I'm starting to feel like am in a position in my life where virtually everything is a source of stress, and I'm getting tired of it.
That said, I have the means to afford moving and taking care of myself for a while.
With that said, have you ever thought about just, well, leaving? Pick a place you like, get a hotel room for a little while, find an apartment, a job, and just start again?
I know that the "leave it all behind" approach is short sighted and a bit selfish, but I wanted to pose the question anyway. I'm especially interested if one of you has actually done this and hearing what the experience was like.
1) If everything is stressing you out, you may be the problem. I'd recommend seeing a therapist and talking to them about it before picking up and moving. If it's depression or anxiety-related, simply moving isn't going to help and it may just make things worse.
2) Just packing up and going isn't a good idea. We're not exactly in an environment where someone can just show up somewhere and expect to get a decent job before their modest savings runs out. What does 'take care of yourself for a while' mean to you? If you want out of your current situation, find a job elsewhere first or just move somewhere else in the same area and distance yourself.
3) What would you be leaving behind? Do you really want to burn those bridges permanently, because if you just up and move to get away from people, those people don't forget about it. Especially when you leave without a plan.
Your first one reminds me of the despair.com poster that says "The only consistent factor in all your failed relationships is you."
As far as resources are concerned, I could get by for a couple of years. I also happen to work in an industry that still has high demand, both for full time people and contractors/consultants, so I could probably find work without much of a struggle.
As far as what I'd be leaving behind: friendships, current job, and that's about it. No family, don't own a house.
FWIW, I am currently interviewing at places in other states, but this thought crosses my mind from time to time and I wanted to hear what others had to say, so thank you for replying
Sure, there is nothing wrong with wanting a fresh start, just make sure you're prepared.
And I also love that quote, although my favorite version of that particular piece of wisdom is from Justified:
"If you met an ******** in the morning, you met an ********. If you meet ********s all day, you're the ********."
It's just good to be reminded to get out of your own head every once in a while and try to examine something more objectively. If more people did this on a regular basis, the world would be a much better place.
I've personally been in the situation before. After my senior year of college i had to move out of my house. My mom and stepdad were drunks. He was pretty nice, but fought all the time with my mom. My mom wasn't so nice. I ended up moving out of the city and staying in college for a while. i stopped going to college, and came back to the city, but lived with my aunt because i had work near her. I still see my mom once every week or two, but i left, and it was a good decision on my part so far.
It felt like every part of my life was stressing me out, but it mostly just stemmed from that. School was getting tougher, i got sick my senior year and had to have my tonsils out. I lost a decent number of friends through high school, just because we grew apart and went in different directions. Now things are better.
If it feels like every single thing bothers you for a different reason, then maybe you do need to surround yourself with different things. Or maybe you need to change the way you look at things. I would certainly try making an inner change before you went with an outward one though. Inner changes don't cost a dime, and are a lot less physical work than moving your life and starting over.
So overall i would say don't uproot yourself just yet. Give everything, including yourself, a chance. Be patient with life. Keep in mind it's going to stress you out, and you can't avoid stress no matter where you go. The best thing to do is to change the way you relate to it, but if it's too far gone, you may need a fresh start, and that isn't a bad thing.
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Whats the big deal about black lotus you ask? Well you see, there is no big deal about it. It IS the big deal.
I'm starting to feel like am in a position in my life where virtually everything is a source of stress, and I'm getting tired of it.
That said, I have the means to afford moving and taking care of myself for a while.
With that said, have you ever thought about just, well, leaving? Pick a place you like, get a hotel room for a little while, find an apartment, a job, and just start again?
I know that the "leave it all behind" approach is short sighted and a bit selfish, but I wanted to pose the question anyway. I'm especially interested if one of you has actually done this and hearing what the experience was like.
Thoughts?
I've done it quite a few times and ended up homeless every single time. I've rebounded well each time only to do it again. I'll spare the drama and tell you the answer. Deal with your problems, do not run from them. You WILL have to deal with them eventually. With that said, sometimes you need to destroy to create but its important you understand the consequence and are prepared to deal with certain outcomes. There is something to be said for moving on but you need to understand what you want to accomplish with your move or it's an exercise in futility. Going to look for the unknown is an exercise in futility for most people.
