Sample booster for Tesla, a community custom set by the Goblin Artisan's group set in Kaladesh.
This booster is designed to showcase the mechanics more so than the flavor. So I'd love to hear what you guys think.
THE BOOSTER:
Consul Faithful2W
Creature - Human Soldier (C)
It is against the law for an opponent to cast no spells during his or her turn. Justice - At the beginning of your upkeep, if an opponent broke the law since your last turn began, put a +1/+1 counter on Consul Faithful.
2/2
Fugitive Freelancer3U
Creature - Human Artificer (C)
Flash
When Fugitive Freelancer enters the battlefield, put a 1/1 colorless Thopter artifact creature token with flying onto the battlefield.
1/4
Naga Drowner1B
Creature - Naga Wizard (C) 5U: Tap target creature. It doesn't untap during its owner's next untap step. Fearing persecution for their magical abilities, many Naga have retreated to their river homelands. And quite a few plot to bring home back with them.
2/1
Stamp Out3BB
Sorcery (C)
Destroy target creature. If that creature was tapped, its controller discards a card. "The crime: Practice of magic without the use of artifice.
The punishment: Death."
-Transcript from the Theater of Justice
Chain-Bound Ogre3R
Creature — Ogre Warrior (C)
Revolution (T, Tap two untapped creatures you control: Transform all permanents with Revolution you control. Revolt only as a sorcery.)
3/3
---Flip--- Chain-Whip Ogre
Creatures you control with revolution enter the battlefield transformed. They don’t know who or what their fighting for but any fight is better than imprisonment.
5/5
Take Down2RR
Sorcery (C)
Take Down deals 5 damage to target creature. Raid - If you attacked with a creature this turn, you may discard a card. If you do, draw a card. "Remove the guard and those supplies are ours."
-Jartel, Rebel Acquisitioner
Pioneer Researcher2G
Creature - Human Artificer (C)
When Pioneer Researcher enters the battlefield, recharge (Put a colorless Canister artifact token onto the battlefield with "T, Sacrifice this artifact: Untap target permanent. Activate this ability only during your turn.")
2/3
Rhox Savage2G
Creature - Rhino Warrior (C) Raid - Rhox Savage enters the battlefield with a +1/+1 counter on it if you attacked with a creature this turn. The Rhox know only the language of hoof and horn and axe.
3/2
Battery Golem 4
Artifact Creature - Construct (C)
Battery Golem doesn't untap during your untap step. Powerful after a power refill.
4/4
Soylent Feed1G
Instant (C)
As an additional cost to cast Soylent Feed, sacrifice a creature or exile a creature card from your graveyard.
You gain 7 life. It isn't right. But it is necessary.
Limit Overflow1UU
Enchantment - Aura (U)
Enchant nonland permanent
Enchanted permanent is an artifact creature with base power and toughness 5/5 in addition to its other types.
Galvanic Agent2UR
Creature - Human Artificer (U)
Haste
When Galvanic Agent enters the battlefield, it gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the number of artifacts you control.
2/3
Isolated CitizenW
Creature — Human Citizen :uncommon:
Revolution (T, Tap two other untapped creatures you control: Transform all creatures with revolution you control. Revolt only as a sorcery.)
1/1
---Flip--- Voice of the Populace
Creatures you control with revolution enter the battlefield transformed.
Voice of the Populace power and toughness are each equal to the number of creatures you control.
*/*
Selefar War-Golem7
Artifact Creature - Golem (R)
Whenever Selefar War-Golem attacks, you may exile target nonland permanent. If you do Selefar War-Golem doesn't untap during your next untap step. Æther canisters powered both Kaladesh's industry and its military might.
6/6
Take Down- 5 damage for 4 in red at common with extra upside is a bit much. Red is not supposed to get that much damage for an efficient cost very often. Recommend maybe for 4 damage.
Battery Golem- this seems too tech-y for common. I'd reduce it's toughness by 1 and give it an expensive way to untap itself e.g. : Untap Battery Golem.
Galvanic Agent- could be a little more blue, maybe allow it to give itself toughness instead?
Selefar War Golem- seems like it would be better as a 7/6 or something. is a lot.
Sample booster for Tesla, a community custom set by the Goblin Artisan's group set in Kaladesh.
