I've moved. Again. Because of work reasons. I'm at the new place for around a month now, and it seems I can't make any friends at all. Like I forgot how to make them.
I'm friendly with all my co-workers, but we all go our separate ways after work, we never really do anything social together. I still consider my friends from where I moved from to be my true friends and it feels like I'm completely unable to make any more friends that's on that level(probably because I knew them since HS).
So I'm usually by myself most of the time, I never go anywhere because none of the people I know right now, even if I see them everyday, seems to want to have any contact with me outside of work. To be fair, I also don't see me being close enough to them to suggest doing anything to like go out drinking, like I would with my old friends.
I'm friendly with all my co-workers, but we all go our separate ways after work, we never really do anything social together.
I know that feeling quite well. I have a lot of trouble connecting with new people and making friendships in a friendless environment (I have significant social anxiety issues). The best advice I can give is to start with these work people, see if you can find anyone who shares a regular interest or hobby. Often times if you can find that, the other party will seek to initiate out of work socialization.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
“Your body is not a temple, it's an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”
― Anthony Bourdain, Kitchen Confidential
I will always firmly stand by the belief that Magic is a game first and a collectable second.
No, you aren't screwed. You just need to find a group of people who share your interests.
A couple notes, first:
- You are never going to find another group of friends that you are as close to as your 'original' friends. Lower your expectations on that front, all my old high school buddies are my best friends, but I have other friends, too.
- A month isn't really much time to make new friends. It IS, however, enough time to be bummed out that you're away.
- Lots of people are hesitant with engaging people they work with outside of work. Don't let your coworkers set the bar for your social interactions.
I'm sure there are plenty of people near you that you could be friends with. The trick is in finding them. Look around your area for game or hobby shops, and go on 'game nights' they hold. Introduce yourself and say you're new to the area, I think you'll find success pretty quickly.
I'm sure there are plenty of people near you that you could be friends with. The trick is to finding them. Look around your area for game or hobby shops, and go on 'game nights' they hold. Introduce yourself and say you're new to the area, I think you'll find success pretty quickly.
This is exactly what I would have suggested.
Being a member of this forum, I assume you play magic. Look for LGS's in the area, and see when they have events that you can play in. That's a surefire way to find people that at least share one common interest with you, and will likely have more shared common interests.
Honestly, I wouldn't worry about it too much. It's only been a month, which isn't that long at all. You shouldn't expect to be able to find friends as close as your high school friends in one month. Yeah I know it sucks to be alone all the time, but put yourself out there! Maybe if some coworkers are leaving, suggest maybe you guys go to a sports bar (sports are usually a great shared interest, if you like them), or just a bar if that isn't your thing. Once you start putting yourself out there, I'm sure your coworkers will get to know you more, and hopefully that creates friendship.
Don't keep looking down, be happy, be positive, and be assertive!
I'm friendly with all my co-workers, but we all go our separate ways after work, we never really do anything social together. I still consider my friends from where I moved from to be my true friends and it feels like I'm completely unable to make any more friends that's on that level(probably because I knew them since HS).
So I'm usually by myself most of the time, I never go anywhere because none of the people I know right now, even if I see them everyday, seems to want to have any contact with me outside of work. To be fair, I also don't see me being close enough to them to suggest doing anything to like go out drinking, like I would with my old friends.
Am I screwed?
I know that feeling quite well. I have a lot of trouble connecting with new people and making friendships in a friendless environment (I have significant social anxiety issues). The best advice I can give is to start with these work people, see if you can find anyone who shares a regular interest or hobby. Often times if you can find that, the other party will seek to initiate out of work socialization.
― Anthony Bourdain, Kitchen Confidential
I will always firmly stand by the belief that Magic is a game first and a collectable second.
A couple notes, first:
- You are never going to find another group of friends that you are as close to as your 'original' friends. Lower your expectations on that front, all my old high school buddies are my best friends, but I have other friends, too.
- A month isn't really much time to make new friends. It IS, however, enough time to be bummed out that you're away.
- Lots of people are hesitant with engaging people they work with outside of work. Don't let your coworkers set the bar for your social interactions.
I'm sure there are plenty of people near you that you could be friends with. The trick is in finding them. Look around your area for game or hobby shops, and go on 'game nights' they hold. Introduce yourself and say you're new to the area, I think you'll find success pretty quickly.
TerribleBad at Magic since 1998.A Vorthos Guide to Magic Story | Twitter | Tumblr
[Primer] Krenko | Azor | Kess | Zacama | Kumena | Sram | The Ur-Dragon | Edgar Markov | Daretti | Marath
This is exactly what I would have suggested.
Being a member of this forum, I assume you play magic. Look for LGS's in the area, and see when they have events that you can play in. That's a surefire way to find people that at least share one common interest with you, and will likely have more shared common interests.
Honestly, I wouldn't worry about it too much. It's only been a month, which isn't that long at all. You shouldn't expect to be able to find friends as close as your high school friends in one month. Yeah I know it sucks to be alone all the time, but put yourself out there! Maybe if some coworkers are leaving, suggest maybe you guys go to a sports bar (sports are usually a great shared interest, if you like them), or just a bar if that isn't your thing. Once you start putting yourself out there, I'm sure your coworkers will get to know you more, and hopefully that creates friendship.
Don't keep looking down, be happy, be positive, and be assertive!
My Mafia Stats - My Helpdesk
G Omnath, Locus of Mana U Arcum Dagsson BUG The Mimeoplasm GW Gaddock Teeg X Karn, Silver Golem