I thought of cards that hosed hosers. The MTG slang term made me think of the stereotypical Canadian insult, so I added Canadian joke flavour. Also in silver bordered territory, I thought of the Unstable cards with the same name but functional differences
All are commons named Hoser Hoser. The flavor text names one card that could be affected by that version of Hoser Hoser.
W
Instant
Destroy target enchantment with an ability that affects a particular colour, card type and/or multiples thereof. “This weather is gloomy, eh?”
U
Instant
Counter target spell that affects a particular colour, card type and/or multiples thereof. “That guttural response was rather impolite, eh?”
B
Sorcery
Target player reveals their hand. You choose a card from it that affects particular colours and/or card types. That player discards that card. The 'white' in Great White North is unpleasant enough without a deathmark in it.
R
Instant
If an opponent controls any creatures with Mountainwalk, Hoser Hoser may affect something with protection from red as thought it didn’t have protection from red.
Hoser Hoser deals damage to target creature equal to the number of Mountains you control. The Knights of Thorn were ... well ... painful to the goblins.
G
Gain 1 life for each permanent that has protection from green and/or forestwalk.
R
Instant
When you cast this spell, if an opponent controls any creatures with Mountainwalk, all permanents lose protection from red and cannot gain protection from red this turn.
Hoser Hoser deals damage to target creature equal to the number of Mountains you control.
The Knights of Thorn were ... well ... painful to the goblins.
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All are commons named Hoser Hoser. The flavor text names one card that could be affected by that version of Hoser Hoser.
W
Instant
Destroy target enchantment with an ability that affects a particular colour, card type and/or multiples thereof.
“This weather is gloomy, eh?”
U
Instant
Counter target spell that affects a particular colour, card type and/or multiples thereof.
“That guttural response was rather impolite, eh?”
B
Sorcery
Target player reveals their hand. You choose a card from it that affects particular colours and/or card types. That player discards that card.
The 'white' in Great White North is unpleasant enough without a deathmark in it.
R
Instant
If an opponent controls any creatures with Mountainwalk, Hoser Hoser may affect something with protection from red as thought it didn’t have protection from red.
Hoser Hoser deals damage to target creature equal to the number of Mountains you control.
The Knights of Thorn were ... well ... painful to the goblins.
G
Gain 1 life for each permanent that has protection from green and/or forestwalk.
Vintage: Dredge | Legacy: Burn, Goblins, Soldier | Standard: Mono-Red Aggro
Commander: Nicol Bolas, Sliver Overlord, Rafiq
Casual: Selesnya Saproling Smackdown, Izzet Labs, Rebel
Played since June 2004, mostly inactive June 2011 to March 2018
Other usernames include AlanFromRochester, homerthebeerbaron
MTG checklists from Alpha to Ravnica Allegiance - https://www.mtgsalvation.com/forums/magic-fundamentals/other-magic-products/third-party-products/805324-checklists-for-everything-from-alpha-to-ravnica
R
Instant
When you cast this spell, if an opponent controls any creatures with Mountainwalk, all permanents lose protection from red and cannot gain protection from red this turn.
Hoser Hoser deals damage to target creature equal to the number of Mountains you control.
The Knights of Thorn were ... well ... painful to the goblins.