This booster is designed to showcase the mechanics more so than the flavor. So I'd love to hear what you guys think.
THE BOOSTER:
Consul Faithful2W
Creature - Human Soldier (C)
It is against the law for an opponent to cast no spells during his or her turn. Justice - At the beginning of your upkeep, if an opponent broke the law since your last turn began, put a +1/+1 counter on Consul Faithful.
2/2
"It is" would surely be abbreviated to "It's".
Is it intentional for my Justice effects to trigger off of my opponents' Laws (in multiplayer)? It could read "..if an opponent broke one of your laws..."
Is it intentional for my Justice effects to trigger off of my opponents' Laws (in multiplayer)? It could read "..if an opponent broke one of your laws..."
Grammatic Pedant2WW
Creature - Human Advisor (U)
It is against the law to use contractions in speech. Justice - At the beginning of your upkeep, if an opponent broke one of your laws last turn, detain target creature. "They’lln’t’ve any fun."
2/2
That little joke out of the way, I like a lot of what I see in this booster. Revolution still looks weird to me, but I haven't playtested it so I'll let you be the judge of how it plays. It does look weird though. I also see what might be a theme of artifacts that stay tapped for some reason, but I can't ascertain whether there's a payoff for that or if it's even a theme.
Piar: The staying-tapped artifacts are meant to incentivize players to use Canisters.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Known as Inanimate at Goblin Artisans, and TyrRev at /r/custommagic!
Lead Tesla, a community set designed by everyone and led by me, over at Goblin Artisans. Index of articles here!
Law & Justice - It goes without saying that this is a sweet mechanic. Everyone knows that. It is such a strongly flavored mechanic, that it can easily steal the thematic show, which I think it does here. I think the overall set theme is steampunk, which Law & Order doesn't jive with. It could fit thematically if the other factions were as well defined, which they don't seem to be.
Revolution - Am I missing something here? It seems to lack that special "something" that the the earliest incarnations of Revolution had. It lends nothing to a steampunk setting. It looks like a one trick pony. It's boring. Whatever happened to that transform/assemble a contraption idea? That was awesome.
Raid - Sure. Raid could go in pretty much any set if flavored accordingly. It feels like a bit of a copout here though, I'm guessing to reduce overall complexity of the set.
Recharge - I really like this mechanic alot, but don't understand why y'all aren't using the blatantly obvious "Tinker" for this rather than "Recharge". You already know about this so what gives? It's the artifact token that "recharges" something, not the spell or ability that created the token. Besides, the flavor of "tinkering" is just so perfect for steampunk.
Plus artifacts matter? - Why don't y'all use some version of "artifactfall"? Because Maro said not to? If you really want to design like Maro, just do the exact opposite of what he says not to do.
Overall, it looks like a hodgepodge of mechanics with neither mechanical unity nor thematic identity. Sorry for being blunt.
I have four suggestions:
Shelf Law/Justice. It just doesn't belong.
Change "Recharge" to "Tinker".
Implement the following:
Eureka - Whenever you cast a noncreature spell, something special happens.
Salvage - <COST>, Exile this card from your graveyard: Something special happens.
Is it intentional for my Justice effects to trigger off of my opponents' Laws (in multiplayer)? It could read "..if an opponent broke one of your laws..."
Good point about the grammer, I'll make a note to change that to be consistent across all the justice cards.
Justice triggering off opponents laws is something that I agree is awkward and unintended, I'll look into minor alterations to the wording but it isn't a high priority as the set is basically design for limited and casual constructed play only.
Law & Justice - It goes without saying that this is a sweet mechanic. Everyone knows that. It is such a strongly flavored mechanic, that it can easily steal the thematic show, which I think it does here. I think the overall set theme is steampunk, which Law & Order doesn't jive with. It could fit thematically if the other factions were as well defined, which they don't seem to be.
As I mentioned this booster in currently nearly entirely lacking in flavor, instead showcasing simple mechanical designs. Being a steampunk world is only ones aspect of Kaladesh's flavor, its well established that the Consul is an oppressive goverment, having laws such as the banning of all pyromancy, punishable by death. This oppressive lawmaking fits well both mechanically and flavorfully for the set in my opinion.
