Platinum Heart4 Legendary Artifact
Sanctity (As you cast this spell or when it resolves or leaves the stack, if you have less than five cards in hand, you may draw cards until you have five cards in hand.)
You don't lose the game by damage from creatures or by effects of creatures. (Damage from creature sources that would cause you to lose the game does nothing instead. Effects of creatures that would directly cause you to lose the game do nothing instead.) In its keeper must lie an immortal light for its secrets to shine—and show they stand the test of time.
I know the effect is more of a Platinum Angel type, but it's supposed to mimic indestructibility, so you figure that out. (Speaking on previous name: Darksteel Heart)
I strongly feel like this is the better way to handle the damage effect, as it's the cleanest, most coherent, and has the best functionality for the concept. It doesn't enable players to be OHK'd by creature sources, but they can still be dwindled down on their life total bit by bit. That extra bit of uniqueness apart from Worship helps to set the card apart, and make it feel new and exciting.
The second clause is intended to include effects that directly cause your opponent's to win the game as well, since that would cause you to directly lose.
What you want to accomplish is very difficult because of how players actually lose the game.
To get close something like this is needed
Darksteel Heart5
Artifact
Combat damage that would reduce your life total to less than 1 reduces it to 1 instead.
If an effect from a creature would reduce your life total to less than 1 it reduces it to 1 instead.
It's very difficult to protect from creature based loss of life and to allow the effect you mention of stopping a Marit Lage from dealing any damage but allowing hundreds of Squires to attack and each deal 1 damage.
The thing is, damage from creatures doesn't kill you. State based effects do, when they check and see you at 0 or less life. Ali from Cairo is the best way to implement what you want, and that's already a card.
So first to address naming expectations: Every card that has the word "Darksteel" in its name has or grants indestructible, so players will expect this to as well and play assuming it does so, to lessen confusion, you should find another adjective to replace Darksteel with (giving it indestructible would be bad for gameplay)
As far as Deux Ex Machina goes (aside of the oft repeated issues with your trigger) this is a reasonable version that, if used exclusively, could be a substitute for a card filtering mechanic like scry in a set, albeit a very powerful substitute. Gameplaywise, cards should be put on the bottom in a random order, so that players don't feel the need to determine the "best" order to bottom them in in the slim hopes that they will cycle through their deck and the decision will actually become relevant. This keyword will also create a large number of draw triggers, making cards like Underworld Dreams or Burlfist Oak become far more impactful in whatever format uses this mechanic.
The comments above make the points about the main effect well. Basically your reminder text should pretty much be the actual card text instead of as written.
From a balance perspective, having it be a non-creature artifact makes it difficult for Black to interact with once it has resolved, and so would be format tilting. You'll notice that "keep from losing" abilities like this are all either on creatures like Platinum Angel (and every color has ways to deal with creatures) or have some condition that turns the effect off like Worship (not everyone can interact with enchantments, but they can deal with the creatures it needs to keep turned on). If your card is just an artifact, Black doesn't have a defined way to deal with it and Blue's options are limited in most environments, making this card almost an auto lockout in those games.
The thing is, damage from creatures doesn't kill you. State based effects do, when they check and see you at 0 or less life. Ali from Cairo is the best way to implement what you want, and that's already a card.
But, by association, the damage is from creature sources. This references the linked association for the effect, and the effect's specification is intended to provide 'soft lock' interactivity by this means.
I notice the attempt to deglamor the effect by changing the wording to composure, but sadly there isn't anything more to add other that to cite it as such an attempt.
The thing is, damage from creatures doesn't kill you. State based effects do, when they check and see you at 0 or less life. Ali from Cairo is the best way to implement what you want, and that's already a card.
But, by association, the damage is from creature sources. This references the linked association for the effect, and the effect's specification is intended to provide 'soft lock' interactivity by this means.
I notice the attempt to deglamor the effect by changing the wording to composure, but sadly there isn't anything more to add other that to cite it as such an attempt.
The problem is there is there is a disassociation between cause and effect. Creatures dealt damage, the damage caused your life total to decrease, you lost the game for having 0 life. Do you see why the game can't just ask "following back on the chain of events why are you losing the game?" and intervene if a creature was responsible. The game can only handle looking back to the previous state.
Also the rules can't be vague. The rules need to be concise and explicit.
Lightsteel Kidney4
Artifact
If you would be dealt combat damage, instead put that many booger counters on Lightsteel Kidney.
When Lightsteel Kidney leaves play, you lose life equal to the number of booger counters on it.
If you put Darksteel in the name of something, people are going to expect it to have Indestructible. I think it's a little dumb to make something that makes you completely immune to all creature strategies indestructible, so it's lightsteel now. Also it's a kidney, because kidneys rule.