I did it. Hated my job and living situation. Tossed all the stuff I owned into the back of a car and drove to a new state, new city. Got a job within two weeks.
Research unemployment rates first. Dont pick something at random
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Nyarlathotep must all things be told
for he is the messenger between the spheres
and the traveler between the realms of the living and the dead.
He shall summon forth the ancient ones
and wake them from their deathly slumber
then shall the elder signs be shattered. Trade Thread
Like everyone else says, you can't really run from your problems. Eventually they catch up to you. Besides why would you want to leave Greendale? The zany shenanigans alone should be more than enough to keep a human being happy.
Unless you too, still mourn the loss of Troy.
Remember that the grass is always greener. You very well could end up hating wherever you escape to more than your current residence. I've hated Cleveland for the longest time and when I was younger I was in the same situation (although I did have less fallback moneys) but I could never bring myself to up and leave my family and friends despite despising this area. It's a very difficult life decision. I know many people who have moved across country to start fresh and only a few were really successful (relatively speaking).
Just make sure the problem is going to get solved when you leave. If it is some sort of emotional problem leading to your unhappiness then just the mere moving may not solve it.
I understand the "don't run from your problems" mantra, but I think I'm having a tough time seeing ways those problems could even be solved in the first place. My family is of no use to me (I have another thread in this section if you wanted a glimpse into that, haha), my friends largely seem to expect things of me to the point where I've distanced myself because I felt like I was being used, and I'm extremely unhappy with my job and similar jobs in the area don't interest me (and trust me, I've looked quite a bit).
I'm the kind of person who thinks that people never really change, and I have no patience for relationships that require a tune up every few months to remind the other person "hey, I don't like how you're treating me." I'm still civil to them, but for the most part I just stop bothering with them.
I've already had people suggest I "talk to someone", and perhaps this is naive, but it don't see why I need find ways to cope with people I don't want to have in my life anymore when it's easier to just cast them off.
Take a vacation. Just drop your life responsibilities for a short time and go somewhere you've never been before. Nothing like a change of scenery to reduce immediate stress.
I understand social and vocational stagnation because I'm going through it myself. Leaving might be the best solution but it's not really a first step in positively changing your life. Planning is the key to success and will reduce the liklihood of regrets later on. Since you seem to have a decent level of financial stability perhaps traveling to a trade show or convention of your profession would be helpful. Seminars, training, and networking AND a vacation seem like a winning proposition. It's a great way to feel out the job markets and social scenes of potential relocation spots.
1. Context of you
2. Context of through you
3. Context of everything without you
If certain people's behaviors are carried on without your being there, and people have a certain reputation that is known. Then those people are a part of the problem, and can easily also be affecting and influencing your own behaviors in a different way. Especially, if you're behaving different in a different environment for long sustained periods of time.
There's a real limit to person responsibility when collective responsibility enters the mix. There's a collective responsibility to maintain a healthy environment so that individuals can grow and experience a higher quality of life. If the people are seriously toxic or do not share your values as an individual, then looking for other places to live and other people to associate leads for the better.
Removing evil influences isn't running from a problem, it's called shunning/removing the problem and when done as a last sort and in a healthy situation. You're more able to thrive so as long as you don't encourage other people of a similar way back into your life.
I agree with Bitsy, take things slow, and analyze where a good move is. Build contacts and the like. Unless of course someone is directly trying to really harm you, then get out of the situation as soon as possible.
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Life is a beautiful engineer, yet a brutal scientist.
I'm the kind of person who thinks that people never really change, and I have no patience for relationships that require a tune up every few months to remind the other person "hey, I don't like how you're treating me." I'm still civil to them, but for the most part I just stop bothering with them.
