I'm working on a full set based on DC's Crisis on Infinite Earths. But here's a sneak peek, I'd like some feedback...
The Anti-Monitor of Qward (13)
Legendary Celestial Monitor
Anniliation 5, Trample, Double Strike, Death Touch, Hexproof
Sacrifice this creature if you control any non-demon or non-ally creatures. Sacrifice this creature if you do not control a "New Earth" or "Qward of the Anti-Matter Universe"
This creature cannot be countered.
This creature cannot be destroyed by battle.
This creature cannot be removed from the game.
15/15
Moved to the main forum. Also, don't use contest tags unless you're posting one of those contests!
This is frankly just a mess. There's something called the "Superman Principle" which means that (for example) if you tried to represent Kal-El on a card then you'd get rules text the length of a novella. Boil a character down to a couple salient powers and aspects (in this instance Supes might have flying, indestructible, a pinging ability for heat beams and tapdown for cold breath).
First of all, I don't know enough about the DCU to comment on the flavor.
While my first impression says that this card is broken because you're making it so hard to interact with, I really can't evaluate it without seeing the designs for the two cards you're binding to it. If either of them are as hard to interact with as this thing, then we have a problem. If they're vulnerable Achilles heels for this card, it's probably fine.
I also have a few template/formatting fixes:
The type line should say that it's a creature, unless it isn't.
Unless it's a completely different ability, the word you're looking for on the Eldrazi ability is "annihilator," not annihilation.
If you want the card to reference cards with specific names, you have to say that the card cares about cards named New Earth or Qward of the Anti-Matter Universe.
Creatures don't get countered, spells do. The word "creature," by itself, only refers to creature permanents on the battlefield. The correct wording for the ability is "This spell can't be countered."
There is no such thing in Magic as "destroyed by battle," that's a Yugioh thing. Damage is damage, combat or otherwise. It either needs to have indestructible or an ability that just prevents it from being destroyed by lethal damage.
"Removed from the game" is a defunct wording. Now it's just called exile.
Superman, if he were a MTG card, would like just read "flying" with a large P/T or indestrible. Maybe a ping ability.
When making a character into a card, take his most defining attribute and make it into an ability, rather than try to put all their abilities.
Also, I _do_ know of the character, and despite being one of the big bads of DC, he's light on the feats. Death Touch? Double Strike? Hexproof? Nope. He doesn't insta kill at a touch and tends to slug it out. He's a lumbering thing, so no double strike either. And characters can hit him just fine -- he's just really freaking tough. You have "new earth" and "qward", but no cards representing such; not to mention he exists just fine without either.
And Antimonitor is almost by definition a planewalker.
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"Sometimes, the situation is outracing a threat, sometimes it's ignoring it, and sometimes it involves sideboarding in 4x Hope//Pray." --Doug Linn
Well, this card is very weak, powerwise speaking. It's enough that you don't control a Conspiracy effect, and it self-sacrifices on ETB.
But seriously, try to match modern magicese (removed from the game? Really? What is it, 2005?) and think if the card even works as you want it to.
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Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
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The Anti-Monitor of Qward (13)
Legendary Celestial Monitor
Anniliation 5, Trample, Double Strike, Death Touch, Hexproof
Sacrifice this creature if you control any non-demon or non-ally creatures. Sacrifice this creature if you do not control a "New Earth" or "Qward of the Anti-Matter Universe"
This creature cannot be countered.
This creature cannot be destroyed by battle.
This creature cannot be removed from the game.
15/15
Vintage >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Legacy
This is frankly just a mess. There's something called the "Superman Principle" which means that (for example) if you tried to represent Kal-El on a card then you'd get rules text the length of a novella. Boil a character down to a couple salient powers and aspects (in this instance Supes might have flying, indestructible, a pinging ability for heat beams and tapdown for cold breath).
