Hey there guys, I've come here because I love the Salvation community and the maturity it's shown since I've joined.
My issue is the following.
I live in Mexico, and some months ago while I (22 years old) saw an acquaintance and her boyfriend walking with a very cute japanese girl. I'm a very shy guy, so I just let that pass by, however her smile pretty much stole my mind and when I saw my acquaintance added her on Facebook, I took the inititative to add her as well.
Her name is Kaori, and she's studying here because she wants to learn spanish, she got a job as a teacher for japanese kids so she can pay her stay with the help of her boyfriend, who was pretty much rich and took her to spain and USA some months ago.
Kaori and I got along very good. She likes UFOs, myths and manga, and she loves when I tell her traditional tales and frequently asks me to tell her one. However she seems kinda oblivious to others and she never talks to people unless they talk to her, like, we talk thru Facebook and she barely even takes the initiative to start a conversation with anyone, she's like, always waiting for others to start it.
I learnt that Kaori lives in a city an hour away from mine, and that as I told you before, she had a boyfriend in Japan, which made me really sad.
Last week we were talking and she told me she'd really like to meet me via Skype because she wants to learn more about spanish, and she says she feels really comfortable speaking to me because I'm very kind and patient to her, and she was aching to listen to more stories. She asked me to talk that night but I had to hand a project at college, so we couldn't talk. She told me she was working and couldn't reply, but she'd love to read another story, so I wrote her, she never replied...
A couple days later I saw a post on her wall where she said she was depressed. I talked to her and she apologized since she said she "forgot to reply", and then she told me she was really, really sad. She told me her boyfriend was cheating on her and they broke up, and then her best friends in Mexico (who were foreigners) returned to their countries. A mexican guy that was always close to her invited her to go out and talk, but he tried to touch and kiss her which made her feel even worse, and lastly she told me she feels completely alone because her mother in Japan hates her, her father is always bussy so she said her "family is dead". She doesn't feels as part of Mexico nor Japan, she's lonely.
I gave her some motivational words but the language barrier just made some things not go thru her, and she's like, trying to look unaltered, like, she tries to hard to hide what she feels from others.
She thanked me for all my support and I haven't talked to her since then. She seems to mistrust males and mexican people in general now and has been going out with some japanese girls that still hang arround.
I really like Kaori, but she's so complex and her situation just helps to drive her away from me.
A couple days later I saw a post on her wall where she said she was depressed. I talked to her and she apologized since she said she "forgot to reply", and then she told me she was really, really sad. She told me her boyfriend was cheating on her and they broke up, and then her best friends in Mexico (who were foreigners) returned to their countries. A mexican guy that was always close to her invited her to go out and talk, but he tried to touch and kiss her which made her feel even worse, and lastly she told me she feels completely alone because her mother in Japan hates her, her father is always bussy so she said her "family is dead". She doesn't feels as part of Mexico nor Japan, she's lonely.
I gave her some motivational words but the language barrier just made some things not go thru her, and she's like, trying to look unaltered, like, she tries to hard to hide what she feels from others.
She thanked me for all my support and I haven't talked to her since then. She seems to mistrust males and mexican people in general now and has been going out with some japanese girls that still hang arround.
I really like Kaori, but she's so complex and her situation just helps to drive her away from me.
Well try to put yourself in her position.
- Her boyfriend dumped her after cheating on her and betraying her trust, and I assume they were dating for a while so add that on top of it.
- She's in a foreign country and she's not fluent in the language.
- She feels lost and her plans are in upheaval.
- She has no close friends who are Japanese around.
- She apparently doesn't know where home is if she doesn't feel that she's part of Mexico or Japan.
- A close friend of hers came onto her.
- Her family situation is complicated to say the least
Her life is in upheaval right now, and she seems a pretty introverted person to begin with.
Just understand that. Her life is all sorts of messed up right now. It's good that you care about her, so give her space, tell her that you care and that you want to help her out however you can, but give her time to sort her own life out.
Also remember: not your job to fix her. I'm going to repeat that: it's not your job to fix her.
My issue is the following.
I live in Mexico, and some months ago while I (22 years old) saw an acquaintance and her boyfriend walking with a very cute japanese girl. I'm a very shy guy, so I just let that pass by, however her smile pretty much stole my mind and when I saw my acquaintance added her on Facebook, I took the inititative to add her as well.
Her name is Kaori, and she's studying here because she wants to learn spanish, she got a job as a teacher for japanese kids so she can pay her stay with the help of her boyfriend, who was pretty much rich and took her to spain and USA some months ago.
Kaori and I got along very good. She likes UFOs, myths and manga, and she loves when I tell her traditional tales and frequently asks me to tell her one. However she seems kinda oblivious to others and she never talks to people unless they talk to her, like, we talk thru Facebook and she barely even takes the initiative to start a conversation with anyone, she's like, always waiting for others to start it.
I learnt that Kaori lives in a city an hour away from mine, and that as I told you before, she had a boyfriend in Japan, which made me really sad.
Last week we were talking and she told me she'd really like to meet me via Skype because she wants to learn more about spanish, and she says she feels really comfortable speaking to me because I'm very kind and patient to her, and she was aching to listen to more stories. She asked me to talk that night but I had to hand a project at college, so we couldn't talk. She told me she was working and couldn't reply, but she'd love to read another story, so I wrote her, she never replied...
A couple days later I saw a post on her wall where she said she was depressed. I talked to her and she apologized since she said she "forgot to reply", and then she told me she was really, really sad. She told me her boyfriend was cheating on her and they broke up, and then her best friends in Mexico (who were foreigners) returned to their countries. A mexican guy that was always close to her invited her to go out and talk, but he tried to touch and kiss her which made her feel even worse, and lastly she told me she feels completely alone because her mother in Japan hates her, her father is always bussy so she said her "family is dead". She doesn't feels as part of Mexico nor Japan, she's lonely.
I gave her some motivational words but the language barrier just made some things not go thru her, and she's like, trying to look unaltered, like, she tries to hard to hide what she feels from others.
She thanked me for all my support and I haven't talked to her since then. She seems to mistrust males and mexican people in general now and has been going out with some japanese girls that still hang arround.
I really like Kaori, but she's so complex and her situation just helps to drive her away from me.
- Her boyfriend dumped her after cheating on her and betraying her trust, and I assume they were dating for a while so add that on top of it.
- She's in a foreign country and she's not fluent in the language.
- She feels lost and her plans are in upheaval.
- She has no close friends who are Japanese around.
- She apparently doesn't know where home is if she doesn't feel that she's part of Mexico or Japan.
- A close friend of hers came onto her.
- Her family situation is complicated to say the least
Her life is in upheaval right now, and she seems a pretty introverted person to begin with.
Just understand that. Her life is all sorts of messed up right now. It's good that you care about her, so give her space, tell her that you care and that you want to help her out however you can, but give her time to sort her own life out.
Also remember: not your job to fix her. I'm going to repeat that: it's not your job to fix her.