Finally due to the exponential complexity multiple laws create and the narrow design space of laws that are actually fun at common its unlikely that Justice is going to "steal the thematic show", due to its low As-fan.
Revolution - Am I missing something here? It seems to lack that special "something" that the the earliest incarnations of Revolution had.
Other than this particular example being a bit more flavor neutral that I'd like due to my lackluster flavor text. The core mechanics of Revolution hasn't changed, what is it that makes you feel this is missing that "special something"?
Also note this is literally the most vanilla of all the Revolt cards, its like saying werewolves isn't cool because of Convicted Killer.
but I don't understand why y'all aren't using the blatantly obvious "Tinker" for this rather than "Recharge".
Recharge is potentially not the final name but due to AEther Canisters being flavored as more of a Consul invention Tinker doesn't really work. It sounds odd for Governments to be doing a bunch of Tinkering.
Artifact matters is a minor archetype theme and not something that needs an ability word or mechanic.
I'll be interested to see your response on a more flavor based booster pack, maybe next week.
Recharge - I really like this mechanic alot, but don't understand why y'all aren't using the blatantly obvious "Tinker" for this rather than "Recharge". You already know about this so what gives? It's the artifact token that "recharges" something, not the spell or ability that created the token. Besides, the flavor of "tinkering" is just so perfect for steampunk.
That one's kind of an accident. An earlier version of the set included a very different action keyword called tinker. (When you tinker, put a +1/+1 or charge counter on an artifact you control, or put a 1/1 colorless Thopter artifact creature with flying onto the battlefield.)
Do you actually feel as though Recharge fits the Consul? (I don't. It feels like a forced fit.) And I still can't see Revolution as being fun. Has it been playtested? If so, to what end? Note that Raid and Revolution have antisynergy.
Are there only two factions (I assumed there were more) - the Consul which gets Justice and Recharge; and the revolutionaries which get Raid and Revolution? And the steampunk aspect is more of a setting than a theme, and is to be expressed via an artifact subtheme (as well as art, naming conventions, etc)? EDIT: If so, then the suite comes across as somewhat less hodgepodgy. (I was viewing it as a four or five faction world.)
The Consul, in the story, are the ones producing Canisters. So think of Canisters like dollar bills; produced and controlled by the government, but can end up in the hands of anyone, especially if they endeavor to steal it from a vault.
Raid and Revolution work better with Canisters in the same set - transform with Revolution, then untap your transformed Revolting creature(s) to attack.
The abilities aren't meant to be split easily down the lines like that, but some do. Justice is pure Consul, Revolution is pure rebels, Raid is rebels and outlaws, Recharge is mostly Consul and outlaws. Note that outlaws on Kaladesh include non-government artificers.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Known as Inanimate at Goblin Artisans, and TyrRev at /r/custommagic!
Lead Tesla, a community set designed by everyone and led by me, over at Goblin Artisans. Index of articles here!
This booster is designed to showcase the mechanics more so than the flavor. So I'd love to hear what you guys think.
THE BOOSTER:
Consul Faithful 2W
Creature - Human Soldier (C)
It is against the law for an opponent to cast no spells during his or her turn.
Justice - At the beginning of your upkeep, if an opponent broke the law since your last turn began, put a +1/+1 counter on Consul Faithful.
2/2
Fugitive Freelancer 3U
Creature - Human Artificer (C)
Flash
When Fugitive Freelancer enters the battlefield, put a 1/1 colorless Thopter artifact creature token with flying onto the battlefield.
1/4
Naga Drowner 1B
Creature - Naga Wizard (C)
5U: Tap target creature. It doesn't untap during its owner's next untap step.
Fearing persecution for their magical abilities, many Naga have retreated to their river homelands. And quite a few plot to bring home back with them.
2/1
Stamp Out 3BB
Sorcery (C)
Destroy target creature. If that creature was tapped, its controller discards a card.
"The crime: Practice of magic without the use of artifice.
The punishment: Death."
-Transcript from the Theater of Justice
Chain-Bound Ogre 3R
Creature — Ogre Warrior (C)
Revolution (T, Tap two untapped creatures you control: Transform all permanents with Revolution you control. Revolt only as a sorcery.)
3/3
---Flip---
Chain-Whip Ogre
Creatures you control with revolution enter the battlefield transformed.