I̟̥͍̠ͅn̩͉̣͍̬͚ͅ ̬̬͖t̯̹̞̺͖͓̯̤h̘͍̬e͙̯͈̖̼̮ ̭̬f̺̲̲̪i͙͉̟̩̰r̪̝͚͈̝̥͍̝̲s̼̻͇̘̳͔ͅt̲̺̳̗̜̪̙ ̳̺̥̻͚̗ͅm̜̜̟̰͈͓͎͇o̝̖̮̝͇m̯̻̞̼̫̗͓̤e̩̯̬̮̩n͎̱̪̲̹͖t͇̖s̰̮ͅ,̤̲͙̻̭̻̯̹̰ ̖t̫̙̺̯͖͚̯ͅh͙̯̦̳̗̰̟e͖̪͉̼̯ ̪͕g̞̣͔a̗̦t̬̬͓͙̫̖̭̻e̩̻̯ ̜̖̦̖̤̭͙̬t̞̹̥̪͎͉ͅo͕͚͍͇̲͇͓̺ ̭̬͙͈̣̻t͈͍͙͓̫̖͙̩h̪̬̖̙e̗͈ ̗̬̟̞̺̤͉̯ͅa̦̯͚̙̜̮f͉͙̲̣̞̼t̪̤̞̣͚e̲͉̳̥r͇̪̙͚͓l̥̞̞͎̹̯̹ͅi͓̬f̮̥̬̞͈ͅe͎ ̟̩̤̳̠̯̩̯o̮̘̲p̟͚̣̞͉͓e͍̩̣n͔̼͕͚̜e̬̱d̼̘͎̖̹͍̮̠,͖̺̭̱̮ ̣̲͖̬̪̭̥a̪͚n̟̲̝̤̤̞̗d̘̱̗͇̮͕̳͕͔ ͖̞͉͎t̹̙͎h̰̱͉̗e̪̞̱̝̹̩ͅ ̠̱̩̭̦p̯̙e͓o̳͚̰̯̺̱̰͔̘p̬͎̱̣̼̩͇l̗̟̖͚̠e̱͉͔̱̦̬̟̙ ̖͚̪͔̼̦w̺̖̤̱e͖̗̻̦͓̖̘̜r̭̥e͔̹̫̱͕̦̰͕ ̗͔̠p̠̗͍͍̱̳̠r̰͔͎̰o͉̥͓̰͚̥s̟͚̹̱͔̣t͉̙̳̖͖̪̮r̥̘̥͙̹a͉̟̫̟̳̠̟̭t͈̜̰͈͎e̞̣̭̲̬ ͚̗̯̟͙i͍͖̰̘̦͖͉ṇ̮̻̯̦̲̩͍ ̦̮͚̫̤t͉͖̫͕ͅͅh͙̮̻̘̣̮̼e͕̺ ͙l͕̠͎̰̥i̲͓͉̲g̫̳̟͈͇̖h̠̦̖t͓̯͎̗ ̳̪̘̟̙̩̦o̫̲f̙͔̰̙̠ ̹̪̗͇̯t͖̼̼͉͖̬h̹͇̩e͚̖̺̤͉̹͕̪ ͚͓̭̝̺G͎̗̯̩o̫̯̮̟̮̳̘d̜̲͙̠-̩̳̯̲̗̜P̹̘̥͉̝h͍͈̗̖̝ͅa͍̗̮̼̗r̜̖͇̙̺a̭̺͔̞̳͈o̪̣͓̯̬͙̯̰̗h̖̦͈̥̯͔.͇̣̙̝
While my first impression says that this card is broken because you're making it so hard to interact with, I really can't evaluate it without seeing the designs for the two cards you're binding to it. If either of them are as hard to interact with as this thing, then we have a problem. If they're vulnerable Achilles heels for this card, it's probably fine.
I also have a few template/formatting fixes:
The type line should say that it's a creature, unless it isn't.
Unless it's a completely different ability, the word you're looking for on the Eldrazi ability is "annihilator," not annihilation.
If you want the card to reference cards with specific names, you have to say that the card cares about cards named New Earth or Qward of the Anti-Matter Universe.
Creatures don't get countered, spells do. The word "creature," by itself, only refers to creature permanents on the battlefield. The correct wording for the ability is "This spell can't be countered."
There is no such thing in Magic as "destroyed by battle," that's a Yugioh thing. Damage is damage, combat or otherwise. It either needs to have indestructible or an ability that just prevents it from being destroyed by lethal damage.
"Removed from the game" is a defunct wording. Now it's just called exile.
When making a character into a card, take his most defining attribute and make it into an ability, rather than try to put all their abilities.
Also, I _do_ know of the character, and despite being one of the big bads of DC, he's light on the feats. Death Touch? Double Strike? Hexproof? Nope. He doesn't insta kill at a touch and tends to slug it out. He's a lumbering thing, so no double strike either. And characters can hit him just fine -- he's just really freaking tough. You have "new earth" and "qward", but no cards representing such; not to mention he exists just fine without either.
And Antimonitor is almost by definition a planewalker.
"Sometimes, the situation is outracing a threat, sometimes it's ignoring it, and sometimes it involves sideboarding in 4x Hope//Pray." --Doug Linn
But seriously, try to match modern magicese (removed from the game? Really? What is it, 2005?) and think if the card even works as you want it to.