I've decided to go ahead and switch up the concept of the design despite the initial intention and context I intended to capture. One reason is that I do agree, despite that this attempts to mimic indestructibility, that it should be indestructible by some means to have the Darksteel name. There's no reasonable way to add a 'hard lock' effect like that to a 'soft lock' effect like this. So since it can't—it's best reverted to its other great likeness.
One aspect I want to notion is the imminence of the Deus Ex Machina keyword for this design. Although the card is powerful, consider to recognize that this is only 'potential', and this 'potential' only becomes 'kinetic' at the point of interactivity.
In the physics of understanding the game-pace dynamics, the influence and domain of hard and soft effects, to establish full equilibrium between them, one must consider that this design, for this reason, potentially hits the board and does nothing; especially in the face of a 'hard lock' removal; before any point of interactivity comes to be (where its potential becomes 'kinetic'). This common event effectively creates a gross negative in the game pace, the exact type of negative that has haunted the functionality and fun of the game for most of (if not all of) its existence.
However, the presence of the Deus Ex Machina keyword provides, in advanced response, a counterbalance to the domain influence of otherwise game/pace-breaking presence/hard lock effect/or soft lock effect. This counterbalance helps to keep the game at an exciting pace where it hopes to never come to a dead-stop, or hopeless disadvantage; but maintains a close-quarters opportunity for enduring time, and/or facing inexorable conditions.
Platinum is a good choice of modifier to the name.
You should still just change the wording to use your reminder text as the effect. The simple litmus test is "Can an average player play this card correctly if I left the reminder text off?" In this case, no, because the card text describes a circumstance that interacts differently with the rules than that of the reminder text.
Platinum is a good choice of modifier to the name.
You should still just change the wording to use your reminder text as the effect. The simple litmus test is "Can an average player play this card correctly if I left the reminder text off?" In this case, no, because the card text describes a circumstance that interacts differently with the rules than that of the reminder text.
That's true for all dynamic effects like this though. I think reminder text like this helps to add to the force majeure of the card. I always recall it being very well-received. It provides a level of detail evocative of exotic power.
Platinum is a good choice of modifier to the name.
You should still just change the wording to use your reminder text as the effect. The simple litmus test is "Can an average player play this card correctly if I left the reminder text off?" In this case, no, because the card text describes a circumstance that interacts differently with the rules than that of the reminder text.
That's true for all dynamic effects like this though. I think reminder text like this helps to add to the force majeure of the card. I always recall it being very well-received. It provides a level of detail evocative of exotic power.
The problen is your current version reads like actual rules text, not like Mindslaver or Time Stop. Further, those effects actually have sections of the rules explaining in further detail what "control a player" or "end the turn" mean, where you don't.
They are more similar to your "Fight target player" card, which was fine in terms of its use of card text vs reminder text. In this case, if you want it to be "evocative" you would need to change the card text to something shorter like "You can't lose to creatures." and then the reminder text would be a condensed version of the Comp Rules entry of what "lose to creatures" means.
Platinum is a good choice of modifier to the name.
You should still just change the wording to use your reminder text as the effect. The simple litmus test is "Can an average player play this card correctly if I left the reminder text off?" In this case, no, because the card text describes a circumstance that interacts differently with the rules than that of the reminder text.
That's true for all dynamic effects like this though. I think reminder text like this helps to add to the force majeure of the card. I always recall it being very well-received. It provides a level of detail evocative of exotic power.
The problen is your current version reads like actual rules text, not like Mindslaver or Time Stop. Further, those effects actually have sections of the rules explaining in further detail what "control a player" or "end the turn" mean, where you don't.
They are more similar to your "Fight target player" card, which was fine in terms of its use of card text vs reminder text. In this case, if you want it to be "evocative" you would need to change the card text to something shorter like "You can't lose to creatures." and then the reminder text would be a condensed version of the Comp Rules entry of what "lose to creatures" means.
Legendary Artifact
Sanctity (As you cast this spell or when it resolves or leaves the stack, if you have less than five cards in hand, you may draw cards until you have five cards in hand.)
You don't lose the game by damage from creatures or by effects of creatures. (Damage from creature sources that would cause you to lose the game does nothing instead. Effects of creatures that would directly cause you to lose the game do nothing instead.)
In its keeper must lie an immortal light for its secrets to shine—and show they stand the test of time.
I know the effect is more of a Platinum Angel type, but it's supposed to mimic indestructibility, so you figure that out. (Speaking on previous name: Darksteel Heart)
I strongly feel like this is the better way to handle the damage effect, as it's the cleanest, most coherent, and has the best functionality for the concept. It doesn't enable players to be OHK'd by creature sources, but they can still be dwindled down on their life total bit by bit. That extra bit of uniqueness apart from Worship helps to set the card apart, and make it feel new and exciting.