This bit troubles me a little. I'm not a psychologist or anything, but I have battled depression all my life. And the above quote sounds like something I've said when I was really depressed. Relationships take work. You will never in your life have a relationship that just runs on its own without an occasional "tune up." I used to run from romantic relationships whenever they got hard, for the same reasons you cite in your quote above; I figured if I had to work to make it work, why bother? But eventually I realized that I was the problem. It wasn't that I hadn't found the right person, it was that I wasn't willing to try to make it work with a potential right person.
That said, I have the means to afford moving and taking care of myself for a while.
With that said, have you ever thought about just, well, leaving? Pick a place you like, get a hotel room for a little while, find an apartment, a job, and just start again?
I know that the "leave it all behind" approach is short sighted and a bit selfish, but I wanted to pose the question anyway. I'm especially interested if one of you has actually done this and hearing what the experience was like.
Thoughts?
Want to be a better Magic player? Read the rulings forum and check out the comprehensive rules!
1) If everything is stressing you out, you may be the problem. I'd recommend seeing a therapist and talking to them about it before picking up and moving. If it's depression or anxiety-related, simply moving isn't going to help and it may just make things worse.
2) Just packing up and going isn't a good idea. We're not exactly in an environment where someone can just show up somewhere and expect to get a decent job before their modest savings runs out. What does 'take care of yourself for a while' mean to you? If you want out of your current situation, find a job elsewhere first or just move somewhere else in the same area and distance yourself.
3) What would you be leaving behind? Do you really want to burn those bridges permanently, because if you just up and move to get away from people, those people don't forget about it. Especially when you leave without a plan.
TerribleBad at Magic since 1998.A Vorthos Guide to Magic Story | Twitter | Tumblr
[Primer] Krenko | Azor | Kess | Zacama | Kumena | Sram | The Ur-Dragon | Edgar Markov | Daretti | Marath
Your first one reminds me of the despair.com poster that says "The only consistent factor in all your failed relationships is you."
As far as resources are concerned, I could get by for a couple of years. I also happen to work in an industry that still has high demand, both for full time people and contractors/consultants, so I could probably find work without much of a struggle.
As far as what I'd be leaving behind: friendships, current job, and that's about it. No family, don't own a house.
FWIW, I am currently interviewing at places in other states, but this thought crosses my mind from time to time and I wanted to hear what others had to say, so thank you for replying
Want to be a better Magic player? Read the rulings forum and check out the comprehensive rules!
And I also love that quote, although my favorite version of that particular piece of wisdom is from Justified:
"If you met an ******** in the morning, you met an ********. If you meet ********s all day, you're the ********."
It's just good to be reminded to get out of your own head every once in a while and try to examine something more objectively. If more people did this on a regular basis, the world would be a much better place.
TerribleBad at Magic since 1998.A Vorthos Guide to Magic Story | Twitter | Tumblr
[Primer] Krenko | Azor | Kess | Zacama | Kumena | Sram | The Ur-Dragon | Edgar Markov | Daretti | Marath
It felt like every part of my life was stressing me out, but it mostly just stemmed from that. School was getting tougher, i got sick my senior year and had to have my tonsils out. I lost a decent number of friends through high school, just because we grew apart and went in different directions. Now things are better.
If it feels like every single thing bothers you for a different reason, then maybe you do need to surround yourself with different things. Or maybe you need to change the way you look at things. I would certainly try making an inner change before you went with an outward one though. Inner changes don't cost a dime, and are a lot less physical work than moving your life and starting over.
So overall i would say don't uproot yourself just yet. Give everything, including yourself, a chance. Be patient with life. Keep in mind it's going to stress you out, and you can't avoid stress no matter where you go. The best thing to do is to change the way you relate to it, but if it's too far gone, you may need a fresh start, and that isn't a bad thing.
I've done it quite a few times and ended up homeless every single time. I've rebounded well each time only to do it again. I'll spare the drama and tell you the answer. Deal with your problems, do not run from them. You WILL have to deal with them eventually. With that said, sometimes you need to destroy to create but its important you understand the consequence and are prepared to deal with certain outcomes. There is something to be said for moving on but you need to understand what you want to accomplish with your move or it's an exercise in futility. Going to look for the unknown is an exercise in futility for most people.
calling liberals loons=not okay
The standard to which the forum moderators apply the rules here.
