:symtap:: Add :symr::symr: to your mana pool. Sacrifice Mox Rose.
Next:
Bolt Elemental 4RRR
Creature - Elemental
Trample, haste.
At end of turn, sacrifice Bolt Elemental.
20/20
Creature - Elemental
Trample, haste.
At end of turn, sacrifice Bolt Elemental.
When Bolt Elemental is put into a graveyard from play, any opponent may pay 1 life. If a player does, return it to play under that player's control at the beginning of his or her next upkeep.
20/20
Next:
Control
2UW
Enchantment
You control all creatures.
Make a card called Long For This World.
Enchantment
You control all creatures.
At end of turn, target opponent gains control of ~.
Next:
Sniveling Imp :2mana::symb::symb::symb:
Creature-Imp
Flying
If ~ would deal combat damage to an opponent, return it to its owner's hand instead.
2/2
Creature-Imp
Flying, Haste
If ~ would deal combat damage to an opponent, return it to its owner's hand instead. That opponent discards cards equal to Sniveling Imp's power.
2/2
Next:
Bottled Muse 4
Artifact
T: Look at the top 20 cards of your library then put them back in any order.
Artifact
At the end of your upkeep, you may pay :4mana:. If you don't, shuffle your library.
: Look at the top 20 cards of your library then put them back in any order.
Next:
Savannah Predator
Creature - Lion :symw::symg:
First strike
G: Regenerate Savannah Predator
2/3
GW
Creature - Cat
When Savannah Predator comes into play, return a Forest card and a Plains card you control to their owners' hands.
First strike
G: Regenerate Savannah Predator
2/3
Next:
Divine Solitude
Sorcery
Divine Solitude is white.
You win the game.
About any "subpar" mechanics or cards: Context is king.
If I make a templating or grammar error, let me know.
The franchise MtG most resembles is Battlestar Galactica. Why? Its players exist in, at most, a dozen different models at any given point in time, with perhaps up to 3% variation, 5% if you're lucky.
Sorcery
If Divine Solitude would be put on the stack, you may pay its mana cost. If you don't, put it into its owner's graveyard instead.
Divine Solitude is white.
You win the game.
Next:
Chain Death
Instant
Destroy any number of target creatures.
Instant
Destroy any number of target creatures. Then sacrifice all creatures you control. You lose life equal to the total converted mana cost of creatures destroyed this way.
Next:
Chain Reactor
Artifact
:1mana:: Add to your mana pool.
Artifact-Equipment
Abilities of equipment that aren't equip abilitites cost an extra "Sacrifice equipped creature" to play.
1: Add 2 to your mana pool.
Equip 2
Next:
Lightning Tendrils 2WW
Instant
Target blocked creature deals damage to each creature blocking it equal to its power. Draw that many cards.
Instant
Target blocked creature deals damage to each creature blocking it equal to its power. Draw that many cards. Reveal the cards drawn in this way, Lightning Tendrils deals damage equal to each card's converted mana cost to you and to the creature targetted in this way.
Next:
Island
Basic Land - Island
I kid, I kid.
Lets do this though...
Counterword UU
Counter target spell.
Kicker - discard a nonblue card from your hand.
Remove target spell from the game and put 3 time counters on it. It gains suspend. If you paid the Kicker cost, Counter target spell instead.
Up next:
Decent Lifegain W
You gain 5 life.
Instant
Each player gains 5 life.
Resurgence 1B
Sorcery
Return all creature cards from your graveyard to play.