The second clause is intended to include effects that directly cause your opponent's to win the game as well, since that would cause you to directly lose.
To get close something like this is needed
It's very difficult to protect from creature based loss of life and to allow the effect you mention of stopping a Marit Lage from dealing any damage but allowing hundreds of Squires to attack and each deal 1 damage.
As far as Deux Ex Machina goes (aside of the oft repeated issues with your trigger) this is a reasonable version that, if used exclusively, could be a substitute for a card filtering mechanic like scry in a set, albeit a very powerful substitute. Gameplaywise, cards should be put on the bottom in a random order, so that players don't feel the need to determine the "best" order to bottom them in in the slim hopes that they will cycle through their deck and the decision will actually become relevant. This keyword will also create a large number of draw triggers, making cards like Underworld Dreams or Burlfist Oak become far more impactful in whatever format uses this mechanic.
The comments above make the points about the main effect well. Basically your reminder text should pretty much be the actual card text instead of as written.
From a balance perspective, having it be a non-creature artifact makes it difficult for Black to interact with once it has resolved, and so would be format tilting. You'll notice that "keep from losing" abilities like this are all either on creatures like Platinum Angel (and every color has ways to deal with creatures) or have some condition that turns the effect off like Worship (not everyone can interact with enchantments, but they can deal with the creatures it needs to keep turned on). If your card is just an artifact, Black doesn't have a defined way to deal with it and Blue's options are limited in most environments, making this card almost an auto lockout in those games.
But, by association, the damage is from creature sources. This references the linked association for the effect, and the effect's specification is intended to provide 'soft lock' interactivity by this means.
I notice the attempt to deglamor the effect by changing the wording to composure, but sadly there isn't anything more to add other that to cite it as such an attempt.
Also the rules can't be vague. The rules need to be concise and explicit.
Artifact
If you would be dealt combat damage, instead put that many booger counters on Lightsteel Kidney.
When Lightsteel Kidney leaves play, you lose life equal to the number of booger counters on it.
If you put Darksteel in the name of something, people are going to expect it to have Indestructible. I think it's a little dumb to make something that makes you completely immune to all creature strategies indestructible, so it's lightsteel now. Also it's a kidney, because kidneys rule.
I've decided to go ahead and switch up the concept of the design despite the initial intention and context I intended to capture. One reason is that I do agree, despite that this attempts to mimic indestructibility, that it should be indestructible by some means to have the Darksteel name. There's no reasonable way to add a 'hard lock' effect like that to a 'soft lock' effect like this. So since it can't—it's best reverted to its other great likeness.
One aspect I want to notion is the imminence of the Deus Ex Machina keyword for this design. Although the card is powerful, consider to recognize that this is only 'potential', and this 'potential' only becomes 'kinetic' at the point of interactivity.
In the physics of understanding the game-pace dynamics, the influence and domain of hard and soft effects, to establish full equilibrium between them, one must consider that this design, for this reason, potentially hits the board and does nothing; especially in the face of a 'hard lock' removal; before any point of interactivity comes to be (where its potential becomes 'kinetic'). This common event effectively creates a gross negative in the game pace, the exact type of negative that has haunted the functionality and fun of the game for most of (if not all of) its existence.
However, the presence of the Deus Ex Machina keyword provides, in advanced response, a counterbalance to the domain influence of otherwise game/pace-breaking presence/hard lock effect/or soft lock effect. This counterbalance helps to keep the game at an exciting pace where it hopes to never come to a dead-stop, or hopeless disadvantage; but maintains a close-quarters opportunity for enduring time, and/or facing inexorable conditions.
You should still just change the wording to use your reminder text as the effect. The simple litmus test is "Can an average player play this card correctly if I left the reminder text off?" In this case, no, because the card text describes a circumstance that interacts differently with the rules than that of the reminder text.
That's true for all dynamic effects like this though. I think reminder text like this helps to add to the force majeure of the card. I always recall it being very well-received. It provides a level of detail evocative of exotic power.
The problen is your current version reads like actual rules text, not like Mindslaver or Time Stop. Further, those effects actually have sections of the rules explaining in further detail what "control a player" or "end the turn" mean, where you don't.
They are more similar to your "Fight target player" card, which was fine in terms of its use of card text vs reminder text. In this case, if you want it to be "evocative" you would need to change the card text to something shorter like "You can't lose to creatures." and then the reminder text would be a condensed version of the Comp Rules entry of what "lose to creatures" means.
Does the current adaptation help you?
I don't see anything meaningfully different....?
How about now?