Research unemployment rates first. Dont pick something at random
for he is the messenger between the spheres
and the traveler between the realms of the living and the dead.
He shall summon forth the ancient ones
and wake them from their deathly slumber
then shall the elder signs be shattered.
Trade Thread
Unless you too, still mourn the loss of Troy.
Remember that the grass is always greener. You very well could end up hating wherever you escape to more than your current residence. I've hated Cleveland for the longest time and when I was younger I was in the same situation (although I did have less fallback moneys) but I could never bring myself to up and leave my family and friends despite despising this area. It's a very difficult life decision. I know many people who have moved across country to start fresh and only a few were really successful (relatively speaking).
I understand the "don't run from your problems" mantra, but I think I'm having a tough time seeing ways those problems could even be solved in the first place. My family is of no use to me (I have another thread in this section if you wanted a glimpse into that, haha), my friends largely seem to expect things of me to the point where I've distanced myself because I felt like I was being used, and I'm extremely unhappy with my job and similar jobs in the area don't interest me (and trust me, I've looked quite a bit).
I'm the kind of person who thinks that people never really change, and I have no patience for relationships that require a tune up every few months to remind the other person "hey, I don't like how you're treating me." I'm still civil to them, but for the most part I just stop bothering with them.
I've already had people suggest I "talk to someone", and perhaps this is naive, but it don't see why I need find ways to cope with people I don't want to have in my life anymore when it's easier to just cast them off.
Want to be a better Magic player? Read the rulings forum and check out the comprehensive rules!
I understand social and vocational stagnation because I'm going through it myself. Leaving might be the best solution but it's not really a first step in positively changing your life. Planning is the key to success and will reduce the liklihood of regrets later on. Since you seem to have a decent level of financial stability perhaps traveling to a trade show or convention of your profession would be helpful. Seminars, training, and networking AND a vacation seem like a winning proposition. It's a great way to feel out the job markets and social scenes of potential relocation spots.
1. Context of you
2. Context of through you
3. Context of everything without you
If certain people's behaviors are carried on without your being there, and people have a certain reputation that is known. Then those people are a part of the problem, and can easily also be affecting and influencing your own behaviors in a different way. Especially, if you're behaving different in a different environment for long sustained periods of time.
There's a real limit to person responsibility when collective responsibility enters the mix. There's a collective responsibility to maintain a healthy environment so that individuals can grow and experience a higher quality of life. If the people are seriously toxic or do not share your values as an individual, then looking for other places to live and other people to associate leads for the better.
Removing evil influences isn't running from a problem, it's called shunning/removing the problem and when done as a last sort and in a healthy situation. You're more able to thrive so as long as you don't encourage other people of a similar way back into your life.
I agree with Bitsy, take things slow, and analyze where a good move is. Build contacts and the like. Unless of course someone is directly trying to really harm you, then get out of the situation as soon as possible.
Modern
Commander
Cube
<a href="http://www.mtgsalvation.com/forums/the-game/the-cube-forum/cube-lists/588020-unpowered-themed-enchantment-an-enchanted-evening">An Enchanted Evening Cube </a>
This bit troubles me a little. I'm not a psychologist or anything, but I have battled depression all my life. And the above quote sounds like something I've said when I was really depressed. Relationships take work. You will never in your life have a relationship that just runs on its own without an occasional "tune up." I used to run from romantic relationships whenever they got hard, for the same reasons you cite in your quote above; I figured if I had to work to make it work, why bother? But eventually I realized that I was the problem. It wasn't that I hadn't found the right person, it was that I wasn't willing to try to make it work with a potential right person.
Modern: GW Hatebears/midrange, WGU Knightfall/evolution midrange stuff
Standard: nope
Legacy: W Death & Taxes
EDH (not Commander!): W Avacyn, Angel of Hope, GR Ruric Thar, the Unbowed, WGB Anafenza, the Foremost, WU Hanna, Ship's Navigator