One uncommon and one legendary rare. I like both of these designs but I'm more eager to hear feedback about the uncommon.
Sustenance
Instant [U]
Choose target creature an opponent controls. When that creature dies this turn, you gain life equal to its toughness. Target creature you control fights that creature. (Each deals damage equal to its power to the other.)
Rayel the Ingenious
Legendary Creature – Human Wizard [R]
Rayel the Ingenious has hexproof and haste as long at least two other creatures you control have hexproof and haste. , T: Target creature you control gets hexproof until end of turn. , T: Target creature you control gets haste until end of turn. 2/2
I think the design of Reyel is trying to extend the usefulness of haste after its first turn on the battlefield. And to that end, I like it but I just need to get used to it being something I care about beyond t1.
I like sustenance. Simple design. It doesn't have to be black but it definitely can. It has multiple conditions to meet before being maximized so I believe it's fine
I think if Sustenance wasn't black (and was mono green instead) it would need to cost more mana. Green shouldn't get efficient creature removal in the form of a noncreature spell. It's is a pretty significant step in power above Prey Upon/Pounce/Time to Feed.
The first one is hard on the eyes for me. Seems like it's worded backwards for some reason.
Target creature you control fights target creature an opponent controls. If that creature dies this turn, you gain life equal to its toughness.
Seems neat. Nice flavor. Wonder if it would be tacky to add a +1/+1 counter to the effect? It seems like it, but on the other hand it would be neat for functionality. Maybe it would be better as a +1/+1 counter spell? Not sure, but from a black/green flavor perspective it does. It's more natural, and grounded, and has that brutish strength that used to be legendary to green/black flavor.
Rayel is strange. Not sure why you can't just use the context of OR instead of and. "This creature has hexproof and haste as long as two other creature you control have hexproof or haste. Doesn't bother anything this way, and makes for better flavor since it comes off as Rayel will use hasty creatures as a shield (akin to a hexproof effect) and can act unrestrictively with other adept hexproofs (in the style of haste).
Try crafting those tap abilities into something more autonomous if you can. I would consider it old-hat to implement legendaries with underwhelming tap abilities. If they're going to have them, you probably want them to be explicitly useful or powerful. For the simpler effects, there's better intuitive design potential available in granting such effects in the form of autonomous triggered abilities.
Instant [U]
Choose target creature an opponent controls. When that creature dies this turn, you gain life equal to its toughness. Target creature you control fights that creature. (Each deals damage equal to its power to the other.)
Legendary Creature – Human Wizard [R]
Rayel the Ingenious has hexproof and haste as long at least two other creatures you control have hexproof and haste.
2/2
UBRKess, Dissident MageUBR - Controlling Dissidents
GRhonas the IndomitableG - Indomitable Four Drops
WUBOloro, Ageless AsceticWUB - Loot & Renanimate
I like sustenance. Simple design. It doesn't have to be black but it definitely can. It has multiple conditions to meet before being maximized so I believe it's fine
UBRKess, Dissident MageUBR - Controlling Dissidents
GRhonas the IndomitableG - Indomitable Four Drops
WUBOloro, Ageless AsceticWUB - Loot & Renanimate
Art is life itself.
If you have any suggestions on better wording, please feel free to share them. I based this wording on Time to Feed.
UBRKess, Dissident MageUBR - Controlling Dissidents
GRhonas the IndomitableG - Indomitable Four Drops
WUBOloro, Ageless AsceticWUB - Loot & Renanimate
Target creature you control fights target creature an opponent controls. If that creature dies this turn, you gain life equal to its toughness.
Seems neat. Nice flavor. Wonder if it would be tacky to add a +1/+1 counter to the effect? It seems like it, but on the other hand it would be neat for functionality. Maybe it would be better as a +1/+1 counter spell? Not sure, but from a black/green flavor perspective it does. It's more natural, and grounded, and has that brutish strength that used to be legendary to green/black flavor.
Rayel is strange. Not sure why you can't just use the context of OR instead of and. "This creature has hexproof and haste as long as two other creature you control have hexproof or haste. Doesn't bother anything this way, and makes for better flavor since it comes off as Rayel will use hasty creatures as a shield (akin to a hexproof effect) and can act unrestrictively with other adept hexproofs (in the style of haste).
Try crafting those tap abilities into something more autonomous if you can. I would consider it old-hat to implement legendaries with underwhelming tap abilities. If they're going to have them, you probably want them to be explicitly useful or powerful. For the simpler effects, there's better intuitive design potential available in granting such effects in the form of autonomous triggered abilities.
Art is life itself.