They don’t know who or what their fighting for but any fight is better than imprisonment.
5/5
Take Down 2RR
Sorcery (C)
Take Down deals 5 damage to target creature.
Raid - If you attacked with a creature this turn, you may discard a card. If you do, draw a card.
"Remove the guard and those supplies are ours."
-Jartel, Rebel Acquisitioner
Pioneer Researcher 2G
Creature - Human Artificer (C)
When Pioneer Researcher enters the battlefield, recharge (Put a colorless Canister artifact token onto the battlefield with "T, Sacrifice this artifact: Untap target permanent. Activate this ability only during your turn.")
2/3
Rhox Savage 2G
Creature - Rhino Warrior (C)
Raid - Rhox Savage enters the battlefield with a +1/+1 counter on it if you attacked with a creature this turn.
The Rhox know only the language of hoof and horn and axe.
3/2
Battery Golem 4
Artifact Creature - Construct (C)
Battery Golem doesn't untap during your untap step.
Powerful after a power refill.
4/4
Soylent Feed 1G
Instant (C)
As an additional cost to cast Soylent Feed, sacrifice a creature or exile a creature card from your graveyard.
You gain 7 life.
It isn't right. But it is necessary.
Limit Overflow 1UU
Enchantment - Aura (U)
Enchant nonland permanent
Enchanted permanent is an artifact creature with base power and toughness 5/5 in addition to its other types.
Galvanic Agent 2UR
Creature - Human Artificer (U)
Haste
When Galvanic Agent enters the battlefield, it gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the number of artifacts you control.
2/3
Isolated Citizen W
Creature — Human Citizen :uncommon:
Revolution (T, Tap two other untapped creatures you control: Transform all creatures with revolution you control. Revolt only as a sorcery.)
1/1
---Flip---
Voice of the Populace
Creatures you control with revolution enter the battlefield transformed.
Voice of the Populace power and toughness are each equal to the number of creatures you control.
*/*
Selefar War-Golem 7
Artifact Creature - Golem (R)
Whenever Selefar War-Golem attacks, you may exile target nonland permanent. If you do Selefar War-Golem doesn't untap during your next untap step.
Æther canisters powered both Kaladesh's industry and its military might.
6/6
Are you designing commons? Check out my primer on NWO.
Interested in making a custom set? Check out my Set skeleton and archetype primer.
I also write articles about getting started with custom card creation.
Go and PLAYTEST your designs, you will learn more in a single playtests than a dozen discussions.
My custom sets:
Dreamscape
Coins of Mercalis [COMPLETE]
Exodus of Zendikar - ON HOLD
Battery Golem- this seems too tech-y for common. I'd reduce it's toughness by 1 and give it an expensive way to untap itself e.g. : Untap Battery Golem.
Galvanic Agent- could be a little more blue, maybe allow it to give itself toughness instead?
Selefar War Golem- seems like it would be better as a 7/6 or something. is a lot.
RUNIN: Norse mythology set (awaiting further playtesting)
FATE of ALARA: Multicolour factions (currently on hiatus)
Contibutor to the Pyrulea community set
I'm here to tell you that all your set mechanics are bad
#Defundthepolice
"It is" would surely be abbreviated to "It's".
Is it intentional for my Justice effects to trigger off of my opponents' Laws (in multiplayer)? It could read "..if an opponent broke one of your laws..."
Creature - Human Advisor (U)
It is against the law to use contractions in speech.
Justice - At the beginning of your upkeep, if an opponent broke one of your laws last turn, detain target creature.
"They’lln’t’ve any fun."
2/2
That little joke out of the way, I like a lot of what I see in this booster. Revolution still looks weird to me, but I haven't playtested it so I'll let you be the judge of how it plays. It does look weird though. I also see what might be a theme of artifacts that stay tapped for some reason, but I can't ascertain whether there's a payoff for that or if it's even a theme.
Lead Tesla, a community set designed by everyone and led by me, over at Goblin Artisans. Index of articles here!
Revolution - Am I missing something here? It seems to lack that special "something" that the the earliest incarnations of Revolution had. It lends nothing to a steampunk setting. It looks like a one trick pony. It's boring. Whatever happened to that transform/assemble a contraption idea? That was awesome.
Raid - Sure. Raid could go in pretty much any set if flavored accordingly. It feels like a bit of a copout here though, I'm guessing to reduce overall complexity of the set.
Recharge - I really like this mechanic alot, but don't understand why y'all aren't using the blatantly obvious "Tinker" for this rather than "Recharge". You already know about this so what gives? It's the artifact token that "recharges" something, not the spell or ability that created the token. Besides, the flavor of "tinkering" is just so perfect for steampunk.
Plus artifacts matter? - Why don't y'all use some version of "artifactfall"? Because Maro said not to? If you really want to design like Maro, just do the exact opposite of what he says not to do.
Overall, it looks like a hodgepodge of mechanics with neither mechanical unity nor thematic identity. Sorry for being blunt.
I have four suggestions:
Shelf Law/Justice. It just doesn't belong.
Change "Recharge" to "Tinker".
Implement the following:
Eureka - Whenever you cast a noncreature spell, something special happens.
Salvage - <COST>, Exile this card from your graveyard: Something special happens.
Good point about the grammer, I'll make a note to change that to be consistent across all the justice cards.
Justice triggering off opponents laws is something that I agree is awkward and unintended, I'll look into minor alterations to the wording but it isn't a high priority as the set is basically design for limited and casual constructed play only.
As I mentioned this booster in currently nearly entirely lacking in flavor, instead showcasing simple mechanical designs. Being a steampunk world is only ones aspect of Kaladesh's flavor, its well established that the Consul is an oppressive goverment, having laws such as the banning of all pyromancy, punishable by death. This oppressive lawmaking fits well both mechanically and flavorfully for the set in my opinion.
Finally due to the exponential complexity multiple laws create and the narrow design space of laws that are actually fun at common its unlikely that Justice is going to "steal the thematic show", due to its low As-fan.
Other than this particular example being a bit more flavor neutral that I'd like due to my lackluster flavor text. The core mechanics of Revolution hasn't changed, what is it that makes you feel this is missing that "special something"?
Also note this is literally the most vanilla of all the Revolt cards, its like saying werewolves isn't cool because of Convicted Killer.
Recharge is potentially not the final name but due to AEther Canisters being flavored as more of a Consul invention Tinker doesn't really work. It sounds odd for Governments to be doing a bunch of Tinkering.
Artifact matters is a minor archetype theme and not something that needs an ability word or mechanic.
I'll be interested to see your response on a more flavor based booster pack, maybe next week.
Are you designing commons? Check out my primer on NWO.
Interested in making a custom set? Check out my Set skeleton and archetype primer.
I also write articles about getting started with custom card creation.
Go and PLAYTEST your designs, you will learn more in a single playtests than a dozen discussions.
My custom sets:
Dreamscape
Coins of Mercalis [COMPLETE]
Exodus of Zendikar - ON HOLD
That one's kind of an accident. An earlier version of the set included a very different action keyword called tinker. (When you tinker, put a +1/+1 or charge counter on an artifact you control, or put a 1/1 colorless Thopter artifact creature with flying onto the battlefield.)
Do you actually feel as though Recharge fits the Consul? (I don't. It feels like a forced fit.) And I still can't see Revolution as being fun. Has it been playtested? If so, to what end? Note that Raid and Revolution have antisynergy.
Are there only two factions (I assumed there were more) - the Consul which gets Justice and Recharge; and the revolutionaries which get Raid and Revolution? And the steampunk aspect is more of a setting than a theme, and is to be expressed via an artifact subtheme (as well as art, naming conventions, etc)? EDIT: If so, then the suite comes across as somewhat less hodgepodgy. (I was viewing it as a four or five faction world.)
Raid and Revolution work better with Canisters in the same set - transform with Revolution, then untap your transformed Revolting creature(s) to attack.
The abilities aren't meant to be split easily down the lines like that, but some do. Justice is pure Consul, Revolution is pure rebels, Raid is rebels and outlaws, Recharge is mostly Consul and outlaws. Note that outlaws on Kaladesh include non-government artificers.
Lead Tesla, a community set designed by everyone and led by me, over at Goblin Artisans. Index of articles here!
Nevermind. Apparently, it's called "meld" now. Meh. And bleh. I liked the custom flavor much better.